Chapter Text
“J… Joshua!” Clive belted out, as if they were separated by Heaven and Earth, and not just a stone’s throw across a whore’s living quarters.
He bolted forward with the desperation of someone chasing a mirage– but instead of tackling them both to the ground, he ground to a halt and dragged his brother into a close embrace, one arm anchored tightly around his waist, one buried in a mound of delicate strands, like a war flag in the soft earth of a new battlefield.
“Joshua, Joshua–” Clive sobbed, dragging Joshua’s ghostly-pale face into his neck. It couldn’t be anyone else– there was never a moment of uncertainty. His features had changed, but the Phoenix called out to him from within, confirming it– the feeling of heat, of fire– of kindling from the same tree catching fire…
“Clive…” Joshua said faintly. Very slowly, he lifted his hands– slender, shaking hands, and cupped them around Clive’s back. He touched his fearsome pauldron, and distantly absorbed the colors of his leathers– the color scheme painfully familiar. Clive’s hot tears fell onto his back and raced down his spine, intercepted by scanty clothes.
“Where… What…” He felt– numb. As numb as ever he had on the worst of nights. He felt this couldn’t be real. “You’re dead …” he whispered… and gave the ghost a mighty shove.
Clive stumbled back and crashed onto his knees, his blue eyes wide and beseeching. For a phantom, he was very convincing. Joshua’s eyes narrowed murderously. “You– you dare …” he choked out–
“Joshua–”
“– take my brother’s face…” Joshua snarled. The Phoenix reared within him, fingers of flame lancing through his bloodstream. A flame sparked to life in the palm of his hand, matching the crimson-red prick in the depths of his pupils.
It– it made him angry enough that– Founder! How many years had he toiled in this place? His pale eyes were swamped with yellow, the heat of the Phoenix snapping free of its chains–
He could burn this place down and start anew, as he had with The Risen– Nobody needed to ever know it was him! He simply could not tolerate the– the blasphemy against his brother–
The anger, the fury at losing the life he’d so tediously built here was nothing compared to the impertinence of this, this imposter…
“Joshua– please! ” that voice– bitterly familiar, like a song he’d nearly forgotten– shouted out to him. “It’s me– please, Joshua… look ! I am real, I am alive– look !”
Through the veil of flames– perhaps all inside his head, he made out a familiar shape– a token. A token that matched his. Something The Risen had stolen from him, and he stole back when he escaped. Only two had ever been made.
The roaring flames were snuffed suddenly. He stared in mounting horror at the earring that matched his, the perfect pair that he and Clive had split between them.
“Fuh… Founder…” Joshua wheezed. With his fire extinguished, he was suddenly as cold as death. This was his brother– his brother , who now lived on this same mortal plane where Joshua had been defiled so thoroughly– and now he would see – “It can’t be…” he choked out.
He gave Clive a weak shove, but this time, it had no effect on the broader man. Clive grabbed him up and enveloped him in another bone-breaking embrace. One hand pinned his wrists together against his chest, and the other looped around the back of his neck, holding him close.
“I… You… you were dead…” Joshua whispered faintly.
“As were you!” Clive sobbed, hiding his face in Joshua’s hair. “Please– Please tell me you haven’t been here this whole time…”
“Not– not the whole… time…” Joshua’s voice was distant to his own ears. All of a sudden, his knees gave out beneath him, and Clive caught him up and lowered him gingerly to the ground. He gathered him like a child into his lap, his lanky legs spilling over one side, toes cold on the floorboards.
Tears with no end and no beginning trickled down both men's faces– Joshua’s as quiet as snow, as they ever had been, while Clive released small hiccupping sobs, clutching him close. Joshua wouldn’t be able to break his hold, even should he wish it. Instead, he relaxed into the binding embrace, lost in a fugue.
“Joshua… Joshua…” He was brought back to the present a few minutes later– or it may have been hours. The room was as cold as ever, his possessions measly, his bed simple– simple enough to be fucked upon, and change the sheets easily.
He was nude, but for the useless scrap of fabric serving as his robe. Gods– he had… he had never been ashamed of his profession before this very moment– it was simply a fact written upon a page– not until he found that Clive was still alive, and standing before him– or rather, kneeling, now with another man’s fluids dripping onto his fine leather pants.
With a mournful whine, Joshua shifted to get away, but he was no match for his brother, this warrior . A heroic warrior, no doubt… whose arms constricted like a serpent around him, hauling him close as if he could absorb him through sheer force of will. By the flame, how Joshua wished he could be absorbed into nothing at this very moment…!
He puffed out a tiny sound of discomfort, extending his long neck for a gasping breath. He felt as if he was wrapped in a heavy canvas and thrown over the edge of a ship, the current dragging him deep… Clive’s heavy armor pressed like blades against his waifish frame.
“Joshua, it’s me…” The sprinkle of hot tears on his face reawakened him fully, and he refocused on his brother’s handsome face. Handsome, even with a nasty scar cut across it. A part of him yearned to lift a trembling hand to touch it– but he couldn’t move. He cleared his throat with difficulty.
“And… what of you?” Joshua asked. His voice cracked at the end, suffused with a fresh wave of tears. “Where have you been?”
Clive flinched as if struck, and only just managed not to drop Joshua to the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut, a few stray tears slipping through.
“I– I was tossed to the army of Sanbreque, and… and branded,” he choked out. “Until… Five years ago, I… I found… Jill, and…”
“Jill?” Joshua said faintly. Clive heaved him impossibly closer, nose pressed to the crown of his head.
“Yes, she’s alive. And… and Torgal is right outside. Come… I’ll, I’ll show you everything…”
Joshua tensed up, and very sluggishly… lifted his hands to nudge Clive away. “... No,” he whispered.
Clive stared at him, his mouth slack. Joshua struggled out of his arms, and dragged his feet beneath him. He stumbled away, dragging the robe up to cover his shoulders. His hands quaked, cold and pale. “I– I need to think,” he said softly, stumbling towards the opposite wall. He was going nowhere in particular, he just needed to get away …
“Joshua…” Clive’s heartbroken voice drifted from behind him. He heard the clank of armor as Clive arose to his feet. Joshua imagined him reaching out, and could not turn around to face him.
“... What brought you here now , brother?” Joshua choked, tucking his hands beneath his elbows. The walls were barren. Even should he save enough gil to decorate, why would he ever want to? It would only become a point for the most annoying of his clientele to scoff at or remark upon, and he never wished for them to know him that deeply.
“...” Clive was silent. Joshua ducked his head down, and crept a few steps closer to his small vanity, and reached out to touch the old, worn out wood.
“... Leave,” Joshua said.
“Joshua–”
“I said, leave !” Joshua barked, spinning around. “Do you frequent these places often, brother? Do you seek the touch of a stranger? If you would have my touch, then stay. Otherwise, leave me to my thoughts . By the Flame, please !”
Clive remained kneeling, frozen… and then slowly rose to his feet. Joshua could finally look him over at his leisure, at the long sweep of his cape, and his carefully kept armor. His feathery black hair, fathomless blue eyes, and the downturned set of his resting mouth…
Joshua clenched his teeth. His stomach flipped– indeed, he remembered, deep down, the level of admiration he’d felt for his brother all those years ago. His body now confused it with carnal attraction. He resisted the urge to grimace and turn away to hide his shame.
That his brother would find him now , after he’d been so sullied. It suddenly seemed that it would have been better to die long ago.
“... I… am the leader of an operation which liberates Bearers,” Clive said suddenly. Very softly. Joshua blinked. “... We… were drawn by reports of strange deaths by fire in this area. We… assumed that an unbranded fire Bearer was responsible… One who might need… help…”
“... Ah,” Joshua said very softly, and turned away. “I see now.”
He could feel Clive’s gaze burning into his back, yearning to close the distance between them again. Again, he lifted his eyes to his empty walls.
“... Are you investigating from my quarters, then?” Joshua said lightly. “... Or do you think I'm the culprit?”
“... Joshua…”
A bitter laugh parted Joshua’s lips, and he curled forward and went back to hugging himself around the middle. A manic grin spread across his cheeks.
“To think! Did I need only to kill a few fiendish brutes to draw you here? We could have been reunited ten years ago! Or– five years ago, I suppose. The news may not have reached you in your army tent.”
“I– I didn’t sleep in a tent, Joshua,” Clive choked raspily. “I… I wish…”
“We all wish, don’t we!” Joshua announced, giving a mad little twirl. “Yes, I’m your man. I have rejected the Phoenix all this time– what good has it ever done me, after all! But six months ago, I came across a very unpleasant man, a murderer and a rapist, among other things. So I called upon the sacred flame… and I killed him. And I liked it. Yes, it was me!” Joshua whispered.
He glanced over and caught Clive’s eye, bright with tears. He felt a pang in his chest, and added weakly, “... I’ve healed people, too, you know. Don’t look at me like I am a monster. I am the monster’s refuse.”
“Joshua, please… Come back with me. To the Hideaway.”
“The Hideaway,” Joshua whispered. “... It sounds like a charming place.”
“Juh–”
“I’m tired of hearing my name,” Joshua whispered. “I don’t use that name here. I am called Margrace now.”
Clive wagged his head back and forth. “Come–”
“Is it more charming than the place I have here?” Joshua teased, his gaze once more locked with a wooden panel somewhere, his fingertips still tracing the edge of his vanity, as if it alone could anchor his feet to the ground. It was painful to look at his brother for longer than a moment. Founder, that his beloved brother needed to be confronted with such filth –
“Please–”
“What were you going to do with this unbranded fire Bearer if they refused to go with you? Would you force them? Kill them?” Joshua whispered. Clive didn’t answer. Joshua huffed out a laugh.
“Do one of those things, or else leave me. Are you still loyal to me? Will you still heed my orders?” Joshua ground his teeth together. He felt more than saw Clive dig in his heels.
“I’ve paid for your time.” Clive pointed out, sliding his feet to shoulder-width apart, as if preparing for a battle.
Joshua huffed out a bitter laugh. “So you have… Alright, brother. I’ll make you a deal,” he lifted his eyes to Clive’s face again, his gaze swimming with darkness. “... If you have it in you to fuck me… right here where you’ve found me… Then I shall accompany you to your Hideaway.”
Clive’s face turned as pale as a sheet. A triumphant smile twisted Joshua’s lips. He opened his mouth to gloat, but was shocked speechless when Clive very deliberately… removed his sword and sheath from his shoulder.
“... Very well,” Clive whispered. “Is that all?”
Joshua stared stupidly at him– until Clive swept forward and fell upon him with a kiss, the rough texture of his gloves chafing Joshua’s cheeks.
“Mmf!” he huffed, driven backwards a step by Clive’s onslaught. Their lips clashed violently, Clive’s tongue sneaking into his mouth, nudging between his parted teeth. Clive pushed him back one step, two– his wrist whacked the edge of the vanity when it snapped up to grab at Clive’s neck.
They were of a similar height– Joshua may even be a hair taller, he thought, but he was easily herded backwards into the wall, one wrist pinned against it while Clive ruthlessly plundered his mouth. For a moment, he was jealous of how many lovers Clive must have had– jealous of who else must have caught his brother’s eye, felt his touch…
But then he remembered his own position… and surrendered to the treatment, intent only on showing his brother up, then.
He released a soft, alluring groan, and his hand scraped around to the front of Clive’s chest, tugging impatiently at the belts that held his handsome cape closed by a prayer. It fell to the ground around Clive’s bulky boots, and Joshua carded his fingers up through the back of Clive’s hair, arching up, closer, closer…
Clive’s free hand darted sinfully beneath a fold of Joshua’s robe, bare fingertips tracing his side and bumping over the slightly visible ladder of his ribcage. His robe buckled open, the sloppy tie he’d made with the sash easily falling open again. He separated his legs, invited Clive closer. At this rate, it felt like they would fuse together…
“Oh…” This couldn’t be happening, Joshua thought, tipping his chin back, and savagely biting his lip. Maybe he really was fully gone as a whore… It was the only thing that could explain… This intense craving, this jolt of arousal…
Clive yanked back, and peppered a few hard, heated kisses down the column of his throat– and then withdrew completely, stumbling back.
“Tell me now,” Clive’s breaths came in harsh pants, blue eyes eclipsed by the blackness of his pupil. “... if you want to stop. And continue our conversation in a civilized way.”
Joshua mirrored his breaths, his naked chest bared to the world, pink nipples stiffly pebbled.
“... No,” Joshua answered. And then pounced. Clive caught him around his soft thighs when he wound them around his waist, the hilt of his shortsword prodding uncomfortably against Joshua’s skin.
“Fuck,” Clive muttered, stumbling back, back, until the back of his knees hit the bed, and he went toppling down, Joshua astride him. His dark hair fanned across the pillows, and Joshua reared back, drinking him up greedily.
“... Who is really the whore, wearing a top like this ?” Joshua whispered playfully, giving a tug at the strings holding the V of his top together. “Take it off, if you dare.”
Clive clamped his jaw and then shucked off his gauntlets, gloves, pauldrons– everything up top with an impreciseness he hadn’t allowed himself in… since…
Joshua darted down, tending to his bottoms in the meantime. He didn’t bother with the multitude of jagged armor, nor half his belts– only threw aside the short sword, and divested him of the belts that kept his trousers secure around his waist. He yanked at the lacing holding them shut, and very soon had Clive’s half-hard cock, darkly flushed, jutting out the front.
“What now?” Joshua whispered, belatedly shouldering out of his robe and tossing it to the floor. He lowered his mouth over Clive’s cock, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip, leaving a bead of saliva to smooth the way– all while staring up in challenge… “Will you beg me to stop again?”
“I will win–”
Joshua dove down, and spit crassly on Clive’s shaft, only to rub it around the head with his tongue, and pull him all the way out. His balls sat, heavy, atop their leather nest, and Joshua moaned softly, eyelids fluttering shut, and swept down to tend to him.
“Fuck!” Clive groaned, reaching down to grab at Joshua’s hair.
“Mm…” Joshua replied, swallowing him down deeper and deeper with each pass, until finally he was nuzzling the base of Clive’s dick with his nose, and it rested against the back of his throat, inflamed.
“Ugh,” Clive gurgled, while Joshua bobbed up and down, altering his pace, his angle. His fingertips played with the swell of his brother’s balls, and then stroked through the trails of spit when Joshua dragged his mouth all the way off, choking and gagging for effect.
Without missing a beat, Clive flipped them over, pinning Joshua neatly on his back beneath his bulk. Now Joshua’s hair was splayed out, rich butterscotch atop the dingy sheets. Clive stole his own taste off of Joshua’s tongue, hands shaking almost imperceptibly as they explored–
As they traced the underside of Joshua’s jaw, petted his throat, his pale shoulder, and dragged one of Joshua’s hands back up around his neck, then bent down to kiss the inside of his arm. An uncertain noise spilled past Joshua’s lips– he’d never felt… like he was the one being serviced, before…
But Clive rocked above him, simply bumping them together in the front, his dark hair stuck in a fan across his forehead. Joshua bit his lip when Clive continued his explorations, thumbing his nipples, tracing the small swell of his chest…
Now Clive, Joshua thought, had a chest worth fondling. All of a sudden, he wanted nothing more than to flip them over and fuck his brother’s tits, and finally scream out, ‘Why has it taken you this long to come for me?!’ while splattering Clive’s face with cum.
But when he attempted to budge, Clive didn’t give an inch , and only bore down harder, suddenly grabbing at Joshua’s flesh to bring him up to speed. His hand was already wet with slick, and Joshua huffed out, “We have a supply for customers. You needn’t have used your own…”
“I am not your customer ,” Clive answered swiftly, teeth shining in a snarl.
An embarrassingly high-pitched whine broke Joshua’s lips when Clive’s thumb pressed over his tip, pumping him brutally. His legs fell open still wider, and he took up whimpering when Clive leaned back and reached with his other hand to begin petting between his legs, at the top of his thighs, circling ever closer...
“Ah! Ah– Wait !”
Clive froze, his chest swelling with breath. Joshua’s thighs stuck to Clive’s leathers, and he pursed his reddened lips, tipping his chin up.
“That’s right… You are only my brother, right? Tell… Tell me, Clive. Why are you doing this? Is it just so that I’ll give into your silly request? You know you can’t keep me anywhere, right?”
Clive was silent, his hand still on Joshua’s arousal. Joshua tilted his head to the side in challenge.
“... Have you ever wished to have me like this? Have you ever imagined it?”
“...”
A dark, unhappy smile spread across Joshua’s lips. “You–”
“I thought you were dead, Joshua. You’ve… You’ve been a ten-year-old child to me… until this night.”
The smile disintegrated from Joshua’s lips, replaced by a petulant frown. “... I’ve imagined you many times, Clive. Once I woke up–”
“Woke up?” Clive shifted back with a concerned frown.
“Never mind that!” Joshua snapped, grasping for Clive’s shoulders. “Once I woke up, I… I.” He couldn’t. He couldn’t find a way to explain any of it. So he finished lamely, “I envisioned you many times. I imagined your protection. And yes, I imagined you fucking me. Just. Like. This.”
He tossed his head back and pinned Clive with a challenging glare. “I imagined how you might look if you continued to practice with the sword. Of course, you are even more developed than I could have dreamt…”
His gaze dropped to Clive’s exposed, sweat-slicked chest, and he reached up to brush his fingertips over one pert nipple. Clive groaned, and grabbed for his hand, pinning him urgently.
“So you are only doing this out of a sense of obligation… In that case, I rescind my challenge. If you have never seen me–”
“I see you now ,” Clive growled low, diving down again. He endeavored to show Joshua the strength of his conviction through a showering of rough kisses, and reached down to prod firmly at his puckered hole.
“Ah!” Joshua cried out against his lips. Clive took the opportunity to crowd still closer, shoving his tongue a bit deeper.
Halfway through a working night, his hole was as loose as could be expected– and still wet from the client who had just left him. Still, Clive didn’t hesitate. He shoved one finger, then two, into the space, and scissored him open, drinking up his pitchy cries.
He found his prostate quickly, and pressed it until Joshua was a crying mess beneath him, shoving his legs open impossibly wider, grinding his hips helplessly into the treatment… Clive’s thumb caressed the veins of his wrist, both still pinned above his head. His hands, his grip was so powerful …
For the first time in forever, Joshua felt… safe. If he couldn’t break his brother’s hold, then surely nobody could get past his brother to hurt him, either.
His whimpers and whines gradually devolved into a childlike hum, a steady stream of crying out his brother’s name… Until thick fingers vacated him, and he heard the slick stroke of Clive preparing his own length.
“Oh, Founder, please…” Joshua’s voice was low and wrecked. He peered down through the tears stuck to his lashes, mouth agape with soft, puffing breaths…
Then his brother’s cock was guided into him. The bulbous head met little resistance, and sank steadily in, inch by inch. Clive was just as ‘well-developed’ below as above, and Joshua wriggled on his stiff flesh, wailing openly.
“By the Flame…” Clive murmured, bottoming out. He readjusted, clamping a hand around Joshua’s hip as he rocked forward.
“Ahnggg…” Joshua yipped, digging his heels into the base of Clive’s spine. He huffed and cried as he was pounded into, steadily faster, leather brushing his elevated ass. His neglected length bobbed against his stomach, and abruptly, Clive released his side in order to pump the pink-flushed flesh in perfect time.
“Oh– Fuck. Oh!” Joshua and Clive’s howling voices blended together, until Joshua spilled over Clive’s fingers without any further fanfare, sticky and thin, and Clive followed him shortly after, spurting inside. They shuddered and shivered, chests heaving.
Joshua’s hips slumped and Clive’s softening flesh slipped out, leaving his hole fluttering and shiny-wet around the rim. Clive fell to the side and flung his arm across Joshua’s stomach, dragging him close. He shivered when their clammy skins touched, their spent cocks nuzzling lightly together in the buzzing, heaving aftermath.
“... So you’ll do it, then?” Clive asked, several minutes later, and very intensely, as if the weight of the world rested on Joshua’s answer. “You’ll come back with me to the Hideaway?”
Joshua pretended to be busy catching his breath, but when it became clear Clive wasn’t going to let the topic go, he puffed out a small sigh, and dipped his forehead into the hollow of Clive’s throat.
“Clive… I’m not the person you remember me to be. I’m not… a good person…”
“I don’t believe that,” Clive interjected. “And I don’t care.”
Joshua stared into the shadows beneath Clive’s naked shoulder. “... I’ve killed people. And a part of me wishes for you to leave me here so I can go on killing them.”
“... Join me and Jill,” Clive said, petting Joshua’s spine, and cupping the back of his head. “We could always use more people who… who are willing to kill for a good cause.”
Joshua cracked a tiny smile. “You would allow me to fight alongside you?”
Clive’s swallow was audible. “I… You said it yourself, Joshua, that I can’t keep you. I have no intention of… of trapping you somewhere. If you wish to continue fighting, then I wish to fight by your side. I wish for you to fight at our side.”
“At your side,” Joshua corrected, staring downward, lost in thought. “Clive… I don’t give a fuck about anybody else. I’m sorry, but not even Jill.”
The silence was deafening. Clive whispered, “I understand. That’s fine, Joshua. A lot… a lot has happened.”
Joshua nodded. “Very well. I’ll collect my earnings in the morning, and then we shall go. Where are you staying?”
“Here,” Clive answered very seriously.
Joshua snorted, “We don’t have any rooms for the public.”
“I’ll buy you out for the entire night,” he answered stubbornly.
Joshua’s chuckle faded, and he rolled onto his back, his expression covered by shadows. Clive focused very hard on the lines of his face, his eyes squinting to read him.
Just as Clive opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, Joshua said, “Very well.” Clive’s mouth clicked shut. After a few moments, though, he opened it again to whisper, “Joshua… I’m sorry.”
Joshua turned his head, unable to ignore the absolutely shattered tone of voice. Not pity like he may have expected, but deepest empathy– pain– and guilt. A smile fluttered quickly across Joshua’s lips.
“Why, dear brother?” Clive was silent, and so Joshua continued, “Go and tell Madam that you’ll be booking me for the night. I’m eager to blow out the candle.”
Clive sat up slowly, a perplexed expression still shadowing his face. Joshua reached up to caress his cheek, although he could only muster that warmth and care for a mere moment before his hand dropped heavily away.
“Go on, Clive, and come right back. I’ll tell you of my trials later, and vice versa. You… you have nothing to apologize for. I gather that we were both ill-favored by fate.”
Clive cringed, and slowly stood up from the bed. He was very beautiful in the candlelight, even speckled with bruises and myriad of scars. Joshua admired him openly, and then continued, just as Clive finished shuffling into his trousers and soft blouse, and his hand found the door knob:
“You are neither our Mother, nor the Second Dominant of Fire,” he laughed quietly. “Therefore, I don’t have room enough to harbor any ill will against you. I’m… glad that we found each other again, Clive.”
A few tears surged up again while he took in the welcome sight of Clive’s figure hovering in the doorway, half-cloaked in shadow, exuding strength and kindness, as ever…
For the first time in such a long time, he breathed a sigh of relief, tentatively hopeful for the future.