Chapter Text
The ground felt soft under his feet as he was running, the little village quickly giving way to a vista of the dark woods and moonlit sky. He moved unthinking, not sure where to go, but unwilling to stop his racing thoughts to consider.
That thought remained unfinished, as the space opened up, and the ex-assassin found himself running onto a familiar cliff. His pace ground to a halt, as he took in the breathtaking view of dark sea reflecting the silvery moonlight, water oil-slick and calm as if nothing was wrong in the world. Last time he was here, he was 12, warm and happy, on a starlit summer night, next to the person that was the most important to him, convinced that they would never part. Killua closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling and slunk onto the short grass, putting one arm over his face, the other dropping to the ground. He was fighting hard against the feeling of utter turmoil in his chest, letting out shaky breaths, determined to keep from crying. He wasn’t sure for how long he’d lain there.
“Why does it always have to be so difficult…? Why do YOU have to be so difficult, Gon…” - he whispered to himself, half lucid.
Suddenly feeling a calloused hand close on the one in the grass jolted him into full awareness.
”I don’t know, Killua. Maybe you could tell me?” - Gon’s voice was quiet, but firm, as was his grasp on the paler man’s hand.
The latter tried to jerk himself out of the hold, but failed. He glared at the islander - “Let me go.”
”No.” - came a curt answer, Gon’s face a mask of calm - though he grimaced when Killua jolted a low-voltage current through his hand. But he didn‘t let go.
“What the hell. I said let me go.” - the Zoldyck was furious - “I will electrocute you for real if you don’t let go this instant.” - he spat out. Why did this idiot follow him? How did he manage to not notice someone was approaching? Now that he thought about it - the other man’s in was so perfect, he didn’t feel him even now, when he was holding his hand.
Gon was holding his hand.
But this also meant that Gon has gotten at last some of his nen back. And of course no one bothered to update him about this little, insignificant detail.
“I am not letting go. I let you go once and I never stopped regretting it. We will sit down and talk it all out, like we should have years ago.”- Gon smiled a bright, toothy and very fake smile that didn’t reach his eyes, the tone in his voice making it obvious it was one of the things he had made his mind up about and he’d stop at virtually nothing to achieve his goal.
Killua heard maybe half of that over the angry buzzing in his brain - his head was swimming, and he could barely hold himself together. “For fuck’s sake, Gon. You suddenly decide we need to talk and I’m just supposed to keel over and do what you want? We’re not twelve anymore! And after all this time of ignoring me? Why the hell do you think things always have to be your way?! Is Zushi at your heel not enough, you need another ego boost? Do you want to hear how I couldn’t live without you and what hole you left when you ditched me for your amazing adventures with the dad of the year? Is that it?” - by the end of the sentence he was shouting, his face getting flushed and tears back in his eyes.
“If things were my way we’d never had parted ways!” - the islander suddenly raised his voice. -“Look, Killua, I know how you feel-…”
“You don’t know shit about how I feel!” - Killua cut him off, sharply, sending furious sparks of electricity through both their bodies.
“Okay. Show me, then.” - said Gon, letting go of his hand and moving a few steps away, finally giving Killua some space. - “Hit me, electrocute me or whatever as much as you need to show me. Just…At the end of it - listen to what I have to say, please.” - his tone was soft, placating, and the last time Killua had heard him use that voice was when Gon was telling he was fine when he was throwing his life away. The scent of chimera ichor was suddenly in the air, along with the vision of Gon’s changed form, dark hair billowing in the nonexistent wind.
The ex-assassin inhaled a sharp breath, words spilling on their own, triggered by the vivid flashback…
“You chose to die. You chose your fucking vendetta over everyone and anyone. Over me. You destroyed yourself in the process, you pushed me away as if I wasn’t with you every step of the way, as if I didn’t do my best to support you and fulfil your every whim, you asshole.”
As if hypnotised, Killua was taking tiny, shaky steps towards Gon, until he was at arm’s length. He slowly reached out, closing his fist on the neckline of the dark haired man’s shirt, and lining his other hand in the position to strike.
They both were very, very still for a second - one bracing himself for the beating he fully well knew he deserved and was willing to take in order to have the other in his life, the other - in sudden realisations of things that have been in motion ever since they met at the Hunter Exam years ago.
It suddenly all made sense and Killua would have groaned at his own denseness if he wasn’t too engulfed in the realisation. The intensity of his feelings. How much influence Gon had over him. Why he was happy playing second fiddle. The less-than-innocent dreams and thoughts he was having. The odd jealousy seeing him with Zushi…
It all made sense.
And then, like a flash of lightning, the silver-haired man brought their lips together with enough force to bruise. The kiss was desperate and anguished, full of emotions Killua had been refusing to acknowledge for so long, pushing them down into the deepest, darkest corners of his soul - all that was poured into this brief touch. After seconds that felt like eternity, he broke the kiss, shoving Gon away from him. He took two steps back and spread his arms in a demonstrative gesture, his eyes dark and stormy, a sardonic smile on his lips.
“There. Happy with your newly acquired knowledge?”
Gon was staring at him, touching his lips with an expression of utter shock on his face, mouth agape. Then something changed. His eyes shone with familiar determination, as he closed the distance between them and cupped Killua‘s face with his hands.
“Almost.” - the word was but a whisper against the other‘s pale lips before he brought them back together again. His lips were very, very warm, the hands trailed off to Killua’s shoulders, light as a feather and giving him a way out if he so chose. The taller man leaned into the kiss, before reality caught up to him, and he broke away, an expression of utter confusion on his face.
“What.the.fuck, Gon.” - he finally managed. He was offered a sheepish smile, the dark haired islander sticking out his tongue in a gesture he well remembered as embarrassment, as rarely as Gon would get embarrassed. “Well, you started it first, didn’t you?” - he asked. - “It’s a relief to know you don‘t hate my guts, despite how the evening was going…”
“What are you talking about?” - Killua responded, a bit more sharply than he intended to. - “You greeted me as if nothing happened, as if you were happy to see me and then ignored me with Zushi plastered to you at all times.”
Gin sighed, and walked over to the edge of the cliff, sitting down. He patted the grass next to him, and Killua begrudgingly obliged. He sat in a respectable “we did not just kiss” distance, and looked at his friend expectantly. He was met with an earnest gaze of amber-brown eyes and Gon started speaking.
“When I first saw you I didn’t know what to do. I was both so, so happy and terrified, because I knew I had fucked up last time.” - he paused to gather his thoughts and turned away to look at the sea. After taking a deep breath he continued. - “All you said was true. I was selfish, I took too much, I was focused on getting revenge, I disregarded and pushed you away. And…despite all that… If we had spent a moment more saying our goodbyes at the World Tree, I would have broken down and begged you to go with me. I knew I hurt you and yet I almost asked for more.”
Ah, another thing that made sudden sense….
“And I was sure you just were giddy to see Ging and go off on an adventure” - Killua answered, turning a bit to look at the tan islander. Gon smiled wistfully at him, with a layer of self-hatred Killua had never seen in him and it was quite shocking to see the ever-confident man apparently having agonized for years about wronging someone.
“No, Killua. I wanted nothing more than to stay with you, but you had Alluka to take care of, you found your purpose - and it wasn’t travelling with the person who took you for granted. And… Without my nen I was a liability when it came to facing Illumi.” - he sighed.
“Maybe you should have asked me what I wanted, for a change.” - the taller man chastised, half-jokingly.
“Yeah, I should have.” - came a very serious response. Gon looked him in the eye. “But I was a dumb kid, Killua. I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have and that I will never do again. Like taking advantage of your feelings for me. I know it doesn’t excuse it, but I really wasn’t aware of the impact I was having. Just like with your hands during the volley match…. I knew you were hurt. But there was something I wanted, and not only you were the only one who could help me achieve it - you were the only one I wanted by my side when I did.” - he shifted his weight so that he was sitting on his knees, facing his friend, hands in his lap, face solemn and eyes downcast.
“Killua, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away, sorry for taking advantage of you, and for not taking your feelings into account. I was a selfish brat, this will never happen again. Can we please be friends again?”
The ex-assassin was sitting there, listening to the apology he never thought would happen. He sometimes daydreamed of Gon apologising to him, but it was very different from what he had imagined. The juxtaposition of the self awareness, regret and sincerity against the childish phrasing was just so jarring he couldn’t keep it in - he snickered and then started laughing, tumbling over into the grass. A very concerned Gon was leaning over him and trying to figure out what was actually happening.
“K-Killua?”
“Sorry, Gon, sorry, I just… Didn’t anticipate this. I really hoped it would one day happen, but…”
“Does this mean you accept the apology or should I continue?” - said the islander, with an anxious, worried edge in his voice, looking for any sign of rejection in the other’s eyes.
But he found none. There was a sparkle of amusement glimmering on the vast sea of affection that was the blue depths. Killua’s expression turned into a devious little smile, as he propped himself up on his elbows, bringing them nose to nose.
“Oh, I don’t know, I’m not convinced. Words are dime a dozen, you should follow up with action, Gon.” - he said, licking his suddenly very dry lips.
He got the response he hoped for. Gon blushed, hesitated for a heartbeat and kissed him, first gently, just pressing their mouths together, then leaning in and running his hand through the silver tresses down to the neck, pulling him up into his embrace.
Killua felt a flick of a soft tongue against his lips, and as he let Gon in, the kiss grew deeper and more fervent, the innocent yearning turning into something far less tame. The dark haired man shifted his weight, and without another warning simply hauled Killua to his lap, not breaking the kiss. The sudden feeling of Gon’s arousal against his own sent a wave of heat through the ex-assassin’s underbelly, and he brought his hands up, to run them through the other man’s coarse hair. That was when Gon’s mouth left his, moving to the pale column of Killua’s neck - kissing first his cheek, then jaw, then the tender spot at the junction and down, leaving a wet trail as far as the neckline of the T-shirt allowed. One place proved to be more sensitive, and a couple things happened almost at the same time - a lick on Killua’s collarbone, causing his fingers, still tangled in Gon’s hair to flex, giving the other a not-so-gentle tug, resulting in w surprised moan followed by a bite that made Killua buckle hard and choke down a whine. The guilty mouth retreated immediately, hands still caressing his back and shoulders.
A pair of questioning, brown eyes stared at him, clouded with lust he never anticipated seeing in his best friend. “Too much?” - Gon ventured, his tone apprehensive. Killua just leaned closer, and nipping at Gon’s earlobe whispered “Do it again.”
If there was fire before, this has stoked an inferno. The shorter man had him on the ground, pinned under his tan body in seconds, breathing hard and barely containing himself from grinding against him. Gon’s hands and mouth were relentless - caressing, groping and kissing every available inch of Killua’s body. His own arousal was almost painful against the tight denim, and when Gon’s strong hands slid under the elegant shirt, finally touching bare skin, he decided it was time to rid himself of the unnecessary garment. To his dismay, Gon stopped dead in his tracks, pausing everything he was doing, just and stared. His expression was that of hunger and awe, and the hands, hovering over Killua’s taut stomach were shaking slightly. He swallowed audibly and just sat there, taking in every inch of the pale, scarred body before him.
Killua shifted uneasily under his gaze. Being looked at, being seen - that usually meant nothing good.
“…Gon?”
Silence.
“Gon?”
“You’re so beautiful, Killua.” - finally came an answer, as Gon snapped out of his trance, and he dove down, capturing the other man’s lips again and then continuing down, tracing every silvery scar on his way.
“Jeez, you and the embarrassing shit you say!” - Killua groaned, the sound turning into a moan, when Gon licked his nipple before replying. “It’s not embarrassing, it’s true. Besides, in the current situation…” he smiled up slyly at the other man, whose face was red as a tomato.
“Shut up!” - he hissed, pushing Gon’s head down into his chest. Gon chuckled, and obliged, kissing and licking his way down almost to Killua's groin. There he slid his hands down Killua’s sides, reaching the waistband of his jeans and looked at the ex-assassin, an unspoken question in his eyes.
“Gon, I swear to god, if you stop what you’re doing I will hunt you down and feed you to Mike.” - the man growled in response, the ache of the untouched erection growing more urgent by the second. The trousers were gone in moments, Gon surprisingly deftly dealing with the buttons, and Killua laid there, bare and exposed, almost shining in the moonlight. It seemed to be a spur to action, because before the pale man managed to complain about their evident disparity in clothing status, there was a hot, wet and very eager mouth engulfing his dick. Gon gave head the same way he did everything else - he gave it his all, enjoying the process and learning as he went. And he was definitely not ashamed to show how much he liked it. The sounds he made and the self-satisfied smirk were driving Killua borderline insane. But he was not about to be that selfish. He tugged at Gon’s hair, eliciting a couple moans that almost ended his plans for being generous and brought the other man up for a kiss. He could taste himself on his lips, unfamiliar but not unpleasant.
Killua closed his fist sharply, pulling at the black strands, tipping Gon’s head up so that the gained access to his neck. Kissing his way up from the collarbone, he ended up at the earlobe and whispered - “Freecss, you have too many clothes on you. Strip. Now.” - accentuating every word with a kiss or tug. Gon’s eyes widened, but he obeyed, getting rid of the cargo pants and black boxers. Now, with the garments gone, Killua could appreciate how his body had changed. The years brought on bulk, lithe muscle and a lot of scars he was not familiar with.
But he’d have time to learn them all by heart.
Will you?
He pushed the thought down, focusing on the tan body in front of him. He traced the collarbone, defined shoulders and pecs, down to the erect and throbbing member, reddened and dripping with precum already. It was good to know he wasn’t the only one being stupid horny… He traced the thighs with soft touches, circling closer to the goal - Gon whimpering in a very undignified way and seemed to be straining not to buckle or get his hands back on Killua, letting him do his thing. That was new… The enhancer did change a lot more than it seemed, apparently.
But he could either get derailed by his thoughts or rail the man in front of him - and the choice was obvious. He slid his fingers over the throbbing dick, teasing the tip with his thumb before dipping down and giving a tentative lick. He did have his share of experiences, but with his mind elsewhere for the past years - they were nothing to write home about.
The taste was what he expected, saltiness mixed with musk and something uniquely Gon, that reminded him of cut grass and sunshine. His hand moved as if on its own, closing on his member, and he began to Bobby his head, sucking lightly, and moving his hands - one on himself and one on Gon - in the same rhythm, until he decided that was boring and he might as well show off - one of the few things the assassin training gave him that could be used in circumstances more fun than combat or reconnaissance.
Without a second thought he took a breath and took all of the length in, relaxing his throat until his nose touched Gon’s abdomen. The man tried to pull back and give Killua a warning, but the sensation was too much, and Gon unraveled with a moan, coming hard and long right into the warm mouth, his friend coming right after him, spilling into his hand and the grass below.
They were both panting heavily, as they looked at each other. “I’m sorry, Killua, I… Really meant to give you a heads up. And … I usually last longer.” - said Gon, slightly flushed and embarrassed, pulling the other into a hug on top of him. The ex assassin smirked smugly, wiping his hand into the foliage - “Hah, usually you’re not with me.” . He felt the body under him tense slightly at that, but then relax. “Do you want me to be?” - Gon whispered into the silver strands, hugging him closer and tighter. Killua’s heart skipped a beat at that, letting himself sink into the embrace, everything in him melting into an affirmative. But never really gave an answer - after a couple moments, the rhythm of Gon’s breathing told him the other man was fast asleep… The rumble of the heart and the steady rising and falling of his chest lulled Killua into a nap too.
The sun was already up when they woke up, but the grass was still damp with dew. They untangled their limbs slowly and started getting up, each marvelling at the quite unexpected development of events.
“Gon?” - Killua broke the silence first, trying hard to not stare at Gon’s tan arms as he stretched. His body contorted into shapes that made the other think of all the wonderful ways it would fit against his own.
“Mhm?” - Gon murmured, encouragingly. He seemed slightly on edge, and Killua realised he never answered his question - at least not aloud. Was it still on the table…?
“So…Is… Was this an one-off and we pretend it never happened, or…” - the insecurity in his voice was evident to anyone who knew him, thought to an outsider it might seem as a matter-of-fact inquiry. Gon crouched next to him, propping his chin on his hand and gave Killua the biggest grin.
“Nope.” - and he leaned in, stealing a kiss. - “I’m pretty sure I want to talk about this with Killua for the rest of my life. Unless we find better things for my mouth to do.” - he grinned again, his smile as radiant as the sun itself. Killua turned beet-red and borderline steaming from the ears.
“GON! How can you say this with such a straight face, hell!”
“Told ya, it’s not embarrassing when it’s true!”
“You doofus!”
Between the teasing and trying to find the eagerly discarded pieces of wardrobe, when they eventually managed to get back to the house it was around 8 in the morning.
They honestly didn’t expect anyone to be up yet, but they were greeted by a set table with all the guests sat there - and suddenly they had a dozen pair of eyes fixated on them, studying their expressions with unprecedented intensity.
Taken aback, they stared for a moment, and then a chorus of “Wheeeew!”, “Told ya sooo!” and the like erupted from the table, along with laughter and cheering. The deafening, triumphant “Pay up!” from Leorio to Hanzo, as the tall man gloated at the ninja was overshadowed by Alluka bolting towards them, and pulling them both into a hug.
“I’m so sorry, big brother!” - she sniffed, through tears and laughter -“I’m sorry for the deceit, but I’m so happy it worked!”
They both stared at her as if she had grown a second head (which, honestly, who knows, maybe would be possible).
Killua spoke first:
“Deceit?”
And then it clicked. He spun around to look at the table, at Bisky’s smug and satisfied expression, at Kurapika’s apologetic shrug, Leorio’s shit-eating grin…
“YOU GOD DAMNED ASSHOLES!”
Bisky leaned towards Kurapika with a theatrical whisper “See, I told you he was the smarter of the two…” and laughed gleefully. He looked at her, lack of understanding in his eyes “Am I supposed to congratulate you for stating the obvious?”
“Um… Could someone explain what’s happening?” - Gon chimed in, scratching his head in confusion.
“These fuckers planned th-mrffhm “ -
Killua started yelling, but was cut off by Alluka clasping a hand on his mouth and dragging them both to the table.
“To put it simply: we were tired of seeing you both in anguish, so we decided to act.” - explained Kurapika. -“It was mostly Alluka’s initiative, and I was pretty hesitant to aid, since it was a very personal matter… Until that pocket dial.” - he looked at Killua, sadness tinting his eyes. “We devised a quick plan that - knowing your psychological profile - should work… And it did.”
“I forged the invitation!” - Alluka beamed. -“And you were none the wiser! I deserve a pass for that part of training, don’t I?”
Killua didn’t know if he wanted to strangle or hug her. Or both.
“Ahh, that explains it!” - Gon’s expression of sudden enlightenment was both adorable and hilarious. -“Does this mean Zushi and Palm were in on it too?” - he turned towards the two.
“We did it for your own good.” - the Chimera Ant shrugged.
“The hell you did! We could have ended up beating the shit up out of each other!” - Killua snapped, still annoyed at the setup. In response Palm just covered one of her eyes and sweetly said - “Let’s say we had our ways of checking if you were doing okay…”
Killua turned red, sputtered, made a sound akin to a dying moose and would have probably murdered the woman on the spot, if Aunt Mito hadn’t put a hand on his shoulder, saying - “Now, now… Everything worked out fine, didn’t it? No reason to fret.”
“Yeah, you should be thanking us, you brats!” - Leorio yelled, standing up. Kurapika desperately tried to pull him down, but with no avail. -“And since we have the topic of you two morons sorted out, Kura and I have an announcement to make!”
The Kurta was now a similar shade as Killua, small and silent. Leorio just took his hand and brought it to his lips. “The wedding is August 1st, in York New - and you’re all invited. I will take personal offence if any of you don’t make it, so be there!”
The table went silent, only Alluka’s cheering from the top of her lungs and Melody clapping. Then everyone exploded into congratulations, laughter and questions - but that was another story all together…
Gon and Killua had still a lot to talk through - but the first step towards making their story a happy one was done.