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Thomas ran his finger back and forth on the paper, his eyes focusing on the words on the front. Written as if he was handling a cake, the lettering having perfect swirls, readable to anyone who gazes upon it. His head peered up hearing the ringing to the door, feeling the room brighten with each step the man stepped. Was it his smile? How he was showing care to everyone he walked by?
Do I even need to look for a reason? Thomas asked himself. The bright light Florian cast, it wasn’t in anything Florian displayed, was it? It was in what Thomas own feelings, a connection he felt with Florian he felt no one else experienced.
Thomas with a hurry put the letter up, away from view. He wiped his hands on his apron, stepping behind the counter. His posture was broken from the usual, more relaxed compared to the normal professionalism he displayed for others. As Florian approached closer, Thomas had a gentle smile, one within his eyes.
“Good afternoon Thomas!” Florian exclaimed, resting his elbow on the counter. His head leaned into his hand, his smile widening as he stared up at Thomas.
“Well, I could say the same! What brings you back today, Florian, another chat?”
“Of course! I just got done with another job.” Florian took off his hat, looking at Thomas with a plead. Thomas laughed, turning to his case of goods.
“I don’t suppose you want a treat for your hard work now?” Thomas teased, as he slowly unlocked the case.
Just like a puppy, Florian gleamed brighter, his head nodding at a speed one could’ve gotten sick from looking at. Thomas took his time as always, carefully taking it out, and making sure the sweet was all the way safe inside its parchment. He kept it wrapped until it could reach Florian’s hands, the paper spilling over his hands as he held onto it. It was as if Thomas blinked, the man gouging down the good. Thomas simply chuckled, but the feeling inside his heart seeming to melt; or perhaps it was a fuzz?
Florian folded the paper, placing it inside his pocket. “Ah, good as always… Thomas, I really cannot get enough of these!”
“Well, anyone can bake a good bread, cake, tart. It is all in the delivery and the person. If the person is happy, the food taste happy. If the delivery is handed with love, it tastes as if it was with love.”
“You have to always be handing me these with love then! It is honestly like a bomb going off in my mouth every time I eat something of yours!”
Thomas smile slightly faded as he locked back up the case, not being able to help but think how if only Florian knew. It was now not the time to mourn his feelings, as everything in this moment is just an unsure mess in his head.
“You’re an appreciative customer, and a friend I adore beyond miracles themselves.”
Florian stopped speaking for a moment, seemingly zoned out on Thomas face. Lost in thoughts, the expression on his face. He cleared his throat, and laughed as he said, “Good thing I am one!” They both started to laugh, neither hearing as the door once again chimed. It wasn’t until Florian felt a hand on his shoulder, startling him, and the person next to him spoke.
“It’s good that you two can find joy in each other on this rather sad day!” The mayor spoke, confusion on Thomas face. Florian, however, had physical panic on his face, waving his hand back and forth at his neck.
“Why do say that?” Thomas asked, taking off his hat in preparation on what’s to come.
“Well why, has Florian not told ya? He’s getting stationed elsewhere for a couple of months, perhaps even a year! Honestly, with how close ya two are, I expected him to tell you once in here!”
Florian brought his hands to his face, dragging them down as he accepted he was forced to speak about it now. The two looked over at Thomas, both in concern as they saw the horror on his face. His mouth was slightly open, seemingly taken away from reality. Florian waved his hand in front of Thomas face, calling his name. Hearing Florian’s voice didn’t even provide comfort, it sounded far, and drowned out in Thomas ears.
Once Thomas was able to come compose himself, the ends of his lips curled, his entire face tight as he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well, I was planning to! It’s just we had a small chat, you were happy, and I was going to come back later tonight before I go off–”
“You’re leaving tonight?” Thomas cut off, his smile seeming abnormally wide now.
Florian stuttered, his entire body seeming full of jitters. He let out a sigh, and he mumbled yes. He looked down at his feet, his heart beating faster inside his chest. Thomas placed back on his hat, stepping from behind the counter, his voice calm, normal. Despite this, Florian knew it wasn’t that. Florian knew, deep inside, he had hurt Thomas.
“Mayor, Florian, it was lovely to have you, but I do have a couple emergency orders I must attend to in a few minutes! In order to focus, I require utter silence and no disturbance, so have a good day!” Thomas finished, pushing them out the door. Florian tried to speak, but the door slammed in their face before further could be said.
The Mayor seemed in disbelief for a moment, before walking off. Florian and Thomas had stared at each other through the glass, Thomas being able to see tears swell and fall down Florian’s face as he seemed drained from life itself. Thomas locked the door before turning around, allowing his face to drop and quiver as he stepped away. He hadn’t looked up at the door for hours, and when he did, Florian was no longer there. It was late now, night creeping behind him. He was cleaning once again, exhausted from keeping his mind distracted. Now, what was he left to do? Be left alone with his mind?
He shook his head, attempting to think of anything to distract himself further. Pacing around, looking for things, he stumbled upon the letter. In his chaos, he had forgotten about it, about how he was planning to give it to him. He grabbed it as if it was a beloved pet, opening it up. His anger, it seemingly disappeared as he read, remembering why he wrote the letter, seeing what was inside. The hesitant in his writing, the erase marks as he attempted to figure out if it was too much, too little.
Dear Florian,
We have known each other for so long. I feel I have memorized how you walk, each crease in your face, each tooth I see when you walk in, all smiles as always. I have seen that smile of yours seep away, or become weak, even if it was just for a moment. You have seen me at my weakest, especially when it comes to this bakery of mine. I might seem foolish, selfish even, thinking all the stolen glances, the whispers we shared, as if we were stupid kids, were just for me.
If you asked me when I started feeling like this, I wouldn’t know. I feel as if one day, it just all came to me, like a distant dream at first, slowly becoming clearer with each night. I look at the sky, wishing that I could be next to you, or just be loved a little more by you. Even if it’s all platonic, and I’m viewing everything all wrong, how I’d still be smitten to just be with you, closer to you.
Thank you for indulging this letter. If everything's ruined, I apologize, I do.
Love,
Thomas Pudding
Why was Thomas crying? The tears stained the letter that he was now clutching, his hands shaking as he tried not to let go. He looked at the time, pondering for a moment if he was to late. Thomas ran to the door, nearly ripping it open before it could properly unlock it. He ran out, quickly navigating to Florian’s home, and banging on the door, through tears crying out his name. When there was no answer, not even a movement on the other end, he ran to city hall.
All the while, he screamed apologies to Florian in his head. How he was sorry for how he acted, sorry for making him cry. It hurts, he never meant to ever seem cold to the man, or hurt him. The tears Florian had shown him, he had no idea how much it could be a pain to be on the other end of those cries. He had reached city hall, seeing the mayor with a woman. He ran up to the mayor, clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breath, spewing words barely coherent. The mayor placed his hand on Thomas back, asking him to slow down.
“Has Florian left? Where is he?” Thomas asked, panic in his voice.
“He should be approaching the train station soon! His train is set to be there in what, fifteen minutes?”
“What’s the quickest way there?” Thomas was gasping, swallowing the saliva building up in his mouth from it hanging open.
The mayor pointed, giving directions, and Thomas ran off once more without being able to properly thank or say goodbye. Thomas counted the seconds, the closer the minutes got to the number fifteen, the more he picked up the pace. It had taken him nearly seven minutes to get there, and he took no time looking around, calling for Florian. In the distance, he had saw the familiar hat and blonde hair, pushing past everyone as he walked closer to Florian. He placed his hand on Florian’s shoulder, Florian turning towards Thomas.
“Thomas! What are you doing here I–”
“Quiet, for a moment!” Thomas interrupted, thrashing his body around as he tried to gain composure over himself. “Florian, I came to tell you something. I know earlier, I had acted out, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Florian dropped his bags, shushing Thomas as he placed his hands on Thomas round cheeks. “No Thomas, I hid this from you. You had every reason to act and speak like that.” Florian comforted him, running his thumbs over Thomas cheeks that were once again crying.
“But that’s not what I came to tell you!”
Florian in response tilted his head, asking, “What did you come to then? I won't hold it against you…” Thomas nearly collapsed, wrapping his arms around Florian, while he too quickly grabbed hold of Thomas.
“Florian, I had an entire letter written. I had every thought I could think at the moment down, ready to throw my heart at you, but it wasn’t real. Not like this moment, this is me throwing my heart at you. Even if you leave, we go our separate ways, I will still love you. I will still want you. You’re not a miracle, you’re not a hero! You’re Florian Brand, and I love you so much. I love you even when you’re not smiling, I love you even when you would just fall on my floor, and sleep because you’re so exhausted! I’d even love you if you were just some guy, a customer that came in, for at the end of it all, you’re still my best friend! The man I love most in life.”
Florian was speechless, his eyes widen as he repeated each word. He only knew one thing, how bad he wanted to kiss Thomas. He pulled Thomas up, closer to his face, their lips crashing together. Thomas face heated, but he didn’t hesitate to kiss Florian back. Thomas hands clutched Florian’s clothes, pulling him closer to his body as they engulfed each other. Their tongues placed in each other's mouths, pulling away for a moment before desperately, almost filled with greed, kissing each other again.
At the end of it all, Florian placed his head against Thomas, whispering to him, “I’ve loved you for so long.”
The train had pulled up behind them, announcing itself as with its horn. They looked over at it, before looking back at each other. A glint in Thomas eyes as if pleading with him. Florian kissed him once more, letting go of Thomas to grab his bags.
“Let's go home, Thomas. The world can live without me, but I can’t live without you.”