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When it came to emotions, Stoick would freely admit he lived too much up to his name whenever those sorts of reactions flared up.
Not to be mistaken that he felt nothing at all. He would be the first to say when he was having a grand time at a gathering, boast with pride at his accomplishments, let the rage of battle fuel his attacks, and content himself in the small day to day interactions in the village. Even sadness and grief were feelings he would not shy away from, as those normally appeared when the situation called for.
Simple, straight forward emotions that didn't require much effort when it came to their origin and meaning he could handle.
No, the emotions he tended to steer away from were those whose origins he couldn't or didn't want to place. Shame was a strong sentiment brought up when he realized how utterly he failed and knew could have been avoided had he been better. Fear tended to evade him, but when it struck it struck harder than a Rumblehorn's head helmeted with iron. Stoick even had nights where he would let the worries of the world bear down on his shoulders instead of fight them off, letting them plague his dreams and rob him of peace because he knew on some level he had to break a bit before he ended up shattered.
The best and worst emotions he always felt though, tended to be towards his love, Valka, and his son, Hiccup.
The former could only give him a look and Stoick would feel like nothing else in the world needed to be said. Her wide and gentle smile always melted away any tension he carried with him, even if he was only seconds away from taking an axe to someone's head. The little things she did, like organizing their home, brushing away the ash pile, and even her attempts at cooking never ceased to warm his heart.
However, Valka also had an uncanny ability to drive him completely mad, both the crazy and frustrating kind. If his heart wasn't nearly beating out of his chest as he saved her from a dragon that attempted to bite her head off despite her insistence that wasn't the situation at all (though the flashing of teeth and angry growls led more evidence to his side in those moments), then it was pounding in his ears during their arguments at night when she swore up and down the dragons didn't deserve to be killed just because they nipped a little food from their storehouses (which he was quick to point out was never just a nip and normally involved the village chopping down half a forest to repair the buildings that housed said food). While he once punched a Gronkle right in the snout on its beeline flight toward their low fish stocks, Valka secretly offered their best choices of dinner to Terrible Terrors that lingered out their backdoor for a week straight.
It was quickly remedied by giving the little beasts a taste of her actual cooking, and no dragon dared wander within ten meters of the house. Valka had given him the death glare for days afterwards, but Stoick secretly found the expression adorable.
When Hiccup was born, Stoick found himself often alternating between uncontrollable joy at the very tiny human he was tasked to care for and almost paranoia that the boy would be swept up by a breeze and never seen again. Given his son was born a runt and could barely move the small axe Gobber had gifted him while lying on the floor, it wasn't an unfounded terror at the time. Each little laugh, coo, beard grabbing, and even cries at night were Stoick's favorite things to witness as it told him his son was still a part of the world and didn't seem in any hurry to leave it.
Sometimes he did find himself frustrated whenever he compared his son's progress with the other village children. It was only expected when a Viking like him who had always stood a head taller than others (both literally and figuratively) with muscles and charism to match had contributed to an offspring barely strong enough to lift its head from a nap and would barely ease the appetite of a Terrible Terror. Not that he would EVER give the fire spouting devils a chance to try.
Hiccup had the power with just his mere presence to elate Stoick's mood nearly to the moon or want to jump in the coldest, stormiest ice waters to cool down his rage. But Stoick's own father had mentioned the same sentiments when Stoick was born and he had actually watched his father jump in a river when the two had an intense argument once. To this day and no matter how much Hiccup swears it's impossible, Stoick knew he saw steam rising from the spot his old man had jumped into.
When those two, Valka and Hiccup, were together however, Stoick could never shake the feeling that even though the picture looked right, there was something off with the subject matter.
Hiccup he couldn't point to as the main culprit. The lad was a baby after all who was content with being held, fed, and sleeping his time away. A bit of attention here, some tickling there, and an array of funny faces was all the boy needed at this stage in his life.
Valka, on the other hand, had an almost unnoticeable shift in her personality that Stoick probably wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't already so keened into his wife's non-Viking like behavior. Taking the side of the dragons in most cases would be an unforgivable offense to most people, but Stoick had long ago accepted that quirk about her ever since they were teens. Her lack of desire to run a blade through any animal, especially fire breathing ones, could be hand waved away so long as she defended the village from human invaders from time to time. Even her proclivity to bouts of deep silence didn't stick out too much since some villagers never said a word at all.
No, what Stoick noticed and never could decipher was how even when she held her son tenderly in her arms and spoke to him with the words a mother used, it never seemed her heart was in it. Not to say there was no love being offered. It just didn't seem to penetrate as deeply as he's seen other mothers do.
At first he chalked it up to a difficult pregnancy and delivery. The boy had been way too early and had nearly sent all three of them to Valhalla, woman and baby from the physical labor of it all and the man from the stress. Anyone would have found themselves taking several steps back as they contemplated their own mortality after bringing life into the world. But Valka's expressions as she roamed into her deep thoughts never pointed in that direction from Stoick's observations.
She took care of her baby's physical needs, bonded with him in traditional actions mothers often do, and smiled back at him whenever she was in his vision. As soon as Hiccup would turn away, though, Stoick would notice the smile diminish and her focus would shift to something else.
The only times Stoick ever saw her truly beam was when she was studying dragons. Small ones, big ones. Calm ones, aggressive ones. Baby ones, adult ones. Anytime one of the beasts crossed her attention, she was on them like a hawk. It didn't matter if Hiccup was reaching out for her attention or even if he was right in her arms, Valka's concentration was solely on the dragon.
Now Stoick was a very stubborn man who truly believed in the best in his wife, the love of his life. She had nearly died bringing his son, his pride and joy, into the world, so he owed it to her to not immediately think the worst. If she walked through Zippleback gas with their son squirming against her chest, then maybe she had counted the shot limit and deemed it the safest way out of danger. If a Deadly Nadder's spines got a bit too close to her body, then it must be because she had stepped away in the nick of time. If Hiccup was upset that he couldn't distract his mother's attention away from a group of Terrible Terrors playing around so he could feed, Stoick figured Valka had already provided what she could and was taking a moment to rest.
Stubbornness was a trait found in all Vikings, and Stoick had leagues of that and more to spare.
XXXXXXX
It wasn't until one night during a raid, thankfully far away enough that no one could ever have seen in passing, that he realized stubbornness was just his excuse for denial.
He had chased a dragon to the outskirts of the village. Tired muscles, singed beard, and a weapon missing half a blade did not slow him down a bit as he pursued the beast until it eventually took off. He was just about to turn back around and rejoin the fighting in the square when he heard the unmistakable sounds of his wife filtering through the trees. His wife who was supposed to be back at home with their son.
Worry and terror filled his core, and he didn't even register the sound was of her giggling in happiness and not cries of fear. He just knew his wife and possibly their baby son were out in the middle of a forest during a nightly dragon raid and his protective instincts took over.
He followed the sounds and would have jumped in the middle of the clearing with weapon raised had he not heard Valka say, "You are such cute babies."
The sentence made him freeze, for never had he heard her ever such words in such tenderness to their son. Yes, she spoke softly to him and would slip in the usual words and descriptions appropriate to describe children. But these words were so much more genuine and affectionate than anything he had heard from her in a long while.
Lowering his weapon, Stoick creeped around a group of trees and barely managed to contain his shock.
Kneeling down in the middle of a clearing was the slender figure of his beautiful wife. Her back was to him, but he could imagine the serene expression on her face as her soft hands glided over the bodies of tiny Monstrous Nightmares. The little goblins sputtered out quiet roars and grunts, one of them brave enough to slither under Valka's knees. The woman merely laughed, withdrawing one of her hands from the group to lavish attention on the one below her. "You are a brave, cheeky little one, aren't you?" The dragon puffed its chest out before sinking into the scratching hand under its chin. "Oh, you are so adorable."
Tearing his eyes away from the sight, Stoick realized Valka's back was bare. She didn't have the baby sling for either the back or front on her.
He was just about to believe Valka may have come out alone and nearly retreated away when a familiar, pitiful cry redrew his attention. 'Odin, please no…'
Sure enough, however, he saw the bundled form of Hiccup laying on the group meters from his mother. Who had her back fully turned to him and attention solely on the dragons at her feet. Even when his calls increased in volume and distress, Valka never seemed to acknowledge them.
Her attention was to the dragons, her son forgotten and out of sight.
Stoick was still trying to make sense of the scene in front of him when he caught movement on the other side of the clearing. Valka barely cast a side glance before returning back to her audience. The figure slowly slunk into the open and revealed itself to be a much more grown Nightmare.
It looked towards the human and young dragons, and Stoick got a hunch that the beast was the younger beasts' mother as its expression hardened at the human with their young. A warning growl escaped its mouth and it let out a quiet roar, which drew the attention of the dragon babies and Valka.
The woman just blinked owlishly at the newcomer, a grin spreading across her face. "Hello, you must be their mother. I must say, they are beautiful creatures."
Despite the compliment, the mother Nightmare continued to growl and was just about to lunge to attack when Hiccup's sharp whine drew her attention. The dragon immediately silenced itself as it refocused its attention on the small human far out of reach of the bigger human in the clearing and the hidden human it didn't know was there.
It slowly moved forward, casting a curious glance when Valka completely ignored it in favor of lavishing more attention on its young.
If Stoick was less of a Viking and given to deep contemplation, he would have sworn the Monstrous Nightmare wore a look of pity as it looked between Valka and Hiccup. When it stood over the baby, Hiccup let out an obvious cry of fear as he noticed the tall, imposing figure over him. What finally broke Stoick's resolve though, was Valka calmly stating, "Not now, Hiccup. Mama is busy."
Even if the dragon didn't understand a lick of Norse, Stoick could tell it understood Valka's tone as it shook its head towards her. If the beast was human, it probably would have humped in disapproval, gently grab his son, and then proceed to lecture Valka for hours on how unacceptable her behavior was.
But since it was a dragon, it just kept looking between the humans in confusion, as even it possessed some twinge of paternal instinct. An instinct that had clearly gotten crossed when it came to Valka.
A different set of instincts went off, however, as a high pitched squeal let out from the trees and the Monstrous Nightmare whipped around to face the commotion. The dragon's roar drowned out Hiccup's cries of fear and its tail nearly squashed the tiny Viking. Off to the side, the baby dragons also let out whines of distress, which Valka was quick to soothe as she repeatedly whispered, "It's okay, it's okay. Mama will take care of this."
If Stoick wasn't so preoccupied with leaping out from his hiding place, sweeping his son into his arms as the Monstrous Nightmare's tail thrashed around, and adopting a battle stance with his weapon and a baby in each hand, he probably would have screamed something quite unpleasant at Valka.
However, everyone's focus was on the two wild boars that bounded out of the forest. Both were nearly the height up to Stoick's waist and boasted the girth to match his as well. A pair of thick, sharp tusks protruded from the corners of each of their mouths, covered in dirt and sporting some flecks of red. One of them grunted in a volume to match the Nightmare's, while the other focused its attention on Valka and the smaller prey.
"Valka!" Stoick shouted over the noise as he carefully eased his way over to his wife while the animals locked eyes on each other. "We have to get out of here!"
The woman just shook her head. "No! We have to protect the dragons. The babies are defenseless!" As if in agreement, the baby Nightmares screeched in terror as the loud boar made a sudden run at them.
It was easily swatted off course by the adult Nightmare, who immediately had to slash against the quieter boar that had tried to use its friend as a distraction. It just barely managed to throw the thing across the clearing when the first one attempted another run while the Nightmare's back was turned.
Valka gathered the small dragons in her arms and braced herself for pain.
The pain never came, though. Instead, Stoick's war cry filled the air and he sliced his weapon down the boar's side. It cut deep and true and while the animal wailed out in hurt, he messily pulled back his weapon from the hide and gave the furry beast a strong kick where the cut was. The boar's cries as it flew through the air sharply instantly muted as it smacked against a thick boulder.
It casts a glance back at the Viking, towering over the other adult human with raging eyes, holding a dripping weapon, and a cold expression that would have stilled a group of Gronkles going after a rock quarry. In a blink, it hobbled to its feet and unsteadily ran off back into the forest.
The Nightmare and the first boar had been prepared to battle each other, but the sound and sight of boar number two retreating with its deep wounds had the first boar immediately giving up the fight as well. The group listened as the pair retreated loudly, branches and grunts growing fainter and fainter until all they could here was the whines of the young ones and the heavy breathing of the adults.
Slowly, the Monstrous Nightmare turned to the group and gestured towards it young with its head. Without wasting a second, the group squirmed out of Valka's arms and cheerfully bounced over to their mother. "I'm glad I got to meet you little ones. Take care of yourselves," she said, following them with her eyes fondly.
"Valka."
Remembering who she was with, the woman slowly turned to face the man who had saved her and her little audience. His face matched the emotionless, strained tone that he had spoken her name with. A name that she had never, ever heard be spoken in anything but love and fondness.
He didn't cast a single glance to the receding dragons. Didn't flinch an eyelid when the Monstrous Nightmare took off with its charges with powerful burst of its wings. Didn't even seem to care that there were several untreated cuts on his face and arms that were sluggishly bleeding from his earlier fights in the raid.
Stoick's expression complimented his name perfectly, and if it wasn't for the hurt look in his eyes as he stared at her, Valka would have sworn he had turned to stone. Neither of them said anything, the space between them filled with their child's cries which had not ceased since the Nightmare had nearly trampled over him.
After a few seconds, Valka finally lowered her head and mechanically reached out to her son and tucked him in her arms. She slowly rocked him, whispering, "There, there, my baby. It's alright now. The boars are gone. Everything will be fine."
Hiccup's cries slowly subsided until all that was left of his previous distress were the numerous tear marks running down his cheeks. There was still an expression of fright in his son's eyes and he jittered at every little sound the forest made. The boy's silence, however, did not soothe Stoick as well as it should have. Valka's comforts sounded halfhearted, even to him, with her attention traveling from the boy in her arms to the spot in the sky where she had seen the dragons fly off toward.
Eventually whether from genuine peace as the adrenaline died down or from sheer exhaustion, Hiccup closed his eyes and fell into an uneasy doze. With nothing to distract their attention now, the couple looked back to each other.
Not for the first time, Stoick found himself unable to decipher what was running through his wife's mind. She had retreated back to her thoughts and didn't seem in any hurry to leave them. It was an expression that was becoming too common for his liking, especially when their child and dragons were around.
How was it possible for him to love Valka with every fiber of his soul, but hate this part of her with a fiery passion?
Sighing, he turned his shoulder and gestured towards the village. Valka followed with a nod and the two fell into step beside each other.
After a while, with the clearing far to their backs and their home still quite a bit away, Stoick asked without turning to her. "Why were you out here, Val?"
Tilting her head, she responded, "I had noticed the mother a few times from the back of the house. Yesterday, I caught sight of the babies while they were playing near the tree line. I wanted to see them before they flew off to their main nest. I had not seen hatchlings so young before."
"And you thought the best time was late at night during a dragon raid?" Stoick had long mastered the ability to keep his tone even. It was a great skill to have as a Chief and one's subjects were Vikings who enjoyed being overly dramatic from time to time.
"I saw the chance, Stoick, so I took it."
"And you didn't think about the fact you had Hiccup with you during this nightly stroll as the village was being lit up by dragons?"
A quick glance out of the corner of his eye didn't reveal one way or the other what Valka was thinking either now or earlier. But her silence was answer enough.
Resisting the urge to rub his temple, Stoick kept going. "What if something happened to you two out here, Val? What if I wasn't here and those boars showed up? What if that Monstrous Nightmare had injured Hiccup fighting those boars? What if you had to choose between your son and the baby dragons? "
At the last question, Valka looked down at the boy in question. He remained still, eyes closed, tiny chest moving up and down in a shaky but not worrying fashion. Stoick had an inkling what her answer to his final question would be.
"It doesn't matter. You were there, and everything worked out alright." It was plain as day and two heads of a Zippleback response, but it still left him reeling at her admittance.
By now, the trio had made it to the village outskirts. The dragons had been dealt with, Vikings were running around putting out fires and wrangling any stray animal that had gotten loose or nearly carried off, and everyone was doing their best to lift up spirits. A few people waved at them, prompting an announcement that the Chief was still around, followed immediately by the slinging of small bags as bets were being called in.
Without a word, husband and wife with child split. The former to tend to the people, the latter to tend to her thoughts. No one questioned where the two had been or what had seemed to gotten tangled in Stoick's beard.
The simple fact was they pushed back the dragons, saved a good amount of food, and no one had died during this raid. The only thing to feel was jubilation at a fight well fought, accomplishment at keeping what was theirs, and merriment that friends and loved ones were still around.
Stoick wondered throughout all of that night how some people could operate on such a simple level, while he was left in a constant loop.
He would never be able to look at Valka the same way again. Now he still loved the woman and wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone. But he also loved his son, Hiccup, who needed his parents to protect him from the world's dangers. Dangers that included fire breathing reptiles with teeth, talons, horns, spikes, venom, and whatever other nasty surprise they kept in their scales.
Dangers that were unacknowledged by Valka because she didn't see dragons as dangers at all. No matter how big, ferocious, armed, or animalistic they were. Valka would sooner walk up and hug the snout of a Monstrous Nightmare in full blaze rather than keep Hiccup in one arm if dragons were around.
Never would Stoick had considered the greatest danger to Hiccup's safety was the boy's mother. And the realization had keep him off balance ever since.
XXXXXXX
The morning after the clearing incident, the trio descended back to their little routine. Stoick had headed out that morning to complete inspections, provide better advice and supervision, and just clear his head. No one suspected what thoughts and emotions he was dealing with, which suited the man just fine.
When he passed through his front door that evening, stressed but relatively calm, he allowed himself a small smile as he noticed Valka rocking in her chair beside his own. Hiccup lay sleeping on said chair, furs and blankets tucked around him for comfort and safety. Valka was humming out loud as she worked on something in her hands, her voice filling the house with peace that were accompanied by Hiccup's soft breathes. Stoick could have stared at the moment forever.
However, his brightening mood doomed a smidge when Valka looked up and presented her project. "What do you think, Stoick?"
In her hand rested a clump of blue fabric arranged and stitched into a shape resembling a dragon. One with a pronounced snout, button eyes, and various tan shaded fabric running down its back. The beginnings of a tail and four chubby legs poked out from the body and was currently held by loose stitching.
"It looks like a dragon, to me."
A large grin stretched across Valka's face. She lowered the thing down and said, "Good, I was hoping I could get the general shape down. Hopefully this will help."
"Help with what?" Worry found its way to Stoick's gut.
Valka's excitement dimmed a bit as she stared at her husband, giving off the sense the answer should have been obvious. "Help Hiccup calm down, of course. I noticed the boy was scared at almost every dragon image we have in this house today. I figured a soft, handheld toy of a dragon will alleviate his fears."
With a loud sigh, Stoick just shook his head but didn't attempt to press or argue with her point. He could come up with a list of all the reasons Hiccup would be terrified of dragons at this age, but there wasn't enough paper in the village right now to contain it all.
Instead, he just stated, "Well, I can't wait to see how it all turns out" before helping himself to dinner and diving into their evening routine.
Given her zeal for the project and the lack of dragon sightings and raids that could have distracted her, Valka was finished with the stuffed toy within a few days. And honestly, it was quite an adorable little plushy.
Light blue fabric, stubby legs and head, and well stitched spikes along its spine and the back of its head was quite a contrast to how Stoick usually saw the beasts. The tiny wings on the body moved a bit when Valka lifted it to his sight and mimicked a quiet roar. Stoick locked his eyes onto button ones and gave a hearty laugh. "Quite impressive, Val. I'm sure Hiccup will love it."
"Oh, I hope so," she whispered, tone too neutral for him to figure out what she was thinking.
But he pushed the feeling aside as he carefully picked up the slowly waking baby and maneuvered him in his hand. Making sure the boy was settled and properly supported, the pair waited as their son slowly opened his eyes and joined them.
As he become more aware of himself, Stoick spoke to him. "Aye, Hiccup, your mom has something special she made for ya. I'm sure you'll love it."
Valka fidgeted with excitement as she presented the gift to the boy. She made sure the angle displayed the toy's rounded, gentle features and made one of the legs 'wave' at him. Tenderly, she whispered, "Look, Hiccup, it's a tiny dragon. Small and harmless, just like you and other types of dragons."
Stoick nearly bit his tongue off to keep himself from saying anything at the last part. Now wasn't the time. Maybe later, when it would just be the two of them.
Hiccup stared wide eyed at the toy and tracked its movements like a deer facing against a wolf.
Valka just continued on. "I know it doesn't look like a proper dragon, but this is the best I can do. Although, maybe a dragon like this does exist out there. Maybe when you're older, you and I can go look for it together. And your father can tag along, if he's not too busy Chiefing."
The dragon toy moved towards Hiccup as Valka smiled on.
And the semi-peace of the moment was shattered with an ear piercing cry from Hiccup and wild thrashing as he attempted to retreat from the handmade toy.
Stoick quickly brought his hand closer to his chest to stabilize the boy so he didn't go crashing on the floor. Once the baby felt the strong chest and rough beard against his face, he immediately dug his scrunched up face into the hair fibers.
As Stoick clumsily bounced the squirming boy against his torso and repeatedly whispered, "It's okay. You're okay, son," Valka stared in paralyzed shock. As if a venomous snake had grown twenty Vikings long and had bitten her down to the bone.
Only when Hiccup's cries quieted to chocked breath hitches did Stoick dare to look to Valka.
She still had the dragon toy held out in offering, which still appeared comically benign to elicit such a vigorous reaction from her son. The head was drooped over her fingers as the digits clutched against the fabric in a tight grip. It was the look of betrayal and coldness that shone on her face that had Stoick concerned though.
For a moment, it looked like his gentle wife would fly off the handle in rage. All against their son.
"Val." Stoick did his best to keep his tone neutral and mentally thanked the norms as Hiccup quieted himself fully down. He felt like he was having to calm down a wild beast that was prepared to lash out at any wrong movement. A feeling he hating projecting towards his wife. "Valka, just take a moment. He's young and doesn't know any better. Let him be for a bit."
Much slower than he preferred, Valka's expression loosened as she took in several deep breathes and retracted the toy to her lap. She still clutched the item in her hand as her eyes softened to a more neutral appearance. There was still a hint of emotion in her eyes that Stoick didn't want to name.
Instead, he said, "It's late. I'll put him to bed and maybe he'll be better tomorrow."
Valka didn't say another word that night, the dragon plushy seeming to watch the pair of them through button eyes the whole time.
XXXXXXX
Unfortunately for the Haddock household, the next day wasn't any better and neither was rest of that week.
The one easy thing about Hiccup was he tended to tire easily and sleep soundly. It frightened the new parents at first, and it took them a while to cease continually checking the boy's chest and pulse to make sure he hadn't slipped away to Helheim. The midwife had sworn it was normal for babies to sleep so much during their first few months and given how early their boy was, it was to be expected he would sleep a lot more to gain strength.
However, the boy hardly slept for more than a couple of hours at a time and the slumber he did get was a restless sort. They no longer let him doze wherever he ended up laying in that moment as there were a few occasions he nearly rolled off the furniture. He ended up being confined to his cradle or in the arms of one of his parents, the latter which helped a bit with the agitation but only barely.
Valka took to wearing slings a lot more so her hands could be free as she went about her tasks. When she was asked about the change by the other women in the village, who had always wondered why their friend never used the garment as much as they did, Valka truthfully answered, "He's had trouble sleeping lately. It's better when he's being held by Stoick or me."
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, discussing their own issues with their children's sleep patterns and joking she and Stoick just had a grace period to make up for Hiccup's difficult birth. They offered plenty of advice, home remedies, and one mother even gave Valka a herb mix that would calm children and ease them to sleep.
She brewed a small cup that night and while it did calm Hiccup down, Stoick wasn't too comfortable with how sluggishly his breathes came out and Valka agreed. Admittedly, it did wonders for the two adults that evening, though they agreed only occasionally would they brew the mix again in case they needed to be alert during the night.
During that time, neither Stoick nor Valka mentioned the dragon toy that she had stashed away and was inarguably the cause of the whole thing in the first place.
Fortunately as the week passed on, Hiccup settled back to his original sleep routine with an occasional lapse here and there. The other women of the village eagerly asked her which of their methods worked the best, with the Thornston woman lamenting her twins seemed to actively sabotage all of her attempts at getting some peace and quiet. This caused the conversation to be steered toward her woes and Valka happily let the attention slip away from her.
XXXXXXX
One morning, Stoick announced he wanted to go out on a fishing trip with the family and Gobber. Citing his recent time away from his friend, the relative silence from the dragons, and because he knew how much Valka would appreciate the open water. The woman didn't hesitate to start packing a bag before he even finished his sentence.
With a basket of fishing supplies and food under each of Stoick's arms, he and Valka strolled down to the docks where Gobber was waiting. A satchel was slung across the woman's body and Hiccup giggled in her arms at everything they passed by.
The amputee smiled as the trio approached the modest boat, pointing a hook to the tiny human. "Ah, there's the little goblin. Heard you've been giving your parents a rough week."
"Aye, that's what babies do, Gobber," Stoick stated as he threw his load down and did some last minute work on their vessel. "Annoy their parents until they go crazy, and then act like they didn't do a thing."
"Oh, I'm sure Hiccup knows a bit more than he lets on," Valka said, bouncing the boy a bit. "He's a smart lad that I'm sure will see things my way one day."
Gobber merely shrugged and helped Valka get into the boat. "Hope he's smart enough not to scare any fish away with his cries. I may end up using him as bait."
The blonde Viking pushed the boat off the dock at Stoick's signal while the other man teased, "You try that, Gobber, and I'll coat ya in fish slime and hang ya by your good leg during the next raid. Maybe that dragon you keep yappin' on about is still hungry."
The men laughed as they sailed out, Valka staring at them in disapproval while she absentmindedly traced over her satchel.
Over the next few hours, Stoick and Gobber caught up with each other in their respective spheres as they and, occasionally Valka, threw out their lines into the sea. A lot of their casts ended up with something at the other end. They released the smaller ones so they could continue to grow and possibly be caught in the future, and a few good ones were also spared since it was approaching spawning season for the species.
While the pair of guys dominated most of the conversation, Valka occasionally threw her own commentary and jokes in the mix which would spark a new trail of discussion for everyone involved. Their laughter rang out over the boat that would have probably reached a Scauldron, despite Gobber's earlier teasing about Hiccup being a possible loud distraction.
For his part, Hiccup just lay against his mother in the sling and cast curious eyes over them. The sun was out, skies clear, and there wasn't as harsh a cold nip in the air as usual. The wind calmly swept over the water and boat, giving the vessel a soothing rocking motion that would have put even the fussiest child to sleep. But even babies can only handle so much sleep, so he had spent his waking moments enjoying the motion, weather, and company of his parents and their loud friend.
As the sun beat down on them from overhead, Gobber set his rod to the side and stretched out his remaining limbs. After a pop or two, he let out a content sigh when he glanced at their catch so far. "I hate to ruin a good streak, but the fish ain't the only ones needing a good feeding. Since the boat hasn't sunk yet and I don't smell anything burnt, I'm assuming we have the Great Hall to thank for our lunch?"
"My cooking isn't that terrible, Gobber," Valka teased, carefully pulling her own line in and shifting to the food basket. "I managed to successfully boil some vegetables last time I cooked dinner."
"Is that the same time ya dropped the yak leg in the fire and burned it so badly it ended up harder than a Jorgenson bludgeon?"
The women didn't respond, but her reddening face was not the result of the sun or salty air.
Gobber's laughter rang through the air as Stoick, who had been focused on the sensation of movement near his line, flicked his wrist and plopped another solid catch on the deck. The friend let out an impressed whistle.
Their empty hands were filled with bread and meat that Valka presented to them, and the group relaxed as they ate lunch. Valka was the first to finish while her husband and friend continued chatting about some village task through their chewing.
She unwrapped Hiccup from the sling and carefully balanced him on her lap, carefully leaning him against her stomach for support. This afforded him a view of the other two adults and held his attention while Valka reached into her satchel. Neither from the pair noticed her and Hiccup.
Valka smiled as she felt the familiar material and clasped her hands around the object. She leaned down to Hiccup and told him, "Okay, Hiccup, I think now is a good time to try again."
The boy barely had a moment to look towards his mom when she pulled her hand out of the bag and presented him a blue item. A blue item he recognized going by the sudden freeze in his posture.
Softly running her hand down his arm, Valka eased the dragon toy to him. "It's okay, little one. I know you didn't much care for this the first time, but I promise you this dragon, like every other one that exist, isn't going to hurt you."
Despite her gentle words and the calm atmosphere, Hiccup whined as the plushy was pushed towards him. The sound caught the ears of the other occupants of the boat and they snapped their heads around to see what was happening.
Gobber just chuckled at the sight, stating, "Well, it looks like ya do have some home skills. And here I was thinking Stoick had to completely fend for himself in his own home."
Stoick, on the other hand, gave his wife a sharp look. "Valka, what are you doing?"
"Giving Hiccup his gift, of course." She took one of Hiccup's arms in her other hand and forced him to reach out for the item in question. "He was pretty tired last time we tried, so maybe now will be a better time." The continued squirming and whines heavily implied it was not a better time in the boy's eyes.
Valka ignored her son's movements and managed to place the dragon doll on his arm. She wrapped her arm around his other one and made the boy close both around the plushy and push it against his chest. The action escalated Hiccup's whining to screaming as he tried pushing the toy away from him, but his mom's bracing arms kept it in place.
Flickering his gaze between the two, Stoick leaned forward. "Val, stop that. He obviously doesn't want it right now. Put that thing away."
The woman merely gritted her teeth as she fought the baby in her arms. "He'll have to learn to at least tolerate dragons someday, Stoick. This is the best way for him to learn they aren't terrible creatures. Now help me keep him still."
"Let go of that blasted thing first."
Gobber looked between the Haddocks, wishing he was anywhere else but on a boat out in the middle of the sea with the feuding family. For once, he didn't even try to say anything to diffuse the situation.
In the meantime, the couple just kept arguing back and forth.
"My son shouldn't be scared of dragons. He needs to get over it."
"He's a baby, Valka, and dragons are large, scary beasts. Of course he's going to be frightened of them."
"They're only frightening because they have to constantly fight against humans who won't give them a chance. If we stop trying to kill them, they wouldn't hurt us!"
"Oh, would they? Then tell that to everyone in the village who's lost limbs and loved ones to those demons!"
"Those dragons lost loved ones, too! They deserve our compassion!"
"They're dragons, Valka! Why can't you see simple reason?"
"Why can't you see things my way?! Dragons have emotions and lives just like us!"
"They constantly endanger our lives, and the lives of our young!"
"Dragons have young, too! Every dragon is some other dragon's child!"
"How about you focus on your own child instead of some monster's spawn?!"
"No child of mine would ever think of hurting a dragon like you want him to be! Nor would he be scared by them if you would just let me show him the truth about them!"
"Oh the truth about them?! Like the truth about how you nearly got him killed last time?!"
"Don't bring what happened in the clearing up! I know what I was doing and that Nightmare never would have hurt him! Besides, everything turned out just fine!"
"Only because I was there and not mothering on those fire breathing devils! When those boars came out, you protected those dragons over your own son!"
'Oh, boy,' Gobber thought as he watched them get progressively harsher. He cast a sympathetic look to the young lab who sounded like he was nearly going hoarse.
"I was watching, he would have been fine!"
"You had your back completely turned to him, Val! That Nightmare showed more emotion than you in that moment!"
"Ah, so you admit I'm right that dragons have complex emotions, then!"
"That's not the point and you know it! What YOU should admit is that you value those blasted dragons over your own son!"
"And what if I do, Stoick?"
The man draw back at her words, gaping at his wife like the numerous fish they had piled in their basket. Valka, in contrast, glared back at him icily and didn't notice her arms loosening around the baby.
"What if I do prefer dragons over humans? Over my own son even?" she spat out. "Why should I be content to sit back and watch you and the village fill his head with lies and make him hate dragons? What makes Hiccup YOUR son over being MY son?"
Having recovered from his earlier shock, Stoick matched Valka's glare with his own, stating steely. "Because I never turned my back on him like you did. In that clearing. In the raids when you put him in danger. When he was born and you took one look at him and said 'he won't last the night.' I would do anything to protect him because he means all of Midgard to me.'
"Can you say the same?"
Once again, Stoick was struck back by immediate silence from her. In fact, Valka seemed to find her own answer to a question she must have long been considered during that same silence.
The staring contest was broken as Hiccup, final able to escape the brace of Valka's arms, let out a cry and with surprising strength tossed the toy over the boat.
"No!" Valka shouted and pushed Hiccup forward off her lap.
In a blink, Stoick cupped his son in his hands and immediately retracted the terrified youth to himself. He lightly patted his back and willed his heartbeat to slow down so it could help Hiccup calm down.
Valka threw herself over the side and reached out towards the toy as it bobbed in the water. "No, no! Come on!" she called to it. Her fingers were inches too short from snatching it as the waves carried it in the opposite direction from the boat.
A moment later, the dragon plushy passed over a current and floated away further out to sea. The blue fabric soaked through with seawater, the hue blending in enough to become indistinguishable from the waves.
For several long minutes, Valka just stared in the direction it had gone. Silent as she processed what had happened.
Stoick cast an uneasy eye towards her. Gobber quietly pushed the redhead back a bit and carefully approached the woman. Even Hiccup had gone quiet now that the source of his fear was out of sight and there was no more shouting going on near his sensitive ears.
Three hook spaces away, Gobber started, "Valka, are you-"
"Take us home, Gobber," she cut him off, not looking at any of them.
Without another word, the two men quickly pulled all of their equipment in and set sail for Berk. Gobber took over the main load while Stoick did what he could with one arm.
Valka never said a word or spared a glance to them the whole way back.
XXXXXXX
To say things were tense in the Haddock household after that would be putting it mildly.
Neither Stoick nor Valka knew how to approach the wooly yak in the room. It was one thing to argue about the treatment of dragons and present their cases to each other respectfully, it was quite another for one partner to admit they would pick said dragons over their own flesh and blood. Stoick didn't even know how to approach a subject like that. His family might have been a bit hands off in the comfort and feeling aspects while growing up, but there was undoubtedly bonds there that couldn't be severed with a sword sharpened so fine it could slice a Gronkle clear down the middle.
That same bond of love had extended to Valka. Even with her strange, stubborn ways that left Stoick's parents wondering if the boy had hit his head too many times growing up. No one could deny he loved her, and she had shown to feel the same.
Another bond of love had formed as soon as Valka revealed they were going to have a baby. Even before Stoick knew what the child would be, he already knew he loved them. Watching his wife's difficult pregnancy and the fight both mother and child endured during her labor and unable to help was a feeling he hoped to never experience again. Staying back as those he loved suffered greatly was not his way.
Once Hiccup had been placed in his hand, that vow seeped into his bones and there was no way he could ever let something happen to his boy.
Whether Valka had ever felt that way, he did not want to speculate. Whatever she believed, thought, or felt was her own business and she made her own choices. And those choices revolved around the dragons she could barely get close to.
Not for like of trying, though.
Later that night from the fishing trip, a light dragon raid swooped down on Berk. Stoick had leapt into battle, driving the beasts off with such fury that most of the dragons didn't dare attempt multiple attacks. The other villagers had cheered him on and no one save Gobber knew what had fueled him that night.
Walking back home from his success, he wasn't surprised to see Valka near the back of the house. Her eyes gazed at a juvenile Gronkle that had spotted a rock pile from above and decided a snack was better than dodging axes that night. She would take a step or so towards the dragon every few minutes with an excited twinkle in her face.
That excitement quickly turned to annoyance when Stoick let out a yell and threw a small axe toward the dragon. The Gronkle didn't waste any time in hovering away, growling in fear of its life.
"That was completely unnecessary," Valka complained, pulling herself up and heading back inside with Stoick following at her heels.
Soft cries reached his ears as soon as the door opened, only adding to his frustration and annoyance at the situation. Not at the baby, who was reacting only in the way he knew how, but at the grown woman who definitely knew better. Said woman did lower her shoulders in worry and head toward the noise, so Stoick just sighed and closed the door.
Like last time, the new few days and nights were filled with tense silences and a crying baby.
XXXXXXX
While those types of nights stuck in his memories, none of them could ever compare to the night everything changed for the three of them.
Ironically, the day started off well.
Neither approached the other in open apology, as both of them felt their side was ultimately right and the other was just too stubborn to see reason. Instead, they did little things like patting the other's hand, offering a snack or drink, giving complements no matter how benign, and actually looked at each other with the ease they used to share. It was the closest they got to acknowledging something was wrong and would try to work it all out.
When it was time for Stoick to head out for his daily chiefing, Valka had gently grabbed his arm as he left, rose to her toes, and gave him a soft peck on the cheek. The man had looked down at her, gave her the warmest smile he could muster, and returned one on top of her head.
The pair stood in silence for a long moment. Finally, Valka looked down and said, "Be back in time for dinner. Ingerman promised she slip me a batch of her crab cakes before her parents arrived for dinner at their place tonight."
"Aye, I'll try. Take it easy, Val."
Those were the last moments they ever shared together.
They day passed in usual fashion and the sun was barely grazing the horizon later that evening when calls of 'Dragons!' rang out across the village. His promise to return for dinner broken as a huge flock of dragons descended on Berk and began their normal path of thieving and destruction.
Stoick's battle rage had cooled considerably over the last few days, which gave him a clearer head to observe and attack the flying invaders. That worked well for him, and terribly for the dragons.
One moment he fought off four Nadders going after their fish stores. The next he was wrestling against four heads from a pair of Zipplebacks. In one blink he had to kick an empty apple cart against the side of a Gronkle to keep it from knocking over a fire pillar. He found himself constantly battling against and with someone different every time he turned around. Once or twice he had to physically push his fighting partner to the ground to avoid getting their heads bitten off by Nightmares. Any type of weapon or object that could be used as once must have passed through his hands at least thrice, never the same one.
At some point, he had made it to the higher ground of the village and was able to assess the battlefield. There were definitely a lot more dragons in this raid, and a few more species than what he was used to seeing. The new comers gave the Vikings a run for their gold at first, but eventually his warriors were able to figure those out and slowly the dragons were being pushed back.
He was about to jump into a group currently waving Terrible Terrors away (those little devils caused a lot of trouble when they were in a large flock), when he heard an unfamiliar dragon call.
Stoick turned around in time to see a large form slip into a hole in his house that for sure wasn't there before. As it disappeared from view, he caught sight of his wife running to the house, shouting something he couldn't make out.
Stoick shouted to the nearest warriors, "Keep fighting! A dragon is in my house!" and without looking at their nodding heads, broke out into a run.
Time moved agonizingly swift and his legs moved painfully flow. Each step taunted him with the fact he wasn't with his family yet, his thoughts seeping with dread at what he would find once he got there. Valka could handle her own well enough. But could she fight and protect Hiccup on her own? Would she even try since her foe was a dragon?
Would she even notice if the dragon posed a danger to Hiccup?
No matter how hard he tried, the man couldn't shake the feeling of panic at the possibility of his wife's madness leading to someone's hurt, or even death. He felt guilty at the mere thought of thinking Valka capable of such a thing, but there was too much that had happened in recent months to completely sweep the idea away.
Her silence to his questions were worse than any words she could say.
However, all of those complicated emotions got tucked away as he ran up the steps and rushed through the open door. Hiccup's cries and the sight of his wife pinned against a pillar as a large dragon slithered to her face were the only things he registered in that moment.
He snatched a nearby axe and with a loud cry, slung it between the pair.
The demon let out an ear splitting roar as Stoick ran around the beast, shouting, "Valka, run!"
Suddenly, the air grew warm as the dragon spat fire towards his retreating form. He could make out his wife begging, "No, don't!" Whether it was directed toward him or dragon was of little concern to him in that moment as the flames increased in intensity.
Looking between his wife's frozen form against the dragon and Hiccup screaming in his cradle, he shouted, "Hold on!"
Flipping through the flames and grabbing hold of his son, he spun around to the sound of his wife's protest in time to see her being carried off in the talons of the retreating dragon. "Stoick!" she cried out as the beast cleared the flames and took off with the rest of the flock.
"Valka!" he screamed after her, watching her form struggling in the air.
Even as he ran forward a few steps, the fading echoes of his name from her made it clear that there was nothing he could do.
"Valka…" he whispered as she disappeared in the night, form surrounded by countless dragons he had never seen and wouldn't see for many years to come.
In his hand, Hiccup's cries ceased as his gaze also focused on the spot where his mother and the dragons had gone. Lip and body trembling while the fire blazed on.
Slowly, he made his way out of the building and nearly stumbled on the first step. Some of the villagers caught sight of him and the house, rushing over with questions about what had happened and throwing buckets of water on the structure. Their words hardly registered in his mind as he brought his arm holding Hiccup near his chest and processed the events.
A couple of men carefully sat him on the grass when they noticed his legs wobbling and his attention becoming glazed. As the group around him began shouting orders amongst themselves and split off, a tiny voice in his mind berated him for not taking up his chiefly duty. Sitting by when there were fires to put out, infrastructure to inspect, and troops to speak with was not what he should be doing right now.
The rest of his voices overpowered that one as he replayed the last minutes over and over. A dragon had broken into their home. Valka had seen it and ran inside. She was corned in their own home. Hiccup was crying. The dragon had burned their home.
The dragon had taken Valka, his sweet, stubborn, aggravating wife. The dragon took his wife, who had sworn up and down the beasts would never hurt her or their baby. His wife was gone. Carried off in the claws of a creature she stood up for against the villagers. Against him. She had adored those creatures, even more than her own family most times.
And she was repaid by being snatched up by said creatures and taken far, far away from her home and loved ones. Never to be seen again, as dragons only haul off food during these raids.
"Oh, Val," Stoick muttered, shifting his focus to Hiccup. The boy looked up at him with wide green eyes, and only then did the man notice a cut sluggishly bleeding on the boy's chin. He absentmindedly wiped a bit of it away with his finger. "Why couldn't you see? Dragons can't change."
Stoick closed his eyes and let grief began taking a hold of him. In the midst of that grief was an emotion he would never admit to feeling in this life. A sensation he would take to his grave rather than name out loud. For while his loved Valka dearly, he also loved Hiccup and his people as well. And that love is what drove him to protect, care, and help.
Valka's love was the dragons, who terrified and hurt those he loved. Including Hiccup, who Valka never seemed to love as much as her dragons. If it came to a choice to protect Hiccup or a dragon, the choice was painfully obvious to Stoick. In that clearing, she had made known who she valued more and it was Stoick whose choice that night saved the one he valued.
Stoick wasn't sure what grieved him the most: the loss of his wife this night to the creatures she loved or the immense relief in knowing Hiccup would never know he wasn't his mother's first choice.
XXXXXXX
When it came to emotions, Stoick liked to think he was getting better at understanding and processing them.
The simple emotions were still the easiest to deal with, but the complicated ones no longer sent him into a mental lockdown trying to process what was happening. Most of the time. Especially when it came to Hiccup, but what did he expect from a member of the Haddock line?
It took years of trials, tears, shouts, near heart attacks, dragons, and a spoon on one memorable occasion for Stoick and Hiccup to finally find an ease with each other that hadn't been present since the boy's early youth. The two could casually chat on village affairs and dragon problems without (always) talking past each other. Discuss the interesting and mundane parts about their day together over dinner. Offer advice when the other asked for it, or were confident enough to offer it anyway.
Even jokes and slight teasing became second nature to them. Stoick had found himself adopting a bit of Hiccup's sarcasm, which worked wonders in silencing unruly citizens who needed all their attention focused on figuring out if the Chief was being serious or not. Whenever the son let out a little quip, the father was quick to come back with one of his own. That always spurred the youth on which made the older man more committed to keeping at it.
Their relationship wasn't like the one Stoick had with his father. The two of them had practically developed a new language based on sparring and shows of strength by the time the Chief was in his teens. Pats on the shoulder, handshakes, and half-hearted insults of one's ability were the moments Stoick treasured as those were the ways his father had shown he cared and observed.
Hiccup definitely was not Stoick when he was that age, and that just made the development with him all the more special because it was something only the two of them could come up with. It was probably long overdue and probably not what most outsiders would expect when they observed the pair together, but it was their way of showing respect, trust, and love to each other.
Which is why Stoick never knew when, or even if, he should tell Hiccup the truth about his mother.
The Chief had long ago settled his grief after painful nights crying alone, screaming in rage away from the village, venting to Gobber in the privacy of the forge, and fruitless journeys seeking any sort of remains of Valka for closure. Despite the ache in his heart, there was a son to raise and a village to look after that forced him to accept that she was gone.
Aside from a few possessions that survived the fire that night and the stories from the villagers, Valka Haddock's presence in their lives was very minimal. Of course, Hiccup had naturally asked about his lack of a mother when he was old enough and had seen the other kids with theirs. Simple questions about who she was and what she looked like were easy enough to answer.
Whenever the lad's inquiries turned to what she would think of him, however, Stoick often find himself stretching the truth out. He told his son that his mother cared about him, watched over him when he was at his weakest, and wanted the best for him. They were simple platitudes in the ears of an adult, but they were precious to a child like Hiccup who needed to hear them anyway.
As the boy grew, it was probably those words put in the mouth of a vital and dead parent that helped him through his struggles with his estranged and living one. Stoick's emotions had developed to where he could discern the irony in realizing the parent Hiccup thought would help him the most may not have lived up to the image. Speaking ill of the dead never boded well for anyone and Hiccup didn't deserve the emotional hurt that may have festered had Stoick revealed the whole story to his child.
That struggle inside him was probably why he had pushed Hiccup so hard in becoming a proper Viking as the boy grew. He wanted his son to be able to protect himself since Stoick knew he couldn't be there for him all the time, and the boy's mother wouldn't have done so for him even if she were still around. It could have also explained his reaction when Hiccup tossed aside his weapon and shield against the Monstrous Nightmare. Stating he wasn't like the other Vikings.
Valka had also set her arms aside and lowered her guard when dragons came around. Claiming she was different from the rest of the Vikings on Berk in the hopes she could reach them. And the result of that was a father and son missing that female figure who helped tie a family together.
Stoick vowed in the days following Hiccup's recovery to never live those next few hours of his life down. His focus on the past kept him seeing the worst parts of Valka in Hiccup, and he had projected those long buried emotions of frustration and rage onto his son. Who didn't know the origin of such vitriol the Chief harbored toward the idea of peace with dragons.
It took the boy almost following after her in an inferno of fire and smoke on the back of a dragon who cared deeply about him for Stoick to realize his mistake. His son had learned how to protect himself in a world that always threw the worst at him. And fortunately, he no longer had to protect himself alone as his bond with Toothless, humans, and dragons grew.
Hiccup had become a young man with good self-confidence, a dragon as his other half, a young woman that would soon be his better half, loyal friends, respect from the village and dragons who lived there, and a bright future on his horizon.
Stoick often debated with himself whether telling Hiccup the truth about what Valka was like in those final months and what she said were worth bringing up. The past had long been sent off in a flaming boat, peace had come upon their home, and there was no point in bringing up family secrets only he and Gobber were privy to. Explaining that Valka's love of the dragons eventually led to her snatching and certain death wouldn't faze a boy who jumped off the back of one for pure fun. Telling Hiccup the doll he looked on in fondness had caused an argument among the family was cruel. And admitting a mother would rather protect fire breathing dragons over her infant son would probably send the boy down an emotional tumble.
So, Stoick kept those secrets locked away and focused on the present with his lively Viking son and a scaly creature that alternated between complicit brother and exasperated nursemaid.
XXXXXXX
Now, talking with Hiccup at the Dragon Sanctuary where he had held and kissed his long-thought dead wife, the man wished he had better prepared the both of them for the conundrum that was Valka.
The small group of humans and their dragon companions gathered in the main room of the cavern Valka had carved out as her own space. Gobber was happily nagging that Valka's cooking at upgraded from 'lethal' to 'mildly painful' and causing the woman to laugh like she was a young woman again. The beast- dragon that had taken Valka, Cloudjumper, was staring down at Toothless as the Night Fury warbled and coed at Skullcrusher and Grump in recalling the last few days between him and his rider.
Once Stoick got over the initial shock and joy at seeing his beloved again, he immediately picked up that Hiccup appeared quite morose for someone who just found their long lost mother. One look as Valka walked past Hiccup and Toothless, seeing her gaze linger more on the dragon than the human, was enough for Stoick to realize the boy must have started seeing the pieces of an unpleasant image coming together.
With Gobber distracting Valka and the dragons busy with their own group, Stoick didn't waste a second in pulling Hiccup away so they were out of earshot but still within the area the woman called home. The fact Hiccup didn't protest at all set off more warning horns in his head.
Stoick let out a long sigh and watched Hiccup lean against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and head pointed down. Normally, the older man would wait for the younger's cue as the youth felt more comfortable with conversations he started and Stoick was not always great with starting them. But the drawn out silence coupled with the faraway look in Hiccup's eyes signaled he would have to take the lead on this one.
"Hiccup, son," Stoick muttered, eliciting a tilt of the head from Hiccup. The boy's way of showing he was listening and he didn't want to speak at the moment. "I know this is not exactly what you imagined your mother would be like. And I can't say how much she's changed yet since we've only just reunited. 20 years is a long time to be away from someone, especially someone you love."
"She sure hasn't acted like she's missed someone for that long," Hiccup stated calmly, still not meeting his father's gaze. His fingers dug into the leather on his arms. Stoick pretended his didn't notice.
"Aye, she's always had a strange way of dealing with her emotions. I often found myself unsure what she thought at times. It had caused quite a few arguments back then." Especially towards the end, when she made her views and feelings quick clear. "Her stubbornness was also impressive. Could match mine in intensity when we both were having at it with each other."
A small twitch of a smile flickered across Hiccup's face, before immediately returning to its somber expression. "Dad, tell me honestly, please, what was mom really like? ... And what would she think of me?"
Here, in this moment, Stoick let all the waves of his different sentiments for Valka sweep through him. The positive and negative ones, simple and complicated, passive and passionate. All the stuff he had pushed back behind walls of stone to avoid the pain and hurt voicing them would cause to him and Hiccup.
With a sorrowful tone, he answered, "Your mother loved dragons, son. Ever since we were young she had always a great soft spot for them. Didn't matter how destructive, chaotic, frightening, or horrible they were, she could never stand to see them harmed. No one back then understood or approved of her views, but she held tightly onto them anyway. Nothing could ever convince her that dragons weren't just as intelligent or rational like us."
Stoick stopped to let his son soak in the words, hoping he could help Hiccup enact at least one small bond with his mother. And hoping that would be enough to make his next words go down easier.
"… Valka was passionate and stubborn about her views. I had long ceased attempting to change her mind as even I knew that was a losing battle. But as I'm sure you've noticed, that passion and stubbornness was reserved for dragons. No other human could compare in her eyes. Not her friends, her family, me… and also you."
The flinch from the young man was like a hard blow to Stoick's gut. He started wondering if he made a mistake in not telling his son the truth about their little family once he was old enough to understand. They would have been able to digest the news slowly, given the boy time to reconcile his beliefs with reality. Maybe it wouldn't be hurting Hiccup so much like an unexpected sword through the stomach.
But how could either of them see something like this coming? Valka had been so abruptly taken from their lives and left so little of herself behind that it was like she was truly dead. Maybe Stoick should have rethought everything once Hiccup showed that dragons truly didn't mean humans harm, most of the time, but even he had long ago grieved and laid Valka to rest.
Which made it all the more sadder that what should be considered a joyous occasion was actually a painful one.
Carefully, he laid a hand on Hiccup's shoulder and tried to ignore the minute trembling under his fingers. "I'm so, so sorry for not being honest about your mother, son. I truly thought she perished all those years ago. Speaking ill of the dead, especially a loved one, is something the living tend not to dwell on. Know that if I truly thought she was still alive, I would have told you."
Hiccup leaned into his father's arm, wrapping it with one of his own as he rested his head on the man's limb and stared into the familiar bushy beard.
Quietly, he stated, "A small part of me is mad that you never told me about this. But most of the other parts can't blame you, since you didn't know either and you were just trying to protect me. But... I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
"Aye, neither do I, son." Without thinking, Stoick reached up and started combing his fingers through Hiccup's hair, carefully avoiding the braids put there by his future daughter-in-law. "All we can do is keep going and see where it takes us. Who knows," he allowed a touch of hope to lace his voice. "Maybe when you tell Valka about the dragons on Berk , and how you and Toothless-"
"I already mentioned Berk and the whole story with Toothless," Hiccup interrupted, dejectedly. "The whole story with Toothless," he repeated morosely.
Once the implication clicked, Stoick couldn't hold back a dejected sigh of his own. No matter how the boy told it, how he and Toothless interacted now, and all the good that came out of it, Valka was not one to forgive those who harmed dragons easily. She may have tolerated the raid fights and killings, but injured dragons were usually well enough to retreat and the dead ones at least had their end.
Inflicting an injury on a dragon that permanently handicapped them was where Valka drew the line. Especially a dragon as majestic as a Nightfury and an injury so soul destroying to a dragon like a damaged tail fin. It wouldn't matter to Valka that her child had worked to fix his mistake, paid for it with his own loss, and the dragon loved the boy like a brother. Hiccup maimed a dragon.
As if reading his thoughts, Hiccup added. "She wasn't too happy when she saw the tail fin, but seemed to appreciate the fact I tried to help. Asked me if I found the monster who did it and taught them a lesson they wouldn't forget. I pointed out I was the one who shot Toothless down, and he practically glued himself to me as I went on. But… but she didn't take it as well. It took some coaxing from Cloudjumper, Toothless, and even the Bewilderbeast before she stopped glaring at me.'
"Yesterday we were near one of the hatchling dens and some of the older ones flew up to join us. A strong wind came by and it sent us scattering around the area. Fortunately, the hatchlings were pushed back towards the den. Toothless and I almost crashed into an ice wall and barely managed to alter ourselves so we crashed in the snow below, instead. When we got back up, she was there with Cloudjumper and started asking Toothless if he was alright.'
"I didn't even get a word in before she heard the baby dragons, double checked on Toothless, and then flew down towards them. She never looked back at us once…"
As the boy wrapped up what had happened, Stoick took a deep breath before answering. "There was one time when you were still a babe that Valka took you with her out to the forest during a nightly raid. A Monstrous Nightmare had some young with it, and your mother wanted to see them. I stumbled upon you two by accident before two boars suddenly ran into the clearing … Let's just say, it's fortunate I was there when I was…"
Nothing else needed to be said, not that Stoick could probably find the words to say them anyway. The truth was obvious and painful to acknowledge.
It didn't surprise him when he felt water dripping down his arms nor was he insensitive to the body trembling under his hands. Stoick merely wrapped his arm around his son and blocked the boy's break down from prying eyes.
The dragons had probably long ago noticed what was happening, but they knew it was a human affair that they could not resolve. The older man had a feeling the Berk dragons, especially Toothless, were going to pull Hiccup away at some point and comfort the boy in their own, dragon style way.
He felt the understanding gaze of Gobber digging into his back, even as the man continued to fill the other room with chatter. His old friend was definitely going to approach them either separately or together in the near future.
At some point, even Valka had caught on to what was happening as Stoick cast a quick look over his shoulder when he felt her eyes on him. They locked gazes with each other, her eyes as wild and beautiful as ever in a face that was painfully familiar yet different. For a fleeting moment, Stoick thought there was a flash of something in Valka's orbs that could be described as regret, sadness, or even confusion about what the next step should be.
But the flash could have merely been a trick of the light. Valka's posture adopted a sense of commitment to the thoughts running through her mind, and her facial expression portrayed icy acceptance at what she had down not just recently, but years ago. As far as Valka, his long believed lost wife and mother to his pride and joy, was concerned, her actions toward her son were just both now and back then.
With resignation, Stoick turned his head and focused his attention back on the familiar distraught his boy was going through because of his mother. He whispered what little soothing things he could into Hiccup's ear until he felt the tremors calm down and the tears slowly dry.
Once again, Stoick felt his emotions torn in two at the twisted image of his family.
Valka had returned from the grave and the love he had for her was still prevalent and strong. He had no doubt that after a bit of time, the two could rekindle their romance and pick up from where they left off. Albeit with their major issue no longer such, which meant they could spend evenings talking over other things besides the treatment of dragons.
Hiccup may be a young man now and more than ready to take the next stage of his life as Chief and husband to Astrid, but Stoick remembered him as a tiny baby. A weak, pathetic thing by most people's opinion, and who had exceeded their expectations, including his. His relationship with his son had not been the best, but never had Stoick stopped loving him and wanting the best for him.
To welcome Valka back into his life would be reigniting old hurts against his son, who had been his focus for the last 20 years. Embracing Hiccup as he had done and had learned to redo would mean pushing Valka out of their lives once more.
Closing his eyes, Stoick took in a deep breath and wished his emotions lived up to his name so he wouldn't be breaking inside.