Chapter Text
September, 4, 12:12 pm
2day im gettin drunk
i’m glad
rlly
yes?
idk i kinda thought ya would condescendingly ask me “on wednesday??”
n i’d tell ya “yea any day is good!”
n ya’d say sum like “yer dumb as fuck” or similar
n i’d say “is my friends fault”
n then we’d talk ab my friends or sum
n yer lack thereof
well i think you have it all figured out already
i guess i can leave you alone?
noooo dw
i can improvise……
yer glad im gettin drunk
yer an alcoholic?
no
ya ever suffered from substance abuse?
no
ya feel ya have problems w self control?
are you my therapist now?
you’re the one who said “any day is good to get drunk”
technically i didnt get to say it
but you think so
say, do you think you have problem with self-control?
mmm no but ive tried pot n ik is better i dont keep it goin bc i had a lil bit too much fun
which i think proves i have great self control
i guess?
who gave you pot?
yer from tokyo ya cant tell me no 1 has ever offered ya pot in the big city
i mean
yeah, sure
just asking
well see in the city theres lots of cocaine
n out from the city theres a stoner in every corner
a third part of every high school class grows their own weed
the hard thing is no 1 offers ya pot like ya have to b RLLY ugly
and you’ve had it you say?
pfff im not even gonna bother
thats just fake
that im ugly
pffff i have lots of admirers
sure
like the one girl who gave you my number instead of hers
go fuck yerself
i thought we had a mutual agreement
to not bring that up ever again
you wish
yer a bad human
a bad, bad human
ok
soooo
r ya gonna ask me ab my friends or what?
you want me to?
yea!
how are your friends?
so obedient well done
dont start
i asked you something
okok
well see 2night im goin out w 2 friends
we work 2gether so yk to enjoy our last free days
nice
i bet ya cant relate w that
bc none of yer friends is takin ya out to get drunk
actually im going out too
but ok you can keep trying to laugh at me without foundation
well shit ya could have said that before
now i look like a moron
you always look like a moron
like a rlly hot moron
whatever
ok but ya cant tell me ya werent at least kind of a freak as a kid
ya must have been
yes
but i have friends
if you say so….
so yer also gettin drunk 2day??
it’s not rlly my plan but my friends are also bad influence
so i’ll probably drink more than i want to
so ya R an alcoholic??
fucking asshole you’re so dumb
are you going to tell me about your friends or should i just fuck off?
ok ok…..
so im goin w 2 of em
1 of em is a ginger dwarf n the other is a gentle giant
both r deeply homosexual, which is funny bc ya’d think there can only be so many homosexuals in 1 team but thats wrong
the giant 1 has a bf he is gonna prolly marry in the newt 2 years
the shrimp 1 just turned back to the country n has a weird situationship w his best friend/rival/idol back from high school, who he will prolly marry too
oh wow
yea so basically im fuckin miserable w them
n thats why ill get drunk
and which of those is the one you remembered with the you can fly but you shit yourself thing?
PAJSAKSBAKJSBAJBSAKHSANSP
THE SHRIMP
I CANT BLIEVE YA REMEMBER
well it was rather surprising
KAHSHJSBAJBHJABSAAJ HES SOO DUMB
N HE HAS HORRIBLE STOMACH PROBLEMS
1 DAY HE TRIED TO LIE TO CAPTAIN N HE FARTED SO LOUD THE WHOLE BUILDING HEARD
captain
eee that how we call our boss
can ya pls focus on the great story im tellin??
yes sorry
a very big fart
AJHSJHSAKJHSAJK YES
anyway
thats why theyre my friends its just soo easy to embarrass them
it must be a pleasure to be your friend
but yes ofc my friend
oh my brother came hes makin me lunch
you’re a disappointment
sure
byebye!!
September, 4, 5:38 pm
so tell me
ya ever had an emo phase?
excuse me?
well is just i was thinkin ab it n ya rlly give the vibe ya did
like around 14
the fuck you know about me
ya have black hair duh??
you
you live in Japan
you’re japanese
asian
do you ever go out???
AJHSAJSAJKS my hair isnt black
no ok yours is dyed
dumbass
it isnt black anyway
oh ok so what is it?
dark brown? slightly lighter black?
i think thats gray love
you’re so fucking dumb i cant even
ALSO my friend is, again, a ginger
ya trynna discriminate against dyed blonds AND gingers???
i think thats kinda racist….
ik a lil german painter who also started that way
don’t be stupid you know what i mean
you’re the one who assumed i was emo bc my hair is black
well did ya?
i’m not ashamed of my past
YA WERE
I KNEW GOD I KNW
i mean
not really i just listened to linkin park and i felt really bad about myself
also i had a tumblr account
but it"s not like a had blue bangs or something
IDC I WAS RIGHT
i’m sure you also had embarrassing phases
never said otherwise pumpkin
GOD
you probably had a gacha life phase
WHAT
WTF NOT EVEN LIAR
YOU WATCHED GACHA ANIMATION VIDEOS
GOD THOSE ONES AB GAY ANIME SHIPS
NO NO NO
I DIDNT
TF YA KNOW
i’m right and you know it
did you make your own videos? did you write little scripts for them?
SHUT UP NO
did you make little edits with taylor swift songs?
I WOULD NEVER CHOOSE A TAYLOR SONG WHO DO YA THINK I AM
OMG
YOU HAD A TIKTOK ACCOUNT
N IT WAS RLLYYYY POPULAR OK???
ILL NEVER BRING BACK THAT FAME N INFLUENCE OVER ME
i dont hide my success
you’ve been trying to for a while now tho
shit i just guessed that i cant believe im right this is great
ya cant tell any1 ever
who am i gonna tell?? your brother???
GOD NO NEVER he would never respect me again
yk how many times did he almost discover me??
all those times i had to get back my phone from me bc of some incriminating notification??
i had to SURVIVE
ya can NOT tell him
i think you’re forgetting i cant talk with your brother
well but when ya meet him ya cant tell
oh
like kakajajskakak
well yk
i won’t
great
anywayyyy i think im gonna leave ya 2 get rdy n stuff…..
life huh
talk later?
yea sure!!
okok
September, 4, 9:56 pm
we went to play pool!!
and darts
i’m killing it with the darts
god i hope not
we’re in some pub talking
the music comes from some old box like those in american movies
it would be cool if it didn’t sound like fucking shit
stop frowning!!
i’m not
yes you are!!!
ok
September, 4, 10:39 pm
we switchwd plsces
were goin damving they say
idk i jyst hsd lots of wune
wine
mi short friend refilled my glass like 4 times without telling me
i’m flying through the street
literslly?
no not literally
oh
September, 4, 11:11 pm
11:11 make a wish!
i wish twhy change this fukinf song
did it work?
nowaaay it chanfed!
woooo
so msny wastwd whisjes….
it’s a lesson for the future
September, 5, 00:22
im swwaty n grpss
s the wordt
oh no!!!
i’m dancing i can’t really type!!
there’s a girl here who shakes her butt as if it was a part of her body omg so much control
think ab that swntenve
huh
i guess it is part of her body!!!!
what do u type sp well? arwnt u drink??
i am sooo drunk
i put on the autocorrect
noy fsir
September, 5, 1:17 am
what do you think about the eyebrow piercing
hot
i knew
September, 5, 2:34 am
im sp fukin dome w plp
om gpin out
September, 5, 2:47 am
[Incoming call: asshole !]
“... Yes?”
“Love! You outside?”
“Eh… yeah.”
“I just got out! I’m havin’ soooo much fun, but I lost my friends.”
“Why?” *mumbling* “Too busy with that girl?”
*oblivious* “Oh, my god! The way she moved!”
*huffs*
“But my shorty friend, too, mind. He was in Brazil for a long time, n’ maybe he didn’t do much over there, but boy did he learn to move that ass. Thing is, by goin’ out there and hangin’ ‘round the right people, y’know, he got influenced. He learned a thing or two, yes. Does he shake it! Oh, man, the way he moves his hips, that’s good stuff. His boyfriend’s lucky… God, that miserable bastard. I tried askin’ ‘im if he could teach me, but I think it has somethin’ ta do with genetics, ‘cause… Y’know, like that thing with bendin’ yer tongue. Some people can. I can! Can ya?”
“No.”
“See! Well, that’s genetics. Hereditary. Didja know?”
“No.”
“Well it is! Thing is, he tried ta teach me that, to move my ass, y’know. But no way. Just can’t. My ass don’t move shit. I mean, I guess ’m still better than the average Japanese… So guess not that bad? But nothin’ compared to my friend, I’ll tell ya. Or with that girl! Think they got out ta have a dance battle or somethin’. That’s why I lost ‘im.”
“And your other friend?”
“Oh… I think he snuck behind the counter? Don’t know, but I saw ‘im takin’ a bottle outta the bartender’s hand n’ start purin’ shots. He loves makin’ drinks. Also knows how to throw into the air the shaker n’ stuff, y’know. That guy’s cool. They probably let ‘im stay on the counter, they have a busy night. I think I saw ‘im there? ‘m not sure.”
“God.”
“‘m talkin’ too much! Sorry!”
“No. No… I don’t mind, really.”
“Ya sound so drunk.”
“I am, asshole.”
“Hey, me too! Twinnin’! Anyway. Whatcha doin’?
“I’m outside. Talking to you? Someone offered me a cigarette and I took it.”
*gasp* “Ya smoke?!”
“Not really… Sometimes I like to, when I’m drunk. The smell doesn’t bother me. Tomorrow will, when I smell my clothes. Not now, though. Kinda like it. But I’m gonna have to stop.”
“Why?”
“Work.”
“Yer job doesn’t let ya smoke at night?”
“Um… yeah?”
“Then? Whatever… you do ya.”
“Yeah.”
…
“Y’know? Very cool, very mysterious, that is. Smokin’ cigarettes. Very hot…”
*slow chuckle* “You think so?”
“Well. Just kinda.” *giggle*
*clears his throat*
“How was yer night, then?”
“Uh… We went to this place with shitty music. It sounded so bad, god. And then… we stopped at a public restroom, I think? My cousin was pissing himself… He wanted to do it on the street, but I told him no… No, I didn’t let him. It’s just gross. And then someone has to clean it. And I think it’s illegal? Not sure…”
“Think it is. I usually sneak into my brother’s restaurant, if he’s with me. I don’t like to, ‘cause he always complains so much ‘bout havin’ ta open it n’ start the water n’ stuff, so I just try not to go to the bathroom, but alcohol is dehydratin’, y’know? So it makes you pee more, ‘cause it ejects the liquid outta yer body. Sometime ya gotta go. So I sneak into his place.”
“That’s nice.”
“It is! It’s great. So after the bathroom?”
“Eh?”
“Whaddya do? After goin’ to the bathroom.”
“Ah… We came to this place. Where we’re right now. Mhm… There’s lots of lights, ¿and I think it’s some kinda trap for tourists? There’s lots of foreigners. The music is pretty bad… And it’s so expensive… I almost haven’t drunk here. Too expensive. I drank at the other place. They gave me this one shot that kicked the fuck outta me. Total annihilation. Destroyed. Don’t know what it was, though.”
“Oh, those are the good ones.”
“I wasn"t mentally ready. I got so smashed so fast. That’s why I got out. Too many people and my head is spinning. I don’t want to vomit.”
*worried* “Yer gonna vomit?”
“No? That’s why I got out. Are you listening to me?”
*laughs* “Yeah, oh. Sorry.”
“Mhm… Well. This girl offered me the cigarette. I said yeah. I think she was trying to flirt with me because she touched my arm a lot. I told her to stop. I still feel her hand, it’s gross. I told her stop. She got angry. I still got the smoke.”
“Bet ya were so mean…”
“I’m not mean. I’m just honest. Blunt, alright. I tell people what I don’t like. And so they think I’m a jerk. Because I see some guy picking at his nose, and then I don’t want to shake hands with him. I don’t want to touch his snot. I don’t. And so I’m a jerk. But he’s not disgusting. If I wear a mask outside, I’m weird. But I don’t want to get sick. I just don’t want to get sick. Do you think I’m a jerk?”
“No!... Well, I see why people can think so.”
“Oh…”
“But I don’t! Honest! I think I get what ya mean, n’, like, I understand ya don’t wanna shake some snotty hand or whatever, ‘cause I wouldn’t either. Guess I would do it, though? ‘Cause I would be too ashamed ta say no, n’ I guess I know I am generally a jerk, like, a big one, but I still feel like I look to please. More than I should, anyway. I mean… Imma setter. I hafta please my team. N’ I hafta demand for things! But also I hafta please them… What I mean is, like, I think it’s fine what ya do, ‘cause it makes sense, n’ ya have the right to do so, but at the same time it’s not normal. So people get weirded out. Which, whatever, but it happens. Am I sayin’ somethin’? I feel like ‘m not sayin’ anythin’.”
“Yeah. I mean, you are. Well, kind of. But I get it. Mhm. Thanks.”
“‘m glad!”
“Do you have a praise kink or something, then?”
“Don’t be mean! God… shut up…”
*light laugh*
…
“Hey… can I be honest with ya?”
“You’re drunk, I don’t think I can stop you.”
“Ya are, too. Ya don’t wanna stop me.”
“Guess so.”
“Ok. Well… thing is… yer voice is really orgasmic. Like liquid orgasm.”
*huff* “You’re so fucking stupid, god. It doesn’t even make sense! The fuck do you even mean? That it sounds like I’m having an orgasm?”
“No, c’mon. It induces orgasm. Liquid orgasm.”
“What the fuck is a liquid orgasm?!” *breaths deeply* “You know what? Whatever. Induces orgasm, whatever, I’m taking that.”
“Oh, yeah? Ya interested in my orgasm?”
“Don’t try to sound seductive while you’re drunk. You just sound stupid.”
“Shit. Had to try, I guess.”
“Hah.”
“Honestly ‘m like so horny for ya. Shit, no, ‘m not tellin’ that.”
“You already did.”
“What?”
“That you’re horny for me.”
“Uh… Don’t know what’re ya talkin’ ‘bout, love. That’s not true.”
“You just told me.”
“No?”
“I’m starting to get tired of you.”
“Now that’s a lie. Be honest… are you horny for me?”
“You sound like a teenager, asking it like that.”
“Don’t try to avoid the question.”
“... Guess it’s hard to tell. I don’t know who you are.”
“Guess so… It’s weird for me, too. S’ppose I just have this picture of ya I like, n’ it works with everythin’ I know of ya, n’ it keeps feedin’ itself with time. It really does get me kinda horny.” *giggle* “Sorry if it makes ya uncomfy.”
“It doesn’t. I think I get it.”
“Ya think we will meet some day?”
“... I’d like to.”
*smiling* “Yeah… yeah, me too.”
…
…
“Hey…”
“Yeah?”
“Would you rather fuck a girl or a guy?”
…
“You there?”
*loud chuckle* *shaky breath* “The fuck? *keeps laughing* “Why the fuck ya askin’ that now? Didja just remember it? Oh, my… Fuck, oh, my god… *coughs* *chuckles* Yer a weird guy, love, shit… Weird, weird man… I can’t-” *keeps laughing* *sharp breath* *coughs* “Fuck, what.” *chokes* *stops laughing* “Oh, shit. What the fuck? Who…” *gasps* *shaky breath* *light laugh* “Oh, fuck, we’re goin’ back. Goin’ back, goin’ back…”
“What happened?”
“Shit, just saw someone. Some guy I know, kinda. He’s just there, in the middle of the street, the bastard. On the phone? Fuck, outta all people…”
“Who?”
“Just some guy.” *shaky breath* “He scared the fuck outta me, god. I’m workin’ with ‘im this year. He got a haircut. Oh, fuck, he’s lookin’ around. Who’s he lookin’ for, that asshole? Shit, he almost sees me, fuck. Almost shit myself. Just went for a walk n’ suddenly… the fuck is he doin’ here… I’m gettin’ back, shit.”
…
“Hello?”
“Yes, yeah. I’m here.”
“I think I should get back to my friends. Try to find ‘em.”
“Yeah, I… I think I will, too.”
“Ok. Ok, well… I really liked talkin’ ta ya.”
“Mhm.”
“Really. I always like talkin’ ta ya.”
“Oh. Oh… Thanks.”
*chuckles* “Thanks?”
“... I do, too. I like… talking to you.”
*smiling* “Good. Talk tomorrow?”
“Yes. Please.”
“Ok.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
[Call ended, 3:21 am]
September, 5, 4:26 am
just got home!
gopd
September, 5, 4:47 am
gpt homw
good!!
good night
goof nohht