Chapter Text
Leo walks to get coffee straight from Phichit’s dorm. He yawns and rotates his shoulders. Sleeping on the floor isn’t any fun. It adds a new layer to Guang Hong’s defection — Leo can’t imagine how much he must hate him to suffer through sleeping on a concrete floor for days.
Great, now he’s about to start spiraling again.
He’s nearly to the campus Starbucks when he sees Otabek sitting on a bench nearby. As if on cue, Otabek looks up at him. Leo freezes, hand on the door handle, brain screeching to a halt as he realizes that Otabek might talk to him. Sure, Otabek is two years older than him and just as intimidating as Yuri — albeit in a very different way — but, still, Otabek has probably spent plenty of time with Guang Hong the last couple weeks.
A hell of a lot more time than Leo has, anyway.
Otabek is actually looking at him, seemingly on the verge of standing, an expectant look on his face. Just as Leo is about to change course over to Otabek, the door opens. It shoves his wrist aside, and then suddenly someone is slamming into his chest. He turns back, horrified, feeling cold liquid seeping into his shirt before he sees it. And then there’s Guang Hong, cold brew cup clattering onto the concrete with a shower of ice cubes, looking up at him with a horrified look on his face.
Guang Hong.
Who promptly flushes. “Oh my god,” he says, one hand hovering an inch away from Leo’s ruined shirt. “Leo, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Leo, still too shocked to move, has a sudden urge to grab Guang Hong’s hand — and the rest of him — and pull him to his chest and not let him go. He almost shudders just hearing Guang Hong say his name like that again, familiar and soft. He looks at the brown hair falling in front of Guang Hong’s warm, dark eyes, and he can’t believe he’s gone this long without seeing him up close.
Nothing has changed, he thinks, for a split second, but then there’s something in him, clawing at him, and then he shivers with a violent urge to kiss him.
And kiss him and kiss him and — god — never stop—
He jumps back a step, breathing heavily. He wants Guang Hong — more of him, all of him.
He loves Guang Hong.
It all seems so obvious, as soon as Leo thinks of it. Suddenly his lifetime of jealousy, his days of misery, the last few years of refusing to even consider dating someone — it all points in a neon arrow back to Guang Hong. He’s always thought that this is what friendship is, but he’s never felt this heart-hammering, sometimes nauseating, full-body way for someone else. For his whole life, it’s only ever been Guang Hong.
And who can blame him, Leo thinks, hands frozen mid-air as he reaches towards Guang Hong’s. The smartest, sweetest, sexiest guy in the entire world — the damn gold standard, really. My boyfriend, Guang Hong — the phrase pops into Leo’s head unbidden, and it makes him flush. Now that he’s thought it, he wants it — more than he’s ever wanted anything else.
You make him uncomfortable — Yuri’s words crash into Leo’s brain right as, like a specter, Yuri himself appears over Guang Hong’s shoulder. Yuri laughs at the sight of them, and it’s hard for Leo not to feel like Yuri can see into his head and is laughing at what an idiot he’s been. Yuri knew before Leo did. What else would make Guang Hong uncomfortable? It all makes sense — Leo was just too dumb to realize it.
He loves Guang Hong, but Guang Hong loves someone else. Or at least likes someone else. Or multiple someones. At the very least, he must be tired of Leo following him around like a lovesick puppy since they were kids. Then to college, and his dorm room, and everywhere. Leo has been clinging onto him like a lifeline this whole time, and he’d never even realized what this is.
“Leo, I’m so sorry,” Guang Hong is saying, “and you have class, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Leo says absently, considering that’s the least of his worries. He mostly just wishes Guang Hong were looking at him instead of just his shirt.
People around them are giving the coffee spill a wide berth. Leo blinks and looks at the stain again. He definitely can’t go anywhere like this. Just a long-sleeve shirt was an optimistic wardrobe choice to begin with, and the autumn wind against his wet shirt makes him shiver. Otabek makes his way over to the group, slipping in beside Yuri. Yuri hands over a second coffee cup before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Yuri even leans in to whisper something in Otabek’s ear, and it suddenly makes Leo almost mad — why does everyone get to be happy and in love except him?
“Looks like you spilled your coffee, Leo,” Otabek says dryly, which makes Yuri burst out laughing. Leo shoots him a sour look, but he can’t bring himself to fight back.
Guang Hong bites his lip and looks up at Yuri with wide eyes. Yuri just gazes back at him for a long second, but then Otabek nudges his side. “Leo’s dorm is all the way on the other side of campus, isn’t it?”
Yuri rolls his eyes, but after just a second’s pause, he says, “Guang Hong, you can take him to my dorm and find him something a little less… damp.”
“I thought I wasn’t allowed over without an invite,” Leo says petulantly, without even thinking, unable to forget how Yuri unceremoniously kicked him out last time he was over.
“That was an invitation, moron.”
Guang Hong turns back to Yuri for a second, something passing between them — some oh-so-significant silent communication, like salt in all of Leo’s wounds. But then Guang Hong turns back to Leo and sighs. “Come on,” he says, with obvious reluctance that makes Leo feel even worse.
Leo walks next to him, sneaking glances at him as often as possible. Guang Hong must notice — judging by the growing color on his face — but he doesn’t say anything. Leo can feel a few people staring at him, probably laughing at the coffee stain, but he barely even registers it. Honestly, it just feels like he’s floating, finally being next to Guang Hong again. Sure, he wishes they were heading back to their own room instead of Yuri’s dorm, but he can’t even bring himself to mind. He just follows Guang Hong blindly, his staring getting more blatant as the minutes tick by.
Finally, Guang Hong opens Yuri’s door. Still following behind him, Leo can’t help but say, “Guang Hong…”
“Let’s just find you a shirt.”
Leo is suddenly relieved for Guang Hong’s affinity for oversized sweatshirts, because they are not the same size. He doesn’t think Yuri’s invitation extended to stealing his clothes. Leo glances around the dorm room, his gaze landing on an air mattress shoved in the corner. He walks over to him and nudges it with his foot. He frowns. There’s a blanket and pillow and Guang Hong’s clothes on it.
“Here,” Guang Hong says, extending a grey University of Michigan hoodie.
“You bought this?” Leo asks, gesturing to the mattress. He’s trying to play it cool, but it just sounds like a whine.
Guang Hong looks down, and he pulls the hoodie into his chest.
“You bought furniture?” Leo can’t help it — he’s angry, annoyed, and hurt, and a million other things. Guang Hong is out here building a whole new world, and Leo really is being discarded permanently.
“It’s just an air mattress, Leo. No assembly required.”
“You hate me now, don’t you?” Leo asks, talking faster and less coherently. “Y-you’re in love with someone else, and I got in the way. Right? You can tell me.”
Guang Hong looks at him, eyebrows going up. “Is this about Yuri? I know you’ve never liked him, but he and Otabek are, like, soulmates, so I don’t know why you’d—”
“Not Yuri,” Leo interrupts, flushing, even though he wouldn’t be able to deny that thought has crossed his mind more than once. Tall, blond, supermodel-hot Yuri — who wouldn’t be jealous?
“Then who?”
“I don’t know! But I found condoms and—” he breaks off, unable to say the word lube, “...and more condoms.”
Guang Hong flushes. “You were snooping through my stuff?”
“No, I was trying to pack a bag for you so that you’d be more comfortable.”
Guang Hong looks down at the sweatshirt still bundled in his arms, and he suddenly thrusts it forward. Leo, frustrated, pulls off his coffee-stained shirt. He’s about to take the sweatshirt from Guang Hong when he realizes he has no idea what to do with the one he’s holding. He looks around for a second, but then Guang Hong takes it from his hand and tosses it into a nearby laundry basket that Leo didn’t see. He shoves the clean sweatshirt into Leo’s chest and then looks at Leo again, face pink, and Leo flushes, too. He’s changed in front of Guang Hong a hundred times, but it’s never felt like this before. Like it suddenly seems like a very good idea to be shirtless in front of Guang Hong, but that if Guang Hong touched his bare skin, he might actually explode.
“You’re missing class, Leo,” Guang Hong says, walking to the door. Leo yanks the sweatshirt on and darts after him.
“I don’t care,” Leo says, his hand slamming against the door before Guang Hong can open it. Guang Hong looks back at him, startled, and Leo realizes what he did and jumps back a step. “Sorry — but please, Guang Hong.” When he doesn’t move, Leo says, without considering it, “I know you’re mad that I’m in love with you, but—”
“What?” Guang Hong interrupts, whirling around, practically against Leo’s chest now.
“Because I feel like this about you, and you’re out there dating. Maybe you already have a boyfriend, but—”
“I don’t,” Guang Hong interrupts again, shaking his head emphatically. One of his hands reaches out, tantalizingly close to Leo’s arm, but he stops. “But, Leo, you don’t like me as anything more than a friend, don’t lie to me.”
Leo lets out a laugh, like that’s the most ridiculous thing in the world. Sure, he didn’t realize it until about fifteen minutes ago, but now that he’s accepted these feelings for Guang Hong, he knows they’ve always been there, deeper than anything. So he just says, “Yuri said you knew.”
Guang Hong shakes his head. “Say it again,” he whispers, looking up at him, practically through his eyelashes. Leo gulps, his throat feeling very, very dry just as his face starts to feel very, very warm.
“Can’t you just put me out of my misery?” Leo asks quietly, hating how whiny his voice sounds. “We never have to talk about it again.”
Guang Hong just shakes his head, hands reaching up to grab at Leo’s sweatshirt. “Please, Leo.”
“Um,” Leo says eloquently, and can’t resist resting one of his hands on Guang Hong’s. The other of his hands hovers near his shoulder. “I love you. Um, more than friends should. Way more—”
This time when Guang Hong interrupts him, it’s with his lips on Leo’s. Leo freezes for just a second, shuddering, instantly overwhelmed, but then he lets his eyes close and kisses him back. He didn’t realize there could be so much more of Guang Hong. His tongue tastes sweet, literally, and the way it slides against Leo’s makes Leo finally clutch at Guang Hong’s back. Guang Hong wraps his arms around Leo’s shoulders, pressing closer, and Leo tries not to move his hands too much, resisting the strong urge to touch every part of him. This is new territory in a very old relationship, and Leo has a sudden need to stake his claim.
He pulls back, not even considering it, and gets a glimpse of Guang Hong’s flushed face, pink lips, heavy-lidded eyes. He feels an insane urge to rub his thumb on Guang Hong’s bottom lip, and he does, and they both shiver. He forces himself to focus. “Y-you really feel the same?” Leo asks quietly. “More than… those other guys?”
“Oh, Leo,” Guang Hong says, smiling and shaking his head. “There are no other guys. I mean, maybe there were, in the past, but it was casual. I was trying to get over you.”
Leo opens his mouth to say something, but then he closes it again. He flushes, and then finally manages to whisper, “I don’t want you to get over me.”
Guang Hong leans forward and buries his face in Leo’s chest. “Why do you think I ran away? I’ve always been in love with you. I thought… you’d never want me like this.”
Leo’s eyes widen, and he very gently grabs Guang Hong’s face, pulling him back from his chest. His face is still red, and his eyes look damp. Leo feels a rush of affection — some old, some new, all twisted together in a different way, just how it should be. “Will you be my boyfriend?” he asks in a rush, all in one breath.
Guang Hong blinks once, twice, three times, and then says quietly, “Leo, you’ve always said you don’t want to date—”
“I didn’t mean it,” Leo interrupts desperately. When Guang Hong fixed him with a look, Leo admits, “Okay, I guess I meant it at the time, but that’s just because I’m an idiot. And, I mean, I don’t want you casually.”
Guang Hong grins, and leans up to press a kiss to Leo’s cheek and his jaw.
“So that’s a yes?” Leo says, with his last coherent thought.
“Yes,” Guang Hong breathes, and then he’s kissing Leo’s lips again. He presses against Leo until his back hits the wall. “I’m yours,” Guang Hong whispers, in between doing things to Leo’s mouth that makes his knees go weak.
Leo doesn’t have the brain capacity for speech, but, anyway, even if he did, he knows he’d just say a lot of deeply embarrassing things that would make him drop dead, probably. Instead, he just puts all his effort into kissing Guang Hong, hands on his hips and sometimes lower, almost shaking with a sudden need in a way he didn’t know he was capable of. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. Guang Hong has always brought things out in him, and now this, too.
Then the door slams open.
Leo tries to jump back instinctively, but he’s pressed between the wall and Guang Hong, so he’s got nowhere to go. Guang Hong’s arms are still wrapped tightly around his neck, slackening just slightly at the interruption. They both turn to the door, but Yuri’s immediate laughter is a dead giveaway.
“I win,” Yuri says, looking at Otabek.
Otabek just nods, half-smiling.
“Win what?” Guang Hong asks, dropping his arms to turn to face Yuri. Leo hugs him from behind, arms wrapping around Guang Hong again. Guang Hong goes red again, one hand reaching up to stroke Leo’s arm.
Yuri comes into the room, pulling Otabek in behind him. “Otabek wasn’t sure if you’d had enough time yet.”
“You two had something to do with this, didn’t you?” Guang Hong says accusingly.
Yuri shrugs, standing near them, while Otabek goes to sit on the bed. “It wasn’t my idea,” he says, as though doing a good deed would be a horrific accusation. “Otabek felt bad that the two of you have been walking around so pathetic for weeks now.”
Even though Leo supposes he should be offended, he’s not — he of all people knows just how pathetic he’s been without Guang Hong. And judging from the look at Guang Hong’s face, he’s not about to protest the comment either. Guang Hong does manage to roll his eyes a little, but then he starts smiling again.
“Well, thanks,” Guang Hong says quietly, looking up at Leo. Then his eyes widen again. “Oh, Leo, you’re so late for class—”
“It’s good to skip now and then,” Leo interrupts, not caring in the slightest. He can barely remember which class he even has right now. “Can we please move you back into our dorm instead?” He leans down and presses his lips to Guang Hong’s hair, already wishing they were alone again.
Guang Hong twists around in his arms, his still-pink face going even pinker as he nods.
Guang Hong is sitting shotgun in Leo’s car, curled up as comfortably as possible. The drive back to Chicago is about four hours, and they’re nearing the two-hour mark, which puts them in the middle of nowhere. It’s winter break now, with three whole weeks to look forward to. They both made it through exams, with even Leo managing to scrape by with decent grades.
Guang Hong smiles to himself, humming along to Leo’s favorite playlist, when Leo reaches out to turn the music down. Guang Hong looks at him, surprised, and Leo’s brown eyes flick over. “So how soon should we tell them?” Leo asks, all in one breath, like the words are forcibly bursting out of him.
“Tell who what?”
Suddenly the tables have turned, with Leo looking at Guang Hong like he’s missing something very obvious.
“I mean, I have to tell Mom that we’re dating. And I have to make sure your parents know that I, like, am super serious about you and that I’ll be the best boyfriend possible. Right?”
Leo has the advantage of being able to look at the road as he talks, but Guang Hong can’t do anything but stare at him, blushing furiously. He honestly hadn’t thought about it; once he and Leo started dating, it seemed like maybe they always had been. People somehow suddenly knew, and that suited Guang Hong just fine.
Not that he doesn’t want to talk about Leo — because he does and a lot — but he likes it better now that they really are a foregone conclusion.
“I mean, your parents might think you can do better than me!”
“They do keep mentioning that they have friends with gay sons,” Guang Hong says, mind elsewhere.
Leo looks at him, eyebrows going up, horror dawning on his face. “Absolutely not.”
Guang Hong laughs. “Aw, come on, Leo, no one’s better than you.” It warms something deep inside him when Leo smiles at him, instantly reassured. Guang Hong marvels, once again, how natural it feels, like all their years of friendship were leading right here. Fate marching on, waiting for them to catch up. Then he adds, “And you’re right — let’s tell them.”
Leo grins.
They’re silent for a few minutes, but Leo doesn’t tick up the volume on the music like he usually does. His face looks more contemplative than usual, and Guang Hong can’t help but glance over every few seconds.
“What kind of gay sons, anyway?” Leo asks abruptly, and Guang Hong lets out a laugh.
“Why, are you on the market?”
“No! But I feel like I should know my competition.”
“Competition? Oh, Leo.” When his expression doesn’t change, Guang Hong leans closer and closer him. He stretches the limits of his seatbelt, and Leo’s gaze darts over to him. “Eyes on the road,” Guang Hong says softly, and he presses his lips against Leo’s cheek and his jaw. Then again and again, getting dangerously close to Leo’s mouth. It’s purely a safety consideration that he doesn’t go in for a real kiss. Then, right into Leo’s ear: “Don’t you trust me?”
“No fair,” Leo says, voice husky, and his right hand goes to Guang Hong’s thigh, squeezing lightly.
Guang Hong laughs and sits back down properly. He picks up Leo’s hand in both of his, giddy suddenly. Leo is right — they’re entering a whole new phase, and it’s time to shout it from the rooftops.
“I hope your mom likes me,” he says dryly.
Leo bursts out laughing, and Guang Hong does too. Leo turns the music up and presses down on the gas pedal. Just like that, there’s nothing to worry about.