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It was a carefully chosen arrangement. There were very few people who would be eligible who had the right blend of ties to the village, pedigree, and skills who were also not married and within a semi-reasonable age range to suit the purpose.
Though the Hatake family had shrunk significantly, they were a long-established part of Konoha, there from the beginning. Kakashi was the student of the Yondaime, and his lineage as a student went back to the Sandaime—went back further than that. Though some of Kakashi's work was hidden under the mantle of ANBU, he had a reputation that gave him a top spot in any village's bingo book. He was very much not married, had never allowed himself to consider it. There was a bit of an age gap, but it was certainly better than if the Sandaime threw his hat in the ring.
"Do I have to?" Kakashi said.
In other circumstances, maybe Kakashi could have gotten at least a look of sympathy, some lingering fondness for a student's student's student. Sarutobi was in full hokage splendor at the moment, hat and robe on, pipe nowhere to be seen, seated at his desk chair like it was a throne. His eyes were serious. His mouth was a firm line drawn across his face.
"It won't be so bad," Jiraiya said from his spot by Sarutobi's elbow. "The kid's reputation is terrible, but he's not so hard to get along with in person."
Kakashi did not point out that Itachi had killed his entire family. Apparently, that wasn't entirely the case—though it was still partially the case. Nor did Kakashi point out that Itachi had recently killed a number of very dangerous people, including some who had been in on that family-killing. That, apparently, had been accomplished with the Sannin at his side in the world's most unanticipated reunion and with Konoha's full blessing, including the death of Councilman Shimura Danzo. That was the whole reason they were here, discussing how they were going to bring Itachi publicly back into the fold that he had apparently never truly left.
There was a lot that was apparent to Kakashi now that he would never have dared to guess prior to this conversation.
"Who is going to believe that I can act as a first line of defense if he really does snap?" Kakashi was good. Kakashi was very good. But all things considered, he would not like to fight Itachi at full power without warning and time to prepare. Kakashi especially would not like to fight Itachi when the only person who had warning and time to prepare was Itachi.
"Your concerns are misplaced," Sarutobi said. "That reassurance is not for your fellow shinobi."
"Konoha forces will get a story similar to yours," Jiraiya confirmed. "Not all the details, not about Danzo, but that Itachi went undercover in the wake of his family's deaths to infiltrate a dangerous criminal organization while also finding his family's killers. Everyone loves a tragedy followed by a happy ending."
And how much of the version told to him, Kakashi wondered, was actually true? He knew better than to ask. The important part of it was this: Itachi would be returning, and his return would be heralded by a wedding. His wedding. To Kakashi.
"I understand," Kakashi said, because this wasn't a negotiation. Kakashi was a loyal shinobi of Konoha. He would do what he was told when it was actually important, even this.
At least his obedience where it counted let him escape picking a genin team. He had several years running of teams he'd flunked, and he was almost looking forward to being assigned another team of genin set to immediately wash out. There was always the chance a team surprised him, but there was also always a reason Kakashi was assigned students that were better set for the Genin Corp or giving up their forehead protectors entirely. Kids and Kakashi did not mix, and he didn't think they ever would.
"There is one more thing," Jiraiya said. He'd been affably cheerful this whole time, reminding Kakashi so much of when Kakashi had been much younger and Jiraiya had swung by to tease the Yondaime and encourage Kakashi—or sometimes the reverse. Now, however, Jiraiya seemed ... not quite nervous, not quite guilty, but there was something there. Kakashi didn't like it.
"The thing about Itachi," Jiraiya said, expression serious now, "is that there's a reason he was willing to come back. That he wants to come back."
Kakashi looked from Jiraiya to Sarutobi, whose expression was downright grim.
"There was one survivor of the massacre that Itachi took with him," Sarutobi said. "As part of the negotiations, Uchiha Sasuke will be allowed to be trained by Konoha personnel and join our forces."
Kakashi was getting a very bad feeling about this.
"But it's kind of a no go to stick a kid that was raised among a bunch of missing nin in with the academy students," Jiraiya said, compounding that bad feeling. "You don't have a genin team yet. How would you feel about an apprentice?"
Kakashi knew they weren't really asking, but the answer was this: worse than getting married to an S-class missing nin who had probably, no matter what anyone said, killed most of his immediate family and a number of the extended ones, too.
And now that S-class missing nin was going to become part of Kakashi's family.
—
It was a small, quiet wedding ceremony. Itachi had his little brother, who glared at Kakashi like he was the one who'd wiped out most of the Uchiha clan, and a big blue guy who didn't introduce himself, but whom Kakashi recognized as Hoshigaki Kisame. Kakashi would be more concerned, but a second Sannin reunion was happening right here and now at Kakashi's wedding, and he had the larger concern that he'd nearly invited Tenzo before he'd decided he wasn't going to invite anyone, and that was Orochimaru ducking Jiraiya's attempt at a hug.
Kakashi, meanwhile, had his dogs, Gai (who had showed up anyway under the assumption that Kakashi was just late sending an invitation, or perhaps didn't want to inconvenience his friends by making them leave Fire Country for the whole affair), and the shreds of his dignity.
On the plus side, none of Kakashi's guests got sloppy drunk and destroyed the nearby countryside in a "friendly" sparring match that looked more like long-suppressed grievances being worked out via murder attempts. On the minus side, Kakashi had to go home with a new husband and a new little brother who was also his apprentice and who seemed to blame Kakashi for this whole fiasco.
It was late by the time Kakashi returned to Konoha. Gai had peeled off at the border of Fire Country for a mission, and they'd left the Sannin in Rice Country, and so their traveling group had been Kakashi, Itachi, and Sasuke. A ten year old's dignity didn't allow him to be carried unless it was necessary, which in this case meant not until after it had gotten dark. By the time they had cleared the gate and made it to the Hatake Compound, newly reopened because Kakashi was not sharing a one bedroom apartment with a new husband and a child, it was nearly midnight. Kakashi showed Itachi to Sasuke's room, and Sasuke roused just enough to burrow into the futon Kakashi had set out before leaving that morning. It was clear Sasuke was used to bedding down wherever Itachi put him, but it felt strange, knowing that this wasn't a temporary thing.
"Should I make him clean up first?" Itachi asked, a bit late for it when Sasuke was already under the covers and sound asleep.
"He can't do worse than the dogs," Kakashi said. There had been times Kakashi had come home from missions and hadn't even washed the blood off before rolling into his own bed. He had no room for judgment here.
"In that case," Itachi said and retreated from the room with all the quiet grace of someone who had probably killed dozens of people without ever waking them. On soft feet, making no sound himself, Kakashi followed Itachi into the hallway. Kakashi had no room for judgment here, either—his own death count had grown beyond what he could be bothered to track.
"Let me give you the tour," Kakashi said. He showed Itachi the main points—the kitchen, the toilet, the bath, where the really fun stuff had been put so children couldn't get their sticky hands all over it. There was a room for Itachi, and right next door was Kakashi's own room. It would be weird to sleep in the master suite when he wasn't a three year old who'd had a nightmare, but his old room was now occupied.
"And I'm expected to sleep here?" Itachi inquired, his tone mild, one elegant hand gracing the door mantle as he looked inside the guest room.
Kakashi paused. He had expected this to be a paper marriage, but ... "You don't have to." Kakashi opened his own door, let Itachi look inside. "Mine's big enough for two."
If Itachi was going to kill him in the night, it wasn't like it would make too much of a difference if he had to move next door first. And while Itachi's time away had turned him into something of a terrifying beauty, he was still very attractive. Kakashi figured that one way or another, he was in this marriage for life. It would be nice if he didn't have to spend that whole life celibate if his new husband found Kakashi attractive, too.
"I'm going to clean up," Kakashi said. He tipped his head, considered. Made the offer: "You can join me if you'd like."
Itachi didn't say yes in so many words, but he paced Kakashi back to the bathroom. Kakashi discarded his clothes in a pile by the door, his weapons in a separate pile. He only hesitated a moment over the mask, but the fact of the matter was that no matter the circumstances, Itachi was Kakashi's husband now. Besides, it would be awkward to do certain things with the fabric in the way. As for the weapons, worst case scenario, Kakashi always had his jutsu. (Worst case scenario, Kakashi thought a kunai wouldn't make a huge difference either way.)
Itachi paused in the doorway to watch Kakashi undress, but when Kakashi was naked and soaping down by the handheld shower and bucket like this was completely normal and he was not alarmed at how vulnerable he felt, Itachi finally began to undress, too. His painted fingernails drew the eye, perfect for a genjutsu but also perfect for emphasizing his fingers pulling bits of fabric away, a strangely utilitarian striptease as Itachi shucked his clothes, folded them, and placed them next to Kakashi's. He did not, Kakashi noted, remove the senbon he had hidden in his hair, nor did he let on where in his clothing the rest of his hidden weapons had been placed.
"If you wash my back, I'll wash yours," Kakashi said with a wry smile. He felt like every moment was an exercise in demonstrating trust neither of them felt. Maybe someday it would grow. And Kakashi didn't have to trust Itachi to enjoy the few benefits of being married to him. It wasn't like Kakashi had trusted any of his past partners that much, either.
Itachi approached something as simple as washing someone else's back like a serious endeavor requiring full attention. His fingers were calloused but surprisingly gentle as they skimmed over Kakashi's skin.
"What do you like?" Kakashi asked as Itachi traced a scar that had just missed Kakashi's spine.
"I'm flexible," Itachi said.
Kakashi bet he was. He pressed, "No preferences?" Even Kakashi, who was more than happy to take whichever position fit the mood and the circumstances, had things he liked more than others.
"None that matter." When Kakashi turned to face him, Itachi's face was blank, eyes unreadable. He said, "You can do whatever you want to me."
"You can do" and "to me" were not words that inspired confidence in Itachi's enthusiasm. Kakashi was happy to do almost anything with a willing partner. Based on Itachi's expression, "willing partner" didn't approach their relationship right now.
"Maa," Kakashi said lightly despite the pit in his stomach. "That doesn't sound like you want to do anything."
"I know what I agreed to," Itachi said. He put those elegant, calloused hands on Kakashi's bare shoulders, stepping more firmly into Kakashi's space. If Itachi had decided to take this opportunity to make himself a widower, Kakashi would have found it less terrible. "Anything you want to do, I'm willing. Just don't damage me where Sasuke can see."
"I think my cute little kohai has grown up to have some strange ideas about me." Gently, very gently, Kakashi pulled Itachi's hands off of him. "I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to have to be a very rude husband to you. You'll have to wash your own back tonight."
All too aware of Itachi's watchful gaze, Kakashi finished washing up. Tonight, he forwent the bath. He said, "I'm going to turn in first. You're free not to join me."
—
It was maybe one when Kakashi came fully awake. He was on a futon on tatami. This was his father's old room, his room now, and despite his tendency to sleep mostly naked, he was wearing a light cotton yukata, senbon in the sleeves. He'd dried his hair with a wind jutsu before coming to bed, not wanting to drip on the pillow, but he could smell the faint scent of bathwater. Standing in the door, his own hair wet, was Itachi. He padded in politely on feet that left the faintest of footsteps once Kakashi had met his gaze.
"What if I want to join you?" Itachi asked.
"I only play with willing partners," Kakashi said. He felt far too old for this.
"And if I didn't, what would happen?" Itachi asked.
"Whatever agreement you have with the hokage, it has nothing to do with what happens under this roof," Kakashi said. He sat up, because he would have this conversation in bed, why not, but he refused to do it while lying down. "Sleep where you want. Do what you want. Taking care of your brother is my duty as a Konoha shinobi and his sensei. Providing shelter, that's my duty as your husband."
"And what are my duties as your husband?" Itachi asked mildly.
"Don't kill anyone the village doesn't tell you to," Kakashi said dryly. "That was the deal, wasn't it?"
"That was part of it," Itachi said, equally dry. As he drew closer, Kakashi had to tip his head back more. "Nothing else?"
"Nothing else," Kakashi agreed.
"Good." Despite the conversation, Itachi kept going until he was standing over Kakashi's legs, and then very swiftly his weight was resting on Kakashi's lap, his legs bracketing Kakashi's.
"I'm getting mixed signals here," Kakashi said, his hands coming up to frame Itachi's hips. Itachi was also wearing a yukata, a plain gray one that Kakashi had left out for him. It made an interesting contrast with Kakashi's dark blue with white henohenomoheji characters printed on it.
"I don't know what I like," Itachi said, putting his hands on Kakashi's shoulders again, but it felt very different this time. "But I would like to find out."
"With me," Kakashi said, a sliver of doubt threading through his voice.
"With you," Itachi said. He pressed his mouth against Kakashi's, confident but inexperienced. Being a missing nin undercover with a dangerous criminal organization with a little brother in tow apparently didn't leave a lot of time for teenage experimentation or the sorts of things Kakashi had gotten up to as a young adult. Itachi kissed like he had heard the theory but never practiced it.
"Not so hard," Kakashi said after a moment, pulling back. "Here, like this."
Despite his inexperience, Itachi was a genius for a reason, learning fast. As they kissed, Itachi explored Kakashi's shoulders, then his neck. He curled his fingers in Kakashi's hair, scratched his nails gently against Kakashi's scalp. Kakashi shivered. When Kakashi separated their lips with a small pang of regret at abandoning that eager mouth and soft lips, Itachi's expression was interested, engaged.
"We don't have to try everything tonight," Kakashi said. His dick had woken up, too, making its interest known against the weight resting on it, but Kakashi was an adult. He could go to sleep with an erection.
"We wouldn't have time for everything," Itachi said. A hint of amusement showed in his eyes. "Sasuke's always been an early riser."
That was enough to kill some of Kakashi's libido by itself.
"But I think we can do enough to satisfy ourselves," Itachi said. He shifted back, but only enough to open up Kakashi's yukata, to undo his own.
Kakashi ran hot, only liked to wear one layer when he went to bed if he wasn't in the field. Itachi had apparently come here with a very particular intent. It took only a shift of fabric for them to be naked against one another. Itachi's expression was hard to read, but there was a particular hook to the corner of his mouth that seemed to express deep satisfaction at Kakashi's groan when Itachi wrapped his hand around Kakashi's dick.
"You can be a little less gentle," Kakashi said. To demonstrate, he gripped Itachi with the exact amount of pressure he preferred, replicating the rhythm he liked with a reversed grip.
Itachi's grip faltered instead, his eyes closing. It made Kakashi want to push him down, to show him exactly how good it could feel. It made Kakashi want to go back to kissing him until dawn came. It made Kakashi want to keep doing exactly what he was doing until Itachi came all over his hand and wrist.
Kakashi indulged one desire, at least, and leaned forward to mouth at Itachi's throat, to kiss and lick his way up to Itachi's ear and take the lobe gently in his mouth.
"I think," Itachi said, his voice steady in a way that was belied by his hands coming up to clutch at Kakashi's shoulders, "that multitasking may be beyond my first attempt."
"Do you want me to stop?" Kakashi asked, hand suddenly motionless, releasing Itachi's ear.
"We have time to do more than one thing," Itachi said. Then, "If it's just a bite, you can leave a mark wherever you want."
Kkaashi had never considered himself a very possessive person, but there was something very appealing about that, the thought of his new husband walking around with his marks, red and purple in the shape of Kakashi's mouth or teeth.
"Let's not scandalize the neighbors," Kakashi said, but he dropped his mouth to Itachi's shoulder and sucked a little, then dug his teeth in. From Itachi's reaction, biting was very much a go. It took very little effort before Itachi was coming, spending across Kakashi's hand, wrist, and part of his sleeve.
Itachi said, "You can keep going," as Kakashi gently milked him through it and curious, knowing exactly how sensitive Kakashi himself got afterward, Kakashi did, using Itachi's own semen as a makeshift lubricant, until Itachi's fingers had loosened their death grip on Kakashi's shoulders and then tightened again. Itachi wasn't the only one who was going to have marks from this.
"Do you like when it hurts?" Kakashi wondered.
"Like this," Itachi said, a tension in his face suggesting that Itachi got just as oversensitized as Kakashi if not more.
"Here," Kakashi said, a tiny bit of warning before he was flipping them. He took the opportunity of Itachi on his back to shrug off his own yukata and throw it in a messy bundle halfway across the room, then spread Itachi's legs with both hands on Itachi's knees. It wasn't much trouble at all to shift around until he could get Itachi's dick in his mouth, sucking gently at the tip at first, then, at Itachi's devastated sounding gasp, more firmly, taking up that same rough rhythm with his hand.
Itachi didn't take too much work to get hard again. His hips shifted minutely, restlessly, too polite to interrupt Kakashi's rhythm, to bat his hand aside or shove his dick down Kakashi's mouth. For someone who hadn't done this before, he was very well behaved.
"How would you feel about me fucking you?" Kakashi asked after teasing Itachi like that for another five, maybe ten minutes. It was their wedding night. Kakashi technically was entitled to time off to get settled in with his new husband. If they stayed up all night finding out what Itachi liked, what they both liked to do together, it would be for a worthy cause. Kakashi may feel old, but he was still in his twenties, and he'd pulled all nighters for worse causes. "Or maybe I could ride you?"
Itachi stared up at the ceiling like he was doing some very complicated planning. "The first one tonight." Itachi pushed his body up enough to get his arms out of the sleeves of his yukata, but he kept it spread under him as he reeled Kakashi in to kiss him. "The second ... tomorrow."
"Okay." Kakashi went to push up, to go find where he'd placed the lube, only for his adorably demanding new husband to grab him, arms around his neck, legs around his waist, and kiss him some more. Kakashi indulged him for a bit—indulged himself. It was good to spend time just kissing, hands exploring each other's bodies, no rush to get it done and get their clothes back in order after an encounter designed to be over as quickly as possible. Kakashi wanted to laugh when he went to withdraw after a while, and Itachi just pulled him back in again. "Am I going to have to tie you up to be able to get the lubricant?"
Itachi's were dark. He said, "Do you want to?"
Kakashi considered it. He didn't have anything that would truly hold Itachi, barely had anything to slow him down. "I would like you to promise to be very good," Kakashi said, grabbing Itachi's slim but strong wrists and pushing them above his head, "and stay right there, like this."
Itachi didn't say anything in response to that, but he didn't move, either. When Kakashi pushed up, this time, Itachi didn't pull him back down. He stayed in exactly that position, legs spread, hands above his head, spread out on his yukata like a recently unwrapped present as Kakashi retrieved the necessary supplies. When Kakashi came back, knelt between Itachi's legs, and rearranged him a little so that his hips canted upward, Itachi was as pliant as a doll. Considering their earlier conversation, Kakashi was honestly a little concerned about that, but a glance at Itachi's face showed distinct interest and carefully leashed control. His erection hadn't subsided at all.
Kakashi got his fingers nice and slippery, warming the lubricant in his hands first, and pressed a fingertip gently against Itachi's rim, rubbing before pressing the tip in. Itachi hadn't done this before, but his body was a quick learner. Or maybe he'd had just enough alone time to practice this much, at least. Kakashi had expected to coach him to relax, to bear down if he needed to, but there wasn't quite the tension, the pressure Kakashi had expected, his finger sliding in like Itachi's body welcomed it.
That was very definite amusement on Itachi's face as he met Kakashi's quizzical gaze. "I have hands, even if I use a softer touch than you do."
"Softer touch everywhere?" Kakashi asked, curious.
"Not everywhere," Itachi said. "And I usually didn't have anything to ease the way."
Kakashi allowed himself a very pleasant moment to consider that image, Itachi in a stolen moment to himself, gently teasing his dick with one hand while he fucked himself fast and dry with the fingers of the other. At the same time, he upgraded to three fingers, testing just how easily Itachi could take it. It was tighter than before, and Itachi hissed a breath at the intrusion, but that expression on his face was not discomfort.
Kakashi had told himself in the bathroom as he'd washed up that he wasn't a brute. He had told himself as he dried his hair with the wind jutsu that if he ever did have sex with Itachi—if Itachi ever decided he was interested for real and not because he thought it was part of some fucked up deal that Kakashi would protect his little brother if he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to Itachi's body, however hurt that left him—that anything they did would be gentle, slow, a careful extension of fledgling trust and act to grow that trust into something even stronger.
Itachi didn't move his arms, but he spread his legs in obvious welcome, and Kakashi couldn't bring himself to say no to that. He slicked up his dick, hiked Itachi's legs up over his shoulders, practically folding him in half, and slid inside Itachi's warm, eager body, keeping careful watch on Itachi's face. Itachi was right. He was very flexible.
"I want—" Itachi's voice cut off as Kakashi shifted back experimentally. His legs trembled when Kakashi thrust back in.
Kakashi was curious what Itachi wanted. To be able to move his arms again? To get to be the one on top, controlling the pace? To choose some other position?
Itachi's sharingan spun to life, and it was such an obvious potential threat in any circumstance that Kakashi knew he should be pulling out, that he should be trying to tie Itachi up for real, that he should be doing anything but catching Itachi's mouth in another kiss and rolling his hips again.
Itachi kept his hands where they were. When they kissed, he kept his eyes open. Whenever their mouths separated, his lips stayed parted. He gave hitched little gasps every few thrusts, little bitten off sounds of pleasure that contrasted delightfully with the sounds of skin against skin, with the wet sounds Kakashi's dick made as it moved in and out of Itachi's hole.
It was a waste of chakra. Itachi might take it as a threat despite having done the very same thing. And yet—Kakashi channeled chakra to his borrowed eye, opening it to take in the sight before him, underneath him. This eye had memorized so many unpleasant things for Kakashi, but this was something he was all too happy to remember, Itachi's expression turning transcendent as he neared and reached his second peak.
Kakashi fucked him through it, and then he said, knowing he could go a short while longer yet, "You can move move your hands now." Before Itachi could move them very far, Kakashi added, "I want you to touch yourself."
"I don't think I was wrong to believe my former captain is a bit of a sadist," Itachi said, but he didn't sound upset about it—sounded amused actually—and he followed instructions beautifully, immediately holding himself with a grip that matched Kakashi's before and pulling at a speed that had to hurt.
"So long as you like it," Kakashi said. The bonus of Itachi's arms no longer being above his head was that it gave Kakashi better access to his neck. It was a little awkward, Itachi's hand between them, Kakashi unable to stop fucking into Itachi's warm, eager body, the angle a bit wrong, but Kakashi made it work, sinking his teeth into the join of Itachi's shoulder and neck, biting and sucking a mark that could be hidden but could also very easily be flaunted, could show exactly what Itachi had wanted Kakashi to do to him. It was with that thought, Kakashi's mark on Itachi's neck blooming in the light of morning, that Kakashi finally came.
Kakashi was disciplined. He wasn't a twenty year old who'd just shot his first load with a partner. (That was his adorable husband, underneath him, though technically it had been his second.) Kakashi didn't collapse, however much he wanted to.
Itachi, on the other hand, didn't seem to care that Kakashi was going soft inside of him, clenching very distractingly as he continued to jerk himself off.
"You can go a third time already?" Kakashi asked, bracing himself with one arm so he could get a better look down at Itachi's hand, maintaining that same fast but steady speed. The head of his dick was red where it peeked out from his fist before disappearing again. Itachi's face twisted with a mix of pleasure and pain. His lower lip was trapped between white, even teeth before Itachi answered.
"You didn't tell me to stop."
Kakashi couldn't go again yet, but that made him want to. It made him want to let Itachi keep going until they knew for sure whether Itachi could come a third time just like this, Kakashi's dick held soft and safe inside him while he tortured his own.
"You can stop," Kakashi said.
Itachi gave himself three strokes before his hand came to a shuddering halt.
"Did you want to try something else?" Kakashi asked, wincing slightly as he pulled out. Itachi's yukata had done a valiant job protecting the bedding, but Kakashi thought there still might be a wet spot.
"Yes," Itachi said, no hesitation.
Some people, after having their wedding night or losing their virginity, basked in the afterglow. Itachi had always been such an overachiever in ANBU, and that hadn't changed no matter what he put his mind to. He watched Kakashi expectantly, sharingan still spinning. That had no right to be as attractive as it was. Almost every iota of Kakashi's body was screaming out danger whenever he looked at them, but his dick was doing its valiant best to get interested again.
"I don't want to wait until tomorrow." Kakashi may be a bit older, but he felt like he was a teenager again, eyeing Itachi's half-hard dick and wondering if that was some sort of bloodline limit the Uchiha had kept to themselves. "You seemed interested in being tied up and in being ridden." Kakashi grabbed the belt from Itachi's yukata, which had fortunately escaped unscathed thus far. Kakashi smiled, eyes closing with his delight. "What about now?"
Itachi grabbed the belt from his hands.
—
They didn't stay up the full night, but they came very close.
Jiraiya was right. Itachi was very easy to get along with.
—
His brother, not so much.
"What happened to your neck?" Sasuke demanded when Kakashi and Itachi shuffled into the kitchen that morning. The upside was that Sasuke hadn't woken them up despite rising as early as Itachi had threatened. The downside was the little monster had taken Kakashi's newly stocked, freshly cleaned kitchen and turned it into a disaster zone cooking breakfast.
"I'll tell you when you're older," Itachi said, starting a kettle for tea. He looked very pleased. "Did you make us breakfast?"
"I made you breakfast," Sasuke said grumpily.
Kakashi wondered if it was too late to back out of this.
Itachi poked his crabby little brother in the forehead and somehow did not get his finger bitten off. He assembled a tray of food from Sasuke's attempt at breakfast and said, "Then I'll have to share it with my husband."
Kakashi sat next to Itachi, ignoring stared daggers from his apprentice as a future problem, and tried the food. It tasted exactly as good as Kakashi would expect from a child who'd been raised mostly on take-out and field rations. Kakashi added cooking lessons to his plans for Sasuke's future course of study.
"I think that this marriage is going to work out very well," Itachi said.
—
And to Kakashi's surprise, it did.