Archive of Our Own ^beta

Welcome to the 28th edition of Fic talk. Today we are talking to DrabblingForDopamine who has written “Sticky Wicket” and a story that was one of the first fics I read, together with the Vignettes of a Life Lived Together, “Wish You Were Here.” 

Thank you so much for joining. I loved Wish You Were Here and Still Wishing You Were Here so much. Cried a lot too. You are such a talented writer. How did you come up with that storyline?

CAUTION: Spoilers for D4D’s stories ahead.

Thank you for asking me. I would say it was probably pure indignance. PhoenixSpring was writing the beginning of what would become I Would Move Mountains and bouncing a few ideas around about Nick being a single father. It highlighted the imbalance in single parent Nick or Charlie stories. a completely understandable imbalance given the likelihood of a Bi guy vs a Gay guy accidentally impregnating someone, but it made me indignant on Charlie’s behalf and my brain started to come up with scenarios where Charlie would be the one left holding a baby. Tori dying and leaving him her child seemed to be the most feasible, but Michael also needed to be out of the way as well. That’s why there was so much death to begin with. It was necessary for the premise of the story to work.

Funny story, I didn’t consider it particularly angsty while I was writing it. I conceived it as a study in grief and a balancing of the NickandCharlie baby stories. Only after posting and seeing all the comments did I realise how wrenching it actually was. 

Abdel: I usually skip all angsty stuff and I do not like stories where Charlie needs to be saved by Nick. 

Me either. Charlie is strong, even if he doesn’t feel it.

You made Charlie so strong in this fic and Nick and Sarah such an addition to his life, it really is one of the best ones i’ve read. The Jane-Julio-Charlie dynamic was portrayed really well. 

If you haven’t read it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43083678/chapters/108267276

Can I ask, how did you get the idea of a sequel?

I just had a few ideas on how Nick’s life would integrate with Charlie and Millie’s, and from comments I knew there was an appetite for it. It started as just how I envisaged the big little moments happening, each one progressing from the last. Moving in, then proposal, talking about what makes a family, getting a dog, losing Nellie, the weird ways little kids think about things like grief, and ultimately Nick and Charlie preparing for the worst. It honestly didn’t start with any particular goal in mind but once Charlie and Nick had their discussion with Julio and Jane it felt finished. The turmoil and grief in the wake of Michaels accident had been felt and processed. I couldn’t write another thing in that universe. It was resolved.

Could you tell us something about yourself? 

I’m in my mid-forties and live in New Zealand, I grew up in what gets called the ‘rural heartland’ where heteronormativity prevailed. Before Heartstopper I never questioned my sexuality, but now I have no clue, I wondered for a bit if I was bi, now I think I’m probably demi or somewhere on that sliding scale. The TLDR is that I’m a woman, married to a man, and thinking about it much more than that is not something I have time for. I have three kids and I’m putting my energy into raising them to be confident in themselves, whether that is as an ally or part of the queer community.

I have ADHD, Heartstopper was my first big hyperfixation as I figured that out. Like most ADHDers I cycle through hobbies like the changing of the seasons. Lately I’ve been embroidering leaves over my denim jacket, and as some already know, I play a bit of cricket (badly, but one doesn’t actually have to be good at your hobbies). 

Who is your favorite author outside AO3? Favorite book? What kind of music do you like and what song says you? Favorite food?

You’re asking an ADHDer for favourites? It changes with the winds. I recently learnt that for the Neurotypicals it’s not actually one thing they love above all else, just something they like in the moment and that has been so freeing. I go through phases of who or what I read. Lately I’ve been reading lots of non-fiction, particularly to do with town planning and cycling infrastructure. I got a cargo e-bike for Christmas last year and it sent me down a rabbit hole.

Music depends on what I feel I need in the moment.  I love musicals for longer trips - the story over two hours engages me in a way a list of pop songs won’t, I think it’s the up and down of emotions that hold me - and it’s something I share with my kids, we all sing along in the car together, and I love stuff I can belt along with. I really like P!NK. I think because she sings about being the weird one that doesn’t fit in. “ So raise your glass if you are wrong, In all the right ways ” always feels like me. And when my husband is being particularly annoying “ Just give me a reason, just a little bit"s enough, Just a second, we"re not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again .’ reminds me of the lovely things about him and we are going to piss each other off and it doesn’t mean my world is going to fall apart.  

Abdel: I went to Pink’s concert a few weeks ago in Amsterdam! I played her and Etana as something for my daughter to listen to. Strong female leads. My favorites are “Stupid girls” and “Fuckin’perfect.” I made Tara do a dance on her weddingday to Darcy on that. She is also very sincere in what she does. I totally get what you mean with Raise your glass.

I went to P!NK in Dunedin a few months ago with my sister. The show was fantastic. I used Kelly Clarkson songs for my Tara and Darcy story chapter titles.  A lot of Kelly Clarkson songs are emotional belters; the themes and lyrics fit so well with what I was trying to do in Stronger

How did you get invested in Heartstopper?

It popped up on my Netflix algorithm. I was away with my sisters for a weekend and they didn’t show an interest, so I watched it myself when we got back. Then watched it immediately again. Then again with my eldest kid who was ten or eleven at the time. Then I found the comics online, read through them, binged the show a few more times, and started a continuation in my head which eventually became Grown Ups , the first story in the Vignettes universe. 

What Character from Heartstopper do you identify with the most?

Jane and Sarah without a doubt. Like many I try to be a Sarah, but have my Jane moments ‘cause parenting well is hard.

How did you get into fic writing? Have you written something  before?

I’ve been a fanfic reader for over two decades, and through probably two dozen or more fandoms. I started out when stories were not all in one place, each fandom had their own hosting sites. I wrote a few stories in a certain fandom, filling in some missing moments that She Who I Will Not Name didn’t write. That would have been in about 2010. I kept reading, fanfiction.net came along putting lots of fandoms in one place, which was a gamechanger. I kept reading, then I found AO3 and kept reading. This was back in the day when you needed an account just to read the stories (if I’m remembering that correctly) I didn’t write anything else until I felt the need to write down a continuation of Heartstopper, then another, then the rest of the now 17 stories of the Vignettes Universe, and the other bits along the way.

Can you name your favorite part of one of your fics and why is it your fave? ( maybe we can include that bit?)

 I’m proudest of Stronger   (my Tara and Darcy story) and Sticky Wicket . Stronger was a difficult story for me. I started with the idea to write maybe 6K on Tara and Darcy in the VIgnettes universe, it ended up 96K and really involved. It was my most clearly plotted story up to that point, and there was a lot of tracking and cross-referencing with the rest of the Vignettes. Erinthelibrarian came on as beta when it was at about 40K, and I needed so many more words to tell that story than I initially planned and she was an invaluable sounding board through that process.

I love the pivotal chapter in Wish You Were Here, where Charlie and Jane face off. In fact I love so much of that story, especially the non-linear structure and how that worked for the emotions I was wanting to draw out of my readers.

I love Eyeliner Pirate Charlie in Neonatal Nurse Nick Nelson. Rambling Drunken Boys in love was just fun to write and I remember the fun of it. 

I like what I did with David’s character in Pinocchio, though I cringe a bit now at the simplicity of the prose. If I were to write it now it would be a bit different, the same basic premise, but it would probably end up five times as long with a lot more introspection on David’s part.

I still think that the proposal I gave Nick and Charlie in Next of Kin rings true for their characters, and I love writing them as parents to Jimmy with a healthy Charlie, and a thriving NickandCharlie. I want to continue that story, when I find the right way to do so. 

I think my favourite parts of any of my stories are when there are conversations, Nick and Charlie had lots of good conversations in Sticky Wicket before they moved to something physical. The last of the main universe stories in Vignettes had so many conversations I named the instalment after them. I am proud of Nick and Charlie’s talk with Jimmy about sexual intimacy, especially as I wrote it before I was in contact with other writers and didn’t have anyone mlm I could have beta it for me. The responses I got for that justified the hours of research I did to try and get it right. 

Where do you get your inspiration from?

I have no idea. Stuff just comes in my head and I need to get it out. Vignettes came from a need for a realistic continuation, because I just needed more of Nick and Charlie’s story, and kept being that, whenever I thought I was done, the next bit came along. It’s been a long time since I started Vignettes, and even quite a while since I wrote something in that universe. I want to go back to it, but it’s been so long, getting back into that NickandCharlies’ heads is proving elusive.

As I said already Wish You Were Here was to bring balance to the baby stories, and Still Wishing You Were came from needing to continue that and bring a bit of closure. 

Neonatal Nurse Nick Nelson was in response to someone, I think it was ChronoBio, wanting more of Nick cuddling babies. 

Little Kid, Big Feelings was a missing moment and a challenge to write something in 800 words. At the time I was 800 words away from a lovely big round number of words written.

Rambling Drunken Boys in Love started in response to a post someone chucked in the Plot Bunny Orphanage that tickled my brain, and I just had to get it down. I think I set a record. It was about six hours, from seeing the suggestion, to posting, including beta-ing.

Sticky Wicket came to me as I was covering a class for someone, and wandering around the room while the students worked my brain wandered.  It was the start of the cricket season and Charlie and Nick just struck me as archetypes of the classical batsman and the gloryhound slogger. At the end of the lesson I sat through my break and typed out all my brain was throwing at me. It started in my head as just the scene where Nick admits his feelings to Charlie (if you have read it, yeah that scene) but I couldn’t just write it as a proposition and smut. I had to flesh it out a bit so the smut would work (that’s one of the bits that made me think, maybe demi?)  then it became the 146K story with Bloody Jamin, fighting institutional homophobia, playing tourist, and teaching cricket to people around the world. 

There are also aspects of Sticky Wicket that I am really proud of, in seeding ideas that would come together later, like Nick’s nickname from the team, and the reveal of [spoilers} Nick’s neurodivergence. I think Sticky Wicket is a bit unusual, in that they both acknowledge their attractions but they still have lots of reservations about starting a relationship and take their time to figure that out. At least it feels like a long time. By the in-universe calendar it’s not really that long.

 I reread Wish You Were Here recently and I was really proud of the same thing there, the little hints  that made everyone think they knew what had happened, but they couldn’t be sure, but it was still a gutpunch when all was revealed.

Is there a point you are trying to make in your fics? Something you want your readers to get from your fics?

Not usually, or at least not intentionally, though I do have a tendency to try and redeem characters, or at least show their inner workings for readers to give them more grace. My first story in that other fandom was a redemption story and I’ve continued that, David working on himself first in Pinocchio then in Daddy Issues , Charlie demanding Jane put the work in, and her meeting the challenge, in Wish You Were Here . I’m what a few of us have called a Jane apologist, by which we see her as very human and trying to do her best, but not always getting it right.`As someone who feels chronically misunderstood and is overly verbose in an effort to clarify I guess I like to make sure my words are crafted to hit right.

Which fic by another writer should the readers read right now?

I think everyone who can stomach the angst should try Radclyffe’s Beyond Endurance , and their current WIP Heartless .

There’s the usual roll call of authors who write great stuff. KSO, NelliesaysBork, 

 Frogcakes Ultraviolet is special to me, not just because it was the first thing I beta’d but also because so many aspects of those Australian summers are reflective of my Kiwi childhood summers. Nothing Happens In Geraldine by Istof4u actually takes place in a town I’m familiar with so that’s also fun.
Scienceisreal’s Rugby Sweater Weather universe is delightful. Contrary to the generally held opinion, it wasn’t an inspiration for Sticky Wicket , I sat on that idea for ages while I slogged away at Stronger (it didn’t get a lot of love at the time, probably because it’s a side pair not N/C) , but it took so long for me to get around to writing and posting SW , that when I finally did, RSW had shown how a sports based story with lots of extra characters could be done and set a high bar. What I did take from UV and RSW was the use of a glossary and extensive endnotes to educate. 

I’m trying to think of lesser known stories that I love, to bring extra attention to,  but I am terrible with names of both writers and stories so thoughts are failing me. Right now I’m reading charlienick’s knit to the soul series that has a Jewish Charlie, and I just finished AhimsaJax’s Gymnastics AU. I love stories that explore emotional depths and/or teach me about things I don’t know.

In general I’m fussy about stories that have correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. I can overlook US spellings, and quirky ESOL language structure, but an absence of capital letters, paragraph structure, or speech marks does my head in.

Any plans for future fics? I check regularly but you haven’t written lately. Will there be new stories?

I had COVID over Christmas and it took me a really really long time, about six months, to feel back to fully functional, and it sapped my writing mojo. I hope to do more writing, but I don’t want to force it. I have started a story for the season three countdown, in the same universe as one of the two stories I wrote for season two’s countdown. I’m hoping that kick starts the muse and the stories will flow again.

I have ideas for a few more stories in the Vignettes universe. One at the end of Jimmy’s time in Nick and Charlie’s care, One that covers some of Vignettes Olly’s journey, from where we see him leave Kent in Social Change in Roman Britain, touching on the bits of his story we see in Stronger, and taking him beyond. I have plans for Imogen as well. So there are ideas for three more vignettes, I’m just waiting on the inspiration/inclination to strike. 

Frogcakes and I had a tentative plan for a NZ Charlie/Australian Nick story, and PhoenixSpring and I mulled over some plans for a Wish You Were Here/I Would Move Mountains crossover, but none of us have the time to make good on those at the moment. 

Thank you so much for the interview, I really enjoyed it!