Archive of Our Own ^beta

Now. 

The sea breeze ruffles Wooyoung’s lengthy bangs, brushing the hair across his eyes and obscuring his vision. 

Yunho stands next to him, not too close, elbows brushing occasionally as they lean on the cracked wooden railing of the boardwalk. He’s smiling in an almost sad way and Wooyoung wonders if he’s also remembering . 

Wooyoung threads his fingers through his unruly hair, tinged with a bit of saltwater from the ocean spray and stares back out over the sunlit waves. He uses this time to slip back into a fond memory from the last time they stood on this beach. 

  Before. 

It’s 2017 and they’ve just graduated. Wooyoung feels the pure euphoria rushing through his veins as he sprints across the commons, passing by all their classmates to jump into Yunho’s waiting arms. 

Yunho catches him perfectly, as he always does, and spins Wooyoung around in his arms, laughter tinkling his ears. It’s always been like this between them. Yunho is there to catch Wooyoung whenever he needs, physically or metaphorically. Yunho has been Wooyoung’s shoulder to lean on throughout their high school years and Wooyoung can finally do something in return. 

When Yunho releases him, setting him down gently and patting Wooyoung’s bangs back into place, Wooyoung rolls his eyes and allows the mild fussing before Yunho’s touch becomes too much. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Wooyoung leans in to whisper just as their parents find them in the mass of students. He jerks away quickly, face tinted with the barest hint of red. They’re naturally quite touchy with each other but Yunho’s parents are eyeing him in a way that makes Wooyoung’s chest tighten. 

Yunho, oblivious to his internal struggles, simply smiles and squeezes Wooyoung’s hand briefly before letting go, “Let me know at dinner?”

Dinner. Right. Their families had coordinated a big dinner for the pair of them at an upscale restaurant. Wooyoung would have to sit through an hours long social event disguised as a congratulatory dinner with Yunho’s parents staring him down the entire time. 

They’re both pulled into respective hugs by their families, passed around and patted on the head, squeezed on the cheek and kissed by far too many older family members. Eventually, they make all their rounds, take enough pictures and are finally making their way back to their respective cars. 

Wooyoung parts with Yunho then as they approach the parking lot and has to remind himself that today is a day of posturing and pleasing the family members. Tomorrow they will be on their way to Jeju for a week. No one to tell them what to do or how to act. No one to stare daggers at Wooyoung when he stands just the slightest bit too close to Yunho. 

The drive to the restaurant takes about an hour with all the traffic of the day, he’s sure there’s going to be several other people from his graduating class at the place as well - it’s a popular spot for grads. 

Wooyoung’s family is second to arrive and he piles out of the car following his little brother who giggles and tugs on Wooyoung’s hand to pull him into the place. He’s chattering on about all the games he wants to play with Wooyoung now that he’s going to be free all summer and about all the places Wooyoung is going to drive him around and it would be cute if Wooyoung wasn’t so focused on the way Yunho stands a head taller than the rest of his family, his profile blocking out the sparkling chandelier behind him. 

Wooyoung’s heart lurches in his chest and his fingers tingle that same way they always do when he stares at Yunho for too long. Another tug to his hand pulls him back to the present and he bends down to listen to whatever Kyungmin is telling him. 

“Are you going to sit next to him?” Kyungmin says with a pout and a sour look sent to the taller man and it pulls a snort from Wooyoung. He ruffles his little brother’s hair and pushes him along to follow behind the rest of their family. 

“Yes, but you can sit on my other side okay?” Wooyoung whispers with a soft smile and Kyungmin narrows his eyes at him for a moment before conceding with crossed arms and a puffed chest. 

They’re led into a very spacious private room where they all take a seat on the cushions provided and Yunho’s elbow bumps into Wooyoung’s thigh when they fold down onto their seats. He glances over and apologizes to Wooyoung briefly who only pinches his thigh in retaliation, causing Yunho to throw a playful glare his way.

Once settled, their families start with the ordering, practically getting one of every dish on the menu and Wooyoung busies himself with talking to some of his family members he didn’t get to before. His aunt asks him about University and he launches into the practiced spiel he and Yunho have gone through hundreds of times since they got their acceptance letters.  

She slips into her own spiel, asking him about future plans. A family. A girlfriend. Children. Wooyoung finds his throat drying and chest growing heavy, he doesn’t even notice the bouncing of his knee until Yunho’s hand finds its way there, forcing him to stop. 

Wooyoung freezes but doesn’t pull his eyes away from his aunt, instead his own hand comes to tentatively cover Yunho’s. He feels Yunho’s thumb reach up to brush against the outside of Wooyoung’s palm and he has to fight back the smile that threatens to break through his carefully concentrated gaze he directs towards his family. 

They sit like that until food is brought out and everyone digs in, conversation halting while food is sorted onto plates and passed around. Wooyoung frowns at the lack of meat on Yunho’s plate and grabs more than a few pieces, piling them up on his best friend’s plate. Yunho grins at him, cheeks stuffed full like a chipmunk at the action and Wooyoung has to look away for fear of being a bit too obvious in his returning grin. He bites the inside of his cheek, tamping down that too fond smile that always sits on his face when he stares at Yunho and when he glances back up, Yunho’s father is staring blankly at him, metal chopsticks sliding together in a way that leaves Wooyoung feeling uneasy. 

He spends his time talking to Kyungmin and Yunho while they eat, opting to pretend his family doesn’t exist for the moment. Wooyoung isn’t sure what he’d do if Yunho’s father glares at him one more time. 

“Time for gifts?” Wooyoung’s mother interrupts the idle chatter everyone has settled into after the meal has been mostly finished. Everyone around them nods in agreement and begins to pull envelopes out of their bags and a few small wrapped presents here and there. Wooyoung himself pulls out an envelope of his own which gets a curious look from Yunho. He winks in return, “My surprise, remember?”

Kyungmin practically leaps from the cushion to run over and grab the present from their mother, “I want to give it to Wooyoung first!” It earns giggles from everyone in the room and Wooyoung rolls his eyes fondly and combs his fingers through Kyungmin’s hair when he returns with a wrapped box in tow. 

His brother grins at him and it’s all teeth and scrunched cheeks while he hands him the box. The chatter around him quiets in anticipation when Wooyoung accepts it and carefully unwraps it to reveal a pair of Adidas shoes that Wooyoung notices are actually personalized. Kyungmin positively beams when Wooyoung pulls them out of the box to inspect them. They’re black and white with Wooyoung’s initials on the heel and several designs tastefully scattered around the rest of the shoe, all personal things Wooyoung has mentioned before or anything that’s special to him. It’s an extremely personal gift and Wooyoung chances a glance at his parents to see them send a quick wink in his direction before he pulls Kyungmin into his arms with a squeak and plants a big, wet kiss to his forehead. 

“You did a really good job, you little cutie,” Wooyoung tells him, squeezing him just a bit tighter and sucking in a breath when his emotions threaten to overtake him. He holds back a sniffle, wiping his nose with the crook of his elbow when he pulls back from the hug and ignores the way Kyungmin’s own eyes have watered up. Wooyoung ruffles his head once again for good measure when he takes a seat again. His little brother helps with the rest of the presents, running back and forth between his family members and Wooyoung, bringing him all the envelopes of money and gift vouchers.

To his side, Yunho is accepting gifts of his own and Wooyoung glances over when he’s gone particularly quiet to see a very expensive looking necklace in his hands. He sees Yunho’s older brother smiling fondly at him. 

Much too soon, the gifts are all given out and all that remains is Wooyoung’s surprise gift to Yunho. The room is yet again silent as Wooyoung turns to Yunho and hands him the envelope. 

Yunho looks mildly embarrassed, ear tips reddened, “I didn’t get you anything though,” he tries to say but Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes the envelope further in his grip. 

“Oh shut up and take the gift. You can pay me back some other way,” he remarks and sits back, trying to calm his nerves. Wooyoung really had wanted to give it to Yunho in secret before, scared of his reaction, but there really was no more time left. They’d be leaving tomorrow anyway. 

With a baited breath, Yunho thumbs open the envelope and scans the tickets quickly. Wooyoung can pinpoint the moment when it clicks for his friend because Yunho’s eyes widen significantly and his grip tightens just slightly on the envelope before his free hand reaches down to squeeze Wooyoung’s thigh. He turns to face Wooyoung then, eyes darting between him and the tickets. 

“Are you serious?” Yunho questions excitedly, eyes still flickering back and forth between Wooyoung and the tickets but now to his own parents. When he glances at them, Wooyoung watches as his expression falls for the briefest of moments. To anyone else, it would’ve been easy to miss but Wooyoung has spent years watching Yunho’s micro expressions, learning everything and anything about his best friend. He knows that look. Yunho is scared. 

“As a heart attack,” Wooyoung answers, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth while he waits for Yunho’s answer. Of course, he already booked everything, so he hopes Yunho won’t turn him down but there’s always that slight chance he could. That he could tell Wooyoung that it’s too much. That it’s strange. That he is strange – too much . 

“What is it?” Yunho’s father pipes up from where he’s seated, chin tilted up in question. Wooyoung’s eyes cut between him and his own parents who watch the scene unfold with an expression he can’t quite make work of. 

Yunho glances at the tickets once more then over at his father with a hesitant smile, “Wooyoung booked us a trip to Jeju for a week. We leave tomorrow.” Wooyoung doesn’t say that he booked the trip so close to their graduation on purpose so Yunho’s parents couldn’t talk him out of it. 

He swears Yunho’s father’s eye twitches at his son’s words before turning his piercing gaze on Wooyoung.

“Just the two of you?” The man questions and Wooyoung watches as his wife’s hand settles on his forearm, squeezing. 

Wooyoung nods, “That’s correct. Plane tickets are already bought as well.” He makes sure to add that bit out of spite. Try and talk him out of it now. 

Yunho’s father’s tongue clicks and he says nothing further on the matter. Though, it’s not like he needs to. The disappointment and anger is written on his face as clear as day. 

A tense silence falls over the private room until Kyungmin cracks a joke and everyone dissolves into laughter, giggling and telling their own little jokes and stories like nothing ever happened. 

Wooyoung doesn’t even realize he’s completely spaced out until he feels Yunho’s fingers brush against his, hidden by the slightly raised table. His head jerks up, meeting Yunho’s tender gaze and he squeezes their fingers together once. 

“I’m happy,” Yunho whispers. A squeeze. “Wooyoung, I’m really happy.” He punctuates the statement with a final squeeze and a look that makes Wooyoung’s breath catch in his throat. He can’t breathe past the lump frozen there. 

It takes him a moment but Wooyoung can finally speak. “Me too,” he murmurs hoarsely. Me too. 

–

That night, Wooyoung’s mother hugs him when they step through the threshold of their family home. She holds him tightly and Wooyoung inhales her flowery perfume, tucking his face into her shoulder. 

“You know I love you right?” She whispers. “I love you no matter what. Always.” She squeezes him once more, just shy of too tight and pulls him back to arms length. Runs her hands up and down the crinkled sleeves of his dress shirt before giving him a proud but tearful smile. “You’ve grown up so beautifully my dear.” 

Wooyoung opens his own mouth to respond because there’s something in her gaze, something behind her words that makes him think there’s more than one thing she’s trying to say but she pulls him into another hug before he can. “Make this a special trip okay?” 

–

After a short plane ride then a decently long taxi ride, they make it to their Airbnb Wooyoung booked. 

It’s a little cottage, on the slightly newer side, that sits just a stone's throw away from the shore. Definitely out of his budget but he worked hard saving up money from the entire last year of his high school career just to plan out this trip. He had no other plan really except to spend all his time with Yunho before they would eventually have to haul off to Yonsei and become ‘real adults’. 

Yunho is sprawled out on the king sized bed when Wooyoung returns from inspecting all areas of the house. His eyes are closed but he’s humming along to a song they had listened to in the taxi with shared headphones. 

Wooyoung wastes no time throwing himself on top of his friend who grunts with Wooyoung’s weight but wraps his arms around him nonetheless. His fingers run up and down Wooyoung’s back gently and he peeks one eye open in question. 

“What’s the plan for today?” 

“We gotta go to the store…get some food…” Wooyoung hums against the skin of Yunho’s neck. “Lazy day after that. The rest of the week is up to you. I just wanted to get us here.”

Yunho tilts his head then, getting a better angle to stare at Wooyoung. “You’re telling me, you booked us a trip here but didn’t plan anything at all?” He pinches the back of Wooyoung’s neck and Wooyoung bites the tender skin of Yunho’s exposed collarbone before rolling off onto the bed. 

“I was hoping we could be spontaneous,” Wooyoung mutters and shoves Yunho’s shoulder playfully. “Plus, I brought my camera so I thought we could film some stuff maybe.”

“Yeah? That sounds like fun actually,” Yunho answers and sits up, tugging Wooyoung along with him. “Fine, let’s go get some food and I’ll think of things for us to do while we’re here since I’ve gotta be the responsible one.”

He pulls Wooyoung around the little cottage, never letting go of his fingers until they've slid on their shoes and stepped outside into the mild weather of Jeju. It's a decently far walk to the closest store but Wooyoung brings his camera and walks backward in front of Yunho while he films. 

"You're gonna fall if you keep walking like that," Yunho warns, reaching for the camera and Wooyoung playfully jumps out of the way each time his hand reaches out. He giggles when Yunho lurches forward but misses and almost does exactly what he'd warned Wooyoung about. 

They make it to the small store after about half an hour, though that might have more to do with the fact that they kept stumbling around and laughing at dumb things the other did throughout the entire walk. 

Wooyoung grabs a basket by the front door but Yunho snatches it from him almost immediately, twirling out of his reach and heading down one of the aisles. 

He follows behind Yunho after rolling his eyes and they grab whatever looks good, not really focusing on anything other than meat and chips. They grab a few pints of ice cream and three different boxes of Melona pops before heading up to the register with an overflowing basket and arms. 

The ajumma at the register gives them a raised brow but makes no further conversation, simply bagging their groceries and sending them off with a smile. 

Wooyoung dutifully takes one of the heavier bags as an apology for making Yunho walk this whole way and passes him one of the opened Melona bars. Yunho bites it out of his hand and Wooyoung laughs before pulling out his camera again to record the scenery of their walk back home. He gets a few particularly hilarious videos of Yunho’s brain freeze when he tries to eat the Melona a bit too quickly and the video blurs when Wooyoung rushes to wipe all the sticky fruit juice from Yunho’s chin. 

“You’re such a dork,” Wooyoung grumbles with a fond grin, using his flannel to get the remaining liquid from Yunho’s chin, “Who tries to eat the whole thing in one bite?” 

Yunho scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully, jumping after Wooyoung with the ice cream and threatening to poke his cheek with it. “I’m an overachiever!” Yunho shouts in answer to Wooyoung’s shrieks while they run along the path back, camera still recording, though it only manages to catch their sounds and far too many moving clips. 

They make it back to the Airbnb with melted tubs of ice cream and lettuce that took one too many falls from their bags but they power through it and Yunho washes the leaves within an inch of their lives while Wooyoung grills some of the meat on the back porch. 

He’s just finished grilling when he hears a frustrated grunt from the kitchen and Wooyoung walks in with the tray full of cooked meat to see Yunho staring down at the cutting board like it’s kicked his puppy. In a way, it kind of has. 

Wooyoung sets the tray down on the island and peeks over Yunho’s shoulder to reveal roughly chopped vegetables that even Kyungmin could cut better. He pinches Yunho’s sides and jumps back to avoid the flailing, retaliating arms of his much taller friend and almost knocks over the tray of meat. 

“I thought you’d be done with these by now?” Wooyoung snorts and takes the knife from Yunho to chop them a bit finer. He feels Yunho settle behind him, chin digging into the space between his neck and shoulder. Yunho’s arms circling his waist. “Some of these are fine! You did an okay job, you big puppy, don’t get too beat up over it, even if you aren’t used to being the best at something,” Wooyoung mentions, ruffling Yunho’s head after a moment of chopping. 

Yunho butts his head against Wooyoung’s before answering with a sad moan, “But the meat is going to get cold now.” He huffs and Wooyoung snorts, bumps their heads together again. 

“Don’t worry, we can reheat it, the fire isn’t going anywhere. Plus now I know to have you grill the meat,” Wooyoung laughs and feels Yunho’s laugh reverberating through their bodies. Everything is warm. He hums, letting their heads gently rest against each other for the remaining time it takes to chop the vegetables and the cloves of garlic Yunho completely forgot about. Yunho’s heart beats solidly against his back and he can only hope his doesn’t thud too loudly in his own chest. 

The last hour of sunlight, they spend sitting out in the backyard that leads directly out to a private beach, filling their stomachs with grilled meat and vegetables. They talk about anything and everything and laugh a little too hard when Wooyoung shoves a lettuce wrap at Yunho’s closed mouth and spills their precious meat. 

As the sun just barely peeks over the horizon, shedding its last rays across the shifting ocean, Wooyoung flicks his gaze up to Yunho, who stands at the railing. His friend isn’t even paying attention to him, simply staring out over the ocean with a gentle smile of contentment. The sea breeze ruffles his hair and a golden halo surrounds him. There’s that feeling again, deep inside Wooyoung’s stomach. All consuming warmth and affection and it takes all the carefully crafted willpower not to open his mouth and ruin the moment by confessing something neither of them are ready to hear. But Wooyoung aches. His heart trembles in his chest and when Yunho turns his head, just slightly, those sunrays catch on his soft cheekbones and he smiles. He smiles at Wooyoung like there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing. 

A silly memory pops up in his mind then. Back during school when they were learning about space and physics and everything that completely bored Wooyoung. Except there was always one thing that stuck in his mind and it’s for this very moment. This very reason. 

The sun has the strongest gravitational pull in their solar system. 

How fitting that it shines so brightly on Yunho and Wooyoung is helpless in his own fight against gravity. 

–

Yunho wakes Wooyoung at the literal ass-crack of dawn and he moans, rolling away from his friend's gentle touch and teasing laughter. 

“Five more minutes, please,” he pleads to deaf ears because Yunho easily picks him up anyway, bridal style, albeit a bit terribly because he grabs the back of Wooyoung’s neck and practically chokes him while walking into the kitchen. 

He dumps a sleep-riddled Wooyoung onto one of the island barstools and Wooyoung pouts the entire time until Yunho places a warm cup of coffee in front of him. 

“I wanted to get to the rental car place early so we can still have the rest of the day to do things,” Yunho explains while leaning against the island. He sips his own coffee while trying to hide a smile behind his cup. 

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Wooyoung huffs and tries to rub the sleep out of his eyes after another big gulp of coffee. 

Yunho chuckles and reaches a hand out to brush back Wooyoung’s hair, sorting it into place with nimble fingers. “Your hair is a mess in the morning, just looked funny,” he shrugs and pats Wooyoung’s head when he deems his hair ‘good enough’. 

Wooyoung buries his face in his mug to hide the warmth that has betrayed him and risen to his cheeks. 

The sun still hasn’t fully risen yet by the time they stumble out of the house and into the taxi Yunho had the sense to call ahead and arrange. The cost nearly sends Wooyoung into cardiac arrest but Yunho assures him that he’ll pay for the rental car and Wooyoung deflates only slightly. He’s definitely going to be tracking his spending a lot closer. 

When they arrive at the airport car rental spot, Wooyoung trudges sleepily behind a ‘still too awake’ Yunho and lets him do all the sweet talking to the rental car agent. 

Everything is going great until she asks for Yunho’s license and stares at them with a frown. 

“Neither of you are 21, you’re not legally allowed to rent a car yet,” she states plainly and they both stare back at her in confusion. 

“What?” Yunho asks after a moment of silence. “Is there some way I can have my parents vouch for me or sign something?” 

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you boys.” Her voice is firm, leaving no room for any sort of haggling or bargaining or pleading. Wooyoung has half a mind to throw a bit of a fit because so far nothing during this trip has gone right and he can't decide whether to cry or have a bit of a meltdown. 

Yunho stares at her with a frown in that way he does when he's actually frustrated and for the briefest of moments Wooyoung feels a different kind of warmth spread through him. He knows Yunho isn't mad at her personally but whenever he does put on that angry face, something almost electric thrums under the surface of Wooyoung's skin. It's... hot. He reminds himself that now isn't really the best time to be thinking about his friend in that way but it's the only other thing his mind can cling to, lest it decide to choose the other two options and send him into a panic. 

They leave the rental office with considerably less money and heavier hearts. 

"Hey, don't worry about it, I'm sure there's some places we can go to closer to the Airbnb," Yunho tries to reassure Wooyoung as they walk aimlessly. He bumps his shoulder into Wooyoung's and tries his best to give a hopeful look and for some reason, it kind of works. Though, Wooyoung thinks that has everything to do with the fact that he's a little in love with Yunho and little to do with the fact that his words are actually reassuring. 

"Since we're here, we might as well walk along that rainbow road right?" Wooyoung suggests and points to the colorful blocks that line the beachside street in the distance. "There's the lighthouse at the end of the pier too." 

Yunho smiles and grabs Wooyoung's hand, pulling him forward. "You brought your camera too right?" 

Wooyoung shuffles through the bag at his side and pulls out the camera, wiggling it in Yunho's face. 

"Good," Yunho grins, his eyes shifting to a look he dons often. Wooyoung knows that mischievous smile. "Cause you're gonna record me beating you to the coast," he announces and doesn't even give Wooyoung a second to prepare himself before he's off, sprinting down the road towards the ocean path. 

"You asshole!" Wooyoung shouts and turns on his camera while running after Yunho. He's laughing as he tries to flip open the screen and focus it on his friend running ahead of him. 

Yunho turns around, mid sprint to stick his tongue out at Wooyoung, who is still trying and failing to catch up to him, their combined laughter turning the heads of a few locals walking by them. Wooyoung's camera has trouble focusing but he giggles when he catches Yunho almost tripping over a crack in the concrete. 

Of course, Yunho does beat him in their little race - his hands slapping against an indigo colored concrete block as he slams against it, winded. Wooyoung arrives a few seconds later, breathing heavily, hands on his knees but he can't keep the wide smile off his face when Yunho turns around and lets out a whoop of victory before slumping back against the indigo block. Wooyoung walks up with the camera, zooming in too close to his bright red face and Yunho groans, pushing the camera away. 

"I look horrible right now," he whines, "I can actually feel the redness in my face."

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and holds out his hand to pull Yunho up. "Still cute though," he says offhandedly and begins walking ahead, using his camera for the actual intended purpose, making sure to get some good shots of the ocean and scenery. He spins around to see Yunho still standing there, a little frozen and Wooyoung pulls the camera away from his face to fix his friend with a questioning glance, "You coming or what?"

That seems to shake Yunho out of his thoughts and he rolls his own eyes fondly before catching up to Wooyoung. They spend the rest of the walk filming various things, even a little snail Wooyoung spotted on one of the colorful blocks and people watching. 

The red horse lighthouse is a little underwhelming, though Wooyoung attributes that to the fact that it's mid-morning and quite cloudy and windy. It is December after all and although Jeju has milder winters, it seems today is simply full of bad weather. 

They can only spend so long staring at two horse shaped lighthouses before the sight becomes a bit overdone and Wooyoung swaps out his filming camera to take some pictures on his phone. He snaps a few of Yunho alone, his silhouette dark against the grey clouded backdrop and then takes a few selfies of their faces smashed together - much to Yunho's chagrin. 

When the weather takes a turn for the worse and Wooyoung feels a raindrop hit his nose in the middle of their walk back inland, he frowns and searches up a place for them to go and wait out the rain. There's a cafe close by and Wooyoung drags Yunho there. 

It looks almost like it's run out of someone's house, completely empty save for the younger woman behind the counter. She greets them warmly and gives them a moment to look over the menu. Yunho stares at all the options with a little pout, like he can't decide what he wants and Wooyoung shakes his head fondly. "I'll order for both of us, why don't you go pick out somewhere to sit?" 

Yunho lets out a rush of air and nods thankfully before heading deeper into the cafe. Wooyoung lets the ambient music surround him while he continues to look at all the options and settles on an iced latte for Yunho since he knows the other likes more plain flavored coffee and then an iced berry latte for him. He also gets them a slice of sweet corn cake for them to share. 

"I'll bring it to you when it's ready," the worker tells him with a smile and Wooyoung heads off to find where Yunho went. 

He finds him in a little alcove by the window, leaned against the wall and staring out at the light rainfall that started as they had stepped inside. Wooyoung pauses for a moment, fingers itching to take a picture and capture the moment. Yunho still hasn't noticed his presence and so he quietly pulls out his phone and snaps the picture. His phone feels heavy in his pocket when he makes his presence known and takes a seat across from Yunho on the little cushion provided. 

"You know, I kind of like when it rains like this," Yunho comments and rests his chin on the folded arms on top of his knees. The gentle rainfall patters at the window and Wooyoung watches a couple run by in the street across from them, tucked under the guys jacket and heading towards their car. Wooyoung hums to acknowledge Yunho's words but he can't pull his eyes away from the little bump of Yunho's nose and the tiny freckles that only someone close to his face would notice. He notices. He always does. 

Their drinks and food come quickly and Yunho sits up straighter, smiling warmly in thanks at the worker before thanking Wooyoung as well. "You know me so well," he says after the first sip and pinches Wooyoung's clothed knee. He scoops up some of the cake on a fork and holds it out in front of Wooyoung's mouth, gesturing and Wooyoung pouts, pretending like he can't be bothered but Yunho answers with a pout of his own and Wooyoung folds. He opens his mouth and lets Yunho feed him a piece. It's not the best cake he's had but something about the fact that Yunho is the one feeding it to him makes it taste infinitely better. 

He grabs the fork from Yunho's grasp and holds out a piece of cake for Yunho as well, "Don't let this be a repeat of the lettuce wrap incident," Wooyoung warns with a stern gaze and Yunho snorts before biting the cake off the end of the fork and moaning exaggeratedly. Wooyoung smacks his thigh as Yunho wipes his lips messily, giggling and trying to avoid Wooyoung's antics. 

Wooyoung gets messages from Kyungmin while they're eating and he and Yunho send back silly pictures and laugh at Kyungmin's silly stickers he sends in response. It's adorable and Wooyoung loves the way Yunho jokes around with his little brother, sending a goofy picture of himself and Kyungmin jokes with them. 

Yunho's mother messages him and when Wooyoung sees her name flash across the screen, he glances up to see Yunho's reaction but the other stares impassively before locking his phone and focusing on messaging Kyungmin back, teasing Wooyoung. 

Eventually, their drinks had turned to just ice and only crumbs remained of their cake. The rain still trickled outside but Wooyoung didn't really want to spend the rest of their day stuck in some cafe, even if it was nice sitting there laughing like they had no problems in the world. 

"We could rent bikes to take back? I know there's a place here that will come pick them up after we ride them too," Wooyoung suggests after they bring their tray back to the front counter and bid the worker goodbye. 

They step out into the drizzle and Wooyoung makes sure his camera is packed carefully in his bag where it wont get wet and he tilts his head up to see Yunho staring down at him. He reaches out and pinches the drop of water hanging off the end of Wooyoung's bangs, "Sounds good." 

Wooyoung pulls up the directions to the bike rental place and they do their best to stay dry as they run from awning to awning until they reach the place. 

The man who greets them frowns at the water they drip all over the place and offers them to use the bathroom to dry off while he prepares the bikes for them. 

"You both know it's going to pour later today right?" He shouts at them through the bathroom door and Wooyoung turns to Yunho with a strained look. No. They hadn't known that. He's busy patting himself dry with copious amounts of paper towels when the man tells them that and he sighs, throwing them in the trash can. A bit useless at this point since they'll apparently be getting poured on but they can't afford another costly taxi ride. 

They head out of the bathroom and the older man is on their side of the counter. There's a couple of raincoats in his arms and he holds them out in their direction. Wooyoung takes it gingerly, giving the man a questioning look.

"Are these..." he trails off and the man huffs, grumbling something like 'kids these days' before shuffling back around to the register. 

"Take 'em, and put 'em to good use," he says and grabs a few things from the shelves underneath the counter. He sets a plastic bag out and motions for Wooyoung's cloth bag, to which he hands over carefully. The older man puts Wooyoung's bag in there, expertly wrapping it up and hands it back to him. "Keep that dry," he hands them two business cards, "That's the pickup service number. Call it when you get to where you're staying and my son will come pick the bikes up." 

Yunho accepts the cards, sticking them in the back of his phone case and bows his head in thanks. Wooyoung follows, bowing graciously and the man waves them off. 

"I remember when I used to be your age," he reminisces. "Just graduated high school I take it?" 

Wooyoung and Yunho nod. 

"You picked a good place to visit then. Make your memories before you head off to enlist and whatnot. My son was just like you both," he smiles a bit before waving his hand again, "Anyway, take those and get back safe."

"Thank you sir," both of them say, bowing and then running out to grab the bikes before he waves them off again.  

Helmets hang off the handlebars and Wooyoung pouts, knowing his hair is going to be a mess by the time they arrive back, though it's not like it can be helped anymore. He clips on the helmet and turns to see if Yunho needs help. Yunho's helmet sits atop his head perfectly and he raises an eyebrow at Wooyoung when their eyes meet, biting his bottom lip to hold in a laugh. Wooyoung crosses his arms, "What?" 

Instead of answering, Yunho reaches out and unclasps the helmet, flipping it around and placing it properly on Wooyoung's head. He clips the clasps together, fingers brushing the bottom of Wooyoung's jaw and his throat constricts. It might be raining but his throat is drier than the desert. Yunho purposefully flicks his index finger on the underside of Wooyoung's chin when he pulls away. 

"Forgot how to wear a helmet? Been a non-helmet wearing delinquent for so long huh?" He teases and jumps back to avoid Wooyoung's answering slap on his bicep. 

"I'll show you delinquent ," he huffs and hops on his own bike. "Have fun getting home with no directions!" Wooyoung speeds off out of the little parking lot of the bike shop and onto the street, the rain immediately pelting his face. He hears Yunho's shout of 'Hey!' and laughs, giving the other a taste of his own medicine as he pedals faster, urging Yunho to catch up. 

Wooyoung navigates them back to their Airbnb pretty quickly, albeit longer than their taxi ride but they only had to pay $20 as opposed to the price Wooyoung doesn't even want to think about anymore. 

When they arrive, they park the bikes under the little awning meant for a car and rush inside. Thankfully the raincoats kept them mostly dry, only their faces and hair suffering. Wooyoung pulls off his helmet and has to glare at Yunho to keep him from saying anything. "You look no better, I don't wanna hear a peep from your lips," he warns with a pointed finger and Yunho mimes zipping his lips closed while they finish pulling off their dirtied clothes. 

"I'm showering first," Yunho announces once he's pulled off his shoes and sprints into the bathroom before Wooyoung can argue. 

"You're cooking dinner then!" Wooyoung shouts after him and picks up their shoes to put them outside, hopefully to dry off before tomorrow. He sets the raincoats inside the washroom on top of the drying rack. He shuffles around the little cottage, cleaning up where he can and remembers that he needs to call for the bikes. Wooyoung heads to the bathroom and knocks on the door, "Hey, I need your phone for a minute to get those cards for the bikes."

"Go ahead, it's on the counter," Yunho answers and Wooyoung cracks open the door just enough to spot the phone on the sink counter. It takes herculean levels of self control not to sneak a peek at his friend behind the frosted glass of the shower doors. 

He takes a seat on the plush couch, flipping on the television to play some random show before he pulls the business card out from behind Yunho's phone case. While waiting for the call to connect, Yunho's phone buzzes and the screen lights up to reveal over twenty messages from his parents. From the previews Wooyoung can see, they don't seem to be very pleased, though there's not much to go off of. He frowns but then the call connects and he gives their address to the bike shop owner's son. He explains he'll come in the morning since the storm might be too bad to drive in and they won't be charged extra. Wooyoung thanks them over and over again until the son - much like his father - seems to have had enough and politely ends the call. Wooyoung snorts and sets his phone down, trying to focus on the TV but the messages from Yunho's parents plague the back of his mind. 

Has Yunho been hiding these the whole time? Has he been ignoring his parents? 

He hears the shower water cut off and Yunho steps out in an oversized shirt and basketball shorts, toweling off his wet hair. He hops over the back of the couch, getting in Wooyoung's personal space. He shakes his head on Wooyoung, splattering water droplets everywhere and Wooyoung retaliates by digging his fingers into Yunho's scalp and shaking his head lightly. 

"You big, overgrown puppy, I can't stand you," he grumbles, then lets out a grunt when Yunho fully flops onto him, forcing him flat on the couch. Yunho's damp hair seeps through the shirt covering Wooyoung's stomach but he finds that he would rather pass on to the next life than get up and ruin this moment. His hands slow their movement, simply scratching Yunho's scalp while he hums in contentment, staring at the TV. 

Their position is reminiscent of the lazy summer days they used to spend at Wooyoung's house. Lying this exact same way and watching whatever his mother had been playing on the TV while she worked away in the kitchen, making dinner. Kyungmin running around in front of them, playing with whatever new toys had stolen his attention for that week. They used to lie like this often, comfortable. Familiar. 

Lately though, Yunho had been going to Wooyoung's house less and less. Began touching him less and less. 

Wooyoung thinks about the night he bought these tickets for their trip. How it had been a last ditch effort to retain that friendship he had with Yunho. To keep him from slipping away. 

Yunho had been his for years but never really his. And oh, how he wanted him to be. 

After a few moments, the wet sensation on his stomach grows slightly uncomfortable and the messages from Yunho's parents start to creep up to the forefront of his mind. Wooyoung pulls his hands away from Yunho's hair to cover his own face, stifling a frustrated groan. 

"Hey, let me get up so I can shower. I won't take long," Wooyoung tells him and glances down to see Yunho's chin propped up on his stomach, pouting. The sight sets Wooyoung's skin ablaze. Yunho stares through damp fringe and long eyelashes and the visual is simply too much for Wooyoung. All the blood in his body drains south and he rushes to push Yunho off, "You big oaf, let me up," he says, hoping to keep the urgency out of his voice. God, he can't be serious right now. Popping a boner because Yunho stared at him. Fuck, he's really lost it now. 

Yunho relents, though still pouts as he repositions himself on the couch with his legs tucked underneath him. 

Wooyoung thinks he has never showered so quick in his whole life. 

When he returns, wearing a similar outfit to Yunho, he finds his friend in the kitchen, this time not pouting. He sneaks up behind Yunho and pinches his sides, narrowly avoiding the spatula Yunho wields in retaliation. 

"You're such a little asshole," Yunho grumbles, "You know my stomach is sensitive like that and I- is that my shirt?"

Wooyoung stares down at the grey Joy Division shirt and tries to wrack his memory, “Maybe?” He answers. “You know that half of your clothes are mine by now.”

For a moment, Yunho just watches him, spatula in hand, eyes roaming like he’s debating with himself whether to say something or not and Wooyoung almost opens his mouth just to get that weird look off of his face but Yunho beats him to it. 

“Looks nice on you,” he hums and turns back to cooking. 

Wooyoung’s fingers twitch by his side and his mind runs a mile a minute, trying to figure out what in the hell just happened and when he looks back up at Yunho, he sees the tips of his ears are now a bright red. 

Oh. 

“Thank…you?” Wooyoung tries, still a little dazed. He attempts to reorient himself by sidling up to Yunho and peeking over his shoulder to watch him cook. “Looks good,” he hums and pokes his side again for good measure. 

That’s fine. That’s what they do. They joke around and they push each other’s buttons. It’s normal. It’s fine. 

He sees Yunho roll his eyes and feels him bump their hips together. “I’m no Michelin chef but I can cook you know,” Yunho says. “Chopping vegetables on the other hand…” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll chop all the vegetables in the future,” Wooyoung assures and only stops to think about the implications behind that when he leaves Yunho to his own devices and settles on the couch again. 

He flips through the different shows on Netflix because it’s the only thing this place seems to have on their TV and picks a random movie he’d been meaning to watch for a while. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see a few messages from his mom asking how the trip is going. He calls her, rather than messaging back everything they’ve been through since the start of the trip. 

She picks up and he immediately launches into all their sordid tales. His mom takes it all in, laughing at him when he talks about getting rained on. 

“Laughing at your own son’s suffering,” he laments but smiles at her answering chuckle. 

“When my son doesn’t check the weather app, of course I’m going to laugh.”

Wooyoung rolls his eyes but listens to her talk about her own past couple of days. 

A couple minutes later, Yunho comes over and scratches the back of his neck. Wooyoung tilts his head back to see Yunho standing over him from the back of the couch.

“Is that your mom?” He asks and Wooyoung nods. He leans down into Wooyoung’s space, “Hi mom,” Yunho announces just a bit too loud and Wooyoung swats him away. 

“Hi dearest,” Wooyoung’s mom answers and Wooyoung scoffs. 

“I see who your favorite is,” he grumbles to his mother and she cackles in response. 

“Yunho, sweetie, when you guys get back, come over and have dinner once more before University hmm? I’m sure you'll be too busy to come back and visit like Wooyoung will be,” she says and Wooyoung watches as a flicker of something passes across Yunho’s face before he’s smiling and answering with an, “Of course mom.” 

Wooyoung yanks his phone away, “Stop stealing my mom, you deviant. Calling me a gremlin but you’re out here parent snatching.” That seems to wipe the odd look off Yunho’s face because he’s smacking the top of Wooyoung’s head before telling him the food is ready and retreating to the kitchen. 

“I’ve gotta go,” Wooyoung tells his mom, “Love you.”

“Wait, honey, is everything going okay?” 

Wooyoung quirks his eyebrow. Is everything okay? 

“What do you mean?”

His mother is quiet for a moment. “Hmm, nevermind. I love you too. I’m glad you’re both having fun despite everything. Take good care of him, okay?” 

“I…will,” Wooyoung answers, still confused by her words but he shrugs it off as his mother and her strange ways. 

They eat again on the back deck, this time the humidity curls the short hairs at their napes and sits on the top layer of their skin. As the sun sets, the temperature drops along with it and the humidity slowly cools on their skin, leaving Wooyoung shivering as they eat. 

Yunho gets up wordlessly and heads inside the house, returning with a large grey and white flannel. He drapes it over Wooyoung’s shoulders and ruffles his hair before sitting back down in his own chair. 

Wooyoung pulls the flannel tighter, turns his head away to stare out into the pitch black horizon. The sound of the waves and all the stress from earlier in the day finally catch up to him and when he takes his last bite of their food, he feels his eyelids growing heavy. 

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me,” Yunho hums, tucking Wooyoung’s bangs behind his ear. Wooyoung’s eyes crack open, unaware he’d even shut them and he sucks in a shaky breath when Yunho’s fingertips graze his cheek on their descent. 

“Sorry,” Wooyoung mumbles, “Tired.”

He hears Yunho’s answering chuckle. “Let’s get to bed then. I was thinking tomorrow could be a lazy day since I’m sure you’re going to get sick from getting rained on.” 

Wooyoung wants to argue with him on that but he’s known for a terrible immune system. He gets caught in one rainstorm and suddenly he’s out for the count for at least a day and a half. 

Vaguely he feels Yunho lift him up like he had this morning, though much more careful than before and suddenly he’s in bed. He curls up, pulling a pillow to his chest and snuggling as close as possible. 

After what feels like an eternity later, he feels another dip in the bed behind him and he rolls over, instinctually clinging to the warmth in front of him. He digs his chin into the back of Yunho’s neck, pulling him close and humming. Yunho is entirely too warm but Wooyoung clings to it like a lifeline. He’s so happy. So happy. 

–

Wooyoung wakes slowly to a gentle breeze and an empty bed. His eyes crack open to see the window beside the bed cracked open, curtains flowing in the morning light. He shivers at the loss of warmth from the previous night and sniffles, his nose already stuffed up. Of course Yunho knows him better than he knows himself. 

He reaches across the mattress but the sheets are cold. Yunho’s been gone for a while. He tries not to let the disappointment get to him. Realistically, what had he been expecting? Yunho hasn’t been there any of the past couple mornings when he woke up either. 

Though, the previous mornings, he’d awoken to Yunho’s gentle touch and the promise of coffee. This morning when he rolls over and sits up, he hears a muted voice. He strains, trying to focus on the words but he can barely understand a thing other than the fact that Yunho seems frustrated. Wooyoung’s mind immediately goes to Yunho’s parents. Yunho only ever breaks out that tone of voice when he’s talking with his parents. 

Something dark curls in his gut. Something dark but also something that makes Wooyoung nervous. A little nauseous even. 

He wishes Yunho’s parents would come to their senses. They have the perfect son and yet, everything that comes out of their mouths seems to be something to berate him. He knows it’s probably worse now because he’s with Wooyoung and he’s having fun. Wooyoung is always reminded of how much they hate the idea that Yunho can have fun with someone other than his own family but especially someone as ‘out there’ as Wooyoung. 

He’s aware of the image he gives off and it’s not one that they would ever want their good Catholic son hanging around but they haven’t been able to push Wooyoung away yet. Most likely because of their years of attending the same prestigious high school and if they pulled Yunho out of that one and enrolled him in another, it would be admitting defeat to Wooyoung. 

University is an entirely new game to them. Wooyoung remembers opening their acceptance letters together at a big joint family dinner and the look of disgust on Yunho’s father’s face when Wooyoung had also been accepted into the same university as Yunho. Yet again, they’d lost to Wooyoung. 

He hears Yunho’s voice raise then cut off and Wooyoung figures he should stop delaying the inevitable and he rolls out of bed. 

Yunho stands in the kitchen, phone face down on the island, head hung between his shaking shoulders. 

Is he…crying?

“Yunho?” Wooyoung whispers, sniffling and sucking in a breath through a dry throat. 

He watches as Yunho’s body goes rigid for a moment before he presumably wipes his own tears and turns to face Wooyoung with red rimmed eyes. “Hey,” he mumbles, embarrassed laughter coursing through his body. Wooyoung’s heart breaks. God, he hates what Yunho’s parents do to him. 

Wordlessly, Wooyoung pads forward, socked feet sliding across the vinyl floors and he wraps his arms around Yunho’s neck, pulling him down into his space. He squeezes Yunho like his life depends on it, ignoring the sound of more sniffling from his friend. Wooyoung buries his face into Yunho’s shoulder and brings one hand up to run through the short hairs at the back of Yunho’s head. 

He doesn’t say anything because he knows there’s nothing words can fix. He can’t promise Yunho that it’s going to be okay. He can’t keep his heart safe from the cruel words his parents throw at him. All he can do is hold Yunho until that feeling subsides. Until all he knows is Wooyoung. 

–

True to Yunho’s word, Wooyoung comes down with a one day cold. His sinuses feel close to exploding and he can barely breathe, his nose completely stopped up. 

He ends up napping on the couch and wakes up to Yunho stepping through the front door, bag in hand and sheepish smile on his face. Wooyoung sits up on the couch and stares out the window to see the sun setting. 

“Please tell me I didn’t just spend the whole day sleeping,” Wooyoung moans, flopping back onto the couch and throwing an arm over his eyes. 

“You didn’t just spend a whole day sleeping,” Yunho parrots from much closer than Wooyoung expected and he peeks out from under his arm to see Yunho standing by the edge of the couch, electrolyte drink in hand. “Here, drink this while I make some soup.”

Wooyoung groans and props himself up on the arm of the couch to sip on the drink while putting on another boring show. He wants to yell at himself. Spending a whole day of their trip just sleeping alone while Yunho runs around doing everything for him. Curse him and his weak body. 

Close to an hour later, the sun has set completely and Yunho brings out two bowls of soup and some medicine, setting it all on the coffee table. 

“I know you’re beating yourself up over all of this but it’s not like we could’ve predicted the rain,” Yunho consoles, rubbing his shoulder before digging into his own bowl. 

“We have the weather app on our phones,” Wooyoung argues, “I should’ve just checked it.”

Yunho bites his bottom lip in contemplation. “That’s true I guess but I still had a lot of fun. There’s no one I’d rather be stuck in the pouring rain with.” 

He watches as a cheesy smile grows on Yunho’s face and Wooyoung rolls his eyes fondly before slapping his friend’s shoulder, “You’re so…” he trails off and smacks him again for good measure. 

Both of them focus on the show for a little, choosing to ignore the events from the morning and Wooyoung’s own self loathing at his immune system. 

After dinner, Yunho forces Wooyoung back onto the couch and lies with his head on his stomach again. Wooyoung says nothing and brings a hand down to scratch at Yunho’s scalp while he scrolls through his phone for things to do tomorrow. 

The last two days they spend there, Wooyoung wants to be exclusively beach days even if it’s a bit cold for a beach day. He makes sure to check the weather for the rest of the week and sighs gratefully when seeing it’s supposed to be relatively sunny and warmer than normal until the day of their flight home. 

“Hey, look at this place, wanna go tomorrow night?” Wooyoung asks, holding the phone in front of Yunho’s face. 

He feels Yunho’s nod on his stomach and suppresses a shiver while pulling his phone back and reserving tickets. 

“Looks like a nice place to take pictures and some videos for your little vlog,” Yunho says after a few moments. 

“Mmmm,” Wooyoung nods. He tries not to think about how he’s looking forward to walking through the Light Garden just to see the reflections on Yunho’s skin. Or how most of the videos he’s taken have just been of Yunho. How every picture in his camera roll, Yunho is there somewhere. 

They end up falling asleep just like that. Lying there with Yunho’s head pressed into Wooyoung’s soft stomach, caged between his legs and Wooyoung’s hand buried in Yunho’s hair. 

–

Since the Light Garden doesn’t open till later in the day, Yunho calls ahead and reserves a taxi for them, this time using the card his parents gave him for emergencies. 

When Wooyoung gives him a weary look he shrugs and says, “They kinda deserve it after everything.” 

They still get ready for the day and decide to take a walk through the town close to them. Wooyoung wanted to grab a little surprise for his brother and something nice for his mother and Yunho suggested they just visit some of the shops in town. 

The pair spend the early hours of the day strolling and staring through every window possible until something catches Wooyoung’s eye. 

There’s a little pottery shop that sells handmade tea sets and Wooyoung knows his mom loves to have her friends over for tea. He drags Yunho in the store and they peek around the gaps in the shelves at each other, giggling at all the different faces each other pull when they make eye contact. 

He finds a pretty dark blue set with gold accents that he’s sure his mom will like. When they check out at the counter, the woman working gift wraps it for him and even throws in a pretty embroidered cloth that matches the set.

Next, they stop in an electronics store and Wooyoung spots some of the games Kyungmin has been wanting for his older game console. He grabs a few of them and heads to the counter, looking around for Yunho and sees him already at the counter, hastily shoving something in a bag. 

“You getting something for your brother too?” There’s only one person in Yunho’s family that he’d actually get anything for. 

Yunho jerks around to face Wooyoung, “Y-yeah,” he stutters out after a moment's hesitation. 

Wooyoung holds up the games he’s getting, “Check these out. Kyungmin has been talking about them for months.” Yunho knows how much Kyungmin loves video games too. Every time he comes over, Wooyoung is ignored in favor of Kyungmin running up to Yunho and tugging him into their gaming room to play with him for a little while. “Think he’ll be excited?” 

Yunho nods, “He’s gonna be mad that you showed him up for his own gift,” he jokes and Wooyoung pays before they head back out into the street. 

They grab some food at one of the street vendors, just a few skewers to tide them over until the Light Garden. Wooyoung films a few things here and there. Makes sure to get a few good shots of Yunho walking in the empty street and laughing when the wind ruffles his hair while he’s trying to pose nicely for a cinematic shot against a wall mural. 

The alarm Yunho set to remind them of when to head back goes off and they stop by the convenience store again to grab a hot coffee out of the vending machine to fight off the chill that settles in the air as the sun sets. 

The taxi arrives just as they are finished getting ready again. Wooyoung is about to walk out the door but Yunho snags his arm and yanks him back into the entryway. “Hold on,” he says before heading back into the depths of the house. He returns with one of his hoodies and doesn’t let Wooyoung protest before pulling it over his head. 

“You’re going to get cold,” Yunho explains, tugging Wooyoung’s arms through the sleeves and Wooyoung just lets him. He opens the door just as Yunho grabs the hoodie strings and pulls them tight, cutting off Wooyoung’s vision and he blindly swings his arms around hoping to land a solid hit on Yunho. 

“You’re such a dick,” he jokes and pulls the hoodie back to its normal shape, following Yunho out to the taxi, but not before pinching his butt in retaliation. Yunho yelps but hops in the back of the taxi and glares at Wooyoung the whole ride there. 

When they arrive, Wooyoung shows their tickets to the person at the front gate and then immediately pulls out his camera. 

Yunho is staring ahead at all the different light structures with awe. He walks forward, a man possessed, and heads under the light arches at the entrance. 

Wooyoung pulls back and lets Yunho do his thing, pulling his camera up to his eye and hitting record as Yunho - like he knows what he’s doing to Wooyoung’s heart - spins around while he’s directly in the center of the arches and smiles so beautifully. 

“Hey, what are you doing so far back there? C’mon, you’re supposed to walk with me,” Yunho says, holding his hand out and who is Wooyoung to say no?

He stops recording and practically skips over to take Yunho’s hand and walk with him the rest of the way through the arches. 

Every time they come upon a new light structure, Yunho stops and stares at the twinkling lights with all the awe and wonder of a child. Wooyoung knows he should be paying attention to the lights too, he’s sure the employees put a lot of hard work into them but there’s nothing in the world he would rather stare at than the gentle slope of Yunho’s nose and the reflection of colors in his eyes. 

His heart thuds so painfully fast in his chest that he has to bring up a hand, clenching at the material of the hoodie to calm himself. 

He does sneak a few pictures and videos of Yunho when he’s not looking – then doesn’t have to sneak them anymore when Yunho catches him in the act as he’s trying to snap a picture of Yunho sipping on some hot chocolate in front of a big light structure in the shape of a puppy. 

“What, it’s you, ” Wooyoung argues and gestures at the puppy then at Yunho’s pout. 

Yunho rolls his eyes fondly and yanks Wooyoung forward, “Whatever, just make sure you get good videos of me. Nothing embarrassing.” 

“Every video of you is embarrassing,” Wooyoung jokes and stumbles away from Yunho’s hands with a shriek. 

Decorum is thrown out the window as he runs through the remaining decorations with Yunho chasing behind him, threatening to tackle him and tickle him without mercy. Wooyoung holds his camera up behind him as he runs, trying to capture the true essence of how terrifying a giant Yunho running in your direction is but he miscalculates his footing and trips over a bump in the grass, tumbling to the ground in a yelp with Yunho unable to stop his own motion, falling on top of him with a huff. 

Wooyoung is sure the rest of the guests there are probably staring at them with disdain but he can’t focus on anything besides the feeling of Yunho pinning him down and the mingling of their breaths, panting and fighting back laughter. 

He meets Yunho’s eyes, staring up at his friend and Wooyoung knows about all the cliches in the world. Knows how this is one of those times and he had always thought that when people talk about the rest of the world falling away, that they were exaggerating but when he looks up and all he can see is Yunho’s face above his…there really is nothing else. 

There is Jeong Yunho and there is Jung Wooyoung. 

And Jung Wooyoung wants to kiss his best friend. 

Of course, the moment is over quicker than it started. Wooyoung is a realist. He knows Yunho. He knows Yunho’s parents. 

Yunho blinks, eyes clearing from whatever had glazed over them in that split second and he pulls away from Wooyoung, rolling off of him to sit up. Wooyoung thinks that if he were to look at Yunho’s outstretched hand, he’d see his own heart there, yanked from his chest the moment his friend pulled away. 

He lies there, chest still heaving and sucks in a shaky breath before standing on his own and picking his camera off the ground before dusting his pants off. He knows Yunho is going to notice his change in behavior but honestly, there’s times where he is kind of glad to see that smile fall from Yunho’s face. To see that Yunho realizes he hurt Wooyoung. That he continues to break the heart that he holds in his palms. 

But that’s the selfish part of Wooyoung. The dark, twisted, green thing that sits in the back of his mind. It tells him Yunho will never love him the way Wooyoung loves him. In every little moment like these, that voice rears its ugly head and Wooyoung feels guilty. Guilty because he likes when he can hurt Yunho back. He’s spent years loving his best friend in every way possible. It’s only fair that Yunho hurts sometimes too. Right? 

Wooyoung watches as Yunho falters for the briefest of moments, dropping his hand slowly and then smiling back at Wooyoung in a way that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Want me to take some pictures of you?” Yunho questions and Wooyoung licks his lips, nodding and handing over his phone. Yunho jolts when their fingers touch and Wooyoung blinks, staring at his friend before turning away and finding a nice light structure to pose in front of. 

They take a few pictures, Yunho even going so far as to suggest a selfie and as much as Wooyoung wants to say no, he relents and puts on his best smile for the camera. Yunho bends his knees slightly so they’re the same height and he angles the phone so that way they get the giant swans in the background. 

Later, on the taxi ride home, Wooyoung’s finger hovers over the delete button on the selfie but out of the corner of his eye, he spots Yunho trying - and failing - to catch a sneaky glimpse of his phone. When Wooyoung simply locks his phone after staring at the picture and leans against the window instead, he notices Yunho’s exhaled breath and thinks that he almost looks relieved. 

–

Wooyoung wakes with renewed determination to finish off their trip with a positive note. He pushes that feeling from last night into the furthest crevices of his mind and opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling. There’s these two dark spots in the wood paneling that stare back at him and he keeps his eyes open until they burn. His mind fills with memories from last night and he tries to focus on the way Yunho looked when they first arrived. He forces himself to think about that Yunho. The Yunho  that stared back at him with all the love in the world as he spun around under the arch of lights. 

He shuffles into the kitchen to meet an apprehensive Yunho and accepts the cup of coffee from him with a smile and whispered thank you. 

“Did you wanna have a picnic on the beach today?” Yunho questions after a few moments of silence. The hopeful look in his eyes tugs at Wooyoung’s heartstrings and he wonders how he could ever stay truly mad at his best friend when he’s the epitome of a kicked puppy when he’s sad. 

Wooyoung hums around the brim of his mug, taking a sip before putting Yunho out of his misery and answering. 

“If you promise to set it all up,” he says quietly and watches as a grin slowly forms on Yunho’s face. 

“I think that can be arranged,” Yunho answers quietly and Wooyoung can’t fight the matching smile that worms its way onto his face. 

They finish their coffee and Yunho tells Wooyoung to just ‘sit back and relax’ while he gathers all the stuff for their picnic. Wooyoung snorts at his words but decides not to argue. Maybe manual labor would do Yunho some good. 

He takes a seat on the couch and flips on the TV, settling in with a warm blanket and watches whatever show with half interest. His eyes tend to flicker to Yunho bustling around and searching through different closets and cabinets for appropriate supplies. 

Wooyoung feels his eyes drooping halfway through the first episode of whatever drama is playing on the TV, too content with the sounds of Yunho and the slight chill in the air that smooths across his skin uncovered by the blanket. 

Some time later he’s woken up by a gentle hand to his shoulder and the smell of Yunho’s cologne too close to his face. His eyes crack open to see Yunho leaning over him, hand hovering just over Wooyoung’s body, like he hadn’t known what to do with it after shaking him. 

“We don’t have to have the picnic if you’re tired,” Yunho suggests, though Wooyoung can hear the nervousness behind it. He can tell Yunho is really only saying it to appease him. 

“Pfft,” Wooyoung scoffs and pulls himself into a seated position, “Was just restin’ my eyes. Let’s get out there and have the best picnic ever.” He smacks Yunho’s shoulder as he stands and tries not to linger on the feeling of warmth beneath his palm.

Wooyoung pulls the blanket around his shoulders and motions for Yunho to lead the way outside. The chill hits him almost immediately and he pulls the blanket closer, shuffling behind Yunho on the path from their airbnb to the little blanket laid out on the shore. 

He almost stumbles when he sees all the little things Yunho has set up, and turns to glance at his friend only to find Yunho staring ahead, ears bright red. 

There’s an actual picnic basket sitting on the corner of the large blanket and a shallow hole dug in front of the blanket with firewood in it, seemingly ready for a fire. He glances up to see the two little posts with what looks to be solar powered fairy lights. This time Wooyoung grabs Yunho’s flannel clad arm and turns him so they’re facing each other. He sucks in a breath and pushes all his thoughts from the night before into the back of his mind and pulls Yunho in for a hug, wrapping the blanket around both of their shoulders. 

“Thank you,” Wooyoung murmurs into the crook of Yunho’s neck. He feels Yunho’s cheek press against the top of his head and part of him wants to sob. This is his Yunho. This is his best friend. The one person who has always been there for him and always known just what Wooyoung needs. God, Wooyoung feels so selfish. 

How could he ever be angry with Yunho? How could he ever want to see him hurt? 

He squeezes Yunho tighter, clenching his fingers into the loose fabric of Yunho’s shirt and chokes back the sob that threatens to spill from his throat. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”

Yunho’s fingers come up to card through his hair and he doesn’t pull away. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he argues and Wooyoung shakes his head, nose brushing against the skin of Yunho’s neck. 

He wants to disagree, to fight back, but he knows if he tells Yunho everything that’s been plaguing his mind, it would end disastrously. Instead he pulls away, willing his face to return to its neutral state and hoping Yunho falls for it. 

They take their respective seats and Wooyoung stares up at the cloudy sky, cursing the weather app for lying to him. He makes a note to call his mom and tell her that he had actually tried this time and the universe seemed to work against him. 

“Guess I can’t work on my tan any time soon huh?” Wooyoung jokes and Yunho snorts, raising an eyebrow at him and then pinching the material of his long sleeve. 

“Were you going for an advanced farmer's tan?” 

It’s Wooyoung’s turn to snort, “Something like that.” He tugs the blanket closer and watches as Yunho begins to take things out of the picnic basket. 

He pulls out some different cut up fruits and some of Wooyoung’s favorite chips. He must’ve grabbed them from the store when Wooyoung wasn’t looking. 

They eat and Wooyoung mostly talks about his plans for university, noting how quiet Yunho has grown. It’s normal of course, for Yunho to be the quieter of the two. Wooyoung always says anything that comes to his mind and he’s honestly been excited for the new chapter of their lives. Wondering how their dorming arrangements will be, wondering if classes are going to be as difficult as they all make them seem. 

His older brother is headed into his third year of university and constantly talks to Wooyoung about how hard his classes are. 

They reminisce, talking about all the times Wooyoung’s brother had come home on breaks and complained about his professors. He was on track to be a lawyer - something Wooyoung wanted to steer very clear of - and always made it known. 

“He’s in the archery club now too apparently,” Wooyoung says, “Told me I should join early. I don’t even know the first thing about archery.” He snorts, lies down on his back and turns his head to face Yunho. “Feed me,” Wooyoung pouts and opens his mouth, watching as Yunho rolls his eyes with a bit too much fondness before grabbing a grape and dropping it into Wooyoung’s waiting mouth. 

“I think you’d be better at soccer,” Yunho mentions, picking a grape for himself and staring out over the ocean’s horizon. “You were always pretty good whenever we had to play for class.”

“What about you? You were definitely better than me,” Wooyoung argues and holds his mouth open for another grape. 

Yunho plops another grape in his mouth, his own lips pursed in a frown, eyes avoiding Wooyoung. 

“I forgot to grab your camera,” he announces, changing the subject and stands, brushing the sand off his pants. “I’ll be back. Do you need anything from the house?”

Wooyoung frowns in confusion before shaking his head and watches Yunho’s form disappear into the house. 

What the hell?

Yunho is gone for longer than Wooyoung is comfortable with and he’s about to get up and check on him when he sees him returning with the camera on, pointed at him and everything. He swats in the direction, trying to cover his face and failing to hide the playful groan, “I’m not supposed to be on camera - that’s the whole point of being the cameraman.”

“You need at least a few videos and pictures of yourself though,” Yunho argues, “How else would you even know you came on this trip?” He stands over Wooyoung with the camera facing him, and Wooyoung swats aimlessly. 

“You can hear me behind the camera, that should be enough,” Wooyoung pouts and eventually gives up when Yunho takes a seat next to him, recording the scenery. He pans the camera across the horizon and details their little spread of food, then points the camera at Wooyoung again. 

“-and here’s Wooyoung who is about to lose the race into the water,” Yunho voices and Wooyoung’s eyes widen when Yunho rises quickly to his knees and laughs. 

“What?! Yunho it’s way too cold for that. The water is gonna freeze your dick off!” Wooyoung shouts, reaching for Yunho as he drops the camera to the ground and shrugs out of his flannel, stumbling through the sand towards the choppy ocean. 

“You’re just saying that because you’re a sore loser!” Yunho shouts back and Wooyoung shrieks, throwing off his blanket and own long sleeve before chasing after Yunho. 

“We’re going to be so sick tomorrow,” Wooyoung whines, when his feet hit the chilly water and a full body shiver zips through his body. The cold water seeps deep into his bones while he follows behind Yunho who seems wholly unaffected, throwing himself below the next wave and coming up gasping for air, hair plastered to his forehead. 

“Holy shit it’s cold,” Yunho wheezes out and wipes his eyes free from water. 

Wooyoung stands up to his midriff in the freezing water, teeth chattering and arms crossed. “You’re insane, why would you wanna play around in the water at a time like this?” He huffs and halfheartedly splashes the water at his friend. 

“You’re the one who followed me out here,” Yunho retorts and starts inching towards Wooyoung. 

“Nuh-uh, you stay far away,” Wooyoung warns, holding a shivering hand out to stave off Yunho. It seems to only spurn him on, a devious look on his face while he trudges through the water closer to Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung knows that look. That competitive look Yunho wears sometimes when he’s playing one of his video games that Wooyoung knows nothing about but loves to watch him win. Yunho loves to win. “Jeong Yunho, I swear to god, if you-” he doesn’t get to finish his sentence, stumbling back as Yunho’s hands shove at his chest and really, he wants to laugh. Deja vu hitting him like a truck. 

He falls backwards into the freezing water, Yunho following right behind and he seizes, cold water sending him into mild shock before he resurfaces, arms flailing and hoping to smack Yunho as hard as possible. 

“You’re such an asshole!” He sputters out, hands finding purchase on Yunho’s frame and shaking his now giggling friend back and forth. Yunho laughs and laughs, head thrown back and water trickling down the sides of his face. Wooyoung shivers, rivulets of water all down his own face and into his eyes. His fingers tremble where he clenches at Yunho’s shirt and Yunho uses his hands to wipe the water away from Wooyoung’s eyes. 

His own hands are shaking, whether it be from the cold of the ocean or something else, Wooyoung couldn’t tell. Does Yunho get nervous around him too? Does his stomach drop when Wooyoung touches him? Does his throat dry at a simple glance in Wooyoung’s direction? Does he feel like Wooyoung feels? 

Yunho’s thumb slows, stopping to rest at the bottom corner of Wooyoung’s eye, his palm resting on his cheek. Wooyoung’s heart jackrabbits in his chest, thudding so hard that if he looks down he’s sure he could see the rapid rise and fall of his ribcage. Yunho is staring at him. He’s really staring at him. 

“Yunho,” Wooyoung whispers, voice barely heard over the rush of water around them. Waves rush to the shore, drowning out anything else he was going to say. Though Yunho’s lips could also have something to do with his newfound silence. 

He doesn’t even react in time to close his eyes. They widen when Yunho’s mouth meets his, forceful and all consuming. Wooyoung’s back arches, unsure of where he wants to go and Yunho practically bows him over, other hand reaching up to cradle the back of Wooyoung’s head while he deepens the kiss and it’s perfect. It’s everything . 

Wooyoung is sure that if he clenches his fingers in Yunho’s shirt any tighter, they’d lose feeling but he can’t let go. If he lets go now, Yunho will go with them. 

Their lips move together, slowly but surely and freezing cold. Wooyoung could care less about the temperature as he tentatively tongues Yunho’s bottom lip. Practically moaning when Yunho grants him access and then he’s licking into Yunho’s mouth, tongue grazing the back of his teeth and god, he can’t get enough. He tugs Yunho flush to his chest, water splashing between them with the force and he whines when Yunho’s hand releases the back of his head to trail down to his waist, clenching it like Wooyoung is the one who would run off. As if Wooyoung hasn’t been wanting this for longer than he can even fathom. 

Wooyoung is the first to pull away, gasping for air and shivering. His nose presses against Yunho’s cheek as he heaves in and tries to calm his too fast heart. He’s scared to speak, fearing he might shatter the moment but Yunho nudges his way back to Wooyoung’s lips. This time pressing kisses there and kneading his waist. More than anything, Wooyoung wants this moment to continue. If they stop, he’s not sure Yunho will ever kiss him again. Maybe he’s selfish but he’d spend the last moments of his life out here in the frigid ocean if it meant this would never end. 

Yunho’s lips trail from Wooyoung’s across his cheek and to the sensitive spot behind his ear and that’s when Wooyoung feels it. Something drips and hits his collarbone and he pulls away from Yunho sharply to see his friend crying. Tears rolling down his face, almost hidden by the rivulets streaming from his soaked hair. 

Wooyoung cups Yunho’s face in his hands, forcing his gaze upward and his heart sinks at what he sees there. Yunho’s eyes are red-rimmed, puffy and broken and Wooyoung knows it’s not from the salty sea water. His thumbs return Yunho’s previous favor and he wipes away the tears from underneath his friends eyes. “Hey, please talk to me,” his eyes search Yunho’s, moving his head like a floppy dolls, “Tell me what’s wrong. Was it the kiss? Should I not have? Is that not what you wanted?”

“I- Wooyoung ,” Yunho whispers and a full body shiver streaks through him. Wooyoung remembers where they are, the cold suddenly hitting him full force and he urges them both back to the shore. “Wooyoung,” Yunho repeats and Wooyoung doesn’t know what to do. Yunho is staring at him like he should magically know the problem and Wooyoung wants to scream. He wants to scream and yell and complain because all he wants to do is kiss Yunho for the rest of his life, consequences from his parents and guilty conscience be damned. 

“Here, let’s get on some dry clothes and get warm and then we can…talk about that. Okay?” 

Yunho squeezes Wooyoung’s hand while they walk back inside the house. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something but only a strangled sound makes its way out before he nods, not releasing Wooyoung’s hand until they make it inside and even then, he looks pained when Wooyoung pulls his hand away to grab their clothes. 

He swears he’s never changed so fast in his whole life, tugging on new clothes without even paying attention to which of theirs is what. Wooyoung snags an extra towel from the bathroom and brings it out to the living room, hoping to see Yunho but a breeze from the open doors leading to the backyard. Yunho sits on the edge of the concrete slab, head in his hands and shoulders shaking and all Wooyoung wants to do is comfort him but he feels a million miles away. 

“You’re going to catch a cold if you don’t change into something warm,” Wooyoung warns and wraps the towel around Yunho’s shivering shoulders then hands him the change of clothes. He watches as Yunho pulls on the sweatshirt without a fuss, then turns to give him a look. Wooyoung faces the open ocean, averting his gaze while Yunho stands and drops his sopping wet swimming shorts and pulls on sweatpants. When he sits again, he hands Wooyoung the towel and Wooyoung scoffs, changing their position so he’s sitting behind Yunho, pulling him back in between his legs. 

“Tell me what’s wrong while I dry your hair okay? Maybe it’ll help if you’re not looking at me,” Wooyoung says quietly and brings the towel up to Yunho’s hair, ignoring the shake in his voice and tremor in his fingers. If this is going to be the last time he gets to touch Yunho, he’s going to savor it in any way he can. 

For a few moments, there is only the sound of the waves rolling up on the shore and a few stray seagulls that haven’t found their way home for the night. 

“My parents are cutting me off unless I enlist first,” Yunho says after a while. His words are quiet and unsure, as if even he doubts their reality. 

Wooyoung’s fingers falter and he tries his best to continue their aborted motions until he can’t. His forehead drops to the towel on Yunho’s head and he watches through blurred vision as the first tear falls from his eyes and lands on Yunho’s broad back. 

Everything they had planned. All the nights Wooyoung had been looking forward to. Studying with Yunho. Laughing with him in their dorm at 3AM, running off an hour of sleep while they study for some exam. Experiencing that first day of university together. All of the memories they would’ve made together, yanked from underneath his feet without a fight. 

And Yunho. 

Yunho. 

“Why?” Wooyoung chokes out as if he doesn’t already know the answer. He breathes in the soft fabric of the towel, too scared to pull away and face Yunho. 

“Because of you. Us. This. ”

Wooyoung wants to be mad. Truly, he wishes he had some fight left in him but that’s not their reality. Their reality is a good, long childhood friendship that could’ve been something more but never will be. Yunho’s parents will never change and neither will the people around them. Yunho will enlist and Wooyoung will be left to navigate the world without his best friend by his side. Then Wooyoung will enlist and they’ll likely never see each other again. That’s just what happens to people like them. 

He can’t be angry with Yunho either. It’s not like he can afford university by himself with his meager summer job. So, he understands. He does. But understanding won’t unbreak his heart. It won’t keep Yunho in his arms like this. It won’t let him forget the taste of Yunho now that he’s had it. 

“I understand,” Wooyoung says because it’s the only thing he can think right now. He understands. He understands. He understands. 

“Wooyoung,” Yunho replies and tries to turn around in Wooyoung’s hold but Wooyoung’s grip on his head is strong. Steady. “Wooyoung please let me see your face.”

Wooyoung shakes his head. “If I do that, I’ll want to kiss you again and we…can’t.”

Silence follows and eventually Wooyoung drops the towel, simply pulling Yunho to his chest and holding him as close as possible. His cheek presses against the top of Yunho’s mostly dry hair and he’s sure that if he lets Yunho go now, he’ll lose him forever. So they sit, for hours, watching the waves push and pull their way to the shore until the sun just barely peaks over the horizon. 

With the rise of the sun, Wooyoung feels one final tear drop on his forearm where it rests under Yunho’s chin and he squeezes his eyes closed. He tries to pretend like this doesn’t feel like a goodbye. 

—

Sometime After.

On his first day, Wooyoung all but slams into Park Seonghwa on his way back to the dorm from his last class of the day. 

Seonghwa is a year older than him and the most gentle and kind person Wooyoung has ever met. He takes Wooyoung under his wing in a sense and helps him feel less like a freshman on their first day and more like someone that belongs. 

They go to a cafe where Seonghwa meets up with his boyfriend San and soon their duo becomes a little trio and Wooyoung almost forgets Yunho. 

By the end of the first semester, Wooyoung, San and Seonghwa do anything and everything together. Wooyoung is convinced San is his platonic other half and Seonghwa is a Saint who snuck down from the heavens. They make him forget about the sleepless nights he’s been experiencing. The times when his heart clenches just a bit too tightly. When it aches because he looked through his camera’s old photos and videos one night. 

They keep him on his feet and Wooyoung isn’t sure he would’ve made it without them. 

He doesn’t contact Yunho because he can’t. His parents got him a new phone number and managed to cut all forms of Wooyoung out of Yunho’s life. 

Wooyoung finishes his first year of university with a smile on his face and a kiss on the cheek from both of his best friends. 

His mother hugs him tightly when he comes home for break and she doesn’t ask him about Yunho. She hasn’t for a while and Wooyoung doesn’t know if he wants her to or not. 

When he flops onto his childhood bed for the first time in over a year, he glances over at his nightstand and sees a framed picture of him and Yunho from their elementary school ‘graduation’. He stares at it until his eyes droop and he falls into a restless sleep. 

—

Post Enlistment.

“We should go to Jeju,” San bumps his shoulder, forcing Wooyoung’s gaze up from the somaek he was busy creating for the three of them. He looks between Seonghwa and San’s smiling faces and realizes they’re not joking. 

“You guys aren’t joking,” he parrots that voice in his head and they stare at him with flushed faces and equally nervous grins. 

Seonghwa is the first to clear his throat and have the decency to look a little bit flustered. “I know it’s…not a place that holds the best memories for you but maybe we could make some new ones?”

The hopeful lilt to his voice and the sparkles in his eyes – fuck him for having literal sparkles in his eyes – easily knock down Wooyoung’s defenses. It really is no competition whenever Seonghwa turns that gaze on anyone. 

Wooyoung tries to turn to San for help though he knows it’s useless. If anything, he’s even weaker to San’s pout and the man speaks in perpetual pout. Needless to say, San and Seonghwa always get what they want. 

San shrugs and snatches the cocktail Wooyoung was busy pouring, throws it back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“We’re all free men now, we’ve gotta go somewhere to celebrate,” San adds and Wooyoung fixes him with a glare before refilling the glass with his mix of drinks. 

“Surely there’s other places,” Wooyoung argues and sips on his drink, swirling it around and looking between the couple. 

—

Jeju (again). 

Wooyoung watches as Seonghwa and San strip their shirts off, flinging them into the sand as they sprint towards the ocean. He can barely hear their laughter over the rush of the waves and something squeezes in his chest. His fingers tingle and itch with an urge he hasn’t had in a long while. 

He heads back into their airbnb and rustles through his bag until he finds it. The camera is a bit dated now, already having been a bit older when he got it all those years ago but he finds it still takes the best pictures and videos. 

Seonghwa and San are busy in their own little world, splashing around in the waves and trying to force each other under the water, giggling and Wooyoung points the viewfinder in their direction, capturing the memory. 

“You still have that old thing?”

The voice startles Wooyoung to the point of nearly dropping his camera and he whirls around to the very last person he expects to see. 

“Yunho?” 

A shoulder shrug. “Who else?”

Wooyoung doesn’t know what to do. Standing in front of him is his everything. Everything that he couldn’t have…and yet. 

“What are you doing here?” It’s the only question that comes to Wooyoung’s mind despite the million swirling around in his head. 

Yunho stares at him, much taller now. More broad. Boyish charm lost and replaced with handsome and strong features that do nothing to keep the rising blush from forming on Wooyoung’s cheeks. He looks good. 

He joins Wooyoung, leaning against the railing that leads down to the beachfront. He stares at Seonghwa and San and Wooyoung glances between the three of them. 

“I was invited I guess,” Yunho replies and tilts his head to look at Wooyoung. “You have some really amazing friends, Wooyoung.”

“They…did this?” 

Yunho chuckles, “Funnily enough, we happened to have a mutual friend - Hongjoong. We met during enlistment and became friends. He grew up with Seonghwa. Imagine my surprise when I heard the name Wooyoung out of Hongjoong’s mouth.”

Wooyoung spares a glance at his friends who are still splashing around, unaware. He smiles to himself, laughing softly. Of course they’d do something like this. They’d been so adamant about coming to Jeju and Wooyoung had been none the wiser. 

When he looks bad over at Yunho, the other is leaning against the railing, staring out over the horizon. Breeze ruffling his soft brown locks, an almost wistful look on his face. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Wooyoung finds himself saying. He brings the camera back up to his eye, points it at Yunho and watches as his world turns to smile at him. There’s a million other things Wooyoung wants to say. A million other emotions rolling around in his chest, threatening to spill out but all he wants to do is stare at Yunho. His Yunho. 

Suddenly he’s 18 again and he’s at the beach with the love of his life. He’s 18 again and all he wants to do is kiss his best friend. How foolish could he have been to think that all those feelings would fade? 

“Are you guys gonna stand there staring at each other or are you gonna come have fun?” San shouts from the water, the couple now finally having caught on. Wooyoung rolls his eyes and brings the camera down to chest level. Sticks his tongue out at San and then begins to descend the stairs leading to the sand. He turns on the last step and holds his hand out for Yunho. For a moment, Yunho stares at him, with this look of disbelief, an almost shy thing before he accepts Wooyoung’s offer for what it is and they descend the stairs together. 

Seonghwa is the first to sprint out of the water, running to grab Wooyoung and pull him into the water. Yunho valiantly tries to save Wooyoung from the lecherous hands of Seonghwa but San joins the fray and soon they’re all tumbling into the water, Wooyoung’s camera dropping to the sand, still rolling. 

-

Hours later finds them sitting in a small pit dug into the sand thanks to San and Yunho, that surrounds a crackling fire. 

San’s head rests against Seonghwa’s chest and Wooyoung chuckles at the sight of the much larger man curled up in Seonghwa’s lap. Wooyoung would tease him for his catlike mannerisms but when he looks up to say something, San is staring up at Seonghwa with wonder in his eyes while Seonghwa whispers something to him and he feels almost like he’s intruding. 

He turns to Yunho who holds both of their marshmallow sticks in his hands and smiles, taking one. “Thanks for holding it for me,” he murmurs and reaches over to grab the chocolate and graham crackers. “Want me to make yours?” Yunho nods and watches with focused eyes while Wooyoung makes the s’mores for him. 

Wooyoung debates on whether or not it would be appropriate to feed it to Yunho like he had with their bossam years ago. He’s saved from the embarrassment of asking when Yunho leans forward with his mouth slightly open in expectation. When he bites down, the cracker practically disintegrates and Wooyoung nearly drops it in the process, melted chocolate falling to his lips and the pair laugh when Yunho tries to save the other half. 

“These are far too messy, who even thought s’mores were a good idea?” Yunho chuckles and wipes as much of the chocolate away as possible. Of course he misses a spot and Wooyoung takes it as his chance. He presses a thumb to the corner of Yunho’s mouth, wiping away the chocolate and making sure to swipe the pad of his finger across his bottom lip then suck the chocolate off of his own finger after. The action leaves Yunho staring at his lips just as he intended and all the warmth from years ago floods his senses. 

A throat clears very loudly to his right and Wooyoung’s eyes dart over to where Seonghwa and San are getting up. 

“Seonghwa is getting a bit cold, so we’re going to head inside,” San announces and glances between the pair. A look crosses his features, appearing for a second before it’s gone and Wooyoung finds himself nodding imperceptibly, taking the hint for what it is. 

“We’ll be in a bit later,” Wooyoung mumbles back and accepts the cushions and blanket Seonghwa and San had been using, placing them close by and waves them a goodnight. 

When he turns back to Yunho after making sure they made it inside safely, he’s greeted with a searching look from his friend, the fire casting flickering shadows across his face. 

“Wooyoung, I-”

He cuts him off, placing a hand over his mouth. Yunho’s eyes widen at the offending fingers almost cutely. 

“Look, I know you probably want to apologize or something and have this long drawn out talk but I need you to know some things before you start whatever it is that you’re going to say. Okay?” 

Yunho nods behind Wooyoung’s hand and Wooyoung grins in answer, removing his hand and turning so Yunho sits at his side, still a bit nervous to look at him while he bares his heart. He feels Yunho’s fingers slide down his forearm and grasp his hand, intertwining their fingers together. He squeezes when Wooyoung sucks in a breath. 

“I’m not angry with you at all. I never was,” Wooyoung begins, nudging a piece of firewood with his foot. “There were times when I wished that you could just figure it out. That you would realize I was in love with you since we learned the definition of the word. And sometimes you’d look at me and I thought that maybe you did. Especially when we came here. When we kissed. I was sad back then. I lost my everything, you know.” He looks up at Yunho who’s gaze is cast towards the flames. “And there was nothing either of us could do about it, and I think that was the shitty part. We were eighteen but we were still just kids and your parents knew that. So I’m not angry with you, there’s nothing for you to apologize or feel guilty for. It was a bad situation and yes it hurt like hell but Yunho, I still love you and I’m afraid I always will.”

The crackling of the fire fills the silence alongside the rushing of the waves and Wooyoung is afraid to look anywhere besides the golden flames. Yunho’s hand flexes in his and then it’s gone. He has a second to mourn the loss before that same hand is grasping his chin and tilting it to face Yunho. 

“That’s really good because I disowned my family so I could love you the way you deserve,” Yunho answers with a thumb stroking Wooyoung’s cheek. 

What. 

“What?” Wooyoung croaks, barely able to stop himself from leaning forward in shock. 

Yunho chuckles, though there’s no humor there. 

“After I finished my service, I moved in with Hongjoong and got a job. Never ended up going to college after all of that and it kinda pissed them off. We fought about it and the fact that I’m gay and things got out of control. I’m no longer a part of the Jeong family.” 

Wooyoung is taken aback, “Your brother?” 

At this, Yunho’s eyes droop and Wooyoung places a hand on his knee. “He tried in the beginning to help me, tried to talk to them but in the end, they threatened him as well. We haven’t spoken in a few years.” 

“Oh… Oh Yunho, ” he murmurs and pulls Yunho into an embrace, runs his hands through Yunho’s locks. 

“Sorry,” Yunho whispers into Wooyoung’s chest, he chuckles and tries to smile, wiping away his tears when he pulls away from Wooyoung but Wooyoung can only frown. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Yunho. I at least had my mom to support me through everything, in every way, and I’m sorry you didn’t get that as well.” He thumbs at the tears beneath Yunho’s eyes, the ones he tries to smile away. 

Yunho chuckles, “Look at both of us. Saying ‘no sorrys’ and we’re both apologizing.” He grabs Wooyoung’s hands, forcing him to face his direction. “But seriously, Wooyoung,” their eyes meet, “I am sorry. I wanted to call you. I wanted to see you but…” Yunho’s voice trails off and his eyes drop again. 

“You were afraid I hated you,” Wooyoung finishes for him. 

“How could I not think that? It’s not like everything ended on good terms,” Yunho replies quietly. 

Wooyoung isn’t sure how to respond. He knows that in any other circumstance, someone probably would hate Yunho. But Yunho is Wooyoung’s best friend. Yunho is the only person Wooyoung has ever loved. 

Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s leaning forward to press his lips against Yunho’s. When he pulls back, the false bravado fills his voice despite the tremors in his heart. “Would someone who hates you kiss you?” 

Yunho stares at him, lips slightly parted. They open and close and Wooyoung could laugh at the surprise on his face if he weren’t also so full of nerves he could throw up. Maybe he read everything wrong. Maybe Yunho had loved him then but now-

Like all those years ago, Wooyoung’s racing thoughts are silenced by Yunho’s lips on his. This time with an urgency that wasn’t present in the past. It’s like Yunho wants to swallow him whole. He leans into Wooyoung’s space, bowling him over and pressing him into the cushion placed there earlier and Wooyoung accepts him into his space with an eagerness he hadn’t even known he possessed. 

His legs part automatically, allowing Yunho between him, their bodies aligning in all the right places while their mouths move in tandem. Yunho’s tongue swipes at Wooyoung’s bottom lip and he opens up without a word, groaning when this time it’s Yunho who licks into his mouth. Their noses brush when Yunho tilts his head just so and Wooyoung fights off a whimper when Yunho’s fingers dig into the arch of his back. His hand makes it’s way around to shove Wooyoung’s shirt up his chest and Yunho’s mouth trails down his chest, licking and sucking a path down to the dip below Wooyoung’s belly button. 

Wooyoung wonders if it’s even possible to arch up into Yunho’s touch more than he already is, his hands gripping Yunho’s hair probably to the point of pain when Yunho bites down softly at the taught skin there. 

“Yunho please,” Wooyoung moans and Yunho’s thumbs dip below the waistband of his shorts. They rub circles into the skin there as Yunho glances up from his position, locking eyes with Wooyoung and all the air leaves Wooyoung’s chest at the image he’s presented with. Yunho, eyes hooded and filled with want, while his bottom lip catches on the material of Wooyoung’s waistband. “You’re gonna kill me,” he groans and reaches a hand around to push Yunho’s bangs to the side. 

“What do you want?” Yunho questions, fingers dancing at the soft skin of his stomach, sending shockwaves through Wooyoung’s system. His body shivering at the touch along with the gravelly tone Yunho’s voice has gained. 

“Anything you’ll give me,” Wooyoung answers, “Just… please do it quickly.” His hips roll up on their own accord, seeking friction wherever they can find it and he takes pleasure in the slight change in Yunho’s confident expression. Loves the way he can see the other man falter just briefly. 

“I…don’t think we have the stuff to do everything I want to do to you right now,” Yunho answers, pulling away slightly. “I can’t exactly fuck you dry.”

Wooyoung snorts, “So eloquent.” He pushes up from underneath Yunho, “There’s um, some stuff inside.” 

Yunho eyes him playfully, “You really brought lube on a boys trip with your best friends?”

Wooyoung slaps his bicep, “ I didn’t bring shit. They’re the horny assholes, so I’m stealing some of their stuff. It’s only fair.” 

“I’m getting the sense that this is a recurring thing amongst you three?”

“I suffer at the hands of their fucking way more than I should,” Wooyoung mutters and stands, “Our apartment’s walls are paper thin. I’ll be right back,” he rushes back to the Airbnb, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of running with a hard-on and practically slams open the sliding glass door that leads into the house. 

He barely has to step foot inside before grinning. There, on the kitchen counter is a bottle of lube and a note in San’s handwriting, telling him to have fun with several emoticons drawn around the words. 

Wooyoung snatches the bottle and tells himself that maybe his friends aren’t entirely horrible before running back out to the fire pit. Of course, he’d really rather do this inside, remove the probability of sand getting into places it shouldn’t be but if he loses this opportunity to finally get Yunho inside him all because of a little sand, he’ll never forgive himself. 

He makes it back to Yunho in record time, pulling off his shirt and decides to forego any decorum and plops himself into Yunho’s lap. He holds the bottle of lube in between his fingers, dangling it with a grin. “Got the stuff.” 

Yunho rolls his eyes fondly and takes the bottle from his hand, setting it to the side for the moment and takes the time to run his hands up Wooyoung’s now exposed sides. 

“You’re so small,” Yunho murmurs reverently, his thumbs stop at Wooyoung’s nipples and he flicks them, laughing at Wooyoung’s answering groan of frustration. “My hands wrap around your whole body,” Yunho notices with an awed lilt to his voice. His hands drop to rest on Wooyoung’s stomach, fingers playing at the skin there. Teasing him. 

“Yunho, please can you just-” Wooyoung cuts off his words and drops his forehead to rest on Yunho’s shoulder when one of his hands drops even further to palm at Wooyoung’s bulge. Wooyoung hiccups a breath and latches on to the side of Yunho’s neck, doing his best to leave an impressionable mark there while Yunho works off his shorts. He deftly unbuttons and pulls them down, barely having to motion at Wooyoung for him to understand and he stands. 

“Yours too,” Wooyoung whispers and eyes Yunho’s offending garments. Yunho is quick to remove his hoodie and pants before spreading out the blanket they’d been using earlier and maneuvering Wooyoung into a better position. 

Like earlier, Wooyoung’s legs part with ease but this time when Yunho settles between them, Wooyoung feels everything. He can’t hold back the moan that escapes his lips the moment their cocks brush against each other. Wooyoung’s trapped against his belly while Yunho drives his hips forward, a small preview of what’s to come. Yunho captures Wooyoung’s lips in an almost frantic kiss, one hand finding its place at the curve of Wooyoung’s waist and the other pressed against his cheek, holding Wooyoung in place while he practically devours his mouth. At another time, Wooyoung would’ve joked about the man’s urgency but he’s otherwise occupied. 

Yunho’s thumb presses against the corner of Wooyoung’s mouth just as Wooyoung’s hands find their place on Yunho’s ass, pulling him in, tugging him close and they both moan at the feeling again. “Yunho, Yunho, please. ”

He obliges, somehow knowing exactly what Wooyoung needs and in the next moment he hears the distinct click of a cap and a chilled, wet finger prods at his entrance before slipping in up to the knuckle. 

“Fuckkkk,” Wooyoung forces out in a rush, his body tensing for the briefest of moments before relaxing at the intrusion. Yunho works the finger inside him slowly, all the while, his thumb slips down to caress the underside of Wooyoung’s jaw, his fingers pressing just shy of too much on his skin and Wooyoung’s insides throb at the feeling. He wants Yunho to pin him down and make him take it. He wants Yunho to be rough. He wants Yunho to do anything as long as he’ll keep on touching him. 

“Another. More. Now, ” Wooyoung demands breathlessly when the single finger feels like nothing. Yunho indulges him, adding another and the fire in Wooyoung’s belly only grows. He feels the sweat rolling off Yunho’s neck and dropping onto him and is thrown back to years ago when it was rivulets of salt water, running down their faces and gathering in the dips of too apparent collarbones. 

Years later, Wooyoung finds himself arching up just enough to taste the divot between Yunho’s collarbones. To see if the salty taste still lingers there. 

Just as his lips press to the tender skin, Yunho slips in a third and fourth finger and Wooyoung’s mouth opens against his chest in a silent groan. For a moment he hears nothing but the white noise of the sea against the shore and then he hears Yunho above him, murmuring nonsense into his skin while his fingers send Wooyoung nearly toppling over that edge. His hand flings down to grasp at Yunho’s wrist, stopping him while he rests at the precipice. His fingers tremble where they clasp around Yunho’s bones. “Wait,” he manages to huff, “Wanna cum with you inside,” Wooyoung tumbles out and Yunho nods into the skin of his neck, sitting up to properly gaze down at Wooyoung. 

Under his scrutiny, Wooyoung finds he almost wants to cover up but the longer Yunho stares at him, eyes roaming every inch of his skin, he feels more and more loved. Warmth floods in, replacing the embarrassment and he watches as his skin flushes. 

“Can we try something?” Yunho questions and Wooyoung nods, allowing himself to be maneuvered up so Wooyoung is straddling him again. His fingers grip Wooyoung’s waist, holding him up just enough while he stares into Wooyoung’s eyes with an intensity that rivals the sun. “Are you sure about this?” He asks, the barest hint of doubt clouding his features. 

Wooyoung answers by lowering himself onto Yunho. His groan is swallowed by Yunho’s mouth and it’s all he can do but to hold on to Yunho’s shoulders while he gives Wooyoung no warning before thrusting. He nips and bites at Wooyoung’s lips and Wooyoung’s hips roll as best as he can, the feeling of being full of Yunho, surrounded by Yunho and the ocean, just shy of too much. 

Their hips move in tandem, breaths catching in each other's throats and those that do escape, only to be captured by each other's lips. Neither are particularly loud with their sounds but Yunho lets out little groans each time Wooyoung rolls down to meet his thrusts and Wooyoung can’t help but to let out a few huffed, “Yeah’s,” in repetition. 

“Wooyoung,” Yunho’s voice interrupts, a broken thing, “Wooyoung, Wooyoung, Woo-” he falters, the name fading into a groan on a deep thrust and Wooyoung reconnects their lips with a tender kiss. The urgency from earlier faded into a glowing ember of want. Yunho’s hand runs a path up Wooyoung's chest to cup his cheek and he pulls Wooyoung away to press his thumb to the mole under Wooyoung’s eye. 

“I love this so much, you know,” Yunho murmurs and places a kiss there. “Every day when we were younger I used to think about kissing it,” he admits and Wooyoung thinks he looks almost embarrassed. 

“You can kiss it as much as you want now,” Wooyoung comments, “I… would really like if you did.”

Yunho answers with another kiss and uses the force to change positions and gently push Wooyoung back down. With the new angle change, Yunho looms over him and his slow thrusts rock Wooyoung’s hips upward and he can’t bite back the moan he lets out. He feels Yunho all over. Inside him. Around him. 

Yunho is in the waves crashing against the shore. In the videos Wooyoung never deleted from his camera. In the memories Wooyoung holds so precious and close to his heart. 

“ Wooyoung I’m- ”

“Inside,” Wooyoung huffs out, “Inside. I don’t care, please I just-”

With one last aborted thrust, Yunho stills and spills inside Wooyoung with a soft groan. 

Warmth floods Wooyoung’s senses and he rolls his own hips upward, chasing the feeling and cums with a moan when Yunho presses his free hand against his throat with the barest hint of pressure. 

“Fuck,” Wooyoung mumbles, tugging Yunho down to rest on him, needing that body pressed against his. “Give me like ten minutes and we can go again,” he adds with a laugh, “I’m getting old now.” 

Yunho chuckles and Wooyoung feels the rumbling of his chest where they’re pressed together. He feels Yunho’s erratic heart and wonders how his feels. Is his beating like it had all those years ago? Still a nervous thing jumping around in his chest? Or is it steady? Content? 

He grabs Yunho’s hand and moves it to cover his heart, “What does it feel like? I’m curious.” 

Yunho is quiet for a moment, thumb unable to stay still as it brushes against the soft skin of Wooyoung’s chest. “Hmm,” he rumbles, nose pressing into Wooyoung’s neck. “It’s a lot like mine. Fast. Scared maybe.”

“Are you?” Wooyoung tilts his head so he can meet Yunho’s eyes. He brings a free hand to brush Yunho’s bangs aside. “Scared?”

“A little,” Yunho answers honestly. “I just had sex with my best friend who I hadn’t known would still love me after six years of silence. I just had sex with him and I want to tell him how much I love him but I’m scared that I’ll do it wrong.” 

Wooyoung swears his heart stops then. He knows Yunho can feel it of course, his hand still placed over the traitorous thing. His chest heaves once. Twice. 

“I don’t think there’s a wrong way to confess your love. I think you should be honest and straightforward. Seems like this guy has been waiting for a while.” 

Yunho chuckles, “He has been.” 

“He probably really loves you if he’s been waiting for that long.”

Another chuckle. “He probably does.” Yunho sucks in a breath and Wooyoung blinks, too afraid to ruin the delicate moment. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Wooyoung murmurs and tries to lean forward to press his lips to Yunho's but Yunho lifts his head up, smiling shyly. 

“I love you, Wooyoung and I’m sorry I didn’t say it back then but I’m determined to spend the rest of my life saying it any chance I can,” Yunho says, eyes flicking between Wooyoung's. 

Wooyoung loops his arms around Yunho's neck, pulls him down so his face is pressed into Wooyoung's neck. Inhales. He turns his head slightly to breathe in the sea breeze that lingers in Yunho's hair and his voice is muffled when he says, "The rest of your life is a long time." He's proud of the fact that despite it's quietness, his voice is steady. It's his heart that thuds dangerously in his chest.

"There's no one I'd rather spend it with," are the words that drift from Yunho's mouth, through the salty air, into Wooyoung's ears. The words that settle in his heart. This time he lets himself think about how this feels like a new beginning.