Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Even if it wasn’t realistic, part of Yoonji hoped that once she and Jeongguk got together, her grief wouldn’t be as bad anymore. That wasn’t the case. Most days, it did help. When she noticed her brain spiralling, it was easier to find things to distract herself - and sometimes, it was Jeongguk who distracted her personally.

But this morning, she woke up and knew instantly that no amount of distraction could take her mind off how much she missed her mother. She was back to working at the archive, so she tried to ignore the tears prickling in her eyes as she got ready to leave the apartment. On the subway, the tears spilt over her cheek, soaking into her face mask. She knew some people were probably staring, but she couldn’t stop the tears. She also knew she’d feel better eventually if she didn’t try to hold them back.

Work did take her mind off her mother enough that she stopped crying - which would’ve been very embarrassing otherwise. Yet, she still thought of her. Every piece of art she pulled out for a student or a researcher, she thought about whether her mother would like it. She thought of her copy of The Odyssey that had a special place on her bookshelf now. Maybe when she could pick it up again without crying, she’d read some of it to Jeongguk. He would like that.

Every time she walked by Yunjin’s desk, her coworker would pull her into a hug - even if they hadn’t really been physically close before. Just like that, her shift passed by a little quicker. She wondered if, one day, she wouldn’t miss her mother this much.

Did you ever stop missing the woman who was on your side no matter what? Who brushed your hair and braided it on the morning of every first day of school? Who taught you how to ride a bike and how to get up again when you inevitably fell and scraped your knee? She’d been there for Yoonji’s every heartbreak, so why couldn’t she be here to see her happy?

“Unnie?” Yoonji blinked rapidly to shake herself out of her train of thought, and looked over at Yunjin. Her coworker smiled softly. “You’ve got a visitor.”

Only then did Yoonji notice Jeongguk standing by the elevator, waving at her. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be down here without an appointment.”

“I have an appointment,” Jeongguk said and hurried over to Yoonji to pull her into a half-hug. “I’m here to pick up my girlfriend from work.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Yoonji turned around until she could see the clock that hung on the wall. Right, it was almost time to leave. “Did we have anything planned for the evening?” Did she forget? Was she that bad of a girlfriend?

“No, no, but I- well, finish up here first, and then I’ll tell you my idea.”

Twenty minutes later, Yoonji was finally clocked out, and they left the museum through the main doors. “So what’s with this idea of yours?”

Jeongguk looked suddenly very nervous as he came to a stop on the steps. “Well, you told me you were having a bad day and I wanted to offer you- I mean, you can say no. Because I don’t know if it would make you feel better or worse. But I still wanted to suggest it.”

“Usually, for a suggestion, you need to actually tell me what you’re suggesting,” Yoonji replied in confusion. She wasn’t sure if there was anything that could make her feel worse today.

“Well, I’ve been texting with my mom,” Jeongguk started, “and she would love to meet you and have you over for dinner. But I don’t know…”

Yoonji exhaled and avoided his searching eyes. “But you don’t know if I can be around your mom when mine just died.” Jeongguk tried to protest, but she quickly waved him off. “No, it’s a valid concern, and it means a lot that you even thought that far. And yeah, honestly, I don’t know if I’m ever going to be… not sad when I’m around people who remind me of my mother.”

Jeongguk gave her a small smile. “I’m sure that’ll get better.”

With a frown, Yoonji reached for Jeongguk’s hands. “You don’t know how I feel, how this feels, and I’m grateful that you don’t. And maybe you’re right, but if you were in my shoes… I have never felt so much pain all at once, and I don’t know what person I will grow into as I continue to carry this pain.”

“You’re right,” Jeongguk replied, and Yoonji felt eternally thankful for her boyfriend. Even though Jeongguk couldn’t grasp how she felt, he had always been respectful about listening to her explain it as best as she could. “If you need me to, I will be right by your side to help you whenever you buckle from the weight. I know I can’t love you back into the person you were before, but I can make sure that you don’t drown in your pain.”

Huffing, Yoonji wiped away the tears escaping her eyes. “Ugh, don’t make me cry more.”

“Sorry.” He pressed a short but sweet kiss to her lips. “Should I tell my mom we’ll come by another night?”

Yoonji forced herself to actually think about it for a moment. She didn’t want jealousy or bitterness to fester in her relationship with Jeongguk’s family. She really wanted to keep him around as long as he wanted to stay. Meeting Jeongguk’s parents wouldn’t heal the open wound that her mother’s death had caused, but maybe, at least for tonight, she could bandage it up a little. “Tell her we’ll be there once I’ve changed out of my work clothes.”

The way Jeongguk’s face lit up was worth the pang in her chest.

Yoonji didn’t seem all that nervous about meeting his parents, so Jeongguk tried to keep his nerves at bay. It wasn’t that he worried about her not getting along with his parents; he was actually more worried about his mother embarrassing him. His last relationship was also his longest one, spanning over his first two years at university. His ex-girlfriend had met his family multiple times, though they had certainly waited longer to make introductions.

This time, Jeongguk didn’t feel the need to wait. He loved Yoonji, and his family would love her too, no doubt about it.

“Yeobo, the telemarketers are back,” his mother shouted back into the house after she opened the door.

Jeongguk turned to Yoonji. “Eomma thinks she’s funny.” He shot his mother a look. “Telemarketers only call you on the phone, Eomma. That’s why they’re called telemarketers.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Well, the telemarketers call more often than you do.” She opened the door wider and bowed in greeting to Yoonji. “Come on in, kids.”

Yoonji bowed deeply before Jeongguk ushered her in. “Eomma, this is my girlfriend, Min Yoonji. Noona, this is my mother, Lee Youngmi.”

Once again, Yoonji bowed, and Jeongguk realised maybe she was a little nervous after all. “Lee Youngmi-ssi, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m sorry we’re dropping by on such short notice.”

“Aish, don’t worry about that, Yoonji-yah. Call me Eomoni or Youngmi, whatever you’re comfortable with.” She smiled softly and extended her arms. “Would you like a hug? I know that-” Jeongguk’s mother didn’t get to finish her sentence before Yoonji sheepishly hugged her.

Jeongguk quickly averted his eyes. This felt like a moment for just his mother and Yoonji. He also ignored Yoonji’s damp eyes when his mother pulled him into a hug afterwards. “Thank you for the invite, Eomma.”

“Dinner’s almost ready. Myungsook will join us a bit later; he has some work to do.” She waved her hands vaguely to let them know that she also didn’t have any details about it. “You can sit down in the living room, and I’ll bring you some water.”

As soon as his mother placed down the water glasses and hurried back into the kitchen, Jeongguk pulled Yoonji into him on the couch. “You okay?” he asked into her hair.

She hummed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Your Eomma’s nice.”

“Yeah?” He gently combed his fingers through her hair. “Just say the word, and we’ll leave, okay? No hard feelings.”

They spent the next few minutes in silence, Jeongguk enjoying just sitting with Yoonji while his girlfriend looked around the room, probably inspecting his family’s questionable interior design and the pictures of Jeongguk on the wall.

“Oh, I forgot!” Jeongguk jumped when his mother suddenly hurried past them to open a drawer of the coffee table. “I’ve got a surprise for you two.” With a bright smile, she pulled out a photograph and pressed it into Jeongguk’s hands. “Okay, back to cooking, I go.” And just like that, she was gone again.

To be fair, Jeongguk wouldn’t have been able to focus on her anyway. Out of the vastness of her photo albums, she had pulled a picture of Jeongguk and Yoonji when they were kids.

“Oh my god,” Yoonji breathed, taking the photo.”I didn’t even know this existed.”

Jeongguk turned it around to see the date on the back. “This was the start of the school year when they assigned you as my mentor. Maybe the school took this?”

They both continued to stare at the photo. Little Yoonji and Jeongguk were wearing their school uniform and it was quite clear that this was the first time they met, they didn’t look familiar with each other at all. But Yoonji had her hands on Jeongguk’s shoulders and they both smiled so cutely.

“Look at us,” Jeongguk said quietly. “If only little Jeonggukkie had known, he already met the woman of his dreams.”

Yoonji snorted and pushed his shoulder away. “You’re so silly.”

Jeongguk laughed. “You’re right, I did know.” He winked at her. “I just thought you were way too old for me.”

Groaning, Yoonji pushed him some more. “You are so awful. You’re supposed to cheer me up.”

“Okay, okay.” He giggled and wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I mean it, though. I did know you were special back then. I wish I knew what would’ve happened if we never lost contact.”

Yoonji turned her face to him and smiled. “I’m glad how it turned out. I think those little idiots grew up just fine.”

“Am I supposed to find this hot?” Yoonji shouted so Jeongguk could hear her on the other side of the plexiglass. “Because I don’t think the mouthguard does it for me.”

Jeongguk replied something but thanks to the aforementioned mouthguard, Yoonji understood absolutely nothing. He was in full hockey gear since the match was about to start. He probably wasn’t supposed to go check on his girlfriend before assuming his position. Yet, here he was anyway.

With a nose scrunch, Jeongguk saluted her and skated off. Yoonji leaned back in her seat and caught Taehee’s amused look. “You know, the mouthguard might not have a great look, but I guarantee you, you’ll be happy when he finishes the match with all his teeth.”

Grimacing, Yoonji nodded. “Did he ever get any teeth knocked out?”

“I don’t think so,” Jimin replied on her other side. “There were a lot of broken bones, though.”

“Gotta love dating athletes,” Yoonji mumbled to herself right as the match started. Now, she had looked up the rules of ice hockey. But seeing it happen in front of her was quite overwhelming. She kind of wished Jeongguk was next to her so he could talk her through everything.

Jimin and Taehee did a good job as well, telling her when to cheer because there was a goal; when to whistle because Jeongguk had scored; and when to be offended because the other team was being unreasonable. At times the game looked very aggressive, and while she had known that Jeongguk was strong, she had not been prepared to see him shoulder-check other players with that much force.

“He’s different, isn’t he? On the ice?” Taehee asked her during the first intermission.

Yoonji laughed. “Yeah, I mean, I know you have to be tough for this sport, but I did not expect this.”

“He doesn’t spend all that much time in the penalty box, though,” Jimin said with a shrug. “Not anymore, at least. That boy had a lot of anger in him when we met him.”

At this, Yoonji had to furrow her eyebrows. “What? My sweet baby?” She couldn’t imagine Jeongguk being full of anger. She’d seen him upset before, but nothing out of the ordinary.

“He and Taehee, both.” With a giggle, Jimin reached around Yoonji to pull on Taehee’s ear. “I’m not saying I was a calm teenager, but these two almost started a fight club. Then, Jeongguk would let out his anger on the ice, which wasn’t healthy either. So, his Eomma made him start kickboxing as well.”

“I’m sure we can find some old pictures for you,” Taehee said and as soon as the words left their mouth, Jimin was already pulling out their phone. “Next time you see Youngmi make sure to ask her about the time she found him sleeping in the kitchen with packs of frozen beans on his face.”

Grinning, Jimin turned his phone screen to Yoonji. “Look, this is when Taehee thought she could cut her own hair and gave herself micro bangs.”

Taehee let out a squawk and ripped the phone out of their hand. “Old pictures of Jeongguk, darling, not me.” She huffed and continued to scroll on Jimin’s phone. “And I still looked cute with those bangs.”

The intermission was soon over, but Yoonji could barely contain her grin when Jeongguk formed a heart with his arms as he got back on the ice - which, in turn, earned him a few playful shoves from his teammates. The more she watched the match, the more she felt like she understood the rules.

As the last seconds of the third and last period ticked down, Yoonji didn’t need any help from Jimin and Taehee to recognise that Jeongguk’s team had won - thanks to one of his teammates scoring with five seconds left. The three of them were out of their seats in no time, jumping up and down along with most of the audience.

It felt so amazing to cheer with all of these strangers, that Yoonji wondered why she had made such a big thing out of not being into sports. Okay, realistically, she still thought her reasons had been valid, but she was happy she felt different now. Jeongguk hadn’t decided yet whether he wanted to join the pro leagues after graduating. Yoonji wanted to support him either way, but for the first time the option didn’t sound all that bad.

Of course, Jeongguk skated over to them as soon as the team had stopped hugging each other. He pulled off his helmet on the way, and the smile on his face was so bright that Yoonji’s heart almost pummeled through her chest. She didn’t know she could be this proud of someone.

“You were great,” she shouted to be heard over the roar of the audience. Jeongguk bowed theatrically as if it was all a performance just for her. Maybe it had been, just a little bit. “If you go get showered, we can have that victory dinner.”

She could tell Jeongguk was just as antsy to hug and kiss her as she was. With a short nod and a mouthed ‘I love you’, he skated off. He would probably be the first of his team to make it back to the locker rooms.

“We’re chopped liver, aren’t we?” Jimin said and rolled their eyes when Yoonji turned to look at them. “He’s only got eyes for his noona.”

“That’s old news, baby, get with the times.”

As he stepped out of the university building and looked across the campus, Jeongguk felt like he could defeat a dragon. The weight that had been pressing on his chest ever since he started writing his master’s thesis had finally lifted. He was invincible. Professor Yang couldn’t hurt him anymore. She had been miffed with him ever since the Greece trip, and though she never found out that he was also the reason Yoonji flew back home early, she made sure to be extra strict as his supervisor once he actually started writing his thesis at the start of the semester. He was also sure she was the reason why his thesis defence just now had entailed a far more detailed discussion than any of his friends had reported about.

But that didn’t matter. It was over. He was done.

As promised, Yoonji was sitting on a park bench just a bit further ahead. He wanted to run to her as fast as he could. So he did.

She was bent down, petting the head of the puppy that was impatiently wiggling between her feet. “I know, Bam-ah. Your Appa is-,” she interrupted herself at the sound of Jeongguk’s feet on the ground. “There he is.”

“Here I am,” he replied, only slightly out of breath. He leaned down to press a kiss to Yoonji’s lips first before he kneeled down and let Bam jump all over him. Getting Bam had been a bit of an impulsive decision. He should’ve probably waited a few more months to get settled before adding another mouth to feed to his household. But his new apartment had felt so lonely and quiet, and after a few nights of research, he had ended up sending a message to the closest animal shelter. A week later, Bam moved in.

On Yoonji’s insistence, he promised her that she wouldn’t be left with all of the responsibility if the puppy parenting got too much. She had wanted nothing to do with Bam because it was his dog, not hers. And yet… she worked most days from Jeongguk’s apartment now, so she could puppysit (her idea). She argued that she could concentrate better with him around rather than Hope. Jeongguk knew that she was hopelessly in love with the dog just as he was.

“How did it go?” Yoonji handed him Bam’s leash and got up from the bench with a quiet grunt.

Jeongguk only grinned. “I defended like I have never defended anything in my life. I can finally leave that stupid piece of-”

Yoonji laughed and bumped their shoulders together. “Hey, that was a damn good paper. Don’t talk it down.”

Groaning, Jeongguk rolled his eyes, but he knew she was right. Professor Yang may have been a pain to work with, but she and his other supervisor had pushed him to his limits, and as a result, he had written a damn good paper. The research from the semester before had been a big help right at the start, though he had to go back over it many times, even after Yoonji left the archives. “Alright, okay, but I never wanna write a single research paper ever again. Those bibliographies can suck my-”

“Understood.” Yoonji laughed and shook her head at him. Probably because Yoonji herself enjoyed writing papers so much that she became an arts journalist; granted, her articles read a lot better than any research paper Jeongguk had ever been forced to consume. She hadn’t been sure whether she’d be good at it, but she was no longer doubting herself these days. She was a good writer, and more importantly, she had fun researching for her articles.

On the other hand, Jeongguk couldn’t wait to leave all that behind. Once he had officially graduated, he could start working full-time as a curator’s assistant at SeMA. In the last few months, he had wanted to gain experience at as many internships as possible, but ended up staying at his first one after falling in love with the job of a curator.

Things were starting to come together after all.

“Where would you like to go now?” Yoonji asked as they left campus. Even though Jeongguk knew he’d be back here in no time and that he hadn’t actually graduated yet, it felt bittersweet to leave. Okay, no, it felt very sweet, less bitter. “We could drop off the baby at home, and go have some dinner?”

“I don’t care,” Jeongguk replied. He grabbed Yoonji’s hand with his free one, interlocking their fingers. “I’ll go anywhere you go.”

Yoonji huffed out a laugh. “You are so…”

“Romantic? Wonderful? Handsome?” Jeongguk offered.

She turned to him with a deadpan stare. “Annoying. Frustrating.”

He smiled. “The love of your life?”

Pursing her lips, she raised an eyebrow. “The love of this decade for now.”

“That’s okay,” Jeongguk replied, and pulled her to a stop so he could lean down and kiss her. “I’m happy to work for the title.” Yoonji smiled against his lips, and they kissed some more until Bam got their legs tangled up by the leash.