Chapter Text
Song Lan knew what he had to do. Regardless of what Xiao Xingchen thought about accepting the good and the bad in the world and Xue Yang, that man was a criminal and a murderer and should be prosecuted, if only to make the world a little better.
All Song Lan could do for Xiao Xingchen was not to act on his convictions on the spot, to give up his personal revenge, and to inform the Jianghu of Xue Yang's whereabouts.
Besides, killing someone, even Xue Yang, out of revenge wasn't very just, even if it was well-deserved, and Song Lan didn't want to put Xiao Xingchen in the middle — or even near — his fight with Xue Yang. Maybe if that man had returned while they were talking, Song Lan wouldn't be able to restrain himself, but Xue Yang didn't, so Song Lan could take a different path forward.
He was going to get as far away from this decrepit place as possible right now, rest until morning, and then fly — probably to Qinghe Nie, or maybe ask in the nearest big city about when and where the next big cultivator's conference will be held.
His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar girl's voice.
"Daozhang! Daozhang Song, wait!"
The girl from earlier — A-Qing — ran towards him, deftly avoiding stones and sticks on the uneven street, even though it was quite dark. Then Song Lan remembered that she was also blind, so the night made no difference to her as long as the streets were familiar.
"Wait, Daozhang!" she skipped to a halt near him, and Song Lan suddenly thought that all of this still didn't explain how a blind person had found him in the first place. Then again, there was only one direct route to the city gates, and he wasn't exactly trying to walk silently.
"I'm here," he said, just to let her know.
"Oomph," the girl sighed loudly, then took a deep breath, "I heard them. They're going to move out. Are you really going to tell the other cultivators that the horrible man lives here?"
Song Lan nodded, but as the girl remained silent with her face turned somewhere between him and the nearest building, he remembered she could not see nonverbal answers and added, "Yes."
Her warning left a sour taste in his mouth. That was... that was apparently what Song Lan was counting on, but tried not to think about. He couldn't in good conscience let Xue Yang stay free — and with free access to harm Xiao Xinchen, but the thought of depriving Xiao Xinchen of yet another thing which was so important to him didn't sit well with Song Lan either.
So he came up with a plan that would take some time to execute, trying not to think that Xiao Xinchen and Xue Yang could just disappear in the meantime.
It was a bit too hypocritical. Doing what he thought was his duty while letting Xiao Xinchen to keep his life a bit longer. Not forever, though, because once alerted, the cultivators will hunt Xue Yang down. Song Lan has heard that the Jiang Clan leader is especially notorious for his hatred towards dark cultivators. Maybe he should go directly to Yunmeng?..
These thoughts were already at the forefront of his mind, thinly veiled by denial, so it didn't take more than a moment to acknowledge them. And then the girl was speaking again.
"I will help you!" she said vehemently. "I'll go with them, and I'll send you letters... will ask people to write them for me, to let you know where we are. And I'll keep an eye on the daoshi so that this... piece of trash doesn't hurt him. I always knew he was bad news, from the beginning..."
Song Lan frowned. The girl was saying what he was thinking and what he wanted to hear from Xingchen, but somehow this didn't seem quite right to him.
"Has Xue Yang... this man done you any harm?" he asked, trying to figure out what exactly wasn't right.
"No... not really, I can stand up for myself, you know," the girl answered. "It's just he sneaked in our life as if he had any right to. He mocks daoshi all the time, he makes fun of everyone, and he threatens people — sure, some of them deserve it, but not all do, — he's just mean and dangerous, and while he didn't exactly do anything outright, i am not at all surprised that he's a murderer. Such a man just can't be with daoshi! Daoshi deserves better!"
Song Lan continued to frown. He firmly believed that stopping a criminal was the duty of everyone who had the means and power to do so, and this little blind girl had offered to help him as much as she could, and it should have been right... but wasn't.
Because it was not justice that drove her, but simple dislike and jealousy about someone else having a place next to Xiao Xingchen. Why should her dislike outweigh Xingchen's liking (who said "he's the world to me" like he meant it)? And Song Lan couldn't help but see himself in this girl. Yes, he had real reasons to hate Xue Yang, but besides justice and revenge, he was also driven by jealousy. Xingchen had found someone else important, and Song Lan was mourning what they had and lost because he couldn't accept Xingchen's sacrifice, couldn't accept that he, not Xue Yang, was the reason Xingchen was blind, and now... now he was planning to take something else from Xingchen, and it didn't seem just or fair, even if Xue Yang deserved everything cultivators could do to him, and maybe much more.
He did, but Xiao Xingchen didn't. And Song Lan knew that telling the cultivators about Xue Yang was not a good thing to do, otherwise he'd had no problems with telling so to Xingchen outright. No, he cowardly planned to go behind his back, as if Xingchen wouldn't understand what happened, when people came looking for them.
His thoughts a jumbled mess, Song Lan grabbed the girl's — A-Qing, her name's A-Qing — shoulder.
"We're going back," he said, and didn't utter a single syllable more as they walked back — her dragging her feet — despite being assailed with incessant questions.
* * *
Xue Yang angrily slammed the door, not caring if it or the jamb broke, it's not like they're going to live here much longer. He still had the presence of mind to call out "I'm back" first so as not to startle Xingchen, but he was furious and didn't feel the need to hide it.
"Change of plans," he grumbled when he found Xingchen in their room with a couple of half-full bags. Judging by the state of the room, he'd packed every scrap of cloth he could find, which was sensible, but didn't seem important anymore.
"The little shit isn't coming with us," he said, seething. "Apparently, she hates me so much that she offered your... Song Lan to snitch on us and tell him where we are going."
Xingchen turned to him in obvious distress with a soft "oh" on his lips. Xue Yang shouldn't have felt hurt — he didn't even like the brat — but he did, and it made him angry and annoyed. And there was nothing to be angry at, because Xingchen was always out of bounds, and there wasn't much to break in an almost empty room.
"Let's just get our things and go," he said, walking over to Xingchen and hugging him. It was his second best way to feel calmer and it quickly worked wonders. "They're welcome to each other. Seems like they should have a lot in common."
Like a big fat hatred towards Xue Yang. A lot to talk about, for sure. Xue Yang still didn't understand why exactly Xingchen was so accepting, but he was well aware of his many negative traits that people always took care to point out to him. Should keep them busy while he and Xingchen look for a new place somewhere. Preferably somewhere warm.
Xue Yang was heading out to bring in the almost forgotten market fare and see what could be taken on a trip when the door opened and the cause of his annoyance walked in.
"Stay back," Xue Yang unthinkingly shouted to Xingchen, certain that things were about to get ugly, but of course it had the opposite effect and Xingchen immediately ran into the kitchen. "Song Lan is here with the little shit," he explained with a sigh.
Xingchen immediately reached for his sword, and at the same time, Song Lan said, "I came in peace," looking at Xue Yang as if he wished his own words were a lie, but miraculously did not reach for the sword.
Xue Yang still drew Jiangzai just for fun of it, but didn't make any more moves. It didn't seem wise to him to be the one who started the fight. Let Song Lan bury himself deeper in Xingchen's eyes if he wants to.
"Zichen," Xingchen said.
"I heard you talking," Xue Yang said at the same time, because this bullshit was getting boring fast. He wanted to be out of here, he wanted his talk with Xingchen, and he also wanted a lot of other things with Xingchen which he hoped were still possible, and none of them required an audience.
"I won't," Song Lan said as if it explained anything. Xue Yang squinted at him, noticing that the daozhang still wouldn't let go of A-Qing's shoulder. "I won't go back to the Orders behind your back. I won't tell anyone that I saw Xue Yang. I... I will leave you to live in peace."
Xue Yang snorted, not quite believing him, but Xingchen was beaming as if his long-lost friend returned to him after years of separation, so instead of cutting Song Lan off with sarcasm, Xue Yang turned to practical matters.
"Doesn't matter now, does it? Now that the little shit here knows there are people out to get me — as if that wasn't fucking obvious from how you found me, really — she'll just rat me out on her own. What's to stop her?"
The worst thing about it was that it was the truth and not something he said just to annoy Song Lan. They had to leave — not that Xue Yang would shed any tears for putting this place behind them — and they had to do it in a way that would prevent A-Qing from following.
Xue Yang never had the reason to take someone up on his sword, so he wasn't sure if he could, but this seemed to be their best option now, all things considered.
A-Qing hissed and tried to get out of Song Lan's grip. Xue Yang still remembered that grip and would have told her not to bother — but she learned it herself soon enough.
"I'm sorry," Song Lan said, still looking at Xingchen and ignoring Xue Yang as if he wasn't there. Still, Xue Yang had no complaints as long as the stick-up daozhang did not brandish his sword around and seemed willing to talk.
"A-Qing..." Xingchen began.
"He's bad for you!" A-Qing shouted. "He's bad overall, I always knew that, I told you so, he's just biding his time and then he'll slit your throat at night or something! He's up to no good, and he doesn't even hide it that much, and I don't know what he's waiting for, but I don't want you to stay around him long enough to find out!"
Xue Yang felt like this was both deserved and undeserved at the same time. Every word the brat said was true, but the whole thing was somehow not, because he didn't want to hurt Xiao Xingchen, not anymore, even if he did at first. Still, Xue Yang couldn't blame her, but he also couldn't let her be, not with that attitude, because even if Xingchen managed to talk her down now, the idea was already there, and the brat would act on it sooner rather than later.
But if he killed her now, Xingchen would still be upset, and Song Lan might feel vindicated enough to take justice into his own hands right here and now.
"Do any of you know a harmless way to knock her out?" Xue Yang asked resignedly. Probably one of the esteemed daozhangs (or both) wouldn't like what he was about to do anyway, but it was a better alternative than murder. "What?" he added under Song Lan's disapproving gaze and Xingchen's unhappy silence. "We need to discuss things without her listening in, we cannot allow her to wander around unsupervised, and all the ways I know are at least somewhat harmful, which will hardly make you happy, so... can any of the enlightened cultivators do the honors, or should this rogue one do it?"
Xingchen took a step forward, and Song Lan, frowning, moved his hand to A-Qing's neck and pressed, then caught her as she started to fall.
""Thanks," Xue Yang said cheekily. "Congratulations, daozhang Song, you have prevented a crime. Now, if you could please follow me and bring her to the bed so that I could prevent a betrayal..." he didn't add "inspired by you," but made sure to convey it to Song Lan with his eyes. Ah, the joys of being around someone not blind for a change!
He wasn't sure if his message was understood, though.
Song Lan placed the girl on the bare bed, little more than planks and straw, and stayed by her side.
"What do you want to do to her?" he asked, voice dripping with suspicion.
Xingchen had followed them and was now hovering at the door, unusually silent.
"I'm not going to change now that you know," Xue Yang said, looking at him. He could also play the game of not noticing the third person in the room unless he absolutely had to. "I'm still me, and yes, I'm not a nice person, but as the Little Blind said, I never exactly tried to pretend I was nice. Nothing has changed except that now I know that you know, but I'm not going to start slitting people's throats just for the fun of it now that I don't need to hide."
He didn't feel bitter... ok, maybe he did a little bit, because Xingchen said he accepts him as he is, good and bad, but right now everyone seemed to be fixated on "bad". Stupid brat and her poisonous suspicions. So yes, Xue Yang has thought about getting rid of her on a regular basis, but the point is — he didn't try to do it, even before things changed and he started to care about Xingchen's feelings. And he didn't snitch about her doing some pickpocketing on the side or miraculously getting new clothes and trinkets that Xingchen couldn't see. So, yes, he was kinda hurt, and now Xingchen started to suspect him...
Xue Yang felt warm hands on his waist and his anger abated.
"I'm sorry, Chengmei," hot breath caressed his ear and Xue Yang sighed, letting go of his resentment. "I don't... it's not about you. I thought you were on better terms with A-Qing, and your mutual teasing was just friendly. I am... disappointed in her. Especially since you still haven't slit her throat despite all her efforts." The tone of the last words was light and playful. Xue Yang let out an indignant huff and laughed, letting himself relax in Xincheng's hands. If Xincheng could refer to his regular jokes about this, then all was well.
"Actually," he said, his words surprisingly devoid of venom, as he looked pensively at A-Qing, "I thought so too. And I need your — and I mean both of you, because I don't want the dark statue over there to decide that I don't deserve any leniency — advice on what to do here."
This was something Xue Yang had learned from Meng Yao: if you are going to do something that is not unequivocally good, and there are witnesses who might not approve, then involve them in some way so they will be more willing to squint until your joint deeds shine crystal white. Xue Yang rarely practiced this, as he usually didn't care enough about what others would think (or if he did, he wanted them to be scared and disgusted), but now was the good time to apply this lesson.
"I can..." he trailed off. What he was about to suggest wasn't exactly dark cultivation, but only because it didn't involve any external qi. However, it was a dark forbidden practice (as most interesting things were), and chances were high that both daozhangs didn't know shit about it. So Xue Yang could have said anything he wanted... and get rid of the nosy brat for good.
Still, it felt nice to be able to say to Xiao Xingchen that he never lied to him. And he really thought they were friendly with the brat, and he'd kinda gotten used to her. And Xingchen was sad about her behavior, and they wouldn't be able to fix it if they dumped the blind luggage.
"I can mess with her memory," he said resignedly. "Not erase it, that would be harmful, but muddle it a bit, like when you wake up with a hangover and you do remember that you broke a couple of tables and noses, but have no idea where it was and whose noses they were." He shot a sideways glance back at Xingchen. "Although I have a feeling you have no idea what I am talking about."
This earned him a short laugh, which made Xue Yang's insides warm and fuzzy again.
"I am... familiar with the theory of the 'morning after'," Xingchen said.
"'So that's like this, only without the headache, or at least it won't be nearly as bad. She won't remember much of this evening — maybe just that she met daozhang Song, or that she saw him leaving the house, or that there was some conversation she tried to eavesdrop on, but no details. Then we can take her with us, and I promise to work on the whole 'friendliness' thing, and you can help us bond better, or whatever, so hopefully when she remembers, or someone else recognizes me and comes swinging, she would be more willing to take our side, maybe?"
He could also make her forget the whole last three years, so she'll vaguely remember living with a daozhang and his friend in black who went away one night and never came back. They do dangerous work, those noble daozhangs. And he was tempted, but... not for real. It somehow seemed less fun than the other option, even though the brat was willing to betray him to cultivators.
Song Lan was frowning again. Xue Yang wondered how he didn't get a permanent crease there with how often he did this. He also intended to find a moment to tell Song Lan that he really should treat Xiao Xingchen's eyes better than this constant squinting — sometime when Xingchen ouldn't be within earshot.
"What?" he asked instead. "Still not nice enough for you, daozhang Song? This is the nicest solution to our mutual problem, honestly..."
"No," the frown deepened. "This is actually... a good solution. But you do not need to leave. I said I won't tell anyone I saw you, and I'm not a liar."
Song Lan still didn't quite address Xue Yang or look at him, even when obviously responding to him.
Xue Yang gaped. He managed to miss this rather obvious detail. So he turned around in the loose embrace to face Xiao Xingchen.
When Xue Yang first saw Xiao Xingchen in their new life, and for a while afterward, he found it difficult to read his facial expressions. The blindfold covered too much of what is normally exposed, and then there was the whole thing of not having eyes and all the micro-expressions that go with that.
But that had changed a long time ago. Now, Xiao Xingchen's face was as open to him as any other, or even more so because Xue Yang knew him so well. And right now, his daozhang looked thoughtful and a bit hopeful, although Xue Yang didn't know what exactly Xincheng was hoping for.
"I... wouldn't be opposed to traveling," Xue Yang said cautiously, testing the waters. Xingchen's expression remained hopeful and became a little... lighter, and Xue Yang continued, encouraged. "This is home, but honestly, the whole town sucks, and I'm not the one to put down roots, not really. Now that we both know everything there is to know about each other, and know which places and people we should avoid and why... why not go out there, wander a bit, see things, help more people than one small town and a bunch of villages? There is work for us everywhere, and the world is waiting!"
Xingchen nodded.
"The need to leave made me realize how much I missed that," he said softly. And then, touching Xue Yang's face, added. "And I also agree that your solution is good. I trust that you will not do anything to harm A-Qing. What do you need?"
" Your needles," Xue Yang replied, enjoying the solid rock under his feet and the vision of a bright future ahead.
It didn't dim even when he realized that the black crow had invited himself to join them for some reason. Better to have him where Xue Yang can see him to make sure he doesn't come to his senses and run to Nies or Jiangs.
He guessed that Song Lan stayed for a similar reason, to keep an eye on him. Xue Yang could live with that. If Song Lan liked to get all hot and bothered watching as Xue Yang was handsy with Xingchen, it was not his problem, — or maybe it wasn't a problem at all.
Ah, and A-Qing indeed forgot that he was a wanted criminal, hiding from most of the cultivation world, not just an up to no good rando. Not that their relationship had improved much, but it had changed somewhat, ironically thanks to Song Lan, because with another addition to their small group, Xue Yang was less of an intruder and more of a part of this new life.
Whatever, you can't win them all. Xiao Xingchen was happy, and that was all that mattered to Xue Yang.