Chapter Text
By Elysium
You are tired. Which is not unjustifiable, after all you just saved the world and because of that you’ve been separated from your soul. That’s not something you can explain. But no one’s explained to you what happened up there, and you don’t think anyone’s going to. It’s just something you know, the same way you know your Personas. You know your soul is spent elsewhere, and only the dregs remain in your body. You know the dregs are running out.
You feel the loss keenly. Every day, every hour, every minute awake is another bit of yourself lost. Another part of everything that makes you ‘Kotone’ is spent to keep your eyes open. It’s a worthy sacrifice because you don’t need to be you to be the Seal. You do need to be awake to see your friends graduate. You promised you’d see your friends graduate.
You burn childhood memories, fantasies of your future, learned skills, happy moments, and painful tragedies. You throw the furniture of your mind into its engine fire. You’ve clawed your way through the days; through March third, fourth, and finally the fifth has arrived. Finally, it is graduation day.
Even the task of getting to school is difficult for you. You have almost no energy to spend, but someone helps you. They’re a friend, you know that. They fought … something with you. You can’t remember what, but you remember that it was important. That the battle was for something you couldn’t lose.
Yukari, you decide, is your assistant. That name is firmly linked with friendship in your mind. She holds your arm gently and supports you. Her hands are cold; you are cold. You do not shiver; shivering would require energy and you do not want to lose the few memories left to you.
Class is boring and it mostly goes over your head. The teacher is familiar, you think she asked you to join a club. You don’t remember the club, but you feel proud anyway. It must have been important to you.
The teacher lectures and your friends surround you. You know one of them is Yukari but not which. You didn’t see where she went after she sat you down. A student with a cap grins at you, his face tinged with worry. Is he Yukari? You smile back to ease his burden. You hope the expression reaches your eyes.
A bell rings and hands find your arm. They help you to your feet and out of the classroom. A gentle voice explains it is lunch and you are relieved, because the graduation ceremony is after lunch. You just have to hold on a little longer.
You feel the memory of your first friend burn away. You think they were important, the impression of a face enters your mind. It is soft and kind, framed by black hair. You feel proud again but the memory feels wrong.
Yukari, you assume, holds your arm and helps you up the stairs. You take them one at a time because each is a great exertion. You feel like you were fit before this. You remember running and other sports and battles and feel like it has been a long time since you were out of breath.
Other people watch you climb. You discover you cannot read the emotions on their faces, you’ve forgotten how. You reach the top of the stairs and try to regain your breath. Your companion helps you forward and opens the door.
She takes you to a bench and you collapse onto it. She sits next to you and starts to talk. You want to listen. You really, really do. You catch snippets about how she wants to help protect you, how she’s happy. She says she’s found meaning in life, and friends to be with. You feel happy for her.
A memory fades, the last one you had. It leaves you with a few impressions: blood, screaming, tragedy, a bridge. Yukari offers her lap as a pillow and you accept immediately. Her legs aren’t very soft and are very cold. You find them comfortable anyway. Yukari smiles and starts to run her hand through your hair.
You try to force your eyes wider. A name leaves your mind. You look up at your companion and try to smile back. She hushes you, and tells you to sleep, tells you that she will watch over you and be there when you wake up. You weren’t meant to sleep. You can only fall asleep at night because … because why again? You don’t remember why you can’t sleep.
You nod and smile. Your companion will keep watch over you. You trust her, although it suddenly occurs to you that you’ve never asked for her name. No, that can’t be right. Maybe you’ve forgotten?
You’ll ask when you wake up. Then the two of you will go see your friends graduate. And then something will happen. You don’t remember what, but you do remember that it is important. The world seal comes to mind.
The thought occurs to you that you should say something to this helper before you fall asleep. “T-thank you,” you manage to whisper (was talking always this tiring?), “for everything.” That seems appropriate to you. She has been a big help. There’s no way you would have been able to manage those stairs on your own.
Your helper smiles down on you. Her eyes seem packed with emotion (You don’t remember what it is called. You hate that you can’t remember what it’s called). Pinpricks of water form at the corner of your eyes. You smile back. The water trails down your face. Your eyes flicker shut.