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English
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Published:
2024-08-07
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1/1
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in living color

Summary:

“why’d you wanna call?” schlatt could hear the smile in ted’s voice.

 

“well, you’ve been saying… weird shit in the podcast, and then texting me, and—” schlatt started.

 

“‘weird shit’?” ted asked.

 

“oh, don’t play dumb. calling me pretty and that kinda stuff. you know.”

 

“that’s not weird, schlatt. i think you’re a really good-looking guy. nothing wrong with saying that.”

-

or, ted’s compliments get under schlatt’s skin during a podcast recording.

Notes:

inspired by this clip (also follow my twitter ahaha @meloisthinking):

https://x.com/meloisthinking/status/1771000978663145723/video/1

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“you look pretty today, schlatt,” ted commented. it was out of the blue, in the middle of a chuckle sandwich recording. 

 

“excuse me?” schlatt scoffed. 

 

“yeah, dude. you’ve got the nice glasses, fresh haircut, it suits you,” tucker chimed in. “maybe you’re in your fashion era, like ted.”

 

schlatt swallowed. 

 

“i am not pretty, i’m a six-foot-three, two hundred and fifty pound man.”

 

“nothing wrong with being a little cute,” ted smiled. 

 

schlatt’s eyes darted to the display of his webcam footage in the corner of his monitor. he looked at himself through the screen. did he look pretty? most of the time, he barely bothered to comb through his hair before recording. today, he looked just as he did most days, just minus the yankees cap. his hair was tousled and messy, maybe a bit too short for his liking on the sides. he was wearing a crewneck sweatshirt and basketball shorts, not that ted and tucker could see his shorts, but an overall standard outfit for him. his aviator-frame glasses rested on the bridge of his nose — a little serial killer-esque, but according to his co-hosts, it was working. 

 

“admiring yourself, man?” ted laughed. schlatt must have been quiet for awhile. 

 

schlatt played up his embarrassment for the cameras, but he couldn’t help but glance down at his screen again, trying to see what ted saw. 

 

how did ted perceive him? before this, schlatt hadn’t even considered that ted looked at him and saw anything beautiful, as an objective observer or otherwise. he felt his cheeks flush. 

 

the podcast recording was over before schlatt knew it. he barely registered the last fifteen minutes, offering just enough input to avoid suspicion while turning over ted’s words in his mind the entire time. schlatt said his goodbyes and clicked out of the call without incident, sitting at his desk for a moment longer trying to figure out what the hell ted meant by any of that. 

 

a buzz from his phone snapped schlatt out of his thoughts. it was a text from ted, speak of the devil. 

 

 

ted: hey you seemed spaced out during the last bit of that recording, everything alright?

 

 

schlatt typed out his response, almost on autopilot. 

 

 

schlatt: yea im ok just tired

schlatt: long week yk 

 

 

usually that was enough to get whoever was asking off his back, or at least to communicate that he didn’t want to talk about it. ted’s response chimed in a few seconds later. 

 

 

ted: so it didn’t have anything to do with me saying how pretty you looked?

 

 

schlatt didn’t know what to say, so he typed out a vague non-response to ted in return. 

 

 

schlatt: haha

 

ted: im being serious

ted: i think the reason you were so out of it was because i called you pretty 

ted: and you liked it

 

schlatt: wdym

 

ted: you like when i say how handsome i think you are

 

 

fuck. 

 

 

schlatt: call me

 

 

schlatt could hear his heart beating in his ears as he tugged his headphones back on and waited for a call from ted. or not. maybe this was all a joke and ted wasn’t going to call. 

 

just as schlatt was about to accept that ted was messing with him, he was jolted alert by the sound of an incoming call. ted. schlatt grabbed his mouse and hovered over the ‘accept call’ button, steeling his nerves — and stalling so he didn’t look too eager, of course. 

 

he clicked.

 

“hey, schlatt.” ted’s voice filled his ears after a brief pause. 

 

“hey.”

 

“why’d you wanna call?” schlatt could hear the smile in ted’s voice. 

 

“well, you’ve been saying… weird shit in the podcast, and then texting me, and—” schlatt started. 

 

“‘weird shit’?” ted asked. 

 

“oh, don’t play dumb. calling me pretty and that kinda stuff. you know.”

 

“that’s not weird, schlatt. i think you’re a really good-looking guy. nothing wrong with saying that.”

 

god, talking to ted was like answering a riddle sometimes. they both knew what ted meant, but ted kept playing coy and hiding behind his words. 

 

“yeah, but you made it weird.”

 

“oh, so i’m right? you do like when i call you cute.”

 

schlatt flushed. “see, that’s weird. i don’t— ted, i’m not fucking cute, why do you—” schlatt stammered. 

 

“turn on your camera,” ted said. a command. 

 

schlatt didn’t even have the wherewithal to argue, just reaching for his webcam and adjusting it before sending a video call request to ted. 

 

ted accepted, and within seconds schlatt saw the shit-eating grin on ted’s face pop up on his monitor. 

 

“hiya, pretty boy.”

 

“shut the fuck up, sincerely,” schlatt muttered. he tried to hide his face with his hand to obscure the faint redness that he felt rising in his cheeks.  

 

“you look flustered, schlatt,” ted mused. “any reason?”

 

“you keep fucking saying shit, man. i’ve gotten…” 

 

“hot and bothered?” ted teased. “all just from saying how handsome you look right now, how good your hair looks, how pretty that blush is on your face—”

 

“quit fucking teasing me, ted,” schlatt said forcefully. he thanked god that his webcam didn’t show his lower body and shifted in his seat, trying not to let on that all of the praise had gone straight to his cock. 

 

“i’m not teasing you, schlatt. i’m being honest. you get hotter every time we record, god, let alone seeing you in person. you’re lucky i’ve held off for so long.”

 

“what do you mean?” schlatt’s voice wavered. 

 

“whenever i see you, all i can think about is what i’d do to you if we were alone. if the cameras weren’t on us,” ted said, voice gravelly and low. 

 

schlatt’s heart pounded in his chest. he slowly traced a hand down to his crotch. “what would you do?” he breathed.

 

ted looked as though he was about to speak, but caught himself and paused. “how much do you want me to tell you?”

 

schlatt’s brow furrowed slightly. “tell me everything, ted.”

 

“well, i’d wrap your pretty fucking lips around my cock and fuck your face ‘til you cried, for one. you drive me insane, you know. every time you eat something while we’re recording, it’s all i’m thinking about. how fucking good you’d look on your knees for me.”

 

oh, jesus. schlatt sucked in a breath and slowly palmed his growing erection through his shorts. he looked at ted through the screen, focused on nothing but what he was saying. “…what else?”

 

“i wanna hear that stupidly hot voice of yours moaning my fucking name. i wanna make you scream.”

 

“god, fuck,” schlatt swore. ted’s words were enough to send his thoughts through all kinds of filthy possibilities. “ted, you can’t just say that.”

 

“schlatt, are you hard?” 

 

schlatt’s head snapped up to look at ted in surprise and embarrassment. “sorry, i—”

 

“touch yourself. for me. imagine i’m there,” ted ordered. “let me see you, all of you.”

 

schlatt’s eyes widened, but he obeyed, moving backwards in his chair so that his lower body came into the frame of his webcam. he watched as ted did the same, heart skipping a beat as he saw the bulge in ted’s own pants. once he was sure ted could see him, he began pulling down his shorts and hesitantly gripping the hardness in his boxers. 

 

“go ahead, pretty boy.”

 

schlatt hadn’t even realized that he was waiting for permission from ted until it was granted to him. 

 

ah.” schlatt hissed at the sensation of finally putting friction on his bare cock as he freed it from the confines of his underwear, acutely aware of ted’s eyes on him. 

 

“oh, look at you, schlatt. so fucking beautiful with your cock out for me. god, you look so good like this, all embarrassed and quiet.”

 

schlatt shuddered at ted’s words. he felt his cheeks heat up even further as ted slowly began to unbuckle his own belt, his eyes never leaving schlatt. “keep— keep talking to me. please.” schlatt’s voice was soft, uncharacteristically so. he didn’t know why ted had such an effect on him, but the praise made him feel dizzy and he wanted nothing more than for ted to tell him more. 

 

“of course, schlatt, since you asked so nicely,” ted grinned. “god, everything about you drives me wild. you’re so fucking pretty, you have no idea. no idea what i’d do to you.”

 

“tell me more,” schlatt said with a groan as he stroked himself lightly. 

 

“i wanna suck you off until you’re shaking and those gorgeous fucking thighs lock around my head. listen to all your noises, all your cute little gasps and moans. i wonder how you’d sound if i was the one touching you right now.”

 

schlatt moaned aloud at that. just thinking about ted’s long fingers wrapped around schlatt’s cock, stroking and teasing him in a way only ted could, had schlatt’s mind running wild. “fuck, that’s…” 

 

he’d be firm, schlatt imagined, but gentle and deft with his movements. he’d tease schlatt, definitely, running his fingers along the shaft lightly and tracing around the tip. schlatt slowly guided his hand in the same motions that he imagined ted would and gasped at the sensations. 

 

“god, keep moaning for me, pretty boy,” ted panted. “you’re so fucking sexy. i thought i’d have to gag you when i fuck you so you wouldn’t be a whiny little brat, but those fucking moans.”

 

when ted fucks him. not if

 

schlatt inhaled sharply. “you’ve thought about fucking me?”

 

“more than you can even imagine, pretty boy. i would’ve pounded your cute ass bent over the chuckle week set if you’d’ve let me. you’d be so fucking tight, so good for me, i know it.” ted finally shucked off his pants and pulled out his cock, and schlatt was enamored immediately. 

 

“jesus, you’re fucking big,” schlatt choked. did ted think that that was going inside of him?

 

“you can take it.” schlatt found himself nodding as he watched ted stroke himself, transfixed. “yeah, you want to? want me to fuck you, schlatt?”

 

schlatt’s mind rapid-fired through a dozen scenarios in that moment, none of them anticipated and all of them completely debauched. he couldn’t ignore the spark that was lit in his gut as the hand on his cock sped up. 

 

“yeah,” schlatt breathed. 

 

ted looked a bit caught off-guard, but quickly latched on to schlatt’s admission. “good, good fucking boy. i’d fucking ruin you, baby. open you up nice and slow on my fingers ‘til you beg for more, then fuck you stupid on my cock.”

 

“please,” schlatt nearly whimpered. he tried to imagined the way ted would feel, hot and heavy all around him, but realized he had no idea what to even expect from that kind of sex. “ted, i’ve never—”

 

“i know, schlatt, don’t worry. i’ll be nice to you the first time. i promise.” ted moaned and even through the screen, schlatt could see the way his hips were rutting into his hand. “god, i’m already so close. you’re so sexy when you fall apart for me like that, i can’t help it.”

 

“me too, me too,” schlatt gasped. “fuck, ted, cum for me. please, i wanna see it.”

 

“oh my god—” ted choked, eyes wide, before suddenly spilling all over his hand with a moan. “that was the hottest thing i’ve ever heard.”

 

the sight of ted cumming along with knowing that he was thinking about schlatt while he did it pushed schlatt over the edge moments after ted. “fuck!”

 

schlatt could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he came at last. ted’s honey-sweet words and deep moans filled his ears, blocking out any thoughts besides ted. schlatt could feel his spend dripping down his hand and onto his shorts, but he stayed still, basking in the feeling he’d craved for so long. and god, it was perfect. 

 

after a few moments of heavy silence in the call, schlatt took a deep breath. 

 

“so, when are you coming to new york?”

Notes:

i wrote this before ted went to nyc but i definitely manifested it through this fic