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Festering Emotions

Summary:

When Bakugou is taken by LOV, he experiences a horror he could never have fathomed.

Stripped of his quirk and forced to experience the world in an entirely new way, Bakugou struggles to keep himself afloat.

Or

A small one shot about Bakugou gaining an empathy quirk and suffering from the sudden change in his world.

Notes:

I originally had no intention to post this, simply because I could never come up with a satisfying second chapter, but after reading the final chapter of the manga I was more than motivated to share my silly idea. This chapter is at least a couple years old, so I feel a little silly posting it.

This isn't a serious idea, not really, so my explanation for the quirks might be kinda wibbly wobbly, so please forgive any oddness.

I hope you all like it.

Work Text:

His back was aching, his legs were sore, and his hands stung from self induced burns. Katsuki had no idea how long he had been strapped to the world's most uncomfortable chair, but he was getting sick of it. The bar around him was clean and quiet, the blond girl had fucked off to god knows where, and none of his other captors were inclined to talk.

It was easier for him to focus on his annoyance, on his failure to protect himself, the pain he felt, then it was to admit that he was afraid.

He didn't know what these villains wanted, he didn't fully buy Hand Freak’s preaching about simply wanting him to join their party. Katsuki understood that his brash nature made people assume the worst of him, he became intimately aware of that after his internship, that week filled with all the reasons he should be anyone but himself.

Though while he may look like a good target, they went through a lot of trouble to get him here. No one put that much work in for such a flimsy reason.

Despite all his many flaws, he would never be a Villain. He didn't want to hurt or kill people for his own selfish desires. While he didn't put stock into rescuing people when they were anything but helpless, he wanted to be the best. He would be the greatest hero, he would be better than even All Might, better than Deku.

He wasn't sure what he was worth to these Villains, but he didn't think his chance of survival without rescue was high. Eventually something was going to give, and it wasn't going to be him. There hadn't yet been a chance to escape on his own, not with how someone was always watching him.

Above all he was nervous, Hand Freak had debated letting him out of his bonds, but had paused when Katsuki cursed him out and called his hand collection repulsive. Something in the air had changed, a pressure he could feel but couldn't place. Hand Freak had looked at the monitor behind him and asked someone called Sensei for help.

That was when the blondie with the knife fetish had left, since then no one had so much as moved.

After a small eternity a sudden voice from the monitor broke the silence of the room. The voice was cold and soft, with a distinct mechanical edge.

“Of course Shigaraki, I am always willing to help you. I know just what to do, come, bring Bakugou to me.”

The relief from Hand Freak was palatable, and that alone made his heart sink more.

Katsuki began to struggle harder, desperate to get out of his bonds before he met the one who was obviously in charge of this operation.

He had no desire to find out how the man was going to help make Katsuki join the League.

He opened his mouth to curse, to yell, maybe to scream, but before he could make a sound Scar Face covered his face, the threat in the action apparent from the heat of his palm.

He went still, allowing the man to lift him out of the chair like a sack of potatoes and walk him through yet another dark portal, Hand Freak walking in front of them. He refused to close his eyes, wanting to look upon the place he would likely die.

The room was dark, what little color the room had was washed out by the light of several large monitors. A large leather chair sat in the middle of the room, empty and surrounded by various mechanical wires and tubes. He didn't have a chance to look at everything closely before his attention was stolen by a large man standing in the center of the room, barely ten feet away.

The man was massive, comparable to All Might. He was in a dark suit without a single wrinkle and his face was covered by the strangest mask Katsuki had ever seen. Every instinct was screaming at him to get away, to hide away from this man he could feel gazing at him.

The only sound in the room became the hum of technology and the muffled popping of Katsuki’s quirk going off in his bindings.

He felt like this man, Sensei, could see every part of him, that there was nothing to hide. He felt something he had never felt before in his life, he wanted to vanish. Katsuki wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He did not want this man and his considerable attention to be on him.

“Can you help him, Sensei?”

Can you help him, not me. That wording struck him as strange, throwing him out of the syrupy panic that had been crawling up his throat. Suddenly he could again feel the hot palm against his mouth, the strain in his legs from the way Scar Face was holding him, the burning ache of his own hands.

Sensations that grounded him to the moment.

Something about the change of his mindset must have been apparent, the man called Sensei made a small humming noise, something like an agreement.

“You made a strong choice, I know just how to help him. A quirk that lets him understand the world around him, yes, that would be the best. A second one for balance and it will be perfect.”

Katsuki couldn't understand what the man was talking about, all he knew was at that moment Scar Face let him go and pushed him forward. All he could do was stumble and mutter a ‘what the fuck’ before his entire world became the man before him.

There was a hand on his chest, the man was touching him. It didn't feel right, none of it felt real.

A strange pulling sensation filled his body and suddenly he wasn't aware of anything but the pulling. The man was trying to pull out his soul, and no matter how hard Katsuki tried to stop him it simply kept flowing away. He thought he could distantly hear screaming, but he wasn't sure.

Soon, far too soon and far too long, his body was empty of his soul. It was like the things that made him himself were just gone, gone into the man’s hand.

Everything was empty, so empty he couldn't even call it cold. It was simply the lack of anything, the frightening feeling of floating alone in the world, it consumed him.

Then he was suddenly being filled back up, too much, too much, it didn't fit. It stretched and bulged inside him, its insidious claws tearing and burrowing into everything. Claws in his mind, a hand digging into his heart, his blood, his every nerve going bright with something he had never felt before and couldn't name.

He almost missed the emptiness of before, in the face of so much. The feeling invading his soul suddenly reached a fever pitch, swelling and swelling until Katsuki couldn't take it anymore and let go.

-------------------

Awareness came slowly, like waking up from a nap after you slept for hours longer than you meant to. It took a moment to realize he was sitting in a familiarly uncomfortable chair, the buzz of the small bar around him. He wanted to feel upset, or angry, but he couldn't bring himself to feel anything more than bone deep exhaustion.

His body felt different.

His palms didn't itch, his hands were lacking a familiar warmth. His hands had never felt cold, not since he was four years old and his quirk appeared. It took a moment for him to feel the air brushing against his hands, he wasn't in the same bindings as before.

The knowledge caused him to snap his eyes open, taking in the dim room around him. Katsuki was for once alone, truly alone. He wasn't tied down at all, his hands were free and he was simply slumped in the chair. He should have reacted, but the sight of his hands froze him to the spot.

His palms were soft and a little pink, he couldn't help but run his fingers gently across his palm, mortified at the delicate, sensitive skin. He shouldn't be able to feel his fingers. His palms were hard and thick, a consequence of his quirk. Not only were they soft, he wasn't sweating. He was always sweating, constantly having to let off small explosions to keep his toxic sweat from getting everywhere.

He tried to use his quirk, tried to sweat, longed for the familiar tingling sensation that came with using Explosion.

There was nothing.

It was gone, it was like he never had a quirk to begin with.

If Deku could gain a quirk, could a quirk be taken away?

Katsuki didn't want to think about it. He wanted to go back to the training camp, before all this happened, and run away before he could be found.

Some distant part of him vaguely remembered the horrifying man in the suit doing something to him before everything became fuzzy. He had been saying something about his quirk, about giving him a new one.

Is that what happened? Did some villain freak take away his quirk and give him something else? Was that even possible? Possible or not. The proof of Explosion being gone at this very moment was staring him in the face.

Maybe it was only temporary, like Aizawa-sensei shutting down quirks with his eyes. But what if it wasn't temporary? What if it was really gone? What would happen to him? Would the school kick him out? Would Deku rub it in his face? He knew his mother would tell him he deserved it, that he let his awesome quirk get to his head.

Could he still be number one? Could he still surpass All Might? Would he be stuck living in a world where Deku got to live out all his dreams while Katsuki became quirkless, like some twisted turn of fate?

Maybe he did deserve such a fate, after all the shit he did to Deku as kids.

A sudden feeling drew him out of his spiraling thoughts, his eyes still on his palm. He wanted something, no, he needed something. It was something similar to craving your favorite food, but he wasn't hungry. He didn't know what he was craving, but he needed it.

It would be wonderful when he got it. He would feel so much better, and the world would be a happy place again.

As the need started shifting into a giddy, fluffy feeling, Katsuki became aware of the other person in the room.

Knife Bitch was sitting at the bar, humming softly.

There was a dreamy smile on her face, her dainty fangs lightly biting her lip. She glanced over as he was staring and her smile became wide. He was suddenly excited, his heart beating and he couldn't help a corresponding smile.

“Blasty! You’re awake! Or well, I don’t think Blasty works anymore, maybe something like Zombie Boy. Oooh or how about Little Brother?”

He didn't understand what she meant, but he was happy about it. It was weird, he wasn't happy, a voice in his head was screaming that he wasn't happy. Somehow the happiness made his mouth taste faintly of blood.

“Oh! Don’t look so confused, this big sister will go tell Shiggy you’re awake!”

As she turned and ran out of the room the strange excitement he had been feeling followed her, eventually fading away.

Katsuki couldn't understand what was happening, her reaction to him being awake made no sense, and his faded happiness made everything worse. He wasn't tied down, the door was right there. All he had to do was get up and run away.

He managed to stand out of the chair when the door Knife Bitch went out opened, admitting Hand Freak, Shadow Fuck, and Scar Face.

The sudden and overwhelming feeling of hatred brought him to his knees.

His heart was racing, his head was pounding, and his body felt too small for all the rage he was feeling.

It wasn't hot like his own anger, it wasn't like anything he had ever felt before.

It was cold, so, so cold, like a frozen lump of ice in his gut. There was ash in his throat, disgust and a low burning amusement. The core of it all, the root, was an all consuming rage.

When he tried to ignore it, to calm himself down, he started feeling something different.

This wasn't rage, it was pride. A smug kind of pride, he felt like he was on top of the world. Everything he worked for was coming together. It wasn't happy nor kind though, there was discontent under the pride, and a manic kind of fear. These feelings were itchy and made him feel confused.

Katsuki tried to push them away just as he did with the rage, and he was left feeling something completely different.

Contentment, a muffled kind of satisfaction, a not quite joy but pleasure nonetheless. It wasn't as loud as the rage or pride, but it was there, simmering under his skin. It made him feel calm, a calm he desperately latched on to, falling deeper into the steady emotions that tasted like fresh rain.

He could feel his body calm down, his heart slowing. Without his permission his eyes went to the man made of shadows and smoke. He could tell that Hand Freak had been talking to him but was falling silent.

It dawned on him then, that what he was feeling wasn't his own emotions. He was never calm, not like this, not this content existence. Part of him wanted to pull away from the artificial calm, but he didn't want to feel the other emotions anymore.

The longer he stared at Shadow Fuck the more he became aware of something just below the surface, something that distantly felt like horror.

He would have dug deeper if Hand Freak hadn't appeared right in front of him, crouching down and taking off the hand that always covered his face. His expression was calm and his red eyes were filled with something like triumph.

“You must be confused. Huh? I know everything must be scary now, but this is the best path to joining my party. I think you figured it out already, but Sensei gave you a new quirk. He told me it is something called Empathy Sense. You can feel the emotions of everyone around you! Isn't that amazing?”

It wasn't. It wasn't amazing. The pride was certainly coming from Hand Freak, while the ice cold rage was from Scar Face. He didn't want this, he didn't want to know what they were feeling. He wanted his palms to tingle, he wanted to burn everything to the ground.

The only issue was he couldn't summon his own rage, not with how hopeful and accomplished the man before him was feeling. Katsuki took a deep breath, opening his mouth for the first time since he woke up. He imagined himself cursing them out, telling Hand Freak where he could shove this new quirk.

“How do I turn it off?”

What came out was a question, soft and raspy. He suddenly hated himself, something that was easy for him to feel. His own self hatred was more real than the emotions around him, more grounded in a way.

Hand Freak suddenly felt uncertain, a small shrug lifting his shoulders.

“I don’t know, but don't worry! We will help you figure it out. Can you tell me what you are feeling right now? Maybe that will help?”

He didn't want to, but the slim chance that it would help was enough to get him talking, slowly.

“You, you feel hopeful and prideful. You are pleased I am talking to you. Shadow Fuck is calm, his emotions haven't changed at all this entire time, he likes being where he is. Scar Face is, is so angry, and amused, but mostly angry. Hateful and cold. Now he is surprised and uncomfortable.”

Katsuki hated that talking out loud was helping him sort what feelings were his and what feelings belonged to them. He was still afraid, and he hated that the door was so close and yet he couldn't stand up and run for it.

His body felt off and different.

“Oh, that is amazing! I’m glad you seem to be adapting well, but I do need to tell you that Sensei gave you a second quirk. Normally people can’t have more than one quirk, but the one he gifted you with is very special. It is a sort of apology for taking away Explosion.”

A second quirk? Katsuki found himself once again latching onto the never changing calm he could feel from Shadow Freak.

“It’s called False Death, it’s one of the quirks Sensei was using to keep his body healthy. I can’t explain it well, but Kurogiri can.”

Katsuki slowly turned and looked at the shadow man, he knew his eyes were wide.

“Normally a person can only handle one quirk factor, while there are a couple exceptions this is one of the laws of our world. Nomu can have multiple quirks because they are nothing more than corpses, while modern science can help mutate a person. False Death allows you to have two quirks because it essentially kills you.

“That is not to say you are a walking corpse, or that your heart does not beat, but your body acts more like a zombie. The quirk erases your mental limits, shutting off your mind's reactions to your body. Your body is currently at the peak of human strength, with only the limit of how much strain you can take, strain you will no longer properly feel. You may not feel it, but you screamed your throat raw, and your body is not healing it because your mind is not aware you have been injured.”

He knew that if it wasn't for the calm he was drowning in that he would be freaking out. A living zombie. He didn't want to be a zombie.

“This lack of connection between the mind and body allows you to hold two quirks, the strain of it simply won’t hinder you the way it would otherwise. Empathy Sense dwells completely on the mental plane while False Death is a physical mutation.”

Both these quirks sounded like absolute shit. Katsuki didn't want them, at this point he would rather be quirkless than feel the emotions of everyone around him like this.

“Maybe, maybe something like a trial by fire would be helpful? If you are around the entire party you will definitely figure out how to use your new empathy!”

Without waiting for Katsuki to express how much he did not like that idea, Hand Freak turned for the door and called out for everyone.

Only four more people walked in, but it was four too many.

Knife Bitch was beyond excited, and craving something. Lizard Boy was bored and extremely nervous, the Magician Reject was almost as calm and quiet as Shadow Fuck, but the worst was without a doubt the lanky man in black and white spandex.

He had two sets of emotions, at the exact same time, completely opposite of each other. One was currently feeling a bubbly kind of joy, while the other was feeling something like loathing. When the man noticed him staring he simply gave a wave.

Katsuki didn't know how much time passed as he sat on that cold floor, sorting through everything he could feel in the room, categorizing by feelings and the weird sensation different people gave him, often a taste in his mouth or a scent he could only smell when paying attention to certain emotions.

Hand Freak was the only one that gave him a physical feeling of itching when he was paying attention to his emotions. He had no idea if the sensations were real, part of the quirk, or just his mind trying to make sense of the new world around him.

No one bothered him or tried to speak to him, they all simply went about their lives, bantering and talking with each other. He hated that Hand Freak had been right, the longer he simply sat around them and their emotions, the easier it became to differentiate them from his own and each other.

Easier didn't mean great though, his head felt like it was filled with cotton and he would find himself staring at the door, unable to bring himself to move an inch. He was so tired and the door was so far away.

Nothing changed until there was a knock at the door. Everyone in the room went tense, feeling various levels of hostility and distrust, while Katsuki became aware of a literal wall of emotions on the other side of the door.

Horror, worry, anger, fear, all these emotions overlapping over and over into a horrible cocktail that completely swallowed his awareness, filling his mouth with warmth like he swallowed hot water.

When the door was punched open and All Might appeared, he couldn't bring himself to rejoice. His world was shattering with the knowledge that his hero, the man he looked up to and wanted to surpass, was filled with nothing but heart wrenching emotions.

He was so absorbed in the mass of emotions that was All Might that he didn't notice the black wispy sludge until it was already in his mouth, the last thing he saw was the horror he felt from All Might reflected in the man’s eyes.

Then he was suddenly somewhere else. It was night and he was outside, the man known as Sensei was standing before him once again, and Katsuki couldn't move, couldn't look away.

He could feel him.

The man was a writhing mass of pride, rage, blood lust, accomplishment and something smug. He could barely comprehend the man before him, physically flinching away from the metallic taste. At least this time the man’s attention was nowhere near Katsuki, he was speaking to Hand Freak, the feeling of anticipation filling the world around them.

Katsuki would have continued spiraling into the feelings around him if he hadn't felt the fear originating from somewhere just a bit farther away. The taste of electricity on his tongue, followed by something like mineral water, then the taste of snow.

He knew this mix of fear and determination, the crackling electricity, the minerals and the snow. He could feel two others, simmering just below. Deku, Deku was here, just beyond his reach, far too close to this monster in human skin.

Deku and his classmates were right there, likely here in some misguided attempt to save him. Katsuki didn't need saving, and now his classmates, Deku, were in danger.

Distantly he was aware of All Might reappearing, that wall of self loathing emotions was hard to ignore, but he could only keep his attention on Deku, and who he definitely knew was Kirishima.

They were right there.

He felt a hand grab his arm and something inside him snapped.

He couldn't go with the League, his classmates were right there. All he had to do was get to them, and he would be safe.

The world around him faded away into shades of gray, he turned and punched the person holding him with all his might. A sudden spike of uncertainty and the taste of paper and ink, Magician Reject.

Once the first punch was thrown Katsuki launched himself back, dodging grabs and hits, punching and kicking when he felt he could. He didn't have time for this, he had to get to Deku and Shitty Hair, Half and Half was over there as well, he just had to get to them.

Some part of him was aware of the sudden shift in the world around him, the anger, rage, and terror that was suddenly everywhere around him. It almost caused him to stop, but he couldn't.

When his eyes caught a bright shade of green in the world of gray he couldn't help but launch himself at it, not stopping even when a hand grabbed his own. He simply kept running, feeling the League members fade away into the background. A flash of red had him grabbing another hand and then suddenly they were moving quickly, so quickly that he could only feel his classmates around him.

The fuzzy, gray world didn't fade back to normal until they were somewhere filled with thousands of emotions, so many that he couldn't do anything but try and keep himself afloat.

----------

If asked, Shouto would tell you that he didn't feel anything in particular towards Bakugou, at least not at first. He rarely interacted with the volatile blond, but he was around him more than enough to have a basic understanding of him as a person.

Bakugou was a quiet and private person, diligent in everything he put his mind to and constantly strived to be the best in all that he did. The blond was also honest, just as honest, if not more so, than Midoriya. His honesty was just blunt and often accompanied by curse words.

Like everyone else, the first thing he ever learned about Bakugou was his loud temper. At first he thought the other boy was always angry and yelling, but that wasn't true. When he was left alone, out of competition, and away from Midoriya he was one of the calmest people in class.

Shouto didn't understand the relationship between Midoriya and Bakugou, but he did know there were a lot of feelings involved. Sometimes he thought that Midoriya should just leave the blond alone, if only for the blond himself. It was obvious that Midoriya cared deeply for Bakugou but it was like he wasn't aware of how much he truly aggravated the other.

While Bakugou was certainly needlessly cruel to Midoriya, Midoriya was equally as dense about the others feelings. It caused a lot of arguments and some very violent spars.

As the year went on he learned more about Bakugou, just like he did everyone else.

The blond was prideful and didn't know when to back down. Shouto still felt guilty about how he treated their fight and how it ended with the other boy muzzled and chained. He should have known better after watching his fight with Uraraka, Bakugou expected the best not only from himself but from those he fought. Despite all the calls of being a villain the blond didn't once treat Uraraka any less than she deserved.

But Shouto couldn't show him the same courtesy, the courtesy he had shown Midoriya, and therefore he felt the other boy was more than fair in his anger. Contrary to what others may have thought though, Bakugou never once brought it up again and he didn't treat Shouto any differently than before.

Shouto rarely interacted with the blond, the two of them having separate groups, but he still learned that Bakugou was kind in his own way. It was no wonder other students were drawn to him, bright and loud around their sun.

There were two more things he learned about the other boy, during the cursed training camp. Bakugou could cook, was very good at it, and took it upon himself to feed everyone like an angry mother hen. He, like many others, had been honestly shocked that Bakugou could cook, he really didn't look the kind. Even Midoriya, the one who had known him the longest, seemed surprised.

The second thing he learned was the sheer angry defiance that Bakugou held for the world.

It was an anger he recognized, saw in the mirror and saw in his siblings. It wasn't something someone magically had, it was something you learned, something you wrapped around yourself to make the hurt go away.

Never before had Shouto wondered what kind of life Bakugou lived, but the glare of defiance the boy had as a burning hand dragged him into the darkness haunted him almost as much as his own inability to save his classmate had.

He had to save him, he had to get him back, and he had to know what the world had done to Bakugou to make him so angry.

He had to make up for not grabbing the marble.

Shouto was going to go with or without his friends, but he was thankful for their presence.

Midoriya was going to go after him no matter what. Bakugou meant something to him and he couldn't help but feel that Midoriya would burn the world down to get him back. Yaoyorozu felt the same kind of guilt that Shouto did, for being so close and still failing. Iida was there to keep them from getting into trouble, and Kirishima was there for his own guilt and because if anyone could claim to be Bakugou’s best friend, it was him.

So they had left, broken the rules, disguised themselves, and had gone to the base of the most violent Villains he had ever seen.

What happened next had changed everything he understood about the world.

A man appeared, the most frightening person he had ever seen in his life, a man who was surely the true leader of the villains. It took everything to hide behind that wall and not make a sound.

As suddenly as they had lost him, Bakugou and the villains had appeared around the man. The blond was still wearing the black shirt and pants he wore three nights ago, he didn't look physically harmed, but something was terribly wrong with him.

The blond had landed on his feet before he promptly fell to his knees, none of the villains around him had reacted at all, not even a glance his way. His skin was pale and even from so far away Shouto could see the absolute terror on his face as he stared at the lead villain. Bakugou looking frightened was not something Shouto ever thought he would see, and he hated it.

Bakugou should be glaring at the man full of defiance and anger, not this dazed, all consuming terror.

What had they done to him in only three days?

Then, in the single most eerie experience of his life, Bakugou’s head slowly turned and stared directly where Midoriya was standing. No one knew they were there, and yet Bakugou was staring at them, staring at Midoriya. Like before none of the villains reacted to Bakugou, but once All Might appeared the one with the marbles had reached down and grabbed Bakugou.

He felt Midoriya try to move but his eyes were glued on the blond whose eyes were no longer red but white, like all the color had been drained from them. The moment the man had grabbed him Bakugou was suddenly a flurry of movement.

He punched the man so hard he was thrown back a few feet with an audible cracking sound. Then it was all the villains trying to grab the blond as he dodged or fought back. He had never seen Bakugou so desperate, so afraid, and it made him uncomfortable.

Then everything went downhill.

The familiar sound of an explosion, a sound he was used to and associated with his classmate, rang out around the battle. The world felt like it went still as the wrongness of the situation sank in.

Bakugou did not create an explosion from his hand, in fact it was obvious he was unaware of anything but his current survival. No, the exploration came from the man fighting All Might. Shouto was in the perfect position to see the absolute horror that filled the number one hero’s face.

Worst of all, any chance they had to keep Midoriya from being involved went up in the smoke of that single explosion.

Everything next was a bit of a blur. In the same way he had never seen Bakugou so filled with terror, he had never seen Midoriya so filled with rage. He was shaking while green lightning coursed over his body. The moment Midoriya jumped over their hiding spot Bakugou had looked over, red just barely flickering in his eyes.

The two had run for each other, grabbing hands like their lives depended on it. Contrary to what he was expecting, Bakugou continued to run, now dragging the angry and shocked Midoriya behind him.

Shouto knew they needed speed to escape, and so without a single word between them they started building. Shouto made a sled of ice, Iida prepared to push it, while Yaoyorozu made straps to tie them down. Kirishima was grabbed just the same as Midoriya and he led them to the sled.

Then they were off, away from the fight, as Mount Lady blocked the villains from following them.

It wasn't until they were in the city proper, outside of the police station, that Shouto noticed the hilt of a knife sticking out of the blond’s shoulder. Bakugou, who was staring at nothing with now red eyes, had a knife in his shoulder, and no one had even noticed.