Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There’s a heaviness in the air that Yoongi can’t quite describe. Seokjin has been frowning ever since they met up with him at the campus cafeteria, clearly troubled by something, and Hoseok— it’s unusual to see Hoseok this quiet, his goofy demeanor replaced by a sour one.

Yoongi can’t stand it. “What the hell is going on with you two?”

“Nothing,” they both say in unison.

He rolls his eyes. “Fine, let’s do this one by one. Hyung, what’s up with that frown? I thought you said you never frown because it gives you wrinkles.”

Seokjin sighs and starts massaging the space between his eyebrows in upwards motions. “It’s just this thing with Jungkook, no big deal.”

Yoongi hates the way his head perks up at the mention of Jungkook’s name. “Why, what did he do?”

“It’s fine, we don’t have to talk about my cousin, I know none of you like him.”

“I actually happen to admire his dedication to his craft,” Hoseok remarks, which makes Yoongi want to roll his eyes.

“Is something the matter? I mean, you look worried, that’s why I’m asking,” he clarifies in a hurry, not wanting to sound too interested.

“It’s just— he’s been really quiet, that’s all,” Seokjin shrugs, fingers playing with his iced americano. A nervous tick. “It’s not like him to disappear on me for days, and he hasn’t replied to any of my texts.”

Yoongi returns the sentiment. Ever since Jungkook left that morning, he hasn’t heard from him or seen him around, and while he was annoyed at first, it concerns him that he’s been doing the same to his cousin. 

“I think you’re overreacting a little, hyung,” Hoseok intervenes with a dismissive tone. “Kids his age, they want their space. Give him some room, he must think you’re suffocating him.”

“I’m not trying to do that, but he had a thing this weekend and he hasn’t resurfaced ever since.”

“What thing?” Yoongi finds himself asking.

Seokjin grimaces. “A family thing, can’t tell you much.”

Relieved that it wasn’t what he thought it would be, Yoongi clears his throat. “I’m sure he’ll reach out soon, just give him some space, like Hobah suggested. Let him figure out his stuff first.”

“Yeah, I'm just worried, you know? He’s complicated and annoying but he’s still my cousin and I care about him.”

“That’s sweet,” Hoseok sighs. “I wish my cousins cared about me the way you care about Jungkook. They’re all scum.”

Yoongi nods in agreement: he’s met Hoseok’s family before and they are not nice. “Well, you’re next, Hobah, tell us why—“

“There’s something else,” Seokjin intervenes.

“Is this still about Jungkook?”

“No, it’s— remember the selca I took last summer and went viral?”

Hoseok’s face brightens up. “The condom incident!”

“Yes, the condom incident,” Seokjin rolls his eyes.

“How could we forget? Extra Large Jin!” Yoongi laughs while patting his back.

“Do people still approach you because of that?” Hoseok asks.

“Someone did, a few weeks ago,” Seokjin grunts, and unlike Hoseok, he’s not amused.

“What’s her name? Or his? Wait, do you still hookup with guys?”

“Not since Bogum.”

“That was like, a year ago.”

“A year and a half.”

“So was it a girl or a boy?”

“It was a guy, actually. I was taken aback.”

“Come on, hyung, you’re telling me no twink came up to you after the condom incident?”

“Yes, but they were people I didn’t know. The guy that hit on me— I know him.”

“Do we know him?”

“You might’ve heard of him, or seen him around, I dunno, he’s not in our circle.”

“Stop teasing us, hyung, who is it?”

Seokjin shakes his head. “Can’t tell you that, I don’t even know why I’m sharing this with you, to be honest. I’m a little desperate.”

“Is he hot?” Hoseok asks, because that's what matters, apparently.

“Not only is he hot, he’s also pretty, a little sassy but kind and sweet—“

“Sounds like a dream. What’s the problem?”

“He’s really close with someone I'm really close with, and I dunno, it feels wrong.”

 “Did he mention the condom thingy?”

Seokjin nods with a grimace. “He did.”

“Why do you sound so upset about it? You never liked it when people brought it up, but you always laughed about it.”

His silence answers the question for him. “You like him,” Yoongi points out.

Seokjin sighs again. “I’ve liked him in secret for a few months now, so it kinda sucks that he’s only interested in me because of, you know—“

“Extra Large Jin,” Hoseok finishes the sentence for him.

“Yeah.”

“What if you tell him? Tell him that you like him for more than just sex.”

“I’d only embarrass myself, he’s not the kind of guy who settles down. And from what I’ve heard, he’s already involved in a situationship with someone else.”

“That’s rough, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too, I’d settle down for you, hyung.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“No, I wouldn’t, but the sentiment is there.”

Seokjin smiles at him before making a dismissive hand gesture. “I’m just gonna take this week away to sort things out and think what I’m gonna do about it.”

“Can’t believe you’re leaving us for a whole week, who’s gonna feed Yoongi hyung?” Hoseok protests with a whiny voice.

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I can cook, you know? I just forget to do it.”

“You guys are coming over this Friday for my farewell dinner, right? I have a menu planned out.”

“A farewell dinner," Yoongi chuckles. "It’s not like you’re not coming back.”

“I have a thing for dramatics, what can I say?”

“Well, I’m definitely gonna be there, I dunno about Namjoon,” Hoseok says with a hint of disdain.

“He already said he’s coming, what are you talking about?”

“He’s been going out a lot, lately. Just last weekend, he spent the night god knows where and wouldn’t say what he did.”

“Well, obviously he got laid.”

“You think?”

“He’s been single for a while, right? He told me he wanted to have more fun so I guess he—“

“He told you that? When?”

“Last week.”

“He… He didn’t say anything to me.”

“Well, he’s a grown man and you’re not his father, so…”

It’s obvious that Hoseok didn’t like what he just heard, but he keeps up with the appearances and for a while before casually remembering he’s got somewhere else to be, and excuses himself from the table, not without assuring Seokjin that he can count on him for dinner on Friday.

“What was that about?” Seokjin asks when Hoseok is gone.

“Roommate stuff, I don’t know.”

Seokjin merely raises his eyebrows before changing the subject. “You haven’t said, are you coming?”

“I’ll probably arrive late, I have plans with Chanyeol.”

“Ohh, another date?”

“Yeah, he made a reservation for dinner, and I’ve already canceled on him twice, I can’t skip this one.”

“It’s okay, Yoongi-ssi, it sucks that you’ll miss the feast, though.”

“Oh, I’m taking a container home, don’t worry about it.”

By the time Friday arrives, Yoongi still hasn’t heard from Jungkook, and though he’s dying to ask Seokjin if he’s made contact, there’s a couple of reasons why he doesn’t do it: one, he can’t just simply ask Seokjin about his cousin when he’s supposed to dislike him; two, Yoongi did nothing wrong so he shouldn’t be the one making the first move— a childish stance, really, but he has pride—, and three, and probably the most important reason: he can’t be thinking about Jungkook when he’s got a date with someone else.

Overall, the date was a fancy night out, in a very exclusive restaurant that made Yoongi feel slightly inadequate. He got to see a new side of Chanyeol, a side he isn’t sure he likes, and by the end of it, Chanyeol did something that Yoongi would much prefer to forget… but the details will be explained later.

While Chanyeol was paying for the bill, Yoongi took the chance to check his phone and saw a couple of messages in the group chat: Seokjin had sent a heads-up: my cousin came over but don’t worry!! he’s locked in the spare room so he won’t disturb us :)

(The message had nothing to do with Yoongi’s lack of reaction to the thing Chanyeol did when they said goodbye.)

Yoongi sees Jungkook’s car parked out front and takes a deep breath. It’s a good thing Chanyeol isn’t there— he offered to give him a ride but Yoongi insisted on taking a cab— as he would’ve asked him if something was wrong, and Yoongi had already spent two long hours listening to him talk and answering his questions, he’s exhausted .

Most of the guests are gone by the time Yoongi steps foot in Seokjin’s apartment, a few of them chatting by the hall and others still sitting at the dining table, visibly inebriated. The host is in the living room, accompanied by Hoseok and Namjoon, and the three of them turn around to greet Yoongi when he catches up with them.

“We were wondering if you were ever gonna grace us with your presence, loverboy,” Seokjin is the first one to tease him.

“I said I was gonna be late, don’t give me that crap,” Yoongi slumps on the couch next to Namjoon. 

“So what happened? He didn’t want to let you go, is that it?” Namjoon elbows him amicably.

He just wouldn’t shut up, that’s what happened. “Something like that,” Yoongi finds himself saying with a strained smile, not wanting to ruin his friend’s excitement. He reaches out for one of the beers on the table. “Is this taken?” he asks before taking a long gulp.

“It was mine, but go ahead,” Hoseok says. “I’ve already reached my limit.”

Namjoon snorts. “What, two beers?”

Yoongi doesn’t miss the glare Hoseok throws at him; is he still annoyed by Namjoon’s late escapades and spending the night somewhere else? Swamped with work and college, Yoongi hasn’t had the time to sit down and catch up with the drama between those two. He’s about to ask Seokjin about the leftovers when his hyung groans out of the blue. “Would it kill you to put a shirt on? We have guests!”

“I’m just gonna grab a snack.”

Yoongi looks over his shoulder and almost chokes on his drink; he knew Jungkook was here, he was warned , but Yoongi didn’t expect him to make an appearance— Seokjin said he wouldn’t—, much less naked from the waist up. 

With his sweatpants hanging dangerously low, the waistband of his Calvin Klein underwear peeking out, Jungkook leaves nothing to the imagination. The barking sounds from that Sunday night are louder now, more feral. There’s howling and heaving, too. It’s a mess. And even though Jungkook smirks when Hoseok wolf whistles at him, Yoongi notices that he looks tired, like he hasn’t slept in days. His eyes, normally wide and bright, are puffy now, squinting at the lights of the living room.

“It’s not polite to walk in here with no shirt on,” Seokjin counters. “You don’t know these people. I’m so sorry for this, I don’t know who raised him—”

“You raised me, and I’ve seen them around,” Jungkook says, his back turned to them. “I don’t think they mind.”

Was that a jab directed at Yoongi? It felt like one. How dare he call him out after days of pretending he didn’t exist? After walking out on him and not even bothering to leave a note? Yoongi should be angrier, but the sight of his naked back, muscles clenching as he prepares a snack— it’s a little distracting.

“He’s just proud of his body, hyung,” Hoseok giggles. “Let us enjoy the view.”

Jungkook acknowledges the remark by squaring up his back and flexing his arms, which gets another wave of wolf whistling from Hoseok, some clapping from Namjoon and a groan from Seokjin. Yoongi can’t bring himself to act on his instincts, so he remains quiet.

It’s hard to focus with Jungkook a few feet apart, working hard on his late night snack, and it gets even worse when Namjoon has the bright idea to interrogate him about his date. “So how was it? Tell us more! It’s like, what, the sixth time you go out with him?”

After glancing at Jungkook’s direction, Yoongi clears his throat. “Yeah, it was alright.”

Namjoon snorts. “Alright? Come on, look at you, you’re dressed to the nines, he must’ve taken you somewhere fancy.”

“We had dinner, it was a fancy restaurant,” Yoongi keeps the other details to himself. It’s awkward enough to discuss his date with Jungkook there as it is. “It was nice.”

Hoseok narrows his eyes. “You’re not telling us everything.”

“I already know what happened, I just want hyung yo tell us.” Namjoon has a cheeky smile on his lips. “Chanyeol texted me.”

Yoongi groans into his hands. “Of course he did.”

“What? What happened?” Seokjin asks. “Did you get handsy in the bathroom?”

There’s a loud, metallic bang coming from the kitchen. “Dropped a bowl,” Jungkook says without looking at them. “Sorry to interrupt,” and with that, he walks away from the kitchen and heads back to the guest room.

Yoongi’s eyes might’ve lingered for a bit on the spot Jungkook just disappeared from.

Hoseok’s voice startles him. “Hyung, tell us everything!”

“I hate you so much right now,” Yoongi grits out while glaring at Namjoon. He sighs. “We kissed.” The truth is, Chanyeol kissed him, and Yoongi let him, not exactly reciprocating, and it was actually more of a peck than a proper kiss.

“That’s a huge step, congratulations.” Yoongi can’t tell if Seokjin’s being sarcastic or not.

“Chanyeol texted me right away, he was so excited,” Namjoon says.

“He shouldn’t have shared that with you, it’s private!”

“Poor guy worked hard for it, let him brag,” Hoseok counters, amused. “So, how was it?”

Yoongi tries to come up with an answer that doesn’t make him sound like a jerk. “I dunno what to tell you, it was fine, I guess.”

Hoseok grimaces. “Sheesh, it was fine ?”

“Well, I’m definitely not telling Chanyeol you said that,” Namjoon mutters before taking a drink from his beer.

“Fine is a perfectly adequate adjective, put it in front of wine or dining and you've really got something.”

“I’d agree on that but I don’t think it applies when it comes to kissing,” Seokjin retorts.

“Yeah, what are you gonna say when you have sex?” Hoseok asks. “That it was okay?”

Namjoon clears his throat. “Hyung, do you even like him? I know you had your doubts at first but you’ve been going out with him for over a month now. I’ve seen you act more excitedly to get a phone number…”

You’re dating someone you don’t even like.

Can Jungkook just get out of his head? “I like him, I do. He’s very handsome, attentive, and I can tell that he’s into me.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “But…?”

But he’s so boring. He spends hours talking about art and museums. He’s a little suffocating. He’s too intense with personal questions. He doesn’t know when to shut up. He snaps his fingers at the waiters. He orders for him. 

And kissing him— Yoongi didn’t feel a single thing while kissing him.

“He could tone it down with the museum chatter,” Yoongi says after a moment of silence.

“He just loves what he does for a living and wants to share it with you,” Namjoon defends his colleague.

“No, I get what he means,” Hoseok points out. “Sometimes it can get boring.”

“Oh, so you think museums are boring?” Namjoon asks.

“I’m not saying that, they’re cool, yeah, but no one wants to hear a lecture about buildings with objects that were stolen from other cultures.”

 “It’s called preservation, Hoseok—“

“It’s sacking, they sack countries, steal their stuff and go, hey guys, look what we found!”

“I think we’re getting off track here,” Seokjin raises his voice to interrupt the argument, promptly silencing them. “We were discussing Yoongi-chi’s kiss that didn’t hit.”

“I like him, he’s nice,” Yoongi says with a shrug. “I just think I need a little more time, that’s all.”

“Understandable,” Hoseok nods. “But don’t lift his hopes up, it’s not fair.”

“Right,” Namjoon chuckles. “Cause you’re such an expert in feelings, aren’t you?”

Silence settles in the living room; it’s so thick that a knife could slice it in half. “I feel like I’m missing something,” Seokjin says.

“You don’t wanna know, believe me,” Yoongi suggests.

Hoseok turns to Namjoon. “You told hyung?”

In an attempt to fix things, Yoongi groans. “I don’t know anything, please, let’s just drop it—“

But Namjoon interrupts him. “Well, forgive me for confiding in him that the guy I thought loved me—“

“I do love you, you stupid son of a bitch,” Hoseok gets on his feet abruptly, hands curled up in fists. “You can’t see it, do you?”

“See what?” Namjoon stands up as well, and in the process, he spills the beer he’s holding, knocks over a few empty bottles on the table, and steps on Yoongi’s foot. “Come on, enlighten me, Jung Hoseok, what am I not seeing?”

“What’s going on?” Seokjin asks.

But Hoseok shakes his head and starts grabbing his stuff. “I can’t do this, I— I have to go.”

“You just can’t walk away like that, we are roommates!”

“Then I’m spending the night somewhere else,” Hoseok yells back.

“Yeah, that’s something you excel at!”

Hoseok glares at him. Yoongi’s never seen him so upset. “You’re a fucking jerk,” and with that, he turns around and leaves, not without warning Namjoon: “Don’t follow me!” He slams the door on his way out. 

Namjoon is still on his feet, eyes glued to the door, his chest heaving.

Seokjin claps his hands. “Okay, I don’t normally pull the hyung card when it comes to your business but I demand an explanation.”

Namjoon sighs. “It’s a long story.”

“It’s not, actually,” Yoongi retorts.

“Whether it’s a long story or not, we have time, booze and snacks,” Seokjin says, leaning back on the couch. “And I’m not going to fucking Busan for a week without knowing what the hell just happened.”

Yoongi just can’t be bothered to go through that again, so he stands up. “While you two catch up, I’m gonna try to get this stain off my shirt. Thanks for that, by the way,” he grunts at Namjoon.

“Sorry.”

“You can grab one of my shirts, Yoongi-chi,” Seokjin offers. “Look into my closet and take your pick.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, and if you run into Jungkook in the hall, just keep your head down and don’t make eye contact, though I suppose that won’t be hard for you.”

Seokjin really shouldn’t have mentioned Jungkook. “Yeah, I- I’ll give you guys some space, I need to make a call anyways and- it might be a long one.”

“Ohh, are you gonna call Chanyeol?”

Yoongi smiles. “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

In his defense, Yoongi does go to the bathroom and gets cleaned up, but instead of going to Seokjin’s bedroom for the shirt, he heads a little farther back, where the spare room is located. There’s only one of those in Seokjin’s apartment, which means—

Yoongi stands in front of the door, fist up, wondering if he should knock. For starters, he doesn’t know why he came here, or what he's gonna say to him after a week of absolute silence. Why is he the one going after him when it was Jungkook who walked out on him without leaving a damn note, when it was Jungkook the one who messed up that Sunday night by being an absolute jerk. And why is he here, when his date with Chanyeol— in which he was kissed and hugged— ended not even half an hour ago? He still feels his lips on him.

Yoongi looks at his fist in the air. “What the hell am I doing?” But just as he’s about to turn around and leave, the door opens.

Jungkook is still shirtless, hair messier than it was before, and he doesn’t seem surprised to find Yoongi there. “Thought it was you. I saw a pair of feet, Seokjin would’ve just barged in without knocking.”

Yoongi’s been here before, but now the room is completely dark, only the tv screen casting a neon blue light over the bed and furniture. “Did I interrupt something?”

“Nah, I was just playing with a friend, I paused the game,” Jungkook points at the headset on the bed. “What’s up?”

What’s up? Is he seriously asking that? “Well, I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

There’s that dismissive attitude again. Yoongi shouldn’t have come here at all. “Really? Cause last time we talked—“

“No need for you to tell me, I know what happened,” Jungkook says over him. “And that was days ago, why are you bringing it up?”

“Why am I bringing it up? Jungkook,” Yoongi takes a deep breath to calm down. “You were an asshole the other night, then you showed up at my place completely drunk and—“

“I said you don’t have to tell me,” Jungkook raises his voice just a nudge, silencing Yoongi. “I was cursed with the ability of remembering everything I did while drunk, I don’t need a refresher.”

“Then how can you tell me everything’s fine?”

“Because it is,” Jungkook shrugs. He hasn’t looked at Yoongi ever since he stepped foot in the room. “Why do you care, anyway? Shouldn’t you be out there, giggling to your friends about your date with the most boring man on earth? I can’t believe you’re still with him, by the way, are you really that desperate to be with someone? That’s sad.”

Yoongi can’t tell what pisses him off the most: the flat, almost metallic tone in his voice, the arrogance in which he addresses him, his reluctance to open up to him, or the fact that he called him sad and desperate without taking a breath. What’s worse is that the last part poked a nerve, because in a way, Jungkook was right.

But he’s not gonna give him that. He’s not gonna give him anything. He turns around, ready to leave. “Coming here was a mistake, I don’t even know why I bothered—“

He’s almost at the door when a hand wraps around his wrist. “Wait.”

Yoongi glances down, then up again. He finds those eyes staring back, wide open, hesitant. Fuck, even with no light on, Yoongi can see entire galaxies in them. “What?” he grunts.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook mutters.

“You’re sorry? You insulted me in every possible way in the span of five seconds and you’re sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Is this how it’s gonna be? You act like an asshole and expect me to look past it with just an apology? It’s the third time you do this.”

“I just dunno how to—“ Jungkook lets out a shuddering breath. “I swear I didn't mean to. I’m sorry.”

And the thing is, Yoongi knows he didn’t. He knows Jungkook isn’t normally like this; from what he’s gathered, he only acts up when he’s going through something. It’s not an excuse, though. There are ways to deal with personal crap, and being an asshole to others isn’t one of them. With that in mind, Yoongi tries to pull his hand away, but Jungkook’s fingers won’t let him go as they cling to his own. 

“That night… I should’ve told you I wasn’t doing well,” Jungkook tells him. “You asked and I lied.”

“You lied tonight, as well.”

“I know, I- I have a hard time- admitting that I'm not okay.” Jungkook’s fingers are still wrapped around Yoongi’s. Yoongi doesn’t move to change that. “I never have to tell hyung how I’m doing, he just knows and lets me lash out at him if I need to.”

What was that thing Seokjin said back then? I'm the only one he’s got. “He doesn't deserve to be your punching bag, though. No one does.”

“I know that, too. I guess he’s used to it. It’s been a recurring thing ever since I was an angry teenager.”

Yoongi wonders if that’s true. Seokjin is very kind and understanding, but even the nicest person can break. “Okay, let’s do this again. How are you feeling tonight? Truly?”

Jungkook chuckles. “Better.”

“Did you talk to Seokjin?”

“I did.”

Yoongi hesitates before asking, “Is there anything I can do?”

Jungkook looks at where his fingers are clinging to Yoongi’s, then glances back up. “No.”

It’s not like Yoongi was expecting him to ask for help, to be honest. They’ve stopped arguing, Jungkook admitted his wrongdoings and apologized— Yoongi calls that progress. Still, he makes a mental note: do not let this become a habit. It’s only then that Yoongi pulls his hand away, this time with more determination, which makes Jungkook snap out of it and realize the condition he’s in. “Sorry, I’m just— lemme put a shirt on.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Yoongi blurts out, getting a puzzled-yet-amused look from Jungkook. “What I meant was— I should get going anyways, they must be wondering what’s taking me so long.”

“Oh, right.” Jungkook then points at his chest. “That’s a big stain you’ve got there, it’s gonna be a pain to remove.”

Yoongi sighs. “Namjoon spilled his beer on me, hyung said I could grab one of his shirts—“

“Here, take this one,” Jungkook retrieves a plain black shirt out of a drawer, not giving Yoongi any time to protest. “It might be a little big on you, but I think it’ll work. I’ll turn around, I won’t look,” Jungkook adds.

That doesn’t help at all, because Jungkook’s naked back is kinda sorta distracting and Yoongi can almost hear the barking sounds in his head again. After telling himself to stop ogling, Yoongi changes his shirt and immediately regrets it: Jungkook’s scent is everywhere. “I’m swimming in this thing,” he grunts.

“Can I look now?”

He asked . Okay, that was cute. “Yeah.”

“It fits you,” Jungkook remarks after giving him a once over.

“I think we have very different concepts of what fitting means.”

Jungkook smiles. It’s an honest one. “Well, I think you look really good.”

Yoongi thinks so, too. He feels good. “I should— head back.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook mutters. “I’ll see you around, I guess?”

Yoongi nods before turning around and successfully leaving without looking over his shoulder.

Once the door is closed behind him, he takes a quick sniff at the collar of the shirt.

And on his way back to the living room, his hand flexes, the ghost of Jungkook’s fingers still around it.

“That was a long call, what were you lovebirds talking about?”

It takes Yoongi a few seconds to realize Seokjin’s talking about Chanyeol, not his cousin. “Oh, nothing special, just plans for our next date.”

Seokjin smirks before frowning. He tilts his head. “Is that one of my tshirts? I don’t recognize it.”

“Oh.” Yoongi looks down, plays with the hem of the shirt for a second. “Yeah, I took it from— I just grabbed one from the last drawer.” It’s not a hard lie to craft: making shit up on the spot is one of his specialties, and fortunately he’s familiar with Seokjin’s closet.

“Makes sense.” Seokjin gets on his feet. “Take a seat, I’ll get you another beer.”

Yoongi sits on his previous spot, next to Namjoon. “So, did you tell him everything?”

Namjoon merely nods. “I did.”

“I am not sorry I miss that. What?” Yoongi asks, because his friend is looking at him funny.

Namjoon sighs before retrieving something from under his leg. “You forgot this.” 

It’s Yoongi’s phone. It must’ve slipped out of his trousers pocket when he stood up.

An awkward silence stretches out, Yoongi unable to look up, Namjoon waiting for him to say something. All that can be heard is the ruckus in the kitchen as Seokjin uncaps the beers and opens a bag of chips. Yoongi can also hear his own heartbeat, loud in his ears.

When Namjoon realizes he’s not getting an answer, he adds: “That’s not one of hyung’s shirts, is it?”

Yoongi can’t bring himself to look up. That specialty that was mentioned earlier doesn’t seem to be working right now, either. “It’s not what you think, Joon, I didn’t—“

“I brought snacks!” Seokjin announces, placing beers and plates on the coffee table. “Who’s ready for round two?”

“I think I’m just gonna head back home, sorry, hyung. I gotta figure out what to do with Hoseok,” Namjoon says after a sigh.

Seokjin grimaces but doesn’t insist. “Yoongi-chi?”

“I’m fried, it was a long night.”

Namjoon snorts. “I bet it was.”

“You’re more than welcome to crash on the couch, getting a cab at this hour could be dangerous.”

“How come I don’t get an invitation to spend the night?” Namjoon protests.

“You have to deal with your unreciprocated feelings, at least if you get mobbed it would be in the name of tragic love.” Seokjin then turns to Yoongi. “So, what do you say? If I get drunk enough I’ll tell you his name.” 

Yoongi merely shrugs. “Hyung, all you had to mention was the couch.”

“I’d offer the spare room but it’s currently occupied.”

Ah, fuck. Jungkook is there. Is he spending the night as well? “It’s fine, the couch is better than my own bed, anyways.”

“It’s settled, then. Do you want a pair of sweatpants? Those trousers look uncomfortable to sleep in.”

The moment Seokjin rushes to his bedroom, Namjoon glares at Yoongi. “You’re spending the night, too? Why, so you can hang out with him again? Seriously, hyung…”

“Come on, I’m not gonna do that, he was getting ready for bed, he must be asleep by now.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to Chanyeol.”

“I’m not doing anything!”

“You’re seeing someone behind his back!”

“That’s not true—“

Seokjin walks back into the living room, empty handed. “I left the sweatpants and a fresh towel in the bathroom in case you want to take a shower.”

Yoongi forces a smile. “Thank you, hyung.”

“Is everything okay? I feel like I missed something,” Seokjin points out, glancing at the two of them. 

Yoongi grabs Namjoon’s arm. “No need to worry, I’m just gonna walk him downstairs, he’s kinda tipsy and you know how clumsy he gets.”

“I’m not tipsy—“

“I’ll be right back, hyung, don’t start without me, yeah? I wanna hear all about that guy.”

Without waiting for an answer, Yoongi drags Namjoon out of the apartment and straight to the elevator. The ride is silent and awkward, none of them wanting to talk first. Namjoon was already in a bad mood due to the incident with Hoseok, and what happened back there only further upset him, so this is not going to be a pleasant talk.

To his surprise, it’s Namjoon who breaks the silence, using an accusatory tone. “When I noticed you forgot your phone, I thought you were gonna come back for it once you’ve realized that— but you didn’t.”

Yoongi sighs. “It’s not what you think.”

“It’s not? You were with him.”

“I ran into him in the hallway.”

“Stop lying, hyung. What’s going on? What the hell are you doing with that guy?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath. “Last time we talked, we kinda— we had an argument, and I just wanted to check on him, that’s all.” 

“You wanted to check on him,” Namjoon repeats.

“Yeah.”

Namjoon nods. “That argument you had— was it because of something you said?”

“No."

“Then why the hell did you—“ His friend sighs while shaking his head. “Hyung, I have so many questions.”

“You can ask but I don’t think I have the answers to all of them, to be honest.”

Namjoon nods, understanding, even if he does not in fact understand it. “You should end it.”

“I just told you it’s not what you think—“

“No, I mean, end things with Chanyeol, hyung. Before it gets more serious. He’s an adult, he’ll live, it’s just not fair that you’re stringing him along when you’re obviously emotionally compromised with someone else.”

“I’m not emotionally—“

“Please, you’re seeing hyung’s cousin in secret, sneaking around when no one’s looking just to talk to him, having these dinner dates—“

“They’re not dinner dates, he doesn’t date.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows reach his hairline. “Wow.”

“What?”

“You said he doesn’t date instead of I’d never date someone like him.”

“Well, that too, obviously, the point is—“

Namjoon raises a hand to stop him. “Let me ask you this, do you like him?”

“What?”

“Do you like hyung’s cousin?”

“I mean, he’s not that bad, he’s fun and nicer than you’d think—“

“That’s not what I asked. Do you like him?”

Yoongi tilts his chin up. “I do like him. Just not like that.” A half truth, because even if Jungkook walked up to him and asked him out, Yoongi has a thing called common sense. He doesn’t think he’d date him. He’d like to do unspeakable things to him, yeah, but dating? Trying a long term relationship with him? It wouldn’t work, not with a guy like Jungkook.

Namjoon doesn’t seem convinced, but he doesn’t push it, jumping on the first cab that pulls over and bids Yoongi farewell with an advice: “Just put him out of his misery, yeah?”

Back in the apartment, Yoongi realizes that he’s not gonna find out the guy’s name tonight, as Seokjin is soundly asleep on the couch. Very gently, Yoongi urges him to move to his bedroom, and once his hyung is settled, he takes a quick shower, changes into the borrowed clothes and returns to the living room.

Someone’s already there. Jungkook is in the kitchen, thankfully with a shirt on, and he’s rummaging around the fridge. Can’t sleep?”

Jungkook jumps, startled, before turning his way. “What are you still doing here?”

“Excuse me, I was invited to spend the night,” Yoongi leans against the kitchen counter. “What are you doing up, sacking hyung’s fridge at two in the morning?”

“I felt like having a beer and a smoke. Wanna join me?”

Yoongi should say no, especially after his conversation with Namjoon, but he nods and grabs the beer Jungkook offers him. “Your cousin is gonna kill us if he smells the cigarettes, though,” he notes.

“The spare bedroom has a balcony.”

“Right.”

“I’m just gonna grab three for each,” Jungkook says, pulling out more beers and nesting them in his arms. “Hyung’s asleep, right?”

“He was drooling when I found him on the couch, we should be fine.”

And once again, Yoongi finds himself sneaking around in the middle of the night, following Jungkook to the spare bedroom, just to spend time with him. He’s out of his damn mind.

The night is chilly but the cigarettes keep them warm, puffs of dark smoke hovering over them as they enjoy the view of the city going to sleep. Well, Seoul never really sleeps, but it's much quieter for sure, unlike Yoongi’s inner turmoil— they haven’t said a word to each other ever since they left the kitchen, and it’s a little unnerving.

Jungkook lights up another cigarette, exhales a cloud of smoke, takes a gulp of his beer and clears his throat. “Is it just me or is this kinda sorta awkward?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, I mean, sorry for— you know, everything.”

Yoongi sighs. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, I said horrible shit to you—“

“You did, yeah.

“And now you’re here having a drink and a smoke with me in silence instead of cussing me out. Why?”

Because I’m afraid I can’t say no to you. “Well, you had a bad day, and you apologized.” Yoongi shrugs. “I accepted your apology and we moved forward. Is it hard to understand?”

“Others would’ve cussed me out. Punched me in the face or something.”

“What can I say, I’m an angel.”

Jungkook smiles at him. “You kinda are.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m gonna put up with it all the time.” Yoongi drops his burnt out cigarette on an empty bottle. “It can’t become a habit, I hope you know that. I am no one’s punching bag.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

“I have a bone to pick with you, though.”

Jungkook lets out a dramatic sigh. “Why, what did I do?”

“That night when you stayed at my place, I woke up the next day and you were gone and you- you didn’t leave a note.”

“Ah.”

“I mean, a thank you would’ve been nice.”

Jungkook hums as he lets out a puff of smoke. “I did consider messaging you but I thought— I just assumed you didn’t want to hear from me.”

“Why’s that?”

“I was a pain in the ass that night.”

“You were, yeah,” Yoongi nods.

“See? I didn’t want to bother you anymore, you said you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t mean like, forever.”

“I didn’t know that.” Jungkook uncaps another bottle of beer and takes a swing from it before adding: “It’s probably too late now, but thank you for not kicking me out and letting me crash at your place.”

“You’re welcome.”

“It really is a tiny apartment. Doesn’t it drive you insane?”

“I don’t spend a lot of time there, it serves its purpose.”

“Have you ever considered moving to a bigger place?”

“Sometimes, but I’m trying to save money to build a studio. The equipment is expensive.”

Jungkook lights up a cigarette; he seems deep in thought, eyes lost in the view in front of them. His next question takes Yoongi a little aback: “What did your parents say when you told them you wanted to study music?”

This is getting kinda personal. Yoongi wonders if Jungkook is gonna reciprocate, though his experience tells him he won’t. “They weren’t particularly thrilled, they wanted me to be a doctor or a judge, you know— careers that make money. I don’t think any parent wants their children to become a musician.”

“Did they try to talk you out of it?”

“At first, yeah. My mom, she- she blamed herself, in a way, she used to put headphones over her belly when she was pregnant with me and played classical music. And my first toy was a piano, so my dad thought it was his fault.”

“They were disappointed in you.” It’s a statement more than a question.

“I wouldn’t put it that way, no. I guess they were just worried that I was gonna struggle. Hell, even I knew I was gonna struggle. I still am, juggling with school, the jazz band and the orchestra. It’s a lot.”

“Why did you? I mean, you knew you were gonna have a hard time, why did you choose music?”

It’s a heavy question. Yoongi’s been asked the same thing ever since he made his choice back in high school, and the answer hasn’t changed: “It’s my passion, my safe place. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else. Why are you looking at me like that?” he inquires when he finds Jungkook staring at him, a small smile on his lips.

“Nothing, I just think it’s cute.”

“Cute?”

“You’re following your dream against all odds, it’s cute. And your parents support you, that’s cute, too.”

Yoongi scratches the back of his head, uncomfortable. “I guess.”

“What do you think they’ll tell you if they ever find out about the rap battles?”

“They’d probably regret that Eminem album they got me for my fifteenth birthday.”

“But do you think they’d change their minds? Like, would they be annoyed?”

“I suppose my mom would be annoyed at first but I’m sure she’d demand free tickets once she’d made peace with it.”

“And your dad?”

“I think he’d be more interested in how much money I make.” Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “What’s up with all the questions about my parents, huh?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I was just trying to fill the silence.” When Yoongi gives him a pointed look, he sighs. “My parents and I— we don’t exactly get along.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“You don’t talk to them?”

“They’re paying for my degree and my apartment, I have to talk to them every once in a while.”

“Wait, I’m just realizing I don’t know what your major is.”

“We’ve been talking for like, two months, how can you not know?”

“All you did in the first month was stalking me and trying to hit on me, I was sick of you.”

Smirking, Jungkook takes a long drag from the cigarette. “And now?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don’t change the subject, I asked you a question.”

Smoke comes out from Jungkook’s nostrils as he exhales. “Corporate finances. What?” he asks when Yoongi tilts his head.

“Nothing, I just wasn’t expecting that answer.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I dunno, something more hip.”

Jungkook snorts. “ Hip . Jesus, the age gap is real.”

“What’s wrong with hip? It’s a normal word.”

“To someone old, yes, it is.”

Yoongi glares at gim in a playful manner before asking, “So, is it true? Do you remember everything you do and say when you’re drunk?”

Jungkook grimaces. “I need like a day or two to recover from the hangover, but once I cross that bridge, yeah, it all comes down on me. It’s a fucking nightmare.”

He must be a little tipsy from all the beers he’s had, it’s the only explanation as to why he asks the next question: “So do you remember the conversation we had that night?”

“I said a lot of things that night,” Jungkook sighs. “I remember apologizing for the shit I told you, I remember that I was concerned about my snoring and you had to wear earplugs. Sorry about that,” he adds.

“It’s okay, I didn’t notice it.”

“You offered me food you didn’t have,” Jungkook continues, avoiding eye contact. “You gave me clothes that were too big on you but they fit me just fine. And I… I also remember telling you I wouldn’t mind being on your beck and call.”

Yoongi clears his throat, looks down. “You said that, yeah.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees Jungkook turning to face him. “I thought you didn’t hear me. You had your earplugs on.”

“I did hear you, I just ignored you,” he shrugs.

“I don’t blame you, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, you were drunk, it’s not like you were being serious.”

Jungkook, however, remains quiet.

At his silence, Yoongi has the urge to ask: “You… weren’t being serious, right?”

Before answering, Jungkook takes a long drag from his cigarette. “Let’s just say, if you called, I’d show up.”

Yoongi stills, the booze in his system stopping him from thinking straight. “Really, Jungkook, you can’t say that shit to me.”

“It slipped out, I’m sorry.” He puts out the cigarette they are sharing on the ashtray, even though it’s not even half done. “The sun is coming out, I think I’m ready to crash.”

“Oh, okay. I should… go and try to get some sleep, too.”

“Probably.”

Jungkook is not looking at him.

“This was nice,” Yoongi offers, 

“Yeah. You haven’t told me your conclusion, by the way.”

He frowns. “Conclusion?”

“Am I an asshole or not?”

And though the question is a little sudden and out of pocket, Yoongi has an answer ready: “I think you can be one, but for the most part, I really enjoy spending time with you. What?” he asks when he finds Jungkook staring at him again. “Not what you were expecting to hear?”

Instead of acknowledging the question, Jungkook shortens the distance between them and wraps his arms around him. It’s a shy hug, similar to the one they shared the other night, and just like that night, Yoongi doesn’t move, unsure of whether he should reciprocate it or push him away, which would be the most sensible thing to do, given that Yoongi is currently going out with someone, someone who kissed him goodbye just hours ago and was excited to see him again.

And even though doesn’t do anything to escape the embrace, Jungkook notices his unresponsiveness and takes a step back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—“

There are many factors that could’ve had influenced Yoongi’s next move: the sunrise unfolding in the background, the heavy weight on his bones due to exhaustion, the few beers he had that night, the fact that he got to witness Jungkook allowing himself to be open and vulnerable in front of him— It could’ve been any of those factors, or none of them at all, but Yoongi reels him back for another hug, and this time he stands on his tippy toes and throws his arms over Jungkook’s shoulders. 

It’s Jungkook’s turn to remain completely still. “What— What’s this?”

“Don’t overthink it,” Yoongi mutters, fighting back the urge to close his eyes. “Just go with the flow.”

“Don’t tell me to do that or I’m gonna—“

Yoongi pulls his hair playfully. A hug is all you’re getting from me.”

Jungkook lets out a breathy chuckle before wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s waist and, after a moment of hesitation, he presses his body against him and settles his face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck.

It’s a little embarrassing, actually, his reaction to a simple hug: he gasps, like the air has been punched out from his lungs, and his eyes close instantly. Jungkook is all hard muscles and sharp lines— he’s seen him shirtless a couple of times, it’s ridiculous— but right now, like this, in his arms, he feels soft, almost fragile, making himself small to fit in the embrace.

And Yoongi shouldn’t be thinking about Chanyeol when he's cradling another man’s hair, but he can’t help it— Chanyeol kissed him and he felt nothing; he held his hand and felt nothing, yet there he is, eyes closed and out of breath just because of a hug. What does that say about him? What does that say about his relationship with Jungkook? What happens now that he knows for sure that he’s not as immune to Jungkook as he thought he was?

His turmoil gets interrupted when Yoongi feels a pair of lips grazing the skin of his neck, an intake of air. He breaks the embrace, gently, not wanting to startle the other and erase the progress they managed to achieve that night. It shouldn’t matter, but it does. It matters a lot.

“I should get going, I feel like I’m about to pass out,” he says, aware of the double meaning in his words but not wanting to acknowledge it right on this instant.

Jungkook blinks. His eyes are a bit hooded. Oh god, are those his bedroom eyes? “Yeah, me too. Are you crashing on the couch?”

“It’s a pretty damn good couch, actually.”

“It is, unlike yours.”

Yoongi laughs. “Yeah, it’s not meant for napping.”

“Learn that the bad way.” Jungkook shoves his hands under his armpits and clears his throat. “So, I’ll see you around?”

“You better,” he takes a step back, bumping against the sliding door. “Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”

Jungkook nods but doesn’t move from his spot, merely waving at him and saying: “Get some rest, Yoongi-ssi.”

The formality in which he says his name sits wrong with him.

There aren’t many things in the world capable of waking Yoongi up, but the smell of freshly brewed coffee is definitely one of them. It’s a perfect way to start a new day, one of the few things he (occasionally) misses from his relationship with Minhyuk— his ex wasn’t a coffee drinker but he used to get out of bed before Yoongi and always had a cup ready for him. And before him, Seojoon would cook his favorite comfort food when he was feeling down.

Man, being single sucks.

“Like clockwork,” Seokjin smiles when Yoongi drags his feet to the kitchen. “I knew this would get you out of that couch.”

“I love you so much, do you wanna date me?”

Ears bright red, Seokjin chuckles. “I get an I love you and I get asked out by Min Yoongi? Can’t wait to rub it on Namjoon’s face.”

The mention of Namjoon’s name sort of ruins his good mood. “I’m serious, let’s go out on a date before you leave.”

“You flatter me, Yoongi-chi, but I know it’s just the coffee talking.” Seokjin pours a cup for him and slides it across the counter. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Why, what did you make?”

“Good ol’ fashioned scrambled eggs and bacon,” Seokjin places the plate in front of him. “I have kimchi somewhere, do you want some?”

Yoongi has never been more grateful for anyone in his entire life. “You know what? Forget dating, let’s just have sex instead.”

“You keep talking to me like that and I’m gonna have to put you over my knee,” Seokjin retorts with a cheeky smile.

Yoongi groans. “It’s way too early for horny talk, hyung.”

“It’s past noon, not to mention you don’t date or fuck friends.”

“That, too.”

The sight of two cups and two plates on the counter reminds Yoongi that he wasn’t the only guest who spent the night in Seokjin’s ridiculous apartment. Nervously, he glances at the hall, but his attempts to be inconspicuous don’t work on the host. “He’s not joining us,” Seokjin says.

Busted. “Oh, I wasn’t—“

“He left a couple of hours ago, didn’t stay for breakfast.” Seokjin shakes his head. “That kid, he can never catch a break.”

“Why, what happened?”

“Dunno, he wouldn’t tell me. Personal stuff, I imagine.”

Yoongi hides his worry behind the cup of coffee. “Did he seem upset?”

“It’s hard to tell with him. He says he’s fine when he’s not and—“ Seokjin shakes his head again. “We don’t have to talk about him, I know you don’t like him.”

Yoongi isn’t so sure anymore. “Well, he’s your cousin, and I care about you.”

Seokjin offers him a smile. “Thank you, Yoongi-chi, I appreciate it. But Jungkook’s very private when it comes to his stuff, he’d kill me if he knew we were talking about him.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t like that either.” Yoongi makes a mental note to message Jungkook later and ask him if he’s okay.

“So, tell me,” Seokjin starts, “did you give it some thought?”

“Hm?”

“What are you gonna do about Chanyeol?”

“Oh, I— I dunno yet.”

“You said you guys set up another date on the phone.”

They didn’t, because Yoongi never called him. “Yeah.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

Anxious. After what happened last night with Jungkook, Yoongi can’t imagine facing Chanyeol again. “I honestly don’t know.”

“You still don’t feel it, do you? The click you always talk about.”

Yoongi shrugs. “I guess not.”

“And why do you think that is?”

“I dunno that either.”

“Are you interested in someone else? Or this might be a long shot but… do you still have feelings for Minhyuk?”

He is interested in someone else, someone he’d never go out with in his right mind, but that’s something he’s not gonna tell Seokjin, no matter how many cups of freshly brewed coffee he makes for him. “I don’t have feelings for Minhyuk anymore, and Chanyeol is the only guy I’m seeing, and he’s nice, he really is, it’s just—“

Seokjin is quick to put two and two together. “You’re bored, aren’t you?”

“I’m so bored, he’s so boring , hyung,” Yoongi whines. “What am I gonna do when he suggests a museum date?”

“If that’s how you feel then why are you still going out with him again?”

Yoongi’s silence and reluctance to make eye contact are more than enough for Seokjin to understand. “Yoongi-chi,” he says after a sigh. “You can’t just date people because you feel lonely.”

“That’s what dates are for, right?”

“In a way, yes, but you can’t settle down with the first guy that shows interest in you. If there’s no spark, if you simply don’t click, then move on.”

Yoongi takes a sip of his coffee to calm down. “At first… at first I went out with him because he’s Namjoon’s colleague and I didn’t want to let him down? I know, it’s stupid. But then… I don’t know, it felt good to be wanted, I guess.”

“Many people want you, Yoongles, you just— you have a lot of rules.”

“I do, don’t I?”

“Have you ever considered the possibility of writing a few of them off?”

“Like what? I don’t wanna go out with undergrads, they just wanna get laid,” Yoongi protests. “And I don’t wanna sleep around either, I miss sex but I’m almost thirty, I want something long term.”

“What about people you know?”

“What, like friends?”

“Yeah.”

“Why, are you offering?”

“I’m being serious, come on. What about that friend of yours from the jazz band? The one with the curly hair?”

Yoongi almost chokes on his coffee. “Jiyeong? I thought you were being serious, hyung.”

“I am being serious, I think he’s into you.”

“He doesn’t like me like that.”

Seokjin shakes his head. “Sometimes you can be so naive, kiddo. I’m just saying, you could broaden your horizons, look out of the box. If not a friend, then someone you meet by chance.”

Yoongi scrunches his nose. “Like in a club?”

“What, what’s with that face?”

“People who go to clubs are just looking for some fun and to get their dicks sucked in the bathroom, I’m not sure it’s the best place for me to find a boyfriend.”

Seokjin looks like he measures his words when he asks: “Why are you so desperate to find a significant other, Yoongi-chi? Did your parents—?”

“It’s got nothing to do with them,” Yoongi says firmly. “I want something serious, financial stability, a family. I’m almost thirty, I’m too old to be jumping around from bed to bed.”

“Yah! If you’re too old at almost thirty, what does that make me?”

“A relic. You belong in a museum, hyung.”

“You’re not getting any leftovers from last night’s dinner.” Seokjin grabs the empty plates and tosses them into the dishwasher. “Do you want a ride home? I need to buy shoes for the conference.”

It’s only when Yoongi’s back at his own place that he realizes he’s still wearing Jungkook’s shirt.

First a bucket hat, now a shirt. What is he doing, collecting Jungkook’s clothes or something? He’s definitely out of his mind.

Namjoon is nose deep in a thick book and hasn’t said a word ever since Yoongi sat down in front of him at the library. The frown between his eyebrows are either from concentration or annoyance, Yoongi can’t tell, and he has no idea of his friend’s current situation with Hoseok, since the last time they talked was at Seokjin’s apartment. Yoongi could ask him, as they’re technically alone in the lounge area, but the moment just doesn’t feel right, and he’s got other things in mind.

Yoongi clears his throat. “I’m gonna do it.”

Namjoon merely raises an eyebrow.

“I’m gonna break up with Chanyeol,” Yoongi elaborates.

Namjoon nods. “Okay.”

“Okay? Is that all you’re gonna say?”

“What were you expecting?”

“I dunno, a gasp? A lecture. Definitely a lecture. You gave me one the other night.”

Namjoon sighs while flipping the page. “It’s your relationship, hyung, you must have your reasons. You do what you think it’s best.”

Well, he’s clearly in a mood, that’s for sure. Yoongi should just take the hint and change the subject, or take out his laptop and work on his own assignments, but given the heated conversation they had that night and the radio silence that followed, he feels it necessary to explain: “It’s not because of him. Jungkook,” he adds when Namjoon remains quiet. “I’m not doing this for him, or for any other guy.”

Namjoon nods again. “Okay.”

“I just don’t see myself with Chanyeol. I didn’t want to tell you this but— he bores me.”

“Like I said,” Namjoon says. “You have your reasons. It’s fine, I don’t wanna hear them.”

The tone in his voice is a clear indicator that he’s not interested in the conversation and he’d very much rather keep reading his book in peace; having understood that, Yoongi stands up. “Well, I just wanted you to know, sorry for bothering you. I’ll leave you alone.”

Namjoon doesn’t look at him when he says: “Let him down easy, yeah? He likes you a lot.”

And so Yoongi does just that, as gently as possible, validating his feelings in the process, answering almost every question Chanyeol throws at him— it’s the least he can do after telling him they should stop seeing each other. Chanyeol doesn’t make a scene, thankfully, but he gets very disheartened about his decision and requests to know why.

“I just don’t think we match,” Yoongi says.

“We went out for over a month and you’re just realizing that?” 

It’s a valid question, but Yoongi’s not gonna tell him that the only reason he put up with him and his incessant talking about museums is because he was tired of being lonely. “I really wanted it to work but… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to string you along.”

“I just wished you’d told me sooner.”

Yoongi wished that, too.

“May I ask… is there—?”

“No, there’s no one else.” A half truth, to spare Chanyeol’s feelings and convince himself that he’s not doing this because of a fuckboy with thunder thighs and galaxy eyes. 

When they part ways, instead of going home, Yoongi takes a cab and heads for the university. As heartless as it might sound, he has things to do and, to be honest, he’s not that affected by the breakup. He rarely is, which is a fucking contradiction, since he hates being lonely— ending things with Minhyuk did a number on him, that’s true, and it took him a while to recover, but most of his breakups have been amicable (Seojoon, Eunkwang, Hyunsik) and he’s been able to walk them off just fine. And now, with Chanyeol, they just went out a couple of times, shared a few cups of coffee, had a fancy dinner— there was a kiss in the mix, too, but Yoongi barely reciprocated it and he didn’t feel a thing, so it doesn’t count.

Yoongi had arranged to help Woosung with his EP at the campus studio after setting up the meeting with Chanyeol— it is kinda heartless of him, cruel, even. That’s probably why he’s still single— and he actually makes it to the appointment with some time to spare. The studio he normally books for his sessions with Woosung is all the way back in the building, one having to walk through music rooms, classrooms and the occasional dance studio in order to get there. It’s a fucking pain in the ass, Yoongi can’t wait to build his own.

He’s about to round one of the corners when he hears a familiar voice— it’s the last voice he wants to hear after ending things with Chanyeol. 

“—thought you’d be more supportive!”

“Of course I support you but you have to admit it’s insane!”

Yoongi doesn’t entirely recognize the other voice, but it’s obvious that Jungkook is arguing with someone. Eavesdropping isn’t nice, but curiosity gets the best of him.

“You don’t think I can do it,” Jungkook retorts.

“It’s not that, it’s just— The guy hates your guts, doesn’t he?”

“That was a while ago.”

“It’s only been a few months, Kook, and from what you’ve told me, I don’t think he’s gonna want to deal with you again.”

Yoongi freezes: is this about him? Is Jungkook talking to his friend about him, when he specifically told him not to mention to anyone that they’re hanging out?

“It’s gonna be tricky, sure, but I really think I can do it,” Jungkook counters, sounding way too sure of himself. It pisses Yoongi off even more. “I need your help, Mimi, you’re the only person who knows.”

Mimi? Yoongi has never heard that name before, though it sounds more like a nickname. And also, what role would he play in this, exactly? The fact that Jungkook is getting someone else involved in his quest to take Yoongi to bed is humiliating enough.

“Not even your– um, cousin?”

“I don’t think hyung would approve, I mean, he knows part of it but if he finds out I’m gonna give it another shot—“ Jungkook lets out an audible. “He can’t know.”

Well, that’s something they can both agree on. 

“So will you help me?” Jungkook asks. “What if we make it a bet? Do you wanna make it a bet?”

A bet? Is he fucking serious?

This Mimi guy giggles. “There’s no need for that, I know you can do it, sweetie, I’m just worried you’ll embarrass yourself.”

Sweetie ? What the hell is going on? And why did the nickname anger him so much?

“I’m not gonna embarrass myself,” Jungkook retorts. He sounds like he’s got that cocky smile on his lips. Fucking asshole. “I have a little bit of experience.”

Going through almost the entire campus population is having ‘a little bit of experience’? Jungkook has no shame.

“Okay, then,” Mimi sighs, exasperated. “What’s your big plan, then? Let’s hear it.”

“Check this out, I was thinking—“

But Yoongi’s had enough. He doesn’t want to hear any of it, and he should just go back the way he came from, but he’s angry and he wants to give Jungkook a piece of his mind— and also, he kinda needs to round that specific corner to get to the studio, so Yoongi takes a deep breath and does just that, eyes landing on Jungkook almost immediately. He doesn’t even bother to glance at the other person, Mimi, though he hears him gasp and say “I know you!”. He doesn’t care. Chanyeol didn’t make a scene but Yoongi’s about to, because how dare Jungkook pull this crap on him after the rather eventful night they shared at Seokjin’s apartment.  

“Let me stop you right there,” he grits out, relishing in Jungkook’s panicked face. “I am not sleeping with you, ever, and there’s literally nothing you can do to make me change my mind, you hear?”

Okay, so it wasn’t a scene, but he still storms off, not bothering to look back. He knows from experience that he can’t outrun Jungkook, he will eventually catch up with him— he always does, it’s a nightmare—, so he’s not surprised to hear footsteps approaching. Yoongi walks faster, but so does Jungkook. 

“Yoongi-ssi!”

Yoongi ignores him.

“Yoongi-ssi, hold on, let me explain!”

He ignores him again, which prompts Jungkook to quicken up the pace and stand in front of him, blocking his way. “Look, I dunno what you heard—”

“Don’t even, I know what I heard,” Yoongi grits out. He does not, in fact, know what he heard, but he wants to make a point. “You were telling your friend about your plans to have sex with me.”

Jungkook frowns in confusion. “What? No! I swear, that’s not—“

“Do you really think that just because we hugged and I wore your clothes the other night, I’m gonna let you fuck me? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No! No, it wasn’t about you, I wasn’t telling him— Could you stop for a second and hear me out? Please?”

Even though Jungkook sounds really good when he says please, Yoongi keeps on walking. “I have places to be, I’m in a hurry.”

“Then I’ll go with you, I just— I want to explain myself, yeah? I swear it’s not what you think.”

It’s only then that Yoongi stops on his tracks and realizes the studio is just a few doors down the hall. “We’re here, actually,” he grunts, annoyed that he didn’t get the chance to run away from him.

Jungkook looks around and realizes where they’re at. “The studio? Oh, are you still working on your friend’s EP?”

How dare he remember that. Asshole. It’s so annoying. “Don’t try to distract me, I’m pissed at you,” and to be more dramatic— because Yoongi said he’d make a scene— he points a threatening finger at him.

Jungkook looks like he’s about to throw a tantrum. So childish. Yoongi’s mad at him, feels betrayed by him, but he won’t deny that he can be so fucking cute sometimes. Most of the time. “But I… I don’t want you to be pissed at me.”

“Well, are you gonna tell me the truth?” Yoongi crosses his arms, an eyebrow raised.

Jungkook glances away, lets out a sigh. He sounds resigned. “Yeah, yeah. What choice do I have?”

It’s obvious that Jungkook is nervous; sitting on the couch, he has all the ticks— stiff posture, wandering eyes, fingers fidgeting on his lap, teeth worrying his lips, and a serious case of jittery legs. Yoongi feels anxious just by seeing him, and though it’s such a worrying picture to look at, he cannot be distracted. “I’m waiting,” he grunts. 

“Give me a second, okay? I’m… getting ready.”

“Ready for what? What are you talking about?”

“You want full transparency, right?” Jungkook isn’t looking at him, hands clasped over his lap. His knuckles are almost white. “You want the truth so I need to— open up a little. That’s hard for me.”

Yoongi will give him that, and as annoyed as he feels, he’s grateful that Jungkook is willing to do so, that’s why he doesn’t push and lets him take his time.

After a few minutes, Jungkook takes a deep breath and starts: “Okay, first of all, it wasn’t you I was telling Jimin about. I call him Mimi , he’s one of my best friends. He knows about you but it’s pretty much the same thing hyung knows— he was there when I first saw you, and he is aware that I wanted to, um— have sex with you, but I didn’t tell him about our talks or anything.”

Yoongi hums, arms crossed over his chest. “So what was it about, then?”

Jungkook glances at him before returning his eyes to his lap. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

“I’m not gonna do that.”

“That’s what Jimin said, and he laughed.” A man pouting shouldn’t be so damn endearing.

“I’m not gonna laugh, I promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “We’re not teenagers, Jungkook, just say it.” Jungkook then mutters something under his breath. Yoongi frowns. “Could you speak up a little? I didn’t catch that.”

“An audition, ” Jungkook enunciates the syllables as if they were physically painful to say them. “I want to apply for an audition.”

“What’s the audition about? Do you wanna join another sports team, like the rugby?”

“I fucking wish,” Jungkook mutters with a snort. “No, it’s, um— a play.” 

“A what?” 

“A play. A theatre play.”

Yoongi blinks a couple of times. “Sorry, I thought you said a theatre play”.

“That’s what I said, okay?” Jungkook groans, covering his face with his tattooed hands. “I want to audition for a role in a theatre play. God, I’m such a fucking loser.”

While Jungkook goes on mumbling things under his breath, Yoongi takes some time to process the information. It’s definitely not what he expected to hear, coming from a guy like him, but then again, Yoongi doesn’t know him that well— in fact, all he knows about him is that he likes to fuck around, he has a friend named Jimin and he doesn’t get along with his parents.

Having seemingly misinterpreted his silence, Jungkook huffs. “Go on, make fun of me, knock yourself out.”

“Why would I laugh? You haven’t say anything funny.”

“Jimin thought it was hilarious,” Jungkook mumbles.

“Then you need a new best friend. So, what’s it about? The play?”

Jungkook scrunches his face, like he’s hurting. Opening up is hard for him, Yoongi is aware of that, but this specific topic seems to be particularly difficult. “A musical.”

“A musical?”

“Yes,” Jungkook grits through his teeth. “Why are you repeating everything I say?”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to tease you, it’s just— I never pegged you for a musical enthusiast, that’s all.”

“Thanks, it took me years to master it.”

“Why, though?”

Jungkook shoots him a quick glance before shaking his head. “Sorry, I don’t think I’m ready to reveal that just yet.”

Yet . He said yet. There’s hope. “Okay, well, can you at least tell me what’s the musical you wanna audition for?”

Jungkook scrunches his face again. “ Grease .”

“A classic,” Yoongi nods. “What role?”

“Danny Zuko.”

Yoongi’s brain sort of short circuits at the image of Jungkook with that infamous hairstyle and wearing tight, black leather from head to toe. “Oh, that— that makes sense.”

“So you don’t think it’s pathetic? Me, liking theatre and musicals and stuff?”

Yoongi hums. “Musicals are underappreciated, in my opinion. When I was in high school I experienced it first hand, actually.”

“You acted?”

“Of course not, I was behind the scenes, sound assistant. Well, that was the title, but all I did was get coffee for the staff. They let me play around with the equipment, though. That was fun.”

“That makes more sense.”

Yoongi takes some deep breaths before allowing himself to relax his posture. “I understand this was difficult for you and I want you to know that I’m l thankful you trusted me with it.”

Jungkook shrugs. “I just didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

He really has no right being this cute, not when he already has those galaxy eyes. It’s so unfair. “You said you weren’t talking about me, but you mentioned someone. A guy. You haven’t explained that part yet.”

“Oh, that,” Jungkook scratches the back of his head. “The director of the play doesn’t like me.”

“Why’s that?”

Jungkook makes a face. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated? What did you do? Fucked him and dumped him?”

Jungkook remains quiet.

“Oh, my god, Jungkook, did you fuck him and dumped him?”

“No! No, he’s like fifty.” Jungkook sighs. “I sort of— fucked his son?”

“Oh, no.”

“And he walked in on us.”

Yoongi sits next to Jungkook and takes a moment to digest the revelation. “That complicates things.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Do you think he’ll be able to recognize you?”

“Let me put it this way, I once saw him at the grocery store and he glared at me and told me I was going to hell.”

“Oh, he’s gonna recognize you alright.”

“You think?” Jungkook chuckles humorlessly. “Jimin is right, I can’t do it, I’m just gonna embarrass myself.”

“Hey, don’t say that. I’m sure you can do it. All you gotta do is to impress him, sing so well that he forgets the fact that you defiled his son.”

“He wasn’t that good, to be honest.”

Yoongi groans. “Never mind that, come on, let’s stay on track here. Can you even sing?”

“I… I think so.”

“You think so? You have to be really good to make him forget what he saw.”

“Yeah, make me more nervous, why don’t you?” Jungkook leans against the back of the couch and sighs. “I told Jimin because he’s a dancer and I want him to help me with the choreo and stuff, I can only dance TikTok challenges, and they’re like, twenty seconds long. That’s not gonna cut it.”

“Is your friend gonna help?”

“He said he would, so that’s nice, the tricky part is gonna be the singing.”

Yoongi shrugs. “All you need is practice.”

“Yeah, but I can’t do it on my own,” Jungkook retorts with a whiny voice that shouldn’t be so fucking adorable. “I need someone to help me with my vocals, someone who knows their way around music and can guide me and tell me if I’m doing something wrong, someone—“

At Jungkook’s sudden silence, Yoongi turns to glance at him, and he knows he’s in real trouble when he comes face to face with those damn eyes, wide, starry, pleading . He doesn’t need to rack his brain too hard to understand what Jungkook is thinking. “Oh, no . No, no, absolutely not.”

Jungkook has the nerve to pout. Honestly, who is this guy? “Why not?”

“I’m not a vocal coach nor a singer, how the hell am I gonna help you?”

“You’re a musician, you study… whatever it is that you’re studying. And! You’re helping Woosung with his EP, right? You could do the same with me. You could do me as well.”

Though he tries, Yoongi finds himself unable to answer.

“What, you like him better or something? Is that it?” Jungkook frowns at his silence, looking offended.

“No, it’s just— What I’m doing with Woosung is different, he’s a singer, I merely mix and arrange, it’s not like I tell him how to sing.” Which is a half truth, to be honest; he does give him some pointers here and there, but it’s minimal work.

“Yoongi-ssi,” Jungkook says with a whiny voice that drives him a little bit insane. “Please, please , help me. Getting a vocal coach would mean telling someone else about— what I just told you. And I don’t think I can do that.”

Yoongi hesitates, because even though he understands Jungkook’s trepidation, he’s not sure he can add another thing to his already packed agenda. He’s too busy as it is, with school, the orchestra, the jazz band, the rap battles— he’d have to give something up.

At his silence, Jungkook does something only desperate people would do, and that is dropping to his knees, right in front of Yoongi.

Yoongi sees his whole life flash across his eyes.

“ Please , please, I’ll do anything, anything you want,” Jungkook says, looking up at him. “I mean it, anything.”

And Yoongi— Yoongi broke up with Chanyeol like an hour ago, he hasn’t had proper sex in months, has had two sexy dreams about the man who’s currently knelt between his legs. What’s he supposed to do? What does one do in a situation like this?

“Yoongi-ssi,” Jungkook mutters, hands coming up to rest on his knees. “Yoongi, please .”

Oh, he didn’t need to hear that . Yoongi didn’t need to hear that at all. “Just— stand up, Jesus, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to convince you—“

“I’ll do it, okay? Just get on your feet, for fucks sake, what if someone walks in and sees us?”

Jungkook goes back to his previous position on the couch, next to him, body twisted in his direction. “You’ll help me? Really?”

God, could he stop using that voice and looking at him with those eyes? “Yes, really. I’m not a vocal coach, though, I don't know what you expect me to do.”

“I just need someone to guide me, you know, make observations, tell me if I suck”.

“Do you?” Yoongi asks.

“Do I what?”

“Do you suck?”

Jungkook presses his lips together. “Only if you ask nicely. Sorry,” he adds when Yoongi gives him a pointed look.

“You said you’d do anything, right?” Jungkook nods at the question. “ That , you gotta stop doing that. Stop hitting on me.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I was just messing around, I know you’re off limits.”

Right, Yoongi hasn’t told him that he broke up with Chanyeol, and a small part of him wants to, he wants him to know, but Yoongi no longer trusts himself around Jungkook, and if he takes the cat out of the bag, then he’d be doomed. He’d stand no chance against him.

So he keeps the news to himself. “Well, at least you’ve made peace with it.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Sure. You two still dating, then?”

“Questions about my dating life are also off the table,” Yoongi says. He doesn’t know for how long he’s gonna be able to keep up with this lie. As long as Jungkook doesn’t ask Seokjin, he’s good. “I’m gonna need more details regarding the audition.”

“Fire away.”

Yoongi checks his phone. Woosung should be here any minute. “I’m kinda in a hurry right now, but I’ll message you later, does that sound okay to you?”

“More than okay.” Jungkook stands up and hesitates before asking: “I’m being kicked out, aren’t I?”

“Oh, so you can take a hint,” Yoongi chuckles.

“What can I say? I’m learning.” Jungkook is almost at the door when he turns around. “Just one more question concerning the most boring man on earth.”

Yoongi sighs. “What is it?”

“Are you gonna tell him? That you’re helping me?”

No, because as of today, he will no longer talk to him. “He doesn’t know about my extracurricular activities, and he doesn’t know you, so why would I?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows. “And what if he finds out? Don’t look at me like that, I’m not gonna slide in his DMs to tell him.”

“If he finds out, then he finds out.”

“That’s ballsy. Anyways, I have to— do stuff.”

Yoongi can only imagine what kind of stuff he has to do. “Okay.”

“Thanks again, I promise I’ll be in my best behavior.”

Yoongi watches as Jungkook opens the door to leave, and to his misfortune, Woosung is standing right outside. There’s an awkward moment in which they just stare at each other and then Woosung nods, acknowledging him, and steps aside to let Jungkook walk out.

Once he’s gone, Woosung glances at Yoongi with an eyebrow raised. “Should I ask?”

“No.”

“I’m gonna ask anyway. What was Jeon Jungkook doing here?”

“Can’t I hang out with my hyung’s cousin?”

“Yeah, but last time we talked you said some pretty interesting stuff about him. That's the word you used to describe him, actually. Interesting.”

“I said he was tempting. What’s your point?”

Woosung approaches him carefully. “Have you finally… hit that?”

Yoongi pretends to be disgusted at the insinuation. “No, come on, who do you think I am? Just because I find him visually appealing doesn’t mean I’m gonna become another name on his list.”

“Okay, okay, I was just curious. So is that a thing you guys are doing now? Hanging out?”

“I told you, we talk occasionally,” Yoongi says with a shrug. “I ran into him on my way here, he was curious about the studio, so I gave him a little tour. That’s all.”

“Sounds like a big pile of bullshit, but okay,” Woosung chuckles. “I just hope your boyfriend doesn’t find out that you’re hanging out with the campus fuckboy—“

“Chanyeol wasn’t my boyfriend. We were just dating.”

Woosung tilts his head. “Why are you talking about him in past tense?”

“I ended things with him. Today, actually.”

“Sorry to hear that, man.”

“It’s okay, it wasn’t working out.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, I think. We only went out a couple of times, it’s not like I was too involved.”

“Did the person who just walked out of the room had anything to do with it?”

Woosung already knows too much, Yoongi has to be more careful around him, and measure his words not to give him the wrong impression. “No, I did it because he bored me to death and kissing him was very underwhelming.”

“Harsh, but understandable. Does that mean you’re back in the market?”

“Why? Are you planning on hooking me up with someone?”

Woosung wiggles his eyebrows. “I know a few guys that would love to take you out.”

“Any of those guys are actually out of the closet?”

“Okay, that was unnecessarily mean,” Woosung pouts at him, and unlike Jungkook, he looks ridiculous doing so.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m just a bit on the edge right now. Not because of Jungkook,” he adds when his friend opens his mouth. “There’s this new project that fell on my lap— I dunno if taking it was the right decision.”

“Yeah? What is it about?”

“It’s kind of a secret project, though. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, we all have our stuff.”

“Speaking of that, did you make up with Minho? You never said.”

“It’s complicated. You wanna stick around after this and hear me complain about heteronormativity and conservative families?”

“You know I’m always in the mood for that.”

After a long session of music and vulnerability— Woosung had a lot to say and Yoongi was too kind to interrupt him— they parted ways, his friend offering to give him a ride home. Yoongi booked the studio for the whole evening so it’s late when he finally arrives at his apartment.

One of the perks of living in a small space is that the process of cleaning up is rather quick, so after taking care of his mess, he jumps into the shower and has a small bite while watching a documentary on interior design and light fixtures— he likes to do that sometimes, fantasize about his dream studio and home, imagining how would it be, the things he’d set up.

Before going to bed, he spends some time on his phone, scrolling through the accounts he follows on Instagram. He remembers to unfollow Chanyeol and does so without clicking on the multicolored circle around his profile picture, as he’s pretty sure he uploaded something regarding their breakup. 

He does check, however, Jungkook’s stories. 

There’s only one, uploaded very recently.

A black background, the caption “thank you” in the center of it.