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It has been a long day. Bad call after bad call. All Buck wants to do is sleep. Well, sleep and see Tommy.
Buck stumbles along his buildings hallway. Basically having to drag his feet, barely having the motivation to move.
Buck slides his shiny silver key into his chipped blue front door and begins to twist, only to realise, the key won't turn.
The door is already unlocked.
Buck is sure he locked the door before his shift. He is certain. Absolutely certain.
Buck slowly creaks the door open, peaking inside, worried someone has broken in. Not in the mood to deal with it, if so, but better safe than sorry. Right?
To Buck's surprise though, his apartment was spotless. The countertype were cleaned, all the dishes he left in the sink from before his shift were gone and the carpet he had by the entryway was hoovered.
Buck's eyes light up. A smile is brought along Buck's face. A good start to his days off after a shitty day. A clean house and considering the doors unlocked. It means his boyfriend Tommy is here waiting. Life could not get any better.
Until he hears it. Buck's head snaps to his stairs. His face dropping instantly. Squeaking, Rustling, Moaning.
For a slight second all Buck could thing of is Tommy.
It is just Tommy. Tommy is here to surprise him, to make him feel better. Make his weekend just that bit easier. Start it off positive. Until he hears another moan.
One that isn't Tommy's. One he doesn't recognise.
Buck's heart drops. He feels it shatter into a million pieces within seconds. Buck drops his work bag at his feet, leaving the door swung wide open, and storms up the stairs, just to see a smaller brunette in bed with his boyfriend. HIS bed with HIS boyfriend.
"Tommy."
The Squeaking stops, The moaning stops, and both of the men's heads hurry to look in the direction of buck. Tommy quickly pulling out of his side piece and begging Buck for forgiveness, to explain, that it isn't what it looks like, and that he loves Buck and Buck only.
But it wasn't enough. Buck could feel the anger building up inside him, at a pace like no other. It was eating him alive. Starting at the highest part of him, his head started to feel tight, like someone had a peice of rope and was tying it around his forehead, and pulling it tight. Then it started to work its way down, it flushed across bucks cheeks, making him feel hot red, going pink and his eyes darkening.
His chest begins to feel tight and he could feel his heart rate go faster and faster and faster and so fast it wouldn't ever stop and all the thoughts go through his head at once and he couldn't breath until
"Buck, baby, I am so sorry you have got to believe me!"
The fast pace thinking stopped. It all stopped. There was one thought and one thought only in Buck's head.
"What the fuck, Tommy."
Buck's breathing labour's, stumbling backwards eventually falling back into his cupboard, catching him before he trips.
"I don't understand. Tommy what? I, I don't understand? why would you do this?"
Buck whimpers out his words, close to crying, but not daring to let a drop fall out, his lower lip trembling and his eyelashes going a pretty dark brown colour due to the newfound darkness that appears when they get wet.
Tommy takes a few steps forward, making his way towards Buck, reaching his hand out.
"Come here Buck, its okay baby, your okay. I love you. You know that right?"
Buck stares into Tommy, wanting to break, give into his sweet words, fall into his boyfriends arms and just be held close, but moments before he does, he sees the man he was hooking up with sneaking down the stairs. Snapping Buck back to reality.
"No. No Tommy, get away from me!"
"Buck, it's okay come here, I've got you."
"No Tommy! What the fuck! Who was that?"
Buck's voice breaking threating with tears. Buck's cheeks bright red and clamy. All his senses overwhelming him. Coming to eat him. Creeping out from under the bed and inside the closet to sneak up and eat him whole like the monsters maddie warned him of as a kid.
"Buck. Do not be ridiculous! How could this be my fault? If you were home this would never of happened!"
"I was on shift Tommy! I'm not your baby sitter, I do not have to sit around and watch you all day, making sure you don't screw up or misbehave."
"Well its not my fault Buck! I have needs! A man like me has needs and you just can't give them too me! Your never home! it's lonely, I'm just so lonely Buck. And he is nothing like you! so I don't even know what your so worried about, he is small and can actually do what I need him too!"
Buck is staring Tommy down, watching him pace whilst he flails his arms about, his hair messy and stuttering over his words, trying to make an excuse for himself.
"Needs, huh? You have needs? If he's the one you need, then go get him Tommy...
...Get the fuck out of my apartment."
It had been two days since Buck had walked in on it.
Buck felt numb. He bad barely ate. Barely slept. He had dark panda rings circulating his eyes, scaring little children he walked past on the side walk. He couldn't be bothered to do his hair so his little curls had made an appearance for the first time in years and Buck had not shaved. Buck looked a wreck.
As Buck walked through the doors to the fire house, some heads turned. It was new. Different. Buck was always egger and excited. Buck loved his job and God knows he fought tooth and nail to have it. But today. It looked like he walked in with a gun to his head and a knife to his heart.
Buck hadn't spoke to anyone from the 118 since he caught his boyfriend. No. Ex Boyfriend having sex with someone he could never compare too.
And people had noticed. Buck was always blowing up the group chat with every discovery he had made during the day, whether it be that he saw a new dog or the beer he likes changed the font in its logo. He would text Bobby every morning. Ensuring that Bobby was okay. Asking if he needed anything from Buck that day. What he could do to help. Eddie didn't get a single response from Buck all weekend. Eddie had texted him a few times. Well. More like one hundred times, asking him to come over and play some mortal kombat. And that Chris missed him. And Chimney and Maddie had been blowing up the family group chat asking when he would be free next for a family dinner. But nothing. Nothing but radio silence from Buck. And no one knew why.
It wasn't long until the bell went off for their first call. Everyone jumped into action, and for a second, maybe just a second, buck looked happy, excited almost.
Buck steered clear of everyone in the truck, sitting in the single seat and looking out the window. Only listening when Bobby started to give commands when they got closer to the scene.
It was a crash. Two cars. One car was perched up on the ledge of a bridge, looking down at its impending doom of falling into the lake, and the other was smashed, nearly cut in half, just like a cake but with a lamppost instead of a knife.
Buck kicked into action, running over to the car dangling over the edge. There were two people in the car. Male, late 30s, BPM fine but was complaining of, well more rather screaming about pain at the back of his neck. There was a slight twist in the shape of the spine and he had a loss of movement around in his legs and neck, he was also complaining of a weird sensation at the back of his neck, running right down his spine. Due to the trauma of the crash Buck instantly rulled that this was a spinal injury and this was due to the casualty receiving a pretty nasty blow to the neck during the crash.
"Hey man, it's okay, I've got you. My names Buck. Can you not move for me please? That's great, your doing so well."
Buck dips his hands into the car and uses them to bring support to his neck and to keep the casualty steady."
Buck pulls his head back out of the car and scream for Hen to bring a neck brace and a back board.
"He fucking cheated on me. Then nearly got me KILLED."
The young women in the passenger seat speaks for the first time since Buck arrived on scene. She turns to face the man in the drivers seat and grabs his shoulders, crying, balling, begging him to tell her why. To make her understand. Why would he do this to her. Disregarding the fact that there was a large peice of glass stabbing into her eye. blood dripping down her face as her skin was all cut up from the impact.
This hit Buck directly in the chest, he left it stabbing him in the chest. Like someone reached into him and went though his brain and ripped his heart out his chest.
The second the male casualty was removed from the car, Buck climbed into the drivers seat and started to talk to the young women.
"Hey, I'm Buck, what's your name?"
"Er, its uh Kirsty."
"Okay Kirsty, Your doing so well, your going to be okay. I need you to do some things for me. Okay?"
"Er yeah okay, I um sure can do that."
"Okay, I need you to NOT rub your eye for me okay. You have some glass and shrapnel stuck in and around it and it could be made worse if it moves. Does that make sense?"
Just as Buck finishes that sentence, the car begins to creak, starts to pull forward. To rock closer over the edge. One wrong gust of wind and it will blow over. And for a second, just for a little while, Buck considers staying in the car as it falls. Not to get out, to stay in the metal coffin as it slips into the watery pit below, to sink to the bottom and to just stay there, like an anchor, forever. Just for his arm to be yanked and for him to be pulled out the car, as Chim and Eddie pull Kirsty out the other side.
Buck looks up to see, none other, but Bobby. Looking at him like he has seen a ghost. Bobby grabs Buck by the back of the neck as the rest of the squad begins clean up. Dragging him to the firetruck.
"What we're you thinking Buck? You enjoy falling to your death? Huh? Do you? because that is what was about to happen! You switched your brain off and you nearly got yourself and the casualty killed."
Buck looks down to his polished boots, ready to take the punishment, ready to be called stupid, reckless and irresponsible. Ready to be called an idiot and that he's untrust worthy.
"What's going on kid?."
Buck's head snaps up to look at Bobby, who's looking at him like he's the most delicate thing in the world, like he could do no wrong and that he's just a little boy again, sitting on the stairs as his big sister gently holds him as she cleans out and patches up his knee and tells him to be more careful.
And all Buck can do is cry. It comes out. For the first time since its happened. Buck starts crying. He's is balling and there's nothing but sad sobs coming out of him and rambling, explaining what happened as he's pulled into Bobby's warm imbrace.
"Hey. Hey. Hey. I've got you son. Your okay. I've got you. Dad's got you."