Work Text:
Ena erases the last bits of her art, completely discarding the work she just pushed almost two hours of her work into. She clutches her pen in her hand.
She looks up at the clock. It’s 24:32 AM. Almost time for Niigo’s meeting.
She’s been kind of off today. Unable to get her artwork the way she wants it to look, she can’t help but feel frustrated with herself.
Maybe if she drew it like this it would work better…? Geez… no. That doesn’t work at all. It looks awful. What is she even doing?
You’re not good enough.
Ena drops the pen onto her desk, and leans back into her chair. Trying to keep her breathes even, she closes her eyes, and tries to think of something that would cheer her up.
The first thought that comes to her mind is her girlfriend, Mafuyu. Even if she was annoyingly nonchalant most of the time, she was still someone who brightened up Ena’s day without even trying. Just being around her made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy.
Yes, Mafuyu was great. Absolutely stunning. She was way too lucky to be able to have such an amazing girlfriend.
You aren’t good enough for her.
Ena feels her heart sink. The intrusive thought dances around in her mind like an annoying insect buzzing in her ears.
Why is she even with trash like you?
She puts her hands over her ears, trying to block the thoughts out, but of course, this does nothing. She opens her eyes, only to see tiny, wet spots on her skirt.
That’s weird, what the hell did that?
It’s just then that Ena realizes that tears are spilling from her eyes. She moves her hands to her cheeks, feeling the liquid spilling from her eyes that can’t seem to stop.
Why can’t she stop crying?
What is wrong with you? Why are you like this?
She sniffiles, her breathing becoming uneven. She inhaling so much oxygen but it’s like none of it is reaching her lungs, making her fight for her life.
You don’t deserve her. She shouldn’t even be with a pathetic person like you.
She clenches her fists together, her palms getting increasingly sweaty.
What’s happening to her right now?
Ena needs someone to help her. Ena needs her to help her.
Even with the constant rampage of negative thoughts running through her head, she grabs her phone, and dials the one person she doesn't deserve.
Mafuyu taps her pen onto her notepad, her mind blank on ideas.
Kanade works on her computer, testing different types of beats that would go well with Niijo’s vocals.
Just then, her phone rings. She looks over to it, expecting a scam call of some sort, only to be greeted with Shinonome Ena calling her. Only seconds after her cellphone rings, she gets a text.
can u pass phone to mafuyu thanks
Kanade looks at the text message with worry. This wasn’t like Ena. The way the message was written, anyway. Usually, Ena’s texts had grammar. Now, she was kind of messaging like Mizuki. Which was kind of weird.
“Mafuyu?” Kanade calls, and Mafuyu’s head rises to look into her eyes. “Ena’s calling. It’s for you.”
Since Mafuyu no longer had a phone, Kanade offered to share with Mafuyu for the time being. It was only temporary, but for now if someone like Mizuki or in this instance, Ena, wanted to speak to her, they had to text Kanade to.
Kanade has a mixed expression on her face, leaving Mafuyu feeling unsure on what to expect.
Phone in hand, Mafuyu accepts the call, holding up the phone to her ear.
“Ena? Are you okay?”
Sniffing is heard on the other line, alongside heavy breathing.
“Ena?” Mafuyu calls out again, her voice laced with concern.
“C-Can you c-come over…?” Her voice is wobbly as she speaks, pausing after each word to catch her breath.
Mafuyu shoots up out of her chair, making Kanade flinch.
“Yes, I can. Just stay there and try to take in some deep breathes, okay?”
“Okay… just… c-could you maybe stay on the line?”
Mafuyu nods even if Ena can’t see her. “Of course. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Is she alright?” Mafuyu turns her head towards where Kanade is sitting, seemingly forgetting she was there to begin with. Her face has a worried expression as she tugs on the hem of her jacket anxiously.
“Hold on a moment, Ena,” Mafuyu places the phone against her chest to muffle the sound of her voice. “Yes. She is. I will have to visit her though and bring your phone. Would that be possible?”
Kanade nods. “…Just how long will you be gone?”
“I could be back in an hour or the morning,” Mafuyu explains. “I’m not quite sure. I’m leaving, now.”
“Alright. Stay safe.”
“I will,” Mafuyu says, exiting Kanade’s door and closing it with a soft click.
Guess it’ll just be us two. Kanade thinks, grabbing her headset and pulling it over her ears.
Mafuyu lets herself in by the window. Something she’s been doing ever since they got together when everyone else other than Ena went to bed.
It would’ve been too noisy for her to come from the front door, so she decided that the window would work best.
Obviously.
“Ma-Mafuyu? Is that you…?” Ena asks, her voice barely audible over all of her sobs.
Under the moonlight cascading from her window, Ena sits on the edge of her bed, her hands wrapped around herself. Her hair is messy, strands of it sticking out and some stuck to her forehead from sweat. Tears are running down her cheeks. Snot is dripping from her nose and her cheeks are flushed red. Breathing heavily, she grips onto herself intensely, digging her nails into her arms.
Mafuyu maneuvers her way over to Ena. “Breathe in and out deep breathes, okay?”
“It’s,” Ena hiccups, rubbing her eyes. “harder than it looks.”
“I’ll do them with you, if you want,” Mafuyu offers, placing her hand onto the empty spot between them on the bed.
Taking her hand into hers, Ena tightly holds onto it, intertwining their fingers. Jagged breathes escape her as she does so. “Okay.”
“In,” Mafuyu demonstrates, taking in a breath of fresh air. Ena follows Mafuyu’s action not so long after, even if she struggles while doing so. “And out.”
She releases the breath. Ena copies. They continue this process over and over again until Ena has finally calmed down.
Now, the two girls lay in Ena’s bed. Mafuyu squeezes Ena’s hand. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Ena looks away from Mafuyu for a few seconds before looking back. “I’ve just been getting so… frustrated with myself lately. It was really nothing, but these nagging thoughts just kept on coming and coming an…”
She trails off. “You see how that went.”
Mafuyu’s hand rises to Ena’s cheek, caressing it softly. “So you’re feeling better, now?”
Ena nods. “Mhm.” She leans into the touch given to her by Mafuyu.
They lay in silence for a couple of moments before Ena speaks up again.
“Usually when these things happen to me it’s usually just me having negative thoughts about my art but… um,” Ena closes her eyes tightly. “This time… it was kind of about you…?”
Mafuyu looks visibly surprised by this. “Would you care to elaborate?”
“This is embarrassing, uh. I kept on having these thoughts about how…” Ena shakes her head, a soft and pathetic laugh escaping her lips. She swallows the lump in her throat. “About how much you’re better than me? And how I didn’t deserve you and…”
She trails off once again.
Mafuyu looks at her confused. “You aren’t- don’t think of yourself like that. I’m not better than you. I’m quite far from that, actually.”
Mafuyu leans in close. Ena’s eyes never lose hers.
“You deserve love and support, Ena.” Mafuyu reassures, her voice in a whisper. “You deserve all of it. Alright? I need you to understand that-“
Mafuyu is cut off by Ena grabbing her cheeks and pressing her lips against hers. Mafuyu freezes, but quickly accepts the kiss and eases into it.
Her hand travels up into Ena’s hair.
Something tells her that she won’t be leaving anytime soon.