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The fish dies by its mouth

Summary:

“Wei Ying wants to kiss me?” He said it low, like he was speaking to himself.
Wei Wuxian desperately wanted to deny it for his dignity, but he couldn’t bring himself to, not when Lan Zhan was staring at him with such disbelieving earnestness. Somehow, it felt like holding a glass flower. Beautiful, delicate, one wrong move and it could shatter.
“I-I mean… I don’t not want to kiss you, but it’s also, like, not all the time? Only most times? I’m not making any sense. Let’s just forget this, okay?”
“So, Wei Ying wouldn’t kiss me?”

-or-

Wei Wuxian just wanted to play yet another prank on Lan Zhan during their time in the library, but he ends up having to confront the reality that, sometimes, he just really, really wants to kiss him. And the even more unbelievable reality that Lan Zhan doesn't seem opposed to it.

Notes:

This plot bunny wouldn’t leave me, so... enjoy some senseless fluff of two teenage idiots yearning so hard they might combust. This is just silly self-indulgence, don’t take it too seriously. This story takes place during the study arc. Sorry for any typos or OOCness, it’s 1 a.m. and I just typed this out in one go. Unbeta’d.

CW: some language

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

As the days passed, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but notice that Lan Zhan seemed to be developing some resistance for his antics. Before, Wei Wuxian merely had to say a phrase or two to get the Second Jade all riled up; he barely had to put in any effort to have him reacting in the funniest ways. It was exhilarating to try and guess how far he could push the stoic boy this time around, how much he could get him to break his cool and unruffled image.

Even if it landed him back at the library copying the rules thousands of times, it just meant more opportunities to tease Lan Zhan one-on-one.

But lately, it had been taking more and more to make the other’s eyebrows so much as twitch. And Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not. He loved a challenge, and having Lan Zhan growing resistant to his regular teasing only meant he needed to think of more creative ways to get his attention. It also meant that he could now spend more minutes with him before he was either pushed off or abandoned mid-phrase.

But what if it meant that he would soon be able to start ignoring Wei Wuxian altogether? What if Lan Zhan decided it was simply not worth his time and left on a night hunt or went into seclusion until the guest lectures ended, just to get away from him?

Nah, that fuddy duddy loved his responsibilities too much to shirk them like that, no matter how much Wei Wuxian annoyed him.

Jiang Cheng’s exasperated words from a few days ago were still bouncing around in his head.

‘By the gods, why do you need his attention so bad? Will you starve to death if he doesn’t glare at you at least once a day? What’s wrong with you?’’

But he shushed the memory because there was nothing wrong with him. Lan Zhan was simply too fun to tease! It’s not like he needed it to be specifically him. He could be teasing anyone in the lectures! From any sect, really. It’s just that none of them gave reactions as hilarious as Lan Zhan did.

Wei Wuxian beelined to the library for another afternoon of rule copying, his heart rabbiting in his chest at the prospect of all the fun he’d have with Lan Zhan today. Maybe he’d finally get around to making that drawing of a turtle sporting Old Man Qiren’s goatee that had been floating around his mind all morning. A giggle almost escaped him at the thought, but he stifled it. If Lan Zhan realized that he was planning something too soon, the surprise would be ruined.

To get the perfect timing for the best reaction, Wei Wuxian had to pretend he was going to behave this time, get Lan Zhan’s guard down, and then do the prank. So, he sat down and started dutifully copying, planning how to best hide the drawing until it was complete, and watching Lan Zhan from the corner of his eye.

Lan Zhan, who was watching intently back with suspicion.

That wouldn’t do. If he was too well-behaved, Lan Zhan would surely guess he was plotting something. So, Wei Wuxian decided to let his mouth run, just enough to seem normal.

“Aiyah, Lan Zhan! Stop staring at me like that! Having all your attention like this is making me nervous!” He fanned himself with one hand for emphasis.

Just as expected, Lan Zhan immediately turned back to his book. The “Shameless!” that followed was equally as expected.

Even though it was Wei Wuxian who had thrown the bait, he’d been the one who got hooked. Once he started teasing Lan Zhan, it was simply too hard to stop. He could already see the tips of Lan Zhan’s ears growing pink, and the pull to see how much redder he could make them was almost addictive.

“I’m the shameless one? Lan Zhan, it was you who were so brazenly staring at me just now!”

Lan Zhan merely stared harder at his book. How fun!

“It’s okay, Lan Zhan! I’ve been told I am pleasing to look at, it’s not your fault!”

“Wei Ying. Do. Your. Work.” Lan Zhan’s voice was as calm as ever, but Wei Wuxian could notice the strain underneath and decided to leave it for now. He didn’t want to be kicked out so soon.

He went on to copy a few lines more, to let Lan Zhan cool down. When the paper of Lan Zhan’s book was no longer crinkling from being gripped so tightly, Wei Wuxian decided to get back on the offensive, just to keep it interesting.

“Although…” he said, as if he had been thinking deeply, “…if you wanted to stare at something actually pretty, you could simply look into a mirror.”

He wondered if that had been too much, if Lan Zhan was a maiden, this would be considered flirting; but they were two men, so it was alright. Right?

Lan Zhan’s ears had turned red again, but all he answered was a very annoyed “Silence.”

“Aw, come on, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian knew this was unwise, but his mouth ran faster than his brain. “I know vanity is forbidden, but so is not honoring yourself! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how pretty you are, huh?”

Lan Zhan glared at him from his desk. “Lying is forbidden.”

“Lying?! Lan Zhan, do you actually think you’re ugly?!” He blurted out.

Any other person would have smacked Wei Wuxian or called him an idiot for such nonsense, but Wei Wuxian’s genuine surprise seemed to give Lan Zhan pause. He looked like he was considering his words, and it made something fluffy stir inside Wei Wuxian’s chest.

Despite how aloof he acted, Lan Zhan never ignored what Wei Wuxian said. It was precisely because of this that he could continue to annoy him so effectively. Even his own didi and friends had learned to tune Wei Wuxian out when he was being too much. And he understood why. But it still warmed his heart that there was someone aside from his shijie that would always listen to his words, no matter how silly or annoying they were.

“I do not think I am ugly.” Lan Zhan started. “I have been called handsome.” There was an edge of annoyance as he said it. “A lot. But not pretty. I do not think I am pretty.”

“Well, why not? Not only girls can be pretty!” His feet got up and made their way to Lan Zhan’s desk on their own accord. “Flowers are pretty, the dew at dawn is pretty, a well-executed sword form can be pretty, too! Nowhere in the 3000 rules does it say a man can’t be pretty, and you, Lan Zhan, are very pretty!”

Lan Zhan shook his head almost-imperceptibly.

“I am too cold. I’ve been told.” 

He never believed himself to be this thick-faced, but Wei Wuxian was nothing if not committed to the bit. The edge of sadness that seemed to flicker in Lan Zhan’s eyes as he said that had nothing to do with it.

“Who said that?! The first snowfall of the year is also cold, yet it’s still pretty! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If anything, I think you are even prettier than snow, hahaha!”

What nonsense was he spewing?! This was too much even for him. He decided the manic exhilaration he was feeling as each word came out of his mouth must definitely be shame. He’d meant to wink at him to make the comment more annoying, but forgot, and now it would be weird if he did it, so he just hid his embarrassment by scratching his hose.

At this point, if Lan Zhan felt insulted and decided to kick his face in, he would accept he’d earned it. And it would give him an out of the embarrassing situation he’d put himself in.

He knew that, objectively, he was simply saying things to be funny. But, for some reason, saying out loud that he found Lan Zhan as pretty as the first snowfall felt like he was confessing some sort of secret.

To his dismay, instead of getting worked up and throwing him out, Lan Zhan’s temper seemed to have mellowed. He was clearly mulling over what he’d heard.

“Wei Ying thinks I am pretty?”

Wei Wuxian prayed that the vulnerability that seeped into Lan Zhan’s tone was a figment of his imagination, because he wouldn’t know what to do otherwise.

“I…uh…y-yeah. I do”

Lan Zhan looked down for a moment.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you think I am pretty?”

“Aiyo! Lan Zhan! Fishing for compliments? I thought vanity was forbidden!” He snickered.

Lan Zhan shook his head and stared at him with such intensity that all impulses of teasing him left Wei Wuxian in an instant.

“I merely wish to understand. Wei Ying has called me pretty before. No one else has. I want to understand what Wei Ying finds pretty.”

Really? He hadn’t noticed. He thought about waving the whole thing off before it got too awkward. But seeing Lan Zhan’s golden eyes so open and guileless, with genuine curiosity… it was as if someone had tied a fishing line down Wei Wuxian’s throat and was now pulling the truth out of him.

“Well, what isn’t there to find pretty, Lan Zhan? Just look at you, I mean…. your… your fighting stance is so elegant! Your posture so good! And your hands! They’re always so sure and quick whether it’s with the guqin, or calligraphy, or the sword!” He should stop talking, why couldn’t he stop talking?

Lan Zhan was looking at his own hands now, but Wei Wuxian’s word avalanche couldn’t be stopped.

“And your eyes, Lan Zhan. They’re so…gold! And they say so much even when your face doesn’t…. which, by the way, your face! Your face is so perfect it’s honestly annoying to look at! Because then I can’t look at anything else and how is a man supposed to focus like that? Even your lips are annoyingly perfect, you know? Do you know how many maidens would kill to kiss them? Hell, even I feel like kissing them some times, isn’t that unfair?!”

What the fuck-?! Did he just tell THE SECOND JADE OF LAN that his lips were kissable?! To his face?!

Lan Zhan’s shocked face shook him out of his tirade and he quickly covered his mouth before he sank his foot any further. At this rate, he was going to get expelled for harassing the Second Jade. Lan Zhan was going to hate him for saying such inappropriate things. Worse, he may think Wei Wuxian was a weirdo.

Where did all that come from? It was as if his mouth was running on autopilot. But Lan Zhan’s beauty was almost ethereal and he was but a mere mortal with functioning eyeballs. He was bound to be affected by Lan Zhan’s unfair fairness. It was normal. Anyone would feel that way.

Anyone!

He wanted to run, but Lan Zhan was sitting between him and the door. He was so mortified, he just wanted the ground to swallow him and spit him out on a cliff.

Lan Zhan’s ears were bright red, as were the tops of his cheeks.

They stared at each other, wide-eyed and red-faced, both afraid of what might happen if they moved. Wei Wuxian was screaming internally.

Finally, it was Lan Zhan who broke the silence, for once.

“Wei Ying wants to kiss me?” He said it low, like he was speaking to himself.

Wei Wuxian desperately wanted to deny it for his dignity, but he couldn’t bring himself to, not when Lan Zhan was staring at him with such disbelieving earnestness. Somehow, it felt like holding a glass flower. Beautiful, delicate, one wrong move and it could shatter.

“I-I mean… I don’t not want to kiss you, but it’s also, like, not all the time? Only most times? I’m not making any sense. Let’s just forget this, okay?”

“So, Wei Ying wouldn’t kiss me?”

“Lan Zhan! Why would I- oh no, don’t look so sad! I can’t stand making such a pretty face that sad! All right! I would! I would kiss you, okay? I would definitely kiss you, please stop looking at me like that!”

“I am confused. Will you kiss me or will you not.?”

“What? Is that a challenge? Are you daring me to kiss you? Lan Zhan, that is a low blow! You can’t just go around daring people to kiss you.”

Lan Zhan merely stared at him, blinking owlishly and saying nothing.

“Ahhh, fine! If I kiss you, then I can finally stop thinking about kissing you and we can go on with our merry lives. How’s that sound? Just one kiss, and we can forget this whole conversation happened.”

“….Mn.”

Lan Zhan didn’t sound entirely convinced but Wei Wuxian didn’t care. It made sense now. Whenever Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop craving tanghulu, buying and eating one was enough to get the idea out of his head for a while. This was the same. If he could kiss Lan Zhan once, then he would stop feeling tingly all over whenever they were close, he would stop needing his attention like a parched man needed water; and therefore, he would stop needing to pester him daily.

He could satisfy this strange craving and they could spend the rest of the lectures in peace, doing their own thing. Mutually beneficial, and easy to do.

Emboldened, Wei Wuxian grabbed Lan Zhan’z lapels and pulled him close. Lan Zhan went without resistance.

Wei Wuxian was not going to let the fact that he had never kissed anyone stop him now. He ought to have been more annoyed that his first kiss was going to be Lan Zhan’s and he didn’t save it for the love of his life. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Scrunching his eyes closed, he leaned forward, lips puckered, and gave a quick peck over Lan Zhan’s lips. He was surprised at how soft and plush they were. A quick jolt of electricity seemed to spark from his mouth to his feet.

He leaned back, satisfied, and opened his eyes.

Only to find Lan Zhan giving him the flattest stare he had ever received from him.

“What?”

“Not a kiss.” He deadpanned.

“What do you mean? We touched lips, that was definitely: a kiss.”

Lan Zhan’s eyebrows lowered minutely.

“Not a proper kiss.”

“What would you know? I doubt you have kissed that many people!”

Lan Zhan’s hands were now gripping his elbows, preventing him from moving further back.

“I have read. Stories where people kiss.”

“Lan Zhan! What filth have you been reading?! Such an upstanding member of the Lan clan! For shame!” He was not ready to admit that he didn’t know how to kiss, and this uptight, rule-abiding borderline monk was not going to put him on the spotlight like that! It was not how it was supposed to go.

“Romances are not filth. Some historical records and classics contain romance.”

“Aiyah, but isn’t a romance story far too salacious for such an illustrious student? Wouldn’t such things just sully your innocent and pure mind?”

“You tried to show me spring books.”

“Ah. Fair point. Well, if the great Second Jade of Lan finds this one’s kissing abilities so lousy, why don’t you show me how you would do it, hmm?”

Wei Wuxian had to admit that he was only bluffing out of embarrassment and had expected Lan Zhan to get so flustered he’d let him go.

So, when the other instead pulled him closer and sealed his lips against his, it took him by surprise. His eyes closed on their own as he felt Lan Zhan’s lips moving softly. It felt so good it had to be right, so Wei Wuxian imitated him as best as he could.

It was as if Lan Zhan was trying to eat him, nibble by nibble. Wei Wuxian’s stomach was swooping all around his body as he felt Lan Zhan’s trembling hands slide up his arms and then to his waist, pulling him closer.

Wei Wuxian felt like he was going to fall, so he instinctively hooked his hands on Lan Zhan’s shoulders.

Lan Zhan’s hand came back up to gently cup Wei Wuxian’s chin and tilted his face, just enough for their noses to stop bumping against each other.

The new angle was much more comfortable and all of Wei Wuxian’s thoughts melted and vaporized into a cloud that smelled of sandalwood and ink.

When they slowly separated for air, it was Wei Wuxian who dove back in, chasing that warm sensation again.

Time seemed to diffuse around them as they slowly dared to move their hands along each other’s back, through each other’s hair, seeking more closeness.

Wei Wuxian felt as if a second golden core had taken residence inside his body, warming and electrifying him from the inside.

It was Lan Zhan who let go first, his eyes opening and drifting lazily to the door.

“The bell. Dinnertime.”

“Huh?”

Wei Wuxian’s brain had turned to mush, but he finally caught the meaning of Lan Zhan’s words.

“Do we have to go?”

“Yes. Fix your hair.” He said, as he untangled his hand from Wei Wuxian’s ponytail.

Wei Wuxian felt as dazed and unmoored as if he had been woken up mid-dream. But he did his best to re-tie his hair, shaking his head to clear it.

“Yeah. Okay. Well…” He clapped his hands once, to ground himself. “Like I said, now that I kissed you, I can have some peace of mind, and you will be rid of me! Isn’t that nice?”

He smiled at Lan Zhan, but the look he received back was hard to interpret.

“Is that what Wei Ying wants?”

“…Don’t ask me complicated questions right now, Lan Zhan! Let’s go have dinner, okay? We’ll talk about it later, when I can think again.”

“Mn.”

 

***

Wei Wuxian took pride in his intelligence. He was a natural strategist. It was not often that one of his plans exploded in his face this hard.

Never had he stuffed his face with tanghulu only to realize the next day that he wanted even more. The usual result of overindulging his cravings was that he got sick of the thing for at least a couple months.

Then why, just why, did he now find himself feeling like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin every time Lan Zhan so much as passed by?

He’d told him that he would leave him alone. And he still didn’t understand why Lan Zhan decided to go along with his idiotic idea that day, rather than silencing him and throwing him out of the library.

Maybe Lan Zhan was really that eager to get Wei Wuxian off his back. The thought hurt, but it somehow didn’t ring true.

Whatever reasons Lan Zhan had for his actions, they had left Wei Wuxian plagued by memories. Every time he saw Lan Zhan’s elegant fingers gliding the inkbrush along the page, he remembered how those same fingers felt on the nape of his neck. Whenever he saw Lan Zhan carrying books, he’d remember how those arms had felt, warm and solid against his back.

The worst was when they met face-to-face and Wei Wuxian’s eyes were inevitably drawn to Lan Zhan’s lips, and the craving became so intense he had to employ all his willpower to not jump at Lan Zhan right then and there.

Sparring during sword practice was torture. It was the closest he could get to him, close enough to brush their arms as they exchanged blows, to catch the lingering sandalwood smell around him. And Wei Wuxian craved.

It was like that day at the library pavilion, a dam had been broken, and now Wei Wuxian was drowning in a river of desperation for even the smallest touch. Like he’d tasted a cup of ambrosia and was now desperately licking the floor for any stray droplet.

But Lan Zhan was as stoic as ever, and Wei Wuxian was trying his hardest to respect his promise to leave Lan Zhan alone. Except…it was becoming increasingly difficult with the way Lan Zhan kept staring.

It wasn’t like he was making any effort to hide it, either. He could feel it in the dinning hall, along the pathways… his only reprieve was during lectures, since Lan Zhan was sitting in the front row and wasn’t so bold as to turn around mid-class.

He would stare at Wei Wuxian with those bright, expectant eyes. But he also made no effort to actively seek him out.

What he did, though, was so un-Lan Zhan-like that Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure it was even happening. But it was obvious that something was different in the way Lan Zhan looked, even the way he smelled. And the way he always seemed to end up in Wei Wuxian’s line of sight.

Even Nie Huaisang had ended up commenting on how Lan Zhan seemed to be wearing a stronger fragrance lately, how his guans and robes seemed to be leaning to the more ornamented side (for Lan standards), and how he could swear Lan Zhan was wearing rouge on his lips. Nie Huaisang concluded that the second Jade of Lan must be trying to catch someone’s attention.

Jiang Cheng had dope-slapped him and told him he was losing his mind and should stop reading his filthy books so much, but Wei Wuxian was becoming paranoid.

Those changes, combined with his insistent stares…

Was Lan Zhan trying to seduce him? Him? Surely Wei Wuxian hadn’t become so delusional as to believe it. A proper gentleman, so stoic and virtuous as Lan Zhan wouldn’t- not for a troublesome son of a servant.

But Wei Wuxian was nothing if not scientific-minded. So, he decided to test his hypothesis.

It didn’t take much for him to land in the library for punishment again. Really, at this point it was as if Lan Qiren was willing to punish him for breathing wrong.

To his annoyance, the library was brimming with other disciples from their class. There had been an assignment for their Cultivation History lecture and everyone was trying to finish it last minute.

Wei Wuxian had finished it the night before, and he was sure Lan Zhan had done his on the same day it was assigned. Such a good little Lan. Which is why he’d had to resort to getting in trouble to ensure they would both be in the same place at the same time.

The library pavilion was noisier than usual, with the rustling of paper and the whispered despair of the guest disciples. In the desk directly across from his, Lan Zhan was sitting, as proper as ever, engrossed in his reading. Or so he seemed. Wei Wuxian had already caught him looking at him from under his lashes.

Smiling, he discreetly got the small paper figure out of his sleeve. With a flick of spiritual energy, the paperman came to life and happily jumped into Wei Wuxian’s palm. Two students walked by, obscuring Lan Zhan from his sight for a moment. When they were gone, Lan Zhan was staring right at him, and at the paperman.

Wei Wuxian winked at him, raising the paperman to his face and mimicking blowing a kiss at it. Then sent it on his way to Lan Zhan.

The paper figure glided towards the other side, then jogged the last few cun and climbed on top of the desk with a few twirls and flourishes along the way.

Even though Lan Zhan’s expression didn’t change much, the slight quirk of his brow denoted his amusement.

Everyone else was too immersed in their own work to pay any attention to them. Still, Lan Zhan quickly swept his eyes around the room before extending his palm for the paper doll to climb onto it.

Lan Zhan brought the paperman up to be level with his face and the paperman mimicked blowing the kiss to him. Wei Wuxian was convinced the slight uptick of Lan Zhan’s lip only looked like a smirk due to a trick of the light.

Lan Zhan then moved his eyes from the paper doll to Wei Wuxian’s face and, without breaking eye contact, brought the paperman up to his lips and gave it a feather-light kiss, right where its mouth would be.

Wei Wuxian was so flustered he accidentally broke the connection, and the paperman fell limp in Lan Zhan’s hand.

“That’s cheating!”

His outburst made everyone else turn to them. Lan Zhan lowered the hand with the paperman, hiding it in his sleeve in one fluid motion, and admonished, calm as ever.

“Excessive noise is forbidden.”

“That’s not fair.” Wei Wuxian replied, lowering his voice.

The rest of the students merely rolled their eyes and went back to their writing.

Wei Wuxian ripped a piece of parchment and quickly scribbled a note on it. He didn’t even bother to cut it into any shape and just sent it flying towards Lan Zhan’s desk.

’What do you think you’re doing?’

The answer was quick to arrive, in those perfectly made strokes that put his chicken scratch to shame.

’I do not know what you mean.’

’Why are you kissing my poor paperman in front of everyone!’

’Wei Ying sent a kiss first.’

’You’re doing this on purpose!’

‘Again, I do not know what you mean’

'You’re trying to make me want to kiss you!'

Whether Wei Ying wants to kiss me is not something I can control.

‘Oh yeah, then what’s with the perfume? The rouge? Your hair? That is not very Lan-like. I thought vanity was forbidden’

 

Lan Zhan at least had the decency to blush at that last message. He then crumpled the paper and got up. Without raising his eyes from the floor, he swiftly walked out.

Oh no, he was not about to run away like that.

Wei Wuxian rushed to get up and follow him.

He found him walking briskly along a side path, rubbing furiously at his mouth with a handkerchief until his lips looked even redder than with the rouge.

“Lan Zhan!”

As soon as he heard him, Lan Zhan started walking even faster.

Rules be damned, Wei Wuxian ran to catch up to him. He barely managed to grab one of his sleeves.

“What was that about?!”

Lan Zhan was staring hard at the floor.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian tried to duck his head so he could look at his face, but Lan Zhan kept avoiding his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

It took some prodding, but Lan Zhan finally spoke.

“I am sorry. If my behavior made you uncomfortable.” His eyes slid towards the reddish-stained handkerchief.

“What? No, Lan Zhan, no! How could it? It was just… not common, from you. But I didn’t mind it. I didn’t mind it at all!”

Lan Zhan seemed to curl onto himself, his hand gripping the handkerchief tighter.

“I wanted to be…. pretty.”

“But you are already pretty, Lan Zhan! Didn’t I already tell you? You are so pretty I had no choice but to kiss you, back then. Why would you need to be prettier?”

In the light of the setting sun, the blazing red in Lan Zhan’s ears became more evident. Especially as he looked to the side to try and hide his face.

“So you would kiss me again. I was greedy.” He mumbled.

“Lan Zhan, ah, Lan Zhan, don’t say that! If you were being greedy then I must be the greediest person alive.”

Lan Zhan looked at him quizzically and Wei Wuxian felt the overwhelming need to squish his face out of cute aggression. He controlled himself in favor of explaining.

“Do you know how much I have suffered these weeks? Ah? Do you? I thought if I only kissed you once, it would be enough and we could go on and live our lives in peace. But then you were there, being you, and looking like that and ugh!”

He slapped Lan Zhan’s chest with no real force behind it.

“Indulging a craving is supposed to quench it. Not make you want more of it, you know?” 

He shook him. Or tried to. Lan Zhan was much too solid to be moved by his feeble attempts at letting off his nervous energy.

“Wei Ying wanted more?”

“Don’t say it like that! But yes. I’ve been wanting to kiss you so bad it’s driving me up the wall! Take responsibility!”

Wei Wuxian was absolutely not expecting Lan Zhan to immediately lean down. However, the voices of approaching disciples startled them apart.

“Ah, dammit! Lan Zhan, could we maybe move to a less public place? I know I’m not the best rule-follower but I don’t want us punished for indecency.”

He had never seen Lan Zhan look so obviously impatient and he was surprised by how hot he found it, but that was something to unpack another day. Right now, he was content with letting Lan Zhan grab his hand and drag him along a winding path at a pace that was skirting the no-running rule.

They ended up in a small courtyard nestled against the outer wall. Lan Zhan guided him until they were sitting down at a bench that was partially hidden by a bush. He turned to stare at him, his eyes almost glittering.

“No one comes here at this hour. May we kiss now?”

If Wei Wuxian didn’t know Lan Zhan so well, he’d think he was pouting. He couldn’t help hiding his face in his hands.

“Lan Zhaaan! Don’t be so bold! My heart won’t be able to take it!”

“Kiss.”

“By the gods, I have created a monster.”

“Not created. Set it free.”

“So bold!”

“Kiss.”

“Alright, alright! Er-gege is so impatient!”

Lan Zhan didn’t let him continue, capturing his lips in a moment of distraction. And Wei Wuxian was happy to surrender.

Nighttime found them still embracing, with Wei Wuxian now sitting sideways on Lan Zhan’s lap.

“It’s almost curfew.” Lan Zhan whispered against his lips.

“Don’t wanna. I want to keep kissing you.” He kissed him again, for emphasis. Lan Zhan indulged him, but soon moved away again.

“We can kiss again tomorrow.”

“I want to keep kissing you forever. I’d kiss you every day.”

“Every day?”

“Every day forever. I feel like I will die if I go a day without kissing you.”

“Then, I will talk to Uncle tomorrow.”

“Whuh?”

Wei Wuxian was too dazed to grasp the meaning of those words at first.

“Wait, talk to him about what?”

“Arrangements for our courtship.”

“WHAT?! Isn’t it a bit too soon for tha- ah, Lan Zhan! No, don’t make sad bunny eyes at me! That isn’t fair! Ugh, alright, but if the old man qi deviates when he hears the news, I don’t wanna be blamed!”

As they made their way back to the guest quarters as discreetly as they could, they found Nie Huaisang in one of the back roads, throwing peanuts in the air and catching them with his mouth.

The shorter man happily waved at them, then paused. Looking intently into their faces, he approached with a wide grin.

“Ah. I’m glad! I’m glad! But I guess I shouldn’t say a peep until it’s officially announced.” He winked at them.

“What are you talking about?” Said Wei Wuxian, bewildered.

Nie Huaisang simply opened his fan and waved it coyly.

“I’ll tell you the details later, Wei-xiong. For now, I’ll just say that you’re welcome.”

To Wei Wuxian’s ever-growing surprise, Lan Zhan nodded solemnly, rummaging in his sleeve until he pulled out a sizable wooden box and a small, round container.

“I am in your debt.” He said, presenting both items to the Nie heir.

“Ah, no need, no need, I was just helping both an old and a new friend!” He said, but still eagerly took the box, opening to look at the contents happily.

Inside, there was a wide array of inks and pigments. “Hmm, the new hues are even prettier in person! Much appreciated, Lan-xiong. Keep the rouge. That shade suits you better than me, anyway. And about that other thing we talked…?”

Lan Zhan gave him a severe look.

“I will not falsify your grades, Nie Huaisang.”

“Pssh! It was worth the try. No hard feelings, though, this is more than enough payment!” He patted the box ang hugged it to his chest. “Oh, Wei-xiong! You got a little…” he used the corner of his fan to point at a spot near his own lower lip. “You might wanna clean it up before anyone else sees.”

Wei Wuxian rubbed the pad of his thumb against his face, in the spot Nie Huaisang indicated and it came out stained with rouge.

Before he could say anything else, Nie Huaisang was already disappearing around the corner.

“Lan Zhan. Lan Wangji, Lan Er-gege. Would you mind explaining what the fuck was that?”

In lieu of an answer, Lan Zhan tipped Wei Wuxian’s chin up for a short kiss that left him reeling.

“Tomorrow, Wei Ying. Good night.”

With that, he left. Wei Ying walked to his room on autopilot. Tomorrow was going to be a very busy day, then.

 

***

On second thought, maybe “But consider, sir, what would be worse: me marrying Lan Zhan or Nie-xiong marrying Lan Xichen?” had not been as good an argument as it had sounded in his head. So, now, Wei Wuxian decided it would be best to let Lan Zhan do all the talking when they broke the news to Uncle Jiang.

Notes:

Welcome to my Let Wangxian Be Normal Horny Teens agenda! Wei Wuxian tripping and falling into the point then getting up and running past it anyway is one of my favorite characterizations for him. And Lan Zhan stealthily weaponizing his cuteness is just too adorable to not ignore canon for it. I hope you enjoyed reading this!