Chapter Text
Andie waited until later in the afternoon. She needed to time her plan perfectly. Her routine life at Phantomhive Manor had helped her to pick up on and remember certain things, like the daily schedules of the other servants, for instance. She knew that at this time of day, Sebastian would be attending the west side of the manor - far away from where she wanted to go. That was exactly what she needed. The last thing she wanted was for Sebastian to catch her in action.
She'd blitzed through her knitting patterns, making sure she'd already completed a decent amount before she took off on her mission. She knew that what she was planning would definitely get her into trouble if she was caught. She wouldn't give Sebastian another reason to tell her off by slacking on her work as well.
She waited until after she could hear a distant clock chime the hour from somewhere down the corridor, before abandoning her room and heading off towards the kitchens. Bardroy was working, but Andie wasn't too concerned about that. The chef tended to leave her alone for the most part and she didn't really view him as much of a threat anymore, even if she still wasn't too comfortable talking to him. Plus he was clattering about loudly with pots and pans, so she reckoned she could conduct her search around him without him even noticing.
She was determined to find what she was looking for. The strange feelings she'd been picking up on yesterday had dimmed as the hours wore on and by this morning, she couldn't feel it anymore. Besides the usual darker emotions that she now expected - lustful daydreams from Mey-Rin and the ever looming shadow of Sebastian's black presence - she couldn't feel anything. Not anything good.
It was that magic tea of Sebastian's that had caused her to experience such wonderful things yesterday. And she was going to make sure she experienced them again.
As Bardroy bustled around near the stove, Andie snuck along the other side of the cabinets, peering over worktops and quietly peeking inside the cupboards as she moved. She had no luck along this side. All of the cupboards and drawers were just full of pots, porcelain and utensils. All the things you used to prepare food and drink - nothing that was actually edible.
She waited for the chef to finish pouring generous portions of carrots and parsnips into the giant pot on the stove top, then move along to start tipping the utensils he'd used into the already full sink. Whilst he was occupied, she crept along towards the stove, looking in a few of the cupboards there, but she still found nothing. Where did Sebastian keep the tea? Was it locked away somewhere because of its magical properties, in order to stop anyone from doing exactly what she was doing now?
As Bardroy moved back and forth around the kitchen, Andie did the same, always staying out of his line of sight and quickly ducking behind something whenever he turned. She kept at a crouch at all times, concealing herself behind worktops and cupboards. Though the chef had always been nothing but friendly towards her, she still didn't want to risk the possibility of getting into trouble. This was a surprisingly daring plan of action for her and already her stomach was knotting at the thought of getting caught out.
What Andie didn't realise was that Bardroy knew she was there the entire time. As a former soldier, he'd been trained to be on high alert at all times and, even though his laidback attitude suggested otherwise, you never lost traits like that. That state of being was as much a part of him as breathing was. He'd been aware when someone had entered the kitchen, though when he hadn't then been bombarded with criticism, he'd known that it wasn't Sebastian. Then when nobody else had tried to engage him, he'd been even more confused.
He'd quickly established who it was. He'd noticed every movement of Andie's through his peripheral vision, even if he didn't give that knowledge away. He wasn't too concerned once he realised that it was Andie sneaking around, but he did wonder what she was doing. Was she hungry? She hadn't exactly eaten much at lunchtime, but then she never did. He decided to leave her to her devices for a little while so that he could maybe figure out what she was up to.
Though after multiple times of turning to see her slip behind another corner and then spotting her small hands feeling along one of the worktops, probably thinking she was being inconspicuous, his curiosity got the better of him. "Alright, what exactly are you doing down there?"
Andie let out a small squeak, jumping so much that she nearly hit her head off the cupboard she'd been hiding behind. She straightened up guiltily. "Nothing."
"Nothing, huh?" Bardroy raised his blonde eyebrows. "You hungry or something? Sebastian doesn't like us to snack during the day, but I can get you something if you want."
Andie just quickly shook her head with wide eyes, looking ready to bolt. Bardroy sighed. He knew she was scared of him, though he'd never quite understood why. He knew nothing of Andie's abilities or the past that had gone with them. The only consolation he took from thinking it was personal was that she always seemed scared of Sebastian and Tanaka too and that she didn't even appear all that fond of Mey-Rin. Finnian was the only one she seemed to trust.
Bardroy glanced up at the clock on the wall. As long as this didn't take too long, then he'd still have enough time to prepare the stew for tonight. "Look, I need to go grab something. Can you watch the stew for me till I get back?"
"The stew?" Andie squeaked, half terrified, half confused.
"Just make sure it doesn't boil over. I won't be long. Can you do that?"
Andie managed a small nod and obediently moved closer to the stove so that she could watch the stew's progress. Resisting the urge to shake his head, Bardroy left her to it. He hadn't finished adding all of the ingredients to the stew to start cooking yet. He wondered if she'd realise that the stove wasn't even switched on.
He strode along quickly, hoping that Sebastian wouldn't catch him out of the kitchen, heading straight for the nearest door that led out onto the grounds. Finnian wasn't too difficult to track down - he often left a path of destruction in his wake. Sure enough, Bardroy only had to follow the chaotic trail of leaves around the edge of the manor to find the young gardener attempting to replant a small patch of trees that likely hadn't been half as crooked before they'd been pulled up.
"Oi, Finny, your girlfriend's been sneaking around in the kitchens."
Finnian looked up, his eyebrows pulling together. "Huh?"
"You know, about this high, would follow you around everywhere like a lost puppy if Sebastian let her," said Bardroy dryly.
Finnian flushed. "She's not my girlfriend. And what's she doing in the kitchens?"
"That's what I'd like to know," said Bardroy. "Why don't you go and see if you can find out what she's up to?"
"Me?"
"Well, she likes you, doesn't she?" Bardroy shrugged. "She wouldn't talk to me and I didn't wanna get her in trouble with Sebastian or anything. I don't think she was causing any harm, but I'm gonna end up tripping over her if she sticks around."
Nonplussed, Finnian put down the half a tree that he'd been holding. "Alright. I'll see if I can find out what's going."
"Atta boy." Bardroy leant back again the wall and fired up a cigarette. "Here's your head start. Don't take too long though, because I'm sure Sebastian will figure out soon enough if I haven't been working."
"Got it!" Finnian nodded.
He ran across the grounds towards the kitchen quarters. He wondered why Andie would be hanging around there. She usually tended to avoid Bardroy, like she did with pretty much everyone else. When he got to the kitchens, he found Andie kneeling on a stool that she'd pushed over to the stove, peering inside a big metal pot that sat atop it. She looked up hastily when she heard the squeak of Finnian's wellington boots against the tiled floor.
"Hey, Andie," he said reassuringly. "What are you doing?"
"He said to watch the stew."
He obviously meant Bardroy. Even Finnian could see from one glance that the stove wasn't actually on. Andie had probably been frightened and just done whatever he'd told her. "I mean what are you doing in here? You never come into the kitchens."
Andie flushed and said nothing.
Finnian crossed the kitchen towards her. "It's okay; you can tell me," he said kindly. "I won't tell Bard or anyone else. Did you need something? Did you want something to eat?"
Andie started to nod, but then shook her head instead. She looked down, casting her gaze to the floor before finally admitting in a quiet voice, "It's the tea."
"Tea?" Finnian repeated, baffled.
"We had tea yesterday with Lady Lizzy," Andie mumbled. "I just wanted to try some more."
Finnian smiled sympathetically. It was such a simple request. "That's okay; we can find you some tea. Look, Bardroy keeps the pot over here..."
He made to turn away, but Andie hopped down from the stool and caught hold of his sleeve. "It's not that." She'd already checked the pot in question and knew that it only contained regular old tea leaves. "It's a... special tea. It must be hidden somewhere."
Finnian's forehead creased into a puzzled line. "I don't think Sebastian hides any of the tea. Even the expensive ones."
Andie wasn't sure how to explain it to him. If there was one thing she knew, it was that she could trust him. She just didn't know if he'd believe her. As she looked up into those large sea-coloured eyes, she could see that, despite his obvious confusion, he was still earnest to help her. Even if he didn't believe her, at least she knew he'd never make fun of her.
Feeling somewhat silly, she lowered her voice. "It's magic tea."
"Magic tea?" Finnian asked, eyes wide.
"I know it sounds strange, but after we had it yesterday, I felt... wonderful. I just wanted to feel that way again," Andie admitted shyly.
Finnian had to agree that the idea sounded absurd, but at the same time, he couldn't deny that there'd been an incredibly noticeable difference in Andie yesterday. Could it really be possible that the tea had magical properties, like Andie believed? Whether it was or not, she clearly wanted it really badly. If it was going to make her happy, the least he could do was help her to find it.
He smiled. "It doesn't sound that strange. I'll help you find it. Come on, we'll have a look in the pantry."
He headed straight for the storage cupboard at the back of the kitchen before Andie could even thank him. She watched his back in surprise before hastily following him into the pantry. For storage, it was reasonably sized and filled with shelving units, all lined with various boxes and packets of dry foods, tins and cans, seasonings, bottles of oil... There was so much stuff that Andie was sure that half of it must never get used.
"What do you think it'll look like?" she asked.
"I think the tea usually comes in boxes," said Finnian, picking one up to inspect and then casting it aside.
Andie determinedly attempted to do the same. She picked up the first box she saw and tried to establish what it was by the shape of the words and the small picture on the front. It looked like a sprig of wheat - that probably wasn't going to be anything to do with tea. She put it back on the shelf and then picked up the next box, doing the same again.
"Did Sebastian say what flavour the tea was?" Finnian questioned. "That might help us to find the right one."
Andie frowned, trying to remember. She hadn't thought the flavour would be important at the time. "I think he said it was rosebud."
"That should help," said Finnian cheerfully, continuing to search. Andie did the same, though much slower. When Finnian looked back at her, she was staring hard at a plainly labelled box. "Andie, are you alright? That's stock; that's not tea."
"Oh." The box of stock cubes had no picture on the front. She replaced it on the shelf. "Sorry."
Finnian looked at her in surprise. "Can't you read?"
Andie flushed, looking down at the floor. Had it been that obvious? "I never learnt. Some words look familiar, but it's easier for me to look at the pictures of things."
Finnian guessed she hadn't exactly had a normal upbringing. He gave her a reassuring smile. "Well, if you prefer to go by pictures, then just do that. Try looking over here. That shelf is for cooking ingredients."
"Oh." Andie turned towards the opposite shelf he was indicting. "Sorry."
"You don't have to apologise," he assured, patting her on the head as he moved past her. "I'll have a look on these high shelves up here."
Andie picked up another box. This one was clearly decorated with a picture of a cup and saucer in the corner. Now she seemed to be on the right track. She turned the packaging over, trying to establish whether there was anything printed on it that would indicate the flavour. If there was, it wasn't anything she could understand. She sighed and turned to Finnian to ask for his help, when she noticed that the shelving unit he was trying to reach on his tiptoes was swaying precariously.
"Watch out!" she gasped.
Finnian looked up just as the shelf started to topple. He pushed Andie out of the way, probably with more force than he intended as she hit the shelves opposite, then hastily backed away as the shelving unit came crashing down, scattering boxes and sachets everywhere. "Err, oops!" He rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Sorry about that, Andie. I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Andie shook her head quickly, more concerned about the fact that the unit had landed on his feet. She scrambled over the mess on the floor. "What about you? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," said Finnian, nonplussed. He grabbed the side of the shelving unit and lifted it back into place with ease.
Andie watched him uncertainly. "Didn't it hurt your feet?"
"Oh." Finnian understood her concern. "My boots have steel toe caps, so I didn't feel anything."
"Steel?" Andie repeated.
"Yeah, they're completely solid." Finnian tapped the heel of one of his wellington boots against the toe of the other. "See? Look, you can even stand on them and I won't feel it. Try it."
He held his hands out to her. Still feeling unsure, Andie gingerly took his hands and stepped up onto the toes of his wellingtons. Sure enough, they were solid. She might as well have been standing on rocks.
"Sebastian got them for me," Finnian told her brightly, keeping her balanced with his hands. "He thought it might be a good idea since... well, since I tend to knock a lot of stuff over."
Andie had to admit it was a good point, though she didn't mind that Finnian was clumsy. Just as long as he didn't end up hurting himself. Especially when he'd been trying to help her. "I'm glad you didn't get hurt."
Finnian's eyes widened in surprise, but he looked rather pleased. "Thanks, Andie."
"What on earth has happened in here?"
They both jumped and Andie all but fell off Finnian's boots. Sebastian was standing in the doorway. He did not look impressed. Andie felt her heart rate start to increase as panic threatened to overwhelm her. Once again, she hadn't even sensed him approaching. His dark aura frightened her enough as it was - it suddenly felt even more daunting when she knew she was in trouble. She was sure he wouldn't be happy to learn that she'd been looking to steal his magic tea.
However, Sebastian had another culprit in mind. Seeing the mess from the fallen shelves, it didn't take a genius to deduce who had caused it. "Finny..." he half sighed, half growled.
"I'm sorry, Sebastian!" Finnian exclaimed hastily. "I'll clean it up right away!"
He started to grab handfuls of boxes from the floor when Andie piped up, "It was my fault." She intended it to sound bolder, but it came out as more of a squeak.
They both still heard her. Finnian dropped the boxes back on the floor in surprise and Sebastian gave her a sharp look. It was unlike Andie to speak up out of turn. Or often at all. "Your fault, you say?"
Andie quailed under his intense stare and found herself looking at her feet instead. "I was... looking for something. Finny was helping me."
Sebastian raised an eyebrow slightly. "Finny, you go back to work. And find Bardroy whilst you're at it. No doubt he was part of this scheme too."
Finnian hesitated. He knew how much Sebastian scared Andie, yet she'd still taken all of the blame to get him out of trouble. "But..."
"I said back to work, Finny," Sebastian repeated louder. It made Andie flinch and it was certainly enough to send Finnian scuttling off. "Now then... What is it that you were looking for?" Andie bit her lip, trying to think of something else that would get her into less trouble. Sebastian seemed to know what she was thinking, because he added, "You're already in trouble, so you may as well just tell me."
Andie took a long time before finally admitting in a voice barely higher than a whisper, "It was the tea."
"I'm sorry?"
Andie did meet his gaze then, uncharacteristically bursting out, "It's magic, isn't it? Nothing has ever made me feel like that before. It was just so wonderful that I had to try it again!"
Sebastian stared at her in surprise, then started chuckling. "Of course the tea isn't magic!"
Andie frowned, confused. "Then what was..."
"What did you think of Lady Elizabeth?" Sebastian asked instead, cutting her off. "How would you describe her?"
Andie thought it an odd question, but he clearly wanted an answer. "She was very nice and pretty. And happy. And she talked a lot."
"Do you know why I wanted you to spend time with her?" Sebastian continued. Andie shook her head. "Lady Elizabeth is one of the kindest, purest, most positive people you could meet. Her personality always has the tendency to affect most people. So what kind of effect do you think it would have on someone with a gift like yours?"
"So what I felt was... her emotions?" said Andie, still feeling confused. Sebastian simply smiled his confirmation. "But I can't ever pick up on good things. And that doesn't make sense, because I felt it again when I was out in the gardens and Lady Lizzy wasn't there then."
"There is no such word as can't," Sebastian corrected her. "You only believe you cannot perceive positive emotions because you haven't been able to do so until now. Lady Elizabeth has a strong effect on anyone, so I had a feeling that spending some time with her would help to broaden your gift somewhat. Your senses were temporarily widened so that you were able to pick up on new emotions from those around you. What you experienced in the gardens was no doubt perceived from Finny. If we continue to hone your gifts in similar ways, then hopefully, they'll expand even more over time."
Andie couldn't believe it. Those wonderful things she'd been feeling were really from Finnian and Lady Elizabeth? She'd never been able to pick up on good feelings before - no wonder it had been so strange for her. But if what Sebastian said was true and that she'd possibly be able to do even more of it in the future, then it really did open up an entire new world for her. She'd never been happy in her life for as long as she could remember, but if she had a chance to feel something other than the negativity around her, maybe she'd finally have a hope at changing that.
Sebastian could see that what he'd just told her had suddenly broadened her very small world. Perhaps it was that look of utmost wonder on her face that made his decision. "I'll let you off the hook on this occasion, providing that you get all of this mess cleared up. And I would prefer if you came to me in the future, rather than staging silly little searches for something that doesn't even exist."
"Okay," Andie squeaked, hastily grabbing several boxes from the floor.
"Magic tea," Sebastian scoffed, as he walked off. "I've never heard the likes of it."
XXX
After clearing up in the kitchen, which she did even more quickly as soon as Bardroy returned, Andie retired back to the empty guest room to continue her knitting patterns. Part of her was still amazed that she hadn't gotten into trouble - it was probably because the incredibly valuable thing she'd been planning to steal didn't actually exist - but mostly, she was trying to get her head around what Sebastian had told her.
For the first time in her life, she'd been able to pick up something good. Was that really what being happy felt like? No wonder people strived to achieve it. She wanted to experience that feeling again and again. It had made her feel so lovely and warm whilst she'd been in the gardens with Finnian. She really hoped Lady Elizabeth would visit again soon. She didn't want to have to wait too long to feel that again.
There was a brisk tapping on the window behind her. Andie dropped her knitting in surprise. She turned to see Finnian's face beyond the window. He smiled and waved. She glanced back towards the open doorway, sending nobody past it, then hastened to open the window. "What's wrong?" The room was on the ground floor and she often saw Finnian pass by as he was working outside, but he'd never stopped to talk to her before. It wasn't worth Sebastian's wrath to be caught slacking.
"I just wanted to be sure you didn't get into too much trouble with Sebastian," he said, looking worried.
Andie was surprised by the extent of his concern. She really wasn't used to people worrying about her. "Oh. It was alright. He just told me to go to him next time I'm looking for something. He said the tea wasn't magic at all."
Confusion creased Finnian's forehead. "So what do you think it was that made you feel so good yesterday?"
It was in that moment that Andie realised that the answer to Finnian's question was him. It may have been Lady Elizabeth's presence that had widened her abilities and made her feel comfortable enough into opening up more, but she hadn't felt that wonderful sensation until she'd been with Finnian. When she'd first come to Phantomhive Manor, she'd been in desperate need for someone to act as her new security net and she'd initially singled Finnian out as the least threatening person there. But he'd stopped being just her comfort blanket a while ago. That wasn't the reason she always wanted to be around him anymore.
"Are you okay?" Finnian asked.
Andie realised she'd just been staring at him and fumbled to answer the easier question. "He said being around Lady Lizzy widened my power, so I can pick up other things too."
"You mean like good things?" Finnian asked, eyes wide. He understood that Andie had only ever been able to perceive bad emotions from people. She nodded, causing his face to split into a wide smile. "That's really great!"
Unexpectedly, Andie smiled back. It was a rarity for her. She felt the strangest sensation. It wasn't like yesterday - that had been more like the feeling had washed over her. This was something different. It was like something warm and comforting deep inside of her. She then had an astonishing thought. Was this her emotion? She could feel the bad from people as clearly as if the emotions were her own, but there was always a distinct difference when it was from someone else, like it found its way into her from outside. This had started within her. It hadn't come from anywhere else. But she'd never felt anything like this before.
Then something did wash over her, but it wasn't anything good. It was cold and black and hinted at much darker things. The contrast was so sudden that she gasped. She knew that feeling well. "Sebastian's coming!" she told Finnian quickly.
Finnian didn't ask how she knew. He gave her a quick parting smile and ducked away from the window and out of sight. Andie hastily pulled the frame back into place and turned around just as Sebastian entered the room. He didn't seem at all surprised to find her right by the window, guilty expression on her face. On the contrary, he looked rather amused.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
"Fine," she squeaked, feeling that maybe this time, she really was going to get into trouble.
But apparently not. "We breached upon the subject of your afternoon with Lady Elizabeth earlier on," he said. "You now understand why I was eager for you to spend time with her, as a way to expand your abilities. I also wanted to commend you on how well you did with her questions. As you could see, Lady Elizabeth is a very talkative sort. Yet you kept up well and you even posed some questions of your own."
"Um... so that wasn't bad?" Andie shifted her feet nervously. She still hadn't been sure if she'd been speaking out of turn yesterday.
"In this case, not at all," Sebastian confirmed. "It's good to take some initiative sometimes."
Andie was surprised at that. She'd just assumed that, as a servant, she was always expected to know her place. "So it's okay to ask questions?"
"As long as it's appropriate," said Sebastian. "Does that mean you have any questions for me?"
Andie hesitated. Sebastian's dark presence still unnerved her and she preferred to keep contact with him to a minimum, but there was something that she'd always wondered about. She glanced towards the knitting that she'd left on her chair. "The clothes I'm making... They'd only fit very small children. I wondered what they're all for?"
"An excellent question!" Sebastian exclaimed, pleased. "Though there's actually someone who can answer that for you far better than I can, so come along..."
Andie realised that he wanted her to follow him, so she did so, feeling confused, following a few steps behind as he strode along briskly. He took her down the corridor and around several corners before stopping at one of the doors. Though Andie didn't get lost quite so much anymore, a lot of the doors still looked the same to her. She could only tell which room this was because Sebastian stopped to knock first. It was Master Ciel's study.
"Come in," the young, authoritative voice called.
Sebastian led Andie inside. "Afternoon, my young lord. Our maid had a question about our latest production line."
Production line? Andie gave Sebastian a quizzical glance, but he'd already turned and left her alone with the young master. How did he manage to do that in the blink of an eye? She turned back to Ciel, who was watching her expectantly. She really wasn't sure what Sebastian had meant, but she repeated the question that she'd asked him.
"Yes, we've been using them for the newest line of Funtom toys," he said, gesturing carelessly towards one side of the room.
There was a long, polished wooden table, carpeted in a perfectly organised array of various stuffed toys. Teddy bears, bunny rabbits, cats, dogs... All of them were wearing the little cardigans, hats and even tiny booties that Andie had knitted herself. She stopped beside the table, staring at them in surprise., The pieces she'd been knitting hadn't been for babies or small children at all. They were for the toys.
"Originally, we sold stuffed animals wearing clothing of much more expensive materials," Ciel added. "Detailed waistcoats, pantaloons, gowns... But the general consensus of the feedback we received was that the children didn't find them cuddly enough. They were used more for decoration. So we decided to design the next line in more everyday materials."
Andie stared at the stuffed toys in awe. Even in the clothes made of wool, they were still really high quality. "They're beautiful."
Ciel watched her staring at them. "Would you like one?" She looked round at him in surprise. It was easy to forget that she was eighteen years old with the way she acted. In the way that he'd had to grow up too quickly, she seemed to have regressed. "Maybe you're too old for stuffed toys, but you can have one to keep in the servant's quarters if you like. They are partly your handiwork after all."
He said it like it was all of no interest to him, but Andie was incredibly touched by the gesture. Growing up, her brothers had shared one tatty teddy and she hadn't had one at all. She'd never imagined owning something of such high calibre amongst toymakers. "I can really have one?"
"That's what I said, isn't it?" A hint of impatience coloured Ciel's tone. He didn't have the time to humour prompting Andie along that Sebastian seemed to. "So go ahead and pick one so that you can get back to work."
His manner made Andie feel like grabbing the first one she could and scarpering, but the child still in her made her stop. She'd barely had any toys when she was younger. All of them had been cast-offs. She'd certainly never gotten to choose a toy before. So even though she could feel Ciel's gaze burning into the back of her head, she boldly took her time in deciding. The cats were very pretty looking, but she'd never been altogether fond of cats. The neighbour's cat had once gotten into their house and destroyed all the drapes. Perhaps a traditional teddy bear?
But one toy caught her eye amongst all the others. It was a dog with floppy ears, a brown patch encircling one glass eye. He wore a bright tartan neckerchief and a wide-brimmed hat. Andie was certain that, had it been real, the dog would have been friendly. She picked it up gingerly. It was far softer than it looked. She resisted the urge to press it to her chest in front of Ciel.
"Hmm, the dog," Ciel observed, unimpressed. "Well, I should take it back to the servant's quarters if I were you. Then you are to get back to work. As you can see, these toys don't make themselves."
Andie nodded and then bowed awkwardly, clutching the stuffed dog. "Thank you very much."
Ciel waved a hand to dismiss her. "Just tell the others that it was a reward for doing well in those lessons that Sebastian has been giving you. All the staff here are such children that I'm sure they'd all want one otherwise."