Chapter Text
Kaoru watched Langa carefully, gauging his reaction. He had told him everything, and the silver blue haired man just stared off. He was sitting on what would be Reki’s bed, once Reki was able to navigate stairs on his own. He glances over at Kaoru. The pair of them had sat in silence for at least ten minutes now, and Kaoru was worried about how Langa was taking this, and if Reki was still okay in the bathroom.
The pink haired man had kept no secrets from Langa about who did this, or what he did. He had omitted the parts about Adam, but had let him know that the other’s knew that Reki had been severely harmed. He warned him that Reki didn’t know who else knew. He had made sure that he knew everything that he needed to, in order to best support Reki.
“I know this is a lot to process, but I needed you to know the entire truth, whether Reki was ready for you or not. I believe that he was worried that it would upset you, because of your own father,” he explains. “He was very worried that you’d be crushed or hurt in some way,” he finally says.
Langa blinks.
“That’s… not- how-” he stops himself from saying anything for a couple more minutes. “That’s so Reki, isn’t it?” Langa finally settled on, giving Kaoru a sad smile. “He would think things through like that. That somehow, finding out that Reki would be better off without a dad would make me losing mine worse, somehow.”
Kaoru nods. It was a very Reki way of thinking.
“I suppose he thinks that you think that Reki and his father had some…fantastic sort of relationship. That they were able to talk and laugh together easily,” Kaoru explains.
“I guess I did project that, but why would he think that I needed to be lied to about a dad being a dick?” Langa mumbles. “It’s so silly. So pointless. So of course I need to do double time now to make him realize that I’m okay,” he murmurs. “I love him for caring so much…but I wish he cared about himself just as much,” he admits.
Kaoru nods.
“Self care can be very hard,” he admits. He looks up as he hears a tell tale set of thumps, signaling he was ready to get out of the tub and needed help.
“Ah- that’s Reki now. He’s probably done with his bath. His goal is to go out in the garden. Maybe that’s the best place for you to wait?” Kaoru suggested. “Reki hasn’t seen this room yet,” he comments. “He just comes upstairs for baths, otherwise, he stays on the bottom floor. I lied and told him that I had a client coming over,” he said as he got up. Langa nods.
“I’ll wait outside then,” he adds. “Then I’ll just- smother him with affection or something,” he adds quietly. “Or maybe I’ll just smother him for lying this bad.”
He gets up and starts his way downstairs. Kaoru watches him go, before heading back into the bathroom to help Reki, settling into their normal routine.
Before too long, Kaoru is carrying a thoroughly exhausted Reki downstairs again, hoping the other can’t feel how bad his heart is racing as he thinks about how terrible this all might go. He nudges the door open to the patio, praying a million things all at once. He wished that Miya was still here, or Kojiro. Hell, he’d take Hiromi or Adam even. He prays it goes well. He prays he doesn’t get to anxious and trip, sending them both crashing.
Instead, he is here with just Reki and just Langa and the guilt that his betrayal is building up.
Reki turns his head to look into the yard and freezes up. Langa takes him in, really, and the pain is obvious.
Reki is still a mess of fading bruises, but they’re almost gone. He looks too thin, a feeding tube taped to his face. His arm is in a cast, along with his leg, and it’s clear that he’s been exhausted and losing weight. He sees Langa, and Kaoru can feel the redhead’s breath hitch. Langa is up in a second, coming over and grabbing on to him. Reki seems shocked for a second. Kaoru can feel Langa take the weight from him, but Reki is still clinging tight to Kaoru instead. Finally, like a rubber band snapping, Reki clings tight to Langa instead, broken shuddery sobs starting to rack through his body. Langa carefully sits in the grass with him, trying hard to keep him comfortable as the red head just cries.
Langa doesn’t talk. He doesn’t need to.
When Kaoru is sure that neither of them are going to pass out or have a panic attack, he retreats back into the living room, keeping an eye on Langa. Kaoru snaps a photo as he watches the pair, sending it off to Ainosuke, along with a simple message.
Thanks for picking him up from the airport and dropping him off. Reunion in progress.
It’s not too long before he gets a message in return. He glances down at it.
Keep me updated, will you? Reki’s not much of an asset if he isn’t working.
Kaoru snorts. Leave it to the man to start moving away from something so emotional. It was like him to not get attached. He was going to leave it, and message him later on when another message came through.
Hope Snow and Red are handling it fine. If not, let me know.
Kaoru hums. So the man really was trying his best to change and accept them all as they were. He thinks about tucking his phone away for now, but he stops. Perhaps just one more message will be fine. He could push the other just a bit.
I think it’s time you let them know how much you’re trying and that you care, Adam Kaoru sent, before tucking his phone away.
He glances at the clock, then back outside. As long as Langa was here, he might as well get back to work on making this house a home.
Langa held on to him, taking deep steadying breaths. He was a little glad that Kaoru had left them alone, even if he felt in over his head. Reki was still sobbing and shaking in his arms, but he was gradually getting better. Langa could feel hot tears sliding down his face, as well as the growing dampness against his shoulder, where Reki had tucked his head into.
“I’ve got you,” Langa just kept reminding him. “I’m not gonna let you deal with this alone anymore,” he murmurs, using a variation of the words his mother had told him when he had lost his dad.
Langa was a lot of things. He was dense. He missed cues. Sometimes, he made things worse when he didn’t mean to. This was one of those times, he figured.
Langa had apparently done a lot of damage fast without meaning to with this, even if he didn’t feel particularly at fault. Reki had always been good at deflecting. Now, it made sense why he was so good at deflecting. He had to be to stay safe. He took a deep breath, trying to get Reki’s breathing back under control. He just keeps him close, holding him on the grass of the yard. Eventually, Reki finished crying. It was clear that it had exhausted him. He pulls his head back, looking at him with eyes red and puffy from crying so hard. Langa held on to his face as gently as he could, hoping he wasn’t hurting him.
“I know about everything,” he tells Reki softly. “I’m sorry you felt like I wasn’t ready to hear it, but I am, Reki. I’m here to hear it all, and I promise you’re not going to go through that again, okay?” he told him as he looked at him. “I’m not going to let you ever believe that you deserved that or you’re not worth the effort,” Langa told him. “So now you have to decide where you want to be, and if you’re going to be honest with me. You put in the work on me after my dad died. I can put in the work now that your dad is in jail.” he told him.
Reki looks down at the grass beneath them. He doesn’t react for a bit. Langa figures that he can’t. It’s a lot to take in.
“I’m sorry that you had to deal with this. I’m sorry that you felt that you couldn’t talk to anyone,” Langa murmured. “You always do that though. You always pretend that you’re okay, when you’re not,” Langa admits.
Reki stared down at the hem of his sweats, cut off on one side because of the cast and loose on the other leg. They had been telling him this, sure, but did they really mean it? How much work were they really going to put in? Kojiro had already told him he was too much effort. He had explained that he wasn’t going to be able to help him. Reki feels another sob threaten to tear him apart, tugging at his sore and stretched muscles. He’s shaking as Langa holds on to him. Langa had wrapped his arm back around the other to support him, making sure he didn’t fall. He wants to talk, wants to drag his voice out, but he can’t. He slumps into the other, shaking his head. They didn’t get it.
“M too fu’ed up.” Reki gets out through the wires in his mouth. “I’m too-”
Reki .
Reki was too Reki. He goes to tug at the grass, and instead tugs at the other’s shirt, trying to calm himself down. He’s never going to be worth the effort, and he knows that. Langa, Miya, Kojiro and Kaoru were everything that he wasn’t. They deserved everything that he didn’t. He was better off just being a punching bag. Even when he tried to be good he was awful at what he did. Taking the hits for his family was the only bit of good he ever did with himself.
“You’re not,” Langa told him solidly. “Even if you were never able to skate again, I wouldn’t leave, Reki, and do you know why?” he asked him.
Reki didn’t respond. He didn’t know why. Hell, Langa could be with anyone, get attention from anyone. He had seen the people drooling over him at contests and events. He had seen how he was getting fawned over by women and men alike from around the world. Reki would never be good enough to be part of that. The realization left a hollow ache in his chest.
“Reki. I’ll tell you a million times if I have to, but I love you,” Langa reminds him, wrapping him up tight again.
Reki couldn’t stop the small voice in his head asking ‘for how long though?’
Reki didn’t realize he said it outloud, however, breaking Langa’s heart.