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~☆ 1 ☆~
The first time it happens, Jimin thinks it's an accident.
They're piled into a minivan and Jimin and Yoongi have ended up in the very back because they're the smallest. Jimin grumbles about it, but mostly just for show.
It's a long drive, and the conversation died off a little while ago. Most of the group are occupied with their own phones or music or games. Jimin is staring out the window, vaguely wondering if it's worth the hassle to dig his headphones out of his bag or if he just wants to mess around on his phone anyway.
Beside him, Yoongi's weight shifts ... and Yoongi's head sinks onto Jimin's shoulder.
“Hyung?” Jimin asks, and Hoseok - the closest other hyung, in the seat right in front - automatically glances behind.
Yoongi, on the other hand, doesn't react at all.
“Aigoo!” Hoseok grins. “He's asleep!”
Yoongi is limp against Jimin, his body soft against Jimin's side, and yeah, now Jimin could hear his softly rasping breath.
“He's gonna be so embarrassed when he wakes up!” Jimin whispers gleefully to Hoseok.
But he kinda wasn't.
~☆ 2 ☆~
The second time it happens, Jimin thinks his grumpy hyung is messing around.
They're in the practice room - when are they not? - and Hoseok's decided they get exactly 15 minutes before they run the choreo from the start. They're so close to getting it now. Hoseok has obviously had it for hours, Jimin and Jungkook have it, Yoongi has it now, Taehyung has it but just isn't getting the shapes Hoseok-level-perfect yet, Seokjin and Namjoon don't quite have it but during the chorus and bridge Hoseok has Seokjin shadowing Jungkook and Namjoon shadowing Jimin, and they're so close. So close now.
Hoseok’s just called the 15 minutes, and all seven of them just dropped to the ground where they happened to be standing.
Seokjin is almost close enough to the water bottles to reach them and is slowly laying himself out towards them. Namjoon is against one wall, Taehyung against another. Jungkook is splayed out like a starfish. Hoseok's leaning back against the steamed-up mirror. And Yoongi's right beside Jimin. In fact, Yoongi's head landed on Jimin's thigh when they both hit the ground.
Yoongi always goes down a little slow, a little cautious, so Jimin guesses he landed there deliberately.
“Hyung,” he whines, but he doesn't move his leg even a millimetre. “I'm too warm to be a pillow!”
Yoongi makes an inarticulate little grumbling noise.
Jimin sits back up with a groan, still not moving his leg cause even if his hyung is being a nuisance, he doesn't want to accidentally dislodge him and make him hit his head on the ground.
By the time he's sat up, Yoongi’s breathing has evened out. His pale, sweat-damp face is slack and soft, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. Jimin forgets his own exhaustion for a minute, starting to giggle.
“Oh my god!” he stage-whispers. “Suga-hyung fell asleep already!”
The others laugh and coo, and Hoseok even shuffles closer to take a look, giggling at how peaceful Yoongi seems.
“So lucky, Jimin-ah!” Taehyung teases. “It's like when a grumpy cat decides to come sleep on your lap!”
As Hoseok calls them back in, he nudges Yoongi gently with his foot. Yoongi stirs, groans, and drags himself back to his feet with a pout on his lips. He pats Jimin's arm absently as he passes him to take his starting position, and that's that.
~☆ 3 ☆~
The third time it happens, Jimin is starting to wonder if there's a pattern.
They're backstage, getting ready for a music show, but they've just been told there's some problem with the in-ears, and the performances will be delayed about twenty minutes.
The makeup and hair noonas have just finished with Jimin, and he's finished first so he claims the centre of the biggest couch, grinning cheekily at the other members as he does and getting rewarded with some mimed death threats from Taehyung and Jungkook.
Yoongi finishes next, and instead of claiming a place on the other couch, he makes directly for Jimin and shooes him over.
“Ayy hyung!” Jimin whines, but Yoongi just plonks himself down beside Jimin anyway.
“This couch is more comfy,” he says. “I'm napping on this couch and if you wanna be in the way, that's on you.”
And then he pulls his legs up and tucks his head down on Jimin's lap. Jimin isn't sure if he's supposed to object or not, or if he wants to object or not, and before he can figure that out, Yoongi’s gone limp and soft.
“Serves you right,” Seokjin laughs when he finishes and comes over. “You were greedy with the couch so now you have to share!”
Jimin doesn't actually mind, though.
~☆ ? ☆~
It's become a bit of a routine. If Jimin is more or less stationary, and Yoongi has the chance to fall asleep, chances are, he'll somehow end up using Jimin as a pillow.
Jimin keeps playfully complaining about it, but if Yoongi actually stopped, Jimin would honestly be devastated. He keeps the complaining as light as possible, to make sure he doesn't accidentally make Yoongi stop.
Today they're on set to film a music video. It's busy, controlled chaos, bright lights.
Jimin's watching when the crew film Yoongi's solo shots, and when Yoongi's finished, Jimin casually saunters to meet him.
“I was gonna sit down by the wall for a minute,” Jimin offers.
Yoongi just nods, but Jimin didn't expect him to feel chatty. He had been throwing himself across the set for the shoot, he needs to decompress. He needs to rest! And Jimin always wants to be helpful!
Jimin sits by the wall and Yoongi sits beside him.
The temptation to just tell Yoongi to go to sleep on him is huge, but Jimin wants to play it cool and casual. He just shuffles a little closer and thinks comfortable, pillowy thoughts.
Yoongi sighs softly, crossing his ankles and tucking his hands between his thighs ... and his head comes down on Jimin's shoulder.
Jimin beams.
When they get called back for group shots, Jimin gently squeezes Yoongi's thigh. Yoongi hums, and slowly lifts his head, stretching lazily before letting Jimin pull him to his feet. As usual, he doesn't say anything about it. But when he takes Jimin's hand to let Jimin pull him up, he does squeeze two little pulses before he lets go.
Jimin thinks about those gentle little pulses a lot, for the rest of the shoot.
~☆ ??? ☆~
It's become such a thing now that the other members have started to tease them about it. If Yoongi yawns during recording, Seokjin asks if he should fluff Jimin up and put him on the couch for Yoongi. If Jimin lies on the floor during dance practice, Taehyung pretends to guard him from Yoongi.
Yoongi has still never referred to it, and by this point, Jimin wonders if he ever will.
They're at the airport, boarding the plane to LA. Jimin was the last one down to the cars this morning and missed the discussion over seats, but he's not fussy. He's happy to sit beside any of his members.
Still, he feels a particular warmth when Yoongi sits into the seat next to him.
“Hi hyung,” Jimin smiles. “Lucky me!”
“Tch,” Yoongi answers. “Luck has nothing to do with it. I won two games of rock-paper-scissors to get this seat.”
Jimin laughs, slapping Yoongi lightly in the arm, utterly delighted at the idea of being fought over. Even if the fighting is just rock-paper-scissors. They take rock-paper-scissors very seriously!
“No way,” he says delightedly.
“It's true,” Yoongi says, settling in and buckling his belt. “Jungkook and Taehyung both challenged me for you. But I wanted it more.”
“Why?” Jimin can't resist asking, always hopeful for praise.
“So I can sleep on you,” Yoongi says casually, like he's been vocal about sleeping on Jimin the whole time.
And he does.
☆
~☆ ! ☆~
Jimin would say most of his days are hard, but good. Dancing for hours is hard, but he does love it. Working on improving his singing is hard, but worth it. Pushing through muscle aches is hard, but it doesn't get him down. Working long long hours is hard, but he loves working with his members so the time goes well.
But today isn't hard but good. Today is just shit.
He rolled his ankle and he can walk on it but it hurts. He's frustrated with how his voice sounds in rehearsals. He's hungry and tired and Hoseok said something sharply to him earlier and he almost cried.
At least they're back at the dorm now, and after Seokjin's home cooked dinner, Jimin mostly just feels exhausted rather than miserable.
Taehyung and Jungkook are corralling the others into watching a movie, but Jimin slips away and sneaks into the bedroom.
He's just climbing up on his bunk when something shuffles by his foot and he yelps.
“Jimin-ah?!”
“Hyung?!”
In the soft darkness of the bedroom, Jimin sees a Yoongi-shaped lump sit up in his bunk, under Jimin's. The shuffling noise had been Yoongi, in his bunk, shifting around.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi whispers.
“I--”
Jimin wants to just laugh it off. Tell Yoongi he got a fright cause he'd thought Yoongi was still out in the living room with the others. Breezily say he's just a bit tired and he wants to get an early night. Wish Yoongi goodnight like a nice polite dongsaeng.
Instead, he bursts into tears.
“Oh, Jimin-ah...” Yoongi says in his soft, rasping voice, and then his hands are wrapping around Jimin’s wrists and he’s pulling Jimin gently towards him.
“S-sorry!” Jimin sobs, barely audible, tears spilling down his cheeks.
“Aish aish, Jiminie...” Yoongi murmurs, gathering Jimin into his arms. He’s warm, and his hoodie is soft, and he smells a little like coffee and citrus. “You don't need to apologise. Just try to take deep breaths, okay?”
Jimin nods, his breath hitching as he tries to do as he's told. Yoongi rubs Jimin's back slowly, and lets him cry.
“Sorry,” he says again, wet and pathetic. “Sorry, hyung...”
“Stop, stop, stop!” Yoongi scolds gently, hugging Jimin tighter. “Hyung doesn't mind. If you need to cry, you can always cry here with hyung.”
That sets Jimin off again. He clings to Yoongi and cries hard, until he can catch his breath again.
“Don't apologise,” Yoongi warns when Jimin opens his mouth, and Jimin lets slip a damp little giggle at that, despite himself.
“Okay, hyung,” he says, his voice a little shot from crying.
“You wanna tell hyung what's wrong?”
“Oh... Nothing even specific,” Jimin answers, sinking down a little against Yoongi now that his tears are ebbing away. “I'm just... I'm just so frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated with my body, I'm so frustrated with my stupid body. I fucked up dancing, I fucked up singing, I fucked up--”
“Yah, yah!” Yoongi interrupts. “Jimin-ah, you don't need to be so hard on yourself!”
Jimin sighs deeply.
“You don't,” Yoongi insists, still rubbing Jimin's back gently. “I wish I could show you how I see you. An incredible dancer, a singer with a beautiful voice, a sweet dongsaeng, a hardworking member...”
“Ay hyung...” Jimin whines, but he's starting to smile, he can't help it.
“You know, I was reading about depression,” Yoongi says slowly, in his deliberate way. “And one of the techniques for improving how you talk to yourself is to... mmh, find something you can be proud of yourself for, even if everything else goes to shit, even if it's something tiny. Like, I'm the one who waters my plants and keeps them alive, or I'm the one who feeds my cat, or something like that.”
“I don't have any plants,” Jimin says plaintively. He feels so tired now, so very tired.
“Ah I know that,” Yoongi answers, and it sounds a little like he's suppressing a laugh. “I mean, maybe you can think of something you can be proud of about your body. Even if everything else goes to shit, even if it's something tiny.”
“Yeah...” Jimin says uncertainly. He wants that. “But... like what?”
“Well,” Yoongi says. He sounds shy. “I happen to think your thighs are the best pillow in the whole damn world. You could be proud of that.”
Jimin starts to laugh, giddy and delighted.
“Hyung!”
“I mean it!” Yoongi protests. “You're so comfortable. Seokjin-hyung gets stiff, Namjoonie is too warm, Taehyungie is all bones, Jungkookie cannot stay still for two consecutive seconds, and Hoseok coos and chatters and plays with my hair. But you're soft and warm and solid, and you don't wriggle away or distract me.”
Jimin thinks about that for a minute. His smile is getting bigger as he thinks. Yes. He can be proud of that. Even if everything else goes to shit, he has this one tiny thing.
“Thank you, hyung,” he whispers, nuzzling closer to Yoongi affectionately.
Yoongi uses that very slight amount of pressure to sink back down on his bunk and Jimin giggles as he finds himself on top of Yoongi.
“What’re you giggling at?” Yoongi grumbles softly.
“You assessed all the rest of us as pillows,” Jimin says, as he settles himself down on Yoongi, tucking his head down on Yoongi's shoulder. “Your turn.”
Yoongi huffs, but all he does is keep stroking Jimin's back slowly. Jimin closes his eyes and takes in Yoongi's warmth.
He sleeps.