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Darius glares at the coffee machine and pointedly ignores the alarm clock reading 2AM on the kitchen table.
Five days.
It’s been five whole days since they actually – really for real this time – got home and he still hasn’t actually been home. Instead the camp fam has been cooped up inside a hotel room that doesn’t even have a balcony. Two week quarantine, the government had decided, in case they picked up anything strange on either of the two dinosaur-ridden islands they’d been trapped on. Darius is pretty sure they just want time to figure out how to spin the media story to downplay the fact they missed a whole ass illegal dna-testing island and left six kids on nublar for six months. But hey that’s just-
That’s just the reason he’s barely had slept in five days.
Darius sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, and turning to grab a mug for his brewing coffee. And almost immediately drops it as the door to the kitchen opens.
“I think that’s a sign you shouldn’t have more coffee.” Yaz comments, leaning against the now open door frame. Darius forces a laugh, picking up the now chipped mug from the ground.
“Guess I’m still not used to the lack of dinosaurs.” He says. “What, uh, what are you doing up?”
“What are you doing up?” Yaz turns the question around. Darius frowns and turns back to the coffee pot instead of answering. “Nightmares?” Yaz guesses and Darius shrugs. “It’s not a bad thing, you know, we all get them.”
“I know.” Darius says, sharper than he means too. He clears his throat. “I’m fine Yaz, it’s no big deal.”
“Darius, you’re shaking so much I don’t think you can pour that cup of coffee.” Yaz points out. She’s not wrong, though that doesn’t make Darius feel any better when he tries to pick up the coffee point. “I came out to make some warm milk if you want some, it’ll make it easier to fall asleep.”
“I don’t want to fall asleep.” Darius argues and winces when that makes Yaz’s glance turn sympathetic. Darius grits his teeth and focuses on pouring his coffee without spilling any.
“It’s okay to be having nightmares Darius. We all get them.” Yaz tries again. “Tonight it was about a track meet except I was racing the Scorpius Rex. Kenji dreams about sharing a plane seat with the s-”
“I don’t have nightmares about dinosaurs!” Darius finally snaps and then shouts in pain when he spills half his coffee over his hand and the bench. Cursing, Darius tries not to look Yaz as he steps towards the sink.
“What do you mean you don’t have nightmares about dinosaurs?” Yaz asks, confused and frowning as she watches Darius cool the burn. “What else would you have nightmares about?” Darius doesn’t answer right away. He runs cold water over his hand and pretends the mild burn is bothering him a lot more then it is. “Darius?” Yaz prompts, shutting off the water when he takes too long.
“I have nightmares about people.” Darius finally admits, still staring at his hand instead of looking at Yaz.
“People?” Yaz repeats like it’s the most insane thing she’s ever heard. Well, maybe she doesn’t say it that dramatically but that what Darius hears. Frown quickly becoming a scowl, he turns to lean against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. He still doesn’t look at her.
“Look, I get it, you guys have nightmares about dinosaurs. And part of it’s my fault. I know that. I know I’m the odd one out there.” Darius mutters trying – and failing – not to sound as bitter as he feels about his part in his friends suffering.
“It wasn’t your fault. We all agreed to help the dinosaurs, everytime.” Yaz argues. It’s the thousandth time someones said it. Darius doesn’t believe it anymore than he did the first time. “But doesn’t it… doesn’t any of the stuff we’ve done bother you? He running? The teeth?”
“No, not really.” Darius says honestly. “They’re just… they’re dinosaurs, you know? They’re not trying to murder us. They’re not that self-aware.”
“The Scorpius Rex seemed pretty self-aware.” Yaz mutters.
“But it wasn’t.” Darius claims. “It was just a dinosaur. Cash though, Cash was well aware of what he was doing.”
Is that who you have nightmares about?” Yaz asks and Darius shrugs.
“I have nightmares about most of the people we meet over the last six months.” He says. “But it’s mostly Cash.”
“I can’t imagine what you went through while you were stuck with him.” Yaz says softly, she reaches towards him and Darius flinches.
“Sorry.” He mumbles.
“Don’t be.” Yaz says. “It’s a normal reaction.”
“Is it?” Darius asked, finally turning to look at Yaz and hating the look in her eyes. Logically, he knows she doesn’t think he’s lesser for this. Weaker. Emotionally, he doesn’t. “None of the rest of you are felling like this.” He points out. “Everyone else has nightmares about dinosaurs.”
“No one else did the group thinking Darius.” Yaz argues. “You were the one stuck with Cash, you were the one that tricked Mitch and Tiff.”
“Brooklyn was the one stuck with Wu.” Darius argues. “And Kenji’s dad left him to die.”
“And have you talked to them?” Yaz asks. Darius hasn’t. “Maybe they have nightmares too.”
“They haven’t mentioned any.” He mumbles, even though he knows it’s not a very good argument.
“Neither did you.” Yaz points out. “Talk to them, okay? Maybe it’ll help. Laying off the coffee definitely will.” She gestures to the spilt coffee with her eyes and Darius chuckles.
“Yeah, that probably wasn’t helping.” He admits. “I just…”
“Wanted to avoid the nightmares?” Yaz guesses.
“Yeah.” Darius says, rubbing the back of his neck. He takes a deep breath. Yaz doesn’t think he’s weak, doesn’t think he’s weird. Why has he been so paranoid about this? Probably at least partly the coffee.
“You might not be having nightmares about dinosaurs, but it’s really not all that different.” Yaz says, bumping shoulders. “How about you clean up the coffee and I’ll heat up some milk, yeah?”
“Yeah, okay. That’ll be good.”