Chapter Text
The weeks leading up to the swim team’s departure for their Olympic training camp in Greece are among the most grueling of Seungmin’s life. Each day blurs into the next, a relentless marathon of training designed to push the absolute limits of his physical and mental endurance. Hard training weeks are nothing new to Seungmin; he’s weathered countless tough sessions before. But this time, it’s different. It’s for the Olympics.
The preparation process for the Games is notoriously complex and intricate. For Seungmin, the challenge of tapering for the Trials, followed by an immediate buildup of yardage, and then re-tapering for the Olympics is a delicate and exacting science. Every Olympic swimmer faces this tricky balancing act, but for Seungmin, it’s uncharted territory. He’s never had to double taper before—never had to manage this kind of intricate training plan. Most of the seasoned Olympians have navigated these waters before, but for Seungmin, it’s a steep learning curve.
He’s uncertain how his body will respond to the rigorous demands of this new regimen. In a desperate bid to prepare himself, he’s been cramming in as many practices as possible with his coach, determined to perfect every stroke, refine every turn, and achieve every time goal before he boards the plane with the rest of Korea’s swim team. His days are filled with long dryland workouts, intense sessions in the pool, and hours of stretching and mental conditioning.
He’s stressed. The pressure is palpable and unrelenting. It’s not just the expectations from his family and coaches or the looming races that weigh heavily on him. Seungmin’s competitive streak has evolved into an all-consuming obsession. He wants to do better, be better, and actually prove himself as a swimmer finally out of Lee Minho’s shadow.
On top of the pressure he’s putting on himself, there’s an expectation for Korea to win gold at the Olympics in the 400 freestyle. That pressure used to rest firmly on Minho’s shoulders, but now Seungmin has had to pick up the weight.
Minho, with his impeccable technique and steady performance, has always been the standard against which Seungmin measured himself. But now, Minho looms larger and more imposing. Some part of Seungmin wants the rest of the world to see him as they see Minho and a gold medal will prove that. Another part of him buried deep, deep down inside of him but bigger and more demanding, wants Minho to see Seungmin as someone worth racing, worth respecting.
Jeongin is worried about him. Every time Jeongin arrives at the gym or pool and finds Seungmin already there, lifting weights or pushing himself through drills, the worry in Jeongin’s eyes is unmistakable. Seungmin tries to ignore the concern in Jeongin’s gaze, brushing it off as a natural response from a friend, but it doesn’t escape him that Jeongin’s worry is probably a little more than just casual concern. Jeongin is the person who’s seen Seungmin train throughout his entire career, for junior nationals, nationals, the pro circuit, and Worlds. He knows this is uncharacteristic for Seungmin.
Still, Seungmin expects Jeongin to let it go. They’re training for the Olympics, and everything is different. This is the pinnacle of their careers, and Seungmin feels compelled to push himself beyond the limits he’s known. Jeongin, as a friend, should understand the intensity of the situation, but the reality is that Jeongin is worried for his well-being. Seungmin should’ve known better.
One evening, after an exhausting late-night session, Seungmin returns to their dimly lit shared apartment. The sight of Jeongin waiting in the living room bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp, makes Seungmin snort despite his fatigue. In his exhausted state, Jeongin looks like an evil authority figure from one of the trashy mafia movies they used to binge-watch in university, and Seungmin can’t help but laugh.
Jeongin gives him a puzzled look before his expression shifts to one of serious concern. He takes a deep breath, clearly preparing for a difficult conversation. Seungmin closes his eyes, bracing himself for what he knows is coming.
“Seungmin,” Jeongin begins, his voice hesitant. “What the hell are you doing?”
Seungmin drops his bag by the door, his shoulders sagging slightly under the weight of his best friend’s stare.
“I’m just getting in a little bit of extra training before we start to taper at training camp.”
“Hyung, this is more than just a little bit of extra training. You’re killing yourself and you’re going to burn out before we even get to Greece, much less to the Olympics.”
Seungmin looks away, frustrated and guilty. He knows Jeongin is right, but he can’t figure out how to explain that he needs to do this. He wants to represent his country well, of course, but he also wants to prove himself as a swimmer outside of just the athlete always one podium step below Minho.
“I just–” Seungmin pauses, scrambling for the right words. “I want to swim well. I want to win and I want to beat Minho. He’s not even competing directly against me, and yet I still feel like I’m always one step behind. This is the first time I can be first and I don’t want to ruin it. I want to win for Korea, but also for me .”
Jeongin sighs, exasperated.
“Hyung, you aren’t even going to make it to Paris at this rate. You aren’t going to be winning anything if you’re running on empty.”
“I know,” Seungmin says quietly, before continuing in a smaller voice. “It’s just that sometimes it just feels like if I stop for even a moment, everything will slip away.”
Jeongin stands up and makes his way over to where Seungmin is still frozen in their doorway, his demeanor softening.
“Silly hyung,” he says, flicking Seungmin’s forehead. He leans down to pick up Seungmin’s gear bag and hangs it up on a hook. “Weren’t you the one who told me to trust my training at Trials? I probably won’t be your roommate at training camp or the Olympics, so you have to take care of yourself before I sic a babysitter on you.”
“Hey!” Seungmin protests, when he realizes what Jeongin is saying. “I’m supposed to be the hyung here!”
“Not when you’re acting like this,” Jeongin retorts, giggling as he makes a dash for his bedroom. Seungmin lunges after him, but Jeongin is too quick, slipping through the door just in time. Over his shoulder, he calls one last instruction, his tone light and teasing. “Make sure to eat dinner!”
Seungmin angrily makes himself some pasta, following the ever-loved swimming tradition of carbo-loading. As annoying as he is, Jeongin has a point, but he also doesn’t understand the position Seungmin is in right now. Minho was supposed to win gold in the 400 free and Seungmin was supposed to be happy to even make finals. The whole country is counting on Seungmin medaling now. He trusts his training, but he needs more of it if he’s going to win. He can’t let up on training and he has to get better. He has to be better.
The day of departure for the Olympic training camp in Greece dawns clear and bright. The air is thick with a mix of nerves and energy as the swim team assembles at the airport. The sun shines brightly, casting a golden hue over the bustling scene and although Seungmin himself is excited, he can’t help but smile wider when he looks to see Jeongin practically bouncing where he’s standing.
“Are you excited or just really caffeinated?” Seungmin teases, nudging Jeongin, who barely hears him over the sound of his own excitement.
“I’m excited!” Jeongin replies, his eyes sparkling. “This is going to be amazing. I didn’t think I’d ever actually get here and I’m a little in shock that it’s actually happening.”
Both boys had stayed up a little too late the night before, obsessively checking their packing lists and trying to manage their nerves. Jeongin had spent hours rearranging his gear to make it all fit in his one allocated suitcase, while Seungmin had really debated the benefits of only packing one outfit and one training suit and dedicating the rest of his suitcase space to his coffee machine. What if he didn’t like the coffee provided at the training facility or the Olympic Village and he swam poorly because he didn’t have his daily dose of caffeine? These are the things Olympians have to think about, he had mused to himself.
As they move through the check-in and security process, the coach finally gathers the team in front of the gate. Everyone huddles around, the murmurs of the other athletes quieting for the first time since they had arrived at the airport.
“Alright, everyone. Quick announcement,” the coach starts, holding up a stack of boarding passes. “We’ve finalized the roommate arrangements. Your roommate for training camp and the Olympics will be the same, and we’ve organized the seating on the plane and any bus rides accordingly. Get comfortable with them, as they’ll be your travel buddy for the next few weeks.”
At that, Seungmin whips his head around to waggle his eyebrows at Jeongin, who looks equally excited and slightly flustered when he notices Hyunjin is looking at him. The coach starts listing pairs and handing out boarding passes. Seungmin barely processes the names until he hears his own: “Seungmin and Minho.” His heart skips a beat.
He exchanges a glance with Minho, who raises an eyebrow in acknowledgment. The air between them feels charged. There’s a tense moment before both of them force smiles, trying to mask their unease.
Jeongin’s name is announced next, paired with Hyunjin. Hyunjin bounds over to Jeongin, pulling him into a hug.
“Looks like we’re roomies!” Hyunjin exclaims with a grin.
Jeongin giggles, slightly embarrassed but clearly thrilled and Seungmin shoots a not-at-all subtle thumbs up to his friend.
“Good luck with that,” Seungmin whispers to Jeongin, who rolls his eyes in return.
As Seungmin approaches Minho, he tries to keep things light. “Hey roomie,” Seungmin says casually. “Are you going to let me sleep on an actual bed this time?”
Minho smirks, but it fades as his eyes scan over Seungmin’s body.
“Aw Seungminnie, you can’t keep living in the past” he replies. “But I’ll do my best to be on my best behavior if you stay out of my way.”
They board the plane with no issues and Seungmin falls into his assigned window seat happily. Minho settles next to him in the middle seat, much less happily.
The airplane interior is dimly lit, with soft hums of the engines filling the cabin, and Seungmin, feeling the effects of pushing himself too hard for the past few weeks in practice, is barely awake and fighting to stay alert during the safety demonstration. His head lolls against the window, exhaustion weighing him down. The one thing keeping Seungmin from falling asleep before the plane even departs is watching the scene in the row across from him unfold.
Jeongin and Hyunjin have settled into their own seats, and Seungmin can’t help but notice the way Jeongin’s eyes follow Hyunjin with unabashed admiration. The two are chatting animatedly, and it’s clear that Jeongin’s crush on Hyunjin is as apparent as ever. Jeongin’s face lights up whenever Hyunjin speaks, and it’s a bit comical to see him so obviously smitten. Hyunjin, for his part, looks like he’s been given the sun as a gift every time Jeongin laughs at a joke. The whole scene is both endearing and amusing to Seungmin.
Minho, seated next to him, does not seem as happy and carefree as the two breaststrokers. He grips the armrests tightly, his knuckles white. His gaze is fixed on the safety card, and he seems to be taking the instructions more seriously than anyone Seungmin has ever seen.
Noticing Minho’s anxiety, Seungmin throws Minho’s instructions to leave him alone out the window to be shredded in the plane’s engine. He nudges Minho gently.
“You okay there? You look like you’re about to squeeze the armrest in half.”
Minho forces a grimace, eyes darting nervously around.
“Mind your own fucking business, Kim Seungmin.”
Seungmin raises an eyebrow at the full-name treatment. Clearly, Minho must really be scared.
“My sister hates flying too,” Seungmin says, trying to lighten the mood. “I was just going to offer to try and distract you or something. Sorry for bothering you.”
With that, Seungmin starts fishing in his carry-on for his headphones, planning to put on some music and pass out until their plane lands in Greece. However, as he’s rummaging, the plane starts preparing for departure, the engines revving, and Seungmin hears Minho’s breathing quicken.
When the plane begins to speed down the runway, Minho’s hand shoots out to clutch Seungmin’s forearm.
“Talk,” Minho demands through gritted teeth, his voice edged with panic.
Seungmin, taken aback, puts his headphones away and leans in closer. “Alright, alright. Let’s talk. What do you want to hear about?”
Minho’s grip tightens slightly as the plane lifts off the ground, his eyes wide.
“Anything. Just keep talking.”
Seungmin takes a deep breath and starts to talk, using the voice he would use to talk to the stray dogs he used to cross when walking across his university campus from the pool to his morning classes.
“Okay, well, did I ever tell you about the time I tried to bake cookies for my club team in high school when I was captain? They came out so badly that they were practically inedible. We ended up ordering pizza instead, and it became this running joke for weeks. I’m actually a pretty good cook, but baking is just not my area of expertise.”
Minho laughs softly, the sound trembling with nerves.
“I don’t think I can imagine you cooking anything edible.”
Seungmin smiles.
“It’s probably for the best. I think I’ll stick to training and leave the baking to someone else. I swam against this Australian once who brought brownies for all the competitors and they were amazing. I hope he makes the Australian team and brings them to the Olympics. Speaking of the Olympics, did you hear about the new training drills we’re supposed to start? They sound brutal.”
Minho listens, his breathing slowly evening out as Seungmin talks.
“Yeah, I heard. If they make us do fishburns more than once this week, I’m giving up my spot on this team.”
As Seungmin continues to talk, his own exhaustion starts to catch up with him. His words begin to flow more softly, and his head starts to droop. Minho’s arm, still gripping Seungmin’s forearm, feels warm and reassuring.
Seungmin’s eyelids grow heavier, and despite his efforts to stay awake, he slowly succumbs to sleep, his head knocking against the window whenever they hit turbulence, but he’s too tired to care.
He sleeps the entire flight to Greece and only wakes up when the interior cabin lights flicker back to full brightness. His neck doesn’t hurt as much as he thought it would and, when he opens his eyes, he sees why.
Somehow, his head has migrated from the window to be pillowed on Minho’s shoulder. Minho is also asleep and, strangely, Minho’s arm is slung around Seungmin’s shoulder, preventing Seungmin from slipping in his sleep and winding up in an uncomfortable position.
Minho jolts awake when Seungmin moves and he quickly retracts his arm. Neither of them says anything to each other as they deboard the plane and get settled into their room at the training facility.
How weird, Seungmin thinks to himself, before banishing the event from his mind and focusing on their upcoming training schedule.
Training camp begins in earnest, and Seungmin throws himself into the grueling schedule with the kind of relentless intensity that had earned him his place here in the first place. Early morning practices bleed into dryland sessions, which transition into outside runs, leading him back to long afternoon workouts in the pool. The cycle is relentless, leaving him utterly exhausted.
As the days progress, Seungmin’s routine becomes increasingly isolated. He starts skipping meals to fit in extra workouts. He avoids his room to not impose on Minho, opting to study training materials in uncomfortable chairs in quiet corners of the facility or take solitary runs around the nearby park. Whatever tentative peace they had established on the airplane had vanished as soon as Minho had both feet on the solid ground and their room had been filled with a stony silence the entirety of training camp.
Jeongin, preoccupied with Hyunjin, doesn’t seem to notice whatever Seungmin is doing and Seungmin can’t fault his friend for focusing on himself, after all, he did say he wouldn’t babysit Seungmin. This is Jeongin’s first big meet, his first time representing his country and it’s on the biggest stage. Seungmin is just happy it looks like Hyunjin is taking care of Jeongin. Every time Seunmin passes them in the hallway of the training facility they’ve rented for the week, they’re laughing and smiling.
Seungmin hasn’t even been seeing any of his friends at practices, as the team has been divided into stroke groups for workouts, leaving Seungmin with Minho in the freestyle group while everyone else trains with their stroke.
Seungmin has always been good at sneaking around and, now that anyone who knows how prone Seungmin is to overworking when he’s stressed is otherwise occupied, there’s really no one to make sure Seungmin is sleeping or eating enough. No one other than Minho, but Seungmin can’t imagine that he would care about Seungmin.
And anyway, Seungmin rationalizes to himself, he’s only doing what a good athlete should do.
Even still, Seungmin has noticed that Minho has still been awake the past few nights he’s crept into their room after a post-practice run. Seungmin would apologize, but Minho hasn’t complained and he doesn’t really want to bring anyone’s attention to how much extra practice he’d been doing.
One night, after an especially grueling training session, Seungmin heads to the hotel’s ice bath to cool down. It’s the wrong side of midnight and Seungmin is exhausted. The room is cold and starkly lit, the hum of the air conditioning a constant backdrop. He’s nearly startled when Minho finds him there, looking concerned and a bit annoyed, but he can’t find the energy in his body to be shocked. He’s too tired.
“Seungmin, what are you doing?” Minho’s sharp voice cuts through the silence. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep this up.”
“What do you even care, Minho?” Seungmin asks, sliding further under the water and hissing when his ribs go numb from the cold. His voice comes out meaner than he intended, but he can’t find it in himself to care. Minho has been meaner to him before, this is really just karma. “I’m just trying to get ahead of your fucking record and actually bring a medal home for Korea because your dumb ass DQ’d in the 400 free.”
Minho’s face lights up bright red at Seungmin’s words and he looks like he’s about to start a fight Seungmin doesn’t think he has the energy to finish, before Minho takes a deep breath, calms down, pulls off his shirt, and slides into the ice bath next to Seungmin in his basketball shorts.
Seungmin does his very best not to stare, but he can’t draw his eyes away from Minho when he starts talking.
“I get that. But pushing yourself to this extent isn’t going to help. Trust me, I’ve been there,” Minho says.
“Again,” Seungmin starts, “Why do you care? You’ve never been nice to me before. I don’t know why you’ve decided to start caring now.”
Minho sighs and scoots closer to Seungmin in the water, pressing their shoulders together. Seungmin gasps when he feels Minho's warm skin, a sharp contrast to the ice they’re both currently submerged in.
“I was stupid when I was younger,” Minho starts explaining. “My parents weren’t pleased with my decision to pursue athletics. They wanted me to be someone respectable, like a doctor or a lawyer. They didn’t support me at all before I got to a point where I could make money to send home to them. I had to work two jobs while training just to make ends meet. I saw you getting to train full-time and resented it. I was mad that you got to a school and focus on swimming. I was mad your parents flew to wherever our meets were to watch you compete. I was mad that you got to go to university and I had to go pro instead to send my parents money. It was never about you. I was jealous of the support you had, and of the opportunities you got. It was always about me being stupid.”
Seungmin listens to Minho and, even though he wants to believe him, believe that Minho doesn’t actually hate him, he still has a question.
“What about at Trials, then? This year and four years ago? You splashed me with water on national television!”
Minho blushes.
“It still wasn’t about you this year. It was more about my own frustrations. Seeing you with your family at the trials just made me feel more angry. My parents didn’t even bother to show up and sent me a thumbs-up message after my DQ. It made me angrier, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry for that.”
“And last Trials?” Seungmin prompts and Minho groans, covering his face with his hands.
“You’re a good swimmer, Seungmin,” Minho states. “I like racing you and I think it makes me faster. I was aiming for playful teasing and I thought you still had your goggles on. I’m sorry about that, too.”
“I thought you just hated me. And I’m sorry you went through that. You’ve achieved a lot, even with everything stacked against you, which makes you all the more impressive,” Seungmin says, before lowering his voice and speaking shyly. “I’ve always really liked racing you too.”
Minho smiles, his broad shoulder curling as he laughs.
“Seungminnie likes hyung,” Minho singsongs and Seungmin is so humiliated he almost wishes Minho was yelling mean things at him again. Almost. Because this is actually the best outcome of any conversation he ever thought the two of them would have.
Minho isn’t done with his lecture, however.
“I get why you want to push yourself. I know how much this means to you and how much pressure everyone has put on you and I didn’t make it any better by taunting you at the dinner after Trials. But you have to remember that being at your best isn’t just about physical strength. It’s about mental clarity, too, and you need to give yourself time to recover and recharge. Otherwise, you’re going to hit a wall and swim worse than you did at Worlds this year.”
Seungmin looks away at the mention of his Worlds performance, his frustration palpable.
“But what if I’m not enough? What if all this effort still isn’t enough? What if I’m always supposed to be worse than you no matter what I do?”
Minho knocks his shoulder against Seungmin’s.
“Don’t let fear drive you to the point where it compromises everything you’ve worked for,” Minho says seriously before his tone lightens. “Plus, I don’t think there’s anyone else in the world working harder than you for this or anyone else who can come close to my record.”
Seungmin smiles tiredly and lets his head fall to rest against the lip of the pool.
The two of them sit in comfortable silence for a while longer, slowly letting the ice bath warm up and heal their muscles, until Seungmin starts shivering and his eyes start dropping, his head beginning to nod as he falls asleep.
Minho claps his hands, startling Seungmin awake, and helps Seungmin out of the ice bath.
“You need to rest,” Minho insists, wrapping Seungmin in a towel, before guiding Seungmin back to their room. “No more pushing yourself too hard.”
Seungmin, too exhausted to argue, follows Minho without complaint. When they reach their room, Minho directs Seungmin to Minho’s bed instead of his own.
“You’re not getting up early to train. Not if I can help it.”
Seungmin freezes.
“What?”
“I don’t want you to sneak out of bed before we have practice,” Minho explains to Seungmin as if this whole situation isn’t insane.
“What?” Seungmin repeats, having more than a little trouble processing what is happening.
“I don’t trust you to stop running yourself into the ground. Like you said, you’re Korea’s best shot at a medal in the 400 free. I don’t want you to wear yourself out before the Olympics. I’m simply doing my national duty to keep you in top-performance shape. So get in bed.”
Seungmin stares at Minho’s bed, unmoving.
“Oh my god, Seungminnie,” Minho groans, sitting on the bed, before reaching out and wrapping his hands around Seungmin’s wrists. His hands are small, Seungmin notes absently before every conscious thought is forced from his mind when Minho pulls hard and Seungmin collapses into Minho’s bed. On top of Minho.
Seungmin’s face flushes, but Minho doesn’t seem bothered, instead wrapping his arms around Seungmin’s body and arranging their bodies under the covers.
“Turn the light off, Seungminnie,” Minho demands and Seungmin can’t do anything but obey.
Minho settles next to him, ensuring he’s comfortable Seungmin finds himself lulled into a deep sleep, Minho’s arms still around him, their legs tangled together.
When he wakes up in the morning, it’s the first time he’s felt rested since before Trials.
He actually feels prepared for Paris.