Chapter Text
"You're home late, babe."
"I've had a hell of a day. I broke the law tonight." Natalie announced, throwing her purse onto a chair in the living room.
"Again? It's a good thing you look good in orange." Joe joked from the kitchen island where he was working on his laptop. "Where's the body that we have to hide?"
Natalie didn't respond, instead sinking down into the couch, her eyes fixed on the wall in front of her. Joe looked away from his computer at her and noticed how her shoulders slumped in exhaustion and that her skin had a slight ashen tone to it.
"Okay, I was kidding, but now you're scaring me, Nat." Joe got up and started toward the living room, stopping at the fridge for a bottle of water that he handed to Natalie as he sat down next to her. "You're not okay. Do you want to talk about it?"
"I broke several laws tonight." Natalie ticked off the list on her fingers. "I committed medical fraud, health insurance fraud, prescription fraud, obtained an illegal abortion, probably some others that I don't even know about…"
"Wait, what?" Joe's heart sank. "An abortion?"
Natalie sighed and opened her bottle of water, taking a drink that felt eternal to Joe before she continued. "I got the abortion pill for a detainee who was raped coming into this country."
Joe let out a slow breath of relief, silently thanking God that she hadn't somehow gotten pregnant and aborted his child. "How did you do that?"
"I lied to the doctor and said it was for me, but she knew what I was doing. She's been controlling my cycles and taking pictures of my uterus and ovaries for months. She knew I couldn't be nine weeks pregnant."
"Right, that makes sense."
"She tried to induce a miscarriage with some voodoo potion of kitchen herbs or something, but it didn't work." Natalie's tone turned angry. "She shouldn't have to give birth to her rapist's child. How fucked is it that the U.S. government cares about the fetus and not her? And they won't give a shit about the baby either once its born."
"You're completely right." Joe agreed.
"I just couldn't let that happen to her when I'm a privileged white woman who has access to the right to choose… So I helped her."
"You did the right thing, Nat."
"I just hope I don't end up in jail for it. I'm not sure I can handle that level of karma."
Natalie laid her head in Joe's lap. They sat in silence for several minutes with Joe stroking Natalie's hair lightly before she finally spoke again.
"I can't get pregnant." Natalie whispered.
Joe knew that all of the hormone injections and negative pregnancy tests were taking their toll on Natalie. When she thought he couldn't hear her, she cried in the shower; but he could hear her, and it killed him that he couldn't just get her pregnant and give her what she wanted naturally.
"I know it seems that way, Natalie, and I know we've been trying for a while, but maybe if we just give it some more time…"
"That's not what I mean." Natalie rubbed her face with one hand. Joe saw tears shining in her eyes. "I can't intentionally make and bring a new child into this world when there are so many children in shit situations. I saw babies in court today. Actual babies."
Joe let out a soft sigh and gently brushed a hand across her cheek. "So, what are you saying?"
"I still want to be a mother, but… Can you love a child that doesn't biologically come from either one of us?" Natalie looked up, her dark, tear-filled eyes fixing on his face.
"Some people would probably consider that a plus, if we didn't actually procreate together." Joe joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm serious. Could you love an adopted child? Not a baby… Maybe a little older."
Joe thought back to more than two decades before, when he had accepted the role of father in Lisa's daughter's life. He'd shared only bits and pieces of that history with Natalie because the sting of the loss still pained him. Even though the baby wasn't his, even though she belonged to his best friend, he couldn't have loved Riley more if she'd been his own. He'd worked his ass off every day to provide and create a life for them, until Lisa had made it disappear on a moment's notice, like nothing had ever happened.
He knew Natalie would never do that to him. There were perks to the idea. He wouldn't have to deal with an (even more) hormonal and pregnant Natalie. With her age, even if she was able to conceive, there were some concerns about her being able to carry and give birth to a healthy baby. They could skip the sleepless newborn stage that he remembered all to well with Riley entirely.
"Absolutely, babe." Joe bent and pressed his lips to her forehead. "When you're ready… Let's do it."