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A Fundamental Truth... Undermined

Summary:

Batman is scary. That's a fact. One everyone knows. The Justice League knows it, the internet knows it, the world knows it.

It's a fundamental truth; the sky is blue, grass is green, Batman's scary.

So why the hell do kids like him so much.

Notes:

possibly ooc and i do not care

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Batman is scary. That's a fact. One everyone knows. The Justice League knows it, the internet knows it, the world knows it. 

He's a hulking figure clad in black, over six feet tall and looms like he's taller. He hides in the shadows, and you'll never know he's there unless he wants you to. Not even those with super senses beat his stealth skills. He's feared by all, just the sight of him will make criminals give up, they'll turn themselves in just to escape him, anything to avoid him. 

Batman is terrifying to all, and that's just the way it is.

It's a fundamental truth; the sky is blue, grass is green, Batman's scary.

So why the hell do kids like him so much.


The first time it happened, the Justice League had only been together for a year, and it was their first big mission together. There had been a low-scale alien invasion, which they'd handled easily, and were sticking around to help with cleanup. 

Barry was running around, checking buildings for anyone they'd missed in the initial evacuation. It had been rushed, so Batman ordered them to do another sweep now the battle is over, and they aren't up against the clock, with a couple hundred aliens bearing down on them. 

He's nearly done when he hears a faint crying. He finds the source quickly, a young girl, about six or seven. She's curled up under her bed, trembling in fear, and Barry's heart breaks when he sees that she's biting down on her fist to try and not make any noise, probably terrified the aliens would find her. Her eyes go wide when she sees him, and she slowly crawls out from under the bed, but makes sure not to actually go anywhere near him. 

He smiles at her as reassuringly as he can, then says, "I'll be right back, okay?" Then speeds off to complete his check, and is back in two seconds. She's the only straggler. "How about we go find your parents, huh?" He suggests. She nods, warily, but flinches back when he offers a hand to her. He immediately holds his hands up in surrender, making it clear he isn't going to touch her and she relaxes minutely, then leads him out.

"Flash, have you finished your check?" Superman checks in his ear, and he nods automatically, then facepalms. 

"Sure have. I got one girl, probably six or seven, coming out with her now."

"Is she hurt?" Wonder Woman asks, sounding worried. It's not hard to see how much she cares about children, her eyes light up whenever they pass them at an event, and is always first in line to be handed babies by random civilians. Barry will never understand why they do that, but it makes them and her happy, so who's he to judge. 

"She won't let me get close enough to check," he tells them, and the line is quiet for a moment.

Then, "I'll meet you guys outside," Superman says. Probably the right choice, kids love him. Everyone does, really. 

They don't speak again until they're outside, the girl never getting any closer to him than two feet, shooting nervous glances back at him every once in a while, checking if he's still there. He can't tell if she wants him to be or not, so just offers a kind smile whenever she does, not that it seems to make a difference. 

When they get outside, Supes isn't there yet, so Barry gently directs the girl towards where they've set up a centre that provides medical care and helps reconnect families, hoping that's where her parents will be. 

Superman floats down to meet them a few minutes into the walk, Wonder Woman not far behind him. He crouches in front of the little girl, smiling. "Hello, what's your name?" She bursts into tears and scrambles away from him, looking scared. He, in turn, looks startled, like this has never happened to him before, and Wonder Woman takes over. She doesn't get any closer, but holds out a hand in an invitation to hold it as she speaks. 

"It's okay, little one, we won't hurt you. The aliens are gone, it's okay." She moves even further away from them, and the heroes trade confused looks. This is not the typical reaction they get, and none of them really know what to do. 

Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter arrive then, and Barry thinks for a moment that they might be their salvation, but then the kid looks at them and starts screaming, a painful wailing filled with raw terror. 

"What is going on?" Batman growls, appearing out of nowhere. Barry jumps, and he's not the only one. How did he even do that, there's no shadows here for him to hide in. He's standing about a foot away from the girl, and she goes silent. Barry feels bad for her. Sure, they weren't helping much, but Batman had literally scared her into silence, which has got to be worse. 

"Batman, maybe you should go," Superman suggests, looking at the girl with a furrowed brow. "We don't want to make this worse." Barry's impressed, it takes some guts to insult Batman to his face like that. In a roundabout way, sure, but an insult all the same.

"Because you're doing such a good job so far," he scoffs. Lantern makes a strangled noise behind them, and Barry is inclined to agree. Did Batman just use sarcasm? Superman looks affronted, which Barry also agrees with, because, sure they weren't doing a very good job, but he made it worse. 

Batman crouches down, and the girl watches him with wide, fearful eyes. "Hello," he rumbles. His voice is as deep as it always is, but softer in a way, gentler almost. Barry didn't know it could do that. "What's your name?"

"Jemma," she whispers, and then he unprecedented happens. Batman smiles. It's small, a tiny uptick at the corners of his mouth, but it's there, and Lantern is making another weird noise, so he's definitely not imagining it. 

"That's a pretty name." Jemma nods and seems to relax slightly, swinging from side to side shyly. 

"My mummy picked it," she tells him proudly, then frowns, looking around. 

"Did she now? And where is she?" Batman asks, and Barry's mouth drops open in shock. He's getting her to open up so easily! How? How is Batman better at this than Superman?

"I don't know!" Jemma yells, and her lip starts to wobble. "Where is she?"

"I don't know either," Batman tells her. "Do you want to help me look for her?"

"Her and Daddy."

"Mummy and Daddy," he confirms, then stands back up, and holds out a gauntlet-clad hand to her. She looks at it, then at his cowl, then lifts up both her arms. Batman just looks at her for a second, then bends back down and swings her into his arms. She squeals happily as he tosses her briefly into the air, then catches her again and sits her on his hip with the practice of a man who's done it a hundred times before.

He walks off, and Jemma sits happily in his grip, fiddling with his cape as it swings around them.

Barry feels frozen by shock, just staring after Batman as he walks off with the girl. "What the fuck?" Lantern says, and it seems to break them from their stupor. Superman starts hovering, moving up and down a few centimetres in a way that they've learnt means he's nervous.

"How? How?" He cries. 

"Peculiar," Wonder Woman muses, but she doesn't seem as shaken as the rest of them are. 

"'Peculiar!' 'Peculiar,' she says!" Lantern seems on the verge of a breakdown, and Martian Manhunter is just staring at them all with clear confusion of his face. Barry doesn't feel like explaining, and just trudges after Batman, head spinning.

"Imagine if Aquaman was here to see this," he mumbles. There had been an issue in Atlantis that prevented him coming, but Barry wishes he was here, if just for so someone else is suffering along with him. 

The rest of the heroes follow after him and by the time they've caught up to Batman, they're just arriving at the camp. They arrive behind him, in just enough time for them to hear him tell her to put her hands over her ears. She does so with another giggle, then Batman straightens up, looking out over the sea of people.

"ALLY REID! STEVEN REID!" His bellow silences the camp as heads turn to see the source of the shout. Then the group seems to collectively move away from them at the sight of the Bat. Batman looks ready to yell again when the crowd starts to part, allowing a couple to pass through. They break through to the front, freeze, then sprint forward, calling out for Jemma. 

Batman places her on the floor and she runs to them, and then the family is reunited. Some of the tension seems to leech out of the air when they crash together in a sobbing heap, like seeing them reunited has given people faith that they'll get their loved ones back too. 

Noise levels pick up again too, and some people start migrating over to them where they stand behind Batman, asking if they have seen people, or asking them to help find them. 

Whilst the others start looking, Barry asks for pictures, then speeds around looking for them and if he finds them, confirms their identity, then speeds them back over to their loved one. After he's done that a few times, he's waiting for someone else to come up to him again, and Jemma running by catches his attention. She disappears under the mass of Batman's cape, and the hero lifts it to see underneath, revealing her clinging to his leg in a hug. 

"Thank you Mr Batman," she shouts around the lollipop stick in his mouth, then runs back to her parents, and they walk off together. 

Barry debates with himself, then walks over to Batman and stands beside him. "How'd you do it?" Batman turns his head towards him, but says nothing. "She was scared of all of us, then you come along and she wants cuddlesHow?"

Batman is quiet for another few seconds, then says, "You're all terrible with children." He spins on his heel and stalks off, steadfastly ignoring the loud protests through comms. 

Barry is just left standing there, confused. How did a kid like the night personified better than any of them? One thing is for sure, he will get to the bottom of this.


Arthur smiles at the woman in front of him as he hands back the now-signed baby (why are people so weird about superheroes and their children), then backs away, pretending like he doesn't see the other people vying for his attention. He manages to evade them all and ducks out into the hallway, then flattens himself against the wall and just breathes

When he agreed to join the Justice League, he really hadn't considered how much PR would be involved. Yeah, he's King and has to mingle with his people on Atlantis, but it's different up here. The public are vultures, and handsy in a way that his subjects never are. He doesn't like these events, where he has to plaster on a smile and pretend that he likes having children foisted onto him, the flirty compliments or the backhanded ones, the thinly-veiled hatred for anything not-quite-human that the politicians never seem to hide very well, and it's all just too much.

So here he is, hiding out in a hallway, with only Batman to keep him company.

Wait...

He jumps, then glares at the Bat who had appeared silently, leaning against the wall and watching him with a small frown. Not that he's typically smiling, but this is a frown-frown, not just Batman clinging to his mystique. 

"Fucking hell," he groans, scrubbing a hand over his face and glaring at the impassive cowl. "Don't fucking do that." He stays silent, no response as usual, and Arthur just sighs. "What do you want, Batman?"

"You left quite suddenly," he explains. "I was the only one available to check on you."

"Gee thanks," he deadpans, then thunks his head back on the wall behind him. "Just not used to all the..." He waves vaguely in the direction of the door, then gives up and stares at the ceiling instead. It's quite ornate actually, reminds him of some of the decor back in Atlantis. It's probably why staring at the intricate detailing helps him centre himself again, calm down from the stress of being in the loud, bright, busy room. "It's a lot."

"Aw, is the poor fisherman not used to the spotlight?" Arthur chokes on a surprised laugh, and Batman's mouth even tips up in a smile. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to Batman joking. It's rare, barely ever happens, but when it does, it's always great, if a bit unsettling that Batman can be funny.

"Humans do 'the spotlight' a bit different than Atlantis does."

Batman nods his agreement, then just leans back against the wall and studies him. It's the same way he scrutinises everyone after a mission, checking for injury. He's clearly not going to find one, but Arthur understands what he's doing all the same. He's checking he's okay, ready to go back in and keep pretending. He's not, but what choice does he have? He can't just hide out here for the rest of the night. He can just imagine the headlines. 'Aquaman leaves function early; emergency or horrible person?' And then they'd have to probably do another one of these to make up for the fact he left.

"I'll be fine, we can go back in." 

"Thank God," a child yells, bursting into sight. Arthur jumps, again, but Batman doesn't so much as move, not even looking at the child. He knew the little shit was there, and said nothing. Arsehole. "Can I get an autograph now?"

"Sure, little bud," Arthur says, crouching down, one hand on his trident. "What's your name?" The boy looks at him, frowns, looks at Batman, looks at him, frowns some more, then forces a smile. 

"I was talking to Batman. Sorry," he adds, not looking at all apologetic. "You can sign it anyway if you want, my name's Tony." He holds out a notepad, with a frankly amazing pencil sketch of Batman stood on it. Arthur sighs and stands back up, looking down at him. 

"No, that's okay. Thank you, though." 

"Great!" Tony cheers, and whips around to face Batman, who hasn't moved. "Can you please sign it?"

Batman moves down, and sits cross-legged on the floor, inviting Tony closer. He presses right up against Batman's side, thrusting the pad into his face. Batman takes it and rests it on his knee, then takes the pen too, and writes a small note then underneath signs a nearly illegible signature onto the page. He hands it back to Tony, who looks over at him with stars in his eyes. 

"Thank you," he whispers reverently, caressing the page with gentle fingers. 

Batman chuffs a laugh as he stands up, and puts a hand on Tony's shoulder, guiding him to the door. "You're welcome." 

Arthur falls in step behind them as they walk back into the room. Batman walks off with Tony to make sure he's delivered back to his parents safely, because he still hasn't looked up from the paper. He catches Green Lantern's eye, and mouths 'what the fuck' towards him. He can't hear the laugh that makes the Lantern throw his head back, but Superman does, whipping around with wide eyes. Arthur makes his way over, along with Superman, and Lantern only laughs harder. 

"Green Lantern? Are you okay?" Superman asks, concerned, and he just wheezes, pointing at Arthur with a shaky finger. 

"I came in with Batman and he started laughing." The Kryptonian looks around the room and finds Batman still standing next to Tony, who is now excitedly showing an older woman the notepad. He smiles, and nods like it all makes sense. He puts a finger to his ear and activates his comm.

"Aquaman just discovered children like Batman," he says, and the words echo in his ear. More subdued laughs than Lantern's fill the line, and Arthur looks around to find all the other leaguers waving off concern from the people their in conversation with.

"You knew?" Arthur hisses, and Lantern nods, wiping pretend tears from his eyes. 

"Found out at that invasion whilst you were in Atlantis. None of us could believe it." 

Arthur nods. "Yeah, I get that. How?" He asks, uncomprehending.

"None of us know," Flash says through the comm. Arthur looks around and finds him at the refreshment table, a cup held in front of his mouth to hide that he's talking. "It's insane, I mean, like, what? How?"

"How indeed." Arthur turns and finds Batman stood off to the side, lurking in a corner, and can feel his glare from across the room. "Did you all forget I am also on this channel?" 

"Maybe," Superman (Superman!) squeaks. "Sorry, Batman." 

"Hrn."


Diana coos as she sees the baby in his cot, fast asleep. "Colin," she says, looking at the name-plate carved into the front of the wooden cot. "Colin, wake up." She reaches in and scoops up the baby, then winces as he immediately starts wailing, the screaming cries hurting her ears. "Oh, oh no." She pulls the baby closer and starts rocking it. She spots a dummy hanging from his wrist and offers it to him, but he bats her hand away and cries harder. 

She mumbles apologies to him as she gives up on comfort in favour of getting him out of the unstable building.

The Justice League had been at a Q&A event (apparently that is what they are called) when the building was shook by an explosion. They had immediately left to assist, and found that a suspect the police had been chasing had set off a bomb as a distraction, and had damaged several nearby buildings. They had been delegated to evacuation of the affected buildings, which is where she was currently escaping from. Superman had already left carrying the parents of Colin, who had been knocked unconscious by the initial blast. He had taken them to the building the Q&A had been hosted in, which was turning into a base of operations. 

She was heading there now, to reunite baby Colin with his hopefully conscious parents. It would be a lot easier, however, if he wasn't trying his best to deafen her.

"Please stop crying," she begs him, leaping down another flight of stairs. 

"Who is screaming?" Flash asks over the comm.

"Colin."

The comm is silent for several seconds. "Wonder Woman, who is Colin?" Superman asks, voice strained. 

"A baby. He is not very quiet."

"No crap," Lantern mumbles, then says louder, "Cleared my building."

"Cleared."

"Cleared."

"Cleared."

"Cleared."

"Cleared," Diana adds in, then returns to trying to soothe the baby.

"Cleared," Batman growls. "Meet in the square and return to base as one."

Diana races out of the building and nearly runs right into Martian Manhunter. He steadies her with a hand on her shoulder, then peers down at Colin. 

"He is very upset," he notes, and she scowls.

She takes a deep breath and blows it out instead of snapping him. "Do you know how to stop it?" 

"No," he muses, and walks off. She reminds herself that he isn't always good at human interaction and repeats it in her mind like a mantra to avoid becoming furious at him for being unhelpful. She doesn't know how human women do it, this seems exhausting, and she's only had hold of this baby for a few minutes.

"What the hell, WW?" Flash asks when she walks over to the group, backing away with his hands over his ears? 

"Are any of you parents?" She asks, basically begging, and gets nothing but silence. "How do I calm him? He was fine when he was sleeping, but then I woke him up and now he won't stop, she elaborates. 

Batman appears beside her and she startles. His head is turned towards her, a frown deeper than usual on his face. "You woke him?" She nods and he sighs heavily. "You never wake a sleeping baby," he lectures, then holds his hands out. "Give him to me." She sends him a wary look, then obeys and hands him over, ignoring the silent objections of their other teammates behind Batman's back.

He gently lays Colin on his chest plate and supports him with one hand. Diana can't imagine the hard metal is comfortable, but waits, curious to see what else he'll do before she intervenes and takes Colin back. The answer seems to be that he'll take off his gauntlet, and rub Colin's back. It takes a few minutes of them just standing around watching, but his cries slowly start to wane, and turn to quiet sniffles. 

"Hey, are you—" The police sergeant they were liaising with freezes when he sees Colin snuggled into Batman's chest. The vigilante lifts a finger to his lips and put it there for several seconds, exuding threat. 

A low sound picks back up, and Diana hadn't even realised it had stopped. She looks at Batman in wonder, then at Superman, who nods at her, looking giddy. He's humming, he mouths, and starts hovering with excitement. Diana understands, this is uncharacteristically soft of Batman, and she melts slightly, finding it adorable. Not that she'd ever voice it, because even though she can get away with more than most when it comes to him, calling him adorable is probably not on that list. 

"Are you done with evacuation?" The sergeant whispers, eyes fixed on Batman, who has resumed slowly rubbing Colin's back.

"We are," Martian Manhunter tells him, seemingly the least affected by the sight in front of them. 

The officer nods mindlessly, then shakes himself and nods again, firmer. "Okay. Would you like to come back to the centre, then, or are you leaving?"

"Centre," Batman growls. Colin whimpers and Batman shushes him gently. He offers him the dummy and Colin takes it this time, suckling on it and relaxing. Batman sets off and the rest of them trail after him, just watching. It's so cute, seeing such a stern man, an immovable force thousands fear, hold a baby and comfort it by humming.

The people they pass, officers and civilians alike all stop to stare, equally astounded by the sight of it. People don't even try to be subtle as they take pictures, and Diana even sees a journalist with their camera aimed at them, so they'll likely be subjected to some of Batman and Superman's arguments about the media at some point soon. As terrible as those fights are to watch, from sheer boredom and repetitiveness, Diana thinks getting to see this makes it worth it. 

The sergeant looks incredibly sad about having to leave when he gets called away, but they've reached the centre by then, so there's really no reason for him to stay. They continue without him and Superman takes them over to where he left Colin's parents. They're still not conscious, but a woman is crouched next to the wife's head, stroking her hair. 

She looks up at their approach, then her jaw drops open when she sees Batman. She whispers something Diana can just make out to be, "My ovaries," before she stands up and walks over. Superman chokes at her words and turns bright red, confusing the other heroes, but Diana is just fighting back laughter, and does not feel like explaining, no matter how many times Flash nudges her with his elbow. 

"Is that Colin?" She asks, reaching out. Batman makes no move to hand him over, studying the woman. "I, uh. I'm Sally's sister, Mary-Kate Benson." Batman watches her for a moment longer, then gently pries Colin off him, and hands him over. Colin, now in his aunt's arms, refuses to let go, his tiny fist curled around Batman's finger. 

Flash smacks Lantern's arm aggressively, and looks like he's about to vibrate through the floor from excitement. Lantern whacks the back of his head and he stops, then moves out of range. 

Mary-Kate is blushing, looking up at Batman through her lashes. She shifts Colin in her arms and tries to gently pull his arm away, but he refuses to release him. "I guess he doesn't want to let you go," she says, then looks him up and down and whispers, "I can understand why." Superman scowls, Martian Manhunter pulls a face and back away a few steps, whilst the other three men on the team all start silently laughing, and Diana is tempted to join them.

Batman doesn't react to her comment, just ducks his head and gets slightly closer to Colin. "Can I have my finger back, please?" He asks. Colin pouts around his dummy and tugs on his finger, and Batman chuffs a laugh. He stands back up and his hand disappears somewhere into his cape, and comes back out holding some bills. "Flash," he barks, in a far different tone to the one he used on Colin, "go buy him a toy." 

Flash takes the money and speeds away, and is back in two seconds, now holding a Batman toy the size of his head. He hands the change to Batman first, then the toy after it was put away. Batman ducks again, and holds it out. He wriggles it from side to side, trying to entice Colin to let go. 

"Now will you let go?" He asks. Colin doesn't move for a second, then lets go and grabs the toy with both hands, cuddling it. Batman stands and walks off, but Diana catches the smile on his face before he transforms it back into his typical scowl. 

Mary-Kate fans her face with the hand not holding Colin, flushed. "Good lord," she murmurs, then walks back over to her sister and sits back down next to her.

"Are you going to stay there all day?"  Batman growls into the comm, and they hurry to leave the building and meet up with him outside. 

"Come on, Spooky, spill," Lantern demands, as soon as they stop next to him. "How're you so good with kids?" Batman ignores him.

"You bought him a toy!" Flash adds in, and Aquaman nods.

"Good with kids," he agrees. 

"Colin calmed significantly in your presence," Martian Manhunter butts in, speaking in a wise tone.

"We are you friends, surely you can share this with us," she prompts, and is also ignored. He stands stoic and still, just staring at them, clearly not intending to respond. Diana figures it's worth a shot and kicks Superman's ankle to get his attention. He's staring in the direction of the centre, still scowling, but looks over at her when she kicks him. She jerks her head in Batman's direction and he rolls his eyes and takes a few steps closer to Batman. 

"Come on, Batman. What harm could it do to tell us? We promise not to use it to try and figure out your identity." He smiles and Diana gets the same feeling she always does when she thinks Batman is rolling his eyes beneath the cowl. 

"I look after my neighbours infant son on occasion." He turns and stalks off, but they're satisfied with the short answer.

"Spooky as a babysitter," Lantern whispers. "What the fuck?"


Hal can't help his scream as the building he's on the roof of explodes, throwing him into the air. Fire licks at his heels and he creates a construct to block it from him, and floats, suspended in the air, looking for where he's needed. 

This entire battle has been a shitshow, the robots that are attacking had an invisibility feature that kept them from noticing them until they attacked, so they're fighting and doing evacuation at the same time, which has their forces severely divided. Comms is a constant stream of noise, to the point it's hard to figure out what's being said at times. But there is no mistaking Superman's shout of, "GET THE KID!" A loud grunt follows, and Hal sees him get tackled by three robots at once, and go crashing towards to ground, tangled up in fighting them.

He desperately looks around that area, trying to find what kid he means, and finds a robot flying by, a small girl dangling from it's metal arms. 

Cursing, he changes the construct around him and it speeds towards the robot. The girl is fighting tooth and nail to get away from it, kicking and screaming at the hunk of metal. If she carries on like that, he's scared the robot might drop her entirely, and pushes even faster. 

He forms just a solid metal block and, aiming carefully, slams it into the robot. It falls apart and the girl drops, screaming louder now. With all the parts falling with her, he can't catch her without possibly hurting her by proxy, and makes a frustrated noise.

Deciding to use gravity, Hal leaps off his construct and plummets through the air towards her. Robot parts scrape at his suit as he flies by them, and he grunts when a particularly sharp piece slices his cheek, and blood follows soon after. 

He manages to get close enough and reaches out, grabbing the girl and pulling her to him. He quickly forms a construct to catch them both and turns around so his back slams into it, and she is on top of him. She scrambles off, kicking him in the chin in the process, and he groans as he stands back up, directing the construct so they're flying to a safer area than the epicentre of the battle. 

She moves dangerously close to the edge of the construct so he adds a few quick walls behind her so she doesn't fall off. 

"Let me go!" She shrieks, terrified. 

"Not a chance, kiddo," he pants, steadying himself as a robot slams into one of the walls, rocking them. She shrieks again and whips around in circles, looking for a way to escape. "Look, I'm one of the good guys, kid, I'm not gonna hurt you." 

"Liar!" 

"Nope, not a liar," he objects, steering them past Martian Manhunter, who is being swarmed by five robots. He throws a few attacks their way, and gets a quick thanks in his comm as he moves on to a different part of the fight. 

"Let me go!" She shouts again, suddenly a lot closer. Hal turns around just in time to be tackled by the kid, and tips backwards, knocked off balance. The construct dissolves around them from his distraction, and then they're falling again, approaching the ground at alarming speed. The kid is still fighting him, and won't give him so much as a second of peace to catch them from certain death. 

He catches another fist aimed at his face and then that tiny hand is grabbing his ring and pulling, and tossing it away from him. 

Fuck. 

He looks around for anything he can do to save her and spots Batman on a nearby roof, throwing a now-mangled robot off of it. 

"BATMAN!" He shouts into his comm. He sees the cowl snap towards him, and he immediately leaps off the roof, speeding through the air towards them. Hal looks at him, and the ground they're fast approaching, and throws

The girl screams as she sails through the air, but Spooky is right on track to catch her, so Hal turns around as streamlines through the air, hand outstretched to grab his ring. He manages to just brush it with his fingers when a weight slams into him, and he curls his fist around it as he is pulled away. 

There's a vice grip around his waist, and he can't twist himself around to see what it is, so resigns himself to finding out the hard way, and just tries not to throw up as they sail upwards through the air in a large arc, heading right for a building. They fly above it, and the grip on his waist releases, and he falls that last two feet to slam into the roof hard, barely managing to turn so his back hits it and not his face. 

He stays where he is and just coughs, unable to breathe for all the air being knocked out of his chest. Then he remembers the possible enemy on the roof with him and slides his ring back onto his finger as he struggles to his feet. He staggers and turns and stops dead, because there is Batman, watching him, girl leaning against his leg. 

"Thank fuck for you, Spooky," he gasps, and voices flood in over comms for him. Apparently just coughing was pretty concerning after falling thirty feet through the air. 

"Hrn. Stay here." He orders, walking to the edge, the girl trailing after him.

"Hey, hey, I can still fight," he objects, making Batman turns around, and Hal can feel the glare through the cowl. 

"Then do it from here. You can't even breathe right currently, and someone needs to look after Stacy." 

"Who the fuck is Stacy?" Batman looks down, and Stacy, apparently, glares over at him. "Oh fuck no, she's a monster." Stacy sticks her tongue out at him and Batman sighs, audible over the comm. 

"Too bad." And with that, he jumps off the roof, firing his grapple and swinging right back into the fray. 

Hal doesn't even try, just builds a box around Stacy, locking her in place. It's wide, so she has lots of space to throw a tantrum, which she does, but it also has lots of room for him, so he climbs on top and looks out over the battle, seeing where he can help. 

He just starts making constructs and slamming them into robots. He does that for a while, distantly noting when Stacy gives up on her tantrum and just starts sulking in a corner. Which means he notices when she gets up and starts waving at him. Instead of dissolving the box, because it gives him a pretty good vantage point, he builds some stairs and a small turret with a hole. She climbs them and settles in the turret, then leans over to the hole.

"Who are you?"

"Green Lantern."

"Whatcha doing?"

"Helping."

"How?" He points and she follows his gaze, watching as two squares crush some robots between them. They separate and he directs them over to another cluster of robots, and Stacy watches as robot parts rain down on the streets below. 

"Do a heart." 

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Aw, c'mon, Lantern," Flash whines in his ear, "do a heart." 

"Fine." The squares change shape and the next robots get squashed by two giant hearts, which is kind of unsettling. 

"Do a dinosaur." He smiles and looks at her out of the corner of his eye. Now she's not trying to get them both killed, she's kind of fun. In that kid way, where they just act their age and it's fun for no reason. 

"What kind?" 

"What kind of what?" Martian Manhunter asks. 

"Dinosaur."

"Ooh, Velociraptor," Flash votes. 

"T-Rex," Superman.

"Pterodactyl," Batman throws in. 

On a hunch, Hal looks over at Stacy, whose brow is furrowed with how hard she's thinking of dinosaurs. "Batman says pterodactyl," he prompts, and she grins, nodding vigorously. "Pterodactyl it is," he announces, and suddenly there's a massive green dinosaur flying through the sky, crunching down on robots. Flash is whooping with joy in his ear, and he hears a distinct chuff that is Batman's laugh, whilst Superman cheers and flies up to it to stand on it's head and pose before flying off to destroy more robots. 

"It's so ugly," Stacy says, voice filled with wonder, and Hal cackles. He doesn't get any new instruction from her, and it's quite effective, so he keeps using it, occasionally shrinking it down to a smaller size when taking it down to street-level. 

"Over there," she shouts suddenly, after over ten minutes, and sticks her arm out of the voice-hole to point towards Batman. He's surrounded by robots, and whilst Hal knows he can handle it, Stacy looks terrified on his behalf, so shrinks the dinosaur and sends it flying towards Gotham's Knight. It crunches down on all his metal opponents, then hovers above him whilst Hal looks for something else to smash, absentmindedly fist-bumping Stacy.

"There, there!" Stacy yells, and Hal spots another robot flying at Batman. He sighs and chews it to pieces, having a dreadful feeling that Stacy isn't going to let him leave Batman alone for the rest of this fight.

He is very right, Batman doesn't get to break anything for a whole five minutes before he finally breaks and starts telling Hal off, because the pterodactyl is still flying above him as he moves through the battleground. 

"Hey, you're the one who told me to look after the kiddie. I don't want to stress her out by leaving you to fend for yourself," Hal teases back, grinning widely as he destroys a robot before Batman can, and listens to the frustrated yell that comes after. "Honestly, Spooky, it's your fault for being so likeable."

Laughter fills the comms in response, and Batman is delegated to finishing civilian evacuations whilst Hal fends off any robots that head his way, Stacy helping him.


J'onn lifts a collapsed wall and the people trapped underneath hurry out, helping each other climb the slope past him, their crying shifting from fear to relief as they're finally freed.

The Justice League is responding to an earthquake on China's coast, working civilian rescue alongside the government operators. They've been here for three hours already, and the devastation pressing in on him from everyone is really impacting J'onn. No one here has even the simplest of mental blocks, and are basically broadcasting their thoughts and feelings, none of which are positive. J'onn wouldn't expect it, not from a scene like this, but such overwhelming negativity is... The best way he can think of to describe it is the human saying of it 'really doing a number' on him. But, he wants to help, and that's why they're here, so he'll just persevere.

J'onn drops the wall now that everyone's free, and guides the people up the path to where someone in a high-visibility vest is waiting, ready to direct them to one of the gathering points. 

There's a small gust of wind and J'onn turns, finding Flash next to him, frowning. He's tired, and his mental blocks, basic as they are, have started to weaken, and his emotions are leaking through, small waves of sad-tired-angry brushing by J'onn. 

"It's terrible, isn't it? I mean, all of these people have just lost their homes, everything they own, probably some loved ones, and we can't do anything. Their lives are destroyed, and we're just gonna go home and resume ours like nothing happened." He makes a frustrated noise and kicks a nearby rock, then starts cursing and hopping in place, clutching his foot. 

"We cannot do anything but help now. Their government will help them later," J'onn tells him. Flash doesn't say anything else, just smiles weakly and falls in step beside him. He knows it's only a small reassurance, if one at all, but J'onn doesn't have anything better to offer him. 

"Twenty-seven incoming victims from the west, ages ranging from thirty to seventy, many injured. Requesting assistance getting them up the hill." Batman's voice comes through the comm, just as tired as the rest of them.

Flash turns to J'onn and opens his arms in invitation. J'onn sighs and climbs on, and in a second, they're in the west search quadrant, at the foot of the hill. Superman flies down next to Wonder Woman, and Lantern floats down mere seconds after them. 

Batman approaches them, a crowd of people hobbling after him. J'onn is hit by a wave of tired-help-pain that actually makes him take a step back from the sheer volume of emotion They all start towards the group, taking the arms of the elderly, picking up those too injured to get up themselves. Lantern creates a raft of sort and helps people on, and once that's full with the last of the group, sends it trundling up the hill. The only one not helping is Batman himself, who is climbing the hill alone.

J'onn frowns at him, his own feelings echoed by the trickling emotions of disapproval-anger-tired from his teammates.

"Not going to help, Spooky?" Lantern grunts, arm wrapped around the waist of a limping woman as he climbs the hill behind his construct.

"No," he growls, and J'onn frowns at the quiet panting coming from their most stoic member. 

They reach the top of the hill and step back from the people they're helping, expecting them to head towards the workers waiting on them, but, for some reason, they stay where they are, loitering for no apparent reason. In the stillness, movement catches J'onn's eye, and he looks over towards Batman. 

He unclips his cape, allowing it to drop to the floor, revealing himself to be covered in children. They cling to every available part of him, and shy away from the sun by pressing closer now the cape is gone. Lantern starts laughing off to the side, and he's not the only one. J'onn and Batman are the only heroes not laughing at the sight, but J'onn certainly sees why they are, he looks ridiculous.

Batman just huffs and starts unlatching the children from his armour, depositing them gently on the floor and allowing them to run over to their family members, which finally gets some of the people to start moving. He had a total of nine children clinging to him, somehow, and it reminds J'onn of the clown acts humans enjoy where they pull an endless amount of handkerchiefs from their mouths.

When he's done, J'onn half-expects him to pull another one out, but he just stretches his back, resulting in a crack J'onn can hear from six feet away. Superman, who's closer, actually winces at the sound, but Batman himself just picks up his dusty cape and clips it back in place, then walks off after the group, beginning to converse in rapid Chinese with one of the workers helping them.

Lantern tips over onto Superman, who is just looking after Batman with a smile human's would describe as 'dopey' on his face, and totally doesn't react to his colleague collapsing on him. 

"I-I—" He snorts. "They just kept coming! How were there so many?" He dissolves back into laughter and Flash joins him.

Wonder Woman just shakes her head at them and walks over to Superman, leaning on his other side. "You're drooling," she tells him, and he snaps out of the almost trance he was in to glare at her. 

"Was not," he objects, but wipes his chin anyway. 

J'onn finally gives in to laughing, and accepts the shove to his shoulder from Superman as he storms off, coincidentally in the same direction as Batman.


Clark sits nervously in his seat at the conference table. They're nearing the end of the meeting, and he's still trying to work up the courage to go through with his decision. He's put it off for the last three meetings, and he's promised himself that today is the day. Today he will—

"Anyone else?" Batman's familiar growl opens up the floor for people to speak, to add any new business to the roster, or make an announcement, so Clark shoots to his feet before he can talk himself out of it. The attention of the room zeroes in on him and he swallows nervously. 

"I— We've— Um..."

"Superman." He looks over at Wonder Woman and she smiles gently at him, stretching her hand out towards him slightly. "Breathe." He takes in a deep breath and blows it out, steadying himself, and nods at her. 

"We have worked together for two years now, and I think in this time, we have grown close. I would even go so far as to say that you six may be my closest friends, as you know more of me than any others. Which is why... I want you to know my identity." The air suddenly feels like it's been sucked out of the room, and Clark's mouth is dry when he says, "My name is Clark Kent." 

The room stays silent for far too long, and Clark begins to feel like he's made a mistake, and begins to backtrack. "Or not, you know, doesn't matter. I don't want any of you to feel pressured, this was just a decision made, you aren't—"

Green Lantern peels off his mask and kicks his feet up on the table, lacing his fingers in his lap. "Hal Jordan." He meets Clark's eye and nods at him, deliberately, and Clark smiles back. 

"Arthur Curry," Aquaman says, running a hand through his hair. 

Wonder Woman leans back in her seat and smiles at them all. "Diana Prince."

Martian Manhunter transforms into a human man who looks surprisingly like his previous form. "I go by John Jones."

"Barry Allen," Flash rushes out as soon as he's done talking, a wide grin on his face.

Collectively, everyone looks at Batman. Clark is already resigned to not learning anything new about his friend today, he knows he is far too paranoid to reveal his identity to them, and though it took a few days to accept it, Clark has, and is not expecting anything more than the answer Batman gives. Silence. 

It's broken by a creak above him, and Clark doesn't even have time to look up before a weight slams into his shoulders. "Aw, c'mon, B, you've gotta tell them." Clark was about to throw off whoever had decided to sit on him, but then they spoke, and Clark froze halfway through reaching up, because that voice belongs to a child. He slowly lowers his arms again, sending panicked looks to the other heroes in the room, hoping they know what's going on.

His eyes land on Batman, the only one who looks even remotely calm as the white lenses of his cowl stare at something just above Clark. The rest of the room are either ready to fight, or halfway out of their seats and looking extremely confused. 

"Robin, get off Clark." The rest of the League looks at Batman then, as shocked as Clark is. 

"Not until you tell them your name," the boy objects, and Clark feels arms be crossed on top of his head and sends an incredulous look towards the ceiling as green boots kick casually in front of his chest. 

"No," Batman growls, getting out of his seat. 

"Then I'm staying here." 

"Hn." Batman stops next to Clark and reaches up, relieving him of the weight. He brings his hand back down now holding a young boy by the collar of a very colourful costume. It kind of reminds Clark of a traffic light. 

"Wh— Hey— B!" The kid objects, wriggling. Batman lets go of him, and Robin scrambles up the armour to sit on his shoulders, looking perfectly comfortable as Batman goes back to his seat, like nothing is amiss. "No fair, I wanna stay up there."

"Too bad."

"But he's taller than you." Clark chokes on a laugh at this child so blatantly talking back to Batman, and he can see Hal turning pink from trying to hold in his laughter, probably trying not to antagonise Batman. 

"By an inch."

"Still taller." Batman grunts and sits down, and the boy, Robin, throws his hands in the air in victory. "I win. You know the rules." Batman grunts again and opens a pocket on his utility belt, passing Robin a lollipop. Hal loses the battle and starts snickering, joined by Barry.

Robin looks at them both and sticks the lollipop into his mouth, handing the wrapper back to Batman, who tucks it into another pocket. "I still say you should tell them."

"Too bad." Clark drops back into his seat and scoots forward to watch the scene before him. Barry's chair spins, then he's back mere seconds later, a bucket of cinema popcorn is on the table in front of Clark, and he sees one in front of everyone except Batman. Robin eyes his, then slowly moves his eyes over to Barry, who speeds off again. He comes to a stop next to Robin, holding out another, slightly smaller bucket. Batman takes it before the boy can and puts it out of reach.

"You have a lollipop."

"I can have both," Robin objects, bending backwards. The position makes Clark shudder at the way he appears to just not have any bones, but Batman doesn't even react, just pushes the bucket further away like he's desensitised to it.

"No, you can't." Robin sighs and sits back up, now pouting around his lollipop stick. 

"I could if you didn't suck."

"Well, unfortunately for you, I do 'suck.'" Arthur laughs next, a quiet chortle that doesn't exact Batman's glare like Barry and Hal's did. 

"You know what would make you suck less?" Robin sing-songs, swaying in place. 

"Telling them my identity?" Batman guesses. Robin contorts to put his face in front of the cowl and nods vigorously. Batman grabs his face and pushes it away, and Diana giggles slightly. "Too bad," he repeats. Robin opens his mouth again but doesn't even get to ask before Batman answers. "To keep you safe. To keep Agent A safe."

Robin frowns. "Agent A has a shotgun. And a bodycount." 

"Don't remind me," Batman grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm still not telling them."

"I should get a vote."

"You get one when you're eighteen."

"But that's seven years away!" Clark feels his eyes go wide. Robin looks eight at a push, but is apparently eleven. How small must his mother have been for him, a son of Batman, to be so small?

"Exactly." 

"Does Agent A get a vote?"

"No, but he has an opinion. Not one I'm listening to," he adds when Robin opens his mouth. He closes it again with a huff. He opens it. "Yes, I'm aware this is why I 'have no friends.'" He closes it. He opens it. "No, you can't double-dog-dare me." He closes it. He opens it. "I'm not betting you anything." He closes it. He opens it. "No." He closes it. 

Clark watches this continue for a whole five minutes, laughing alongside his teammates as Batman shoots down every one of his son's increasingly ridiculous ideas before he can even say them. He knows his son incredibly well, down to the most obscure thing that he'll suggest as motivation for Batman to reveal his identity. It's endearing to watch, and Clark finds himself smiling stupidly at the sight. 

"No, you cannot give them a hint," Batman says, sounding bone-tired, and Robin finally gives up, collapsing on top of his father's head with a put-upon sigh. 

"Fine, I give up, you can keep being a paranoid butt." 

"Thank you," Batman says graciously. "Can I take you home now?" 

"I suppose." Batman stands without another word, walking to the door. Robin liquidises, flopping backwards and snagging the popcorn bucket off the table, winking at them, lollipop stick still sticking out of the corner of his mouth. 

The door closes behind them, and they wait a full three seconds before all bursting out laughing. 

Clark may have started this meeting thinking that he wouldn't learn anything new about his friend, but he could not have been more wrong, and he's so grateful. He finally knows how Batman is so mysteriously good with kids, he knows that he has the most adorable son, an acquaintance with a penchant for guns, and is an amazing father. 

An amazing father.

Notes:

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