Chapter Text
“My heart is, and always will be, yours.” - Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen
Suffolk, England
1816
Rey slept for most of the ride to the Solo estate. Ben supposed she was exhausted from all the excitement of relocating to the country—he was, too.
But he wanted her to see the ride up the manicured road to the house. He wanted to watch her reaction. So, he gently roused her from sleep, jostling his arm where she rested her head. She made a soft grumbling noise and sat up, slowly blinking sleep from her eyes.
“We’re here,” Ben said, fixing her hair with gentle fingers. “I did not want you to miss this.”
“Hm? Oh, we’re here,” Rey murmured blearily. She pressed her cheek to the carriage window to watch as they pulled around the curve and the house came into view.
Her eyebrows drew together for a moment and then flew up just as her jaw fell open. Her husband simply watched her and grinned to himself.
“Wait,” Rey whispered. “Wait…but this is—isn’t it? Yes, right?”
She turned wide eyes on Ben, who nodded.
“It is.”
Rey sat with her hand over her mouth and her eyes fixated out the window. She knew this place. She’d seen it hundreds of times and imagined what it would be like to walk through its door. It was her favourite painting in the Solo drawing room.
A crumbling old mansion, overgrown with trees and foliage and the shadow of what it had once been.
Only it didn’t look like that in real life. Now, the lawn was immaculate, the trees were cleaned up, flowers of all different colours bloomed out front. The stone facade was cleaned and shone brightly against the dark green wilds that were its backdrop.
The carriage came to a halt and the footman opened the door. Ben stepped out first and offered his hand to Rey, who took it and didn’t let go once she was out of the carriage. Her eyes never left the house and its gardens. She was in awe.
“I stared at that painting countless times. How did I never know it was your country house?” She whispered.
He smirked and dropped his mouth to her ear.
“You never asked.”
She gave him a hearty shove with her shoulder, and he laughed.
“Would you like to come inside?” He asked, pulling her close.
“I would, yes.”
It was breathtaking. The interior was all deep, warm colours, rough stone accents and dark wood, and incredibly well taken care of. The staff welcomed them as they walked through the house, and Rey greeted each of them with a smile.
They spent all day wandering the manor and the lawns, until far past sunset. By the time they both fell into the master bed–a large, fur-covered feather down mattress on a gothic four-poster–sleep claimed them quickly.
They continued to explore the next day, and the day after that. By that time, Rey felt far more comfortable making her way through the manor on her own. Just in time, too, as Ben had business matters to attend to—loathe though he was to attend to them. She decided the first place she wanted to spend more time in was the library.
The four tall windows provided ample light, even on a day as cloudy as this one. Her fingers caressed the spines of the books as she walked along the shelves. They were clearly all Ben’s parents’ favourite volumes; there were lots of books on scientific theories and politics, books written in Latin and books written in French, legal texts, record books, and a small selection of books of the more feminine variety, one of which Rey chose first. She pulled the small, leather-bound book off the shelf and sat in one of the wide leather armchairs by the windows.
After about an hour, the sun peeked out from behind the clouds for a little while. Just enough time to warm the library and make Rey feel terribly sleepy. She’d felt tired almost constantly the last few days. She didn’t know why; she’d been getting ample sleep at nighttime. She didn’t feel ill. She figured it had something to do with the events of the past summer and how it had all ended. That would exhaust anybody, she thought. So, with that, she let herself drift off to sleep.
She dreamed of a little boy with a familiar smile, wild, dark hair and big brown eyes, laughing along with her as he led her by the hand down a well-trodden path through the woods. He almost looked like someone she’d seen before, but she couldn’t quite nail down who, or when. The dream felt so real, she was quite shocked to wake and find that the boy was not sitting there with her, fast asleep and curled against her chest. Something panged within her chest and she rubbed the spot absently.
The next day she wandered around the lawn and traipsed through the garden. She picked a few peas and a few crabapples and walked across the grass towards the woods, chewing happily on her snack.
When she got to the edge of the treeline, she walked eastward along it for a little bit until she came to a noticeable break in the trees. Her heart beating a mad race behind her rib cage, she peered down at the ground. Though very overgrown, there was an unmistakable walking path that started at the treeline and disappeared into the thick of the woods.
Ben hadn’t taken her this far along the treeline at the back of the house. She didn’t know this was here, not really. She’d seen it in her dream. But she wasn’t dreaming now.
***
“Where does that path in the woods go?” she asked later that night as she and Ben got ready for bed.
His head perked up and she could see him thinking.
“Is it really still there?” he asked.
Rey tilted her head with curiosity. “It is very overgrown and needs some work, but yes, I found it today.”
“Hm,” he murmured. A small smile was pulling on his mouth. “Maybe I can start working on clearing it this Saturday…”
“Okay, but where does it go?”
“Oh,” His eyes sparkled as he looked at her. “It goes for a couple kilometres and ends up at a small creek. My father cleared that path for me when I was a little boy, and he and mother would take me out there to look for wildflowers and insects and birds. Following the creek leads to a pond that even has small fish in it sometimes, if the water is flowing well.”
Is that what the little boy had been taking her to do? To look for flowers and wildlife on their way to the pond? She thought, not for the first time since having the dream, that maybe the little boy was Ben, and she was imagining him when he was a child. Considering she was wandering the halls of his childhood home, it made sense to her. But even so, deep down she knew it wasn’t her husband in her dreams. The boys’ eyes were a deep, chestnut brown, noticeably different from Bens’ more hazel-toned ones. The boys’ eyes looked a lot like Ben’s mothers’ eyes, from what Rey remembered of them. But why on earth would that be?
“That sounds lovely,” she said, trying to keep her distraction out of her voice.
“Shall I clear it for you?” he asked.
“Only if you will take me to the pond when it is done,” she smiled, curiosity quickly taking hold of her.
“I promise it.”
***
A week later, Rey had a frightening idea about who the little boy in her dream could be.
She woke up that morning and initially felt fine as she rose from bed, but before she could even reach the bedroom door she was running for the chamber pot and vomiting. When she tried to stand, she felt faint and knew she could not. So she sat on the floor and retched.
Mary, who had accompanied them to Solo Manor, knocked on her door and entered.
“My lady? Are you ready for–oh, my,” Mary startled to see Rey looking sweaty and haggard on the floor, clutching a chamber pot against her chest. The old woman’s deep blue eyes were wide with shock.
Mary knelt before Rey and gently pressed the back of her hand to Rey’s forehead. Mary’s skin felt cool and Rey ached to have that relief back when it vanished.
“You feel a little warm, my lady,” she said softly. “Let me help you get back into bed, then I will empty this chamber pot and bring you a new one.”
Rey nodded. Mary helped Rey stand slowly. Her stomach rolled for just a second at first, then settled a little. Before long, Mary had her tucked back into bed and was feeling her forehead again.
“You feel slightly better already,” Mary said. “I’ll be right back.”
As Mary rushed back out the door, Rey only hoped her stomach wouldn’t betray her before she could get a new chamber pot.
She tried to puzzle out what could be wrong with her. She didn’t feel sick with any illness she could discern. She didn’t have a bad fever, or scratchy eyes, or a leaking nose. She didn’t cough, nor did her throat ache. She was simply vomiting, it appeared.
She mulled it over for a minute before a memory clicked into place for her—she’d heard the married women back in Scotland describe experiencing something similar. But the significance of this realisation hit her like a brick wall.
She sat bolt upright in bed, breathing fast. Some of the women had said they’d had very sensitive stomachs when they’d been with child. The symptom would typically, though not always, occur in the mornings.
“No,” she said aloud to the empty room. “No, that is not it.”
Cannot be.
Could be.
Is not.
But the boy from her dream came back to her as though he’d been summoned from the ether of her mind. He had Ben’s hair and spirit, but he also had Rey’s smile. Her freckles were dusted across his cheekbones and nose.
Stop, she told herself. That is silly. I cannot base anything off of a dream. It just sounds ridiculous.
Oh, but she had correctly predicted there’d be a pathway through the woods by seeing it in a dream. That same dream, in fact.
“Stop.”
She took a few deep breaths and held her face in her hands, urging herself to think logically about this. It was easier said than done.
Maybe she actually was sick with something. Maybe she’d eaten something she shouldn’t have the night before. Maybe it’s just not a good day.
Mary bustled in at one point and put a new chamber pot on Rey’s bedside table. She spoke to Rey and checked her forehead one more time. Rey didn’t really register anything she was saying, but she nodded along anyway. Once Mary left Rey to rest, she reclined into the pillows and sighed deeply.
She’d never been more scared, confused, and hopeful in her life. Certainly not all at once, over the same matter.
She was due to start her monthly bleeding in three days’ time. She’d know then. She’d know that she wasn’t pregnant. She’d know that the dream was a lie; that she was looking into it too much.
Everything would be fine in three days.
Ben was worried sick, of course. He’d come barrelling into the bedroom at lunchtime, fear-stricken and with a pallid tone to his skin. He’d been working on clearing the wooded pathway practically since the break of dawn and so his light cotton shirt was rolled up to his elbows and covered with smears of dirt.
“Are you alright? Mary told me you were ill,” he said, sitting next to her on the bed and taking her hand in his.
“I am fine,” Rey answered, leaning in to his soothing touch when his hand cupped her cheek. He smelled like cool, fresh air and earth.
It was the truth; she really did feel much better. She wasn’t completely back to normal, but compared to her sorry state that morning she had vastly improved.
“You are fine,” Ben repeated sceptically.
“I am,” Rey said firmly. “I woke up and did not feel well, but I am doing much better now. I am certain it is just a simple illness that will pass in due time.”
He did not look particularly comforted by her response.
“You are sure?” He asked. “You have been rather tired as of late…”
“It will pass, I am sure,” she said, in the most soothing voice she could muster. “I will inform you immediately if I am not better in a week, how about that?”
“And you will permit me to call in a doctor?”
“…Yes.”
“Then I suppose I will have to settle for that.” He sighed.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. As he sat up, his hand rested on her abdomen and Rey’s pulse jumped. She looked at his hand there and she wondered if he knew. If, maybe, somewhere in his subconscious mind, he knew she was pregnant. That’s why he let his hand rest and linger there. Had he ever done that before now? She couldn’t remember.
She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the notion. He didn’t know—how could he? She didn’t even know. So why was she scaring herself? Oh, how she wished to turn her mind off and hear nothing but numbing silence.
“Have you eaten?” He inquired softly.
She nodded. “I had some toast a little while ago. Seems to be staying down.”
“That’s good,” he said, relief flooding his voice. “I can stay here with you the rest of the day, if you would like. I just need a bath and a change of clothes, I am afraid I got quite dirty—”
“You do not need to do that,” she said kindly, smiling up at him. “I would hate to take you away from your work, and besides, I want nothing more than to escape from this bed, so with any luck I will be up and about soon. Maybe I can come find you outside and see your progress.”
For a moment he looked like he wanted to argue with her, but at the last second thought better of it. Instead, he relented, and told her what he’d been doing to clear the path, all the stubborn shrubbery and rotten logs he’d encountered so far, and the sheer number of splinters he’d already pulled out of his arms and hands.
Rey let herself be lulled by the comforting tone of his voice as he talked. It calmed her nerves, and for a little while she didn’t even think about what may be happening to her. It was lovely, but it did not last forever.
***
Three days passed. Rey woke that morning to find her husband already out of bed, no doubt waiting for her downstairs while he enjoyed some tea.
She stretched and threw back the sheets, getting out of bed with a yawn. She looked down at the mattress. There was no blood on the sheets.
She padded over to the full-length mirror in the corner and examined her nightgown. No blood there, either.
She hurried to the washroom and checked her drawers. Nothing. Perfectly clean.
Her heart hammered in her chest, so hard and so loud it became all she could hear. She looked down to see her hands gripping the washroom basin. Her fingertips were white with pressure, but her hands shook unmistakably. She suddenly felt very unsteady on her feet and had to sit down on the floor for a while.
It’s okay, she told herself. Maybe it will come later in the day. I will wait until tomorrow before I really start to worry, at least.
But it didn’t matter. The panic had already infected her bloodstream and continued to course through her veins unimpeded.
She found no blood that day. She felt no twinge of pain in her lower abdomen, no emotional variances. She felt completely normal, and that was concerning.
Even more concerning was the fact that nothing changed the next day, or the day after that. Or the day after that, even. Every morning she woke up to clean sheets and clean undergarments, her panic grew in strength. Eventually it got to a point one morning that she knew she could not hide it from Ben. She could no longer pretend it was just a temporary illness. She could no longer act like she wasn’t terrified.
And so, she shook like a leaf as she descended the stairs that morning and entered the family room, where she and Ben liked to take their breakfast.
He was sitting with his left ankle resting on his right knee, teacup in one hand upon the small round table and a pamphlet he was reading in his other hand. It took him less than a minute to register she was near, despite her making no sound.
“Good morni—what is wrong?”
Immediately he rose from his chair and cleared the distance between them. He knew just by the look on her face, then. She had to tell him. She could no longer keep it to herself. She had to tell him the truth.
“Ben?”
“Yes, love. What’s happened?”
“I think we may need to call for a doctor,” she said quietly, her whole body shaking with the crushing reality of what she was about to say.
“Oh, God,” Ben murmured, his eyes widening. “Rey? Why?”
“Because…because…” It was so difficult to get the words out. Really, she knew it should be easy. This should be exciting. But she just couldn’t deny her fear. Whether she was afraid over not knowing if she was or wasn’t expecting, or afraid to be a mum, or simply just afraid at how he’d react, she didn’t know. She only knew she was scared out of her wits.
She’d never been in this position before. She’d thought she never would be.
“Rey, you’re scaring me…” Ben whispered. “Why do we need to call a doctor? Tell me, please.”
“Because I haven’t—I have not bled yet this month. I was supposed to start a week ago.”
“A week ago…?” His brows furrowed. He didn’t understand her meaning, she realised. Or maybe he didn’t want to?
“You haven’t bled…” he repeated her words, his eyes searching her face as though he’d find some great clue there. It took nearly a minute before he shuddered and his wide eyes locked onto hers. She saw it in his eyes then—the sharp gleam of understanding.
“Y-you think you are…?”
“Yes.”
“…Oh. Right. Yes,” He nodded repeatedly, as though they were discussing some highly intellectual theory. Rey almost laughed, and she might have, if it wasn’t for the ghostly colour of his face.
“Maybe you should sit down…?” She suggested, gesturing at the chair he’d vacated earlier.
He nodded again, but he made no move to sit.
“Ben? Are you alright?” She asked after another minute had passed and he still hadn’t moved or spoken. Her heart felt painful all the way up in her throat.
“N-no,” he answered, his voice softer and more quiet than Rey had ever heard it. “Perhaps. I do not know…”
“I do not know, either.” She agreed with a sigh.
Her pulse was racing and cold sweat tickled the back of her neck. The nerves were unbearable. She felt so unprepared to be a mother and it frightened her that she may fail at it. She hadn’t grown up with a mother. She didn’t feel that she knew what it meant to be one, not truly. What if something happened to her? What if her child was left without a mother, just like she was?
“What are you thinking of right now?”
Ben’s question tore her from her thoughts and her eyes flew to his face. She didn’t reply right away; the words were jumbled in her mind and she feared if she opened her mouth, they’d rush out all at once and choke her. But his expression was so earnest and tender, it made her nervous stomach flutter.
He stepped closer to her and pushed her loose hair away from her face, gently cupping her cheek. His gaze was cautiously imploring. He didn’t want to push her, yet worry creased his brow.
“I…I’m just—I am very happy. I am. But I am also very sad, I think.”
“Why?”
“I-I suppose…part of me wishes it could have been just the two of us for a little while longer,” she sighed. “I feel as though we lost so much time together, and I wanted to make up for that. Oh, but it sounds so selfish of me to say that.”
Ben pulled her into an embrace, his palm rubbing slow circles between her shoulder blades. She leaned into him gratefully as tears lept into her eyes.
“I understand what you mean,” he said into her hair. “But do you not think we can continue to make up for lost time, even with a child?”
Rey shrugged half-heartedly. “Yes, I know we can. But it won’t just be the two of us anymore.”
“Mm. You know Lily will snatch that child up at any perceived opportunity, right? She will give us plenty of time alone without us even having to ask.”
At this, Rey couldn’t suppress a chuckle. He was right, of course. Aside from the two of them, no one would love that child more than Lily.
And suddenly Rey can picture her best friend holding her niece or nephew with tears in her emerald green eyes. She can see the bond they’d form, and it’s a beautiful sight. But even more incredible would be the bond between that child and its father.
Rey pulled back to look into her husband’s face. Her chest swelled with feeling when his warm, familiar eyes locked onto hers and he smiled at her.
“I know you are afraid,” Ben whispered. “I am, too. But I need you to know that things will be alright. We will continue to do the things we love together. How exciting it will be to share our passions with our child, too. I promised you forever and I intend to keep that promise, remember.”
His thumb swiped away a tear at the outer corner of her eye and she nodded, her own words failing her.
“You…you are every good memory I have ever made. And I will make thousands more with you before we are done on this earth, do you understand?”
She nodded and a soft sob escaped her, but it was not sad. It was incredibly, intensely happy.
“Oh, Ben…” She wrapped her arms right around him and rested her head on his chest. “I love you so.”
“And I you,” he whispered, pressing a firm kiss to the top of her head.
***
Two weeks later, Ben silently poked his head into the drawing room. His wife was seated in her favourite armchair, working on her embroidery. He watched her for a moment with a smile on his face. She looked perfectly adorable when she was concentrating very hard.
He cleared his throat and she jumped a little in her seat, nearly dropping the hoop.
“Ben? What are you…?”
“It’s finished.”
She looked briefly puzzled, but then her eyes went wide and bright as a smile slowly spread across her mouth.
“The pathway? You cleared it all?”
He was properly grinning now as he fully stepped into the doorway, filling the space with his broad frame.
“All of it.” He lifted his arms where his shirt sleeves were pulled back to his elbows and showed her the myriad of little red scrapes and cuts that criss-crossed over his skin. “Not without my fair share of injuries, mind you.”
Rey chuckled and set her embroidery hoop aside before slowly standing from the chair. Her hand automatically fluttered in front of her stomach and the tiny flicker of life within it, a mindless habit she’d simply picked up a week ago. It made her feel silly every time she caught herself doing it. She had no belly to rest her hand on yet, after all!
“You were very brave,” she admitted as she sauntered over to him.
“‘Were’?” He placed a hand over his chest. “You would me with your past tense.”
Again she laughed, a breathy, pleasant sound. “Simple slip of the tongue, I assure you.”
He nodded and offered her his arm. “Well? Shall we take a look? Then you may tell me if my wounds were worth the trouble.”
She placed her hand upon his arm and smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling.
“Yes, let’s.”
They walked outside into the autumn air. Some leaves were beginning to change colour, but the vibrant green of summer was stubbornly hanging on. The sun was undeniably losing its heat, though; the gentle breeze had a specific crispness to it that heralded the coming change of the seasons.
The pathway was free of debris, the rogue brambles and branches cut back and the long, tickling grass mowed down flat. Ben had cleared enough room for two people to walk side-by-side amongst the trees.
As they embarked into said woods, the sound of birdsong grew louder around them. Bees slowly buzzed past, journeying faithfully from one flower to another before they all faded away for the winter. Rey took this all in like a deep breath. It felt calm out here. Peaceful, and safe. It felt like nothing but the natural elements of the world could find them out here. The rest of it simply ceased to exist or matter.
“It is beautiful out here,” Rey mused softly, tilting her head up to admire the sweeping branches and boughs of the trees, curving over their heads like natural parasols.
Ben nodded, his eyes sweeping the landscape while a comfortable smile tugged at his lips.
“It is. I had forgotten what it was like to escape out here…”
In the distance, the gentle gurgling sound of slowly flowing water grew gradually louder until the trees parted and the creek curled around to meet their path. It was small and shallow—only about five feet wide—but the water plants were lush on either side of it, signalling that it was likely a different story in the spring and early summer. The sunlight-dappled current twinkled magnificently at them as they walked the elevated path alongside it.
Ben’s hand softly gripped Rey’s forearm, halting her.
“Look,” he whispered, and pointed a finger ahead of them.
On the path, only twenty feet ahead of them, stood a lone fox. It stared back at them, assessing the potential for danger. Rey barely dared to breathe as she took in the sight of the beautiful creature. Its vibrant coat was growing fuller with the changing of the seasons; its tail was a thick auburn brush that didn’t so much as twitch while it watched the intruders.
Then, after barely a minute, it turned its head and trotted off through the tree line.
“That was incredible!” Rey gushed, unable to contain her glee. “Oh, I have never seen one so close!”
Ben chuckled warmly at her side. “Mm, you are not in the city anymore, love. Best get used to sightings like that.”
They walked in happy silence for a time, the creek gradually widening next to them before curving to the right and flowing into a generous pond. The water was still as glass, with small lily pads and water crowfoot peppering its surface.
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Rey sighed.
“Just as I remember it, too,” Ben replied. “Come on.”
He tugged her to the edge of the pond for a closer look.
“You would swim here as a child?” She asked him.
“Yes. I think Mother was quite thankful for it as it kept me out of the house for much of the summer.”
“Well, then…”
She let go of Ben’s arm and bent down to untie her shoes and slip them off her feet, along with her stockings. She set both aside, adjusted the skirts of her dress, and sat down in the grass before slowly dipping her feet into the cool water. She gave a sigh of contentment and turned her face up to her husband, who was looking at her with a smile and raised eyebrows.
“Won’t you join me down here?” She inquired playfully.
“Ah,” He nodded, and his hand loosened his cravat. “How could I refuse you?”
He too removed his shoes and socks and rolled up his pant legs before submerging his feet in the water.
“It feels so nice,” Rey said, smiling serenely.
Ben nodded. “Indeed it does. It brings back plenty of memories for me.”
“What sorts of memories?”
He smirked, thinking about it for a minute, before pointing to a gnarled old oak tree across the pond. Its mighty boughs arched over the water, and Rey noticed for the first time an old, decrepit swing attached to the biggest branch by rope.
“I broke my wrist once, swinging on that,” Ben said, a smile in his voice. “I leaned back too far in the seat and toppled out of it backwards. I landed half in the water, half out of it. Stole all the air right out of my lungs, too.”
“Oh, dear,” Rey’s eyebrows knit inward as she looked at it.
Ben laughed beside her. “Do not fret, love. I am aware the wood seat is rotted and the rope is dry and brittle. I will fix it so that the same fate may not befall our child, I promise you.”
“I should hope!” She said, laughing along with him.
They talked for a long while, with Rey enraptured with tales of her husband’s childhood here on the estate. It was like a whole new chapter of his life had become available for her. All those experiences she hadn’t been a part of, stowed away in London such as she had been. While he talked, she plucked wildflowers around them and knotted them into a flower crown. And when she was finished with her craft, she settled it unceremoniously atop his sable hair.
He wore it proudly, like a king.
After a while, they both laid down on their backs in the grass. They swished their feet lazily in the water and stared up at the hazy blue sky, watching birds flitter between the trees above them. They talked about idle things of no consequence, always just skirting past the more important topics. The implications fell over them like a blanket, nonetheless.
Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment before parting his lips to ask, “How are you?”
She turned her head in the grass to face him. Hazel green met dappled brown, and the walls collapsed. All reluctance gone, Rey slowly smiled at him, her eyes crinkling at the outer corners. Her dimples, normally so faint but now highlighted by the sun’s shadow, drew his eye.
“I am very happy,” she answered softly. “I did not think it possible to be this thrilled.”
Ben’s eyes softened. “That is good to hear. What in particular has you so thrilled this afternoon, may I ask?”
She chuckled—a warm, gentle sound from within her chest. “This afternoon? Oh, well…all of this, I suppose,” She gestured at the nature surrounding them and returned her focus to him. “Oh, and flower crowns, of course.”
“Mm, yes, but of course,” He tipped the crown in her direction in as gentlemanly of a fashion as he could manage and returned it to his head. “And what else?”
“Oh…”
Rey looked up at the sky, her eyes roving from left to right as they traced the wispy clouds. The words that made up the answer were there in her mind, she just needed to determine how to string them together properly.
After a minute, she answered, “I am so happy and relieved and grateful that, after everything, we managed to find one another again.”
Ben nodded in peaceful agreement. “You know, I never doubted that fate would bring you back to me. I always knew we would have another chance to do things right. Maybe that is only because my past failures regarding my pursuit of you were, and they remain to be, my biggest regrets.”
Rey pondered that for a moment before deciding she didn’t agree.
“I do not think it was your conscience guiding you in this particular instance. Reflecting on things, I realise now that even throughout all my miserable years trapped in Scotland, I never lost hope somehow. Even when the cruel words, indifference and pain grew to be too much to bear, I never allowed myself to succumb entirely to it. The only reason I was able to do so was you.”
She wiped an errant tear from her cheekbone and carried on before he could interrupt.
“I never stopped thinking of a future for myself, even when I longed to never see it. The thought would come to me unbidden during my darkest moments. How could I end things when the future looked so bright? When every time I pictured it, I saw your face in my mind?
“I could not give that up. I believe fate, or the universe, or whatever one wishes to call it, fed me these small kernels of hope just to keep me alive so I could make it back to you like I was always meant to.”
She could see her silhouetted reflection in the watery depths of his eyes as he looked at her with so much love in his expression it nearly made her sob.
“I will never be able to explain to you how happy I am that you did make it back to me,” he whispered. “For I have longed for this my entire life.”
“As have I.”
He leaned over and brought his lips to hers, putting all the words he could not speak into the action she could feel. After a while they separated, but he kept her face cradled in the palm of his hand.
The green and yellow palette of their current environment really did make her eyes look so breathtaking.
“Are you ready for one more grand adventure with me?” He asked, resting a warm hand across her abdomen.
She raised her eyebrows. “Only one?”
“One last grand adventure,” he clarified. “There are many more adjectives to describe many more types of adventures in the future.”
“Ah, I understand.”
“So? Do you think you are ready?”
She smiled brightly at him, filling his heart with delightful warmth.
“Ben Solo, I have been ready for all our grand adventures from the moment you fell into that rose bush.”
He placed a kiss on her temple, muffling his soft laughter in her hair.
“I know, my love. I always knew.”