Chapter Text
You swing your legs off of the edge of the bed. You think about your body.
Sometimes you have legs, sometimes you have arms, but sometimes, when you feel small and curl up on yourself, they all mesh together.
You don't know if you should feel any sort of way about that. It's all you've ever known, to your knowledge.
You get curious and open her drawers again.
The paper crane stares back at you. You whack it with your hand.
Upon doing that, though, you notice something. Marks, on the underside of its wing.
Words.
Three separate words, in different handwriting.
You don't…really know how to read this. That is, you'd be able to sound them out, but long sentences don't really stick in your brain.
This is only three words, though.
You try anyway.
Okay, first one!
O…..Ood…ile….Odile? That's…a person, right? You recall an image of a tall woman.
You are trying very hard to figure out what this means to you.
Ouch. Your head hurts.
You shake your head and cover your eye. Hmm…
The second word (name?) is the longest. This intimates you.
Iiiiiii….Iiiisabeau! This one came to you easier, surprisingly. ISAAAAAAA!!! You giggle (it sounds more gurgly than anything). Saying that one is fun.
Bonn…nnie. You think that one is the easiest one to say. You remember two things.
A hug…tainted by awkwardness but lovely nonetheless.
And
An armored hand
You whimper, dropping the crane. Bad feelings are familiar. You are only slightly aware of the ramifications this has on your mind.
They make you feel more animalistic, more dissociated. It seems most strong feelings do that to you.
You pick the crane up off of the ground and put it back in the drawer, gentler this time even though you're too short to see the inside of it standing on the floor.
Those people…you have a feeling you should know them better, but everything is coming back slowly.
You think about the people in your campfire dream last night. They made you feel safe.
Climbing back up on the bed, you wait. The kind lady- Mira said she would be back, right? What if she isn't?
You barely get time to spiral before you hear the creak of a door, instinctively tensing before you realize who it is.
“Siffrin..? I'm back! See, I told you I'd be back!” Mirabelle closes the door behind her.
By the time you've jumped off of the bed and gotten to her, she's put her backpack leaning against the wall.
“Mmiia!! Miiirra!!!” She's back!! You fall down to sit in front of her with your claws on her knees. You want some sort of touch to confirm that she's real.
“Yes, hello Siffrin! I never knew you were so clingy-!”
Apparently you didn't need to initiate the touch, because she rests her hand on your head. Warm! You close your eye contentedly.
Oh- nope. Not anymore. She's looking away shamefully. “Ah-! S-Sorry, that's- that's weird you're not- I'm sorry!!” She cries.
You…don't understand. Why is she saying sorry? You liked that. Did you make a mistake?
You grab her hand and…put it back on your head. She doesn't remove it like last time. You try to examine her face as she's doing so.
She…looks hurt again. What did you do?
“Siffrin…do you…like touch?”
You look at the floor.
Yes.
Very much.
You try to say as such, but no words come out.
“You do, don't you? Why didn't you ever tell us?” Her voice breaks a little.
This is what makes you pull back. You feel like you're hurting her. Making her sad.
“H-Hey!! It's okay, you don't have to-”
A loud, repetitive banging makes you jump. There's yelling beyond the door.
The next bit happens a bit too fast for you to make sense of it. Mirabelle whispers something about a clawed to you? Clawed what??
And then you're being hefted across the room and pushed under the bed.
What!! Was that!!
There's…another voice. Another person. They sound a lot more abrasive than Mirabelle.
You're on edge, shifting around as you attempt to find a spot where you can see but not be seen.
You end up huddled against the wall on the short side of the bed.
They're talking so fast…Mirabelle talks slowly enough that you can comprehend what she's saying, but this new person speaks too fast for any words you might know to click before they've already said more things.
It makes you nervous.
You flinch when she forms some craft with her hands, aiming it roughly where you are, but Mirabelle steps in front of her and she relents.
And then, all at once, Mirabelle's crouching to see you, beckoning for you to come out.
You slowly crawl forward until your head is pressed against the palm of her hand.
“See? That's her.”
You move your gaze to the other person in the room. She's watching you apprehensively, hands ready. She scares you. Will she hurt Mirabelle? Will she hurt you? She's so much taller than both of you when Mirabelle is crouched down like this.
She makes…dangerous things. You know this.
She twitches, and on edge as you are, startles you enough to attack.
You lunge at her, but you never get to her. Someone grabs your body in midair, pulling you to their chest with their arms wrapped around you. Mirabelle. You struggle, pulling at her arms but never actually using any of your craft.
“SIFFRIN! Stop!!”
You go limp. Are you…not in danger?? Did she defeat the stranger??
Yelling. Ow. You shut your eye tight as you hear them fighting above your head. You tune it out subconsciously, though it was likely you wouldn't be able to understand anyway. The harsh tones of voice make your stomach ache, for some reason.
Then, you hear Mirabelle say something.
“Wh- NO!! He's my friend, Claude!!”
You open your eye to study her face while the conversation goes on.
Somehow, you didn't expect that. You care about her, very much, but you thought she was just keeping you around because…
You don't actually know what you thought before…
You cover your face with your hair/hat amalgamation. You really don't like being in the crossfire of this fight.
“They're sentient they recognize me and they talk to me- well- TRY and talk to me-” Mirabelle sounds like she's about to cry; It's a feeling you know well. But she sounds sure of what she's saying underneath the tears.
“That thing TALKS?” You don't like Claude very much…
“YES! Kind of?? He- I don't think he can articulate words very well, b-but! I've heard him say my name. They can talk, Claude! They're sentient!!!” They're talking fast again! Your mind has gotten backed up trying to listen to Mira here.
You've gotten better, but it still takes you longer than it used to to process sentences. You don't question that train of thought.
The only word you catch from Claude's next sentence is the word ‘pilgrimage’.
You squeeze your eye shut until you don't feel like you're going to explode anymore.
“-one of your other friend's houses so he's not our problem anymore!” You're a problem? You reach up and paw at Mira's chin, above you.
“Saabeau? Bbonn? Dii?” After your practice earlier, you can pronounce them understandably, at least.
Are these the friends she's talking about? You hope so. You like them. It doesn't occur to you that you've never met them. You think you have. What?
Mirabelle's speaking is pressured, once again way too fast for you to make sense out of. You do catch the names of your friends, though.
You meet her eye, pleading, and she seems to relent. Her roommate shouts something back at her, and she holds you tighter. Not that you mind, you can't exactly be squished anyways…
“...Fine. I'll go to Jouvente. I know Isabeau should be there.”
“Bbeau? Sabeau!!” You end up breaking one of her curls free of the headband when you paw at her shoulder.
She sets you on the bed, standing between you and Claude, who you're trying to ignore. Maybe if you hit her with some scissors she would be quiet…
Mirabelle takes a lot of the stuff on this side of the room, including her crane and papers. Will the crane not get crushed?
She turns to you again. You stare at her with a wide eye.
“Siffrin. We're going to see Isabeau.”
Yay!
“But you can't be seen by anyone in the house. So you're going to need to hide in my backpack again, okay?”
You frown. Probably.
“Please, Siffrin? If you won't, we can't go see Isabeau.” She frowns back, and wrings her hands together.
You don't like it in there….it's too small. What if something gets you in there and you can't move enough to attack…
You look into her eyes. The same eyes that you found such comfort in during your spiral.
Would she protect you from other sadnesses? Other people?
You hesitantly step into the bag. You press all of your limbs together.
The world closes around you.
It's dark, quiet, you can feel your best friend on the other side. It would be calming if you didn't have the instinct to fear that you're being cornered.
It's not a bumpy ride, all things considered. She was rushing, before. It was scary.
Maybe she trusts you to stay in her backpack.
Of course, you have to go and betray that trust not even a minute later.
You can't hear what she's saying, but the voice sets you off. Something's rotting something's rotting something's rotting you're rotting you're gonna lose everything in the decay-
You're cornered!! You're in danger!! You panic, clawing urgently, desperately, at the night.
You cry gutturally when nothing happens. You're stuck you're stuck you're stuck you're stuck nothing's ever going to change you're gonna be alone in the cage forever-!
Something cracks beneath your claw. You didn't know you could charge a craft that fast, but the sky breaks in half and you can get away-
You run. As far and fast as you can. You feel the cold of the tile walls and floor seeping into you as you crash into a corner.
You look around frantically. They're in front of the door…you're still cornered!! You try to make yourself as threatening as you can. You hiss when the housemaiden looks at you, flattening yourself against the wall.
“Siffrin. The Head Housemaiden won't-” Mirabelle approaches from the doorway. You're on such high alert that you try to back away from her too.
The Head Housemaiden inhales sharply. “Siffrin?”
Something's broken failing rotting I know you thought your quest was over
Mirabelle's rambling an explanation but you can't hear it. The housemaiden cups her cheeks just like she did when she told you that you were trapped in hell forever-
They're both looking at you.
Mirabelle kneels down next to you, but you can't look away you're tasting sugar-
She holds a hand out to you.
“Euphrasie won't hurt you. It's okay. We- we have permission to go. Do you want to go now..?”
She's blocking the door, still…
“Come on. I-I told you we can go see Isabeau. Do you want to go see Isabeau?”
You do…
You rest both of your claws on her one hand. Your shaking is affecting her hand, too.
“Are you ready to go now? I think- I think you broke the zipper on my backpack- so you don't need to worry about being zipped in there, if that's what you didn't like.”
You were too panicked to realize you'd broken it. You nod slowly. Will she not like you for this?
“Great.” She smiles warmly.
You haul yourself up and into the crook of her elbow. You melt there.
“Oh-! Okay, sure, I can carry you there-?”
You still watch the Head Housemaiden as you're being lifted. She catches your eye and backs away with a smile.