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Even When I’m Sick

Chapter 2

Notes:

I ruined my own day writing this. Be warned.

Chapter Text

Izuku likes living with Zashi and Zawa.

 

He really, really likes it.

 

They do everything they promised and more. Zashi takes him to school every day, and Zawa picks him up. They eat breakfast together in the morning, and dinner at night. They even let Izuku help, even though he’s not very good at cooking.

 

Saturday is ‘going out day’, and they always do something new. Without fail, though, it ends with him half asleep in the back seat of the car, head on Zawa’s shoulder.

 

Zawa is a teacher at the high school near their house. He always has stories about his homeroom, and Izuku really hopes one day he’ll be in Zawa’s homeroom. Maybe he and Kacchan and Eijiro will still be in the same class. He can already think of all the pranks they’d pull on him!

 

Zashi is a radio host, which is really cool! He works from home in the office next to his and Zawa’s bedroom, and he speaks to famous people every day. Just last week he interviewed Kamihara Shinya, the actor who plays Edgeshot, and Izuku almost cried when Zashi let him speak to him after the interview was over.

 

Zashi takes him to his six month checkup, too, and Takahashi-sensei beams when she sees him. She even takes Izuku to the side once all the medical bits are done, and asks him how he likes living with his new parents.

 

Izuku spends ten minutes telling her all about his new life, and she looks almost as happy as the day Izuku rang the bell.

 

Before Izuku knows it, he’s spent a whole year with his new parents, and they celebrate by going to Osaka, touring all of the sites from the latest All Might movie.

 

It’s just after lunch on their second day when Zashi turns to Izuku with a mischievous grin.

 

“So… there’s one more thing left to do today,” he tells the boy, and Izuku looks between him and Zawa.

 

Zawa doesn’t say anything, though he looks mildly amused. That’s enough to spark Izuku’s curiosity, and he looks back to Zawa.

 

“Are we going to the zoo again?” he asks, because the only thing that gets Zawa even remotely excited is the zoo, so surely that’s it, right?

 

Zashi chuckles and shakes his head. “Nope!” he says simply, and Izuku is too distracted by trying to work out what they’ll be doing to notice they’ve arrived at a bookstore, Zawa pulling out tickets to show to the man at the entrance.

 

The man allows them in to the store, and Izuku is immediately in awe. The whole building is decked out in All Might decorations, with hundreds of people in All Might-themed outfits. Izuku is really glad Zashi and Zawa let him wear his Golden Age hoodie today.

 

“Woah!” Izuku half yells, running up to the nearest stand, picking up a comic. “These aren’t on sale until next week!”

 

The comics are wrapped, but Izuku is happy enough turning the comic in his hands, eyes shining. “This is awesome!”

 

When he finally turns back to his parents, Zawa and Zashi are looking down at him, grins on both of their faces (well, Zawa is more smirking, but he’s usually so calm that to Izuku he may as well be grinning).

 

Izuku is clutching the comic, a pleading look on his face. He doesn’t like asking them for anything, but this is just so cool! Kacchan will be so jealous!

 

Zawa moves forward and ruffles Izuku’s hair, chuckling a little. “You can have it, kid. You don’t need to ask,” he tells him, and before Izuku can even say thank you, he points to the other side of the room. “Why don’t you go and get it signed, while you’re at it?”

 

And there, sitting at a table, is Yagi Toshinori, All Might’s actor.

 

The rest of the evening is a blur, but in the best of ways.

 

Yagi-san recognises Izuku almost immediately, getting up from his chair and embracing the boy. He tells him how much better he looks, that he loves the hairstyle. He remembers Izuku telling him about Kacchan, and asks all about school. He’s fairly sure Yagi spends longer with him than all the other people in the line put together, but no one seems to mind when they hear the word ‘remission’. Adults seem to really like that word, Izuku thinks, because Yagi-san lifts him up in the air when Zashi tells him.

 

Izuku leaves the bookstore that night with a full heart, lots of pictures, and a signed comic for both him and Kacchan.

 

Once they get back to the hotel, he gives Zashi and Zawa the biggest hugs he can, and he tells them he loves them.

 

They’re all crying by the end of the night.

 

***

 

Two weeks after Osaka, Izuku gets a fever.

 

He hasn’t had a fever for so long and he hates it. He’s grumpy, refuses to leave bed or eat or drink. He feels a little bit bad, because Zashi and Zawa don’t deserve to be yelled at, but they just won’t leave him alone and all he wants to do is sleep.

 

By day three of his fever he feels a little bit better. Zawa is at work when he finally emerges from his room, making his way to where Zashi is working on the couch, and practically climbs on top of the man.

 

“Stupid Kacchan,” he grumbles, curling up against Zashi’s chest.

 

Zashi chuckles, hand coming up to stroke Izuku’s hair. He does that a lot, and Izuku loves it. It reminds him of his mum.

 

“We told you not to hug people who are sick,” Zashi tells him. “It doesn’t matter if you’re all better, even the healthiest kid is going to catch a cold when they do that.”

 

Izuku just makes a quiet, annoyed sound.

 

“Still his fault. He shouldn’t’a gone to school. I told him to go home, ‘cause he was coughing.”

 

“You’re right, but he’s been off for the last few days, too, so you can tell him you told him so when you’re both back.”

 

Izuku just nods, promptly falling asleep on Zashi’s chest.

 

***

 

The next week, Izuku has a fever again, and this time Zawa stays at home.

 

He doesn’t really notice how concerned his parents look, too miserable to do more than lie on the couch with a cloth on his head, watching old hero movies.

 

“It’s only been two months since his scan,” he hears Zashi whisper, “surely they’d have noticed something if it was back.”

 

“You know as well as I do that it can return in days,” Zawa says, sounding more stressed than he did when he was marking exams last month. “We should book him an appointment just to be safe.”

 

“I called his family doctor yesterday, Shota. He said probably a coincidence and that we don’t need to contact his haematologist unless he gets other symptoms, which he hasn’t. I don’t want to put him through any more tests or scans than necessary. He was a mess for days after last time.”

 

Izuku hears Zawa huff, and closes his eyes tight as the voices get closer. They probably think he’s asleep.

 

“Fine. But one more infection and I’m calling her.”

 

“Okay. Just… let’s think positively. It’s just a coincidence.”

 

Izuku trusts Zashi, but he isn’t sure he believes him.

 

***

 

“Zawa? Zashi?”

 

It’s breakfast a month later. Izuku hasn’t had any more fevers. He’s felt better these last few weeks than he has in a long time. Except for one thing.

 

“Whats up, kiddo?” It’s Zashi who speaks, not looking up from his phone half a bite of toast in his mouth. Zawa is reading the newspaper, and he also doesn’t look up.

 

Izuku looks down nervously, hand reaching up to his neck. He takes a deep breath.

 

“Takahashi-san told me if my bump comes back I have to tell someone.”

 

And now both of his parents are looking at him, and Izuku winces.

 

Zashi almost chokes on his toast, and sets his phone down with a thud. Zawa is calmer, taking a steadying breath similar to the one Izuku had just taken, swallowing.

 

“And has it?” Zawa asks.

 

Izuku just nods, not meeting either of his parents’ eyes.

 

He misses the way the two look at each other in fear.

 

“Can I see?” Zawa asks, and suddenly he’s stood in front of Izuku, concern clear on his face.

 

Izuku nods, turning his head and pointing to it. Aizawa touches the lump in his neck softly. It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t mean he likes it. “It’s in the same place, but it’s bigger this time, I think?”

 

Izuku thinks he hears Zashi swear.

 

“How long has it been there?” Zawa asks, voice low, and Izuku winces, pulling back.

 

“I… um…”

 

“You’re not in trouble, kid. I just want you to tell me the truth.”

 

Izuku pauses, looking at the ground. He knows he should have told them sooner. He’s eight and a half now, he’s big. He knows better.

 

“Maybe two weeks?”

 

The room is silent for a long moment.

 

“Okay,” Zawa says simply, nodding as he walks back to the table. Izuku is surprised. He’d half expected to be yelled at.

 

Zawa and Zashi look at each other for a moment, having a silent conversation.

 

“Zuku, can you go to your room and change, kiddo?” Zashi asks after a moment, “we’re probably going to need to see your doctor, so no school today, okay?”

 

Izuku frowns and nods.

 

“Sorry,” he whispers

 

Both of his parents suck in a breath.

 

“You’re not in trouble, kiddo,” Zashi says eventually. “I just wish you’d said something sooner.”

 

***

 

They don’t manage to get an appointment until the next day, and Izuku spends the whole morning crying.

 

He knows he has to go, but he hates it. He hates the needles and he hates the scans and he hates that, this time, it’s not only Zashi but also Zawa coming with him. For the first time in a while, he wishes it was Nakamoto-san driving him to the hospital.

 

He refuses to get out of the car when they arrive, and Zawa has to lift him out. Izuku struggles and kicks and yells, wishing he never said anything about the stupid bump, but Zawa takes it in his stride, and by the time they’re in the waiting room for the scan, Izuku is crying softly in to his chest.

 

Zawa holds Izuku while they do the first scan, the one where they put gel on his neck and put a vibrating scammer against it. Usually this one is fun, but none of the workers are smiling and joking like they usually do, which makes Izuku curl up against Zawa even more.

 

After the first scan comes the needles. He doesn’t cry when they take his blood, but he does end up pulling the first cannula out because “I don’t want any treatment!”

 

It takes ten minutes of Zashi and the technician explaining it’s not the brown bag treatment he’s getting, that he’s just getting some sugar water through his hand so the scan will light up better.

 

Izuku lets them put a second one in after that, but he’s not happy about it.

 

They have an hour after the scan before they see Takahashi-sensei, so they all go to the cafe. None of them eat, even though it’s lunch time, and Izuku spends most of his time playing on Zashi’s phone while the adults talk quietly.

 

When they arrive at Takahashi-sensei’s office, one of the nurses tells them that the doctor wants to speak to his parents alone, and she leads Izuku over to the play area.

 

Denki is there, one of the boys Izuku sees sometimes during treatment. Izuku didn’t used to like Denki very much because his treatment didn’t make his hair fall out, but now he’s older he realises that Denki is actually super funny. They play hero’s, and Denki distracts him enough that he forgets he’s waiting for Zawa and Zashi.

 

When the two finally emerge, the anxiety comes flooding back. Izuku knows something is wrong because Zawa’s eyes are redder than normal, and Zashi is wearing his sunglasses.

 

They slowly make their way over to Izuku, and it’s Zawa who crouches down and tells him quietly that it’s time to go home.

 

“Am I not seeing Takahashi-sensei?” Izuku asks, looking around for the familiar doctor, and Zawa shakes his head. “You’ll see her tomorrow,” he tells Izuku, which Izuku thinks is weird because why would he come back tomorrow if he’s here today?

 

He’s smart enough that, in the back of his mind, he knows what that means. He just doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

 

***

 

The ride back home is quiet. Zashi doesn’t put on any music, and Zawa sits in the front instead of in the back with Izuku, which makes him anxious.

 

They always said they didn’t mind that Izuku was sick, but maybe they do actually mind? Maybe they’ll leave now it’s happening again, like his mum…

 

Once they’re home, Zawa and Zashi ask Izuku to join them in the dining room, and it’s so tense that Izuku almost starts crying again. A million thoughts run around his head, like what if they’re going to leave, what if they don’t like this part of him?

 

It’s Zawa who breaks the silence. Zashi looks like he’ll cry if he opens his mouth. Izuku understands the feeling.

 

“Izuku, thank you for telling us about your bump. You were very brave and I’m really proud of you. We’re both really proud of you.” Oh. That’s not what Izuku expected. But it doesn’t mean there’s no ‘but’.

 

Zawa shifts in his seat, which is unlike him. Zawa doesn’t get uncomfortable.

 

“Izuku, I’m going to be very honest with you now, because I think you’re grown up enough to understand what I’m going to tell you, okay?” He pauses, before speaking again. “Your cancer has come back, kid. And it’s come back very aggressive, which means it’s going to make you even more sick than last time.”

 

Zashi makes a sound that he tries to play off as a cough. Izuku watches as Zawa looks to his husband, placing a hand on his knee.

 

“You need to start treatment again, very quickly, and there’s going to be a lot more of it. Takahashi-sensei wants you to start tomorrow.” That makes sense, Izuku thinks, that’s why he has to go back.

 

He feels a little bit numb. He understands what Zawa is saying. He doesn’t like it, but he’s done it before and he can do it again. Having needles isn’t his biggest worry right now, though. The anxiety is still there, and it’s still bubbling and Izuku feels like he’s going to pop.

 

He looks to Zawa after a moment, and the man looks tired. And scared. And a lot of other things that Izuku isn’t used to seeing when it comes to Zawa.

 

“Izuku, because the cancer is very aggressive this time, Takahashi-sensei doesn’t know if you’re going to get better. She’s going to try everything that she can, but she wants us to be very honest and tell you that there’s a chance that… there’s a chance that you might die.”

 

Izuku blinks a couple of times. He knows what death is. His dad died when he was young, and some of his friends died when he was in hospital. People die in movies, too, even in All Might movies where he tries his best to save everyone. But he’s not entirely sure how to process himself dying. It doesn’t really make sense. But it’s also not important right now.

 

Zawa doesn’t say anything, looking at Izuku. He’s clearly waiting for him to ask a question, or maybe even to cry or shout. And Izuku really wants to do those things, because he really doesn’t want treatment again. He doesn’t want to be sick or lose his hair again. But more importantly, he doesn’t want to be alone again.

 

“Are you going to leave?” he asks eventually, not meeting Zawa’s stare.

 

The room is quiet. He really doesn’t like how quiet the room is.

 

It’s Zashi that breaks the silence.

 

“Do you remember what I told you, after I took you to your appointment the first time?” he asks, and his voice sounds weird. It’s deep and croaky and not very Zashi-like at all. “I told you you’re stuck with us, no matter what. This is the ‘no matter what’, kiddo. We’re not going anywhere.”

 

And, at that, Izuku finally cries. Not because he’s upset or scared, but because he really loves Zashi and Zawa, and he really really doesn’t want them to leave him.

 

***

 

Izuku has his first treatment the next day, and he’s really brave about it. He doesn’t even throw up, although he’s really close to doing so on the car ride home.

 

Takahashi-sensei makes him promise to be as brave as possible, because she wants to see him ring the bell again. Izuku is determined to ring the bell again.

 

His new plan is to have treatment every week, on a Wednesday. He’s not allowed to go to school anymore, but Kacchan is allowed to visit as long as he’s not sick and he washes his hands really well. He comes over every day and teaches Izuku what they learned in class, even giving him some worksheets he stole. Izuku thinks Kacchan would be a really good teacher.

 

Three days after his third treatment, Izuku’s hair starts to fall out again. He cries, a lot, and in his anger smashes one of his All Might figurines which makes him cry even more.

 

He refuses to go in the shower for a whole week because that’s when his hair comes out the worse, and eventually Zashi bribes him with a new All Might figure and some hero-themed beanie hats to get his hair shaved off.

 

He hates it at first, but then he meets a girl at his fifth treatment who is also bald. Her name is Ochako and she refuses to wear a wig because it’s too itchy. Izuku thinks she’s really cool, and gives her his Gunhead beanie, which she proceeds to wear every week.

 

***

 

Izuku gets really sick the day before his sixth treatment with a fever and he spends a whole week in hospital. He barely remembers the first three days, but he knows Zashi and Zawa stay with him the whole time.

 

Now he no longer has hair to play with, his parents have taken to drawing circles and other shapes on the palm of his hand, and it comforts him more than anything else, even when he has to have needles and blood transfusions.

 

He bounces back quickly enough, and the day after he gets out he convinces Zashi to take him to see Ochako at the hospital. Even though he’s not having his treatment, he sits there the whole time, reading his new book on insects to her. Ochako sleeps for most of her treatment, and Izuku tells Zashi on the way home she looked really sick.

 

***

 

Ochako isn’t there when Izuku is finally allowed to start his treatments again three weeks later, which is weird because he made them wait until Wednesday just so he could have them with her.

 

He makes Zawa phone Ochako’s mum to ask where she is, and Zawa doesn’t come back until Izuku’s treatment is over.

 

He tells Izuku in the car on the way home that Ochako died the week before. He tells him that she was comfortable and wasn’t in any pain, and Izuku doesn’t understand why that matters because his friend is dead and he isn’t going to get to see her again.

 

He cries so hard that he throws up, and Zawa and Zashi let him stay in their bed that night. One of the last things he asks before he falls in to a fitful sleep is ask if he’s going to die too.

 

***

 

Zawa tells him that the treatment isn’t working three weeks later. He explains the scan shows that the cancer isn’t just in the bump in his neck anymore, but that it’s also in his lungs. It makes sense, because Izuku gets out of breath really easily nowadays.

 

He has to start a new treatment, and this one is bright red and has to go through a permanent line in his arm instead of a cannula in his hand. It also makes his pee bright red, which Izuku thinks is hilarious, and he makes both Zashi and Zawa look at it.

 

After a month of the new treatment, though, his mouth starts to get sore. By the second month, he can barely eat anything. He’s losing weight again, and his mouth is swollen and cracked and dry and Izuku spends more time crying than not.

 

Zashi and Zawa give him mouthwashes and ice cream and painkillers but nothing helps, and Takahashi-sensei explains they’re going to have to put a tube in his nose to make sure he gets enough food.

 

He spends three days in hospital after it’s put in, and he spends most of the time asleep. He feels more and more unwell every day, not even enough energy to watch a full All Might movie from start to finish.

 

Zashi and Zawa have to carry him everywhere nowadays. They suggest a wheelchair, but Izuku doesn’t want one. He insists he can walk, but only makes it a few steps before he’s dizzy and wheezing.

 

Izuku doesn’t like the tube, but Kacchan hates it even more. He gets upset and tells Izuku he looks stupid and sick and that he doesn’t want to be his friend anymore. Zawa yells at him and calls Auntie to pick him up.

 

A few days later Kacchan calls him to apologise. Izuku can tell he’s crying even over the phone, and he tells Izuku that he said those things because he was scared. Izuku doesn’t blame him. He’s scared too.

 

***

 

Izuku has treatment on his ninth birthday. He doesn’t have the energy to celebrate, so he’s not too upset about it.

 

He spends the first half of the treatment asleep on Zawa’s lap, though he wakes up when the room breaks out in to excited gasps and chatters. He’s a little confused as to why, because at first he only sees Zashi in the doorway, and Zashi isn’t that famous.

 

It doesn’t take long for Izuku to see who is behind Zashi, though, and he manages to sit up, eyes wide.

 

“Happy birthday, kiddo!” comes Zashi’s excited shout as he leads in the cast of the hero movie being released next month.

 

There’s Takeyama Yu, Kayama Nemuri, who is one of Zashi’s college friends and someone Izuku has met several times, Kamihara Shinya, Hakamada Tsunagu, and of course…

 

“Yagi-san!” Izuku calls, eyes wide.

 

The actor grins, making a beeline for Izuku.

 

“Young Midoriya! I hear it’s your birthday!”

 

Izuku grins up at his idol and nods. “I’m nine!” he tells him proudly, with more energy than he’s had in months.

 

“Really? I thought you were at least fifteen, you’re so grown up!”

 

Izuku giggles, taking Aizawa’s phone to show Yagi-san all of the All Might gifts he received this morning.

 

They talk for ages while the other actors make their rounds, and they only finish up when Izuku starts to get tired again, settling back in to Zawa’s chest.

 

“Before I go, young Midoriya, I have a gift for you of my own,” Yagi-san tells him, reaching in to his suit pocket to pull out four tickets, handing them out to Izuku who takes them with wide eyes. “There will be a private screening of the new movie next week for press and family of the cast. I’d like to invite you and your friend to come and watch, as my personal guests!”

 

Izuku tears up, holding the tickets like they’re a precious material. “Thank you,” he whispers, tears welling up in his eyes. It’s like a dream come true. Kacchan will be so excited!

 

Yagi-san grins and ruffles his beanie before leaving to meet some of the other children. By the end of his treatment, Izuku leaves with a card with signature from all the actors. He thinks he’ll give it to Kacchan.

 

***

 

Izuku is too sick to go to the private screening. He’s barely able to move, whole body aching, lungs on fire. He cried a little when he realised he wouldn’t be able to go, but barely had enough energy to cry for more than five minutes.

 

He really wants to go, more than anything, but he’s grown up enough to know that he can’t.

 

He makes Zashi phone Kacchan and promise to take him. Zawa tells him that Kacchan invited Eijiro too, which makes Izuku really happy.

 

***

 

Three days later, after an appointment with Takahashi-sensei, Izuku rings the bell.

 

She tells him he’s done really well and been really brave, and that he doesn’t need to have any more treatment. She’s crying as she says it, and gives Izuku a big hug.

 

He’s confused, though. Last time he rang the bell, he felt better. Everyone seemed happier. But this time, it feels different, and he’s not sure why.

 

Zashi reads out the words and Zawa carries him so he can reach the bell. He only manages a couple of weak pulls, but everyone claps and Izuku smiles weakly.

 

“Am I really done?” he asks softly, and Zawa nods. Izuku doesn’t notice the way tears slip down his face.

 

“Yeah, kid. You’re all done. You did so well.”

 

***

 

Izuku spends a lot of time in his bed. Either Zashi or Zawa are always by his side, sometimes both of them.

 

Kacchan and Auntie and Uncle visit too, which is nice. Kacchan shows him photos from the screening and gives him a Get Well Soon card the cast signed for him. It’s a nice day, but Izuku can’t wait until he’s better so that he can go round to their house again, because he’s bored of his room now.

 

After a few days, Zashi carries him out in to the living room, and Izuku’s eyes go wide when he sees Yagi-san waiting for him. He’s smiling, as he always is, but there’s something else to the smile. Something sad.

 

“Yagi-san,” Izuku calls softly, smiling as Zashi lowers him down on to the couch. He grunts, pain flaring up in his back, but shakes it off quickly in favour of looking up at his idol. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come. I was sick,” he tells the actor. Yagi-san just lets out his signature laugh.

 

“It’s no worries, young Midoriya! In fact, I have brought the screening to you!”

 

Yagi-san produces a disk from behind his back with a grin, and Izuku’s gives his own tired grin back in response.

 

“Really?” he asks softly.

 

Yagi-san just nods, and, with Zashi’s help, loads the movie up on to the TV.

 

Zashi leaves them alone after that, and Izuku, by some miracle, manages to stay awake for the whole movie.

 

It’s a beautiful movie, though one that Izuku a year ago would have been heartbroken over.

 

The final scene shows All Might dying to save the world, something that’s been foreshadowed from the first All Might movie. The whole time, though, All Might is brave. He dies with a smile on his face, and Izuku is crying by the end.

 

“So, my boy,” Yagi-san whispers after the end credits finish, “tell me your thoughts.”

 

Izuku swallows, trying to stifle a yawn. “It was amazing, Yagi-san,” he whispers, looking up at the man with shining eyes.

 

“I think we’re past formalities now, Midoriya-Shonen. I’m in your house, after all! Please, call me Toshi.”

 

Izuku almost cries at that. To call his idol by his first name… if he had more energy, he’d be jumping for joy and pulling the man in to a hug.

 

“It was amazing, Toshi-san. I’m sad there won’t be any more All Might movies, but he died in the best ever way. He was so brave…”

 

The actor doesn’t correct Izuku’s use of honorific, instead smiling down at the boy, allowing him to speak.

 

Izuku is quiet for a long moment, before forcing himself to sit up. He looks around the room to confirm his parents aren’t in sight, before leaning in to Toshi.

 

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asks quietly.

 

Toshi swallows and nods, and Izuku smiles.

 

“I think I’m going to die too,” he admits. He’s smart, and he knows he isn’t getting better, not like last time. He remembers Zawa’s words and how Ochako looked the last time he saw her. “But I want to smile all the way to the end, just like All Might. I want to be brave, and I want everyone to be happy.”

 

He hears Toshi choke up, but doesn’t look to the man. Instead he just looks at his own reflection in the TV screen. He doesn’t recognise himself anymore.

 

“I think…” Toshi begins, voice quiet, “I think All Might would be really proud of you, young Midoriya.”

 

***

 

Izuku gets worse, quickly.

 

Everywhere hurts and he cries a lot. It’s hard to breathe and he can’t walk and he hates it. He’s supposed to be brave like All Might, not like this.

 

He stays in Zashi and Zawa’s room now, so they can keep an eye on him even at night. Takahashi-sensei comes and puts a permanent needle in his tummy and teaches his parents how to give him pain relief through it. She tells them that usually there are nurses who they can call, but she also gives them her private number in case the doses they give him aren’t working.

 

She gives him a hug when she leaves, tells him he’s brave and that she’s proud and that she’s sorry. He’s not sure why she’s sorry, but he doesn’t have the energy to ask.

 

He wakes up that night in pain and kicking out. He’s hurting and scared and doesn’t know where he is and there’s someone holding him down. It takes a while for him to register the scared, tired looks on both Zashi and Zawa’s faces and he cries so hard he falls back to sleep.

 

***

 

When he wakes up the next time it’s light outside and Zawa is holding him and Zashi is playing with his hand. His mouth is dry and he lets out a quiet whimper, trying to ask for some water, but nothing comes out. He falls asleep quickly after that.

 

***

 

The next time he wakes up he sees Kacchan, which is odd in itself, but what’s more odd is Kacchan is hugging Mitsuki and is crying. Kacchan never cries.

 

He’s pretty sure he hears Kacchan whisper “stupid Zuku,” and Izuku lets out a quiet laugh, because that’s more like his Kacchan.

 

***

 

It must be days later when Izuku wakes up again. He has a headache and he’s gasping for breath and both of his parents are next to him looking concerned. The only reason he has any concept of how long it’s been is because Zawa’s facial hair is now bordering on a full beard.

 

“Stupid,” he whispers, and the man looks up from where he’s giving Izuku an injection.

 

“What did you say, kid?” he asks eventually, voice hoarse.

 

“Your… beard. Stupid,” Izuku manages to whisper, though it takes most of his energy to do so. He hears Zashi laugh from behind him and he smiles. He likes Zashi’s laugh. Eventually, Zawa laughs too.

 

Eventually, their laughs turn to crying, and Izuku feels someone, probably Zashi, press a kiss to his head. “I love you so much, kid. We’re going to miss you, more than anything.”

 

Izuku just smiles back. “Love you… too,” he mumbles, “best… dads. Thank… you.” He wants to say so much more, but he just can’t. He’s too tired, already half way to falling asleep again.

 

He feels himself shift and he’s being held properly, head against Zashi’s shoulder. He listens to Zawa move, and feels the other man pick up his hand.

 

“We’d do it again in a heartbeat, kiddo. Like I said, you’re stuck with us.”

 

Izuku feels himself smile as he drifts back to sleep.

 

***

 

Izuku dies two hours later in his parents’ arms.

 

A week after his death, the My Hero movie releases world-wide. At the end of the credits is a picture of Izuku in his treatment chair on his ninth birthday, surrounded by his parents and the actors who visited him.

 

Underneath are the words, “dedicated to Midoriya Izuku, who smiled all the way to the end, just like All Might.”

Notes:

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