Archive of Our Own ^beta

resfeber (n.) 1. the mixture of anxiety and anticipation before a trip. 2. the restless race of a traveler’s heart in anticipation of travel.

Countless cities, every country you could think of, all in the span of a month. That was Jisung’s life.

Being famous was never part of Jisung’s plan. Originally he had just had fun posting online. He would upload the occasional selfie or a photo of his travels. Jisung had never expected to gain a following from doing so, but as he did he learned to enjoy it. The more his platform grew, the more opportunities he was given in terms of travel or sponsorships.

Whether it was from his travel pictures or his own looks in his selfies, he wasn’t sure but he didn’t mind either way. If people chose to follow him because they found him attractive– most of said people being young women– he wouldn’t stop them. What he would never tell them, though, was that he was as straight as a circle.

Jisung wasn’t ashamed of being gay, at least he didn’t believe he was, but he knew that coming out publicly would hurt his image more than help it. He had amassed millions of followers in his few years of content creation, and most of those were women who were delusional and in love with him.

He had never even told his best friend, someone he’d known for over a decade. Jisung knew Minho was gay, out and not at all bothered by what people thought of him, but Jisung couldn’t be so free about it. No matter how much he wanted to be.

For three years he had hidden himself behind his image. He had never outright stated his sexuality, but people had just assumed from the way he carried himself and the outfits he posted that he was as straight as they came. Jisung knew there was a select group of people that respectfully speculated on every post, and he silently thanked them each time he saw them defending him in his comments. 

In his line of work, he lived a majority of his life on the road. Flight after flight, resorts and hotels, everything he could ever want– as long as he blogged about the trip. His job consisted of staying or visiting somewhere, then photographing or taking videos of said place to post online. As long as he didn’t leave a scathing review– most places barely got a con’s list– he would get paid a pretty penny each time.

His next trip was taking him to California, where he had been a few times before to visit places in Los Angeles and resorts near the Redwoods. This time, he would be visiting a getaway in the San Diego area before heading north to another resort of the same chain near Malibu. He and his manager, who happened to be Minho, decided to rent a car in San Diego and drive rather than fly so they could see more of the landscape. That had always been Jisung’s favorite part of traveling, anyway.

Sighing, Jisung closed the laptop on his lap after booking his flight before tossing it aside onto his coffee table. He stretched out his limbs and stood up before reaching for his phone to text Minho.

Flight all booked, get packin , he sent, receiving an instant thumbs up in return. Minho was never very good at texting, not that Jisung minded.

He and Minho had been friends for so long, it was easy to understand him even with the small amount he sent in his responses each time. As long as Jisung’s business was taken care of by one of them, they were good. Even though Minho was his manager in a technical sense– seeing as he paid him to follow him around– he liked to do some tasks himself. Jisung always wrote, edited, and posted everything himself while Minho did most of the photography and filming for him– unless it was selfies, vlogging, or nature shots, then Jisung took care of those himself. He was also usually in charge of working with Jisung’s partners and sponsors, though they sometimes shared those tasks.

Jisung loved working with Minho. Who wouldn’t love traveling the world with their best friend and getting paid for it? There was just one slight problem.

Jisung was hopelessly in love with his best friend.

He had realized it before ever beginning his social media journey. At the time, he had been debating coming out and hoping the other man would reciprocate his feelings, but once he started posting online and snowballing his following into the millions, he knew he couldn’t.

As far as Minho knew, Jisung was as straight as an arrow and it would stay that way.

He shook off his thoughts, not wanting to dig himself into a hole at the moment. All too often Jisung would reminisce on what could have been different if he had just manned up and admitted everything years ago.

There was no time for that now, though. He needed to pack. Their flight was leaving in only a few days; a common occurrence in his line of work. 

Jisung dragged himself through his bedroom and into his completely unnecessary walk-in closet. Since moving into this apartment a year ago, he had accumulated a large amount of clothing that sat and gathered dust. Jisung had a bad habit of buying or receiving clothes and never putting them to use.

Digging out a suitcase from the corner of the closet, he threw it open and let the lid fall to the floor. He gazed around trying to decide what to bring. He knew California was hot, especially during this time of the year, but he wasn’t sure if he would need layers for nighttime.

He settled on adding in a couple sweatshirts and some jeans on top of his plethora of shorts and tees, knowing he likely wouldn’t make use of any of them. 

Once he piled it all in, most definitely not folded nicely, he forced the top closed and sat on the suitcase to zip it. Another bad habit of his was over packing.

Though there was nothing more Jisung wanted than to relax and sleep, he knew he had work to do. He hauled the stuffed suitcase into his kitchen so he wouldn’t somehow forget it before his flight before he went back to the couch.

Jisung threw himself down on the plush surface, pulling his laptop back into his lap to work on writing. It had only been a few days since he had gotten back from his last trip, this one being a domestic trip to the countryside for a stay at some overly extravagant and exclusive resort on the sea. He knew none of his followers would ever go somewhere like that, but they had given him an all expenses paid stay for an entire week. The least he could do was write a nice review.

The rest of the night was spent writing the all too long review and editing footage of the resort. Before he knew it, Jisung was drifting to sleep with his head against the back of his couch and his laptop slipping from his legs.

✈︎

The next few days were filled with much of the same routine– wake up, eat, work out, edit, eat, sleep. Jisung spent an hour or so one day putting together the perfect outfit just to take a mirror selfie in his closet to post on his social media.

Finally their flight crept up on him, causing him to panic and rush around his apartment making sure he wasn’t missing anything.

Jisung heard the keypad on his door beep, signaling that someone was entering the code on the outside. He slid out of his bedroom, leaning his hip against the kitchen island as he waited for them to enter.

A moment later Minho entered, looking as perfect as ever. Jisung thought no one could pull off the simplest of outfits, that being a t–shirt and sweatpants, as well as he could. The plain black shirt hugged his torso in all the right places, and don’t even get Jisung started on the grey sweatpants or he’d never stop.

He was in deep.

Jisung snapped himself out of his stare, wiping his mouth indiscreetly in case he happened to drool at the pure eye candy in front of him.

Minho rolled his suitcase in, closing the door behind him. He glanced over and gave Jisung a perfect smile, which the younger man tried to return without looking like he was grimacing.

“Morning Sung-ah. Ready?” Minho said, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check their schedule.

Jisung nodded before he remembered his best friend wasn’t looking at him, so he let out a small, “Yep.”

He didn’t like how weak his voice sounded in his head.

The older man looked up at him through his bangs, the stray pieces of hair framing his deep eyes perfectly. He shot Jisung a small smirk, the younger unsure if it even happened before it was gone.

Jisung was just going insane. That must be it.

It took him a moment to realize the hair falling over Minho’s forehead was no longer its reddened, dark ginger shade, but now a deep ebony black.

“You dyed your fucking hair?” Jisung screeched, covering his mouth as he gasped.

A laugh rang out from his friend, a sound so perfect to Jisung’s ears he thought he had died and gone to heaven at that moment. Minho’s laughter sounded like angels singing.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to notice,” Minho spoke between fits of laughter. “That was a lot shorter than I thought.”

Jisung put a hand over his heart in feigned offense. “What do you take me for? Of course I’d notice!”

This just caused Minho to chuckle more, shaking his head in response. Jisung felt a swell of pride in his chest for being the cause of the laughter, though that was often the case.

Minho tucked his phone back in his pocket after a moment and set his palms flat on the marble countertop.

“So, ready to go? I booked a car to take us to the airport already."

Jisung nodded, sliding over to grab his luggage from beside the kitchen island, swinging his carry–on tote over his shoulder. He made one last sweep around the apartment to check for any lights on before they both wheeled their suitcases out the door. They both made sure to have masks in hand on their way out.

The trip downstairs was quick and their car was already parked outside as they exited the building’s front doors. Minho helped Jisung load their luggage into the trunk before they both clambered into the back seats.

The younger’s apartment was only a short drive from the airport, which they both spent on their phones dealing with sponsor proposals and discussing the terms in hushed voices. Jisung was quite picky when it came to signing deals– he rarely agreed to brand deals as they usually had insane terms for promotions that he simply didn’t have the time or desire to deal with. Oftentimes he opted to work with vacation companies, staying at and reviewing their top rated resorts and vacation spots. His email was always filled with clothing, cosmetic and hygiene brands trying to get him to promote their products, to which he usually ignored or simply declined. Only on rare occasions would he accept product deals, and even then he would usually combine their posts and promotions with his travel posts to try and keep his travel blog the most prominent part of his social media presence.

Minho leaned over in his seat, showing Jisung his phone screen that held a proposal for another deal. His face held a knowing smile. “I know you don’t like clothing brand deals but this is one of my favorite brands.”

Jisung gave him a look but nodded with a sigh. He ended up giving more than half of his brand deal clothing to Minho anyway.

They pulled up to the airport soon after and they climbed out before lugging their bags out of the trunk. Once inside, getting through security and border check was simple with their express lane access– courtesy of the resort’s parent company.

When their passports were checked and Minho had his mask pulled down to confirm his identity, Jisung couldn’t help but stare from the side as he waited his turn. This new hair color suited Minho well, even if Jisung knew it was almost his natural hair color. It had been a while since Minho had such dark hair, the last time Jisung had seen his natural hair was before they even graduated high school. The way Minho’s bangs settled over his brows drew Jisung in, the depth of his eyes being amplified by the dark tone.

Any color would suit him, but Jisung decided Minho’s natural color was his favorite.

Their flight boarded not long after they got through security, and soon enough Jisung was seated beside Minho in a private First Class pod and trying his best not to feel giddy every time their arms brushed.

✈︎

By the time they’d landed in San Diego, Jisung had been knocked out for hours. He hadn’t remembered falling asleep with a blanket over him, but definitely woke up with one. Jisung hadn’t mentioned it to Minho, but he knew the other man was the one that did it. Little acts like that were Minho’s speciality. He wasn’t the type to voice his feelings, but he showed them instead.

Now, as they made their way into the resort lobby, he had to force the thoughts out of his head for his own sanity.

Minho doesn’t like you like that, idiot. He repeated the mantra in his head all the way to the counter to check in.

Their luggage was quickly taken from them to be delivered to their room. The concierge invited them to explore the amenities in the main building, but also gave them their key cards if they wished to head to their room first. After a brief shared look, they silently decided to check out their room first and relax after the long day of travel.

One thing they knew to always request was two beds, if not two separate bedrooms. This resort was extravagant– and that was an understatement. They had given them a suite with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a full living space.

The two found their way outside into the heat that just seemed to continue increasing the longer they were in the elements.

Jisung tried to fight off the exhaustion he felt creeping into his bones as they walked down a boardwalk style path along the sand. The bungalows and suites were all detached, each their own little building right up against the beach. He enjoyed these styles of resorts rather than large hotels with one building— it felt more open and there was always beautiful landscaping and nature to enjoy. This resort was no different, with tropical plants and palm trees at every corner.

Their flight had landed late into the afternoon, meaning the sun was already beginning to set on the horizon of the ocean. The sky was swathed in a kaleidoscope of colors, as if brushed by a master painter. Perhaps his friend Hyunjin.

Jisung took the opportunity to gaze at Minho, who was slightly ahead of him. In the glow of the late afternoon, his skin was honey, golden. His dark hair swept over his forehead in a nearly perfect manner. Jisung found it unfair how chiseled his jaw was, how perfectly his nose sloped.

He was forced out of his rather obvious staring when Minho stopped in front of a large bungalow nearly on the beach. He paused, turning to Jisung, who felt red hot as he averted his gaze as quickly as possible.

If Minho noticed, he said nothing. He simply moved forward, swiping the keycard and pushing open the door.

As soon as Jisung crossed the threshold, he was hit with an overpowering aroma of seawater— even more potent than the ocean right outside. The air was salty, somewhat floral, but most just salty. He looked around the main space, observing their room for the next three days. It was extremely modern, the small kitchenette held stainless steel appliances and marble countertops. In front of the door was a small dinette, the table a dark mahogany. Across the room he could see a wall of windows, beyond which he could see the horizon of the setting sun over the ocean, along with a sliding door that led to a deck on the other side of the windows. In front of the windows was a lavish living room, the plush couches looking inviting in his exhaustion. On the other side of the room was a single door, each leading to their own bedroom and ensuite bathroom. Their luggage sat propped beside one of the doors, piled on top of each other.

Jisung blushed at the thought that pricked his mind; the concierge may have been under the impression they’d be sharing a room.

Minho shuffled in behind him, closing the door once he was in. When Jisung toed his shoes off and stepped further into the room, his eyes landed on the culprit of the overwhelming saltwater scent. On the kitchen counter sat a diffuser, puffing out the aroma on timed increments. He instantly reached over and unplugged it from the wall.

“Too much?” Minho joked, following him in.

Jisung groaned. “Why have that when the ocean is right there ?” To emphasize his point, he thrust his arm out to point at the ocean just beyond their windows.

“For the ambience , Hannie.” He wiggled his fingers in a teasing manner before turning around to collect his luggage.

With Minho’s back to him, Jisung took the opportunity to observe his friend’s back. The shirt he was wearing was tight against his muscles, allowing him to see each movement as he bent down to sort out their bags. When he lifted his own from the pile, Jisung saw the flexing of his shoulder blades, the muscles shifting under the black material.

He tore his gaze away as soon as Minho stood back up, pretending to have been eyeing the room. He pursed his lips, eyes wide is false fascination as he rotated his head towards the windows.

Minho rolled his suitcase over to the other bedroom, allowing Jisung to take what was likely the master bedroom without complaint.

As he opened the door, he paused and turned his head to look at Jisung. “What’s the plan?”

As if on cue, Jisung yawned. Minho chuckled, putting a hand on the doorframe. It was unfairly attractive, the way he leaned into his arm and stared at Jisung with such intensity.

“I’m a little tired,” Jisung spoke the obvious, “but don’t feel like you have to stay with me. If you’re not hungry, I think I might nap for a bit until dinner?”

Minho nodded. “I was thinking of going to the pool across from us. Cool off a little.”

“You can barely swim, hyung.”

“I’ll stay where I can touch.” Minho rolled his eyes, as if Jisung’s concern wasn’t warranted. “I’m a big boy, Sung-ah.”

Jisung shrugged, crossing over to his own luggage. He hoisted it up so he could roll it into the bedroom. Turning the knob, he pushed the door open and thrust his bag into the room.

“I’ll be up in an hour,” he called over his shoulder. “Don’t drown!”

As he closed the door behind him, he heard Minho’s melodic laughter echo through the living space.

The bedroom was just as modern as the main living area, complete with led lighting under the bed frame. It was, over, much warmer overall. The wall behind the bed was painted a warm, welcoming shade of orange without being too gaudy. There were tropical plants in a few empty spaces, likely fake but a nice touch nonetheless. The wall opposite the bed held horizontal wooden slats with a large television mounted on it. There was tasteful, tropical theme wall art throughout. It felt well designed, but not too cheesy for the location.

He would make sure to add that to his review.

Jisung rolled his luggage over to the empty space at the end of the bed, turning it on its side so he could unzip it later. He didn’t bother doing so now, but instead shrugged off his hoodie, leaving himself in just his t-shirt and shorts. He fished his phone out of his pocket and set an alarm for an hour before setting it on the nightstand.

He slid his legs under the sheets of the bed and settled quickly. The bed was even more comfortable than his own back home, something he had never encountered in any of the countless resorts he’d been to in the last three years. That would definitely be getting extra points in his blog post.

As soon as he shut his eyes, he was out.

Hands wrapped around his wrists, tugging him close to another body. They wrapped around him, holding him against a firm chest that felt oddly familiar.

When Jisung looked up, the face of his best friend was only inches from his own.

They stood on the beach, their feet bare and toes digging into the sand. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, the vivid kaleidoscope of hues streaking the sky in a beautiful mosaic.

Minho smiled at him, removing one of his hands from Jisung’s back to brush his fingers against his jawline.

“You’re beautiful, Hannie.”

Then, he leaned down and pressed his lips to Jisung’s.

An explosion of emotions overtook Jisung, and he froze for only a moment before his brain caught up to him. He scrambled to return the kiss, bringing a hand up to fist Minho’s shirt.

When they parted, Minho’s smile shined brighter than the setting sun.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Jisung heard nothing. The more he ‘spoke’, the louder an odd siren-like sound came from his throat.

Jisung blinked, the sound getting even louder.

When he squeezed his eyes shut to fix whatever was happening to his ears, the world shattered.

The shrill tone of his alarm tore him from his deep sleep. Jisung groaned, squinting away the sleep and blinking rapidly as he blindly felt around for his phone. He slammed his finger against it with a groan, silence filling the room.

Had he just had a dream about Minho? A romantic dream about him?

He stared up at the ceiling with a sigh. He knew he was hopelessly in love with Minho, but he had never dreamt about it. That was insanity. Pining while awake was bad enough, but to pine in his dreams? There was no way he was letting himself live that down.

It had been so oddly realistic, the feeling of Minho’s hands on him, the touch of their lips. It felt real, tangible.

But Jisung knew it wasn’t. It never would be.

With a huff he threw the blanket off his body, suddenly too hot for it. He forced himself to swing his legs off the bed and trek into the bathroom, flicking the light on with a blind hand.

The bathroom matched the bedroom perfectly, tropical and modern all at once.

Jisung stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were droopy, still exhausted. His bleached hair was a mess, sticking up in every possible direction. Reaching up, he tried his best to make it presentable as he flicked the faucet on with his other hand. Cupping his hands under the water, he leaned down and splashed some on his face in an attempt to both wake himself up and make his expression appear less tired.

When done, he dragged himself back into his bedroom and unzipped his suitcase, flipping it open to rifle through for an outfit suitable for dinner.

He threw on the first thing he saw, which happened to be a designer shirt that had absolutely no indication that it was designer other than the smallest logo over the heart. Had it not been insanely soft, he would have tossed it or given it to one of his friends when he received it.

Digging through his camera gear to find his vlogging camera, Jisung slid the slim camera into his shorts pocket where it fit perfectly. Once he deemed himself presentable enough, he trudged out into the living room to see if Minho was back yet.

The universe had truly decided it wanted to make Jisung suffer, because as soon as he stepped into the living room, the front door opened and a shirtless Minho, hair dripping wet, stepped into the suite.

“Oh, you’re awake!” He spotted Jisung immediately, beaming at him as he used the towel draped around his shoulders to try and dry off more of the water in his hair.

Jisung blinked. “Uh— yeah, just woke up.”

He tracked Minho’s every move as he crossed to his room. Jisung attempted to stop staring, he really did, but the tan expanse of Minho’s back was too tempting. Not to mention the toned skin of his stomach when he turned back to Jisung.

“Okay, so it’s—” he paused, looking at his phone in his hand, “seven thirty. The restaurant closes at ten. Do you want to go now? I just need to take a quick shower.”

Jisung didn’t trust his voice, so he only nodded, relief flooding him when Minho smiled, cat-like and soft. He watched Minho turn back to his room and disappear behind the door. Less than a minute later, he heard the shower in Minho’s bathroom spring on, the muted sound of the water hitting the floor carrying through the wall.

He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting down on it, though not hard enough to draw blood.

It’s completely normal to look at attractive men , he tried to tell himself. But it wasn’t normal to eye fuck your best friend, especially one that didn’t know you swung that way.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to distract himself by going through his email some more.  His inbox was always full, though half of what he received he’d end up deleting. Or more accurately, Minho would delete. Jisung was just too lazy to do so, and it seemed to bother Minho so much that he deleted them all himself weekly.

Scrolling aimlessly through the immeasurable number of emails— over seven thousand, if he glanced at the bubble on the corner of the app before he opened it— he stopped once in a while when one caught his eye. Usually something retreat related, or a clothing brand he loved that wanted to work with him. Instead of replying to them, he flagged them for later viewing.

It wasn’t long before the sound of the water stopped and Jisung had to force his heart back into his chest. The likelihood that Minho would come out fully dressed and ready to go was much higher than him coming out in any other state. But the chance was never zero.

When Minho stepped out of his room, still tugging his shirt over his head with his abs on full display, Jisung decided the universe was truly against him.

He averted his gaze with a squeak, hoping that Minho hadn’t heard it. When his friend said nothing, he exhaled slowly, attempting to regulate the rapid beating of his heart.

Minho had never had such an effect on him and he wasn’t sure why it was happening now, but he cursed himself internally for allowing it.

When his shirt was finally over his head and draped over his torso, Minho approached Jisung. “Ready to go?”

Jisung nodded too quickly to be natural, but Minho said nothing. Instead, he moved past the counter and ruffled Jisung’s hair in the process. It was a normal enough interaction for their friendship, but Jisung was so on edge he nearly leaned into the touch. As if he were a cat. Embarrassing.

He trailed after Minho as he opened the front door. The sun was completely set outside now, the path lit by solar lanterns stuck into the ground at varying intervals along their way.

The atmosphere was much too romantic for Jisung’s overly reactive heart.

Fighting the urge to grab Minho’s hand and slip his own fingers in between his, he shoved his hands in his pockets. They walked in silence, listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore behind them, the sound fading the further they ventured from their suite. Jisung could hear people hanging round by the pool to their right, the same one Minho had just been at. Hearing so many people, he suddenly found himself wishing he’d gone with.

They reached the main building minutes later. It was still bustling, people loitering around and filtering in and out of the larger bar that the main building held. Minho guided Jisung through the lobby to the restaurant, glancing back every so often to make sure he didn’t stray far. Jisung appreciated the sentiment, but wished he would just drag him along by his hand.

For nearly eight in the evening, the restaurant was much busier than Jisung expected. There were couples and families occupying most tables, lost in their own worlds. He couldn’t help but notice just how many couples there were.

Minho politely told the host how many people were in their party and they were promptly escorted to a table far in the back of the dining room up against floor to ceiling walls that looked out towards the darkened beach in the distance.

As soon as they were seated, Minho slipped his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through Jisung’s email and their schedule for the week. Jisung’s heart dropped ever so slightly.

“So,” He began, eyes glued to his screen, “we’re here for the next three days. What’s the plan?”

Jisung leaned back in his seat, directing his eyes towards the night outside. There wasn’t much to see, but it was better than staring at the back of Minho’s phone. “I was thinking of vlogging a little tomorrow. Check out some of the amenities, film it, all that.”

Minho hummed. “Need me to follow you around and be your little photographer?”

Jisung sputtered, eyes darting to Minho who was glancing up at him over the top of his phone, smirk tugging at his lips.

“That is not— I mean, no. I can handle myself, hyung.” He felt his face burning red hot, and Minho’s chuckle only confirmed his fear.

Minho’s attention turned back to his phone, but Jisung swore he heard an unmistakable ‘ cute’ under his breath. He tried not to dwell on it.

“So I can go let myself shrivel up in the pool all day?” He asked, not looking up from his phone.

Jisung scoffed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, hyung. Probably bad for your skin.”

He watched Minho shrug, but the older man said nothing.

It was moments like this that Jisung wished he had been honest with Minho earlier in life. After knowing the man for over a decade, since he was merely thirteen, it was hard to continue keeping his secret. If he’d only been honest from the jump, there was a chance he could have had everything he wanted now— his job and Minho. Minho as his, not just his friend and manager. He'd be able to reach across the table and slide his fingers in between Minho’s, play footsie under the table, kiss him without abandon.

But he wasn’t honest, and it was too late to come clean.

At that moment, their waiter came to introduce himself and take their drink orders. Jisung ordered an overly expensive wine he couldn’t be bothered to pronounce properly while Minho rolled his eyes at him. Then, he ordered the exact same thing, staring at Jisung while he pronounced it perfectly.

When the waiter left, Jisung glared at him. “You just had to one up me, huh?”

Minho hummed in affirmation. “Gotta keep you in your place, Hannie.” Then he turned his attention to his menu.

Sighing, Jisung looked down at his own. Deciding on something completely random, he slipped his own phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through his email, switching between that and social media to curb his boredom. He felt like a pathetic child, unable to handle not having his friend’s attention.

Their waiter returned with their wine, two glasses in one hand and the entire bottle clutched in his other fist. He set the glasses down in front of them and made a show of pouring it, waiting patiently for both of them to taste test, smiling wide when Jisung made a show of smacking his lips together in satisfaction. Then, after taking their orders, he bowed deeply and excused himself, leaving them to their silence again.

“He acted like he fermented that wine himself.” Minho commented, his gaze back on his phone screen.

Jisung raised a brow. “Maybe he did, hyung. You don’t know his hobbies.”

Minho tilted his phone down, narrowing his gaze at Jisung with a straight lipped expression. Jisung only shrugged, innocently batting his lashes at the elder. Snorting, Minho shook his head and turned his attention back to his phone. Jisung’s mood instantly plummeted once again.

When their food finally came, the two ate in silence. It wasn’t unusual, especially given that they’d been traveling all day, but it still made Jisung sad. They’d been friends for so long it was normal for there to be lulls in the conversation, but that didn’t make him any more comfortable with it.He gave Minho no chance to pay the bill when it came— not that the elder even moved to grab it. It was their unspoken arrangement. Jisung paid for him every time, and Minho had stopped trying years ago.

The sky was a deep navy blue when they exited the main building again. There weren’t many stars visible as they were in the city, which made the vast expanse above them seem infinitely larger. Jisung felt tiny, like a speck of nothingness beneath it. In reality, he was. Just a speck upon a floating rock in the middle of a void. Just a speck, but one that had millions of other specks following his every move. Sometimes, he wished he was just a normal speck.

Halfway down the path back to their suite, Jisung paused. The solar lights lining the path lit up the area enough for him to get a quick vlog segment for the night, even if the footage would be dark and a little unappealing to watch.

“Hyung, I’m gonna record a little update,” Jisung called as Minho continued walking, unaware Jisung stopped.

Minho turned and looked at him, and in the dim lighting Jisung couldn’t quite see his expression well, but he didn’t miss the way the corners of his mouth dropped.

“Okay,” Minho said back, voice even. “I’ll walk back. You okay on your own?”

Jisung nodded, pulling the vlogging camera from his pocket. Minho nodded, and with a little wave, turned back to head down the path. Jisung watched him go, his heart sinking further into the pit of his stomach with every step the elder took.

Turning on the camera in his hands and flipping the screen to be able to see himself, Jisung took a deep breath before hitting the record button. Even three years into his career, talking to a camera and watching what he said was always nerve-wracking. One wrong move could end his entire career. Plus, talking to yourself on camera never got any less weird.

“Hey guys, I’m in San Diego and I just wanted to give you a little update on my first day…”

He continued to ramble for some time, the dark veil of the night making it difficult for him to show off the resort itself but he promised to show it more the next day when he ventured around.

When resort guests passed by, he awkwardly stopped the recording, lowered his arm to his side and stepped off the side of the path to allow them to pass with a strained smile. Even though he was relatively well known, it was always an awkward situation when people witnessed him recording. Imposter syndrome often took over, making Jisung feel as if he were a wannabe influencer pretending to be someone big and fancy for the camera. In some ways, that felt as real to him as his actual status. Popular, but never quite feeling like he was.

Sometimes, it felt like high school all over again. Few friends, and an awkward personality that warranted the occasional shove from a bully or two.

Minho had changed that. When Jisung met the elder, he found someone to help him feel wanted. To belong.

After Jisung met Minho, no bully ever shoved him again.

When Jisung finished up recording and headed back  to his suite, he hoped Minho would be awake so they could discuss their plans for the next day. He wanted to spend as much of it with his friend as possible— that wasn’t always the case during their trips, and it made a guilty feeling settle in Jisung’s stomach each time. He knew Minho was capable of taking care of himself, and he was sure the elder enjoyed his alone time— especially at five star, off the wall fancy resorts— but Jisung selfishly wanted to spend every moment he could with Minho.

To Jisung’s disappointment, when he pushed the door to their suite open, it was dark inside. The living room was empty, and the door to Minho’s bedroom was closed. Light leaked out from the crack under the door, and Jisung could hear the slight sound of a video playing. He knew Minho tended to watch videos and scroll through his phone before he slept, so he was likely asleep or close to it.

Not wanting to disturb his friend, Jisung tiptoed to his room and prepared for bed as quietly as possible.

As he laid in the bed that was way too big for just him, he couldn’t help but wish— not for the first time— that a certain someone was sharing it with him.

✈︎

They started their morning late. Rather, Jisung started his morning late. Minho woke him when the sky was halfway to its peak, banging on his door and shouting for him to get up.

“That was entirely uncalled for,” Jisung grumbled as he dragged himself out of his room and to the living room where Minho was fully dressed and scrolling through his phone.

Minho glanced at him briefly, taking in his still ruffled appearance, before returning to his phone. “It’s almost eleven.”

“And?”

“And,” Minho drawled out, setting his phone in his lap. “You were the one that said you had a job to do.”

Groaning, Jisung threw himself down and nestled into Minho’s side. Maybe it was a selfish excuse just to get close to him, but he was tired and Minho was warm. Either way, Minho didn’t move him off. He let him snuggle into him easily, even sagging himself down further so Jisung had a shoulder to lean on without craning his neck.

They sat like that for some time; Jisung reveling in their close proximity and Minho simply existing, having gone back to his phone. Jisung knew he did have a job to do, Minho wasn’t wrong about that, but he wished he could stay on the couch all day.

“Wanna go swimming?” Minho suddenly asked, thumb still scrolling.

Jisung tilted his head against Minho’s shoulder, trying to see his expression. “You can’t swim.”

An eye roll was barely visible. “As we’ve established. We can stay in the shallows or just go to the beach.”

“The beach sounds nice, but I do want to actually swim. Beach then pool?”

Minho shook his head. “Pool then beach. I’m not going to be the one responsible for tracking kilos of sand into the pools.”

Huffing, Jisung pushed himself to sit up, forcing himself not to mourn the loss of heat out loud.

“Okay, I’ll go get ready,” he decided, jumping to his feet with a sudden burst of energy.

Jisung liked swimming, a lot. He wasn’t the best swimmer, but he loved water. When he was a kid, his grandparents had a fancy in-ground pool and it was almost impossible to get him out in the summer. He would wade for hours in the shallow depths or float on his back until his front was burnt and crispy from the sun. He was convinced if he stayed in long enough, he’d become a mermaid. Even at 24, he had the tiniest inkling in the back of his mind that there had to be a way.

But that was his youthful side, the one he’d pushed back when he began his blog. Now, he needed to hold himself that much more seriously— no time for silly childhood fairytales. 

He changed in his room quickly, throwing on a pair of swim shorts and a loose tee before he nearly sprinted back to the living room. Minho was now at the kitchen counter, leaning against the marble and whistling aimlessly.

“Got everything?” He asked, looking up at Jisung. Jisung nodded, but then paused and turned on his heel and stepped back into his room. He grabbed his vlogging camera and the waterproof case for it from his camera bag and returned to the kitchen.

“Now I do,” he grinned, holding up the items. Minho rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the counter and stepping over to the door.

They decided on the pool Minho had been in the day before, since it seemed to have a large wading area— definitely not meant for children, that would be absurd— and plenty of space for Jisung to swim around in the deep end if he chose to.

When they got to the gate that encased the pool, they could see it wasn’t very busy despite it being nearly the middle of the day. The sun was beating overhead, making sweat already drip off Jisung’s forehead from the short walk, so it made sense people wouldn’t necessarily want to be outside in the sun when there were plenty of things to do inside as well as covered pools indoors.

They found a table to set their items down and Jisung slid his sandals off before tugging his shirt over his head. When the material cleared his head, his eyes caught Minho’s gaze before the elder turned his head rapidly. Jisung raised a brow but said nothing, tossing his shirt onto the table and stepping over to the pool with his camera in hand.

He wasn’t oblivious to how he looked— he knew he was attractive. But Minho had rarely glanced his way like that, so Jisung had given up all hope on such thoughts. But maybe, just maybe, he’d been wrong?

Dipping his toes in, Jisung made sure to swing his hips more than usual as he took the steps down into the shallow half of the pool, just in case. When Minho joined him, he swore he saw the distinct cherry staining on the tips of his ears.

Since there were only a few other guests in the area, Jisung didn’t have to worry too much about being watched when he vlogged. He positioned himself on the edge of the pool, leaning against the wall at a depth that had his torso half covered by the water. Minho waded around on the other side, out of view of the camera, splashing around in the water aimlessly. Jisung admired him for a moment, getting lost in the way Minho moved around so delicately– almost as if he was afraid of hurting the water.

Jisung shook himself out of it when Minho glanced up at him, raising a brow when he caught him staring. He tore his gaze away, pretending to mess with the settings on his camera before he raised it and pressed record.

He talked to himself for a little while in bursts, switching between lazily wading around in the water to rambling on about how nice the weather is. Each time he paused, he risked a glance in Minho’s direction.

The elder was leaning back, head tilted up towards the sky with his eyes closed. He was in a deep enough area of the pool that the water reached his shoulders, wetting his hair when he tilted back. Jisung knew he was too scared to float completely above the water with no footing on the bottom, so he found it adorable that this was the closest Minho could get.

After a while, Jisung deemed his filming complete so he climbed out of the pool and hid the camera under his shirt on the table, making sure it didn’t look too obvious before he headed back into the pool and joined Minho.

“Enjoying yourself?” He laughed as he approached. Minho squinted as he opened one eye, raising a hand out of the water to cover his eyes and glance at Jisung.

He nodded, the water rippling around his head. “Relaxing.”

“Do you want to actually float?”

Minho lowered his head to fully look at Jisung, eyebrow raised. “You know I can’t.”

“I’ll hold you up,” Jisung said, moving forward. He reached his arms out, slipping one around Minho’s back. “Only if you want to, though.”

After a moment of thought, Minho nodded shortly. Jisung beamed at him, grin rivaling the sun. He bent his knees slightly until he could slide his other arm under Minho’s knees. Instructing Minho to wrap an arm around his shoulder, Jisung helped him slowly tip backwards, lifting his feet off the pool floor until his body was parallel with the water’s surface.

“I won’t let go unless you want me to.” Jisung murmured, allowing Minho to get used to the change of position.

This wasn’t the first time they’d done this. It was rare, but sometimes it was clear to Jisung that Minho just wanted to be able to relax without the inherent fear of drowning anytime he went into a body of water. So the first time he noticed it, he’d offered to do this exact thing. Minho had taken him up on it only after incessant nagging from the younger, but he’d budged easier the more recent times.

“You can–” Minho began, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back. “You can let go, I think.”

“You sure?”

Minho hummed, not opening his eyes. Jisung slowly let his hands fall further into the water, leaving Minho’s back and legs. The elder stayed afloat, only sinking down slightly with the loss of an anchor.

Whenever Jisung did this, he made sure to keep his hands hovering under Minho. He never strayed far, making sure Minho was aware he was ready to help him back into a standing position if he felt too uneasy or started to lose his center of gravity and sink down. He was sure Minho would be fine on his own, but he didn’t want him to grow an even worse aversion to water.

Like this, Jisung was able to gaze at his friend without any worry of being caught. Minho often fell into a trance-like state when doing this– so peaceful he tuned out all of his surroundings. Not that Jisung minded; this way, he could stare all he wanted.

It was like taking the last cookie in the jar at his grandmother’s house. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he was so tempted he couldn’t help it. To anyone else, it would probably look like he was just so enamored that he couldn’t tear his gaze away, which wasn’t far from the truth. But rather than being enamored by someone that was his, he could do nothing but silently pine.

“Okay, I’m done.” Minho spoke, his voice small and soft. Jisung quickly moved his hand into place on Minho’s back, assisting him to sit up and get his feet back on the ground. His hair was soaked now, dripping around his face and sticking to the skin of his cheeks. He looked like a god straight out of a movie– perfectly sculpted, glowing in the sun’s rays.

“Had enough?” Jisung teased, trying not to openly stare at his friend.

Minho nodded. “Yeah. It’s… a lot, sometimes.” Then, he locked eyes with Jisung, his ears tinting ever so slightly red. “Thank you, Hannie.”

“Of course, hyung.”

They decided they’d had enough of the pool when the sun lost altitude in the sky. It was still early afternoon, so they climbed out of the water and grabbed their belongings. Jisung guided them down to the beach which was more occupied than the pool was. Couples and families scattered the sand, taking up a majority of the umbrella-covered loungers that spanned the length of the beach.

He located an empty pair and led Minho over, setting his items down on the small table that held the umbrella. They both claimed their chairs and laid back, relaxing in the shade with the smell of the ocean filling their nostrils.

It was much more peaceful than Jisung had expected, just laying there and enjoying the air. He wasn’t usually one to enjoy laying down and not doing anything, but the sound of the waves hitting the coast and the scent of saltwater filling his senses made him somewhat drowsy. The gentle breeze and rhythmic crash of the waves lulled him into a state of tranquility, his eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.

He glanced over at Minho, who was tapping away on his phone, probably checking emails or making notes about their plans. Jisung wanted to tease him about never truly relaxing but found himself too content to muster the energy. Instead, he allowed his eyes to flutter shut, the warmth of the sun filtering through the umbrella and wrapping him in a cozy embrace.

Sleep claimed him quickly, pulling him into a series of fragmented dreams filled with the sound of laughter and the scent of the ocean. Time slipped by unnoticed until he felt a gentle nudge on his shoulder. Blinking his eyes open, he was met with the sight of Minho crouching beside him, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Minho murmured, “the sun’s starting to set. We should head back.”

Jisung stretched, feeling the pleasant ache of a long nap in his muscles. He nodded, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he sat up. The beach was bathed in the golden hues of the setting sun, casting long shadows and painting the sky in vibrant shades of orange and pink.

“How long was I out?” He questioned, sitting up fully and throwing his legs over the edge of the chair, burning his feet in the sand.

Minho checked his phone. “Two hours, I think? I just worked on replying to a bunch of emails you flagged.”

“Hyung!” Jisung whined, pouting. “You should have woken me!”

“It’s fine, Sung. You deserve the rest.”

Warmth spread through Jisung’s veins, heating him from the inside while the sun warmed his skin outside. Minho didn’t often express his affections, and Jisung knew by now that watching over him and taking care of him was a way that Minho showed that he cared. It made him feel loved, wanted, like the most perfect shell that was spent hours looking for in the sand.

Gathering their belongings, they made their way back up the beach, their footsteps leaving a trail in the soft sand. The resort’s main building loomed in the distance, but they veered off towards the path that led to their suite. The palm trees swayed in the subtle wind, rustling and casting waving shadows on the wavement below their feet.

As they reached the entrance, Minho unlocked the door and held it open for Jisung. The interior was cool and inviting, a stark contrast to the warm hues of the setting sun outside. Jisung wandered in, dropping his belongings on the counter and heading straight for the comfortable couch that dominated the living area.

“I’m gonna grab a quick shower,” Minho announced, already making his way towards his bedroom. Jisung nodded absently, his thoughts drifting back to the beach and the peaceful nap he’d just woken from.

He stretched out on the couch, listening to the sound of the shower running and the distant hum of the air conditioning. Despite the nap, he still felt pleasantly tired, the kind of exhaustion that comes from a day well spent.

When Minho emerged, looking refreshed and relaxed in only a pair of gym shorts, Jisung smiled at him. He tried his best not to stare at the bare expanse of skin across Minho’s chest. “Feel better?”

“Much,” Minho replied, ruffling his damp hair with a towel. “You should take one too. It’ll help you wake up.”

Jisung nodded, pushing himself off the couch and heading towards his own room and into the bathroom. He quickly stripped, dropping his swim shorts onto the counter and climbed into the shower. The shower was refreshing, washing away the remnants of the beach and the lazy afternoon. He spent a majority of the time thinking back to the events of the day. Minho had clearly been staring at him, that much was obvious, but Jisung wasn’t sure what it meant. He’d been caught staring at Minho in return, sure, but that didn’t mean Minho was staring for the same reason he had been.

There was no way.

Climbing out of the shower after rinsing off a final time, Jisung grabbed one of the hotel towels and dried off quickly before moving back into his room to put on a pair of sweats. As he rejoined Minho in the living area, the older man was already sprawled out on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV. Jisung plopped down beside him, feeling a sense of contentment wash over him.

They settled for ordering room service, not wanting to go back out to the restaurant for the night. The food through room service was nearly identical, so when Minho pulled the menu up on his phone it was easy enough to figure out what they wanted. Jisung called in the order and they spent the time waiting for it by aimlessly watching random television channels.

It felt domestic, pressed up against Minho’s side, the elder’s arm radiating a warmth that was more than physical. Jisung wished he could grab it and wrap it around himself without making it awkward. They’d cuddled plenty of times in their years of friendship, but he was always hesitant to initiate anything in case it weirded his friend out.

Just as he was about to psych himself up enough to do it, there was a knock on their door, followed by the cliche ‘room service!’ call that you only ever heard in movies. Minho stood languidly, clearly not wanting to move from his place on the couch where he’d created an indent in his shape, but moved over to the door nonetheless. He gathered their meals and thanked the man, returning to the couch to join Jisung again.

As they ate, they watched random shows and chatted mindlessly. Jisung enjoyed these kinds of nights; it wasn’t often that they had time to just sit down and be . He missed it. He missed being able to act like he had no responsibilities, no one to impress. Only Minho made him able to experience that anymore.

When they both departed to their rooms for the night, Jisung wished more than anything to cross back into the living room and into Minho’s room, just to be close to him. Just to be. But instead, he curled up under his sheets again, alone and cold enough that he might as well have not spent any time in the sun the entire day.

✈︎

Jisung woke as the sun began shining into his room, much earlier than he usually preferred to wake up. He’d forgotten to shut the blinds on one side of his room, allowing unfiltered light to bleed into the room as the sun rose.

When he finally pulled himself out of bed and dragged his feet out into the kitchen, the suite was quiet. There were no noises coming from both Minho’s bedroom and bathroom even though Jisung knew the elder woke up much earlier than he did.

He grabbed a glass from one of the overhead cabinets and turned on the tap, filling it halfway to help his dry post-sleep mouth.

Just as he raised the glass to his lips, the door to the suite beeped as a keycard unlocked it and it swung open. He turned to greet Minho, smile already prepared, when he stopped in his tracks.

Minho entered with a nonchalance that Jisung wished he could have when half naked. He was shirtless, skin glistening with a fresh layer of sweat. A hotel towel was draped on one shoulder with his shirt in his other hand. Instead of swim trunks, he was wearing a pair of gym shorts and his sneakers, his toned legs on full display for Jisung to ogle.

He had to do everything in his power not to drop his glass. Minho’s hair was dripping sweat onto his cheeks and down onto his chest, drawing Jisung’s eyes in even more. He tried to avert his gaze in a terrible attempt at not making his staring obvious.

“Good morning, Sung-ah.” Minho greeted as he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He slid the towel off his shoulder and wiped his face off with it before he crossed to the door to his bedroom.

Jisung swallowed hard, staring at the ripples in his glass. “Good morning. Early gym visit?”

Minho hummed. “It’s a really nice gym.”

“I’ll have to check it out and include it in my review.” They both knew he wouldn’t.

Chuckling under his breath, Minho pushed open the door to his room. “I’m gonna jump in the shower. Do you have plans for today?”

Jisung shook his head. “I think I’ll just walk around, see what there is to do, vlog shit. Typical stuff.” He still wouldn’t look at Minho, scared his gaze would be too uncomfortable for his friend.

Minho headed into his room and shut the door behind him with brief parting words, leaving Jisung staring at his glass that was still half full. He kept his eyes on it until the shower in Minho’s room kicked on minutes later. The sound echoed through the walls, the sudden surge of water through pipes breaking him from his daze.

In one hurried gulp, Jisung finished his glass of water before he set it haphazardly on the counter and rushed to his room. He quickly changed into his swimwear, grabbed his camera and phone, and booked it out of the suite. If he spent any more time with a shirtless Minho, he thought he might cross the line into insanity.

By the time he was halfway down the path to a different pool than the day before, he remembered to text Minho and let him know he’d left. The elder responded with a thumbs up and a ‘be safe’, two simple words that made the butterflies stir in Jisung’s stomach.

He spent the majority of the morning lounging beside a much larger pool on the opposite side of the resort’s main building. Occasionally, Jisung found himself holding up his camera and chatting mindlessly towards it before realizing he’d be rambling for much longer than necessary with no point in sight and shut the camera off in frustration.

Nothing he did could keep Minho off his mind. There was no way Minho was doing it on purpose— as far as he knew, Jisung was straight. But Jisung couldn’t push aside the knowledge that he’d seen Minho shirtless more in the last two days than he had in the last year.

Maybe some of it was wishful thinking, but part of him hoped Minho had realized his friend was living a lie and Jisung wouldn’t have to confess it on his own.

He was walking on a tightrope, high off the ground with no safety net beneath him. He wanted to keep walking, to make it to the other side safely, but maybe the fall wouldn’t be so bad.

But then he remembered why he hadn’t told anyone. His image was important, his fans were content with who he was— they liked him as he was now . Coming out would change everything, and he couldn’t predict what his fans’ reactions would be. Even if they were positive, there would be a large portion that would definitely stop watching his content.

As much as he wanted to, Jisung’s life was not quite his own anymore, and he couldn’t do whatever he pleased with it. He’d put himself in this situation and he couldn’t remove himself from it.

The most he could do was pine endlessly over someone he could never have. He just had to make the best of it.

He found himself heading back to the suite as the sun set, after taking a long walk around the resort grounds and filming every little detail he could find, just to have filler content to voice over.

Sound filled his ears as soon as he pushed the door open. In the living room, Minho had himself draped dramatically on the couch, phone held over his head with the volume on full blast. Meows filled the room, and Jisung knew immediately he was on a cat binge again.

“Hyung?” He called to him, shutting the door behind him.

Minho paused the video, locking his phone and tipping his head back to look at Jisung upside down. From this angle, his lips were parted enough to show off the whites of his front teeth. His eyes were wide, as if he hadn’t heard Jisung enter.

“Hi,” He greeted, voice small. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I thought so.” Jisung chuckled, stepping out of his sandals and crossed the room to plop down on the couch by Minho’s legs. Minho draped his leg over Jisung’s as soon as his ass hit the cushion, caging him in.

“What’d you do today?” Minho asked, unlocking his phone again. He held it inches from his face, undoubtedly damaging his eyes.

Jisung leaned his head back against the couch. “Sat by the pool. Swam a little. Walked pretty much the whole grounds filming random shit. Did you know there’s a whole golf course?”

Minho snorted. “No, I didn’t. Neither of us play.”

“It’s still cool!”

“Whatever you say, Hannie.”

It felt domestic, sitting like this, lounging together like they had no other cares in the world. It tugged at Jisung’s heart strings, tangling them up and knotting them until they were unrecognizable.

He wanted this for real. But this was the closest he would ever get.

“Min,” Jisung spoke up after a lull in their conversation and the meows had resumed from Minho’s phone speakers. Minho lowered his phone, pausing the video. He raised a brow at Jisung, urging him to continue. “Would you want to go get dinner?”

It was meant innocently, just two friends going to the restaurant that they’d already been to once that just happened to be extremely fancy and had a romantic atmosphere. If he was being honest, he’d avoided going to the actual restaurant the previous night just because of the ambience it held. But he needed to get over it— they’d been to countless restaurants together, this one was no different.

Minho perked up, propping himself up on his elbow. “You paying?”

“Don’t I always?”

With that, they both got up to change into more appropriate clothes for a somewhat fancy dinner. Based on the last time they were in there, people had been dressed in some of their best, so Jisung spent way too long trying to figure out what would be suitable without looking like this was anything other than two best friends eating together.

They walked the entire way with their shoulders brushing at every step. Minho held the door open for Jisung when they reached it, making him burn crimson. It was just Minho’s personality– he was a gentleman to everyone, not just Jisung.

Jisung followed behind as they were seated, looking around at the countless couples seated around their table. The host led them to an empty table near the edge of the room, somewhat secluded but still out in the open. A candle was lit on the table, casting a soft golden glow across the surface.

They took their seats and ordered drinks as soon as their waiter stopped by. When Jisung picked up his menu, he slipped into work mode. He began thinking about which meals would photograph the best, which ones he had enough knowledge about to review. They were all so fancy and unnecessarily excessive that he wasn’t entirely interested in trying any of them, but he needed to do so for his review. 

After they ordered, Jisung noticed Minho wasn’t on his phone for once. It was unlike him, but not unwelcome.

“Are you ready for the drive up to Malibu?” Jisung asked, tilting his head.

Minho looked right at him, which wouldn’t normally shake Jisung, but in this setting made him tense slightly. He was grateful for the low lighting, otherwise Minho would definitely see the scarlet stain rising on his cheeks.

“It shouldn’t be too bad,” Minho shrugged, running a hand through his hair. Jisung watched it fall back into place like a trance. “I don’t mind driving.”

“I think it’ll be fun, driving up through the scenic route.” Jisung commented.

Minho nodded, leaning his elbow on the table. They continued to chat about their plans for the drive, and the route Jisung had mapped out for them in order to get scenic views and opportunities for him to document it.

When their food was delivered to their table, Jisung thanked their waiter and immediately picked up his phone. He unlocked it and swiped to his camera. The low light made it a little difficult to make the photos look nice, but he worked with what he had.

Minho paused in lifting his fork from his cutlery set and stared at Jisung. Jisung paid him little mind, snapping photos from every angle he could get while sitting.

“Do you really need pictures of food?” Minho complained, his voice thin.

This happened often during their travels. Even though Minho was technically his manager and traveled with him around the globe multiple times a month, he never seemed to understand exactly what Jisung’s job was. He handled brand deals and sponsorships, but he never touched Jisung’s blog posts.

Jisung needed to review every part of a resort, from the amenities to the food and everywhere in between. Hell, he’d even reviewed the thread count of hotels’ sheets in the past. It was his job, it was what got him traction, and how he got paid. To neglect any part of their visits would be a disservice to both himself and his followers.

“Yes, hyung, I do. I’m working.” Jisung sighed, continuing to snap photos from various angles.

He glanced up briefly, seeing Minho’s brows creasing. Jisung blinked in confusion. Was he really that annoyed? This wasn’t the first time Jisung had done this, and this wouldn’t be the last, so he wasn’t sure why Minho was suddenly so against it.

“Why didn’t you just come to dinner alone then?”

Jisung paused. Minho’s face was completely serious, his jaw set and his eyes blinking rapidly the way they did when he was confused or upset.

“Wait,” Jisung began, setting his phone down. A sly grin tugged at his lips. “Are you jealous of my food ?”

Minho blinked again in a burst. “What? No.”

“You are!” Jisung exclaimed, clapping his hands together. The couples at the tables around them glared, causing him to sheepishly bow his head in apology.

“I am not jealous , I just—“ Minho cut himself off, turning his gaze away. Jisung could see the tips of his ears glowing, reminiscent of an exit sign. “Why did you invite me if you’re working?”

“I’m always working, hyung,” Jisung pointed out.

Minho sighed, picking up his fork and poking around at his food. “Well, yeah, I am too, but I just thought—“

Jisung raised a brow when Minho didn’t continue, a pesky seed of hope taking root in his stomach. Maybe Minho had taken his invitation as a date, saw this as a date, and was disappointed. Just the thought of calling this a date made Jisung giddy inside.

“Thought what?” Jisung pressed, leaning his elbows on the table and propping his chin in his hand.

Minho shook his head. “Nothing. Just forget it.”

“Hyung—“

“Drop it, Jisung.”

His full name was rarely thrown out by Minho; only when he was mad did his friend use that name. He normally called him some sort of nickname or term of endearment, so it was jarring to hear. Garden shears quickly cut into his core and snipped the growing bud of hope from its root.

Jisung stared at Minho for a moment, but he didn’t look up at him again. They finished their meals in silence and Jisung didn’t touch his phone again until they’d already paid and were standing up to leave.

As they walked down the path, the noises of the night were heightened in their silence. Crickets chirped in the bushes on either side of them, the low waves of the ocean washing against the coast, palm leaves rustling in the slight breeze.

“I’m sorry.”

Jisung turned his head to look at Minho, who stared at his feet as they walked. When Jisung looked down, he noticed Minho was actively avoiding stepping on cracks. It made him smile ever so slightly.

“For what?” He questioned, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“For getting mad. I know it’s your job, but I just—“ he cut himself off, running a hand through his dark hair. It felt right back onto his forehead after he moved his hand away. “Sometimes I wish we could just… spend time together? When we’re in these places, I mean. We don’t really do a lot of that.”

Jisung’s heart was torn between beating out of his chest and sinking into his stomach. He couldn’t tell if Minho was saying these things in a friendly way, or possibly more. But he couldn’t outright ask.

“We don’t, do we?” Jisung bumped his shoulder against Minho’s. “I’m sorry, too. I should be more mindful. I’m sure it’s annoying to have to wait to eat because I need photos of your plate.”

Minho shook his head, his eyes gaining their twinkle again. “If I was hungry enough I wouldn’t wait for you to finish your little photoshoot.”

Jisung slapped his arm lightly with an exaggerated scoff.

“But really, I didn’t want to end the first half of our trip on a bad note. I shouldn’t have gotten angry.” Minho spoke, softer now. He gazed up at the sky, eyes squinting as he attempted to locate the stars. The sky was too polluted to see any, save for the brightest ones.

“Don’t worry about it, hyung. Really.” Jisung smiled at him, another star to add to the obsidian canvas above them.

The rest of the night was much lighter, full of laughter and a comfortable blanket of peace that Jisung hadn’t felt since they’d arrived. When he went to bed that night, he slept easily.

✈︎

Jisung really needed to do more research.

When their uber dropped them off in front of the car rental company they’d booked for their drive up to Malibu, that much was clear.

The building was dingy, dull and chipped walls with an equally dated sign out front that was barely legible. The cars outside looked to be in good enough shape, but who knew how well they were actually taken care of?

Minho pushed the door open first, dragging his bag behind him and propping the squeaky door open for Jisung to follow him. Inside, the building was just as run down as the exterior. Wallpaper was peeling and chipping in multiple places around the door, as well as behind the front desk. It was a small room, only a lobby style counter and an office desk with chairs surrounding it. There was a single man at the counter, looking up at them with a bored expression.

“Name for the reservation?” He asked them as they approached the counter, his voice flat. Jisung gazed at his name tag, the name scrawled in messy penmanship— Seungmin.

Jisung stopped in front of the counter, leaning an elbow on it. “It should be under Jisung.”

“Last name?”

“Han.” Minho supplied, ever so helpful.

They both watched as he typed away on the computer, clicking obnoxiously with his mouse. After a few moments, he paused and looked at Jisung.

“Do you want a compact or an SUV?” His face remained neutral the entire time.

Jisung looked at Minho. “Uh, SUV? I think?” Minho nodded. “Yeah, SUV.”

Seungmin nodded once, gaze returning to his computer screen. He clicked around a few more times before turning around to a large locked case that looked like a gun case. He twisted a key in the lock, opening it to reveal rows of hanging car keys and fobs. Running his finger along one of the rows, he located the key he was looking for and nabbed it, shutting and locking the case back up behind him.

“Just need you to sign this,” He placed down a document between them, pointing at multiple highlighted areas. “Here, here and… here.”

Jisung did so quickly, not bothering to read the document. He was sure whatever it said was legal jargon to keep the company from liability if he were to wreck the car.

Seungmin rounded the counter when he was done, not bothering to tell them verbally to follow. They did anyway, dragging their luggage behind as they rushed out the door to catch up. He approached a rust red SUV, luckily appearing to be in good enough shape for their trip. He explained the legalities and things that Jisung didn’t bother to listen to, but was sure Minho was. As his manager, Minho always paid more attention to legal verbiage and policies than Jisung could bother himself to.

“Your drop-off location is Malibu, right?” Seungmin asked once he showed them around the exterior, taking note of any pre-existing damage. Jisung nodded again. “Alright, just make sure you fill her up before drop-off. Hefty fee if you don’t.”

Minho thanked him for his help and Seungmin passed him the keys. One thing Jisung did not do was drive, especially in other countries. He always put Minho down as a second operator even though he was the one to book reservations.

“Safe travels!” Seungmin called out as he walked back inside the building, not even looking back at them as he did so.

“Really nice guy.” Minho muttered, opening the tailgate to load their luggage.

Jisung snorted out a laugh, hoisting his bag up and over the edge and dropping it into the trunk. He observed as Minho organized, making sure none of their more expensive equipment would get crushed during their drive.

They hopped into their respective seats once their multitude of bags were situated in the trunk— camera gear included. Jisung opted to keep his laptop with him so he could work on blogging and editing photos from his last trip while Minho drove. What would normally be only a three hour drive along the coast, Jisung had turned into double. He’d told Minho he wanted to head northeast first, into the deserts and valleys so he could document it for both himself and his followers. Minho had groaned, complaining that Jisung should be driving if he wanted to take detours, but one puppy eyed look sent Minho’s way made him crumble.

Pulling out of the lot, Minho gazed at the road while Jisung began to fiddle with the radio. He tuned it to every station that had even a crumb of connection, listening for a song he recognized. By the fifth station and countless pauses with annoying static, Minho slapped his hand away.

“You’re gonna give me a headache before we’re even on the highway.” He grumbled, pressing the tune button on the stereo. It tuned to a station playing mediocre pop, but he hit the button again to stop it on the station anyway.

Jisung rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat and staring out his window. As much as he loved messing with Minho, he never continued when Minho asked him to stop.

Eventually, he flipped his laptop open and tried to focus on writing about the last resort. The car was silent apart from the roar of the road beneath them and the radio spewing out quiet pop beats.

He enjoyed scenic drives, especially when he could see landscapes he wasn’t normally privy to. California was a far cry from South Korea and it felt like an entirely new world. Jisung loved seeing just how different one place could be from another, and he reveled in the knowledge that he was lucky enough to travel and document it all for the viewing pleasure of people who were unable to do so themselves.

In reality, Jisung had gotten into photography as a hobby, a way to document his life easily. He never planned on making it his career. At first, he’d just shared stupid little photos from his vacations with Minho and their other friends.

Now, he shared anything and everything with the entire world. All but one thing.

It took a little over half an hour to start seeing the change from the suburban San Diego area into a more rural landscape. The frequency of neighborhoods dwindled, with hills and endless orange in between. He’d never seen so much sand and dirt. Eventually, the small neighborhoods transformed into even more endless sand. The views were flat, the amount of hills he saw he was able to count on his fingers.

The view was peaceful. A little slice of serenity, even if it was dusty and way too warm for his maladapted body.

Outside a small town— calling it a town was generous, only a single gas station and a row of houses along a single road— Jisung asked Minho to pull over. From their angle, the view of the town with the looming mountains far in the distance was more picturesque than Jisung could have ever asked for.

Jisung jumped out of the car before Minho even had it in park, racing to the trunk to grab his camera gear. He heard Minho sigh dramatically when he slammed the driver’s door shut, but he trekked along with Jisung regardless.

Outside the car, the heat was even more noticeable. It waved at them through the mirages it cast on the road, the shaky illusions of melting pavement playing with Jisung’s eyes as he crossed the empty road for a better angle.

“This will look great on your resort blog, Hannie.” Minho teased, trailing behind him. Jisung shot him a look, to which he put his hands up in surrender.

He didn’t only take photos for his blog. He loved to capture everything his eyes saw, immortalize them in frames through his lens. It was the entire reason he started posting online to begin with. Something about it was comforting, the knowledge that such insignificant points of his life, the small travels, the details so eye-catching to him that were so worthless to others, would be captured forever, either digitally or through film. He loved to shoot both, using different methods to get the same results, like taking two very different paths to the same destination.

Most of his followers were more interested in himself than his job, than his talents. Jisung put his entire life on display for their scrutiny, and he was used to his posts that weren’t related to himself or his trips being mostly ignored by them. But he didn’t do it for them. Documenting the minuscule moments, the seemingly insignificant buildings on the side of a highway in the middle-of-nowhere southern California, made him feel normal. Less like a zoo animal put on display for the public’s viewing pleasure, more like himself. Just Jisung.

Fiddling with his camera, he adjusted the settings for the harsh amount of sunlight. He raised the shutter speed, lowered the ISO sensitivity to match the rule ingrained in his brain called the sunny sixteen. It was clockwork at this point, his hands and brain communicating without him needing to focus on it.

“Hyung, will you walk in front of me?” Jisung suddenly asked, pointing towards the road.

Minho raised a brow. “Are you trying to get me hit by a car?”

“There’s literally no one around. You’ll be fine. Please?” He was right, too. The flat fields of burnt russet spanned as far as their eyes could see. If anyone were to come speeding down the road, Jisung would be able to give Minho plenty of heads up to move. But now, he just wanted to document this moment. Another trip with his best friend. A grain of sand in their ever expanding list of places they’ve been together.

Though Minho sighed and rolled his eyes, he did as asked. He seemingly could never deny Jisung— an upper hand the younger used on many occasions. Jisung observed as he walked to the center of the road, keeping his back to Jisung.

“This far enough?” He called back, not turning around.

Jisung nodded before he realized Minho wasn’t looking at him. Raising his camera, he responded, “yeah, now just walk forward!”

Minho obliged, taking slow steps forward so Jisung could capture this ‘candid’ moment. He was used to being Jisung’s model at this point, a human subject to place in a frame of inanimate objects and mother nature’s creations. He knew the rules, and he followed them well.

Jisung snapped away, pressing the shutter down to rapid fire photos as he deemed fit. He moved around, trying different heights and angles to capture the entirety of the scene Minho was facing.

The finished product was exactly what he’d depicted in his mind. Mountains towering on the horizon, dulled and faded from the distance and the atmospheric conditions. The tiny town stretched throughout the frame, guiding the viewer’s eye directly to the center where Minho took the stage, his back to the camera and his stance casual, relaxed. It could have been a movie poster, a book cover, maybe even a travel guide about the most underrated place to visit on the west coast.

It was perfect.

Minho walked back to him and hooked his chin over his shoulder, gazing down at the photos with a hum in his throat. A car sped down the road without reaction from either of them.

After the last photo, Jisung cleared his throat, pretending the proximity that was so normal between them, and that Minho likely thought nothing of, wasn’t affecting him in any way. He pushed the impulsive thoughts from the forefront of his brain, the ones that whispered for him to turn his head and graze their lips together— it would be so easy, they prodded.

Minho seemingly took him turning off the camera as his cue to move, as he peeled himself from Jisung’s back and the younger tried not to let the lack of extra warmth disappoint him.

They crossed the road together and returned to the car, the wind kicking up the dirt around them enough that they were swept into a whirlwind of red and orange. Jisung covered his mouth with the collar of his shirt, seeing Minho doing the same out of the corner of his eye. The camera was tucked securely under Jisung’s shirt, protecting it from the sudden onslaught of sharp grains. Cameras and sand were enemies through and through.

Rushing into the car and slamming the doors shut behind them, the two turned to look at each other.

“What the fuck?” Minho groaned, glancing out at the Mars-like landscape in front of them. The wind was spinning more sand, throwing it against the windows and underside of the car. “We can’t drive in this.”

Jisung leaned his head back against his seat. “We can just wait it out, right? It’s normal here.”

“Yeah, but we’re supposed to be at the resort in,” Minho checked the time on his phone, “four hours.”

One thing Jisung knew about his friend was that he hated to be late. It was rude, a smudge on his perfect attendance record that dated all the way back to middle school. In Minho’s eyes, being late was nearly as bad as insulting one of his cats. A death wish.

“We can just call and tell them we’ll be late if this lasts long, hyung.”

The look Minho gave him was reminiscent of the old, grumpy man that lived down the street from Jisung when he first moved back to Korea after living in Malaysia. Mr. Park was never seen with anything but a scowl, a permanent frown etched into every wrinkle and fold of his face. He despised both of them, never allowing them to step foot on his lawn lest they wanted to be victim to his bellowing shouts of rage. Even Hyunjin, who was the most polite, well-mannered kid on the block, was a target of his wrath at one point or another. 

Jisung had made a game of antagonizing Mr. Park whenever he had the opportunity. A ball thrown into his yard with a shouted sorry! or an ‘accidental’ rolling of his bike tire over the edge of his lawn, flattening it under the rubber. Each time, Mr. Park chased after him with a newspaper bunched in his fist, ready to swing. He never caught Jisung, not once.

Outside, the wind was already dying down. The amount of sand stirring on the ground lessened, allowing them to see more of the landscape again. In just a few minutes, it was as if it had never happened, save for the slight red dusting across the pavement.

“See?” Jisung gestured outside. “Still on schedule!”

Minho scowled at him but turned the key in the ignition regardless. The car sputtered a few times, a distinct whirr-click-click - click before it finally kicked on. They shared a look of concern.

“Well, that’s promising.”

As Minho pulled back out onto the highway, Jisung snagged the memory card from the camera and shoved it into his laptop, pulling up the photos to begin editing. He still had photos from his previous trip, but he wanted these ones. He wanted it on his phone immediately, as his background, his lock screen. Everything. A reminder of his best friend in his pocket.

Peace settled over the car as they drove, no traces of the sandstorm that attacked only minutes prior. The car still rattled concerningly every so often, causing Minho’s breath to hitch as if waiting for it to completely give out and strand them in the middle of an uninhabited area of California.

Jisung tried not to focus on it, opting to listen instead to the cheesy pop music still trickling out from the radio.

With the air now clear and the sun getting lower in the sky, they stopped along the scenic roads a few more times for various shots. Jisung even pulled out his vlogging camera at one point and made a little sneak peek for his social media, boasting about how beautiful California was and how lucky he was to be able to experience it and share it with everyone.

He took plenty of photos, both of the scenery and of Minho— even sneaking in a few real candid shots, just for his own safe keeping. He didn’t show his friend those photos.

An hour later, doubled back half way between San Diego and Malibu, Minho turned them onto a road that would lead them back to the highway that followed along the coast. They were still on schedule, headed through lower mountainous areas that were much less sandy than their earlier route. They’d passed through beautifully lush green areas, rolling hills and small mountains as they drove.

On a long stretch of winding road in the middle of nowhere, miles past the nearest town, the car began to sputter— more frequently than before and at a higher volume.

“Uh, Minho?” Jisung asked, looking up at the road ahead of them, then at his friend. Minho’s face was hard, his jaw set and his hands nearly white on the steering wheel.

Minho didn’t look at him. He stared straight ahead, eyes fixed. “I know.”

“Should we—“

Before Jisung could continue, the car shook once, jostling them both in their seats. A concerning, mechanical popping sounded from the engine and when Jisung looked forward, smoke was beginning to pour out from the hood.

Minho pulled them over, and before the car even came to a stop, the engine screeched and groaned, keeling over.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

Angry Minho wasn’t just scary. He was terrifying. Where most people would blow up, shout or scream, he was the calm before the storm. Cold, hard stares and locked jaws where his muscles tensed and flexed in his cheeks. No screaming, no hitting things, just cold. Frozen over rapids ready to burst out of the ice.

Jisung watched him closely as he unbuckled himself and threw the door open, climbed out and rounded the front of the vehicle. He pried the hood open and a cloud of smoke rose with it.

Then, he raised a leg and kicked the front bumper, shaking the entire car.

“God dammit!”

Angry Minho when showing his anger was somehow even scarier.

Jisung fumbled with his laptop, slamming it shut and discarding it on his seat as he stumbled out of the car to join Minho.

“Minho—“

The older man whirled on him, eyes wild. “If you tell me to calm down I’m gonna lose it even more.”

“No,” Jisung shook his head, “I was only gonna say you’ll hurt yourself kicking the car like that.”

Minho groaned, throwing his head back and staring at the sky.

“Well, now what?” He tilted his head back down and looked at Jisung whose eyes were wide, a deer caught in headlights.

“I don’t know.” Jisung admitted, but slipped out his phone. “I can check for the nearest tow?” Minho nodded. Jisung swiped his screen, navigating around to find the nearest mechanic or tow. He clicked around, reading distances for different businesses, as well as their hours.

“Well, good news and bad news.” He spoke, his lips a thin line. Minho raised a brow, urging him to continue. “There’s a mechanic in the town we just passed. But they’re closed for the day.”

Minho’s foot connected with the bumper again.

“Great!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Just great! ”

Jisung flinched at his outburst, and he noticed immediately. He straightened himself out, tucking his arms to his side and forcing his brows to uncurl. Though he still didn’t look happy , it was a good start.

“Sorry, that was uncalled for. I’m sorry for scaring you. I got it all out now, I promise.” Minho expressed, stepping closer to Jisung. Jisung let him into his space, enough to lean over his shoulder like he had to view the photos. When Minho’s arms wrapped around his torso, hugging him from behind, he tried not to tense. “Are there any hotels back there?”

Typing away on his phone for another moment, Jisung pulled up a map of hotels in the area. The only one that popped up in the town was a single motel. He showed his phone to Minho, who sighed hot air out against his ear. He then tucked his chin into Jisung’s back, murmuring into his shirt, “I’m sure it’s lovely. 5-star, definitely.”

Jisung scoffed at that, and he swore he felt a smile spread against his shoulder, followed by something that felt suspiciously like a kiss , before Minho pulled away.

He turned to watch Minho slam the hood shut and walk around the car to the trunk. When Jisung followed, he found Minho with the tailgate already open and rummaging through their bags.

“Grab your valuable gear and a change of clothes. We’ll have to walk.” Minho instructed, pulling out a set of clothes from his suitcase and stuffing it into the backpack that held their audio equipment. Jisung followed suit, locating the first outfit he could find. He ran to the front seat and grabbed his laptop and camera bag, shoving everything inside haphazardly.

“Fucking unbelievable,” he muttered to himself. “Gonna get that place shut down. Shitty, unreliable cars.”

“Did you say something?” Minho called, shutting the tailgate and rounding the car to him.

“I’m gonna get that stupid rental place shut down for this.” Jisung reiterated, to which Minho barked out a laugh. “What? I’m serious!”

Minho rolled his eyes, hoisting his own bag over his shoulder. “For all we know, it wasn’t their fault. It was probably that sandstorm.”

“Still, I have places to be. Their cars should be reliable.”

“We both have places to be,” Minho pointed out, giving him a look. “You seem to forget you’re not the only one in this situation.”

“Yeah, but I’m the one the resort wants! You’re just my manager!”

Jisung knew he fucked up the moment the words left his mouth. Minho’s eyebrow raised, his eyes hardening. He scoffed, turning away and beginning to walk in the direction they had driven from.

“Hyung, wait!” Jisung shouted after him, running to keep up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

Minho ignored him.

“Minho!”

He started walking faster, completely tuning Jisung out. Jisung huffed, falling in line beside him. He didn’t fail to notice that Minho slowed to his side, even though he didn’t acknowledge him in the slightest.

Even though the sun was lowering itself, dipping towards the horizon, it was still way too hot. There were power lines in the distance, and even from far away Jisung could hear the humming from the electrical lines in the sun. They were lucky the road was relatively flat, but Jisung’s legs began to hurt around a mile in regardless. Two little dots, blips on a map, surrounded by nothing but orange. Barely any foliage, only small clusters of trees, and no buildings in sight. Like tiny ants on a vast anthill, roaming aimlessly.

Time felt endless. Maybe it was. Just a construct of the world that didn’t truly exist. No matter how far they walked, it felt like they’d never see the town they’d passed. It hadn’t been that far back, maybe three or four miles. 

“Hyung,” Jisung drawled out, “how long have we been walking?”

Minho didn’t speak, but showed Jisung his phone. Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes, and Jisung’s back was coated in sweat.

He wanted to lay down in the road and just pass away. Jisung couldn’t handle the heat, the walking, the dust in the air. He was collapsing internally and wanted to do the same on the outside.

Not a single car passed them during their entire hike. It was truly a desert, vast and empty. After what felt like an eternity, he saw the hazy outline of a building around a bend in the distance.

“There!” He exclaimed, pointing. Just as he was about to bolt for the town, Minho grasped his forearm firmly, stopping him in his tracks.

“You’ll tire yourself out before you get there. Just walk.”

He still wouldn’t look at Jisung. Jisung’s heart sank into his stomach, cracked down the center.

The town was still far in the distance, at least another twenty minutes away. The silence was eating away at Jisung, Minho refused to look at him and refused to speak. But he hadn’t let Jisung go. Without Jisung noticing, Minho had slid his hand down and entwined their fingers, keeping him from running. Keeping him close.

By the time they reached the first building of the small town, the sun was dangling low on the horizon. It had cooled the air a little, allowing Jisung to stop sweating as much. Still, all he wanted was to collapse onto a bed— no matter how uncomfortable— and sleep away the stress of the day.

Minho guided him silently to the motel they’d seen online, the tall sign reading ‘ Valley Inn ’ with a flashing sign below it that boasted of vacancies. Jisung hoped they had at least somewhat comfy beds.

The town was like a true ghost town. Not a single soul in sight, only parked cars spotted infrequently. The only sign of life was the lights on in the diner across the street from the motel, where they could see a singular waiter moving around inside. The lack of life was unsettling.

As they stepped into the lobby of the motel, it was clear this was not a tourist destination. It was barren, only cracked linoleum floors and stucco walls chipping in places. There was an enclosed office where a middle aged woman sat, boredly staring at the ancient computer in front of her. Only a window with a sliding glass door separated them, and when Minho approached, she didn’t look up.

“Single room only,” she spoke, her voice monotone. “Last one left, it’s got one bed.”

“Oh, uh—“ Minho looked to Jisung, whose eyes widened in panic. Sharing a bed? With Minho?

Jisung thought for a moment. There was absolutely no way this motel, even though small, was sold out of all rooms except one . There had been only a few cars in the parking lot, definitely not enough to fill every single room. But he couldn’t argue with her and risk being thrown out.

“That’s fine!” He rushed out, not wanting Minho to question him. It would be fine. Surely.

The woman slid the window open fully, holding her hand out. “ID.”

Minho fished around for his wallet, slipping his license out and handing it over to her. She examined it for a moment, a brow raising while the rest of her face stayed stagnant. Her eyes shifted up to Minho and back down to his ID before she set it down in front of her and began typing in his information.

“You’re a little far from home.” She commented, her voice losing its monotone cadence. Her eyes flitted between them when she turned to hand Minho’s ID back, and Jisung saw genuine intrigue on her face.

“Yeah, we uh— our car broke down a few miles north.” Minho replied, tucking his license back into his wallet. They both knew that wasn’t what she meant, but neither was interested in playing into a racial comment, even if it wasn’t malicious. She just nodded, typing in a few more things before turning around and gathering two keycards for them. Minho fished his card out when prompted and he swiped it on the keypad, paying the measly amount requested for the room.

“Second floor, all the way down.” She instructed, her voice warmer than it had been when they first walked in. “Call the tow in the morning, they’ll get the car fixed fast.”

Minho bowed his head, accepting the cards from her. The two turned and made their way out of the lobby, back outside to the stairs to the second floor. The motel was the typical dingy building you only saw in films, an empty pool surrounded by a rusting gate just off the edge of the parking lot. Chipped paint on the exterior walls and an overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke. All the rooms were accessed from the outside, with no interior hallways or rooms.

They hiked up the stairs and Jisung’s thighs burned at the exertion.

“I can’t believe this.” He muttered, halfway up. Minho paused, glancing back with a questioning brow raised. “This whole thing, I mean. First, the car. Now this shitty motel.”

“It’s not that bad, Sung-ah.” Minho sighed, continuing to step up to the second floor.

Jisung snorted, dry and sarcastic. “Not that bad? Hyung, we’re supposed to be in a five star resort right now.”

“Jisung. Stop complaining. We’ll get the car fixed and be back on the road in the morning. You’ll get to enjoy your cushy resort by this time tomorrow.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He heard Minho sigh deeply. “Nothing, Jisung.”

When they reached the landing of the second floor, Jisung glanced out at the town around the motel. From their height, he could see a little further. Behind the diner across the street was a small cluster of mobile homes, all in varying states of disarray. Down the street was what appeared to be a grocery store, small enough to be a house but with a tall sign announcing ‘Fresh Produce!’ . Overall, the small town– if it could even be considered one– strangely reminded him of a certain town in an animated movie with talking cars.

It had the necessities, Jisung supposed, but it wasn’t a place to live . How did anyone do it?

He fell into step behind Minho as they walked all the way down the second floor’s landing to the last door. The door’s paint was chipping, and the window situated next to it was cloudy and covered in questionable substances. Jisung’s nose wrinkled at the sight.

When Minho unlocked the door and pushed it open, stepping aside for Jisung to glance in first, the younger audibly groaned.

The room was tiny, barely enough to fit the single queen sized bed and a dresser at the foot of it and leave enough space to walk between them to get to what he assumed was the bathroom on the far end of the room. The bedsheets were dull, adorned with a yellowed tropical pattern that made Jisung want to roll his eyes. As he stepped inside, the floor creaked beneath his feet and the carpet that covered it was the perfect shade of a vomit-inducing newborn diaper blowout.

He crossed the distance to the bed and threw his bag down on the ground beside it. Inside the room, he could finally smell how old it was.

“This is fucking ridiculous.” Jisung groaned, flopping down backwards onto the single queen sized bed. The bed was musty, as was the entire room, and everything seemed at least 20 years old.

Jisung groaned, wrinkling his nose at the smell around him. How could he have gotten stuck in a situation like this?

By the door, Minho laughed dryly.

“This is ridiculous, Jisung? You know what I think is really ridiculous right now?”

The man on the bed looked at him, his brow furrowed. “What?”

“You. You’re being fucking ridiculous.” Minho stated, anger lacing his words.

Jisung shot straight up at this, his hands coming to clutch his chest as he stared at his best friend. The anger in Minho’s words shocked and confused him, not understanding where this was coming from.

“What do you mean?” Jisung asked, his voice much softer than he intended.

“This!” Minho scoffed, dropping his bag on the floor before taking a step forward. He gestured around them, his arms stretched wide out from his sides before dropping back down limply. “You, Jisung. All of this. Your attitude, your personality, everything since you became ‘famous’.”

At the final word, he held his hands up and indicated quotes around the word in mockery.

None of this made any sense to Jisung.

“I don’t understand, hyung. What did I do?” He begged to know, to be enlightened as to why his best friend was suddenly turning on him.

“You’ve changed! You’re bratty, self–centered, entitled, and so much more. This person,” He gestured in front of himself, directly at Jisung. “Whoever this is, isn’t the Jisung I fell in love with.”

They both realized at the same moment what Minho had let slip.

Minho was frozen, his eyes wide as his hand covered his mouth. They stared at each other, both unable to process the words that were just spoken.

After a few moments, Jisung was able to break the silence.

“You… love me?”

This brought Minho out of his stupor. He rapidly shook his head, averting his gaze and crossing his arms over his chest. “No. I love Jisung. Not whoever you’ve turned into. It doesn’t matter anyway, forget I said it.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Jisung laughed out in disbelief, unable to contain it. “I can’t just forget you said something like that!”

“Well you better.”

Jisung stood, anger flaring up in his veins. The emotion fueled his muscles as he stepped towards his best friend. He kept his distance though, stopping a few feet away from him.

“Why doesn’t it matter, Minho?” He spoke in a steady tone, though his mind was anything but.

The elder groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. He looked incredibly frustrated, yet Jisung could not figure out why. If anything, Jisung should have been the frustrated one.

Finally meeting Jisung’s gaze once more, Minho sighed. “You’re straight, Jisung. So it doesn’t matter what I ever felt for you because what I wanted can never happen.

A short chuckle slipped from Jisung’s lips, his mouth dropping open. He shook his head, turning back towards the bed. Refusing to glance back at his friend, he began pretending to dust off the worn bedsheets.

“I’m not straight.”

The words were hushed, as if it were a secret not ever meant to be spoken. In a way, it was.

“What?” Minho asked, his voice unsure. Jisung could tell he thought he had heard incorrectly.

Turning back to face Minho, he stood up straight, feigning a confidence he was not feeling.

“I’m gay, hyung.”

A strained silence fell between them. The air grew tense and that tension was palpable. Neither man moved, one seemingly too stunned to speak and the other too shocked that he let his secret slip after so long.

Jisung shifted on his feet as Minho’s stare burned into him. Minho’s mouth opened and closed a few times as if he were a fish out of water. The younger could tell it took a few moments for Minho’s brain to catch up with his mouth before he spoke.

“Wait– huh? No, you’re lying.” The elder finally got out, shaking his head. “Don’t play with me like that, it’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny, hyung. I’m gay. Always have been– I just couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone.”

Minho sighed deeply, running a hand through his dark hair. “You expect me to believe that when you cater yourself to millions of girls on social media?”

Jisung let himself fall to sit on the bed behind him. He leaned his head on his hands, his elbows propped up on his knees as he leaned forward.

“It was never supposed to be this way,” he spoke through his hands. “I never meant to bait anyone. I’ve always been myself, people just assumed.”

He felt Minho sit beside him. Jisung hadn’t even heard him walk over.

“You’re seriously not straight?” Minho asked, his voice softened in comparison to before.

Jisung shook his head wordlessly, continuing to hide his face as he felt tears welling in his eyes. He felt an arm snake around his shoulders and he looked beside him to see Minho’s intense gaze mere inches from his own.

“Hannie, you never have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Especially not with me. Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was calm, concerned even. Jisung thought he didn’t deserve his concern or his pity. He definitely didn’t deserve his friendship.

The younger looked down at his lap, trying to pretend he wasn’t enjoying the feeling of his best friend’s warm embrace.

“I’ve never told anyone, hyung. Everything happened so fast and I never expected to be… sex appeal to women.” He sighed, his voice shaky. “I didn’t tell you specifically because I didn’t want anything to change between us.”

Minho’s hand began rubbing comforting circles on Jisung’s arm and the younger tried his best not to melt at the gesture. He and Minho had been physically affectionate plenty of times in the past, but that was when Minho thought his friend was straight and when Jisung hadn’t known his feelings were reciprocated.

“Why would anything change, Sung? You know I’m gay, what would telling me have done?”

“I couldn’t tell you,” he took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally for his next words. “Because I’m in love with you too.”

Time seemed to stop in the room and Jisung could tell Minho’s body was tense beside him. His hand stopped its movements but stayed firmly gripping Jisung’s arm.

This was it. This was the moment Jisung had been dreading for as long as he can remember, ever since the day he realized his feelings for his best friend. Minho would reject him, that was sure. No way would the elder want to be with him after he just called him all of those hurtful things. He wouldn’t want to be with someone fake like Jisung.

A hand reached for Jisung’s chin, pulling his face up to meet Minho’s own. The older’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, his mouth forming a thin line. Jisung watched as his glossy eyes flickered from the younger’s own down to his lips and back again. He held Jisung’s cheeks firmly in his hands, a thumb wiping away a stray tear that the younger hadn’t even realized had escaped.

“Promise me something.” Minho spoke so softly Jisung almost missed it, and probably would have from the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears if he weren’t staring at Minho’s lips.

“Anything."

A small smile graced Minho’s face, a genuine smile Jisung had missed so much. “Promise me you’ll be yourself from now on. No more hiding behind your fame. No baiting, no leading anyone to believe you’re someone you’re not.”

Jisung couldn’t speak, not expecting those words to fall from his best friend’s lips. The elder noticed, leaning his forehead against Jisung’s.

“If you can promise me that, I’ll kiss you.”

“I promise.” The younger spoke quickly, breathlessly, causing a chuckle to leave Minho.

Then Minho was kissing him.

It was soft and unsure at first, both men hesitating to truly show their feelings as if they both hadn’t just aired it all out moments ago. Their lips moved slowly, neither one wanting to lead for a moment until Minho seemingly got frustrated enough to do so. One of his hands slid from Jisung’s face to the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Jisung complied readily, scooting his entire body closer to meld with Minho’s. The younger couldn’t fight the urge to be as physically close as he could possibly be to Minho, pressing his body against the older’s as the kiss continued. Minho took notice, taking a moment to reach his hands down to Jisung’s hips and tug him as close as he could. Jisung turned his body enough to throw one leg over Minho’s, pressing as close as possible.

They continued for some time, momentarily breaking apart to catch their breaths before diving back in with an urgency neither knew possible. When Minho requested access with his tongue, Jisung eagerly obliged, opening his lips enough to grant Minho what he desired. Their tongues danced around each other, trying desperately to map out one another’s mouths and commit them to memory.

Minho was the first to pull away, his hands moving back to Jisung’s cheeks so he could hold him at a distance as he gazed into his eyes.

“I love you, Han Jisung,” he spoke delicately as if to not disturb the bubble they’d put themselves inside. “Not Han from social media, not the one everyone online loves. The real you, this one right here. My best friend.”

Jisung felt himself blush deeply, his cheeks heating up at Minho’s words. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the older’s neck and held him close. Burying his face in Minho’s neck, he answered softly.

“I love you too, Lee Minho.”

A dingy motel room that smelled like stale doritos was the last place Jisung wanted to do anything intimate with Minho, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Jisung didn’t think he could wait until they were at the resort to have Minho inside him– he wanted him now .

He removed his face from its hidden position, drawing Minho into a deep and desperate kiss. Minho squeaked in surprise but drew Jisung in closer at the waist, deepening the contact of their lips. Jisung wasted no time in clambering over Minho’s lap to situate himself on top of him, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck with a fervor.

“Jagi,” Minho breathed against his lips. “There’s no rush–”

“I want you.” Jisung protested, not breaking contact. He huffed the words into Minho’s mouth instead, continuing to kiss and nip at the elder’s swollen lips again immediately after. Minho grunted, holding Jisung firmly by the hips as he began to attempt to grind down against him.

“Sung-ah.” Minho asserted, attempting to tug his lips away from Jisung but he continued chasing him, not wanting to break the kiss. “Jisung, please.”

Whining high in his throat, Jisung acquiesced, leaning away enough to see Minho’s blown out eyes. His hair was mussed, tugged in various directions by Jisung’s fervent movements.

“I need you to be sure you want to do this.” Minho spoke softly, caressing the skin just under the hem of Jisung’s shirt with his thumb. The circling motion was grounding, bringing JIsung back into his head.

He wanted Minho more than anything. Jisung needed Minho to know that.

“I’m sure,” Jisung murmured, cupping Minho’s cheeks in his hands. “Need you.”

Minho stared at him momentarily, searching for any signs of hesitation. When he seemingly found none, it was like a thread snapped. All the tension that had built between them in their years of pining overflowed into this single moment. A dam Jisung had built so long ago to hold his own emotions at bay cracked, flooding his heart and body with the intense longing he’d pushed away for so long. Like two magnets attracting, they surged forward into each other. Inseparable, like a pair of unbroken chopsticks.

Pressing his hand firmly into Jisung’s back, Minho urged him to continue his motions, using his other hand to steer Jisung’s hips as their lips met in another searing kiss. Their teeth knocked together in their frantic state, but Jisung paid it no mind as he began circling his hips hesitantly. The noises he pulled from Minho’s throat urged him on and he moved more confidently, swirling and grinding down to draw more beautiful groans from the man beneath him.

Jisung pushed against Minho’s chest, forcing him to lay back against the musty yellowed sheets. He climbed fully on top of him, straddling his hips as he pushed down with increasing intensity. 

“Fuck, Sung.” Minho groaned, his grip tightening on Jisung’s hips. He bucked up into him, the friction drawing a hiss from Jisung. He reached down and tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head before staring down at Minho. His eyes roamed over Jisung’s body, darkened and blown wide. Jisung could feel his arousal beneath him and he smirked, rolling his hips harder.

Jisung wanted to see every part of Minho’s body. He had seen it more than a handful of times over the years, but Minho had always been somewhat reserved when it came to undressing. They’d accidentally walked in on each other too many times to count, which was bound to happen when they both had the codes to each other’s apartments, but Jisung had never gotten a good look at him fully naked. He vowed to change that immediately.

“Your turn,” Jisung breathed out, fumbling with the hem of Minho’s shirt. The elder chuckled breathlessly, sitting up slightly to remove the material and chuck it onto the floor. Jisung’s hands immediately found purchase on Minho’s chest, kneading the muscled flesh beneath his fingertips in awe. “Where the fuck have you been hiding these?”

Minho laughed, leaning back again. “What do you mean?”

“You have tits! They’re huge!”

Raising a brow, Minho smirked, his lopsided smile taunting. “Didn’t know you had a muscle kink.”

Jisung huffed, trailing his fingers down to Minho’s stomach, feeling the bumps of unmistakable abs in their wake. “You’ve been working out, haven’t you?” he opted to say, avoiding Minho’s jab.

Minho’s skin was sunkissed, a beautiful golden glow to it that made Jisung’s mouth water. He was gorgeous; perfect soft skin, muscles that flexed with each movement. Toned abs and arms that Jisung was beyond jealous of. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to touch each inch of Minho’s skin or have Minho touch him instead.

Patient was never a virtue Jisung possessed. He quickly grew restless at their still clothed state, rolling his hips in an attempt to find friction but not finding the amount he desired.

“You can take them off, Sung-ah.” Minho whispered, sliding a hand across his hip to the waistband of Jisung’s shorts. He seemed to hesitate, searching Jisung’s face. When Jisung nodded, he helped him hoist his hips enough to tug the material down under the swell of his ass. Instead of leaving it, Jisung slid off Minho’s lap momentarily to tug the shorts fully off his legs and fling them onto the floor. He returned to Minho only to force his own sweats off his legs, leaving them both only in their underwear. Jisung clambered back into Minho’s lap and continued his ministrations, swirling his hips in tempting circles that drew endless melodic sounds from Minho’s lips.

With a sudden display of strength, Minho sat up and flipped them over, pinning Jisung against the bed with a hand on either side of his head. Jisung’s eyes were wide, staring at Minho with a sudden rush of arousal.

“That was fucking hot.” Jisung said dumbly. Minho laughed under his breath before leaning down to capture Jisung’s lips in a soft kiss, much softer than the last few.

It didn’t last long, Jisung’s urges fueling his movements and deepening the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck, tugging him down further. It was so easy with Minho, like they were meant to be like this together. Their lips fit perfectly and Jisung couldn’t help but think that he was born for Minho. That in every life, they would find each other. Platonic or romantic, Minho’s soul and his were entwined in fate, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. The taste of Minho’s lips, the feel of his skin, was all so addictive Jisung didn’t think he could live life normally without it now that he’d had a taste of it.

Jisung became desperate quickly, bucking his hips up into Minho’s the longer they kissed. Minho moved a hand down to steady him, not allowing him the room to move as Minho pressed down against him. The friction it created was enough to draw a high whine from Jisung’s throat.

“Hyung, please.” He wanted Minho closer. It didn’t matter that their chests and groins were literally pressed as close as they could possibly be; he wanted Minho to carve out a space for himself in Jisung’s body and curl up inside.

“What is it, Sung-ah? What do you need?’

“Need you,” Jisung mumbled against his lips, still not releasing his neck from his grip. Minho laughed into his mouth and Jisung willingly absorbed the sound against his tongue.

“For me to do anything, you have to let me go, jagi.”

Jisung grumbled and begrudgingly released his hold on Minho’s shoulders. The elder sat up slightly, pulling his upper body away from Jisung’s. Both of his hands settled on Jisung’s hips, rubbing up and down slowly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, eyes fixed on Jisung.

“Yes.” The reply left Jisung’s lips instantaneously. He was more sure of this than he’d ever been about anything in his life. For years he’d pined after Minho and he was finally getting what he wanted more than anything.

Minho slipped a finger into the waistband of Jisung’s boxers. “Can I?”

Jisung nodded enthusiastically, wiggling his hips. Minho chuckled, stilling him with one hand and pulling the material out of the way with the other. Jisung’s cock sprung out and laid against his lower stomach as soon as it was free of the material, already red and leaking.

“Shit,” Minho breathed, eyes locked on it. Jisung knew his cheeks matched just how red the rest of his body was and he squirmed under the gaze. “Sung-ah, you’re so perfect.”

He didn’t know what else to do other than whine, so that’s what he did. The noise was high in his throat, needy and desperate. He’d never felt more exposed before, not with anyone else he’d ever slept with. Jisung felt as if he were under a microscope, Minho’s gaze burning into his analytically and taking in every atom of his genetic makeup.

A hand slid from his hip to the skin just around Jisung’s cock, but not quite touching it. He bucked his hips, begging silently for the touch.

“I don’t have lube. Or a condom.” Minho’s voice was flat, and when Jisung glanced up at his face, his mouth was parted slightly and he was blinking rapidly, the rest of his face pulled into an expression of realization. “How are we—“

“That’s fine,” Jisung interjected, already feeling the scarlet blossoming brighter on his face. “You can... I mean, spit works fine.” He averted his gaze with his words, too embarrassed to meet Minho’s eyes. “And I’m clean.”

“That’s— fuck, Sung, that’s so hot. You’re going to make me come before I even get my hands on you.”

“Then hurry up and touch me.” Jisung teased, and in an instant he regretted his words when Minho’s fingers wrapped tightly around his aching cock. He hissed, his hips twitching as he snapped his eyes back to stare at Minho.

“Is this what you wanted?” He asked, tilting his head innocently as he tightened his grip until it was almost painful.

Jisung only nodded rapidly.

It was further than they’d ever gotten in Jisung’s daydreams, and so much more than he’d ever expected. He’d fantasized about what it would be like to have Minho above him, or maybe below him, but it was never like this. The feeling was so intense just from the simple touch that Jisung felt ready to burst at any moment. Minho setting a wrist breaking pace right from the start didn’t help either, and Jisung was unable to stop the coil in his core from pulling tight at a rapid speed.

“Minho,” he gasped out only minutes later. “Please, I’m gonna—“

The hand on his cock disappeared instantly. Jisung stared at him wide eyed, hips twitching at the loss of touch.

“Flip over.”

Jisung did as instructed without question, scrambling onto his hands and knees so fast he nearly lost his balance and planted face first into the bedsheets. Minho tugged his hips backwards towards him, ass propped high in the air. Jisung bent himself down onto his elbows, arching his back in an exaggerated manner.

It was a vulnerable position. He knew Minho could see everything like this, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about his best friend staring at his ass hole.

But when a wet, hot object touched his rim tentatively, all those thoughts flew out the window. He knew he said spit worked, but he hadn’t imagined this .

“Fuck,” Jisung moaned, unable to hold it back.

Minho’s hands parted his ass cheeks, giving him unobstructed access to Jisung’s puckered hole. He dove in without abandon, lapping at the rim with enthusiasm. He pressed his tongue flat against the skin below his hole, licking a stripe from his perineum and back up to where Jisung wanted him most. Then he stiffened his tongue, poking the tip against the ring of muscle. Jisung did his best to not tense at the feeling, and he did well enough that Minho was able to push past it until he was practically fucking Jisung with his tongue.

The feeling was euphoric. In the few years he’d been sleeping with men, he’d never actually been properly eaten out. Most of the men he slept with seemed to be closeted like him, or too masculine to want anything but their dicks near a hole that wasn’t a vagina. Minho clearly didn’t care, lapping at Jisung’s hole like it was his last meal.

He noticed almost immediately that Minho was being extremely messy. Sloppy in the best possible way. He would gather saliva in his mouth and spit it directly on Jisung’s rim, working it in with his tongue afterward. Jisung wasn’t sure whether this was how Minho always was, or if he was doing it because they didn’t have lube, but he loved it either way.

Minho soon brought a finger up to add to the mess. When it pressed against Jisung’s rim, he tensed only momentarily before Minho eased it in slowly.

Within minutes Minho was practically fucking Jisung with his finger, slipping in another beside it when Jisung began writhing, trying to fuck himself back on it.

“You’re doing so well, jagi.” Minho cooed, using his clean hand to spread him further and massage the flesh off his ass.

“Minho,” Jisung breathed out, trying to angle himself so Minho’s fingers would rub against his prostate. “More, please. Need more.”

A third finger slid in with ease, his hole stretched enough to push in completely in one swift movement.

“Fuck, Sung-ah. Just sucking my fingers right in, hm?”

Jisung whined, the stretch finally enough to make him feel full. But it wasn’t enough, even when Minho’s fingers brushed the bundle of nerves, making him twitch and moan out.

“Hyung, need you to fuck me.”

Minho stilled his fingers, pressing directly against his prostate. “You’re forgetting something, jagi. What do we say when we want something?”

“Please , hyung.”

There was one more kiss pressed to his hole before Minho pulled his fingers out, the emptiness making Jisung whine.

“Flip back over.” Minho instructed, tapping his hip.

This was it. Jisung was about to have sex with his best friend— the love of his life, more accurately. The nerves in his chest pulled taut, threatening to push his heart up and out his throat. There was no turning back now.

He turned over, grabbing a pillow to tuck under his ass as he rotated. When he caught a glimpse of Minho, his breath stopped.

Completely undressed now, Minho was breathtaking. His tanned skin was void of blemishes, save for the scar on his stomach, right below his ribs. And further down, his vision aided by the trail of dark hair running down past his belly button, was the most perfect cock Jisung had ever laid eyes on. Cheesy, sure, but he was sure it was true. Big, but not too much so, thick and red, tip pooling with precum.

“Shit.” Jisung whispered, rushing to get himself into position. The moment he was on his back, Minho was between his legs, hands on his knees and rubbing soothing patterns into his skin.

“You’re totally sure about this?” Minho asked, staring at Jisung with a level of fondness that had Jisung’s heart bursting.

He nodded. “I am, hyung. If I don’t have your dick in me in the next minute I might just push you over and do it myself.”

Minho chuckled, deep and sultry, but the sigh at the end that Jisung had grown so fond of over the years was still present. Part of him preened at the knowledge that he’d heard that a million times before.

“Alright, no need for that.” Minho assured, rubbing Jisung’s knee one more time before he inches forward, nestling himself in between Jisung’s thighs.

“Can you,” Jisung started, but when Minho’s eyes locked on his he felt the heat rise to his cheeks once more and he lost his words. Looking away at the wall, down at the bedsheets, anywhere that wasn’t Minho’s deep gaze, he found the courage to ask, “Can you lean down, maybe? Like… don’t sit up?”

He heard a tiny chuckle come from Minho, and he risked a glance. When he did, Minho’s mouth was pulled into his usual cocky grin, but his eyes were filled with adoration. He raised a brow when their eyes met, making Jisung’s cheeks flare hotter.

“You don’t have to be nervous to ask, jagiya.”

With that, Minho leaned forward, pressing a delicate kiss to Jisung’s lips before leaning back again. He kept one arm holding him up beside Jisung’s hip while he brought the other up to his mouth. He shifted his cheeks around for a moment, gathering spit before he released it into his palm. The action made Jisung’s cock twitch against his stomach. Minho moved his hand down, using his own saliva to slick himself up, stroking the length of his cock, thumbing over the slit and spreading the precum there as well.

He shifted forward until his tip was pressed against Jisung’s rim, and with one more glance and a confirming nod, he pushed in slowly.

Nothing could have prepared Jisung for the feeling. Something locked into place within him as Minho inched in, stretching his hole much more than his fingers had done. It felt like they were tethered, like it was meant to be this way. It felt like coming home.

When Minho bottomed out, hips pressed flush against Jisung’s ass, he leaned down and hovered over Jisung’s chest. Face to face, Jisung could see the way Minho was straining not to move to allow him to get used to the stretch. Jisung, on the other hand, wanted Minho to rearrange his insides and make space for himself internally.

They could save that for later.

Jisung wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck, tugging him down into a deep kiss. It was slower, deeper than before. More meaningful when they were connected at their cores.

“You can move,” Jisung sighed out into Minho’s mouth after a minute. Minho hummed against his lips, beginning to grind his hips into Jisung’s slowly.

He gained more confidence as he pulled moans from Jisung’s throat, beginning to pull out further and properly fuck back into him at a leisurely pace. Jisung didn’t hold back from letting the various sounds loose, moaning loudly enough that if there were neighbors in the room next to them, they were surely hearing it.

“Faster, hyung. More,” Jisung babbled, closing his eyes when Minho brushed against his prostate. “Fuck! Yes, yes, more, please!”

Minho obliged, poisoning his hips forward at an increased speed. He snapped them harder as he pulled almost fully out before slamming back in, drawing a loud whine from Jisung’s throat. The force had Jisung shifting up the sheet slightly with each thrust.

“You feel so good, jagi.” Minho panted, hanging his head down to tuck his face into Jisung’s neck. Pressing a kiss to the soft skin there, he murmured, “so perfect for me.”

“Just for you,” Jisung agreed, digging his blunt nails into the flesh of Minho’s shoulder. “Good for you.”

He felt Minho huff out a laugh, the hot air blowing directly on his collarbone.

“That’s right, just for me.”

Heat surged through Jisung’s veins at the praise. It felt   right this way, to be claimed, to be told he was Minho’s. To finally be his.

The slap of skin against skin filled the room along with their mixed pants and moans. Where Jisung was loud and unabashed in his volume, Minho was reserved, rather groaning against Jisung’s neck than moaning outright. Even though he wasn’t loud, the speed at which he fucked into Jisung combined with the occasional curse falling from hip lips let Jisung know they were feeling the same sensations.

“‘M close, Min.” Jisung breathed out, gripping Minho’s shoulders. Minho grunted, increasing his pace. He pushed himself up and away from Jisung’s neck, causing him to whine, until he brought a hand down to wrap around Jisung’s neglected cock. He stroked him at a pace matching his thrusts, slowing down his hips to stroke him in tandem.

“So perfect for me, jagi. So beautiful like this.” Minho commented, eyes trained on Jisung’s cock between them.

It was enough to make the building heat in his core pour over. Jisung moaned out, his back arching as he came in spurts. His cum dripped out over Minho’s fist as he worked him through it. Minho didn’t release him until he milked him completely. White painted Jisung’s lower stomach, pooling on his skin as Minho returned to his fast paced thrusts.

Still coming down from his high, Jisung barely registered the, “Inside, come inside,” that spilled from his lips incoherently.

“Shit, Sung,” Minho hissed, his hips losing their rhythm as he approached his own orgasm. A few thrusts later, he pressed in completely, sheathing himself as he spilled inside Jisung. His hips snapped forward lazily, fucking his cum deeper until his cock stopped twitching inside him.

Nearly collapsing on top of him, Minho pressed an open mouthed kiss to Jisung’s lips.

They laid like that for a while, Minho holding himself up on his elbows as they panted into each other’s mouths rather than kissed. Eventually, Minho pulled out, his cum dripping from Jisung’s hole as he rushed to grab toilet paper from the bathroom.

When he returned he wiped them both clean haphazardly before collapsing on the bed beside Jisung.

Rolling over to tuck himself into Minho’s side, Jisung hummed in contentment. He felt settled, at ease with himself in Minho’s proximity. The exhaustion from their actions was threatening to pull him under into a deep sleep, but he wanted to make sure his emotions were conveyed first.

“Thank you,” Jisung mumbled, his cheek pressed against Minho’s shoulder. Minho glanced down at him, raising a brow. “For loving me. For not leaving.”

Minho frowned slightly. He shifted himself, tucking his arm under Jisung’s head and pulling him fully into his chest.

“Sung-ah, I would never leave you. Sure, I was upset, but I would never leave.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Jisung’s head, squeezing him tightly into his arms. “And you don’t have to thank me for loving you. It’s what you deserve.”

Jisung shook his head as best as he could in Minho’s grip. “I haven’t deserved anything for a while. I’ve been a stuck up jerk and I didn’t see it until you told me. I should consider myself lucky you still love me after all that.”

Minho grabbed Jisung’s chin in between his thumb and index finger, guiding him to look up at him.

“Jagi, you deserve the world. My love for you won’t just disappear because of some mistakes you’ve made along the way. I’m here to help you realize those mistakes and fix them. And I would expect you to do the same for me, as we’ve always done for each other.”

Jisung felt tears welling in his eyes at Minho’s words. To be loved so unconditionally, to feel like he truly had someone in his corner no matter what, was overwhelming. Even though Minho was beside him for a large majority of his life, that was something he needed to explicitly hear. It was an overwhelming rush of relief, an ocean of comfort flowing into his veins.

“Come on.” Minho smiled, wiping away a lone tear that escaped onto Jisung’s cheek. “Let’s get ready for bed. I don’t know about you, but I would prefer not to sleep naked in this bed.”

✈︎

Though the two had confessed their feelings– and consummated such confessions– Jisung still didn’t enjoy their sleeping arrangements. Not because he was uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as the love of his life, but because he was a very difficult sleeper.

Jisung was known for moving around and kicking people in his sleep, and as much as he loved being affectionate with people, his sleep was one area he never was. After kicking his friend   Hyunjin during a sleepover in his early teens and leaving a bruise on the poor boy’s hip, he vowed to never share a bed again.

However, Minho was not having it. As soon as Jisung offered to sleep on the floor, the older man picked him up as if he were a feather and threw him onto the bed, crawling in immediately after him.

He wrapped his arms around Jisung, pulling the younger’s back into his chest with ease. Despite Jisung’s many protests, he didn’t let him budge.

“I don’t care if you kick me, you’re not getting out of this bed.” Minho stated, hugging him close with his chin tucked over Jisung’s still bare shoulder.

The younger huffed, feigning displeasure. He couldn’t deny the feeling of being wrapped in Minho’s arms felt like heaven. After a few moments he gave in, shifting his body into a comfortable position. Minho’s breath was hot on his neck, each exhale tickling Jisung’s skin.

Silence settled over the two for a while. Jisung thought Minho had fallen asleep based on how even his breathing had become, but the older soon broke the silence.

“How long?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but with his mouth right beside Jisung’s ear it was easy to hear.

Jisung hummed, shuffling his body around to face Minho.

“How long what?”

Minho chuckled, the soft rumble vibrating both of their chests. “How long have you known?”

“Which situation are we talking about– how long I’ve been gay or how long I’ve been in love with you?”

“Both, I guess.” Minho smiled, pressing a smile kiss to Jisung’s nose who then wrinkled it but laughed.

Jisung let out a small sigh, nuzzling his cheek against Minho’s chest to hide his face while he explained.

“I guess I’ve always known I wasn’t straight. I was never interested in women, at least not in that way. I was more interested in befriending them for fashion advice and gossip, you know? People just took that as me being popular and friendly in school, though. I realized eventually that I wasn’t into girls at all and I only looked at guys in that way. You know I dated a few girls in school, but I’ll be completely honest– those were all me trying to convince myself I just wasn’t with the right one. That I would find a girl and settle down and be happy, you know? After the third one, I think, I realized it was pointless and I was just ruining my outlook on romance and relationships by entering these relationships with the mindset that I needed to fix myself.” Jisung paused and took a deep breath. Minho hugged him closer, giving him the strength to continue. “So I stopped trying, and I ended up hooking up with men instead. Usually at parties or clubs. That’s when I knew that’s what I wanted and was interested in, but I also didn’t continue that for long. Not after I started doing this blogging thing.”

Minho hummed, bringing a hand up to run it through Jisung’s bleached locks. 

“I won’t judge your process, everyone is different and I don’t blame you for any of it. I’m just glad that you figured yourself out and you’re happy with who you are. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.” A kiss was pressed to Jisung’s forehead and held there. He tried his best not to melt at the gesture, but felt his muscles loosen regardless.

Jisung took a deep breath before he spoke again.

“To answer your second question, it started in seventh grade.”

This confession caused Minho to pull back and look at Jisung with widened eyes and raised brows. “That was the year we met, though.”

The younger one nodded, leaning back to rest his cheek on Minho’s chest and play with the hem of Minho’s shirt under the blanket.

“I think me realizing I liked you as more than just a friend was what made me think there was something I needed to fix. I couldn’t stand the thought of ruining a new friendship because I had a crush.”

He felt Minho tense a bit, but the hand carding through his hair didn’t stop. Jisung pulled back once again, looking Minho in the eyes.

“That was stupid of me, though, because this,” he gestured between them, “whatever it is, I’m more mad at myself for not admitting it sooner.”

Jisung had always felt like he and Minho had clicked instantly. They met at a birthday party one of his older friends had been invited to and he’d tagged along. He wasn’t supposed to be there, not really. He was only thirteen at the time, surrounded by teens three years his senior. Even though he was admittedly popular within his own year, he felt nervous enough around the older kids to hide himself off in a dark corner of the living room in the house. Minho had noticed him– he was the only one who had. The older was nice enough to go over and introduce himself, and they hit it off immediately. Minho kept him company all night, even declining invitations to play games with the friends he had come with.

“What do you want, Hannie? This can be whatever you make it. I won’t push you.” Minho spoke softly, his voice warm but tentative.

If that question had been asked three years ago, Jisung wouldn’t have had an answer. He had changed so much as a person since he started his social media journey that sometimes he didn’t even recognize himself. Now, he just wanted to be himself.

“I want you. Us . I want to be myself with no regard for what other people think of me.” His voice wavered, but he did his best to keep steady. “I want to be happy. You make me happy.”

A wide grin spread across Minho’s face, one eye squinting a small amount more than the other. He didn’t hesitate as he pulled Jisung in, kissing him firmly. This was much different than the rest. Their first kiss had been full of desperation that stemmed from hesitation. This one was much slower, more sure, and laced with what Jisung could only interpret as love.

Moments passed before they separated, leaning their foreheads together. 

“Then I’ll be yours for as long as you’ll have me, Sung.”

✈︎

Jisung didn’t even remember falling asleep, but he couldn’t complain when he awoke wrapped in the arms of his best friend– lover? Boyfriend? He wasn’t sure what the technical term would be now that they made their confessions, but he was just happy he was able to finally tell Minho how he felt. He had never expected things to go his way, but he knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.

The warmth that enveloped him made Jisung want to do nothing more than go back to sleep and bask in their closeness, but he knew he had a contract to fulfill and they needed to get up and figure out their next steps.

“Min,” he called softly, tapping the man’s arm that was wrapping securely around his hips. “We need to get up.”

The man stirred, letting out a low groan as he nestled his face into the back of Jisung’s neck. “Five more minutes.”

Jisung suppressed a giggle as Minho’s breath blew across his neck, tickling him. He forced himself to turn in Minho’s arms, which proved to be a difficult feat as Minho tightened his arms in an attempt to keep Jisung from getting out of bed.

The younger placed a soft kiss on Minho's cheek. “We can cuddle all you want when we get to the resort we’re supposed to be at.”

Minho cracked an eye open, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“All I want?” Jisung nodded. Minho’s smirk widened. “Looks like you won’t be doing any of those all–inclusive activities then. You’ll be stuck in bed with me.”

Jisung let out a laugh, smacking Minho softly on the shoulder. The older relinquished his hold on him, but not before pressing kisses all over his face.

They both pulled themselves out of the creaky bed and dug through their bags to find the clothes they had packed for the day. Minho offered to let Jisung shower first, which he accepted without hesitation. Both the hike and the motel room made him feel grimy and disgusting, along with their actions the previous night.

He walked into the small bathroom and flicked the light switch, which caused the only dim bulb in the room to flicker a few times before it kicked on completely, followed by a buzzing sound. With a sigh he dragged his feet over to the old looking tub/shower combo. He gazed inside, grimacing at the yellowing tile on the walls and the not so clean looking tub.

Jisung undressed as quickly as he could and turned the knob to start the shower. The pipes behind the wall squealed for a moment before water shot out of the shower head, freezing and with terrible pressure. He waited a moment for it to heat up, and once he realized the best he was getting was slightly above room temperature, he groaned and stepped in.

The blogger never tried to take advantage of his status or take his life for granted, but damn would he do anything for a hot shower right now. 

Jisung scrubbed as quickly as he could, trying to rid himself of both the physical and metaphorical grime of the last 24 hours.

He finished in what be believed was his new record and hopped out from under the lukewarm spray. Grabbing one of the scratchy looking towels from the rack, he dried himself and dressed in the small space. There wasn’t much he could do for his hair, but he tried his best to towel dry it and make it look presentable.

Exiting the dingy bathroom, he saw Minho lounging on the bed with his clothes piled beside him and his phone in hand. The sound of the door opening caught his attention and he looked up at Jisung.

“Feeling less gross now?” He teased, knowing how much Jisung hated grime.

The younger groaned, flopping down beside him. “That shower sucks. The water doesn’t get hot and the pressure is non–existent.”

“Oh, poor baby.” Minho cooed, turning onto his side to pinch Jisung’s cheek. Jisung whined, slapping at his hand but laughing regardless. The older reached down and tugged Jisung’s hip towards him, making the other roll into him and press their chests flush together. “You can take a nice, hot shower once we get to your fancy resort.”

“I thought you weren’t going to let me do anything but cuddle.” Jisung pointed out, sending Minho a wink.

“I suppose I could give you a few minutes of leeway.” The older joked, pulling Jisung in for a brief kiss before he got up to go take his own shower.

As he walked through the doorway, he turned back for a moment. “Oh, I called the mechanic in town while you were showering. They said they’ll go pick up the car and bring it back here to fix. Should be done in a few hours, they’ll call when it’s finished. Hefty towing fee though.”

Jisung nodded, not caring about the cost. He could easily pay for it, and he would be asking the rental company for a refund anyway.

Minho showered and cleaned up even quicker than Jisung had, and within minutes they were ready to check out and meander around the town while they waited for the car to be done. Both men were more than happy to be out of the stuffy room and out in the fresh air.

They decided to go get breakfast at a diner across the street from the motel. The place was small, but looked inviting. As soon as they walked in the door, a warm and delicious aroma hit their noses, making both their stomachs growl.

A young man, likely around their age, greeted them from behind the counter across the room. He was serving coffee to a lone patron at one of the bar stools. The man was gorgeous, not someone you’d ever expect to see working in a tiny diner in a one–stop town.

“Welcome in! Feel free to sit anywhere, I’ll be with you soon.” He beamed at them before he turned to wipe down a recently abandoned spot at the counter.

They made their way to a booth near the corner of the diner. Jisung took a moment to look around, his interest piqued. The diner was a typical American 50’s style diner with the chrome, red and white design thrown up all over the interior. He found he didn’t mind it, however. It was somewhat endearing to stumble upon a piece of authentic American history. The place seemed old, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it had been here since even before the 50’s.

“Hi there, my name’s Felix and I’ll be taking care of you today. Can I get you something to drink?” The young man was even more breathtaking up close. His bleached blonde hair was pulled back in a half updo, keeping it out of his face but looking majestic all the same. Freckles littered his cheeks, making him look even more cheerful. He had an accent Jisung couldn’t quite place, but it sounded vaguely familiar.

They both ordered coffee, needing the energy for the long day. Felix gave them a cheerful nod and headed off to grab their drinks, leaving them with menus.

Felix soon returned with their drinks and took their order– pancakes for Jisung and waffles for Minho. 

“So, what brings you two here?” The waiter asked as he took their menus from them.

The men exchanged a look and Minho made a gesture for Jisung to explain. “We were on our way to Malibu and our rental broke down.”

“Malibu? Are you from there?” Felix asked, his eyes widened. Jisung shook his head.

“No, we’re from South Korea actually. We’re here for work.”

Felix’s eyes lit up and he bounced on his toes. Jisung noticed his hand tighten on the menus, seemingly out of excitement.

“You’re Korean? I am too! I lived in Australia growing up, though. Then I came here to act– you see how that turned out. I haven’t been to Korea in years .” The man seemed excited to be speaking to people of a similar background, which Jisung likened to the fact that there likely weren’t many people in this town– let alone those of different cultural backgrounds.

Felix quickly delivered their order to the kitchen before he pranced back over to their booth. They chatted for a short while, switching between English and Korean, until their food was ready. Jisung felt a little bad for the man, assuming they were the first opportunity he’d had to speak Korean in person in a while.

The duo ate in mostly silence, too enveloped in the rich tastes of the very American breakfast. Casual conversation was passed between them, but Jisung was too busy stuffing his cheeks full to really reply with much more than grunts.

Jisung enjoyed this type of company. He never felt pressured being around Minho, who he had known for such a long time. The other man had always had a way of making Jisung feel at ease, as if every problem in the world ceased to exist when Minho was in his presence. Now that their feelings were out in the air, he felt like any weight that may have been on his shoulders had lifted into the clouds. He felt like Minho was his lifeboat, keeping him afloat any time things felt too difficult and like he was going to be dragged under.

Their plates were cleared before Jisung even realized he had finished his food. Felix gave him another beaming smile as he delivered their check.

As the waiter turned to head back to the kitchen once more, he paused and looked over his shoulder. “I hope I’m not assuming, but you two make a very cute couple.”

Jisung felt his face burning pink all the way to the tips of his ears, but Minho just laughed cheerfully.

“Thank you. He means the world to me.” Minho replied, voice clearly full of adoration.

If Jisung wasn’t already blushing, he sure was now.

They hadn’t talked about the night before, both their actions and their words. Minho had been more affectionate when they woke up, and Jisung definitely wasn’t complaining about the amount of kisses he received between waking and leaving the motel room. 

He loved how easy it felt. It was right , being with Minho this way. But he hoped they would really talk about it eventually, about what they were, rather than ghost around it. Jisung didn’t want to ghost around it, he wanted to know exactly what Minho wanted, how he felt.

“Sung?”

Jisung blinked a few times, his eyes refocusing to see Minho staring at him in concern.

“Where’d you go, baby? I lost you for a bit there.” Minho reached across the table and grasped Jisung’s hand in his as he spoke.

Jisung smiled shyly at him, partially due to embarrassment but also from the nickname. “Sorry, I just… got in my head a little.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Minho asked, rubbing a soothing circle into the back of Jisung’s hand with his thumb. He shook his head, unable to even think of where to begin. Minho sighed. “Alright, but if it continues to bother you, please tell me?”

When Jisung agreed, albeit apprehensively, Minho smiled and squeezed his hand. They then gathered their belongings and took their bill up to the counter to pay with Felix. The grin the blonde sent their way when they departed was blinding enough that the sun could have been inside the diner. He truly was a delight, and Jisung was saddened to be leaving him.

As they were about to head out the door and back to the empty streets of the tiny town, Jisung turned on his heel and bounded back to the counter, offering his phone to Felix and asking him to put his number in, which he did with a sparkle in his eye.

“What was that about?” Minho grumbled when Jisung returned to his side.

Jisung clicked his tongue at him. “Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, hyung?”

“What— no!”

Bumping his shoulder against Minho’s, Jisung giggled. “I just wanted to get his number to see if I could set him up with any connections in LA. Don’t worry, I’m all yours.”

Jisung realized the implication of his words once they left his mouth, and he didn’t miss the smirk that tugged at the side of Minho’s mouth. He pulled him to a stop in the parking lot, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s waist and tugging him into his chest.

“All mine, hm?” He teased, leaning in until their noses were touching.

Jisung’s heart was racing, threatening to beat its way out of his chest. This was his opening to really push for what he wanted, to take the leap and dive head first into water he didn’t know the depth of. They had spoken about it last night, but he wasn’t sure how serious this was for Minho. It was everything for Jisung.

Taking a deep breath, he wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck. “Hyung, what are we— what is this?”

He could see Minho’s brow furrow and felt his arms stiffen around him. “What do you mean?”

“Like,” Jisung began, trying to articulate the words in his brain before he spoke them without a filter. “Are we… dating?”

Minho pulled away slightly, holding Jisung at arms length.

“Sung-ah, what does ‘I’ll be yours for as long as you’ll have me’ mean to you, hm?”

Jisung flushed. “I just, I wasn’t sure if it was that serious and—“

Minho cut him off with a delicate kiss, a simple brush of their lips. He pulled away before it could become anything more, tugging a whine from Jisung’s throat. He settled their foreheads together, his hands taking purchase on Jisung’s hips.

“If you want us to be dating, then we’re dating. Simple as that, Sung.” He murmured, his breath grazing Jisung’s upper lip.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Minho echoed.

Jisung only nodded before tugging Minho’s lips back to his.

They stood in the parking lot making out for much longer than what would be considered appropriate for public. Before they could get themselves into trouble for public indecency, Minho pulled himself away again. His lips were reddened and swollen ever so slightly, making Jisung’s heart skip. He was beautiful, even more so when Jisung knew he was the cause of it.

“Let’s go explore, hm?” Minho suggested, sliding his hand down to grasp Jisung’s in his own and tugging him along. “You can take more photos. I’ll model, promise.”

Jisung grinned at his boyfriend. Then, the thought of Minho being his made his grin even wider, making him look like a madman. 

Until now, they’d been two flights taking off from the same place, but never landing at the same destination. Never on the same page, at least not consciously. Perhaps they’d always been one step apart; one of them missing the flight they were meant to be on, having to catch the next one. But now they were hand in hand, boarding together to wherever their destination would be. Minho guided Jisung down the few streets that made up the town, pointing out vintage cars and old buildings that Jisung could take photos of. Along the way, he posed without being prompted, drawing countless grins from Jisung.

The sun was barely reaching its peak in the sky when Minho’s phone rang out. He straightened from his slumped position against an old abandoned gas station where he’d been posing for a photo and fished his phone from his pocket.

When he answered, Jisung stepped closer, lowering the camera from his face. Minho nodded along with whatever the person on the other line was saying before he locked eyes with Jisung and mouthed ‘car’. Jisung’s eyes widened and he swung his backpack from his back and tucked the camera back in, then bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for Minho to finish the phone call.

“Thank you so much, we’ll be right over.” Minho finished up, pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call. Then, he glanced at Jisung and grinned wide. “Car’s done.”

The mechanic shop was on the other side of town, just on the outskirts. As they approached it, Jisung noticed it was more well kept than the majority of buildings in the area, but it still fit in. The outside was clean, void of any sand or dirt in the cracks between the bricks. While the driveway and tiny parking lot was old and cracking, weeds sprouting up towards the harsh sunlight in any openings they could find, the garage doors were pristine. They glinted in the sun, nearly blinding Jisung when he dumbly stared right at them.

Minho opened the door for him, placing a hand on his back to guide him inside, a bell dinging above their heads as he did so. When he followed, he didn’t remove the hand, opting to rub abstract patterns into the small of Jisung’s back.

“Be right there!” A voice called from the open door leading to the garage. Jisung could hear a speaker spewing out rap music from the workshop.

A few moments later, a well-muscled man rounded the corner into the office, grinning wide at them. His arms were bare, only a thin white tank hugging his torso. He was covered in various black marks, both temporary and permanent. Tattoos spanned his arms, oil and grease staining the art.

“You Minho?” He asked, glancing at Minho. He must have noticed the way Jisung pouted, because he turned to him with a bright smile. “Sorry, you just don’t look like a Minho! If I’m wrong, totally apologize.”

“No, you’re right.” Minho laughed, tugging Jisung into his side by the waist. Jisung went easily, slumping into his boyfriend’s side.

The man held a hand out that Minho gripped with ease. “Name’s Changbin.”

They all exchanged pleasantries before Changbin dug through paperwork on the desk in front of him and set it out between them.

“So, you did quite a number on that car.” He started, leaning his hip on the desk and crossing his arms. “Both the air filter and radiator were fully clogged, which caused your engine failure. Did you drive through a sandstorm?”

Minho and Jisung exchanged a look which made Changbin bellow out in laughter.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fixed now. I saw it was a rental, so I assume you didn’t know any better.” He pushed himself away from the desk, digging out a pen and turning a small stack of papers towards them. “I just need you to fill these out. Total for the work is at the bottom.”

Jisung didn’t bat an eye as he stole the pen from Changbin and directed the papers to himself, signing everything without hesitation. He heard Minho make a sound of protest, but nothing further. When he finished, he passed the papers back to Changbin. He then fished out his wallet, handing his card over without prompting.

Changbin thanked him and ran it before handing it back, tucking the papers into a folder in the filing cabinet behind him. He then printed out their receipt and passed it over before finding the car key and handing it to Minho.

“Car’s on the side of the building, it should be good to go.” He pointed in the direction of the lot. “Getting back on the road right away?”

Minho nodded. “Yeah, we were supposed to be at our hotel yesterday. Business trip.”

“If you have time, you should stop by the diner down the street. Great food. My boyfriend works there.”

The realization struck Jisung. “Felix?”

Changbin raised a brow, a smile tugging at his lips. “You met him?”

“Got his number, actually.” Jisung’s eyes widened when he processed his own words. “To connect him with agents! In LA—  For his acting!”

Snorting out a laugh, Changbin rounded the desk and clapped a hand over Jisung’s shoulder. “Pretty sure I have no reason to worry about you flirting with my boyfriend when you have mister guard dog here.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Minho who flushed, the tips of his ears burning red.

Jisung sputtered, trying to find a defense, but Changbin simply chuckled louder and patted his shoulder before heading back over to the door into the workshop.

“I hope the rest of your trip goes smoothly,” Changbin paused in the doorway, leaning his shoulder against the frame. “Fair warning, when Felix makes a friend he’s insufferable. Be prepared to rack up a big international call bill.”

When they climbed in their rental car outside the shop, Jisung had a feeling he’d made two new friends in the place he’d least expected.

✈︎

Getting back on the road was much easier the second time around.

The two bid the tiny town farewell through their rearview mirror as they drove back down the road they’d broken down on. When they passed the point they’d been forced to abandon the car the day prior, it was as if the air in the car was still as they both held their breaths and expected the worst. When nothing happened, a collective breath was released and they grinned at each other. Then, Minho navigated the car back towards the main highway to their destination.

Jisung opted to slide his laptop out of his bag and look at all the photos he’d taken in the past day.“Anything good?” Minho asked, his eyes flickering towards Jisung’s screen for a millisecond before redirecting back to the road ahead.

Jisung hummed, clicking away at the trackpad. “Pretty different from what I normally post, but you look cute in them.”

Minho’s breathy chuckle rang out in the small space of the car, a high melody in Jisung’s ears. It was soothing, seeping into Jisung’s exposed skin and loosening his muscles.

“Not cuter than you.”

Pausing his fingers on his keyboard, Jisung slowly trailed his eyes over to his boyfriend.

“That was the lamest, cheesiest thing you could have said.” He deadpanned. Minho raised a brow, attempting a straight face, but Jisung could see the corner of his mouth twitching as he fought back a smile. He reached a hand out and tapped Minho’s cheek, expecting to pull it away afterward. Instead, Minho kept his eyes on the road and freed a hand from the wheel, bringing it up to grasp Jisung’s in his own and entwine their fingers, setting them on the armrest between the seats.

They’d held hands countless times, from airports when Jisung got a little too overwhelmed to shopping in a foreign country and making sure one of them didn’t get lost. But this felt different. It wasn’t electricity the way people in romance novels usually describe. It was comforting. The feeling of home, of peace. A warm blanket tucked carefully over someone when they fall asleep on the couch. Sunshine brightening a room as the sun rose over the horizon. The warm embrace of a lover. A sense of belonging.

Jisung grinned to himself as they fell into a comfortable silence. He could work with one hand, it was just a little slower. He didn’t mind— not when his hand was encased in Minho’s.

Eventually, when the silence was too silent for Jisung, he reached his free hand over and flicked the radio on. A soft lull filled the car, a slow ballad from a popular artist he couldn’t remember the name of. As he focused back on his work, he heard Minho humming along to the song quietly.

Minho should have been a singer. An idol, maybe. He had the face for it, and the vocals to go along with it. In school, he’d been in a dance company as well. He was a true trifecta, and Jisung didn’t understand why he hadn’t pursued it. His voice was angelic, even when he wasn’t trying. It was smooth, a little velvety, like the first snow of the season falling over the landscape. A perfect, soft blanket of white that melted when touched. Jisung reached over discreetly to turn the volume up, hoping Minho would grace him with actual singing rather than nondescript humming.

He did. When the volume was high enough to drown out his humming, Minho opened his mouth and sang along to the soft ballad, his voice blending immaculately with the female singer’s voice. It was as if he were on the original recording, a duet meant for the world to hear.

As they continued on their drive, Minho sang along to whatever played. Fast paced, upbeat songs to slow, harrowing sad songs. Jisung enjoyed each one, simply content to listen to his free private concert. He joined in at some points unknowingly as he edited, the beat of the song pulling him in subconsciously. At some point in their drive, their hands separated to make it easier for Jisung to edit and Minho’s hand navigated to Jisung’s knee, resting there as if familiar with it.

Jisung finished up editing a large chunk of his photos and exported them before airdropping a few to his phone to upload to social media. He chose his favorite ones, including the one he took of Minho with the town and mountains in the background. When it popped up on his screen, he smiled wide. Making a mental note to set it as his phone background later, he typed up a caption and posted it without much thought.

Immediately he began getting likes and comments, which usually made him smile. Instead, as he leisurely refreshed the page and pulled up the handful of comments already left, one in particular caught his eye, making him frown.

‘Why does this sound like a soft launch? He better not be gay.’ The comment said. It had a few likes already. Jisung scrolled back up to his post to read his caption.

‘Unexpected adventures in the middle of nowhere. Our car decided it needed a break, but luckily, I've got the best partner to keep me calm and collected. Minho always knows how to turn a stressful situation into a memorable experience. From the small town vibes to the breathtaking mountain views, this trip is one for the books. Can’t wait to show you all our experiences at the resorts!’

It was an innocent caption, or at least Jisung had thought so. He’d posted plenty of photos of Minho on his page before and had never had any comments like that. At least, none he’d seen or paid attention to.

“What’s wrong?”

A squeeze to his thigh followed the words and Jisung jolted, jerking his head to look at Minho. The elder was glancing between him and the road, his brows slightly furrowed.

“Nothing,” Jisung lied, sitting up straighter. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re frowning at your phone. What is it?” Minho pushed. “Please don’t lie to me.”

Jisung glanced down at his screen, the notification icon on the app lighting up with a red dot and a 99 bubble. He resisted the urge to click on them and read more rude comments.

Instead, he sighed and locked his phone. “I uh— I posted some pictures and I guess my caption was a little too…” He trailed off, unable to figure out what word would convey the hateful words he’d read.

“Too gay?” Minho supplied. Jisung bit his lip, but nodded.

Jisung knew he’d messed up when Minho sighed. Then, when the hand on his thigh disappeared and returned to the steering wheel, he nearly keened. 

“Hyung, I—“

Minho reached over and cranked the volume on the radio, drowning Jisung’s words in pop music that left a sour taste in Jisung’s mouth.

Biting his lip, Jisung tried not to tear up. He closed his laptop and tucked it back in his bag before turning in his seat to face away from Minho and lean his head against the window.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence from the two. The car was still filled with the infuriating sound of music, flitting from the number one song in the country to old songs from the two-thousands that Jisung wanted to sing along to. But his heart ached too badly.

In less than a day, he’d ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He’d promised, he’d told Minho he would stop caring what people thought of him. That he would be truly, authentically himself and stop worrying about his image. He hadn’t said anything about the comments specifically, but it did hurt. The idea that his fans would hate him for who he was hurt immensely. If this was how they reacted to a hint of their relationship, how would they react when he actually announced it? What would they do to Minho?

Minho never cared about what people thought of him. Not publicly, at least. He’d always been confident in his own skin, the complete opposite of Jisung. Jisung was a coward, latched onto the tiniest piece of attention he could garner and moulded his entire being around it. Minho wasn’t like that— he always made sure people knew who he was at the core.

The feeling wrapped itself around Jisung’s lungs, squeezing until there was nothing left. He was a fraud, a shell of a person once full of a life that was his own. He was nothing but an industry puppet. Created and bred from the attention he was given, the attention he craved.

He just wanted Minho’s attention now. He didn’t care about anyone else’s; not anymore.

There was nothing for either of them to say when they finally entered the city limits and navigated through ridiculous amounts of traffic to get to the coastline and up to Malibu. Jisung stared out the window at the passing cars and the life around them. In another life, maybe he would be one of those cars. On his way to a regular nine to five, no eyes on him except those close to him. No one following his every move online, questioning every word he said.

Maybe that was the life he would have preferred.

Minho turned the car down a long drive lined with palm trees, perfectly groomed without a single palm leaf out of place.

It was a piece of paradise nestled on the coast. Almost like an entirely new world, Jisung couldn’t hear any of the traffic from the busy street behind them, nor the sounds of the city. It was simply nature, the sounds of birds chirping and the leaves rustling, as well as the lapping of the ocean against the cliffs in the distance. If he wasn’t in the depths of his mind, he would have enjoyed it more.

Pulling up to the front entrance where the valet would park their car, Minho turned it off and hopped out without a word. He marched to the back of the car and opened the tailgate before Jisung could even unbuckle his seatbelt. By the time he met him in the back, Minho had all their luggage out of the trunk and was passing it over to the bellboy. When their car was whisked away to a parking space and their bags were being wheeled inside the lobby, Jisung spared a glance at Minho. His jaw was set and his eyes were hardened, no trace of the man Jisung was in love with. The thought burrowed deep in Jisung’s gut, eating away at the nerves already settled there.

They made their way into the lobby and to the front counter where they were greeted by a much too cheerful receptionist. She quickly got them sorted, passing over keycards as soon as all of their information was verified.

Minho snatched one from her with more force than necessary and thanked her with a curt nod. Keycard in hand, Minho stomped off, his ears practically spewing steam. Jisung stared after him, a mess of emotions clouding his brain.

He knew his words in the car had been wrong. Nothing he did could change what he’d said, and what he hadn’t said.

Taking a deep breath, Jisung told himself it would be better for both of them if he let Minho be for a while. It wasn’t as if he could get into a world of trouble in the middle of a resort— the man was an adult, he could take care of himself. And he clearly didn’t want to be around Jisung, so Jisung would just have to accept it. There was plenty for him to do on his own. 

Jisung trailed aimlessly outside. The resort was similar in design to the previous one, with a winding path lined with well-kept gardening. It was slightly less tropical than the other resort, but the overall atmosphere was almost identical. Tall palm trees with lush greenery surrounded him as he traveled down the path.

Their suite was closer to the main building this time, so it took only a few minutes to reach it. He swiped the keycard and pushed the door open to a sense of deja vu. The layout was the same, even the furniture and the goddamn sea salt scented diffuser. Jisung marched over and unplugged it without hesitation.

Both his and Minho’s suitcases were parked next to the dining table this time, so he gathered his and took it to the smaller bedroom. Though they’d shared a bed in the motel, he wasn’t sure if Minho would want to be near him anytime soon and he felt it was only fair. He wasn’t even sure where they stood anymore.

The room was similar to the master, only with a blue theme rather than orange. It was a calming shade, something Jisung took comfort in.

He trudged over to the foot of the bed and threw his suitcase down, unzipping it and digging out one of his swimsuits. Jisung wasn’t sure exactly where he was planning to swim, but he’d figure it out.

As he changed, he thought back to their drive up to the resort. After they got the car back, it had been smooth sailing. He had been comfortable, content with their situation. Minho hadn’t stopped touching him in some way the entire drive— a hand on his thigh, their fingers entwined, anything to keep them tethered. Catching up on the immeasurable amount of time they’d missed out on.

Of course, Jisung had ruined that serenity for them by being a coward. Again. He’d broken his promise to Minho, made him believe he was something that needed to be hidden because Jisung was too scared to be himself.

Jisung was ashamed of himself.

In the midst of his self-pity, Jisung found himself trailing back down the path towards the main building, towel and various other belongings in hand. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he figured he’d find a pool sooner or later. His intuition was right when halfway back to the lobby, he heard music and laughter to his left. The path forked off there, trailing down towards the beach. The resort grounds were much more elevated than the one in San Diego, allowing him to see down the steeper cliffs towards the ocean. Below him was a set of pools and bars nestled behind the main building, plenty of resort guests mingling and relaxing around them.

Jisung followed the path down, careful not to trip on the jagged stone stairs leading to the bottom. Once down, the music and chatter was much louder. It immersed him immediately, somewhat calming him. Music and lounging by some over-chlorinated water wouldn’t fix all his problems, but it was a good pause.

He found a lounger to set his belongings on before he forced himself to wade into the shallow end of the nearest and largest pool. This one had a swim up bar that seemed to be quite popular— groups of people were swimming to and from it, most of the stools occupied.

The water lapped at his skin as he dipped himself further into the pool, washing away all his worries. Temporarily, until he climbed out and reunited with reality. Here, he could pretend everything was okay. His thoughts belonged to the water.

For a while, Jisung let himself lean against the wall of the pool and just bask in the lowering sun. The warmth radiated off the surface of the pool, warming his skin from the top but cooling him from the chilled depths that the sun didn’t reach.

He leaned his head back, closing his eyes and letting the sun envelope him.

“I can hear your thoughts from the bar.” Jisung’s brow furrowed and he peeled an eye open to see a man in front of him, his arms crossed with a curious smile on his lips.

“Uh—“ He began, unsure of what to say.

He shook his head, gesturing for him to follow him. Then, in a thick Australian accent, said, “let me buy you a drink. You look like you need it.”

The man turned away, beginning to wade back to the bar. When Jisung didn’t follow, simply staring at his back, dumbfounded, he turned and tilted his head.

“I promise I have no motives. You look like you need a drink, I want another. That’s all.”

Biting his cheek, Jisung allowed himself to follow. It was random and odd, but he didn’t get the vibe that he would do anything to harm him.

When they reached two empty stools, the man swung himself up on one and gestured for Jisung to join. He stared for a moment before complying. The man immediately turned to the bartender and ordered two of what sounded like the most sugar-infused concoctions on the menu.

“I’m Chan.” He turned his attention back to Jisung once the bartender left to make their drinks. “I swear I wasn’t being a creep, by the way. I’m a therapist.”

Jisung raised a brow. “Don’t therapists usually discourage drinking as a coping mechanism?”

“Drinking in moderation doesn’t hurt sometimes.” He chuckled, leaning an elbow on the bar. “As long as you don’t depend on it to make your issues disappear.”

Nodding, Jisung mimicked his pose. “Did I really look that pitiful?”

“Let’s just say I can sense troubled souls much easier than other people.”

The bartender returned, setting down two brightly pink colored margaritas, the rims of the glasses coated in sugar. Chan picked his up without hesitation, lifting it towards Jisung. He mirrored his actions, lifting his glass and clinking the rim against his. They raised them to their lips in sync, sipping on the sweet concoction.

“So,” Chan began, setting his glass down and swinging his legs to face Jisung. “Romance troubles?”

“How did you—“

He laughed again, leaning his cheek on his hand. The way he stared so intently at Jisung made him uneasy. It was as if his gaze unraveled all Jisung’s wound up emotions, leaving everything bare without a word.

“You look just like I did when I was going through problems.” He admitted, taking another sip of his drink. When he set it down, he pointed at him. “ You never told me your name.”

“Oh,” Jisung blushed, averting his gaze. “Jisung.”

Chan nodded. “Well, Jisung. From the way you were sulking without realizing it, I have a feeling you did something to cause tension in your relationship. If it is a relationship, I mean.”

“You’re right,” Jisung sighed. “It’s a long story, I won’t bore you with all the details.” He then recounted the basics of his trip up until that point, leaving out the details of their night. It was a simple retelling of their car breaking down, him acting like the absolute asshole he was, and how he came to be at the pool alone and wallowing in his own pity. He included his job in his explanation, seeing as it was the big reason for their trip and his mistakes.

Chan whistled, eyebrows raised. “Quite the story. I assume you know what you did and what you need to do to fix it?”

“That’s that problem,” Jisung groaned out, “I’ve been in love with this guy for so long I don’t wanna fuck it up. He’s my best friend— and my manager.”

“When I said I went through something similar, I wasn’t just saying that to get you to open up. I spent so long pining over someone who meant the world to me, too scared to say anything. But he was the one to make a move, not me. Jeongin– that’s his name– told me he loved me, and had for a long time. It made me realize I’d been so afraid for nothing. I could’ve had him the entire time.”

Jisung stared at him, biting his bottom lip as he waited for him to continue. Chan stopped to take another sip of his drink before turning back to him.

“What I’m saying is, it’s okay to be afraid. It’s totally normal, a perfectly fine reaction to something like this. But you know he feels the same about you. It’s just a matter of fixing things. You’ve already missed out on so much time with him. Are you really willing to miss out on more? Maybe even lose your chance all together?”

Jisung’s hand balled into a fist in his lap, mouth set in a thin line. “No, I’m not. He’s everything to me.”

Chan grinned, finishing off the last of his drink. “I can tell you’re a good guy, Jisung, and your heart’s in the right place. You just have to get your mind there.”

“Easier said than done.” Jisung sighed.

A slap to his arm made him wince, but Chan’s laugh grabbed his attention before the sting could.

“You just need to be honest with yourself. I’ve known you for all of ten minutes and I can tell how happy this guy makes you. Stop depriving yourself of happiness just because you think it’ll make others unhappy.”

The words struck a chord deep within Jisung. Every move he made was coiled with his need to please his fans, to keep his image. Nothing he ever did was just for him. 

Perhaps it was time to think for himself and himself only. His life was his to do with as he pleased.

“I can tell you’re figuring it out already.” Chan spoke, sliding himself off his stool and back into the water, taking a small waterproof bag with him that held his phone and keycard. “I have to head back to my room, I have a cute date with the love of my life. But it was really great to meet you, Jisung.”

“Wait!” Jisung called as he began to wade away. When he turned, he smiled sheepishly. “Could I get your number, maybe?” Chan raised a brow, and he realized how forward it sounded. “Not hitting on you, of course! I just— this was nice, and I’d love to meet your boyfriend sometime. And you could meet mine! Actually, I don’t even know where you’re from, that’s stupid. Where would we meet again—“

“Jisung,” Chan giggled, pulling his phone out of the bag and handing it over to him. “Put your number in. We’ll figure it out.”

His cheeks were stained pink as he typed in his number and handed it back. Chan stared at it for a moment, then looked up at him and smiled, dimples indenting his cheeks. “Your number is Korean.” Jisung nodded. “I live in Seoul.”

Jisung grinned. Of all the places in the world, two people from the same city, all the way across the globe, happened to visit the same resort. If Jisung believed in fate, this would be it.

They bid each other farewell and Jisung waved as he headed back up the stairs to the main walkway on top of the cliff.

He turned back to the bar and sipped on his drink for a while until the glass was empty and the sun was dipping into the horizon. Then, with a tiny bit of liquid courage in his veins, he set out to locate his boyfriend.

✈︎

Jisung found Minho on their balcony, staring out over the ocean. The wind swept his bangs away from his face, his sun kissed skin glowing in the warm light from the setting sun.

He slid the door closed behind him, coming to stand beside Minho. Leaning his elbows on the railing, he mirrored his boyfriend’s pose.

They were silent for some time, but Jisung could feel the tension in the small space between them. He shifted from foot to foot with unease.

Eventually the uncomfortable silence got to him and he forced himself to speak.

“The last three years of my life have been about my image,” he started, picking at his nails. “It’s hard for me to get out of that mindset and be myself.”

“Wouldn’t you rather live an honest life and have no regrets? Don’t you think you’d regret hiding who you are?” Minho didn’t look at him as he spoke, instead gazing out over the water. He’d been ready to speak, it seemed, from the way his words were so prepared. “I get wanting to keep your private life private, but I don’t want to be hidden.”

Jisung sighed, letting his head hang. Minho wasn’t wrong, not in the slightest. Jisung had been selfish, scared. He hadn’t thought about Minho’s feelings in the moment, and the realization ate away at him.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Min. It’s just— it’s not easy for me, you know?” Jisung spoke softly, defeat lacing his words.

He saw Minho turn towards him out of the corner of his eye. “I get that, Sung, I really do. But you have to understand how hard it would be for me .”

Right. Minho, the fully out, proudly gay man. The one dating the fully closeted, not at all proud of himself Jisung. It was unfair to him.

“Jisung, look at me.” Minho called, his voice warm.

Jisung complied slowly, turning himself towards the other. In the small space of the balcony, they were only inches away. Minho wasted no time in cupping Jisung’s cheeks in his hands, gazing at him fondly, but Jisung didn’t miss the hint of pity in his deep eyes.

“People will love you for you, I promise. If you really aren’t ready, I’ll respect that, but you have to understand. I’ve never hid myself, I’ve always been out. I’ve faced so much ridicule just for being who I am. But barely any of it comes from your fans. They know me, and they know I’m gay, but only a handful of hate comes from them.” Minho took a moment to pause, stroking his thumb over Jisung’s cheek. “It’s scary and I get that, but I can tell you right now that the people that truly care about you will love you either way.”

It was scary. Nerve-wracking, possibly earth-shattering. But Minho was right, once again. The people that truly cared about him, the one’s whose opinions mattered, would all support him. Their friends didn’t care that Minho was gay; both their parents adored him.

Jisung thought back to his conversation with Chan. He said he’d missed out on so much with his boyfriend because he had been scared. He’d already missed out on so much with Minho because he had been scared. Minho had been the one to prompt their confessions. If it hadn’t been for him, Jisung would be uselessly pining his entire life.

A tear slipped down his cheek and Minho quickly caught it, swiping it away with his thumb. When more fell, he simply tugged Jisung into him and held him close.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jisung sobbed, fisting the material of Minho’s shirt. “I’m so sorry.”

Minho rubbed soothing circles into his back. “It’s alright, jagi. It’s okay.”

Jisung simply clung to Minho as he cried and Minho let him. After some time spent trying to calm himself, Jisung was able to pull away enough to look at his boyfriend.

“I don’t want to hide anymore.” He mumbled, biting down on his bottom lip. Minho promptly pried it from his teeth, clicking his tongue.

“Sung-ah,” Minho began, staring intently at Jisung. “You never have to hide. I’ll be right by your side, I promise.” He leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss to Jisung’s lips.

Jisung whined when he pulled away, chasing him back into another kiss, this time deeper. He tugged Minho by the waist, pulling him impossibly closer. His lips tasted like the ocean, the saltwater lingering in the cracks.

“Did you go in the ocean today?” Jisung mumbled against his lips. Minho hummed in affirmation. “You taste like it.”

That drew a giggle from Minho’s throat and soon they were both just laughing into each other’s mouths, their kisses swallowing the sounds. It was silly, and it was messy, but it was them .

For so long, Jisung had been dwelling on the thought that confessing how he felt would ruin their friendship. What they had was so special, it was nothing like any of his other friendships, and he hadn’t wanted to do anything to jeopardize that. Now, in Minho’s arms, kissing away each other’s worries, Jisung realized he’d been scared for nothing. Minho was his person, and he was Minho’s.

He let himself be guided back inside their suite and into the larger bedroom. Vaguely, Jisung could hear Minho grumbling about him letting the elder have the larger room to himself, but he stopped listening when Minho tugged him onto the bed and into his embrace.

Minho’s arms were home. Minho was Jisung’s home.

Overwhelmed with the sudden wave of emotions, Jisung maneuvered himself to face Minho and pressed kisses along his jaw, down his neck. As he trailed down his boyfriend’s torso, he made sure to whisper sweet nothings against the honey kissed skin, his hands roaming to the areas his lips couldn’t reach.

He wanted Minho to know how much he loved him, and he would make sure there was no room for doubt. No more hiding, no more excuses. Just Jisung and Minho against the world.

But taking on the world could wait. He had more important things to do first.

It wasn’t about their sexual attraction to each other. When he dipped his fingers into the waistband of Minho’s swim trunks, he wasn’t thinking about how hard his boyfriend was beneath the material. All Jisung was thinking about was making sure Minho was loved. That he was cherished. As he took Minho into his mouth, he was simply making up for lost time.

The beautiful sounds that escaped Minho’s lips were only an extra benefit, urging Jisung on. They were melodic, honey thick in Jisung’s ears. It tugged him deeper down into a state of needing to please, wanting Minho to feel his emotions in every touch.

When Minho begged for Jisung, he obliged. Working Minho open was easy for him. He did everything he could to draw out more heavenly sounds from his boyfriend, twisting his fingers and finding the spot that made Minho cry out in need of more. He worked until Minho was squirming, tugging at the sheets and turning to a babbling mess. Only then did he slide home, holding Minho as close as he could as he pushed himself forward until their hips were flush and their chests were sticking together with sweat.

This close, enveloped in Minho’s warmth, Jisung felt at peace. He was where he was supposed to be.

✈︎

Minho didn’t let him sleep in the other bedroom. Somewhere between collapsing onto each other in post-orgasm bliss and passing out, Minho had dragged Jisung’s suitcases from the other room and into his own. He had cleaned both of them up and tucked Jisung into bed.

Now, waking up with their limbs so entangled Jisung was unable to find where his ended and Minho’s began, he thought he could get used to this.

The sun streamed through the curtains, landing on the pillow above Minho’s head. It glowed above him, perfectly positioned like a crown. The halo of an angel, perhaps. A living, breathing angel that had somehow blessed Jisung’s life with their presence.

Jisung supposed that could be true. Gazing at Minho’s sleeping form, it wouldn’t be far from the truth. His lashes were unfairly long, brushing against the apples of his cheeks as he breathed evenly, his chest rising and falling softly under Jisung’s head. His dark hair pooled around his head perfectly, as if each strand had been expertly placed in his sleep.

Raising a hand up, Jisung found himself unable to resist ghosting his fingertips over the golden skin of Minho’s jawline. The elder twitched under the touch, but didn’t stir otherwise.

Until now, Jisung hadn’t stopped to really process the changes in their relationship. Sure, they’d established they were in one. But like a game of whack-a-mole, he couldn’t stop hitting the same spot and hoping— yet dreading— that something would pop out of it this time. That he was really just in one big dream, one that he would be pulled out of sometime soon and be forced back into a reality where Minho wasn’t his, and never would be.

But when Minho’s eyes fluttered open and his brow furrowed at the feather light touch on his jaw, the bad thoughts dissipated. They didn’t linger, poking at his brain until he finally acknowledged them, like a headache he ignored until it got too bad to. No, they disappeared with the smile that tugged at Minho’s lips when his eyes met Jisung’s.

“Good morning.” Minho’s morning voice was something Jisung had heard a million times, but in the privacy of a closed door and a shared bed, the deeper, raspy tone poked at his lower stomach.

Jisung grinned. “Good morning indeed.”

“Have you been awake long?” Minho moved to stretch and Jisung let him, scooting back to his side of the bed. Minho raised his arms above his head and though Jisung had seen his bare chest plenty of times before—not to mention the fact that he had been inside him yesterday— he couldn’t peel his gaze from the smooth skin in front of him.

When he realized he hadn’t answered, Jisung shook his head a little too rapidly. “No, just woke up.”

Minho grinned at him, wide and toothy, enough for his eyes to crescent in the perfect way they did. He tugged Jisung back to him, pulling him into his chest.

“Stay in bed all day?” Minho suggested, his cheek against the top of Jisung’s head.

Jisung huffed out a laugh against Minho’s bare skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “I kind of have a job to do, hyung.”

“Jobs are so boring ,” Minho complained, tightening his grip. “Cuddles are much more fun.”

“You just want my dick in your ass again.”

“That’s just a nice perk of cuddling, not the main draw.”

Jisung chuckled, pushing himself away even when Minho protested. He took in Minho’s ruffled state, smiling to himself at the light bruise formed on his collarbone. A mark of Jisung’s territory.

“We can cuddle tonight,” Jisung promised, throwing the blankets off his body to stand. “But for now, we have to actually do things.”

Minho groaned but followed suit, scooting himself to the edge of the bed and swinging his legs over. They were both completely bare, so Jisung caught a glimpse of his boyfriend’s ass and resisted the urge to grab a handful. Minho, however, fell victim to his own inner demons. He rounded on Jisung as soon as his feet hit the floor and tugged him into his body, wrapping his arms around his hips and grabbing two handfuls of the flesh of Jisung’s backside. He then pressed a chaste kiss to Jisung’s open mouth, jaw dropped in a silent gasp.

“You’re never sleeping in clothes around me again.” Minho commented, releasing him with one more peck. Like nothing had happened, he turned to his suitcase and began digging around for an outfit for the day, ass on full display.

Jisung landed a hard slap on the honey skin as he passed by to grab his own suitcase. “Neither are you.”

Dressing beside someone who was obsessed with touching every inch of your body was more difficult than Minho thought. He had to pause every few moments to allow Minho to get a handful of whatever body part he had his eye on. This was followed by a myriad of kisses pressed into his skin, which was not done without markings. By the time Jisung had dressed himself in a t-shirt and swim shorts, his chest was littered with newly reddened and bruising marks. His inner thighs were no better off.

“Hyung, come on ! I have to actually do things to review them.” Jisung urged as Minho leisurely slipped his shoes on, taking more time than Jisung had patience for.

Minho glanced at him with a raised brow. “You’re lucky I’m letting you out of this room at all, jagiya.”

The red that stained Jisung’s cheeks at his words didn’t go unnoticed by Minho, though he said nothing. He only chuckled, his breathy laugh easing Jisung’s nerves the way it seemed to always do. He was Jisung’s own personal diffuser, but rather than a scent, his laugh was more than enough.

Finally dressed— shoes included— Jisung guided them out of their suite and down to the main building for breakfast. It was a buffet rather than a served meal, which was a negative in Jisung’s books. For a resort that cost close to a thousand dollars a night, having a plated meal was a necessity. The food was enjoyable, but the thought of other people possibly touching the food that would end up on his plate was definitely worth a dock in points.

Throughout breakfast, Jisung sat beside Minho and stole as many kisses as he could, and when Minho was occupied with his food, he kept a hand on his boyfriend’s thigh. This earned Jisung a few odd and somewhat concerned looks from Minho, but he simply shined a smile at him in return.

With his mind filled with thoughts of Minho, Jisung didn’t spare a single moment to think of what the people around them might think. He frankly didn’t care.

As they tidied up their table and took the plates to the drop-off, Minho stopped Jisung with a light grasp on his forearm.

“Everything okay, Sung-ah?” He asked, rubbing a delicate circle into Jisung’s skin with his thumb.

Jisung nodded, lips pulling into his signature smile. “All good, hyung.”

When Minho nodded, face still unconvinced, Jisung leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. As he pulled away, he could see the tips of Minho’s ears glowing where they peeked out of his hair.

That was something Jisung loved about Minho. He could put on the most stone cold, expressionless facade and his ears would give away everything. Jisung prided himself on learning that early on in their friendship and using it to his advantage.

“Come on, hyung. We have a lot to do and not enough time.” Jisung grasped Minho’s hand in his and tugged him out of the main building. They made their way down the path opposite their suite to a larger building nestled behind a grove of palm trees. The building had a front wall made entirely of glass and the walkway up to it transformed into stepping stones rather than a solid concrete path. A man-made waterfall trickled off to the side, the bubbling reaching their ears as they approached the door.

“Where are we going?” Minho questioned, but made no move to stop.

Jisung glanced back with a grin. “The spa!”

Inside, it was as if they’d stepped through a portal. The sounds of the ocean lulled in the background and soothing ambient music streamed through speakers in the lobby. Jisung tugged Minho to the counter where a young woman sat, her focus on the computer in front of her.

When they approached, she glanced up and smiled politely. “Welcome in! Do you have an appointment?”

Jisung nodded, hand still clutching Minho’s. “It should be under Jisung.”

Her eyes widened slightly before she schooled her features, smiling wider as she turned her attention back to her computer. She typed for only a moment before she nodded.

“Here it is. I have you down for the couple’s facial and spa soak, is that correct?”

Jisung heard Minho choke to his side and he had to fight back a laugh. He squeezed Minho’s hand and confirmed her question with a smile.

In their many travels, Minho had never accompanied Jisung to any of the spas at resorts. It was always something that he’d enjoyed on his own. A bit of a guilty pleasure, if you will. He’d never even thought to ask Minho to join, especially when he was getting massages. The thought of getting undressed in front of his best friend— and seeing his best friend do the same— was something he’d never wanted to entertain. Until now.

Leaning into Minho’s side while the receptionist typed away on her keyboard, he whispered, “it’s not the facial you’re thinking of, get your mind out of the gutter.”

Minho snorted, knocking his shoulder against Jisung’s. “I’m guessing a soak isn’t the Mormon version either then?”

Jisung had to fight back every impulse that told him to smack Minho upside the head.

“No, no it is not.”

“Alright, I’ve got you all set! I’ll take you two to the dressing rooms.” The receptionist stood and rounded the counter, pulling them from their conversation. Jisung could feel his cheeks burning as they made eye contact before following her.

She led them down a hall just as fancy as the rest of the building. It was sleek and made Jisung afraid to touch a single thing. The walls were a warm tan, lined with sconces that lit the hall in a low orange glow. Doors lined the walls, all made of a dark wooden frame with a frosted glass middle. She stopped outside one of the first few, opening it and gesturing inside.

“On the left there are lockers for your belongings. Feel free to use any of them, you’re currently our only guests. On the right wall there are robes for you both as well as slippers. When you’re ready, please knock on the door and I’ll guide you to the masseuse.”

Jisung bowed his head in thanks, stepping inside with Minho trailing behind him.

“Wait,” Minho paused, turning to her. “Are we supposed to keep anything on?”

She smiled courteously at him. “No, sir. Please place all of your belongings in the lockers. Remove any jewelry as well.”

Jisung could see the tips of Minho’s ears lighting up crimson, making him stifle a laugh. Maybe he should have explained how spas worked before bringing him in.

The receptionist shut the door behind Minho once he was fully inside, leaving them in the silence of the room— save for the soft ambient music that trickled in from the hall. Minho glanced at Jisung, raising a brow.

“When did you book this?” He asked, stepping across the room towards the lockers.

Jisung followed, tugging this phone and other belongings out of his pockets. “Yesterday, before I came back to the room.”

“Before we talked?” Jisung nodded. Minho stepped into his space, tugging him by the waist until their chests were flush. “So you were that confident I’d want to do a couple’s facial?”

Biting his lip, Jisung felt the heat rising on his cheeks. Minho brought his hand up and used his thumb to tug his lip from his teeth.

“Maybe.” Jisung admitted, averting his gaze. With his chest pressed against Minho’s, he felt the vibrations of Minho’s laugh reverberating against his body.

A soft pressure appeared on his temple before Minho spoke again, his voice right in Jisung’s ear.

“I appreciate it, jagi.”

When Jisung looked back at him, Minho captured his lips in a brief kiss before releasing his body, stepping away to undress.

Jisung’s ass wasn’t safe this time either, as the moment he was undressed a smack landed right on the bare flesh. When he whirled around to see Minho just as naked as him, smiling innocently, he grumbled and stalked over to the robes to wrap one around himself. Keeping his body turned away from Minho, he fought the smile threatening to appear on his lips as he tied the belt around his waist. As soon as his hands tied the knot, arms wrapped around his waist from behind and a kiss was pressed into the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“I can’t help it,” Minho mumbled against his skin, the warmth leaving goosebumps. “It’s your fault for having an ass like that.”

Chuckling, Jisung leaned into the touch. “So that’s what I signed up for, hmm? Constantly ass smacks?”

“I think the term is called spanking, Sung-ah.”

Turning in Minho’s embrace, Jisung pressed a delicate kiss to the corner of his boyfriend’s mouth. “You into that?”

“Maybe.”

Despite the topic of conversation, Jisung felt at ease. Like he belonged. As if this was the destination he’d always been heading towards. Never in his life had he imagined Minho would be holding him like this, not to mention joking about spanking him. His life had turned completely on its axis in the span of only a few days and he couldn’t imagine not having Minho like this. Being just friends felt so wrong, like there was a missing piece of him that he was yearning to find, a crack that had formed as he grew and only Minho could patch it up. If the universe had meant for him to be with anyone, it was Minho. He was sure of it.

“Come on, put your robe on.” Jisung urged, kissing Minho softly once more before stepping back to slide a pair of slippers on. Minho acquiesced, snagging a robe from the wall and shrugging it on lazily before tying the belt around him.

With another stolen kiss, Jisung returned to the door and knocked softly on it. A moment later it opened and the receptionist smiled kindly at him, gesturing for them to follow. Down the hall further, she stopped outside a set of double doors made of the same frosted glass. She motioned for them to enter as she opened the door.

Inside the room was just as extravagant as the rest of the spa. This room held multiple massage tables and chairs. She ushered them in quietly and both men stood awkwardly in the center.

“The estheticians will be in momentarily. Please make yourselves comfortable in the massage chairs for the time being.” She gestured to the large chairs. With that, she turned on her heel and shut the door behind her.

Jisung trailed over to one of the chairs, plopping down in it with a sigh. Minho followed slowly behind.

“Think we have time to—“

“Please do not finish that sentence by suggesting something that will make me lose this review deal.”

Minho huffed, crossing his arms. “No fun.”

Even before Jisung was aware of Minho’s feelings, they had always joked around sexually. It was always just a part of both of their senses of humor and neither had realized the other really meant it— until now. It made it easy to return Minho’s advances, whether jokingly or seriously. There had been plenty of times Jisung had been ready to accept Minho’s teasing and make a move, but he’d always been scared. Now, he could play into anything Minho did or said without worry. It was comforting, in a way.

Only moments passed before the door opened once again and two staff members entered, both middle aged women with their hair pulled back into neat ponytails.

“Good afternoon! Mr. Han and Mr. Lee, correct?” One of the women asked, a polite smile on her face. Jisung nodded and stood, Minho following.

The women then instructed them both to lay down on their backs on the massage tables which they did easily. One of the women explained the process and what they would be using. It took only a few minutes before Jisung was closing his eyes and a cold substance was being rubbed into the skin of his cheeks. He flinched at the feeling, but relaxed into it after a moment. The contrast of the warm air and the cold cream was actually soothing, giving Jisung a cooling sensation that trailed down his body all the way to his toes.

He could tell Minho found the sensation equally strange when he heard a sharp draw of breath to his right. Jisung couldn’t hold back the giggle that escaped his lips, but he stopped himself before it evolved into a full fit of laughter.

The room fell into a peaceful silence the longer the estheticians worked. There was the soft lull of music in the background, turned on sometime during their prep. Jisung felt himself drifting into a state of serenity, one he always did when receiving spa services.

Minho, on the other hand, was not calm at all. Each touch his esthetician made near his ears caused him to giggle or hiss, tugging Jisung from the brink of sleep. Jisung knew he was extremely sensitive, so it wasn’t surprising.

“Jagi,” Jisung murmured, his eyes still closed, trying to keep his lips from moving too much. “You have to stay still.”

“It’s alright,” The esthetician tried to console him. “Plenty of people have difficulty staying still during these.”

“I can’t help it,” Minho argued. “It tickles .”

Jisung snorted, schooling his features to not wrinkle any of the hardening cream on his skin.

“We’re almost done.” Minho’s esthetician promised. Jisung heard Minho huff in response.

They continued to massage oils and creams into Jisung’s neck and face, the scents so calming he wanted nothing more than to douse himself in them. Eventually, he was released and allowed to lay there while they prepared the spa bath for soaking.

“So,” Minho spoke up, his voice calm and distant. Jisung supposed he’d eventually relaxed and nearly fell asleep like he did. “Is the bath like a… hot tub?”

Jisung hummed. “Every one I’ve been in has been. Sort of like a jacuzzi? With oils and stuff.”

His eyes were still closed, so he startled when he felt a hand thread through his hair. He peeled one open to see Minho sitting up on his massage table, leaning over the gap between their tables to reach for Jisung’s hair, a fond smile on his lips.

“What?” Jisung asked, opening both eyes.

Minho just shook his head. “You looked peaceful. It’s cute.”

Minho looked serene to Jisung. His hair was tucked back behind his ears, slightly damp around his hairline where oils had seeped in. His robe was loosely wrapped around his shoulders, exposing his collarbones and the honey glow of his skin. His face was shining, and Jisung was sure his was as well, but Minho looked otherworldly to him.

“Says you,” was all Jisung could think to retort. Minho’s lips pulled back into a full smile, showing off his bunny teeth in the low ambient lighting of the room.

On the other side of the room, a door opened and one of the estheticians entered again. She let them know the bath was ready, so they both hopped off their respective tables and crossed the room to follow her.

This room was lit just as little as the last, but this time with more candles than anything else. There was a large jacuzzi-like bath installed in the floor, bubbling and swirling with the jets and mixing the oils and salts into the water. It was plenty big for two people— Jisung thought it could fit every friend he had and then some.

“Stay as long as you like. That door will lead back to the hall,” the esthetician explained, not stepping any further into the room. “If you need help finding the dressing rooms again, please let one of us know. I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay.”

Jisung thanked her gratefully, ready to de-robe and catapult himself into the water. She left a moment later, and he wasted no time untying the belt and shrugging the robe from his shoulders.

“Oh, I get a show?”

He’d truly forgotten Minho was beside him for a fraction of a second, causing him to tense slightly. When he turned, Minho was smirking at him, robe still intact.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” Jisung decided to say, folding his robe and setting it on a bench pushed against the wall to hide the cherry stain rising on his cheeks. Minho followed suit, removing his robe and folding it before Jisung even turned back to him.

Grabbing his waist, Minho pulled Jisung into him. The younger squeaked lightly, eyes widening when their bare bodies pressed together in every possible location.

“So, do we have time now ?”

“I am not fucking in a spa hot tub.”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Who said we had to go all the way? Doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun.”

Jisung fought the smile on his lips. Pushing himself away slightly, he pecked Minho’s lips before pulling himself fully from Minho’s arms to step over to the jacuzzi. “You’re just a voyeur, admit it.”

Minho followed him closely behind, enough that Jisung could feel his body heat. “Maybe I am.”

Then he landed a smack on the swell of Jisung’s ass, causing him to jolt forward ever so slightly. Minho caught him before he could stumble, tugging him back by the waist. When Jisung stepped back into the embrace, he felt the unmistakable press of Minho’s hardening cock against his ass.

“Hyung.” Jisung hissed, “I’m not about to get kicked out of here because you can’t keep your dick down.”

“I’m catching up on lost time,” Minho said innocently, dusting kisses across the side of Jisung’s neck. Jisung fought the urge to lean back into the touch, Minho’s warmth enticing him. Instead, he spun in Minho’s arms and kissed the tip of his nose before pulling away. He slid his hand down to grasp Minho’s and tug him along as he made his way into the warm water.

The jacuzzi was the perfect temperature to not burn them, but hot enough to instantly begin loosening Jisung’s muscles. The aroma of the oils and salts was enough to make him want to sink down into the water and never leave.

Minho followed him without hesitation, lowering his body into the bubbling water and settling right beside him. A hand slid onto Jisung’s thigh and he didn’t bother to shrug it off, welcoming the touch despite his mind telling him not to entertain Minho’s advances while in semi-public.

Jisung leaned his head back against the edge of the tub, closing his eyes and letting his body relax. Lips found his neck momentarily before a breath ghosted against his ear.

“Jagi,” Minho mumbled, nipping at the shell of Jisung’s ear with his front teeth. Jisung only hummed. “Can I?”

Minho’s hand was inching up on his thigh, dangerously close to Jisung’s crotch. He couldn’t deny the thought of messing around aroused him, nor could he fight the increasing blood flow heading south. He nodded after a moment, giving Minho the go ahead.

If anyone had told Jisung even a week ago that he’d be in a spa at a resort in Malibu with Minho’s hand stroking his cock, he would have laughed and probably cried himself to sleep. The thought of it was purely absurd. To be living it, feeling Minho’s hand working him to full hardness while his lips littered kisses and licks across the column of his neck was insanity. Jisung was sure that at any moment, he’d wake up from this mess of a wet dream sobbing into his pillow.

Instead, he sobbed as Minho drew him to climax with his mouth. He guided Jisung to pull his body out of the water to sit on the edge of the tub and brought him to his peak with a different kind of heat. When Jisung shuddered under him, he sank deeper, swallowing around him and not popping off until Jisung’s cock stopped twitching in his mouth.

“You’re actually insane.” Jisung panted, sinking back down into the water.

Minho laughed, draping himself against Jisung’s side. “But you love me.”

“That I do.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of Minho’s head, breathing in the mixture of oils and salt water in his hair.

Minho craned his neck up to gaze at Jisung, raising a hand to caress his cheek. “And I love you, Sung-ah.”

They left the spa feeling relaxed and rejuvenated— in more ways than one. When Jisung had finished, he helped Minho to his own climax, citing it wasn’t fair for only one of them to enjoy the bath.

Hand in hand, they walked down the path towards their suite. At the halfway point past the main building, Jisung heard the music of the swim up bars below and altered course, tugging Minho along with him down the stairs to the pools.

“We just went to the spa, now you want to go swimming?” Minho sighed, spotting the pools.

Jisung continued to guide him down and over to an empty chair where they could discard their things.

“I have to enjoy everything here, hyung.” Jisung explained, tugging off his shirt and tossing it on the chair. Minho followed suit, ridding himself of his thin top and standing with his arms crossed facing the pool. It was as if he were trying to evaporate the water with his glare. “I know you don’t like swimming. We’ll stay in the shallows.”

“I literally swam in the ocean yesterday, I’m a big boy.” Minho complained with a huff.

“And how far did you go in? Waist deep?” Jisung retorted, gripping Minho’s hand and pulling him over to the pool he’d swam in the day prior.

The weather was just as perfect as the day before, the sun shining down on them with a light breeze coming off the ocean and carrying the scent of salt water with it. There were quite a few people at the pools, mingling and relaxing with their partners or families. And for once, Jisung didn’t care about any eyes that could be lingering on him.

He led Minho to the edge of the pool where it curved into a small alcove fitted with a built-in bench. They sat with their thighs pressed together and leaned back, allowing the water to flow around them and the sun to warm their skin.

While Jisung wasn’t bothered by the possibility of eyes being on him, he still knew what being watched felt like. He tried to ignore the feeling for as long as possible, but when it became too much his eyes shot open and he scanned the pool deck.

On the other side of the pool, seated on a lounger under a large umbrella, was Chan. This time he wasn’t alone, his arms wrapped around someone seated in front of him. The man was lean yet built with toned arms and an impressive set of abs that contracted when he leaned into Chan’s chest. His hair was a coppery orange, wavy and spilling around his ears. When Jisung’s eyes locked with Chan’s, the man’s arms tightened around the ginger and a smile grew on his face. A knowing smile grew on Jisung’s lips and he wrapped an arm around Minho, tugging him into his side. When Chan saw this, his smile widened to show his dimples even from afar and he nodded. Jisung returned the gesture.

“Who’s that?” Minho observed, obviously seeing the exchange.

Jisung squeezed Minho’s arm. “Just a new friend.”

Minho didn’t question it, simply humming and leaning into Jisung’s side. They sat like that for a while, letting the water lap over their chests. The sun was past its peak, beginning to dip lower in the sky yet still strong.

Eventually they decided their skin had both enough sun and chlorine for one day and they exited the pool, Jisung sending one more bright smile Chan’s and Jeongin’s direction before they headed back up the stairs towards their suite.

If they opted to skip dinner on their final night in favor of showering together— and wasting much more water than necessary— that was no one’s business but their own.

✈︎

Their next morning went by quickly, packing their bags and driving the rental car to the airport. They found the drop off location easy enough, and Jisung had to resist the urge to argue with the staff there about their repair bill. Minho held him back with a placating smile and an arm around his waist.

Through security and the border checkpoint, Jisung couldn’t keep his hands off his boyfriend. He opted to wrap his arms around him from behind when possible, or hung off his arm whenever he couldn’t.

“What’s gotten into you?” Minho whispered into his ear as he hugged him while waiting for their turn in security.

Jisung nuzzled further into Minho’s neck, pressing a delicate kiss to the skin there. It had gotten darker from their time in the sun, the honey glow even more vibrant now.

“Nothing,” Jisung mumbled against Minho’s skin. “Just love you.”

Minho chuckled, vibrating Jisung’s chest where he was pressed to him. “I love you too, jagiya,” he tapped Jisung’s back then, getting him to turn back forward. “It’s almost our turn, pay attention.”

Jisung was back on him as soon as they passed through security and gathered their belongings. Border check was no different— he held Minho’s hand and guided it to his lips every few seconds to press a kiss to the back of it.

When they were through border check and on the way to their gate, Minho stopped him and pulled him aside.

“Okay, really,” he began, staring at Jisung with a hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on? You’re never like this.”

Jisung sighed, staring down at their still intertwined fingers. “I just— I wanted to show you I don’t care what people think. I’m happy with you, and I want people to know that.”

It was silent for a second, and Jisung was too scared to look up at Minho. Then, the hand on his shoulder squeezed and Minho chuckled, light and airy the way it always was. Jisung looked up at him, brows furrowed. Minho smiled at him, bunny teeth on display and his eyes crescented.

“Jagi, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I told you I was willing to wait, I’m not going to push you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Minho brought his hand up and ghosted his thumb over Jisung’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re happy, but you don’t need to prove anything to me.”

Jisung felt his cheek redden and he glanced back down, biting his lip. “I know, I just… I don’t want you to feel like I’m hiding you.”

Ever since his conversation with Chan, the thought had been eating away at him. They both had already missed out on so much time they could have been together, and he didn’t want to deprive Minho of any opportunity to know how much Jisung truly loved him. He felt it was important to show him he was really it for him, that this was real. He didn’t want Minho to feel like he was less important than anything else in Jisung’s life, and physical affection was the way he knew how to do that.

“Sung-ah, I promise you I don’t feel that way. You’ve already come a long way since you told me. I meant it when I said I’ll wait if you’re not comfortable. Don’t force yourself out if you don’t want to.” Minho consoled, pulling him closer.

Jisung shook his head, squeezing Minho’s hand. “I’m ready, really.”

Minho stared at him for a moment, his eyes flitting back and forth. His gaze was intense as always and Jisung felt like he was being looked at under a microscope, examined for any signs of a lie. When Minho deemed him truthful, he smiled and returned the squeeze. No more conversation was needed as he tugged Jisung down the crowded terminal to their gate.

The rest of their wait was spent glued together at the hip, never leaving the other. Plenty of kisses and touches– publicly appropriate ones– were exchanged until they were finally able to board their plane.

After such an eventful week, Jisung was glad to be going home. It was exhilarating to travel so often and see so much of the world, but having so much happen exhausted him. All he wanted was to go home and relax in the comfort of his own home. Maybe with another person next to him, if Minho wanted to spend more time with him. He would understand if Minho preferred to go home to his cats and spend some time alone after being in such close proximity to Jisung for so long. Though he hoped that wouldn’t be the case. Jisung longed to make up for as much time as possible as soon as they returned home.

On the plane, in the privacy of first class, Jisung held Minho’s hand for the entirety of take off. If he clenched Minho’s fingers tight enough to cut off circulation when they took off, no one but he and Minho needed to know that.

✈︎

As soon as they returned to Seoul, Jisung made a decision. He wasted no time in depositing his luggage in his room to deal with later, instead opting to grab his camera and set it up in front of the couch in his living room as the sun set behind him.

It was a little reckless, not giving himself a script or any time to think over his decision before diving into it. But he’d always had a bit of a reckless side, and he was embracing that now.

The light on Jisung’s video camera lit up red, indicating it was recording.

“Uh, hey guys. I know a lot of you are probably wondering what this video is about based on the title. I’ll get to that in a moment, but first I want to preface what I’m about to say. I appreciate every single one of you that follows me, reads my blogs, watches my videos, everyone. You all mean the absolute world to me and I don’t deserve to be as fortunate as I am. That being said, I want you all to please watch this and understand where I’m coming from. Please don’t judge until you’ve seen this all and listened to my explanation. I understand if you choose to stop supporting me after this.”

Jisung took a deep breath, looking behind the camera to where Minho was sitting. The older gave him a large grin and a thumbs up, encouraging him to continue.

“When I started posting on social media, I never expected anyone to follow me or even like me. It blew my mind– and still does– that over three million people like my content and read my blogs. That’s an absolutely insane number.” Trying to steady his rapidly beating heart, he clenched his fists in his lap. “I’m sorry to say I haven’t been completely honest with all of you. I never meant to keep anything secret, it just happened, but that’s no excuse. Being thrust into a position where I was suddenly being spectated all the time made me close myself off, and I let it go on for too long. Someone recently told me it’s better to live honestly without regrets, so that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Pausing to steady himself, Jisung took another deep breath before he continued. “I’ve already sort of hinted at this on my social media, but I figured it was time to actually confirm it.”

He motioned for Minho to come sit beside him on the couch, to which the older did silently.

“You all know my manager and friend, Minho. Well, I thought it was time to let you all know he isn’t just my friend. Minho is my boyfriend.”