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Un-Break Me

Summary:

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They break up, at the worst possible time... so what happens when they get back together?
A story of two wounded men, who hold a lot of trauma and grief from their lives, and sometimes don’t deal with it well. They’re learning, they’re growing, and maybe someday they’ll believe that they’re enough.

A sweet, (sad, at times), little thing as an excuse to process some grief and write a whole lot of smut.
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Notes:

Happy (official) One Piece Day!!! 27 years of Luffy!!

I had to get these little hamsters out of my brain. Enjoy!

(this work is complete - I'll try to update as weekly as possible)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: A Shattering Split

Chapter Text

Sanji

 

Their couples’ therapist, Lynn, told them: “Something has to change, you two, this isn’t sustainable for either of you.” And they had worked on boundaries…on communication…both as a couple and individually. 

 

What the fuck was it all for?

 

Maybe it was too late…

 

Sanji hated this feeling…being trapped or obligated to show up for someone who wasn’t able to show up for him…again and again and again. He felt so alone and trapped…he wasn’t supposed to feel that way with the person he loved. He hated feeling this demoralized, but even worse for staying in it for so long. The longstanding issues in their relationship felt like they were suffocating him…nothing was changing. So he had to change. Right?

 

Tonight was the night. He had packed his bags, had moved most of his stuff over to Usopp’s place in preparation, had cleaned their Zoro’s townhome so that not a speck of him remained. The last one, he’d done more for Zoro than himself. He figured Zoro wouldn’t want to have to look at Sanji’s old toothbrush every morning and night before he remembered to throw it away two months from now. So Sanji had done it for him, one last service. 

 

Usopp and Robin were the only two he had told, had opened up and talked about things with. He really wished he could have gotten Luffy’s perspective, the scrappy kid always had a sixth sense for these things. But Luffy had been away for the past six months, and wouldn’t be returning until the end of the month, working insane hours with some doctoral fellowship thing with no cell service. Sanji needed to do something before he snapped; he couldn’t wait…at least, it didn’t feel like he could. 

 

Hadn’t he waited long enough?

 

He thumbed through a hiking magazine aimlessly, as he looked at the clock, before irritatedly tossing the magazine into the recycling bin without getting up. He put his head in his hands and sighed, exasperated. 

 

Of course, he’s late today.

 

Sanji had thought about leaving a letter, but wanted to do this right . They had been together for five years, and friends for over a decade, the man deserved a face-to-face conversation. 

 

His heart pounded when he heard the door unlock. 

 

Fuck

__

 

Zoro

 

“Zoro, did you hear what I said?” Her tone was more monotone. Was she annoyed with him? She seemed like she was bothered that she’d had to stay for an evening meeting…maybe she had pulled the short straw.

 

“Huh? Uh…yeah, I think so.” He replied, blinking blearily at the woman sitting across from him. 

 

“What do you need right now?” She repeated, adjusting her wooly cardigan. 

 

To get the fuck out of here.

 

“Uh…I’m not sure.” He said staring blankly at the pamphlet of bereavement services he held in his hand. Why were the people on the cover laughing and smiling? Didn’t seem right for a pamphlet about the pros and cons of burying or cremating your loved one.

 

“That’s totally okay. If you do need anything in the next few weeks, feel free to reach out anytime. Especially with the logistics for the services, it can be overwhelming.” The woman - was her name Trish? - said, though he was met with no genuine warmth from her.

 

He wanted to burst out laughing. Fucking yeah, it'll be overwhelming.  

 

“The rest of Mr. Shimotsuki’s family… your family, should be here by the end of the month, so that will give us all time to prepare.” The woman said it like Zoro wasn’t the only States-side relative…wasn’t the only person here to do all the logistical work…she had said “ we ” but really meant “ you ”. He knew, from planning Mihawk’s funeral with Perona, that folks, specifically folks like her, like this , tended to just want you to get the fuck out and be sad away from them. The woman gave him her card, he took it and stuffed it in his pocket. 

 

“You’re sure your family wants him buried here?” She asked, seeming to check off a box on her form, her nails clicking on the clipboard.

 

“Maybe not, but he wanted to be buried here, with his daughter.” Zoro said.

 

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Zoro.” She said, something seemed to click for her because it was the first genuine thing she’d said in this whole goddamn meeting. 

 

Yeah, me too. 

 

“Uh..yeah, thank you.” He replied, getting up. 

 

He couldn’t feel his hands and walking felt difficult, as he exited the office and stumbled to the parking lot. He briefly thought he probably shouldn’t be driving, but how else would he get home? 

 

Wait, he was home. How did that happen?

 

He could feel it when he walked up to the door of their townhouse. Something was different, but everything looked the same. 

 

When he opened the door, he was met with one of Sanji’s suitcases and his heart dropped.

 

Oh.

 

Oh, no.

 

“Hey, you’re home.” Sanji peaked out from the kitchen, before walking half way down the hall. 

 

“Yeah, sorry I’m late.” Zoro said slowly, eyes wide. He gestured to the suitcase. “What’s this?” 

 

“We should talk, Zoro.” 

 

Fuck.




“Zoro? Did you hear what I said?”

 

“Hm?” His eyes had been glued to one of the books on the coffee table, one about wine that someone had bought for them…them. A “ them ” which was no more. That’s what Sanji was saying… right? They were… over? 

 

Zoro trepidatiously met Sanji's gaze, his movements felt latent, almost stunned.

 

Sanji looked at him expectantly. 

 

“Sorry. Yeah, I…uh…heard you.” Zoro said, nodding incrementally. He was starting to feel the edges of the numbing wear down and he needed to get away from here. 

 

Now

 

“Well, thank you for telling me in person.” Zoro said, trying to hold together the fabric of himself so he didn’t end up a sobbing heap on the floor. “I’m sorry I wasted your time today and made you wait so late.” He placed his hand on his mouth, trying so hard to keep everything at bay, before wiping it down. 

 

“You can, uh, keep the ring, of course, it’s yours.” Zoro gestured to the engagement ring Sanji had taken off, the one he had given Sanji last year, as they had been planning their wedding. 

 

Oh…they wouldn’t be planning that anymore…there wouldn’t be a wedding.

 

He wondered if this devastating void in his chest was what it felt like to have a heart shattering. 

 

Huh, isn’t that something. 

 

“Zoro?”

 

Sanji said something that he didn’t hear. 

 

“Hm?”

 

“I said ‘are you okay, Zoro’?” Sanji’s blue eyes were filled with concern and Zoro hated it, needed to get away from it, from being seen. He wouldn’t be able to maintain his composure for much longer.

 

“I mean, I’ll be okay.” He stood slowly and made his way over to the door of their   his bedroom, right off of the living room. Sanji looked almost shocked. Had he expected Zoro to yell or fight or sob or throw something? “Lock the door on your way out, if you wouldn’t mind.” His body turned to Sanji, but not meeting his eyes. “You can keep the key or slide it under the door. Oh, take the Kitchen Aid…the mixer…you’ll get more use out of it than me.” He said, before closing the door to their shared…no longer shared…bedroom. 

 

Zoro walked over to the edge of his side of the bed. He was feeling too much and nothing at the same time. He felt himself wrap his arms around his torso, hugging himself until he heard the front door close. He brought his pillow up to his face and wailed, screamed, sobbed into it until there was nothing left in him. 

__

 

Sanji

 

What the fuck was that? Who the fuck was that?

 

The thoughts repeatedly popped up as Sanji shakily parked the car and made his way to Usopp’s door. 

 

He’d expected Zoro to yell, argue, snap, or sneer at him. He expected him to be angry or bitter. Not that…the barely-there stranger to him. Had Zoro listened to him? Heard him? Probably not . Which was typical, to be fair. Zoro seemed to have a hard time hearing him lately, the source of many of their recent arguments.

 

But this…something felt wrong.

 

He reached for the apartment key and saw that he had left their  Zoro’s house key on his keychain of a blue seashell …a keychain Zoro had gifted him for their first anniversary. It was supposed to be representative of the mythological All Blue, stories that Sanji loved and Zoro had remembered. 

 

He had been so worried about all the ways he didn’t want to leave any traces of himself behind, that he hadn’t thought of the traces of Zoro that had integrated in all facets of his life. 

 

He didn’t know when he’d started crying, just that it felt like it would never end.

__

Sanji 

Three weeks later.

 

“Where’s Zoro?”

 

Sanji bristled at the mention of Zoro’s name and adjusted his seat awkwardly on the couch. 

 

“You want to try that again so we can all say: ‘Welcome home, Luffy!’??” Nami huffed, rolling her eyes, gesturing to their group of friends gathered in the small cafe her girlfriend, Vivi, owned. Balloons, streamers, and a colorful handmade banner that said “ WELCOME HOME!” decorated the cozy cafe, while appetizers and desserts that Vivi and Sanji had made filled the air with incredible aromas of spices.

 

Sanji tapped his fingers nervously around his colorful coffee mug. He knew he’d have to just get over his nerves, he told himself, Zoro would probably be here any minute. 

 

Sure, they hadn’t spoken since that night three weeks ago, and, sure, Zoro had been silent in the group chats, but that wasn’t unlike him. It had only given Sanji a little anxiety…okay, a lot. But he knew Zoro would never leave Luffy hanging or skip an important event, so Sanji had steeled himself to see his ex-fiance. Actually, part of him couldn't wait to see Zoro. But now…

 

Luffy’s eyes darkened and he zeroed in on Sanji, who gulped nervously. That look was usually reserved for when Luffy was his most upset or angry. 

 

“Where is he? Why isn’t he with you?” Luffy’s tone was accusing. Law, who had been in the shadows behind Luffy, came up and gently squeezed his shoulder as a gesture of comfort. Sanji looked to the older man’s face to garner some kind of information, an indication of what this was all about; however, Law’s face was unreadable, per usual, though there seemed to be a sorrowful tinge to it. 

 

“Luffy, what’s all this about?” Robin asked, drawing forward to Luffy with concern.

 

“Law and I stopped by the gym on the way here so I could pick up my new badge.” Luffy answered, but his eyes never left Sanji. Sanji started to feel his heart beat uneasily in his chest. “Kidd said everyone missed Zoro and asked me if he was doing ok. Then he told me that everyone sends their condolences.”

 

Sanji felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

 

Fuck. 

 

What?

 

“Why, what happened?” Brook asked, his voice laced with trepidation. He eyed Sanji nervously, they all did.

 

“Kidd said…Koushirou died.” Luffy replied angrily, and the air was sucked out of the room. Nami gasped. 

 

“What? When?” Sanji heard himself ask. 

 

“Three weeks ago, Sanji.” Luffy narrowed his eyes. “Why is this a surprise to you?” 

 

Shit. 

 

He’s angry. 

 

Sanji’s heart dropped. Wait…three weeks ago

 

“When?” He heard himself ask again. 

 

“On the 5th.” Luffy replied gruffly.

 

“N - no…” Sanji’s eyes widened in horror, his voice shaking.  “Couldn’t have been…”

 

“Where is Zoro?” Luffy asked again, his voice now raised and addressing the room of his very stunned friends. He was enraged and no one knew how to answer him. 

 

Sanji grabbed his coat and bolted out the door to his car. He didn’t stop, couldn’t stop. 

 

No…no…couldn’t be. 

 

Not the same day. 

 

Zoro would have said something, would have told him. He would have… Sanji tried to remember the details, anything that Zoro could have possibly said or done. All Sanji remembered was Zoro being quiet, almost numb… 

 

Oh my fucking god

 

How could he forget what Zoro was like when Mihawk died…

 

That had been forever ago, their freshman year of college, about ten years ago give or take a few months. Still…how could he forget how Zoro had shut down, barely passed his classes, pushed everyone out except Luffy. It had been horrible…and how…

 

How could he have missed the familiar way Zoro had ended their last conversation, pushing him away. 

 

So fucking stupid. How could I be so fucking stupid?!

 

He weaved in and out of traffic, rather dangerously, until he reached the driveway of theirZoro’s townhome. Sanji was practically hyperventilating.  He tried the breathing skills that the therapist had recommended, when he’d admitted that he suffered from panic attacks. 

 

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 

 

4 - 3 - 2 - 1 

 

It usually worked but fuck, it wasn’t fucking working now

 

How could I leave him? How?!!

 

His hand shook as he unlocked the door, feeling grateful that he had kept the key. He had to collect himself. Get it the fuck together

 

He stepped into darkness and his concern grew exponentially. His nostrils detected a lingering, but not potent, musty smell. Fuck . His shoes crunched on broken glass. No . His heart thrummed so loud in his chest, his knees felt weak. 

 

“Zoro?” He called out to a seemingly empty, noiseless apartment. 

 

Fuck