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Minori has to shoot Donald Trump

Summary:

Airi and Minori have to come up with a plan to shoot Trump, and if they succeed, they get to do a show at a big-ass venue or something.

I don't know.

I think I was on drugs when I wrote this

(Sorry for misspelings, English isn't my first language, nor do I wish it was)

Work Text:

“Bye bye!” Minori waved at Haruka and Shizuku as they were leaving the school rooftop.

It had been a tiring week. In just a couple of days, they would be presenting together as More More Jump! at no other than the biggest of Shibuya venues. It was one of the greatest accomplishments they had achieved. It wasn’t an easy thing to get: lots of training, singing and dancing and a bunch of interviews and TV appearances were the price they paid for a space in the busy concert schedule the venue had.

But all those things were only most of it, not all of it.

“So, Minori…” Airi turned to look at her. She was carrying a black bag. It was heavy, Minori could tell it was by the way she struggled to hold it with both of her hands. “We have to finish the job.”

“I’m not sure I can do it.” Minori doubted as she grabbed the bag.

“I know it’s hard, but we need to do it.” Airi sighed, looking at the setting sun and observing the city that surrounded them. It was a view they both loved to enjoy after practicing, feeling as if the universe rewarded their hard work, presenting them with a beautiful sky. Today, it was difficult trying to relax, knowing the duty they had to carry to an end. “Remember, we have a deal. If it makes you feel any better, it’s a bright future for our group that you’ll gain, in exchange of simply getting rid of an American politician.”

In fact, it was an agreement they had come to with the owners of the venue. If they managed to shoot Donald Trump, they got to use it for their concert, probably one if the greatest in their career.

“Right… I promise I’ll do my best.” Minori swallowed hard. She wished she could tell the rest of her group about this, but part of the job was to keep it a secret. It was something she never imagined she would need to do in her path to becoming a succesful idol, but sometimes life takes crazy turns. From romance to terrorism, this world is impredictable.

“I know you can.” Airi held Minori’s hand gently, trying to give her the reassurance she knew she would need. “Now, take the AK-47, Minori.”

The next morning had come. It was time to put the plan on the move. Each one of the two girls had their own job: Airi had to take the bullets to America, and Minori had to recieve them and ultimately use them on Donald Trump.

Minori packed her weapon inside her ASRUN backpack, along with some Haruka keychains, to bring her good luck.

The nearest airport wasn’t really near her house, it took her an hour to get there walking, but she convinced herself the effort would pay off.

Now, passing the airport security with a fucking AK-47 shoved in a backpack wasn’t an easy task, especially not for someone like Minori, but she had thought this through. The night before, Samo-chan and her had been brainstorming and the greatest idea of all time had ocurred to them both: Haruka plushie bazooka.

All she had to do was cause enough caos and then run through the gates, straigth to the airplane, get in, and half of her plan would be complete.

It was easier said than done, but the good thing about being clumsy is that it doesn’t matter where she aimed with the bazooka, the plushie would still fly off everywhere, lacking direction or order. At least fifty of them hit members of the security staff, twenty others landed on innocent passersby’s head, three of them hit screens displaying the next flights, and one of them managed to make an area light fall flat onto the floor.

Chaos ensued. It was the Harukapocalypsis.

Minori ran as fast as she could, by the time she got to the plane she lost count of how many panicked flight atendants she had to dodge, but, in the end, she succeeded. Sure, her flight delayed a bit, but did time even matter in a place flooded by Haruka plushies?

Several stressful hours later, America welcomed Minori. She was a little dissapointed, she expected to at least see some eagles flying through the sky, but whatever. At the airport entrace, she finally met Airi again.

“Airi-chan!” She yelled, hugging her as tightly as her arms allowed her to.

“Hello again, Minori. See, I told you! If you really think about it, you already got through the hardest part.” The smile on her face as she let go of Minori was one of the most relieved ones she had in years.

“Although…” She chuckled nervously as she kept talking, lowering her voice. “Just- what the hell was that? Haruka plushies and a bazooka? Huh?!”

“I was feeling a bit silly…”

“Whatever, here are the tools.” She extended her hand, a small box in it, waiting for Minori to take it. Once she did, she held her hand, squeezing it a little.

“This is the last thing you’ll have to do. I’ll be watching the news. I believe in you.”

Time passes, everything was set. Minori was waiting at the top of a nearby building, AK-47 on her hand. She waited for Trump to show up. She didn’t have a good idea of who the guy was, but she was surprised by the amount of people waiting for his arrival.

A few minutes passed, and she saw an old man get on stage. He was exactly what she imagined an American politician to look like. Old and weird. He started talking, and she knew it was her chance to make her move. She aimed at him. Her breath was heavy, she had only one chance to do it. Luckily, Trump didn’t move too much, he was kind of like a wax statue, sweaty looking and all.

Her finger was on the trigger, ready to pull it. She took a deep breath, but as she was about to pull it, but she felt something hit her. It was nothing less than an eagle. She was shocked to see one in a place like that, she kind of regreted not taking a good luck before it flied away. Luckily for her, it came right back. In fact, she could take an awesome look at it, because it flied straigth to her face.

Minori shook her hand in front her face and just as the bird was finally leaving her alone, she accidentaly pulled the trigger on her gun.

She took a look at her gun, then at the crowd in front of Trump. The stir didn’t take long to show up, much like Airi’s call on Minori’s phone.

“Minori, you need to run!”

“Did I hit him?!”

“That’s the problem, you didn’t. RUN”

“...dang it.”

She hung up, and since it was the only thing she could do, she More More Run her way out of the building. She ran across several streets, which probably was very suspicious but she had no time to consider that.

After running for a while, she found a familiar car parked besides the street, which was no other but Airi’s. Minori was quick to get in.

“Where are we going, Airi?”

“The airport, of course! We have yo get out of this country as soon as we can.” Airi’s driving wasn’t especially careful… or careful at all, but honestly, it was justified.

“...sorry”

“It’s fine, I just want to know what happened.”

“An eagle attacked me.”

“What”

“An eagle-”

“Oh, God. The conservative American spirit itself saved him.”

Days passed, and Haruka had to deliver bad news to the rest of the group.

“Hey, I’m sorry, but… our manager called me and said that we can’t use the venue for our concert. Something about it being too busy.”

“Oh, dear…” Shizuku sighed, looking down. “I wonder what happened for him to not realize that earlier. I kinda got my hopes up…”

“Yep. I wonder what happened.” Minori chuckled nervously, exchanging nervous glances with Airi.

“Me too. Who knows, maybe it was just a little misunderstanding.” Airi fidgeted with her fingers, looking at the ground.

“Yeah, maybe…” Haruka bit her lip, her mind wandering through possibilities. “But we can’t let this get us down! There’s still hope, maybe even in the near future, as soon as they have some space in the venue, we can have our show.”

“I wouldn’t rely on that, actually.” Airi replied. “There’s always a chance, but let’s not be too sure about it.”

“Let’s not be pessimistic. We can already start searching for other venues.” Haruka smiled at them, turning on her phone. “Huh. It says here on the news someone tried to shoot Donald Trump. How can someone even fail a shot like that…?”