Chapter Text
Damian was feeling groggy, the last thing he remembered was chugging down a pill bottle…
What was the pill bottle…?
Oh.
Right.
He tried to open his eyes but his eyelids felt so god damn heavy, his body was sore and he felt like he was just beaten up like 10x the max that grandfather would do when he misbehaved…
Wait.
No…
He didn’t succeed.
What’s father gonna say?
What’s Pennyworth gonna say?
What about Todd, or Grayson or even Drake?!
They're gonna see him as a liability, a stupid pest, or again a burden?!
Damian quickly forced himself to sit up and open his eyes, the lights blinded him as he rubbed his eyes and quickly tried to get away from wherever he was. He didn’t care if he was hooked up to some IV’s or heart monitors.
He needed to get out, away, or else they will do something bad to him.
A punishment?
No..Worse what if they actually disown hi-
But as he moved, with his thoughts still spiraling. He felt like there was someone on top of him, or at very least just on top of his legs…He slowly stopped himself to breathe, to calm down, he sat up more straight and as he was gonna check who was on top of him, he felt someone hug him.
Why was someone hugging him? Wait-
WHO WAS HUGGING HIM?
Damian quickly looked over to see Grayson…hugging him, his vision still saw the dark dull gray colors on him but he didn’t think about his vision…
He was thinking about how Grayson was hugging him…And hugging him tight…?
“Gr…Grayson…?” Damian said, though he was surprised when he heard his voice being all crocky and scratchy.
Grayson didn’t looked down, he was just hugging him tight, sniffles can be heard as he felt Grayson’s warm tears soaking his shirt. “I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry…I should have done more…Please I’m so so sorry…”
He kept repeating that, Damian was confused and now a bit concerned. “Grayson…What are you talking about…?”
Jason leaned on the doorframe and sighed. “You literally overdose on Tylenol, kid. Not only that when we tried to wake you up you started to seize.”
Oh.
They were trying to wake him up?
Damian was confused and looked at Jason, why did they care? Didn’t they not care? He’s a liability now? He’s not useful and it was shown especially when they went on that mission? He was a burden…He shouldn’t be relied on.
Back at the league, Damian remembered that when grandfather finds that one of the assassins has a weakness…
Beat.
Thrown.
Punched.
Nearly killed.
Until they learn their lesson, until they realize and train to get rid of their weakness.
And if they didn’t…
Damian didn’t want to get beaten, thrown, punched, nearly killed, he didn’t want that. He wanted to leave before they do anything else, if they don’t care about him that much then maybe the only reason they kept him alive was to be punished.
Maybe he needed that, if maybe…Then he can recover or something…
Damian stared, holding onto Grayson as he still cried. “I see, well I will be awaiting the punishment that you see fit for my recklessness and my weakness.” Damian said, his voice still croaky but it was much more clearer than when he woke up.
Dick looked at Damian with shock in his eyes, Jason stared also in disbelief, why did Damian think they’re gonna punish him? Matter of fact, why did he accept the fact he’s gonna get punished…?!
Dick was gonna saw someone when someone sat up and held Damian’s hand, Damian could feel tears on his hands too, as he looked to see who was holding his hand…It was Tim, he was…He was here?
He was crying too…?
“Damian…I…I know I have said horrible and disgusting stuff and I know it doesn’t excuse my behavior I just…Please don’t think that just because you can’t see color, that just because you couldn’t figure out what to do in that moment while we were fighting the goons…That you’re a liability…” Tim said, with some hics here and there.
Jason continued. “What replacement said, Damian just because you can’t see color, or whatever you’re now useless. That you don’t belong, that we wouldn’t want you. That B doesn’t want you, sure he doesn’t show it because he’s a mess himself but he cares.”
Dick continued as well, as he held Damian and looking up at Damian, Damian was shocked to see his eyes puffy and still teary. “We’re sorry…We’re so so sorry…To make you believe that you didn’t belong and that the only way to escape was to try to kill yourself…We don’t want to lose you…I can’t afford to lose my baby brother…”
Jason pointed to himself. “Dying and getting killed is my job, find something else.”
Damian stared, in disbelief, why are they all being nice…They shouldn’t?!
They should punish him?!
“I don’t understand, I was being a liability, I made stuff worse for Drake. For everyone, I’m a pest, a burden. I’m just another of father’s-”
Tim interrupted him with sobs and holding his hand tight. “STOP SAYING THAT?! DON’T LISTEN TO WHAT I SAID TO YOU THE NIGHT WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT BY SCARECROW…I WAS MAD…AND NOT BY YOU I WAS JUST…Those words I said where pent up anger…Not from you but from everything that has happened to me. I’m not trying to justify what I said, I just…You’re not a liability. You’re not a fucking burden or a pest?!
You’re just a kid who's just been through shit that unfortunately we didn’t understand…And we shouldn’t be just understanding this now when you tried to take your own life…We should have just tried harder. You didn’t make stuff worse for me, I did. By being so cocky and not understanding your pain, not understanding what you went through, I’ve always thought I was right. I always thought that you were just trying to annoy me…Reality, you were just trying to change for the better. If Bruce can’t see that or try to, then we will try…I will try better…You’re my little brother…I shouldn’t have said that about you…I’m so so sorry…”
Tim said, he said sorry…
Damian didn’t know how to respond, was this a trick? Was this just to gain his trust again just for him to be betrayed or to be ridiculed as a punishment?
Tim continued, seeing the distrust and hesitation in Damian’s eyes. “I’m not asking you to forgive me, I know what I did was wrong. I take full responsibility, I just want you to realize Dami that just because you can’t see what we see you’re a burden…”
Jason nodded. “It’s like saying that I died. I'm now a burden, am I a burden brat?”
Damian stared and slowly shook his head.
Jason smiled gently and ruffled Damian’s hair. “Then don’t say you are, I have seen you in the league, I have seen what they did to people when they show a “weakness” you’re not there anymore…We will never punish you for anything like that? Instead we’ll find ways to help you, aid you, support you. You fucking hear me kid?”
Dick hugged Damian tight. “We love you Damian, we truly do baby bat…Losing you would just hurt us more, you not telling us these things and you’re feelings will just make you feel more hurt…We want to help baby bat…The only thing is, are you willing to let us help…”
Damian stared, he stared long and hard.
No they don’t care…
But if they didn’t then why would they be pleading and keep on reassuring him that he’s not a burden.
So that they can mock him.
But they haven’t mocked him at all.
They will soon.
No.
If they did they would have done that, they were sincere, they actually want to help…
Damian stared, why did his eyes feel all sorts of things, he felt tears struggling to come down, but Jason looked at Damian and sighed. “It’s okay…Let it out kid. No one is gonna judge you.”
Damian looked at Jason as he looked down at the blanket his legs were covered, he clutched on the bed sheet as he started to sob, hard core sob.
Jason ruffled Damian’s hair, Dick hugged him tight and Tim held onto his hand.
“You’re not a burden…You will never be a liability or another problem…You’re doing a great job okay…?” Dick said.
And for once, the voice that was nagging him nonstop…
Stopped.
He felt safe for once.
Sure he still didn’t fully forgive them, forgave Drake but he was willing to…
And as he looked up he could see the colors that were before erased from his sight come back, he stared at the now colored brothers…
He can finally see the colors…
And that didn’t stop him from crying even more.