Chapter Text
They arrived at the house in no time, Shawn entertaining Emmie with singing along to the radio. Just as they parked and were about to get out, Carlton stopped him.
“Your ring,” he reminded him. Shawn grinned, reaching back to unclasp the necklace that held his ring.
“Oh, right.”
After a few seconds of fumbling around, Carlton let out an exasperated, fond sigh and swatted his hands away, easily undoing the clasp and maneuvering his arms around Shawn’s head. He pulled the ring off the chain, but instead of just handing it to Shawn like he expected, he pinched it between two fingers and held it between them, fixing Shawn with an extremely intense, serious stare.
“Shawn Spencer, will you marry me?”
Shawn burst into laughter, covering his mouth with his hand before fanning himself like he was overwhelmed.
“Yes!” he exclaimed in a mocking, breathy voice, and proffered his hand to Carlton, who cracked an amused smile and slid it on his finger.
“YAY! Now kiss!” Emmie demanded from the backseat. Shawn twisted around to shoot her a perturbed look, which Carlton used as a distraction to lean over and plant a kiss on his cheek.
“Teaming up against me?” Shawn demanded in mock-betrayal. “The betrayal!”
Emmie burst into a fit of giggles. “But Daddy, we would never be-tay! We love you!”
“Betray,” Carlton corrected out of habit, though all of them knew he wasn’t trying to be unkind. It was his own way of helping Emmie learn and grow, though it wasn’t very effective. After all, she had learned from the best.
“I’ve heard it both ways.” She mispronounced “both,” saying it more like “bowf,” but obviously she had heard that both ways, too. Carlton began to protest, but Shawn cut him off, knowing that it was a losing battle.
“Alright, let’s go see what’s up,” he prompted, opening his door and hopping out. They were parked in the driveway leading to a small, relatively quaint house, probably a bit big for just the three of them, but cozy nonetheless. The inside was tastefully decorated and all the furniture was already there. Spencer noted the two bedrooms, likely intended for him and Carlton, with some amusement and decided to let Emmie have the slightly smaller one. Emmie was delighted to have such a “big room” and set about arranging the stuffed animals that had been in the extra bag Carlton had arranged for her.
About ten minutes into unpacking, the doorbell rang. The husbands glanced at each other, silently trying to figure out who it could be. The Chief? They had been under the impression that she wasn’t coming, but who knew.
Before they could decide anything, they heard the front door opening.
“Hi!” Emmie’s bright voice chimed. Shawn bolted down the hallway and Carlton followed at a brisk walk, not too concerned. They were in a good neighborhood, and it was unlikely that she was in any danger. By the time they came into sight, Shawn was already scooping Emmie up into his arms and lightly scolding her.
“Emmie! You can’t just go answering the door without your Daddies,” he reminded her. She didn’t appear very bothered, though she did nod.
The couple at the door appeared thoroughly amused. “Miles did that, too, and Parker is just growing into the phase,” the woman said. Carlton approached from behind, planting a kiss on Shawn’s cheek and setting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Why don’t you come in?” he suggested. Shawn jolted to action, holding the door for them and shifting Emmie to his other arm so he could gesture for them to enter in a very Shawn-like, overdramatic, sweeping motion. Emmie giggled as she imitated him, which had the woman cooing as she and her husband entered.
“We brought a pie,” he announced, holding said item up and handing it to Carlton since Shawn was still holding Emmie. They all sat down in the ring of couches, which were surrounding a coffee table. Carlton disappeared to the kitchen with the pie, though he quickly returned.
“We don’t have any plates yet. Or silverware.”
Emmie’s face immediately soured. She hadn’t slept very well due to excitement, and now she was being denied sugar for a stupid reason. The man, in a true dad moment, quickly noticed and worked to placate her.
“Uh, we don’t have any clean stuff at our house right now – aftermath of baking – but maybe we could invite the couple that lives in the house to the left of this one and ask them to bring plates? They’re super nice, very sweet, I’m sure they would love to,” he assured them. Shawn shrugged.
“Yeah, sounds great,” he agreed. Carlton, ever anti-social, managed to smile politely, hoping it didn’t come across as a grimace.
“Nice! I’ll be right back,” he told them, jumping up and heading back out the door. His wife laughed at his quick retreat.
“He’s been salivating over that pie since we baked it this morning. We saw the moving truck yesterday, so we figured you’d show up soon. Speaking of which, who was the blonde with the movers? We thought she was moving in, up until you answered the door,” she gabbed on. Carlton didn’t like her, though he didn’t like most people and did a semi-decent job of hiding it. Shawn however, was in his element. Neighborhood gossip was his scene.
“Oh, Aunt Karen! Emmie was having a hard time with the move, so she offered to move all our stuff in so we wouldn’t have to leave her home alone with my brother Gus,” he blatantly lied, selling it so well Carlton would have believed it if he didn’t know any better. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Gus is great, but she needed her dads, y’know?”
“Of course! So, why’d you move?”
“Well, Lassie got a raise, and our apartment was feeling a bit cramped, and I heard about the incredible community here, so I suggested it to him, and here we are! What about you?” he inquired, smiling easily. Carlton was impressed at his husband’s subtlety in interrogation and ability to shapeshift into the epitome of a gossipy wife.
“Oh, we’ve been here for ten years? I think? You’re right, the community’s amazing, and that’s why we moved here, actually. I’m trans–”
“So pretty, too!” Shawn interrupted. She grinned, seeming pleased, and Carlton squashed the ugly little tendril of jealousy that reared its head, reassuring himself that they were married, had a kid, and never had any issues with cheating in the six months they had dated, nor the year and a half they had been married.
“Aw, thanks. Yeah, I know that most people don’t even realize it, which I honestly love, but between that and the fact that my husband’s bi, we decided we wanted to be around our people, for not only us but our kids as well. Our son is fifteen now, and his enbyfriend is actually our neighbors’ teen four doors down,” she revealed. Definitely a gossip – they would be talking with her again, to Carlton’s chagrin.
The doorbell rang again, and Carlton let the woman’s husband in again, this time accompanied by two older women. All three were carrying plates and silverware, though one of the women was also bearing a large tupperware container of some unidentifiable substance.
Once again sitting on the couches, Carlton’s arm around Shawn’s shoulder and Emmie tucked between them, they all introduced themselves.
“Hi!” the woman exclaimed. She was the one with the tupperware container, containing what she had told him was a casserole for their first dinner in the house. “I’m Elanor, she/her. My wife and I are your neighbors to the left. Let us know if you ever need anything.”
“I’m Blair, her wife. I go by she/they,” they introduced herself, smiling sweetly. Her quiet voice and mild demeanor was an insane contrast to Elanor’s exuberant presentation and bright personality, but they were clearly super in love.
“Can you be my grandmas?” Emmie blurted out. Elanor broke into laughter, and Blair smiled kindly.
“I would love,” they emphasized, “to be your grandma.”
Carlton and Shawn shared a smile, though there was hesitation in their eyes that only they could see. Emmie didn’t understand – she was just a kid. They couldn’t afford to make real emotional connections on this mission, yet here they were on the first day and Emmie was already adopting their neighbors as honorary grandmothers.
“Awww,” the other woman cooed. “That’s sweet.” Her husband spoke next.
“I’m Francis, he/him. It’s great to finally have this house filled,” he admitted. “Looked kinda sad, all empty.” Francis was the stereotypical big masculine guy, but he was refreshingly honest when it came to vulnerability while still not being much of a teddy-bear.
“Yes, we just adore meeting new neighbors. Not that there’s ever many, but I guess that just goes to show how awesome this neighborhood is! I’m Theresa, she/her. I’m sure Miles would have a ball babysitting Emmie, if you ever need a husbands’ night out,” she offered. Shawn grinned.
“That would be awesome!” he agreed. “I’m Shawn, he/him, and this is Carlton.”
“Also he/him,” Carlton added.
“What’s your last name?” Elanor inquired. “We’re the Westleys.”
“We’re the Spencers, though I still go by Lassiter at work, since we’re not sure how everyone would react to us being married,” Carlton explained. They all winced in sympathy and understanding, because clearly they got it. They may have all ended up in a loving, supportive, primarily queer community, but they likely didn’t start out there.
“So you work together?” Theresa asked pleasantly. Shawn nodded, grinning.
“Yeah, and all of them actually assume we’re rivals,” he informed them gleefully. They seemed a mix of confused and amused.
“Well maybe if you weren’t always teasing me, I wouldn’t have to make you go away,” Carlton retorted.
“You’re just upset you can’t make me shut up by kissing me,” Shawn revealed. It was immediately denied, but Carlton was unusually red around the ears.
“How long have you been together?” Francis questioned curiously, obviously finding their antics funny.
“Almost two years – in fact, our anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks,” Shawn realized, looking at Lassiter with a fond smile that did nothing to help his blush. He cleared his throat awkwardly, but subtly shifted closer to him.
“I can see how they didn’t notice you’re married,” Elanor commented wryly.
“Ela,” Blair scolded quietly. Elanor sighed.
“No, it’s alright. Carlton’s not too expressive in general,” he told them lightly, taking his hand and squeezing it supportively. Carlton smiled slightly, pressing a chaste kiss to Shawn’s temple.
Suddenly, Francis’s phone began to ring. He checked the caller ID, then stood as he answered it and put it to his ear.
“Yeah, Miles, we’ll pick you up in fifteen.” A pause. “No, we’re at the neighbor's house right now, they just got here.” Another pause. “Nope, but they’ve got the cutest little girl you might be able to babysit.” A beat. “Yeah, Mom can get their numbers for you.” One last pause. “Alright, love you too. Bye.”
He looked to Theresa, who had stood as well. “Looks like we have to get going, but it was good to meet you.”
“Of course! You should come by another time; we’d love to have you.” They all walked to the door, including Blair and Elanor.
“Can I get your numbers for Miles? Maybe he could babysit on your anniversary.”
Shawn agreed and gave her his number, then wished them a good day as they saw them out. The moment they were gone, Shawn remarked, “God, Theresa is absolutely a chronic gossiper.”
“Pot, meet kettle.”
Carlton couldn’t force down the grin that crept onto his face at Shawn’s spluttered denial. He was about to go back to packing when Shawn let out a huff of irritation and gave up the protest.
“Okay, so maybe I like to know what’s what, but that doesn’t make me a gossip,” he protested.
“Whatever you say, dear,” he humored him. Shawn scowled playfully and pursued his retreating back. Carlton affectionately rolled his eyes as Shawn hung off his neck from behind and kissed him hard, standing on his tippy-toes and craning his neck to reach. Caught off guard, Carlton melted into the kiss, only for Emmie to make a noise of disgust.
“Ew! Daddy, Dada, stop kissing!” she ordered them.
They broke apart with a laugh and began settling in for their first day undercover.