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Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of 100 challenge
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Published:
2024-07-20
Words:
1,177
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
4
Kudos:
4
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37

mrrroww

Summary:

So. Todd was a vampire.

Notes:

Inspired by a Reddit post:
Text: Not only did your best friend find out you’re a vampire, but he/she wants you to turn them. You try your best to explain the less obvious downsides to this curse.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

     It was entirely instinct. He hadn’t meant to do it. But when they’d been cornered, and the woman had lifted the gun towards them, he had to do something. His body moved on its own.
     As if in slow motion, Dirk’s eyes moved to meet his

     and Todd knew he was fucked.

 

 

 

 

     Dirk called Farah as soon as he got home.

     He was surprised—shocked—at first, but in true Dirk fashion, immediately took it in stride.
     “It was amazing, Farah, Todd was like, ‘nooooo!’ and she was like, ‘whaaaaat?’ and before I knew it, he was carrying me away from the scene, the very bloody scene I might add—” he cut himself off with a gasp.
     “I didn’t yell,” Todd muttered.
     Dirk turned toward him like he hadn’t heard. “Todd, can you turn me into a vampire?”

     Yeah, Todd was very fucked.

 

 

 

     “I can’t turn you into a vampire, Dirk.” They were back at the place they’d been cornered in earlier. It was a long, cramped passage between two tall buildings, a narrow stretch of concrete they’d hopped a fence to access. In the heat of the moment, Todd had forgotten to check for cameras.
     The woman was gone, at least—he’d left her alive, which posed a risk in itself, but Todd had killed enough people in his lifetime, and anyone raving about vampires wasn’t likely to be believed anyway. The bent gun he’d disposed of earlier, bullets removed then painstakingly crushed into an unidentifiable metal ball and sunk to the bottom of a river.

     He’d always wondered whether he could throw a bullet as fast as a gun could.

     “Is it because of the— Vampire Council?” Dirk sounded way too enthusiastic about the prospect of a supernatural secret society. “If so I’m perfectly happy to wait—”
     There wasn’t a lot of blood (Dirk had exaggerated greatly earlier) and the amount that was left he hoped wasn’t too suspicious for downtown Seattle. Thankfully, there weren’t any windows on either of the buildings, and there didn’t seem to be any security cameras, either. As far as Todd could tell, the narrow path was probably only gated to prevent people loitering, since there was nothing to see.
     A fraction more at ease but definitely not satisfied with the situation, he faced Dirk. “No, there’s no—council, or anything, I just can’t.”
     Dirk, who’d been waiting for his answer, looked surprised, then concerned. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realise—”
     Todd suppressed the urge to groan. “Dirk. I don’t want to turn you.” Brushing past Dirk, he checked both sides of the road for witnesses, then climbed up the chain link fence.
     Behind him, Dirk stilled. “…Oh.” He instantly injected some bubbliness into his tone. “Oh! Alright!” He vaulted the fence with more grace than he should have, jogging a little to catch up to Todd.
     When they were both safely on the other side of the road, Todd stopped to massage his forehead. “Dirk, look.” Facing Dirk, he placed his hands on his shoulders, resisting the urge to shake his best friend. “Being a— you know— it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, okay? I didn’t want you, or anyone, to find out.” Suddenly feeling tired, he quickly went about inspecting the corner store he’d spotted from in the passage—one that, though unlikely, might have glimpsed something. From the outside it appeared to be permanently closed.
     Dirk seemed like he couldn’t let it go. “But… why?”
     Todd squeezed his eyes closed, then relaxed his face. “Please, can we talk about this at home?” There wasn’t anyone inside the store, nor did there seem to be working electricity, judging by the complete silence throughout the premises. It was by no means a comprehensive investigation, but Todd seemed to be safe.
     Beside him, Dirk looked like he was mulling. Todd called his name.
     His best friend instantly brightened up. “I make a mean beef burger.”

 

 

 

     Todd just about passed out as soon as he opened the front door. When he came to, he was on his bed and there was a huge cold but delicious-smelling burger on his nightstand, as promised. Todd finished it in two bites, the juice dripping down his chin, but his head still felt heavy and the nausea hadn’t completely gone.
     “Dirk,” he rasped. He coughed a few times. “Dirk!”
     The mentioned burst through the door brandishing a wooden hanger. “What… Todd! Your eyes are red!”
     “Food…” Todd said weakly.
     Dirk’s eyes widened, and he ran out of the room. Somewhere in Todd’s consciousness he heard the fridge door opening, and a few seconds later Dirk was back. “It’s cold, but—”
     Todd snatched the plate out of Dirk’s hands and chomped into the burger patties three at a time, downing the whole plate in less than a minute.
     He let out a groan, grabbed a few tissues from his first drawer and then slumped back onto his bed, wiping his mouth. “Thanks. First con,” he said, “you get really hungry after using your abilities.”
     Dirk perked up when he realised what Todd was talking about. He blinked. “Is that why you have so many canned beans?”
     Todd couldn’t read minds, but it wasn’t hard to guess what Dirk was thinking at that moment. And here I was thinking it was because you were poor. “Yeah. It’s not as good as meat but it’s ready to eat.” Also because I’m poor.
     Dirk looked excited. “Can you read minds?”
     Todd smiled weirdly. “No.” You sound more like a mind reader than me, he thought.
     Dirk pointed at Todd. “Right. Stay right here, I’m getting my notebook.”

     Guess we’re doing this.

 

 

 

     “Do you age?”
     “Yes.”
     “Can you fly?”
     “No.”
     “Heal?”
     “Slower than normal humans.”
     “Huh.” Dirk scribbled something down in his notepad. Todd was sat up now, feeling more like himself after having a few cans of baked beans. “Turn into a bat?”
     “No.”
     “Hypnosis?”
     “No.”
     “Telekinesis?”
     “Not that I know of.”
     “Pyrokinesis?”
     “No.”
     “Animal whispering?”
     “What?”
     “Hmm.” Dirk frowned. “What do you have in common with vampires in folklore, then?”
     “I don’t have a reflection.”
     Dirk looked surprised. “But I swear I’ve seen you in the mirror before.”
     “I haven’t.”
     Dirk frowned. “How do you get dressed then? You usually look rather put-together.”
     “Camera.”
     “Ah.” Dirk considered this. He counted off on his fingers. “So, you have super strength and super speed, but you get positively ravenous after, and your eyes turn red; you can’t see yourself in the mirror, but cameras work; you’re not immortal, but you can go in the sun; you can’t fly, you heal slower than a human does—”
     “Regular human.” Todd interjected.
     “Regular human,” Dirk reiterated.
     “I can also hear…” His head throbbed and he couldn’t find the right word. “…good.”
     “Good hearing.” Dirk scribbled in his flipbook again. He looked up. “You’re your own type of vampire.”
     Todd smiled. “I guess I am.” He cringed. “Dirk… that doesn’t say my name on it… does it?”
     “…Ah. Of course not.”
     Todd sighed.

 

 

 

     “…Can you show me your teeth again?”

     “Hnghhhhhhhh.”

Notes:

Todd’s vampire traits MODERN VAMPIRE TRAITS
• Super strength
• Super speed
Immortality
Flight
Telepathy
• Healing slow
Bat transformation :(
Hypnosis
Telekinesis
Pyrokinesis
• Animal whispering: ???
• No reflection/camera
• Good hearing

 

–Dirk’s notepad

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