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Sol stormed down the bustling hospital hallway, her white coat flapping dramatically behind her like a cape in a superhero movie. Her steps were quick, driven by irritation and a strong desire to avoid Ryu Sunjae, her annoying ex-boyfriend, at all costs. Sunjae, looking somewhat comically determined, jogged reluctantly behind her, trying to keep up with her strides that seemed to multiply with every annoyed step she took.
"Sol, come on, let's talk!" Sunjae called out, echoed down the corridor.
Sol shot a glance over her shoulder, her eyes flashing with irritation as she heard Sunjae's voice calling after her. "CITO, CITO." Sunjae pleaded, his voice was urgent, his expression comically earnest. She quickened her pace, determined not to let him catch up or persuade her to do anything she didn't want to do.
But Sunjae was 190 cm tall, racing with the legs of 160 cm tall girl, he could easily catch her up with three wide steps. It pissed her off even more.
She couldn't stand it. There must have been imaginary smoke above her fuming head as she turned sharply, her expression firm and resolute. "Back off," her tone leaving no room for negotiation in her words.
"Did you just roll your eyes?"
Sol's irritation only grew as Sunjae still followed her until they came upon a vending machine. To her annoyance, her drink got stuck. She could see Sunjae laughing in her peripheral vision, amused by her temper.
"Oh, shut up." Sol exaggerated a scoff, which made Sunjae furrow his eyebrows, like, What the hell?
Sunjae initiatively thumped the vending machine, followed by clinking sound as the drink had successfully dropped. "Look, I am asking you nicely, though," Sunjae said as he retrieved the drink and moved closer to Sol, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. "Well, sure, if you're not confident in your skills."
Sol shot back, a storm brewing in her gaze, definitely ignoring the drink. "Do you even realize that it's not me or my skill or my knowledge that's the problem here? It's you, it goddamn is you."
"Language, darling.” Sunjae squinted, then purposefully let out an exaggerating breath as he spoke, “Ha. So unprofessional. I see, so you don't want to work with your ex-boyf—"
"Ryu Sunjae."
"Comrades. Friends. Oh. You unfriended me, you said that, remember?"
Sol hissed because she knew Sunjae deliberately bumped his shoulder into her, resulting in a death glare that Sunjae nonchalantly responded to with, "Oh, okay, big cat. Sorry."
Being tall, handsome as hell, and an ex-boyfriend who always seemed to pick a fight whenever he opened his mouth? Good combination, indeed. Sol couldn't help but roll her eyes at the thought.
“There’s no way I leave overtime for you. My shift ends in exactly 30 minutes.”
“Ha!” Sunjae scoffed, loud as if he puffed the whole air out of his lungs. Sunjae leaned closer, enough to feel his breath against her cheek. “What is it now? Blind date?”
Sol shot him a deadly look, her patience wearing thin. "And what about it?"
Sunjae grinned mischievously, undeterred by her glare. He knew that look all too well—Sol was on the defensive. "Just wondering. What kind of a guy this time."
Sol narrowed her eyes, trying to keep her composure despite Sunjae's persistent teasing. "Why do you care?"
Sunjae chuckled, leaning in closer despite her obvious discomfort. "I hope you choose better spot, though? Those blind dates of yours always conveniently near the hospital where I just happen to be around."
Sol bristled, knowing Sunjae's words were meant to provoke her. "Just stay out of my personal life."
Sunjae shrugged nonchalantly. "Wouldn't dream of meddling."
"But, three times, Sol," Sunjae teased, his grin widening. "Three times I've seen you squirm under the pressure of impressing someone new while I watch from afar."
"And your point is?" Sol shot back, her voice sharp.
Sunjae's expression softened slightly, his gaze locking with hers. "My point is, ditch him, have a date with me instead.” He smoothly slipped something warm into her palm, but Sol barely realized it, her attention fixed on his eyes. "Thirty minutes, Room 6," Sunjae reminded her gently, his tone shifting to something more serious.
"Well, Sol. I don't need your agreement. Because congratulations, we’re the chosen ones by our respective professors. My professor let me do this and your professor chose you to do this and we're going to do this together—unfortunately."
“No way–”
"Check your fucking phone. There should be someone calling you now."
Just as Sunjae finished speaking, Sol's phone exploded with notifications mostly the same; a mandatory from her professor to handle the exact patient Sunjae talking about. Sunjae glanced down at her with his (in)famous dimpled smile, a charm that once captivated her but now added a layer of irritation to her already flustered state.
“In exactly 30 minutes, room 6. Don't be late, darling.”
"From so many ORs, you choose the coldest one. Of course. You hate me."
"That is why..” Sunjae nudged at the square thing, a hotpack he passed into her palm earlier then playfully winked at Sol. “I think you might need that.”
Before Sol could even open her mouth, Sunjae playfully added, “Oh, you’re welcome, darling," Sunjae responded with a wink, "I wouldn't say I hate you. It's more like... keeping you on your toes because you will remain there with me throughout the surgery." There was something somatic, and Sunjae was a great trigger. Sunjae scrunched his nose–his habit–the face he would show when he won the sarcasm. "Subarachnoid Hemorrhage. Post seizure. I've put the file on your desk, babe!"
It would be a nightmare for Sol. First, she was sensitive to cold. Her body still couldn't adapt to the operating room temperature, even though she had been staying there almost every day for almost 3 years, and Room 6 happened to be the coldest room out of all the rooms. Her stomach always went weird whenever she has surgery there (yes, gas and more, you all know it). Second, Sunjae was not skillful enough to perform a surgery within 5 hours—the average time for craniotomy surgery—so she was going to be stuck with that guy for a minimum of > 5 hours in a cold room. Oh, dear life. Third, it was Sunjae. It was just simply Sunjae. If it was someone else, even in the same situation, she could probably handle it better, but it was Sunjae. She hated Sunjae. Sunjae hated her, too.
That's how it usually went. Im Sol, one of the anesthesiology residents, and Ryu Sunjae, one of the neurosurgery residents at Hankook Hospital.
"Why are they always at each other's throats?" It was a question that echoed through the hospital corridors, a conundrum that had baffled their colleagues for years. Sunjae and Sol, both brilliant in their respective fields of neurosurgery and anesthesiology, were notorious for their ongoing fights. It was a feud that defied explanation, considering they didn't even share the same major. Well, almost no one knew—besides their close friends—that they were once...
...a couple. Their breakup had been messy, full of unspoken words and unresolved conflicts that only added fuel to their professional rivalry. The tension between them was palpable, a mix of old grudges and competitiveness that lingered.
Despite their relentless rivalry, there was a deep-seated respect for each other's unparalleled skills. It was a respect forged through countless battles and shared triumphs, a recognition that in the world of medicine, they were a force to be reckoned with. They both hated each other, but things should stay professional, right? It wasn’t like they only collaborated once or twice.
As Sunjae went somewhere— she didn't know, no single care about him— Sol took the opposite way and went to the cafeteria. She needed a nice, refreshing grapefruit ade to cool her mind and then check the file that he had passed to her. She had no choice.
"Just get through this," she muttered to herself. "Just get through this, and it'll be over."
But then, as she walked into Room 6, the cold air hitting her like a wall, Sunjae's cocky dimpled smile greeted her.
"There you are, right on time," Sunjae said, his tone dripping with mock sweetness.
"Ha." Sol scoffed, forcing a smile as she clutching the hot pack tighter. "Let's just get this over with."
Sunjae chuckled, clearly enjoying her discomfort. "Don't worry, darling. I'll make sure you're...comfortable."
Sol rolled her eyes and moved to her station, trying to focus on the task at hand. The next few hours would be challenging, not just because of the surgery but because of Sunjae's constant presence. She could feel his eyes on her, that teasing grin never far from his lips.
As he scrubbed in, Sunjae glanced over at her. "Nervous?"
"About the surgery? Hell, no." she shot back. But in fact, she was. The patient's profile was alarming.
"Good. Because I need you sharp today," he said, his voice suddenly serious.
Sol met his gaze, feeling the intensity in his eyes. For a moment, everything between them replaced by a sense of responsibility for the patient they were about to treat. She just nodded in silent.
–-------------
The next day, Sol felt like she had been run over by a truck. Every muscle in her body protested as she made her way to the cafeteria. She needed to eat something, even though the thought of food made her stomach turn.
“I heard that you’re sick. Are you okay now?” Hyunjoo shifted her chair closer as Sol sat down with her bowl of bibimbap. Sol nodded lazily in response. “All my body sore, my abdomen, my legs, my butt, everywhere. Extreme fatigue and headache. Clogged, itchy nose.”
“Allergy?” added Chorong. “You were just fine yesterday though.”
“Right? Right.”
“Ate something bad?”
“Nope. Just Ryu Sunjae.”
Hyunjoo and Chorong looked visibly questioning her answer. But one, Hyunjoo just went along with it, the other one, Chorong looked amused because it could be something that crossed his mind.
“Ryu Sunjae? You ate Ryu Sunjae? I didn’t know you guys are fucking— OH that’s why your butt, legs hurt—”
“Damn, he caught a cold too this morning, I saw him sneezing—”
“Shut up—”
“Yeah we kinda had a rough night last night.” Ryu Sunjae coming with his tray, sitting next to Sol, winking at her, "Hi, exㅡ friend. Partner, on-going."
Sol's face turned red with a mix of rage and embarrassment as Sunjae sat down next to her, casually winking. She had to resist the urge to throw her grapefruit ade to his face.
"Don't you have anything better to do?" Sol snapped, glaring at him.
Sunjae smirked, unfazed. "Just wanted to check on my lovely partner. How are you feeling after our little adventure yesterday?"
Sol clenched her teeth. "I feel like I was hit by a truck, thanks to you."
"Well, you did great," Sunjae said, ignoring her tone. "We make a good team, don't you think?"
"Like hell we do," Sol muttered, stabbing her food with unnecessary force.
Hyunjoo and Chorong watched the exchange with wide eyes, torn between amusement and concern.
"Okay, seriously, what happened between you two?" Hyunjoo asked, unable to hold back her curiosity.
Sol sighed, not sure what made her rubbing her temples, it was the headache or Ryu Sunjae, "Surgery, what else?”
"More like a war," Sunjae corrected, still smirking.
"But you two worked together yesterday?" Chorong asked, trying to piece things together. “Again?”
Sol nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, and despite everything, we managed. Well, I managed."
"See?" Sunjae said, nudging Sol's shoulder, which only doubled her annoyance, "It's not like once or twice we're doing this together. We're a good team, darling.”
Actually, during the surgery, the atmosphere in Room 6 was tense. They really had it rough.
The cold temperature only adding to the pressure. Sunjae and Sol were both super focused, their differences momentarily set aside as they worked to save their patient.
"Vitals are steady for now, but keep an eye on the blood pressure," Sol called out, her eyes never leaving the monitors.
Sunjae nodded, focusing on the delicate procedure at hand. "Suction," he ordered, and the surgical assistant promptly complied.
Suddenly, the patient's blood pressure plummeted, the heart rate following suit. Alarms blared, and a chill ran down Sol's spine that had nothing to do with the cold room.
"Blood pressure's dropping! We're losing him!" Sol's voice cut through the alarm sounds.
Sunjae's hands moved faster, more decisively. "We need more suction here! Keep him stable, Sol."
Sol's hands flew over the equipments, adjusting the medications and fluids. "Administering epinephrine. Hang another unit of blood, stat."
The room was a flurry of controlled chaos as the surgical team worked together, every second feeling like an eternity. The patient's vitals remained unstable, with blood pressure dangerously low and the heart rate erratic. Sol's mind raced as she adjusted the IV fluids and medications, trying to find the right balance to stabilize the patient.
"We're losing too much blood," Sunjae called out, his voice strained but focused. "More suction here! I need better visibility."
The surgical assistant moved quickly, providing the necessary tools. Sunjae worked with precision, but the blood loss was severe. The patient's oxygen saturation began to drop, adding another layer of urgency to the situation.
"Sol, we need more blood!" Sunjae demanded, not looking up from his work.
"Already on it," Sol replied, signaling the nurse to hang another unit of blood. She administered additional vasopressors to support the patient's plummeting blood pressure.
"He's still tachycardic," Sol muttered, her eyes fixed on the monitors. She increased the dose of epinephrine, hoping to coax the heart rate back to a safer range.
The patient's condition continued to deteriorate, with the EKG showing signs of ischemia. "No way," Sol hissed. "He's going into cardiac arrest. Prepare for CPR!"
As the surgical team readied for chest compressions, Sunjae made a swift decision. "I need to control the bleeding, now! Give me the hemostats!"
The assistant handed over the hemostats, and Sunjae's hands moved with practiced skill, clamping the source of the bleeding. Sol's focus shifted entirely to the patient's cardiac function, readying the defibrillator.
"Charge to 200," she ordered, her voice steady despite the chaos. The paddles were placed, everyone backed off as she delivered the shock. The patient's body jerked, but the heart rhythm remained chaotic.
"Again! Charge to 300," Sol instructed. Another shock, another moment of tense anticipation. This time, the heart rhythm stabilized, a weak but steady pulse appearing on the monitor.
"He's back," Sol announced, relief evident in her voice, but she knew they weren't out of danger yet. "Maintain compressions until the heart rate is stable."
Sunjae, still focused on his part of the surgery, called out, "I've got the bleeding under control. Sol, how's he doing?"
"Heart rate is stabilizing, blood pressure is coming up," she responded, her hands moving swiftly to adjust the medications. "We need to keep monitoring closely. The next few minutes are critical."
The room remained tense but the immediate crisis seemed to be passing. Sunjae continued to work meticulously, ensuring that the bleeding was fully controlled. Sol monitored the patient's vitals, her eyes never leaving the monitors.
After what felt like an eternity, Sunjae finally stepped back, his face a mask of exhaustion and relief. "He's stable. We did it."
Sol nodded, her own fatigue setting in. "Let's get him closed up and to the ICU.”
Sol shot him a withering look. "Don't push your luck. You were cocky last night."
"You made me panic."
"He has a history of consuming aspirin, you idiot. You know that."
Sunjae’s gaze was serious, it was almost cold. "Language, honey."
"Then shut the fuck up.” Sol remarked.
“I had you with me, though.”
Sol stopped, visibly confounded. She took a deep breath, then put her fork down gently. Before she could run her mouth to swear at him, he added, "I trusted you. That's why I was confident about taking this surgery. I was serious when I said you were my lucky charm.”
Lucky charm.
“My lucky charm,” it was what always Sunjae said to Sol back when they were still dating.
The memory of Sunjae winning a gold medal in his swimming competition back in their high school time.
The memory of he winning a handphone for her in the singing competition.
“I guess we are each other’s lucky charms.” when they both were accepted in the same university, in the same major, medical study.
He stopped saying it five years later, when he was accepted in neurosurgery.
Sol blinked, momentarily stunned by the unexpected compliment. The cafeteria was buzzing around them, but for a moment, it felt like it was just the two of them. She remembered what happened after the surgery ended.
Sol cleaned herself, changing from her previously infectious scrubs to a clean set. She didn't expect Sunjae to be waiting for her in the doctor's common room.
She didn't say anything, just walked past him to get a coffee. Her hands were still trembling from the surgery. It was her first time ever in her residency years having a patient go into cardiac arrest on the table. She had always managed to prepare and stabilize them before surgery.
Her phone rang. As she reached for her phone buzzing in her pocket, she saw the caller ID—her blind date. Her date. Right. They were supposed to meet at 8, which was almost one hour past. She answered quickly, intending to apologize for standing him up.
"Joo Heekwan-ssi, I'm really sorry about earlier," Sol began, her voice contrite.
But before she could finish, a wave of angry shouts burst through the phone, loud enough for Sunjae to hear from where he stood across the room. Sol's eyes widened in shock as her date unleashed a tirade of frustration at being kept waiting.
"Ms. Im Sol. Seriously? You made me an idiot waiting here for over an hour. Do you even value my time? I’m also a busy person." His voice echoed through the quiet room, every word piercing through Sol's composure.
Sunjae's expression shifted from curiosity to concern as he watched Sol's reaction. He could feel the tension in the air, his own heartbeat quickening in response to the confrontation.
Sol tried to interject, to explain, but her date's anger drowned out her attempts at apology. She glanced at Sunjae. She couldn't believe this at all. It was too embarrassing. From Sunjae witnessing her squirming in her blind dates three times, now he watched her literally getting yelled at through the phone. Her dignity was flat zero in front of her ex-boyfriend, her rival, her enemy. Why did he have to be the one to see her ruined love life, years after their breakup? The humiliation stung deeper because Sunjae knew her intimately once, and now he witnessed her at her lowest romantic point.
"Yes, I apologize for not telling you earlier, it was an emergency," Sol attempted to explain, her voice wavering with embarrassment. "If you're okay, I can buy you a coffee to make up for it—"
Her date scoffed loudly, clearly not mollified by her apology. "Forget it. I'm done waiting around for you. It's better to call this blind date off."
The call ended abruptly. Sol felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, her cheeks burning, not from anger–she gave zero fuck about her blind date ㅡbut from the shame as Sunjae observed the whole humiliating scene. She wanted to disappear, feeling exposed and vulnerable in front of him after all these years.
Sol froze, as she felt a pair of strong arms encircle her waist, the familiar scent of hospital-grade shampoo flooding her senses.
Sunjae.
Sunjae hugged her from behind, his arms circling around her waist and just hanging there but successfully sent shivers down her spine. He nestled his nose into the curve of her neck, his warm breath sending a wave of tingles through her. Sol closed her eyes, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she leaned back into his touch. His lips grazed her skin gently, pressing kisses along the sensitive curve of her neck, each touch igniting a spark of desire deep within her. She could feel his heartbeat against her back. He nuzzled deeper and his arms tightened, but strangely it didn't feel excessive or make her uncomfortable. It felt almost comforting, despite their history as exes.
"I'm sorry," Sunjae murmured against her neck.
Sol was surprised at how her lips betrayed her, letting out a small, hitched sound as Sunjae murmured again against her neck. His words were barely intelligible, but they sent vibrations through Sol's sensitive skin, heightening the already charged atmosphere between them. Her heart raced, conflicted emotions swirling as she fought the urge to lean deeper into his touch.
Sunjae's arms tightened around her waist once again, as if there was a remaining space to pull her closer. His warmth enveloped her, contrast to the cool hospital air. This time was an open-mouthed kiss, square at her jaw line. Slightly wet but burning. Sol closed her eyes, surrendering momentarily to the sensually comforting embrace, despite the complexities of their past and present.
"Thank you," his words barely a whisper but heavy with gratitude.
Sol swallowed hard, struggling to maintain her composure. "For what?" she quivered, voice laced with a vulnerability she couldn't hide. Sunjae didn’t answer, but she could feel him smiling against her skin.
They both stayed silent, the ticking clock and their breathing the only sounds in the room.
Sunjae pulled back, just enough to turn Sol around to face him. They stood there, looking into each other's eyes, the weight of the night settling between them. Sol could see the exhaustion in his eyes. Sunjae was just busy adoring the sight before him. Still as beautiful as years ago. Still beautiful as always. Teary eyed, with a layer of desire. This was the exact same gaze when he kissed her hard, any moments when he successfully took her breath away. Sol fitted in his arms so well, like she was designed only for him; which made him want to cry or just go beyond.
"Fuck that motherfucker, he missed out the coolest woman in the world." he said softly, his hands still resting on her waist, fingers traced gentle circles on her back.
Sol felt a lump in her throat. "I don't need his validation," she replied. She looked up at Sunjae’s soft gaze, at his eyes that were eyeing somewhere else, directed so obviously almost shamelessly to her lips. Her throat felt hoarse.
"I know," he murmured, his voice barely audible. "But I needed you to hear it."
For a moment, it seemed like the world outside had faded away, leaving just the two of them in that quiet, intimate space.
Hyunjoo and Chorong exchanged glances, sensing the underlying tension but also the strange bond that seemed to connect Sol and Sunjae.
“Bastard.” Sol said under her breath.
Sunjae turned to Sol, a somber look in his eyes. "Dead serious. I should have kissed you first last night," he said softly, but loud enough for their friends to hear.
Sol's eyes widened in surprise, her heart skipping a beat. She glanced at Hyunjoo and Chorong, who were now watching them with rapt attention.
"You–" Sol began, unsure of how to respond. The memory of their closeness after the surgery flashed through her mind, and she felt the familiar emotions—confusion, curiosity, and a hint of longing, or in short; vulnerability, for whatever the reason was.
In that charged moment, Sol was the one who closed the distance between them, her lips meeting his in a tender kiss.
Time seemed to stand still as they melted into each other, Sunjae pulled her closer, caught her in an open-mouthed kiss that progressively changed into sloppy kisses. He nibbled and lapped her lower lips repeatedly, as guiding her to circle her arms around his neck. Sunjae sucked her lower lips, and she parted open. He naturally licked onto her mouth, dominating her with more force, fervently yet tenderly. His hands instinctively stroking her sides, her waist and the small of her back in a way that awakening all her senses. Feeling blown away, Sol threaded her fingers through Sunjae's hair, pulling him impossibly closer as she deepened the kiss, pouring all her emotions into the embrace. The room was filled by smacking lips and heavy breathing.
Sol felt light-headed, unsure if it was from the rush of dopamine flooding her system or the sheer lack of oxygen to her brain after the kiss that felt ten years late. She pushed Sunjae gently to catch a breath just for Sunjae to rain her with wet, languid, feathery kisses all over her face. The sounds of his lips smooching her skin drove her beyond crazy.
They broke apart slowly, their foreheads resting against each other as they caught their breath. Sunjae cupped her face in his hands, his thumb gently brushing away tears that had escaped during their kiss. He watched her eyelashes flutter as she opened her eyes. His gaze was hopeful as if he was seeking something more.
"What do you count this as?" asked Sunjae, his voice was soft.
Sol thought hard, embarrassed by her own excitement. She hesitated, then said tentatively, "Comradery?"
Sol could feel the sudden change of the atmosphere. Sunjae stiffened under her touch. She went into a panic, thinking she messed up this time just like in the past but meeting up with his eyes now was the last thing she was confident to do.
Sunjae nodded slightly, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then, with a gentle smile, he let go of her waist and stepped back. Then, without looking back, Sol turned away, breaking the spell of the moment.
Sol scoffed. She hated how well Sunjae's effect was on her. "You always know how to say the most ridiculous things."
Sunjae's smirk didn't falter. "Ridiculous? I’m just honest." Sunjae sighed, then added in smaller voice that only heard by Sol, “Comradery, bullshit.”
"Honest?" Sol's voice had a sharp edge. "You were the one who almost botched the surgery with your overconfidence."
Sunjae's expression sobered, and he leaned closer, his tone losing its playful lilt. "Always changing the subject. You think I didn't feel every second of it when his vitals were dropping?"
Sol's eyes flashed with anger and something else—fear, maybe. "Then why act like it was just another day at the office? Like you weren't scared out of your mind?"
"Because that's what we do, Sol," Sunjae replied, his voice equally intense. "We keep our cool, even when everything's falling apart. And you were amazing. You kept him stable when I couldn't."
Sol felt her defenses wavering. "You were reckless. You took a risk that shouldn't have been taken."
"And you saved him," Sunjae countered. "We saved him. Together."
Sol's breath hitched. "Why do you always have to make everything so complicated?"
Sunjae sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because it is complicated. Because there's more between us than just rivalry or past mistakes."
The banters didn't make sense at all, it sounded like 9-year-old kids throwing words to each other yet somehow it felt so close to home. Sol believed Sunjae just like to mess with her, as usual, but she saw it—the devastation in his eyes. She hated that it affected her more than she could imagine. It felt like he still held on to them.
The cafeteria went silent for a moment, their voices cutting through the ambient noise. Hyunjoo and Chorong exchanged glances, sensing the tension.
"Woah, woah—Sunjae, bro—maybe you two should just, Sol— guys, you know, tone it down a bit? People are watching—" Chorong suggested cautiously.
Sol stood up abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor, causing a few heads to turn. "I need some air," she muttered, not meeting anyone's eyes.
Hyunjoo and Chorong exchanged worried glances as Sol walked away. Sunjae watched her go, his expression torn.
After a moment, he stood up too. "I'll be back," he said to no one in particular, before following Sol out of the cafeteria.
Sol was already halfway down the corridor, her steps brisk and determined. Sunjae quickened his pace to catch up with her.
"Sol, wait!" he called out.
She didn't stop, but her pace slowed slightly. "What do you want, Sunjae?"
"I just want to talk," he said, finally reaching her and matching her stride. "You can't keep running away every time things get intense."
Running away when things get intense. Strike. She did it in the past, and she was doing it, at this moment.
Sol stopped abruptly, turning to face him. "I'm not running away," she said, her voice strained. "I just needed a moment to think."
"I want you to stop pretending like you don't feel it too," Sunjae said softly. "The connection, the way we work together, the way we interact, the way we look at each other, the way we.. kissed.. last night. I don't want to fight with you anymore, Sol. I want to understand you."
Sol's eyes met his, the conflict clear in her gaze. "The kiss. Was a mistake. I was carried away. I needed intimacy. It was a hard surgery. I got yelled by my blind date, you basically watched my love life falling apart, you saw me squirming in every embarrassing moment in my life–from millions people why it has to be you? You seemed to like it watching me stupid. Just think as I gave you a free point. We’re evenㅡwhatever.”
“For God’s sake. What the hell are you talking about?”
“I broke down, you seduced me and I fell into your trap. I kissed you first, fine. You win. Now, get away from me.”
“It’s never a game, Sol—”
“But I feel like you’re playing with me.”
"God, what kind of bastard do you think I am?" he asked, his voice laced with frustration. "I touched you because I wanted you. I want us to start over. When you kissed me, I thought I understood you, that we're on the same page. I want to understand you. Talk to me. Please."
Sol looked at him, her eyes softening slightly. "It's not easy, Sunjae. There's so much history, so much—"
"I know," he interrupted gently. "But we can figure things out."
"We felt lonely with each other's company. And we will be.” Sol rushed off to emergency stairs, her steps was fast, basically running but Sunjae, who was almost 2 meters tall, could catch her up so effortlessly.
"Still lifestyle problem? We're older now. We can figure that out. We can't keep letting this lifestyle tear us apart. We will still work as doctors in the future.”
Sol stopped behind the emergency door, looking pained and exhausted. "Sunjae, for me, it's more than that."
Sunjae looked at her, his expression earnest and hopeful. “Then tell me.” He urged gently. “You never told me your reasons back then.”
Sol's breath fluttered with emotion as she poured out her heart to Sunjae, the words weighed down by years of suppressed feelings and unfolded regrets. They stood facing each other in a quiet corner of the hospital, as the faint ambience filling the space between their raw conversation.
"The real reason why I broke us," Sol began, her voice barely above a whisper yet filled with a profound sincerity that resonated in the empty corridor. "I loved you, I loved you as much as I hated how small I felt next to you. I felt jealous, no matter how hard I tried to shake it off. It felt ugly to love you and yet feel that toxic jealousy."
Sunjae’s lips parted, but he stayed silent. He listened intently, his usually confident demeanour softened by the weight of Sol's confession. Her words cut through the lingering tension between them, exposing the deep-seated emotions they had both struggled to articulate for so long.
"You know I wanted to be a neurosurgeon," Sol continued, her voice gaining strength as she laid bare her inner turmoil. "We worked so hard to pursue that dream together. We both studied late into the night. But I'm not a fast learner. I had to do everything all over again to understand. I had nosebleeds from both the stress and excessive studying. But then you passed, and I didn't.”
She was thrown back to the memories of him saying she’s his lucky charm. Though he didn’t say it when he was accepted in the neurosurgery, she remembered how she hated it back then, “I’m indeed his lucky charm, even when I’m not lucky myself.” He did nothing wrong, but there was indeed something wrong with her.
Sol swallowed her memories, feeling shameful, guilty, for thinking about it at this moment. “I had to abandon something to reach that, and I had nothing but you. It was only you I could abandon."
Tears welled up in Sol's eyes, reflecting the pain of years spent grappling with her own insecurities.
"I love my job. I’m content being an anesthesiologist. It’s my dream now. I don’t hate you being the one you are now, the golden kid of neurosurgery– no, never. But even now after the years later, we're standing on the same level," Sol paused, taking a deep breath before shakingly said, "...the guilt is still creeping me up. I can't stop hating myself for once feeling that way. I hate myself for abandoning you for a stupid, immature reason. It was so hard without you, I regretted that a lot. I can't believe myself sometimes. It’s so embarrassing to say, it must sound like a stupid excuse, but back then I felt like I was losing myself in your shadow. It was just too ugly."
"That’s why I picked a fight first, the moment first we met again, in this hospital." her voice trembling with vulnerability as she looked at Sunjae. "I saw how well you were doing, how confident you seemed. It made me feel foolish for still carrying these feelings for you. I thought you had moved on, and I felt stupid for still feeling so strongly."
Her voice faltered, emotions bubbling to the surface. "I thought if we were rivals, enemies even, it would lessen my guilt, that it would be better for both of us."
Sunjae's expression softened, his eyes filled with both adoration and regret. He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "It’s not stupid. It’s valid," he began, his voice gentle yet firm. "I’m sorry, Sol. I never realized you felt that way. I should’ve been there for you, really been there. I thought you were tired of me. I thought you had fallen out of love with me. I didn’t see how much you were struggling.”
He paused, looking at her with a vulnerability that was rarely seen in years. "I felt like I was losing you and I didn’t know how to fix it. I thought if I just worked harder, proved myself more, it would make everything right. But I missed what was happening to us, to you. I should’ve asked, should’ve been there more."
"It doesn't make it any less painful for you,” Sol murmured, her voice a soft tremor laced with sorrow and remorse. “We were supposed to be… lovers. I was too wrapped up in my own insecurities and ambitions. IㅡI’m sorry.”
Sunjae took a step closer, his touch gentle enveloping her petite form, as if molding her into himself.
"I should have been honest with you," Sol admitted, “I loved you, Sunjae. I think, I still do.” her voice barely above a whisper. Her gaze met Sunjae's, tears dripping down her cheeks. "And I Iied. The kiss wasn't a mistake. I really wanted to kiss you. So bad."
Sunjae's eyes widened slightly in surprise. His chest felt like it would explode in any second. He formed a soft, almost amused smile spread across his face. It was endearing. His Sol was always endearing. "Awww, Sol," he said gently, his voice filled with affection.
He reached out and gently wiped away her tears with his thumb. "You don't know how much that means to me," he continued, his smile never fading. "I've always wanted the same thing."
Sol looked at him, her tears slowing as she saw the sincerity and warmth in his eyes. “I don't want to lose you. I just want us to start fresh, please.” Sunjae’s eyes held hers. His gaze was intense yet full of love, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation. Sol, in the other hand, looking at him with hopeful gaze. It reminded Sol of ten years ago, when everything was perfect. She cried even harder.
This. Her Sunjae.
In that moment, world became less important as if it was losing its meaning.
Sunjae leaned in, closing the distance between them, and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was charged with a decade's worth of longing and untold stories, a passion and pent-up emotions. It was intense and deep, but different from last night—rather than feeling like ten years late, they felt like they just came back to where they belong.
Sunjae's hands moved to cup her face, his fingers threading through her hair as he deepened the kiss. Sol responded with equal fervor, her hands gripping the front of his scrubs, pulling him closer. The world around them faded away, leaving only the sensation of their lips and the rapid beating of their hearts.
“Hold a second,” Sunjae pulled away, wiping her snot before it dropped lower.
"Hey..!" Sol gently swatted his hand away, her cheeks flushing.
Sunjae's heart swelled. A warm, genuine laugh escaped his lips, and Sol couldn't help but join in. Without another word, they leaned back in, their laughter continued, muffled and sweet, blending into a kiss that was even more honest, tender, and passionate.
When they finally broke apart, both were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. The kiss had been a release, a promise, and a new beginning all at once. Sunjae's eyes searched Sol's, and in them, he saw a reflection of his own desire for a future together. It was as if they both understood that heaven was simply holding each other's hand.
Fin.