Chapter Text
Benedict leaves London in a hurry by her own urging and Eloise is left alone once again, alone with her worries and fears. Ben's first letter, short and full of words alluding to the situation being much more serious than they thought, doesn't help either. Note from Cressida herself, safely tucked in the envelope too, seems much more calm and collected, but Eloise can still feel the nervousness simmering in her guts, her anxiousness not allowing her to concentrate on much else.
The wait is agonizing, but thankfully not too long. Just couple weeks later, another missive arrives, even shorter than before. “We are heading north” is all that is written there, that and two names scribbled underneath and that is finally enough for Eloise to snap out of her unsettling existence. Correctly assuming that Ben and Cressida are trying to get to Scotland, Eloise decides her attendance to the season has been more than satisfactory already and declares her wish to return to Kilmartin.
Naturally, her mother protests, wanting Eloise to partake in the marriage mart. She is loyally supported by Penelope who even has the cheek to look offended, complaining about all her work becoming futile if Eloise leaves, as she is already laying ground to help her find a suitable husband. She obviously expects a pat on the back for her “care” and unsurprisingly, she does get one from Violet and Colin and Eloise is left fuming with barely held-on rage. Thankfully, her hopes for having Kate on her side prove to be substantiated.
In no uncertain terms, Kate tells Penelope to mind her own business and family, the insinuation of the bond between them being non-existing despite sharing the same name now, more than clear. She declares Eloise free to leave as she pleases and shoots down any additional arguments from Violet. The conflict between them Eloise watches with keen interest as well. Things that have been hidden until now, not forced to light by Kate's own doubts and struggles to fit into her new role, now glare obvious for all to see. And despite her sweet words, Violet doesn't want to relinquish her position in the family and the power it gives her over her children and their lives. She talks about wanting the best for them and Eloise is suddenly confronted with the realisation of just how unyielding this idea of “the best” is in her mother's eyes. How rigid Violet's idea of happiness is and how uncompromising she can be while pushing it on them all.
It only gets more obvious when Cowpers storm the Bridgerton house the very next day, demanding to know where is Cressida. Benedict's whereabouts are finally revealed to the rest of the family and Eloise is forced to admit she send her brother to Wales. However, not even threats make her disclose where he and Cressida are now, stubbornly refusing to open her mouth, not even after Mr. and Mrs. Cowper are forced to leave again, the demands for satisfaction for Ben “kidnapping” their daughter left unanswered. The second door close behind them, her family is all over her, Violet at front, lamenting Eloise's decisions and weeping over her son being trapped by that “horrid girl”. Not caring for much else, to hear otherwise, their mother makes up in her mind that is the true state of affairs. Penelope and Colin, both jaded by Cressida in their own right, readily support this narrative.
The cup overflows and Eloise explodes.
The row following is one to be remembered in the family for years to come. Suddenly inspired by the words Cressida wrote in her letter, little post-script at the end of the page, softly urging Eloise to step out of the shadows and stop pushing her own feelings and desires aside for her family's sake, she speaks her mind. Flippant line about “they survived Whistledown, they will survive you being yourself” resonates in her ears and Eloise listens. Touch of cynicism Eloise suspects Cressida cultivated within herself as a coping mechanism with her family can be read in those words, yet Eloise accepts them without reservations, at least for a moment. Letting out all her frustrations, she rages on Penelope, reading her for all she done, to her, to this family, to others. She then turns on her mother and voices her disagreements and disappointments with her as well. The guilt she experiences after finishing, seeing Violet's eyes swell with unshed tears, is nearly unbearable. She's back to wanting to beg, to plead for her mama to understand and love her unconditionally. Almost apologizes and is stopped from doing so only by Violet finally finding her voice and gasping out a hurt “How could you, Eloise, I always only ever wanted the best for you”, completely missing any points Eloise has tried to make, not even entertaining the idea she could be shouldering part of the blame for their cracked relationship. As much as it pains her, as much as it feels like a knife has been driven into her heart, Eloise stands her ground this time and doesn't back off. She only repeats her decision to go back to Scotland.
Kate assures her of her blessing and Anthony, while not saying a word himself, doesn't stop her either and so following morning, Eloise boards the carriage and sets on her way. She watches the London skyline disappear and another kind of pain lurches in her chest, her eyes straying east, where she vaguely guesses Bloomsbury resides. There is this urge still, this longing not to be too far from the place. Despite not daring to step a foot in its streets, too preoccupied by her worry for Cressida and her fear of Penelope once again taking the matters into her own hands and deciding what is best for her without care for her feelings, the place and its occupants have still lurked at the back of her mind. Eloise didn't go to Chancery Lane, too scared to bring trouble to Theo's doorstep again, but the very thought of breathing same air as him has brought her at least a little bit of peace. And now she must say farewell to this little mercy as well. For a moment, she contemplates turning back, but that thought is gone as soon as it comes. Despite Cressida's words, she does put her own desires aside once more. Or maybe, just only closely second. For her biggest wish now is to be reunited with her friends and family north and see Cressida with her own eyes, see for herself she is well and safe. And if the fates wills it, to restore the friendship they once started to build. Only then, when this is settled, she can focus on her heart. (And oh, it is a matter of the heart, that much she is certain of even now.)
Ben and Cressida naturally beat her to getting there, so Eloise is welcomed back in Kilmartin by them as well as Frannie and John with Michaela. The relief of seeing them all well is quickly exchanged for a certain degree of shock when it is revealed that the escape from Wales has been conducted with a stop at Gretna Green.
“You got married?” Eloise exclaims, eyes big and mouth hanging open as she switches her gaze from Ben to Cressida and back again. They just grin at her and then tell the entire story, their hands never straying too far apart as they talk. It's strangely endearing, seeing them so soft for one another, only to be mercilessly teasing in the next second. As astounding as the initial idea is, Eloise finds herself fully on board before the end of Cressida's story comes, her happiness over their happiness not faked in the slightest.
They all catch up and at the end are faced with the inevitable – to inform their family back in London. Everybody is aware that could get out of hand pretty quickly and so other plans are put in place, securing everyone's position and making everything appear as proper as possible. John doesn't need much persuading before he is setting the newly-weds with a flat in Edinburgh, publicly declaring his support. Only then they write to the Bridgertons, revealing the truth.
There is concern of Penelope taking affront to sharing the name with her nemesis, fear of her wanting to get revenge. For the first several weeks after sending the letter, they all live in a fearful expectation of Mr. Cowper storming the Kilmartin Castle, send here by Pen, and causing havoc. But nothing happens. And then, just as the summer starts saying goodbye, letter comes written by Anthony's hand. It's not long and infuriatingly vague in details, but the sentiment behind the words can be read well enough. Anthony congratulates his brother on his nuptials, sends his regards to the newest Mrs. Bridgerton and then asks them to stay in Scotland for a while as he takes care of things in London, promising to protect them from both Mr. Cowper and any potential slander. Penelope's name is not mentioned even once in the entire writing, but Eloise feels that she is the source of aforementioned slander Anthony wages his latest war against. It makes her indescribably happy, the fact he is on their side. Till now, Eloise was sure only of Kate's support. Knowing that they might have Anthony's as well is most welcome development.
With things seemingly settled – or at least on the way to become so – the tightness in Eloise's chest finally seems to loosen up a little. Kilmartin estate is only two hour ride from Edinburgh and Eloise takes an advantage of this fact frequently. Accompanying Michaela on her trips to town, Eloise often finds herself a guest at Ben and Cressida's home. Where her relationship with her brother continues easily as before, rebuilding the friendship with Cressida takes a bit more time, the hurt between them not possible to ignore. But they both have an interest in fixing it and that propels them to not give up, even when the ugly truths of the past rear their heads and threaten to unravel any progress they make.
Eloise watches with a smile how happy Cressida seems to be, how happy Ben is by her side. Their home is full of colour, Benedict going back to painting and Cressida to her extravagant dresses, both delighting in the freedom of expression they are afforded. Eloise watches Frannie and John too, them still completely besotted with one another and Michaela finding her way into that blissfulness as well. If the mere idea of all three of them finding love together is positively scandalous, Eloise finds herself strangely unconcerned. The happiness trailing in their wake is more than enough to find whatever arrangement they have acceptable to her. Eloise grins and gently teases and is rewarded by blushing smiles from John and Fran and giddy smirks from Michaela and she feels inspired.
There is a fund for men without means, allowing them to access the education at the Edinburgh University. It's being primarily funded by Kilmartin estate, hence Michaela's position – and her pull in deciding to whom these opportunities should go. There is only one name Eloise can think of and she says it readily, making such a case for his acceptance that the letter offering him the position leaves the very next morning. To her delight, response comes just as swiftly, Theo accepting without reservations. He has millions of questions and Eloise longs to answer them, but for now, opts to stay out of spotlight, her involvement in his future kept secret by her own request. The lingering fear of something going wrong (or rather, someone making sure it would go wrong), is still present.
She is content to know he is well and working towards his dreams and lives on the snippets of informations she obtains from Michaela. Once or twice she dares to venture near the University buildings, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, only to run away the second she thinks his face appears among the mass of other students pouring out of the lecture halls. Michaela rolls her eyes at her and Cressida with Frannie keep nudging her to be brave, but Eloise persist in her position for months.
It doesn't change until Anthony arrives to Scotland two weeks before Christmas, unannounced and with news and apologies on his lips.
“I'm sorry, Eloise. I let you down. Had I known what Penelope did, had I been home when she revealed herself… rest assured she would not be met with such a warm welcome from the family.” He says, looking Eloise straight in the eyes.
(His first steps in Scotland were to Benedict, to inform him and Cressida that should they wish it, they are more than welcome to come back to London with him, the situation with Cowpers resolved. He doesn't appear to be that surprised when both Ben and Cressida express their hesitance to do so. Already building life in Edinburgh, they are slow to let go of the happiness they found here. Ben might be more amiable to return, but his wishes are now heavily affected by Cressida's. And despite her love for society, she is in no rush to come back either. After all, Edinburg has a lot to offer as well – and somehow less of the restrictions. Ben paints and Cressida finds she is rather excellent at getting his work to be seen and recognized by others, essentially acting as his agent. She is slowly establishing herself as a patron of the arts of sorts, appreciated and revered for her talents, her mind and quick tongue. She floats around Edinburg salons and ballrooms, colourful and vibrant and Benedict loves it.)
Anthony recognizes well that yet another sibling has chosen to settle down at a safe distance from the rest of the family and Eloise wonders if he sees that longing in her as well, for he doesn't try to convince or order her to come back even once, only assuring her she can if she wants to.
“I'm putting some arrangements in place. For Colin and Penelope to take residence at… safe distance from us. They are parents of the next baron Featherington, they should immerse themselves into that side of the family. And Lady Featherington is so very excited to have her grandson close.” Anthony reveals and looks completely unapologetic now and Eloise cannot help the slow smirk sneaking on her lips.
“Brother… how devious.” She drawls, finding a curious sense of satisfaction in the fact that despite her schemes, Penelope will end up back where she started. Anthony responds to her smile with his own and then continues, revealing rest of his plans:
“Also, since Penelope is so well off, I feel no guilt over significantly reducing Colin's access to the Bridgerton money. I'm transferring it to Ben. Since Miss Cow… Mrs. Bridgerton is currently out of favour with her family and unable to access her rightful dowry, I thought they could use it.”
“They won't like that.” Eloise says and then upon seeing her brother's confused stare, clarifies: “Penelope and Colin, I mean.” Anthony only shrugs his shoulders.
“Well, there is plenty of things I don't like either, but we have to live with it.” There is some of that old known unyieldingness in his voice, the stubbornness that used to drive her crazy. Today, Eloise finds it rather welcome, appreciating it being directed onto suitable targets. She watches Anthony pace the room for a moment, hands wringing together as he gathers his thoughts. When he speaks, it is still decisive, but somehow a bit sorrowful at the same time.
“I respect Colin choosing her as a wife, I respect he loves her. But she called Kate a beast. She called Daphne lacking and she almost ruined your reputation. And for nothing, apparently, since she was not punished by the Queen in the slightest.” He scoffs and shakes his head and then his eyes are back at hers and for the first time in her life, Eloise feels like her brother is talking to her as an equal, not just a little sister to be corrected or reprimanded:
“She slandered our entire family and I'm sorry it took me this long to do something about it. We had a… hard time, me and Kate. With the pregnancy and our roles… I was too concerned for my own well-being, for Kate's. I'm sorry.” He suddenly looks miserable and what can Eloise do in the face of it, but cross the space between them and hug him fiercely. If Anthony is taken aback by this unexpected show of affection on her side, he hides it well and quickly reciprocates the gesture.
“You are allowed to take care of yourself. You don't have to keep fixing everything.” Her words are slightly muffled by his shoulder, but Anthony hears them well enough. Eloise feels him nod and while there is a conflict in his voice when he speaks, she knows her words do have meaning, they are being listened to.
“Well… I'm still fixing this.” He pushes Eloise gently away, keeping his hands on her shoulders and suddenly, the atmosphere in the room is very much lighter. Something seems to give, something shifts and Eloise knows that their relationship will never be as before. And she is glad for it.
“Good. I'm sure Ben and Cressida were very grateful.”
“Yes, of course.” Anthony responds, sounding slightly distracted. His brows scrunch in the next second. “Tell me one thing, will you. Are they happy? Are they… for real? Because I'm still having a hard time reconcile the idea of Cressida not being a devious harpy.” He looks genuinely confused and Eloise must laugh.
“Oh, she's still a harpy. And Benedict loves it.” It's said with the utmost affection and Anthony accepts her assessment with a good natured roll of his eyes.
“Lovely.” Eloise giggles again and Anthony cracks a grin as well and then he steals the air out of her lungs with a simple question:
“And you? Are you happy?” He's still smiling, but no longer joking and Eloise finds she cannot brush it off with a quip, her tongue having a mind of its own and giving an honest, if not especially enthusiastic answer:
“I'm… content.”
“That's not good enough.” Anthony frowns and the happy grimace on Eloise's face shifts slightly, not sad exactly, but certainly more pensive.
“I'm afraid that things that make me happy would make our family rather unhappy.” She thinks that will be the end of that, for surely Anthony must understand by now where her interests lie. And she is not wrong. He does understand. More than she could ever hope.
“You are a smart woman, Eloise. But you are utterly wrong in this case.”
“If you knew…”
“I do know.” Anthony cuts her protests, the way he stresses the word leaving Eloise trembling with foolish hope. She thinks they must be miscommunicating again, but his next words assure her of the opposite.
“Fran wrote me about your endeavours with Miss Stirling. And about what that man means to you. So did Cressida.” His face gives nothing away now and Eloise finds herself gaping at her brother again.
“Damn their big mouths.” Is all she manages to say, completely at loss of words. Anthony laughs, honest to god cackles, and then is tugging her back close, pressing a brief kiss on her forehead before positioning her again at arms length. He leans down slightly, to level his face with hers and speaks with so much sincerity that Eloise thinks she will buckle under it.
“Go for it, Eloise.”
“What?”
“Go to him. Declare yourself.” He pauses, makes a face like he just thought of something extremely distasteful and then concludes with rather exasperated: “Try not to get pregnant before you marry.”
“Anthony!” Eloise's shock cannot be hidden now and she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. She smacks his shoulder a little, shaking her head in disbelief.
“I'm more likely to get arrested than with child if I follow your advice.” Anthony is genuine, there is no doubt about it, yet Eloise is hesitant to let herself believe. Somehow, it seems to good to be true. But Anthony doesn't take it back, rather doubles down, draping an arm around her shoulder as he starts leading them out of the room, back to the salon to rejoin others.
“Sister. We already have a gossip monger and a social pariah in the family. Political radical will be the last of our problems.” He is so very confident and despite her doubts, Eloise cannot help but ask:
“Are you sure?” Another smile, another kiss on the crown of her head.
“Absolutely.”
Anthony leaves the very next day, rushing back to London to spend the holidays with his family. Their goodbye is much warmer than last time, made so much sweeter by Anthony's repeated reassurances that his opinion stands and she has his support to take her life in the direction she wishes.
And so, finally, Eloise lets herself be brave, lets her heart take over fully and next time she lurks around the University, she doesn't flee. She stands her ground, weathering the curious looks the other students give her and waits until he appears. She feels the corners of her lips stretch upwards when seeing him, nose buried in the book, tails of his coat billowing behind him in the sharp December wind.
“Theo.” The name slips from her lips easily, so achingly familiar and so sweet after not being uttered for so long. Eloise watches as Theo stops dead in his tracks, raises his face up and confusedly looks around, his eyes widening impossibly when finding her.
“Eloise.” He breathes, absolutely reverent, before physically shaking himself and correcting the address:
“I mean… Miss Bridgerton! Wh… What are you doing here?” It's like a dream, he turns to her naturally, automatically, not stopping until standing right before her. Eloise feels the heat raising to her cheeks, she is positive she's absolutely aflame.
“Waiting for you. I know your lectures finish early today.” She had lines planned, witty, endearing lines, but face to face with him, she can only speak the truth, plain and unadorned, not caring how pathetic it might make her sound.
“You know? How…” It doesn't take him long to understand, the realisation crossing his face for a second, before something more heady settles over his features:
“It was you. You got me here.” Theo's voice is calm, even and yet Eloise rushes with answer like she is being accused.
“No. You got yourself here. I only suggested your name.” She looks up at him, silently pleading any higher power listening to not let this devolve into a bitter mess once again. The gods don't answer her, however. And neither does Theo. He only continues to look at her, his stare intense and Eloise finds words spilling from her mouth at a breakneck speed, her hidden fears of him reacting to her involvement in his life with fury suddenly scarily acute.
“Please. Don't let some injured pride ruin this. I swear I was not trying to meddle in your life in any way. I just wanted to give you an opportunity for something you desired. You talked ever so ardently about education. I swear this is not a charity. Rather an investment, actually. I remember you saying that educating people is the best investment country can make. So please. Don't be angry.” She's nervous, her arms flying around as she speaks, she's always so very expressive when in situations that make her heart race. Her head is swarming with thousands of possible answers she could get, that she almost misses the one Theo actually speaks, his voice incredulous and yet strangely gentle.
“Are you quite mad?” He tucked his book under his arm and with his free hand, reaches for one of her own and that helps more than anything he could say to settle her agitation down a little.
“Possibly.” Eloise mutters and is amazed to see that Theo's lips now do the same dance hers did previously. It's not a wide smile, but Eloise feels it down to her toes anyway.
“Why would… how could you possibly think I would be angry with you for this.” Theo breathes out, his fingers around her tightening momentarily. His eyes never leave hers and Eloise notices only peripherally that his free hand made a vague gesture to their surroundings, accentuating what this means. Suddenly, Eloise cannot remember why she ever was so worried.
“I don't know. My brother was rather upset with our other brother when he found he helped him achieve his dreams by paying for Academy acceptance.” She shrugs and then grins happily when Theo responds with a little chuckle. Subconsciously, they take a half a step closer, tips of their boots nearly touching.
“With all due respect to your brother – he sounds like an idiot.”
“Hm… he kind of is.” Oh and it's so easy to slip back into their banter, to the playful teasing and (not so) accidental fleeing touches. She knows there is a lot to talk about in the future, that they both said things in the past that need to be explained and resolved and apologized for. But right now, there is nothing more important than the fact the way back together is wide open.
“So… you are not upset with me?” Eloise asks again when the silence stretches between them, not uncomfortable at all, yet another thing that astounds Eloise to her core.
“No.” Loose curl above his forehead jiggles as Theo shakes his head and Eloise finds the sight utterly adorable. She almost reaches up and touches the strand of hair, her fingers fairly itching to do so. She controls her urges at the very last second, the arm already making way up stopping midway and instead winding around Theo's. Eloise slots herself to Theo's side and delights in the felling of rightness it evokes. Shivers pleasantly as Theo stays close even as they start walking, out of the University courtyard and into the streets.
“Good. Because I'm not allowed into those walls and I'm afraid I will be needing you to tell me everything you learn in them.” Once again, Theo's hold on her tightens and then he speaks, his tone a lovely blend of earnestness, excitement and teasing.
“That's quite a lot. It might take a while.” And Eloise cannot help but look up at him, twinkle in her eyes and badly concealed delight in her own voice:
“Oh, Mr. Sharpe. That's what I'm counting on.”