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When I got my job, I wasn’t expecting… all this.
Jackalope did warn me about the insanity that these murderers would be… but, I really didn’t think something like this would happen.
“Es! It’s so lovely to see you today!” Mahiru chirped, a supposedly friendly , normal action, had it not been the 6th time it had happened today, her wheelchair literally parked at the entrance to the hall.
It was 8 am, and Es just wanted to get to the panopticon.
“What do you want , for God’s sake? Can I please continue?” They finally exploded. I have no idea what’s up with her. She’s not usually like this.
She wilted, and seemed nervous. “Oh… I just wanted to say hi.”
You’ve been standing here, not letting me go out to the hall for the past half-hour. “This is the 6th time. Stop not letting me leave. Let me continue.”
“I can’t let that happen, unfortunately. Plus, it’s a weekend! Don’t you want to get some more sleep, sweetie? It’ll really benefit you in the long run, y’know?” Mahiru seemed nervous about something.
Es was so confused by the nickname. Why is she acting like this? “I want to start my day , Mahiru-”
A loud banging noise sounded, followed by a crashing and smashing noise echoing from the hallway. They jumped like a cat that had noticed a pickle. “ What was that?”
Mahiru started to look more nervous, standing (her injuries were fake trust). “Ahaha, nothing … nothing at all!”
Es tried to walk past her, but she blocked the whole hallway with her wheelchair.
Another banging noise resounded, and they made it past Mahiru, by climbing over her wheelchair. The scene was something they regretted seeing; there was a bulldozer in the panopticon.
How the fuck did that get there?
The prisoners were there too, but that was just normal protocol. Es gestured wildly to the scene “Guys, why the fuck is there a bulldozer in here?!”
Es stepped forward to stop whatever madness was happening but was abruptly halted by Shidou, lifting them up by the armpits. “We’re getting all of us out of here, before Trial 3. You can't stop us.”
They tried to get out of his grip but failed. “Hey, hey. You guys don't have the authority to do this!”
Futa smirked, rolling down the window to the bulldozer. He looked more alive than Es had ever seen him. It seems his ideal job would be to become a construction worker. What does that say about his- “Alright, folks, hop in! We’re not experiencing Trial 3!”
For some reason, he also lost his eyepatch, there not being even a scar. Why are these people’s injuries gone?
What am I thinking of right now? What’s even going on? They started to struggle more.
For some reason, the bulldozer started transforming into a van. Es was still being held captive.
The prisoners eagerly hopped in, ignoring the lack of logic. Mu and Haruka went first, Kazui next -- he got the passenger seat, Futa only had a permit, so the most responsible prisoner was put next to him.
Kotoko was dragged in and seated by a newly uninjured Mahiru, just like Es, who was walking in shock, being seated next to a similarly dazed Kotoko in the very back of the big car.
They subconsciously leaned against her, trying to find a guide in this new environment. I’ve never been in a place like this.
Milgram… Milgram’s gotta do something about this, right?
They whispered, “What in the world is happening right now? Kotoko? Help?”
She, for once, looked completely lost but whispered some assurances to them. It only made them more nervous.
“What is the meaning of this, Futa Kajiyama?”
He turned back, revealing a toothy grin. “We’re getting out of here, whether you like it or not, lady .”
A disgruntled Amane was seated next to them by Shidou, who smiled and dusted off his hands. “I’m adopting you two.”
Es set aside all of the contempt they held for the 12-year-old child, and they banded together. “We won’t allow that.” “Fuck you.”
Amane turned to them. “Such vulgar language is not allowed, but… we will make an exception. F- frick you, Kirisaki Shidou.”
He looked horrified, hearing such an utterance from a tween and teen like it wasn’t completely normal. “We’ll have to work on that later.”
“ALRIGHT FOLKS, BUCKLE IN!! WE’RE GOING TO IN-N-OUT.” Futa yelled from the very front. He seemed very enthused about being able to drive. What does that mean?
Es looked around, and everyone else was pulling down straps. What? Why are they doing that?
Kotoko tapped their shoulder. “Es, you gotta put your seatbelt on.”
“The fuck’s a seatbelt?” They added the swear in just to piss off Kirisaki Shidou.
Kotoko opened her mouth, attempting to explain it. “It’s… for safety. You’ll need it, with the way he drives.”
I… still don’t exactly understand. What’s it keeping us safe from? That’s not effective armor. “ Huh? This thing isn’t gonna be moving that fast, is it?”
She looked down at them with cold eyes. “Oh… trust me. You don’t understand Futa Kajiyama, don’t you? You will learn true fear.” I’m scared…
Es’ palms started to clam up, and they hurriedly buckled in, imitating what everyone else did around them. Kotoko nodded at them, saying in a dead-serious voice. “Feel free to rely on me if it gets too scary, Es. As your fangs-”
They scowled, interrupting her before she could start monologuing. “Listen Kotoko, I’m not gonna-”
The bus started up, and Es was instantly terrified . For one, they had never been in a moving vehicle. Secondly, Futa was an erratic driver, starting and stopping. Thirdly, they could not see what was happening outside due to being wedged in the middle seat.
Luckily, Amane was equally terrified, and they clutched onto each other--Es wasn’t relying on Kotoko,-- in hopes of seeing the light of day again. She murmured prayers underneath her breath, and Es just muttered, “Milgram… save me Milgram… Milgram save me…”
There was no god or Milgram possible in this car.
There were two things that united the pair of kids: Kirisaki Shidou’s antics, and whatever the hell Kajiyama Futa’s driving was. Two very dangerous and powerful things.
It did not help that the usually calm and temperate Kazui was yelling at Futa to try and keep them alive, old heart newly reinvigorated by the constant threat of death.
Mu clutched onto Haruka, screaming about how she was gonna barf (gross), Yuno went on her phone, somehow not getting carsick, Shidou handed back a barfbag to Mu, Mahiru pulled up some cheerful music on her phone, and Mikoto had somehow fallen asleep.
How in the hell did that man fall asleep?
Futa finally stopped maniacally laughing, Es didn’t even know he started and stopped at a restaurant. “Alright, folks! Fuel yourself up for the road, we got a long way to go!”
A… what? Where are we going?
Es got out of the car as soon as possible and looked behind them. The restaurant that they had stopped at, an In-N-Out , was in the middle of nowhere. The only other thing around was a long road, no Milgram in sight.
I’m going to cry.
The next thing they knew, they were sitting down inside, having ordered a burger and a small milkshake. Amane sat next to them, at an empty table.
The employee was quite in shock from the appearance of 10 straight-jacketed people and a traumatized-looking teenage warden but eventually decided that customers were customers.
“So… I have decided to disavow Kajiyama Futa after that car ride. He isn’t joining the cult anymore, there’s no redemption for the likes of him.” She looked even more traumatized than in some of the scenes of Purge March.
They nodded, eyes staring into the distance, somewhat in denial as to what just happened.
Mahiru and Shidou sat across from them, without their approval.
“Alright! Es, is this your first time eating out?” Mahiru asked.
They nodded, again.
Shidou shook his head. “I’ll have to cook for you later, but… I hope we can help you experience all of the life you’ve missed. This goes for you Amane. Cults… they’re already horrible, but they take the children, too…”
Amane scowled. “It’s not a cult.”
Es grinned, finally finding a footing in the conversation. “It is.”
“Is not!”
“Is too!”
“Is not!”
Mahiru giggled. “Aww… we’re almost like a normal family!”
What… oh right, her story had something to do with gender roles. Damn.
Es crossed their arms. “I’m a non-binary warden, Amane is… Amane, and Shidou… I guess he’s annoying, therefore okay? But don’t expect us to act normal.”
Amane nodded. “Yeah! But though family and child-rearing is a good path… sometimes, it might not be that good of an idea.”
She looked over at the other 2 groups. Mu was dramatically running to the bathroom, followed by Haruka, crying about strawberry soda. Yuno looked annoyed by her reaction.
Meanwhile, Futa was ranting about customer support and its decline to an apathetic Kotoko while the poor employee watched. Mikoto (?) looked like he was about to blow a fuse and punch him, but Kazui separated the two and apologized to everyone.
Es nodded solemnly. Wait, why am I agreeing? We’re not a family in any way? “So, when are we going back to Milgram?”
Shidou and Mahiru looked at each other like they had said something concerning. “Es… what’s Milgram?”
What?
Amane looked equally confused, then made a little “ooh” sound, trying to join along and instantly breaking the illusion, poking Es. “Haha, yeah , there never was a Milgram, you’re crazy, Es.”
Es looked around for an argument. “But then why are you guys wearing straightjackets? Where’d I get this outfit? Stop lying to me, you two. It won’t work.”
Mahiru deflated. “Aww… but, I would like to forget Milgram! You don’t have to worry about it anymore, not when we’re around!”
Es scowled, and crossed their arms.
These people are really getting on my nerves.
“Yeah, yeah. Real funny. But, Jackalope will come to get me.”
Kotoko heard their dialogue from the other side of the restaurant. “Hahahahahaha! Funny story. Yeah, I killed that guy.” What?!
They opened their mouth in shock, hand covering it. “Wh- what?!” My guardian! Wait, since when have I called him that? Is that a-
“My B.” She shrugged, not caring about their emotional reaction.
Amane patted their head with the utmost sympathy. “I… understand what it’s like to lose a pet. But, this is an opportunity to learn, grow, embrace suffering, kill your mother, and go insane. It is simply one of God’s trials.” I’m not gonna kill Mahiru- wait, I don’t have a mother.
Shidou smiled at her, and with a slight scolding tone, said, “Now, now, Amane. Killing and going insane is not a viable solution to problems. We’ll have to talk about that one later.”
Mahiru nodded. “You aren’t fitting into my idealized family right now!” I’m gonna ignore her yapping.
Amane subtly reached into a pocket of her uniform, but stopped, as Es pacified her, deciding they didn’t want another one of their surrogate parents to die.
Wait… does the warden protection apply to me anymore?
Well, I think the best way to solve that problem is to not think about it anymore. And maybe not get into arguments with Amane.
The employee came out with their meal, and Es stared at the wrapping. Amane figured out how to undo the tucking on her Impossible Burger™ before them, and stuck out her tongue.
In the moment, at the prospect of food, Es forgot about Jackalope. Mmm… There’s probably no Jackalope hair in this…
Wait, he’s dead. I should be sad about that.
Welp.
They opened it and took a bite. It wasn’t amazing, but it was better than anything that a rabbit with an oversized ego and fake horns could do.
They finished it pretty quickly, and they turned to their milkshake. Shidou and Mahiru were watching them intently, but pretending otherwise.
Es was fed up with the two’s antics. “Alright, can you guys not ? Let me eat in peace.”
They tried to sip the milkshake, but nothing came out. That’s a scam. They undid the lid, and sipped the whipped cream. What’s this stuff-
They “Holy shi- this is so good, what?”
Amane glared at them, and Es noticed she had no milkshake. Ooh… did she not get it because of religious stuff? Oh right…
Well, her loss.
They continued consuming the sweet delicacy, getting offered a napkin when their inefficient method caused it to make a mess of their face.
Oh… that’s good. I… what do they put in this?
They had completely forgotten about Jackalope, surrounded by the warmth of a true family.
-
Once the entire Milgram group had finished their ‘breakfast’, making sure to tip the underpaid employee, there were conveniently more cars in the parking lot. The prisoner’s old cars, to be specific.
Mikoto decided to go off with Kotoko and part ways once they got to the city, and she waved to them as she left like she had been kidnapped.
Why doesn’t she have her own car? Wow… these 20-year-olds really suck at getting their licenses. At least I have an excuse.
Kazui’s old car was populated with all of the teens and Fuuta, excluding Es. He didn’t seem to mind, and the car left.
Shidou and Mahiru both had cars, but they wanted to stay together. “Alright, Es, Amane, who would you like to go with?”
Amane started to think, and Es did too. Okay, so… I do slightly desire Shidou’s continued existence. He should not be alone with Amane. “I’ll go with Shidou.”
He smiled, widely. “Thanks, Es, this means a lot.” Oh my god.
They got in the car, and Es got in the passenger seat. Finally. " Shidou, I’m doing this to prolong your lifespan. Everything you’re against.”
He turned to them. “Okay, buckle your seatbelt, and… Es, you’ve given me more than just the physical ability to live.”
The hell does that mean? They gave him an exasperated look.
Oh, it’s the innocent verdict, not anything I did. “Innocent verdicts really do that to a person. Plus, the guilty verdicts did much worse than any good I did.”
Shidou turned to them, and his eyes softened. “Es… if it was any other warden, if it was an adult, with sympathy on my situation… hey, the guilties mean you don’t give out those verdicts like candy. Take Amane and Mahiru." They flinched. Oh...
He shook his head. "You shouldn’t blame yourself for the impacts, for those were true expressions of your heart. You didn’t know of the consequences, thus you shouldn’t be blamed.
You… were just doing your job. You were trying your best. And… seeing someone like that, still so full of hope, so full of vigor, but somehow full of love… that, that saved me more than any verdict.”
Es blinked, not sure how to process this monologue. Well… I still… he doesn’t understand, that wasn’t really my verdict.
But… He still said it didn’t matter. That… my verdict… but my personality… but, that doesn’t make sense…
Now I’m confused. What I did during the trials… did that matter? It affected someone, in a positive way?
Shidou looked saddened by their evident conflict but decided to stop them before they could start crying. “Anyways, Es, have you heard any other music other than our MVs?”
They shook their head. “I think I’m-”
He turned on the radio, starting to play some strange song. It was upbeat.
Huh… Es was entranced by this new media, distracted from their thoughts while trying to make out the lyrics the best they could, occasionally chatting with Shidou about them.
Eventually, after a song came up, they stopped listening to the lyrics, traumatized by their content.
After Shidou decided he wasn’t much for conversation, they settled for staring out the window, the strange new tunes playing in the background.
The world was laid out for them from the car window, sunlight-dappled green fields and the occasional animal winking at them.
They had never seen all of this. What more have I missed out on?
But… maybe all this new stuff… isn’t that bad?