Actions

Work Header

You light up our world like nobody else

Summary:

Pai reflects on his journey as the fourth member of the polycule he has with his beloveds!

Notes:

I have always wanted to write a story where Pai is a complete simp over Rain, where he talks about his feelings. We rarely get to see such stories, and I really wanted a Pai POV! So here it goes! I hope you guys will enjoy reading it!

Thank you Kit and Arpita for telling me that a story doesn't always need smut.. 🤭

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Pai stretched as he waited for the plane to finish its final taxi. God! It felt good thinking about landing in Thai soil after almost 4 years away! He knew very well that his family would be waiting for him, but he also knew that they were not who he would be meeting first today. He also wondered why he had chosen to fly via a stopover at Seoul, but it was something he had been wanting to do a while. He had chosen to fly business because he had thought that it would be peaceful, but the couple across the aisle had kept him up all night with their constant chattering. It was only the weirdly annoyed faces of the cute boy on the seat next to him that had stopped him from marching up to them and gagging them.

The boy had a beautifully mobile face and gorgeously expressive eyes. It was the eyes that caught him first. They were big, a curious shape screaming of mixed heritage, brownish-black in colour, and clear, making it evident that the boy was an innocent. He was dressed conservatively enough, but if you looked closely, you could see the lightly glossed lips and the very dull kohl on the eyes. Obviously, the boy was experimenting with his sexuality, and he was still not sure where his bent lay. But he was polite, and also bilingual, speaking fluent Korean and English to the airhostess, which really impressed Pai. Both languages were not easy, Pai knew that well, since he still struggled with his own, despite several years in England.

Pai was standing at the conveyor belt when the boy walked past him, surprising him once again, as he talked to someone named Sky(?) in fluent Thai this time. Pai was beyond convinced that he had met a genius. He could barely manage two languages, and here was someone, who looked barely legal, who was speaking three of them with the seasoned ease of a veteran. Pai sighed and shook his head, collecting his luggage and walking out, putting all thoughts of a pretty brown haired boy, who had beautiful eyes, out of his head, as he brought up the image of the person he was desperate to meet.

He had left after he and Phayu had decided to go separate ways, the connection between them weakening. But Pai knew that Phayu could never be his. Pai was.. in the simplest way, an Alpha. While not as dominant a personality as Phayu, Pai knew that with both of them so similar, clashes were more likely to happen than not. When Pai had dropped the bomb of leaving in front of Phayu, he had been considerably disappointed that Phayu had not stopped him from going. He had been in his 3rd year at the Architecture faculty at Chula, and that meant he barely had time for himself, forget about having time for Pai. So Pai had taken a unilateral decision of going away abroad for further studies. It had hurt that Phayu hadn’t stopped him, but Pai knew that all in all, it was better this way.

Three months later, Pai watched as Phayu repaired a bike, waiting his turn. They had had a session the day Pai had returned, just after the races, but post that, Phayu had maintained his distance, almost starting to go further and further away. It had hurt, but maybe it was best this way. Suddenly, Phayu’s phone pinged, and Pai watched with sinking feeling as Phayu’s face lit up with a happiness and went slack with a softness that he had never seen on the man. “Phi Chaai is in love. He is being pursued by the cutest little Nong,” Saifah spoke up, from where he was standing next to Pai. Pai had never known if Fah knew about what he felt for Phayu, but the slightly warning tone just then made Pai realise that he did, and he was telling Pai, in his own way, that Phayu was serious about the boy.

And it was not like Pai couldn’t see that for himself. Phayu’s expression said it all. This was not a mere fling. This was much, much more and Pai wondered what kind of person it could be who could capture Phayu’s attention. Was he jealous? Yes, he was. But he and Phayu were friends before anything else. So he really hoped that Phayu found his happiness. “Fah, Rain is at the gates. Could you go get him?” Phayu asked, taking his attention away from the phone. “Let me. I don’t have any races coming up,” Pai said, wanting to meet the boy who seemed to make Phayu this whipped looking. Phayu nodded, typing something on his phone and then giving Pai the thumbs up.

Pai reached the guards and waiied. “I am here to pick up Rain?” He made it more of a question since he was not sure who Rain was in the first place. “I am Rain Phi,” a sweet voice said from behind him. He turned around and saw a boy leaning on the fences. His jaw dropped open in surprise. He knew this boy! He was cute then at that time three weeks back. But today, he was positively glowing. His smile made his eyes sparkle like stars. Intelligence dripped from them and Pai was absolutely mesmerised. This was Rain? It was not fair. Wasn’t he the one who had seen Rain first? Well, honestly, wasn’t he the one who had seen Phayu first? But it seemed like that both the people he had seen first, had ended up with each other. It burned him! But before he could say anything, the boy bounced over to him.

“P’Pai, right?” he said. Pai nodded. The boy immediately looped his hands through Pai’s and dragged him along. “I am so happy to meet you Phi. I have heard so much about you from my P’Phayu and P’Fah, but I have only seen you in pics so far. I have been dying to meet you. I think you are amazing! You studied in London right? Will you speak to me in English so that I may improve my skills? This is so much fun Phi. My first time at the races. After meeting P’Phayu, I seem to be doing everything for the first time. But P’Phayu is strict with me. Are you going to race Phi? I want to see you race.” Rain had talked nineteen to a dozen until they reached the mechanics’ tent. The moment he saw Phayu, he bounced off, happily calling out to the man and leaving a very bewildered Pai behind.

“Did Rain burn your brain?” Fah asked in his ear, as he stared at how Phayu was with Rain, making him jump out of his skin. “Phayu seems different,” was all he said. “Rain is talkative, but the sweetest person I know. He lights up Phayu’s world like nobody else,” Fah said, looking indulgently towards the boy who had his brother wrapped around his little finger. “I have seen him with people, but he has never fallen as fast, as hard or as deep as he did for this boy,” Fah said, slicing yet another cut on Pai’s already bruised heart. He was about to say something when Chai told him that someone was looking to race him. He nodded and straightened just as Rain came bouncing back, Phayu in tow. “P’Pai! You are going to race?” he asked, the awe in his voice making Pai want to preen and puff up his chest. “Yes,” he said. “Would you like to come watch?” “Yes!” Rain exclaimed, then turned around to look at Phayu. “May I go Phi?” he asked, vibrating with excitement. Phayu laughed and nodded. “Go ahead sweet boy. But you stay safe, okay? If you feel uncomfortable at any point, you come to me or you inform any of the guards around you,” Phayu said sternly. Rain immediately nodded his head fervently. “Don’t worry Nong, I will put one of the guards specifically with Nong Rain,” Chai spoke up. Phayu smiled gratefully.

Pai had always been an excellent racer, unbeatable on the track. But the fact that he was being watched by the current lover of an ex gave him an adrenaline rush like nothing else. He was prepared for any number of outcomes when he won, but he definitely had not been prepared for a whirlwind hurtling into his arms and hugging him, jumping in joy, screaming happily about his P’Pai winning. Pai felt himself harden and shocked out of his mind, he stepped backwards. A small, almost infinitesimal step, but he saw how Rain’s face immediately fell. Rain stepped back as well, visibly and the moment was forgotten. Well.. not forgotten, but definitely suppressed in the deepest, darkest corner of his mind, never to be brought out.

“Next time, I am going to drag Sky to the races too,” Rain said, as he slipped into Phayu’s lap at the breakfast table next morning. “You do realise that there is a perfectly good seat right there?” Saifah said, rolling his eyes. Pai looked on, a little irritated, a little infatuated, and a lot jealous. He wanted what Phayu had. He wanted Phayu, and he wanted Rain. There was a fire burning in his heart, as he watched Phayu and Rain feed each other. He watched them smile at each other with perfect happiness and pleasure and hated it. Phayu was his first, wasn’t he? And wasn’t he the first to see Rain as well? Why was it that he was the one who had to settle being the third wheel between the two of them?

He was jolted out of his thoughts when the bell rang. “Who could it be on a Saturday, this early in the morning?” Saifah asked, looking around. “I will get it,” Pai said, wanting to get away from the lovey-dovey scenes in front of him. He opened the door, just to be struck dumb. The man in front of him was breathtaking, in a weirdly ‘Phayu’ kind of way. He gave out a similar Alpha kind of vibe, but was more subdued and delicate. His jet black hair was a perfect set off to his pale skin, and his eyes were sparkling with all the secrets of the world, that made Pai want to just dive into them. He sighed. He was being stupid because obviously, he was not getting laid. “Sky!” Rain’s shout behind him jerked him out of his stupor. He watched as Rain bounced towards the door, clearly extremely welcoming, as the other boy’s face softened with an indulgent smile. So this was Rain’s Sky. Well, at least the stay over had some benefits.

He had no idea what had happened, or how it had happened, but he slowly fell under Sky’s spell. At first, the boy was not very welcoming of Pai’s advances, but steadily, like water on rock, Pai managed to smoothen out Sky’s rough edges. He always felt Rain had a huge hand in helping him, and he could not be more grateful. If however, moments when he thought of being in Phayu’s strong arms, or needing Rain to jump in his arms the way he had done after that very first race, cropped up in his head.. well, those were his thoughts, and thinking or dreaming did not need permission.

Then Rain went to Korea at the end of Rain and Sky’s first year. What happened that one rainy night became a heavy burden to bear. Yes, they were drunk. But that did not excuse their behaviour. Pai was ready to fall at Rain’s feet and beg for forgiveness. He could have stopped it, and that guilt ate at him like a parasite. But then Ran came to meet him. What followed.. It was something that Pai had imagined, in the darkest recesses of his mind, his desperate hunger for Rain that even went over and above his need for Phayu and Sky. Where and how had he hidden it? When he had undressed that lithe, flexible body. When Rain had bowed to his touch. When he had stroked the fire that had lain dormant inside him, Pai knew, in that moment, that letting go of this boy, it would never be possible.

And then they had become four. Rain had been relentless in getting them together, a force to reckon with. He had drawn up a contract that could put anyone to shame. He had pushed and pulled, coaxed and cajoled and finally, they had become one unit. He was instrumental in being the one who kept all lines of communication open. Both the younger boys were starting their third year now, and things were getting harder . But Rain wouldn’t give up. He beat Phayu at managing time, ensuring that everyone got their special moments individually, and as a group. That’s why, to celebrate their first anniversary as a polycule, Phayu, Pai and Sky had put their heads together and decided to give Rain a huge surprise. To say they were nervous, would be an understatement, but only the base was laid. The final decision would obviously be Rain’s.

Plus, it was Rain’s birthday soon. Now that final exams were almost over, Phayu had decided to get all the families together. It was a joint decision, because all of them felt that it was time to let their loved ones know that they were all together. Pai knew that his parents could not care less. They were just happy that he seemed to have settled down. And to be honest, why wouldn’t he? He had everything he ever wanted or needed right next to him. How many people in the world could boast of that? People aspired to have one successful relationship, he had three. And while all of them knew it was thanks to their baby bunny, he could be grateful for that too.

Rain’s birth day dawned bright and sunny. Rain had insisted they spend the night together, so Pai woke up to the three most beautiful faces in the world to him. Phayu had recently cut his hair(much to Rain’s annoyance), so it softly framed his face, making him look much younger than his 27 years. Sky slept facing Rain, his back snuggled into Pai’s chest, as Rain’s was into Phayu’s. Sky had gone a soft lavender, much to all their delight. Rain had picked that for him, while Rain himself had gone a delicate blond, making him look paler than he already was. Pai extricated himself from the dogpile that was his boyfriends. While he was not the best cook, he could manage a decent breakfast for sure. Rain was the best cook among them, followed closely by Phayu. Sky couldn’t cook to save his life, but he was always the most well fed in the group with three boyfriends who indulged his every whim, so he was spoilt for choice.

Rain was the first to come traipsing down, pouting with hunger and excitement, earning himself a sniff kiss and hug. Phayu and Sky came down next, looking none too happy, but no one would say anything, since it was their beloved’s birthday. Both Phayu and Pai had taken the day off, since they had planned a short trip. It was Sky who urged Rain to get ready quick (Rain was a champion dawdler and hated mornings with a vengeance!). Soon they were off and after a while, Sky, who was in the backseat with Rain, told him that they needed to blindfold him for this last leg of the journey. “Is this some new weird kink you guys are developing?” Rain asked, and all three of them burst into laughter. Only Rain could think up stuff like this. Soon they were there. Phayu carried Rain, bridal style and he and Sky followed. “Okay Rain, are you ready teerak?” Sky asked. Rain nodded happily.

Pai watched in amusement as Rain gasped as he twirled around. Pai had found this piece of land. Phayu and Sky had taken one look at it and fallen in love. They had so many plans in their head. Pai had put down a respectable deposit on it, hoping that when Rain finally saw it, he would love it as much as they had done. They wanted to have their own house; a house for all four of them; not individual, not family, not as couples; as a whole group. And Pai knew that while he could pay for everything, his boyfriends would never agree to it. So they also had to find a solution wherein all of them would be satisfied. Pai was thrilled to see Rain’s expression at the property, knowing that Phayu and Sky would be just as mesmerised at how beautiful Rain looked in that moment, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears, his smile going from ear to ear.

“Did you like it bunny?” Pai asked, stepping forward. “What.. what is this for?” Rain whispered, his voice awestruck. “For our own home teerak,” Sky said. “My sweet boy, happy birthday! This can be ours, if you want it to be,” Phayu said, holding his arms open. Rain hurtled into them, tears finally pouring down his cheeks. “I love it Phi! I love it!” he said, as he made little grabby hands towards Pai and Sky too, who had absolutely no resistance when it came to their baby. Pai’s heart was overflowing with joy as they all swayed into the hug. When they got back, Saifah had made all the arrangements for the party, and their families would come anytime. They had deliberately decided on a family only day, since this was a big thing they were planning to confess, and they didn’t want to be judged by outsiders unless they were sure of their families’ reactions.

“I am nervous my Sky,” Pai said, as he banded his arm around Sky. An year ago, Sky would have pushed him away and stepped out. It was a testament to how far he had come that he did neither. And for that, Pai had to thank Rain. “We have each other Phi. No matter what anyone says, we always will. And that is something that will never change. If they do not like it, and choose to stay away from us, I would say it’s their loss than ours,” Sky said, sounding wiser than his years as he hugged Pai back. Pai would have been surprised to know that a similar conversation was taking place in the room where Phayu and Rain were getting dressed.

After all the main celebrations, everyone settled down to relax. Pai watched as Phayu laid a hand on Rain’s bouncing leg, knowing Rain was nervous. He knew how that felt, because he was himself being grounded by Sky’s hand on the small of his back. “There is something we need to tell you all,” Phayu began, then drew in a deep breath. “As you all know, Rain and I have been together since almost 2 years, Pai and Sky since one and a half. But.. actually..” Seeing his normally suave boyfriend unable to form proper sentences made Pai even more nervous. “Actually you guys, we four are together; as in together, together. Like, we are not just two couples, but all of us together,” Rain said. Pai was not sure if anyone understood that, but he was damn proud of Rain to have articulated that much at least.

Everyone looked at them. Pai was about to speak, afraid of extreme reactions, when all their family members started clapping. “That’s awesome. You guys will never get bored,” Phan said, laughing. “Are you guys not angry?” Sky asked, in a small voice. “My lovely babies. We love all of you, individually, and together. As long as you are happy, that enough for us,” Rain’s mom said. “Plus, you will get enough backlash from the society. We can only hope to be able to support you. You don’t need judgemental talks from us piled on like a burden on you,” Phayu’s Phaw said. “Also, you guys. Have you seen you? You guys have looked floaty and happily in love since the past one year. Did you really think we wouldn’t know?” Pai heard his own Dad speak and could feel himself break down. He was immediately surrounded by his men; his loves, his boyfriends, three people who meant the world to him.

“Thank you, thank you all guys! Thank you,” he whispered brokenly, as his world tilted back. After everyone had left, Pai looked on as Rain walked to the front of the room. “It’s been an year since we became 4, since you guys fulfilled my possibility of four. For that, I will ever be grateful. I want to thank all three of you for trusting me and taking this step with me. I could have dreamt all I wanted, but you turned my dreams into reality. And now, I can’t imagine life without you guys. I love all three of you, and I can’t wait to build my forever with you all,” he said. Pai teared up, sure that Phayu and Sky were in no better condition. “Well, you are the only reason we are here Rain, because you light up our world like nobody else,” he said, getting up and pulling Rain into a hug, as he felt Phayu’s and Sky’s arms go around both of them. Rain’s dream of a possibility had truly become their most beautiful reality!

Notes:

Title is a play on the words from the lyrics of the song What makes you beautiful by One Direction

Kudos and comments will be appreciated.

Series this work belongs to: