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n̄uha nehure prūmia (my bleeding heart)

Chapter 2: chapter two: the feast

Summary:

Lucerys came to a halt right in front of Aemond and extended his hand. Aemond took a deep breath, counted to three and took Lucerys’ hand.

The boy had a firm but not tight grip. To his own embarrassment Aemond practically clung to the arm as if it was a lifeline. They were the centre of attention. Aemond didn’t like being the centre of attention. His gaze darted over the crowd to be met with very unkind smiles. Some people were giggling and whispering to each other.

Aemond sank his fingernails into Lucerys’ arm.

“Hey” he heard a whisper and his head whipped around to stare at the bastard “Do not look at them. Just focus on me.”

~•~

A dance and a conversation with Lucerys Velaryon get quite heated for Aemond. Especially when someone else decides to ask him for a dance.

Notes:

“I DoN’T plAn On mAKinG tHe ChaPtERs tOo lONg” and now this chapter is at 4k when I only wanted it 2k long… and I feel like it’s actually too short because the pacing’s a little off…

But thank you all for your wonderful comments on the last chapter! They were a great motivation for writing this chapter!

So, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Things are getting a little heated…👀

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Aemond was seething. Even in the comfort of the bath he could not will his body to relax. This was just absolutely horrible.

 

He knew that the feast would start in under an hour and he had to get out of the bath but he simply could not bear to start this fucking thing.

 

All eyes would be on him, the Queen of Love and Beauty. He could picture the mocking glances that would be cast his way, the hushed laughter. His shame on display for all to see. Lucerys was truly cruel for this. Aemond already dreaded the dance they would need to do. Would Lucerys mock him outright to his face, when all were watching but no one could hear? Well Aemond would certainly not back down if it would come to that.

 

Mayhaps he would ask Helaena for one of her bugs, a poisonous one.

 

“Aemond?” his mother’s voice echoed through the room from behind the paravent.

 

Cursing silently Aemond knew that there was no delaying his humiliation. He grabbed the robe put beside the bath and exited the comforting warmth of the water.

 

“Yes, mother” he said and walked into the main part of his room.

 

She had brought reinforcements. Normally Aemond didn’t allow anyone else to style his hair and clothe him. He was very adamant about that. He simply couldn’t bear the pitying look on the faces of the maids whilst they were trying their best to make him look pretty despite the scar. It never worked anyway, so what use in having to endure it.

 

But today he knew that he could not escape it.

 

“Well then” he said through gritted teeth before sitting down at his dresser.

 

In the mirror he could see his mother smile at him. She could always count on him when it came to doing his duty without complain. He just wished it would actually earn him her time and affection, but she was way too busy with trying to control Aegon and coddling Helaena. He was usually left to his own devices, for she knew that he wouldn’t act out. Aemond had learned to appreciate the small freedoms this granted him.

 

But tonight he would not get to have this freedom of no one seeing him. Tonight he would be the centre of attention. And that meant his mother would have a tight grip on all of his doings.

 

Swiftly the maids began their work. They moved to do his hair first, undoubtedly hoping to make it look beautiful enough to draw the attention away from his eye.

 

Behind him he heard his mother discussing style and jewellery with the maids. Of course she didn’t ask him what he wanted, she knew he would just go along with whatever she wanted. Sometimes Aemond hated himself for it.

 

“And mayhaps drape the hair so it hides his… eye” his mother said. Aemond clenched his fists in his lap and bit down on the inside of his cheek. This proved to be a mistake, for he had already done that during the tourney and now the flesh was so tender that blood poured into his mouth. He swallowed it without a thought. Aemond added this wound to all the others inflicted on him by Lucerys Velaryon, starting small with the prick on his finger today unto his missing eye.

 

He tried to let his mind float away from the maids around him but of course his mother didn’t let him.

 

“Aemond, my dear” she said standing behind him but looking firmly at him through the mirror “I know you do not have a lot of practice when it comes to dancing but I hope the lessons from your youth have stuck well enough.”

 

‘Not a lot of practice’ was her polite way of saying that no one had ever asked Aemond to dance at any sort of festivity.

 

“And dearest, I know dancing with Lucerys Velaryon will not be… pleasant but you should focus on the opportunities that this attention on you shall bring. Mayhaps someone else may ask for a dance from you.”

 

Aemond knew that calling his own mother delusional would be considered very rude, which is why he stayed silent.

 

“And please do not speak about books or sword fighting” his mother continued “Alphas are usually not very attracted to omegas who enjoy topics like that.”

 

So he was supposed to play dumb. Great.

 

“Is this what this is supposed to do?” Aemond said before he could bite his tongue “Attract an alpha?”

 

“Everything an omega is supposed to be doing should be to attract an alpha” his mother said through gritted teeth.

 

Then she sighed and put a hand on his shoulder “Aemond, I understand that this is not something you enjoy but… we are currently in a precarious situation. Rhaenyra’ brood is trying their best to put your siblings virtue into question.”

 

Aemond furrowed his eyebrows. What?

 

Rubbing her temple his mother explained “That Jacaerys boy has sent Aegon some gifts before his arrival and then openly asked for his favour and the Princess Baela has visited Helaena in her chambers unsupervised and also openly asked for her favour, I have no doubt that she has inherited her fathers… appetence.”

 

His mother was talking herself into a tirade.

 

“And I have no doubt that Lucerys Velaryon” she said the name like it was the vilest of insults “Is trying to make you look like a fool.”

 

Well, he’s succeeding, Aemond thought bitterly.

 

His mother sighed again before saying “Please, bear this with dignity. I know you are strong enough but your siblings are not. When it comes to… temptation your brother is weak and your sister naive. But I know I can rely on you.”

 

Of course you can, Aemond thought, It’s not like I can do anything else.

 

The rest of the careful styling Aemond simply blocked out. He didn’t even remember putting on his dress, moving entirely by default.

 

That was until he was out in front of the big mirror he usually covered with something as not to have to look at himself. The dress was green of course but delicately embroidered and embedded with diamonds. And when he looked up he was surprised to see that the way the maids had braided his hair it was just enough to mostly hide his eye. They had applied makeup to make the scar look softer and rouge to draw attention away and to his lips instead.

 

Aemond almost, almost felt pretty.

 

Next to him his mother smiled proudly.

 

“I am sure” she said “that after today we can expect a marriage proposal.”

 

Aemond’s heart sank. Aegon and Helaena had gotten offers from all over the kingdoms and even some from beyond the Narrow Sea. He knew his mother and grandfather were currently picking out which ones would be the most lucrative choice, not that Aegon and Helaena knew about it.

 

But Aemond hadn’t gotten a single one. Well, not one worthy of his status as a prince. Some smaller Lords from the North hat written for his hand, the state of his face apparently not having reached them and their standing too poorly to be worthy of a Prince. But if no one else asked for his hand what was he supposed to do? Would he be whisked away to some forgotten spot in the North to bear the children of some old and poor Lord?

 

Suddenly Aemond realised why his mother was making such a fuss. This attention on him could either turn into a mockery or be the day he finally caught someone’s eye. Mayhaps even someone who lived here in King’s Landing so he wouldn’t need to leave.

 

Straightening his posture Aemond tried to be brave. A husband. Maybe even children. If he played his cards right his dreams might just come true.

 

~•~

 

From his place at the royal table Aemond was able to observe most of the hall. He was seated between his brother and sister, undoubtedly to supervise them. Aemond wondered when exactly in his life he had turned from the youngest child to their fucking watchdog.

 

Who he could not see were Lucerys and the rest of Rhaenyra’s brood. They were seated at the other end of the table, to King Viserys’ right. Rhaenyra of course was seated directly next to their father. None of Viserys’ other children had ever had that privilege.

 

Aemond just hoped this affair would be over swiftly so he could get back to his rooms. But he had to try and impress at least one Lord first.

 

After the of course excellent meal the tables were mostly cleared. Aemond had to put the wine out of Aegon’s reach.

 

The King stood up, undoubtedly to praise Rhaenyra and her children and entirely forgetting about Aemond and his siblings.

 

“I would all present to raise their cups to Lucerys Velaryon, Heir to the Tides! Today he has shown great skill in the tourney and proven himself worthy of his future Lordship!”

 

The hall erupted into cheers. Aemond simply pretended to take a sip of his cup.

 

“And to my son, Aemond Targaryen” Aemond was glad he hadn’t actually taken a sip from his cup for he would have very unceremoniously spit out now “Crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty!”

 

Aemond made the mistake to look at the people gathered in the hall. Well, at least they were trying to hide their laughter, even if they weren’t successful.

 

Oh, how he had dreamed of his father praising him in front of them all, for his swordsmanship or his wit. But of course the one time the King even so much put his name in is mouth it had to be a veiled insult.

 

It seemed like anything Aemond could wish for he received, but as a mockery. A mockery of the Queen of Love and Beauty and a mockery of his father’s praise for Aemond himself was a mockery.

 

He knew that he couldn’t simply start crying in front of everyone and ever since his eye had been taken he never had again but right now he was getting pretty damn close.

 

But he wouldn’t grant them the pleasure of seeing how their insults affected him. Aemond had to endure if he wanted this evening to mayhaps bear fruit in form of a proposal. Maybe he could present himself to an older Lord, someone whose eyesight wasn’t the best anymore. A husband could shield him from the mockery. And children would be really nice.

 

So when he saw Lucerys Velaryon stand up from the corner of his good eye he simply grabbed Aegon’s cup, which was a lot fuller than his own and downed the thing in one fell swoop.

 

Aegon let out a small whistle “What exactly do you intend to do with little Luke that requires liquid courage?”

 

Aemond simply gritted his teeth as he watched Lucerys strut over. The brown, very not-valyrian curls of the bastard bounced with every step. His stupid, warm eyes were practically sparkling. And his stature was comparable to his true fathers. Every omega in the hall seemed to be swooning. How Aemond hated him.

 

Lucerys came to a halt right in front of Aemond and extended his hand. Aemond took a deep breath, counted to three and took Lucerys’ hand.

 

The boy had a firm but not tight grip. To his own embarrassment Aemond practically clung to the arm as if it was a lifeline. They were the centre of attention. Aemond didn’t like being the centre of attention. His gaze darted over the crowd to be met with very unkind smiles. Some people were giggling and whispering to each other.

 

Aemond sank his fingernails into Lucerys’ arm.

 

“Hey” he heard a whisper and his head whipped around to stare at the bastard “Do not look at them. Just focus on me.”

 

He did. He focused on the freckles on Lucerys’ nose, on his unfairly long lashes and the warmth of those brown eyes.

 

Aemond focused on his nephew so much that he didn’t hear the music begin and startled when Lucerys made the first step of their dance. But it seemed like Lucerys had anticipated that and simply guided Aemond in his movements.

 

It was surprisingly simple to just let himself be lead wherever.

 

“That dress truly suits you, qȳbor” Lucerys said and without warning Aemond felt his rage return.

 

“If we already need to do this” Aemond said through gritted teeth, not able to look at the bastard a second longer “Then at least allow me the dignity of doing this in silence.”

 

There was a beat of silence before Lucerys asked “Have I offended you, qȳbor?” The bastard had the nerve to actually sound concerned.

 

“Offended?” Aemond spat out as quietly as possible as to not draw any attention to their conversation “You have humiliated me in front of the entire court!“

 

Lucerys sent him a dumbfounded look. Aemond wavered in his rage. The stupid boy seemed genuinely confused.

 

“Qȳbor“ Lucerys said slowly whilst he spun Aemond around „I asked for your favour. I crowned you Queen of Love and Beauty. I am unsure where in this line of my courting you I misstepped.“

 

“In your line of- what?!“ Aemond was having even more trouble keeping up with the dance. What the fuck was the boy saying?

 

“But of course I wish to apologise for anything that I have done that may have been perceived the wrong way, if you would perhaps tell me what-“

 

“So this was not to humiliate me?” Aemond asked, now the dumbfounded one.

 

Lucerys stared at him, still confused.

 

Aemond took a deep breath. Did the bastard not have any idea of the ongoings at court in the last years of his absence?

 

“I am an omega with half his face butchered! Naming me Queen of Love and Beauty was a mockery! They are already making fun of me and now they will-“

 

“Who is making fun of you?” the tone in Lucerys’ voice made Aemond halt in his tirade. His nephew’s voice sounded strained, anger bubbling right beneath the surface of the charade they were keeping up.

 

“Well…” Aemond stuttered, taken aback by Lucerys’ reaction “Everyone. I am the laughingstock of the court. You of all people should know that.”

 

“You- you think I’m making fun of you?” Lucerys asked, seeming genuinely distraught at the notion.

 

Aemond was having trouble finding his footing, both in their conversation and their dance. Did the boy truly not know about the way Aemond was being ridiculed because of what he had done to him?

 

“Gods, Aemond, no!” Lucerys tried to assure him “My intentions towards you are entirely genuine! I wish to rekindle our friendship and court you, if you would allow me, that is.”

 

Aemond could only stare at his nephew, the one who had brought him so much pain and years of torment.

 

“I do not understand how anyone would laugh at you. You are intelligent and witty, a formidable dragon rider, you always beat me at sword fighting when we were children and you are beautiful an-“

 

“Beautiful?” Aemond snorted with laughter, uncaring for his lack of manners “You butchered my face!”

 

Lucerys sent him a look full of concern “Do you truly think a little scar and missing eye make you ugly?”

 

“Of course it does!” Aemond said, his anger returning “What alpha would take me as their mate like this?”

 

I would!” Lucerys answered and Aemond realised that they had unintentionally raised their voices “I do! I will if you let me!”

 

“What? Out of pity?” Aemond asked as he felt his fury shimmer beneath his skin like dragonfire.

 

“Wh-what? No! Aemond-“ but Lucerys was interrupted.

 

“Might I ask for a dance, my Prince?” Tyland Lannister, the younger twin brother of the Lord of Casterly Rock and the Master of Ships on the Small Council extended his hand towards Aemond.

 

Not even questioning this very sudden turn of events Aemond reached out to the man before Lucerys could say anything.

 

“I would be honoured, Ser Tyland!” Aemond said, wrenching himself out of Lucerys’ grip.

 

“Wait! Qȳbor!” Lucerys tried to stop the two but Ser Tyland was quicker and whisked Aemond away.

 

Aemond hadn’t even realised whilst dancing with Lucerys that other couples had taken to the floor. He had been so focused on his nephew that the world had seemingly faded away.

 

“I hope the Prince Lucerys has not overstepped any boundaries of etiquette, my Prince?” Ser Tyland asked and startled Aemond who was so engrossed by his interaction with Lucerys that he had almost forgotten the man.

 

“No, of course not” he half-heartedly assured him.

 

“The young Prince is quite the… jester if you ask me” Ser Tyland said and Aemond looked at him properly for the first time. He was an alpha, a handsome one at that. Surely, he was old enough to be Aemond’s father, but he was still unmarried and without children. Why had he asked Aemond for a dance then? Had he pitied him and simply tried to save him from Lucerys?

 

“Yes” Aemond said, still confused about Ser Tyland’s doings “Prince Lucerys has always been of the frivolous sort.”

 

That was certainly true. And it made Aemond wonder wether the things Lucerys had said were only part of an elaborate prank. That his nephew wanted to court him was certainly absurd. And him praising Aemond, had that all been a veiled attempt at further ridicule? Aemond was unsure.

 

“Well, I believe that when one looks for a mate one should certainly make sure to pick someone reputable. Frivolousness is a notion one should leave behind when one comes of age.”

 

Aemond didn’t know what to say to that or of Ser Tyland even actually wanted a response so he simply nodded, trying his best to follow the steps of their dance. Aemond wondered if Lucerys had already moved on to the next unassuming omega. Would he play a prank on them too or was it only Aemond he sought to torment?

 

“Honour and duty are virtues to uphold, especially by omegas” Ser Tyland continued with his sermon of propriety. What did the man try to achieve with this conversation? At least during his conversation with Lucerys Aemond had been able to say whatever he wanted to. He didn’t need to keep his manners around the stupid boy, Lucerys wasn’t someone he needed to try to impress.

 

“It is something I am looking for in an omega, as I am currently seeking to be wed.”

 

Aemond nodded and said “Those are certainly the appropriate virtues to look for in future mate.”

 

“And what about you, Prince Aemond?”

 

“What about me?” Aemond asked, confused by the question.

 

“Are you an omega who upholds honour and duty?”

 

The question made Aemond stop in his tracks. Was Ser Tyland intending to… ask for his hand?

 

“I- I am” Aemond said and frantically tried to remember what his mother had said when it came to impressing an alpha in conversation. No books, no sword fighting. Only a simple omega. “I always seek to act in the Light of the Seven and my duty to my family is of the utmost importance to me, especially when it comes to my future Lord husband.”

 

Aemond screwed up his face on the inside. That had been a little much.

 

But Ser Tyland seemed pleased with his answer and smiled. Then he stopped their dance with the end of the song.

 

Like a true gentleman he raised Aemond’s hand to his lips.

 

“I do hope to see more of you in the following days, my Prince. Mayhaps a stroll through the gardens?”

 

“I would be honoured, Ser Tyland.” Aemond answered and the alpha left with a last nod and a smile.

 

Aemond felt as giddy as he had when he had claimed Vhagar. Ser Tyland Lannister was an alpha of high reputation, with a seat on the small council and from a good family with good money. If Aemond truly managed to marry him he himself would be of good reputation, almost untouchable.

 

Sure, Ser Tyland was only a second son without a proper inheritance, but that only meant that they would stay in King’s Landing, where Aemond could be close to his mother and siblings. The thought dampened his mood a little. Escaping King’s Landing and his family was something he rarely thought of. It was a thing entirely out of reach for him.

 

But at least Aemond would have children. Ser Tyland was young and not unattractive. So conceiving children shouldn’t be too difficult.

 

For the first time in years Aemond felt hope at the thought of his future.

 

“Aemond!”

 

Oh fuck no. Lucerys was approaching him again.

 

Quickly Aemond turned the other way and tried to get to one of his spots in the shadows where he usually stayed during festivities.

 

But Lucerys was catching up with him.

 

“Aemond! Please! I swear I did not mean to offend you!” the bastard dared to practically beg.

 

Still riding the high that had been his conversation with Ser Tyland Aemond spun around and angrily faced Lucerys “Well, you have offended me! And I do not wish to be ridiculed any longer! So I would like to ask you to muster up any of the manners you seem to be lacking and leave me alone!”

 

“Oh, but Tyland Lannister can just grab you and drag you wherever he wants and it is no offence?” Lucerys asked as heatedly as Aemond.

 

“Ser Tyland is a true gentleman who values honour and duty and…” Aemond tried to find something else that he liked about Ser Tylands character “… and he is of sincere character!”

 

Lucerys dared to snort at that “What? So he wants your dowry sincerely?”

 

Aemond was about to start another tirade when he stopped dead in his tracks. “What dowry?”

 

Lucerys just stared at him as if he had grown an additional eye on his forehead as replacement for the one he took.

 

“What dowry?” he asked the boys again, irritated by the statement. Sure he knew that he had a dowry, every omega, noble or not, had a dowry. So why had Lucerys felt the need to mention it now.

 

“Aemond” Lucerys said slowly “Everyone is talking about it. How do you not know?”

 

“Know what?” Aemond asked angrily.

 

Lucerys paled. “She did not tell you.”

 

“I swear” Aemond huffed “If you do not tell me what we are talking about I will… leave.”

 

It had been the only threat that had come to Aemond’s mind but it seemed to work.

 

“Your mother, the Queen” Lucerys began softly, as if he wanted to spare Aemond’s feelings “Has declared your dowry. Its amount has increased.”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“How much?” Aemond asked, his voice stricken with the realisation that was setting in.

 

Lucerys stared at him concerned before naming the amount.

 

Aemond felt as if the floor had been swept from underneath his feet. That was the highest amount for a dowry he had ever heard of. It was a tremendous amount of coin.

 

So that was why his mother had been so sure about the possibility of a proposal, why Ser Tyland Lannister, a second son without his own inheritance had danced with him.

 

Because finally his dowry was high enough to overlook his face.

 

Aemond felt numb. He heard Lucerys call his name but his body moved of its own accord, out of the hall, away from the festivities.

 

Only when he reached his chambers he took in his heavy breathing and pounding heart. He had ran the whole way.

 

Aemond entered his rooms and slammed the door shut, locking it.

 

He didn’t even make it to his bed, he simply sunk to the floor, his body shaking with the force of his sobs.

 

Finding the strength to look up he caught his reflection in his mirror. His hair was a mess from the running, his one eye red and the pretty make up smeared across his face. Aemond continued sobbing harder.

 

 

Notes:

the DRAMA

yeah I dunno, making omega Aemond suffer has become a bit of a concerning hobby of mine… the poor thing can’t catch a break🥲

I’m not entirely sure when the next chapter will be out, but writing this fic has been surprisingly easy so not to worry! And if I stick to my plan there will be a little smut in the next chapter👀

Let me know what you think about this chapter in the comments! I am always open for constructive criticism!

Notes:

omega Aemond has my heart. The terror, the anguish of being deemed undesirable by no one but the one who inflicted this upon you.

I have an outline for this and I just hope I’ll stick to it and finish it. But this idea has really festered in my brain so there’s a very good chance for that!

As always I’d be very happy if you leave a comment, they are a great motivation! And if you want to read more of my stuff you can also find me on twitter as @leiabird_