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He had sent Nardole out for chips, but really he could care less about the food. He didn’t think he could keep it down now anyway. The Doctor slammed the TARDIS door shut after Nardole was out of earshot and locked it before ripping off his sunglasses and throwing them to god-knows-where.
He hated being perceived as blind by his assistant. The Doctor could function just fine without him - his sonic sunglasses giving him something like echolocation, but it gave him such a headache and he felt the need to be away from Nardole before taking them off. He didn’t want him to make a fuss. With one finger absently running along the wall, he walked a wide circle around the TARDIS consul. Even without the sunglasses, he didn’t need to feel to navigate, it was more so the need to feel grounded. To make sure he wasn’t drifting in space.
He pressed his back to the wall and slid down, grumbling as he did so. Even with his glasses off the headache hadn’t subsided. He raised his knees and buried his head in them, squeezing his eyes shut as if it would make him smaller. He wrapped his arms around his long legs and hugged himself tightly. His head was still throbbing, but there was a new sensation, a soothing haze urging him to just let go and stop pretending to be big. He knows this feeling, felt it before in previous bodies but never in this one. He’d had meltdowns, screamed and cried and thrown things, but never this. He was scared to regress alone, but he’d always done it that way. Never been sure how to bring it up with his companions. He supposed maybe that was why he’d sent Nardole away. He couldn’t think.
The wall was cool against his back, further lulling him into the fuzzy feeling. He felt small and vulnerable and he wanted more than anything to be cared for. Logic told him he couldn’t let Bill see him like this but he wanted her comfort desperately. His eyes burned with the need to cry but his damaged tear ducts wouldn’t let him. He felt upset and confused and so, so frustrated. This only added to his need to cry. His legs moved of their own accord, sitting him in a criss-cross position allowing him to take out his anger on his thigh. As The Doctor slammed his left fist onto his leg, his other hand moved to his mouth. He gnawed on his thumb, sobbing dryly around it.
He had fully regressed by now and it made him feel a bit calmer. His sobs calmed down, and he stopped chewing his thumb, though it stayed in his mouth for him to suck on. The Doctor inhaled heavily and focused on sucking his thumb and staying calm. He wished he had a pacifier but he knew his big self was far too proud to admit he needed it. He sniffled and rocked back and forth a bit, his heart rate lowering.
Just then, the TARDIS doors swung open. With his sonic sunglasses far away on the floor, he didn’t know who it was. He shrunk into himself, trying to disappear to save himself the embarrassment.
He heard Bill’s voice, far too loud for his liking, “Doctor! What are you doing in here, you’re supposed to be-“
She cut herself off, staring at the time lord curled up against the wall and sucking his thumb. He looked a mess, useless eyes facing downwards in shame. He’d forgotten he’d given her a key.
“Doctor? Are you alright down there? Did… Did you get hurt or something?” Bill asked cautiously. She’d never seen him like this, all quiet.
He didn’t respond, just lifted his head to face in her general direction. Even with his damaged, pupil-less eyes, Bill got the feeling he was pleading with her, though for what she didn’t know.
“Do you want me to sit next to you?” She asked. The Doctor nodded. She walked towards him and lowered herself near him, making sure to keep some distance in case he didn’t want to be touched.
The Doctor threw himself onto his companion the second she sat down with him. His shame and timidness had gone, replaced with the need to be comforted. He cried dryly into her shoulder as she hesitantly wrapped her arms against his shaking body, rubbing his back as he sobbed.
After a while of crying, Bill pulled away and looked into The Doctor’s widened eyes. His face seemed different somehow, less rough around the edges. He looked almost younger.
“Doctor, please tell me what’s going on. I’m worried.” She pleaded.
He looked down again, trying to find the words. Words were so hard when he was little. He stuck his thumb back in his mouth, sucking lightly as he tried to think of what to say.
“My head hurt,” he said eventually.
“Your head hurts? But, I mean, you were sucking on your thumb and crying and stuff. That doesn’t seem like just a headache,” Bill said, trying not to sound rude. She didn’t want to upset The Doctor further, since he was obviously a little more sensitive than usual in this… state, but she needed to know what was going on. She cringed a little as he frowned at her words.
“I, um…” he trailed off. “Small. Feel small. Dunno,” he said eventually. Distantly, he was scared of her reaction. He knew it was weird and might scare her off, but at the moment he didn’t care. He sighed and leaned back into her body, head cradled on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms back around him.
“You feel small? Like, you feel like a kid?” Bill asked confusedly. He nodded into her shoulder. “Has this happened before?” He shrugged.
“Sometimes. Everythin’s too much ‘n then I feel little,” he mumbled. Bill nodded in understanding. She didn’t entirely know what he meant, but she knew she had to take care of her friend, especially if he seemingly had the mindset of a child right now.
She noticed he was nibbling on her shirt now. She found it strangely endearing. “Well, you seem tired. Do you want to go to bed?” He nodded.
The Doctor whined as Bill started to stand up. She laughed and held his hand, guiding him up. He stood like a baby deer, legs wobbly, hand never leaving Bill’s. The Doctor leaned against her ever so slightly as she lead him towards his room in the TARDIS. She’d been there a few times before, mostly to bother him when she was bored.
When they reached The Doctor’s bedroom, she gently brought him to the bed in the corner. Bill sat on the edge of the bed, still holding The Doctor’s hand expecting him to sit down beside her. Instead, he let go and sank to the floor on his knees, hands feeling around under the bed until he pulled out a small box of plushies. He rummaged around in the box until he found what he was looking for, a small stuffed Miffy bunny that he hugged to his chest. He grinned happily and crawled into the bed next to Bill, curling up in a fetal position with his head on the pillow, thumb back in his mouth.
“Is that your bunny?” Bill smiled.
“Mhm. Miffy,” The Doctor mumbled sleepily as he nuzzled his head between the plushie’s ears. He sighed contentedly as Bill began to stroke his hair. Bill smiled as he finally fell asleep. She still didn’t fully understand what The Doctor was going through, and she knew she’d need to talk to him about it once he returned to his normal self, but right now she had a little Doctor curdled up in bed and she knew it was her responsibility to care for him. Plus, he was just so cute in this state.