Chapter Text
—Serizawa pov—
I tuck Reigens hair away from his face. He frowns in his sleep, shifting and clutching his pillow. I’ve tried waking him, either by just being loud or by exorcising whatever’s possessing him. Either way, it doesn’t work. He shows no sign of waking up. I can’t comprehend what they possibly could’ve done to do this to him. Did they have another esper that specialized in spirits? But even so, that should mean I should be able to exorcise him.
I can’t help myself. I run a hand through Reigens hair. It’s smooth and thick, only a few snags here and there. I miss him already.
One moment he was awake and alive, and now he’s…well he’s not dead. He’s just asleep. But with the way things are going. Will he ever wake up?
No, I can't think negatively like that. Of course he will. I’ll do whatever I can to wake him up. I wipe my face of tears I hadn’t realized started falling. I clutch Reigens hand and squeeze it.
“Please wake up” I kiss his knuckles “I need you, we need you” his face relaxes minutely, but still not enough. Could he be having a nightmare? Is that why he looks so pained. That sounds awful, a nightmare he can’t wake up from. I wish I could wake him up, or that I could comfort him in any way. Maybe I can. Reigen’s always loved cuddles, when we had the time to cuddle at least. And in the times I’ve stayed over, he’s always seemed a bit more at ease with my arms around him. Maybe it could work to ease his nightmare.
I shrug off my suit jacket and lay it on the nearby chair. I slide off my tie as well. Lifting up the blanket I slide in behind Reigen, wrapping my arms around him. I can only hope this helps in some way. In any way at all.
“I love you, Arataka”
—Reigen pov—
I shoot up in my bed.
Am I hearing things?
I search my surroundings. There’s no one, only me. I must be hearing things. There’s no way he’d say he loves me after what he said today. There’s just no way. My brain’s just making stuff up to make me feel better. But it’s not true. He never loved me at all. Those words are lies.
Then why do I feel so warm.
It’s like someones holding me. When was the last time someone held me. I can’t remember. Was it Serizawa. No, can’t be, he wouldn’t have wanted to touch someone as awful as me. But maybe I can pretend. Would it be so awful to pretend that I’m loved. Or do I not even deserve that. No, I don’t, do I.
But, the warmth doesn’t go away. In fact, it only gets warmer, more persistent. Maybe I should let myself enjoy it for now, while it lasts. I flip over my pillow to the dry side before laying back down. If I close my eyes and pretend, I can imagine it’s Serizawa in bed with me. I can imagine that he still loves me.
I can pretend that someone cares.