Chapter Text
Not seeing Katsuki in the class doesn't just feel wrong, but also uncomfortable.
The first time Izuku sees Reiko inside the class being welcomed and bombarded by his classmates, he felt like he was hit by a whiplash. Especially when Aizawa arranges their seat plan, which means Izuku is to sit on Katsuki's former seat while Minoru is to sit on Izuku's.
"Is Sato okay? He's not here," Reiko asks Minoru.
"He flunked the last exams. He's in Business Management class now," Momo replies.
"Kirishima?" Reiko asks again.
"Oh, that," it's Hitoshi who answers before Minoru can. "Something happened. He dropped. Todoroki's at the hospital with him."
"Is he okay?" She asks again.
Hitoshi shrugs. "He's tough. But he's a softie. Dropping is not really a surprise for him, you know. He's a sentimental one. And things are not going well these past days. I'm surprised it took two months for him to drop."
"Hitoshi!" Kyoka chastises, glaring at Hitoshi.
Hitoshi arches a brow, his alphan scent wafting with a touch of light tease.
"What? Don't lie. We're all worried for him, too. Didn't you tell me I was lucky I wasn't there that night or else I would've killed De–"
"Hitoshi-san!" Momo squeaks. She then turns to Reiko, her scent apologetic. "Excuse us, Yanagi-san!"
Reiko smiles casually. "It's fine. I'm used to it. I'm friends with Neito, after all."
"See? It's fine. You're all too soft. Omega or not, I would have hurt–"
"Don't mind him," Kyoka whispers to Reiko, standing up from sitting on Minoru's desk to go back to her seat. "You'll get used to it."
Reiko nods and faces front, glaring at Minoru who's grinning at her. Then, she looks at Izuku.
Izuku will never be mad at someone innocent, especially if it's Katsuki's choice to change classes.
But sometimes, Izuku just needs to get mad. But he knows Reiko doesn't deserve it. So he smiles timidly at the female alpha, genuine and welcoming.
"Welcome to Class 3-A," he greets.
Reiko smiles at him. But there's a tinge of pity. Izuku knows. He's been getting the same glances and stares all the time.
Izuku faces the front. His fingertips touch the edge of the table. It feels like touching Katsuki's lingering prints, and it helps to calm him down. It helps.
He just doesn't know until when.
•••
When lunch comes, Izuku's ready to go to have lunch with his friends and tag Reiko with them when suddenly, Denki is standing beside him.
Ochako glares, walking in front of him. Mina stands in front of him too, frowning at Denki.
Everyone is subtle as they could, walking out of the room leaving the four of them.
Mina looks around, noticing that Aizawa left already. While some of their classmates are still outside, clearly waiting for them or maybe acting as standby in case Ochako decides to make a scene, there are only a few of them.
Good.
"What do you need?" Mina asks.
Izuku can clearly speak for himself, but the sight of Denki standing in front of him, wearing Katsuki's mark…
Izuku takes a breath. He's been getting good at filtering Denki's scent out of his system, and so is Katsuki's, but extra nights of practicing to filter these scents he almost becomes a beta is not enough when Denki's standing too close like this.
"I just want to talk to Izu–"
"It's Midoriya to you," Ochako sneers. Mina tugs her arm, calming her down.
"Denki, please–" Mina starts, but Izuku is not a charity case.
He can face Denki. In his field of work, it's inevitable. Sooner or later, once they graduate, he will have to work with Denki, or Katsuki. Or both, if fate decides to be cruel to him for the rest of his life.
"Mina, it's fine," he interrupts, smiling when Mina gives him a reluctant look. "Wait for me outside, okay?"
The two girls look reluctant, but one look from Izuku and they're both sighing and walking out of the room. When the door closes, Izuku faces Denki.
"You want to talk to me?"
Denki nods, fingers fidgeting and the scent of shame and guilt hovers around him. Feint. But they're there.
"Yeah. Uhm… it's me. The reason why Eijirou dropped."
Izuku's eyes widened. Denki's willing to talk about this?
Despite the honesty, Izuku's guard arises.
"What did you do?"
"He saw me walking out of Katsuki's room last night…"
Oh.
Izuku gulps, swallowing the sudden burn on his throat.
How dare he? How dare he tell Izuku that he was with Katsuki before his relocation?
Just how…
Why did Katsuki even…
Izuku shakes his head. And he faces Denki.
"I asked. What did you do?"
Denki purses his lips.
"I was crying when I left Katsuki's room. Eijirou probably thought something bad happened that's why he followed me. He heard me and Tooru talking about my pregnancy. I didn't want to tell anyone about it. Uhm.. He was panicking. I had to use my dam instincts on him."
Dam instincts.
And it worked? So that means he's really pregnant…
Izuku knows it is bad but he wonders if Katsuki ever wants that pup.
"What did you do?" Izuku asks for the third time, sounding harder as time passes by.
"I begged him to not tell anyone. It messed up with his want to tell everybody. And… and that's it. He dropped."
Izuku stares at Denki. He stares at the bite mark mocking him. Taunting him.
"You didn't want anyone to know? Why?" He still asks, his omegan instinct winning.
"Well…" Denki starts, sounding unsure. "Katsuki decided to change classes. And I'm gonna deal with the pregnancy alone for a while. Maybe, Katsuki and I will face this in the future. I want to keep something important to ourselves, first. I don't want anyone to know. For now."
Izuku wants to punch someone. Maybe, Denki. Maybe, Katsuki.
But most of all, himself.
He knows there's always a possibility that something foul happened. Anything is possible, after all.
Still, there's a pup involved now.
And he's tired of acting like his feelings don't matter. He's always hiding how the whole thing isn't hurting as much as it does inside.
It's selfish to feel so betrayed. It feels so bad, for someone else to have the life he wanted for so long.
It feels like the world is ending every time he's reminded of the fact that this is his life now.
Katsuki will have a pup with a mate he accidentally marked.
"Are you going to tell Sensei? Why are you telling me?"
Denki smiles timidly at him. "You deserve the truth."
Izuku scoffs. "Tell me the truth about that night, then."
Denki looks shocked, eyes wide as he stares at Izuku. Then, his face turns somber.
"It was an accident. I got drunk. He got drunk. I don't even know what really happened…. It just did…"
There's no trace of lies in Denki's scent. And Izuku hopes there is, no matter how vile that is.
Just how cruel he became after the incident? Here he is, hoping that Denki did something bad so Izuku could blame him, but there's none.
Slowly, Izuku's ideas of something foul happened fades.
He tries to hold onto it. To the remnants of the idea that Katsuki was framed to cheat on him. That Katsuki didn't fall to his instinct and fucked the nearest omega he could grab.
But Denki's pregnant. And his scent is not lying.
It just happened.
What the fuck is that?
Izuku nods to himself, calming himself down.
Denki takes that as an indication that the conversation is over so he turns around to leave. But before he does, Denki turns to him to give him a pitiful look.
"I'm really sorry, Izuku."
And then, Denki leaves.
He vaguely sees Mina and Yuga following Denki. Probably to interrogate the other omega. But Izuku doesn't care anymore.
Even when Ochako greets him when he goes out. Or when an alpha is suddenly talking to him.
All he thinks about is he needs to be away from both Denki and Katsuki. He's wondering if his mom will take him home if he asks because he can feel his impending drop.
The medicine Recovery Girl reluctantly gave him is still working. At his age, he's not supposed to take suppressants. But if he doesn't, he will drop.
He tries not to think about how his supposed heat didn't come, or when he sees bleeding spots on his underwear that Recovery Girl warned him about when he started taking heavy suppressants.
How he experienced migraine every day, or how he's borderline dehydrated. How his muscles hurt when he forgets to take the pill for a day.
It will ruin his body and his reproductive system. But Izuku doesn't find any use of it if he's not mated to Katsuki.
So he's taking the pills.
He keeps ignoring the signs of his health and mental decline, the lack of Katsuki in his life suddenly taking a toll on him.
The sudden smell of unfamiliar alphan scent helps him to regulate his breathing.
Denki's scent mingled with Katsuki's enveloped Izuku's exhausted skin, he turns to the alpha who's smiling bashfully at him.
"I'm asking if we can have lunch together? As a formal courting introduction?"
Izuku wants to laugh. He must be crazy. Ignoring Ochako's hold on his arm, and in a desperate attempt to erase the trace of Denki's mated scent, he finds himself agreeing.
And then, he'll cry about it in his room later.
•••
A week without Katsuki. Izuku feels like every nerve in his skin is active. He can feel his skin tingling all day. The exhaustion of not seeing Katsuki. The deep need to look and find his familiar back.
Izuku was so ready to accept that everything is already gone, already accepted the fact that he'll only have Katsuki as a friend.
Declining Katsuki as a hero partner for the training was a dick move, but it was advised to him to be away from Katsuki especially at hero works. Drops could happen all the time, and Izuku is most likely to drop just from being near Katsuki.
Izuku is stubborn, so he still befriends Katsuki, even if he has to hurl and empty his stomach every night because of the ugly feeling he's been feeling since losing Katsuki, he's ready to risk a little bit of his health for a little bit of friendship.
It's pathetic. He even cried to Tenshin, the alpha from the General Studies, because he had to reject him and that he's not ready. He admitted he will never be.
It's Katsuki or no one else.
The alpha was kind, understanding. Still, he held Izuku that time. Kind and friendly.
Izuku finds himself going to Tenshin when he wants to cry. Because it's always easy to cry to strangers. And Tenshin is kind enough to be friends with him, not really hurt from the rejection.
'I will never be Bakugou. I don't know what went to my mind that time to ask for courting permission. I'm glad you rejected me. It was impulsive,' Tenshin's words.
Izuku was thankful. Still, he found a friend in Tenshin.
A week of crying himself to sleep clutching the remains of Katsuki's clothes he still keeps despite the alpha's lack of scent, a practical exam happened.
Izuku knows he will meet Katsuki. Shoto had told him before the practical test that he would talk to Katsuki so Izuku wouldn't have to.
But of course, they will face each other. And like what he expected, Katsuki is hurt.
It hurts that Katsuki is hurt. Izuku can't blame Ochako. She didn't know what happened. She only knew Izuku accepted someone else's courting attempt. And Izuku didn't get time to tell them it didn't even progress from the start.
But that doesn't matter anymore. Because Katsuki is hurt. And he's crying again.
God, Izuku wants to fight for him. Wants to leave this place and take Katsuki with him. Ruin their already ruined lives.
But as he watches Katsuki fights like the Kacchan he admires, he knows he can't take this away from Katsuki.
Katsuki deserves to be a hero.
When Katsuki cries and finally shows an ounce of anger towards him, Izuku feels relieved. When Katsuki cries and asks if the alpha he thought Izuku chose, Izuku remembers how Katsuki shines.
He remembers the way Katsuki just blended so right with his new classmates. The way they see Katsuki as an hero, not just an alpha who lost his mate and gained an unwanted one.
He remembers how Denki told him that he was with Katsuki, in Katsuki's room, and how he's pregnant.
Izuku thinks of unwanted images. Of flashes of illusion, scenes he never even experienced by himself. Unwanted imagination of Katsuki with someone else, touching them with alcohol drowned brain, the way he use to touch Izuku.
The fact that Katsuki laid with Denki and how that fact visits Izuku every night, the nightmare of someone else holding Katsuki like he used to do.
All of his thoughts are angry. And he knows Katsuki doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. Katsuki obviously didn't want this. But Izuku thinks, what about him?
What about him?
He lost a mate. Denki is pregnant. Everything hurt and Izuku wondered if it's too late to tell Allmight that maybe he's done for now.
Izuku's barely holding on to the string of hope, when he doesn't even know what he's hoping for.
It hurts a lot. And he remembers how he survived the past week, replaying Denki's words in his mind, how Tenshin became his shoulder to cry on because he can only listen, because he doesn't know anything at all.
So Izuku nods, he says yes, that he's being taken care of, just to have Katsuki mad at him.
He wants Katsuki to be mad at him, because that way, he can easily let go.
His heart hurts. His chest hurts. His mind and whole body hurts from Katsuki's stun grenade and the fact that Katsuki intentionally did it to harm him.
Danger Sense didn't sense Katsuki, because Izuku trusts him with all of his life.
Katsuki can hold Izuku's heart in his explosive hand and burn it to ashes easily. He could be hurt and it will hurt Izuku, too.
But Izuku will gladly take it. Because it's Kacchan.
He wants to call him Kacchan. Again. Over and over.
But calling him that will give Izuku the impression that he still has Katsuki. And he doesn't. Not anymore.
And nothing hurts more than hearing Katsuki calling him Deku. Like he meant it, this time.
Katsuki leaves crying, and Izuku is left in the middle of debris and ashes sinking in his nostrils.
"You're out, Midoriya," Cementoss states, two of Recovery Girl's robots are ready to escort him out of the field.
Izuku tries to stand, holding back cries, and breaks down when his legs give out.
Burns. Familiar burns of Katsuki's explosions on his skin feels so good.
It's the closest thing to a mark that Katsuki can give him. And Izuku will take anything he can get.
He will settle for burn marks if Katsuki can't leave a bonding mark.
It hurts. But it marks.
It burns. But it stays.
Izuku tries to stand, but his knees are too weak and his muscles are trembling from the shock of the explosion.
"You're bleeding."
Izuku looks up at Cementoss. "Huh?"
"Your head. You're bleeding."
Everything feels like underwater. Sounds. Whispers. Words. Skins.
Izuku knows when fatigue and the hit of explosion finally gets to him.
When his body gives out, Izuku lets it happen.
•••
Izuku wakes up at the sight of Recovery Girl's clinic. The pitter patter of the old nurse's feet is too familiar now to Izuku.
He sits up and winces when his head throbs. But aside from that, nothing hurts.
Still, Recovery Girl has a weird expression on her face.
Izuku can't help but ask. "Is something wrong?"
Instead of answering, Recovery Girl sighs and asks him back.
"Can you stand?"
Izuku frowns, but nods and stands up.
The nurse assesses him for a few seconds, then she nods.
And then, she's ushering Izuku to the medical examination chair and guides him to sit.
Recovery Girl opens his computer, and then, on the screen, is swirls of black, dark blue, and translucent whites.
Izuku stares. His fingers start to shake, his lips wobble, and his skin feels so warm suddenly.
He looks at the nurse, eyes wet from pouring tears. Asking without words. Begging the gods.
Recovery Girl nods, smiles at him, and holds his hand tenderly.
"Ten weeks."
Izuku whimpers.
And then, he falls down wailing to the nurse's small arms.
"Ten weeks, Izuku-kun. You're pregnant."