Chapter Text
They unrolled their sleeping bags beneath an endless night sky.
“Are you sure we’re allowed to spend the night up here?” Killua asked. He always did care about the most random things. Gon remembered, in another life, him not wanting to drink alcohol because they were underage.
“I’ve done it a million times,” Gon said, trying to hide his smile, because Killua seemed to be genuinely asking. “And we’re already up here, so unless you want to climb all the way back down…”
“I didn’t say that,” Killua said, laying down and stretching his hands beneath his head. “Haven’t been here in ages. Well—” he pursed his lips, going quiet the way he often did. “I guess I visited when I was with Nanika. They were just memories, though.”
Gon turned over on his side, propping himself up on one hand. “Yeah?” He always liked to hear Killua’s stories of his time on the Dark Continent. They hadn’t been able to pinpoint that in-between place on the maps that Kurapika and Kalluto had sketched out from their own time there, but he believed Killua when he said that it was real, that he’d walked its lands. After some time, they’d concluded that it was somewhere beyond anyone’s reach, somewhere only someone like Nanika or Zol could access.
Except, they now knew, during lightning storms.
That’s where Noko and Alluka were now—on their honeymoon, chasing the biggest storms they could find with Ging, Kite, and Kalluto.
“Are you sure you don’t want to do something more romantic?” Gon had asked, worried. “Someplace where it’s just the two of you?”
“What, like what you and Killua are doing?” Noko had teased.
“We—we’re not—”
“Aw, stop looking at me like that, Freecss, I’m just messing with ya.” She’d flicked his forehead and looked over to where Killua, Alluka, and Kalluto were all poring over maps of the Azian continent, mugs of tea growing cold between them and pencils scattered everywhere. Alluka had looked up, caught her eye, and Noko’s expression had softened. “She might be able to find her sister,” she’d said. “And there’s no place else I’d rather be than with her.” She’d grinned at him. “So yes, our honeymoon is a Hunt.”
He nodded. “And who’s going to look after the Cultural Center while you two are gone?”
Noko looked a little nervous. “Well. Mito’s agreed to do it while you two do your little trip, but I figured since you’ll definitely be back before us, and we don’t know how long we’re gonna be gone…”
Gon smiled at her. “Noko. Of course. I’d love to. And…” He looked over at Killua. He would never get tired of looking at him—he was watching his siblings with unbearable fondness, so strong it looked like awe. “We’ve talked about settling down somewhere for a while.” He looked at Noko again and grinned. “What better place than here?”
Killua’s return had not set off any alarm bells with the Zoldycks. Just to be sure, he and Gon had gone to Kukuroo Mountain, just to see if anyone was still there. They found an empty house, abandoned for years by the looks of it, and an empty grave in the forest with Killua’s name on the headstone. All of the butlers had left, including Canary and Amane. Gon and Killua spent a week tracking them down—they’d moved to their own apartment in Yorknew. They hadn’t known where anyone was.
“One day, we woke up and everyone was just…gone,” she said. She sipped on some tea that Amane had brewed for everyone, something citrus-flavored and spiced. They were sitting on the couch in their huge living room, high up in the penthouse suite of some fancy apartment complex, with glass windows that gave a view of the entire city.
“And no sign of where anyone went?” Killua asked, a complicated expression on his face.
Amane came in from the kitchen with a plate of cookies. “Nothing,” she said, placing them on the coffee table. “Just our severance pay in an envelope on our desks.”
Killua had stared into this tea, then taken a sip. “I don’t know where they could have gone, either,” he said. He pursed his lips. “It’s weird to see the house like that, though.”
Canary nodded. “It’s been a long time,” she said.
Killua looked at her. Gon saw he looked almost nervous. He hid a smile.
“It has,” Killua agreed. He held out a hand. “Friends?”
Canary looked surprised. She looked at Amane, whose eyes were wide. Then she looked back to Killua.
“Yes,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. She forwent his hand and gave him a hug, which made Killua oof in surprise for a second, but then he hugged her back, just as tight. “Yes, I think I’d like that very much, Killua.”
Gon’s smile broke.
Leorio had, understandably, yelled at him.
“I can’t believe you would do something like that,” Leorio said, once Killua had finished explaining to him his wish to Nanika—the condition that if Illumi found out Killua’s ability to wish for anything, he be sent away. “We could’ve handled it together, there were a million other ways to do this that didn’t involve you getting whisked away to some pocket dimension, without your body, by the way, what were we supposed to make of that? You died—”
Killua had just hung his head, quiet. “I’m sorry,” he said.
Leorio had stopped immediately, his eyes filling with tears. “Oh, come here,” he’d said, wrapping Killua up in his arms. Carefully, Kurapika had done the same, and then Gon couldn’t hold back any longer—he joined them, and suddenly it was the four of them again, like old times. Gon felt something slide into place.
They broke apart after a moment, Leorio and Gon crying, Killua and Kurapika wiping at their eyes.
“If there is anyone you should speak to,” Kurapika eventually said. “It’s Kalluto.”
Killua looked at him, confusion written on his face. “Kalluto?”
Kurapika nodded. “He blamed himself for your death for many years. It is only recently that he has been more lenient on himself, but…” He looked at Killua then like he couldn’t quite believe he was there. Gon understood the feeling. “It is no small thing, feeling the weight of that guilt.” Leorio grasped his shoulder, and Kurapika went up to touch his hand. Gon watched Killua take in the years of intimacy and trust there—hard-fought and well-earned. “Would you speak with him?”
Killua looked at them both and swallowed. Gon saw he was realizing what Gon already knew—that Kalluto had found his own home, his own family. Gon used to consider it a failure on his part—he hadn’t been able to build Kalluto a home the way he and Noko had for Alluka—but now, all he saw was the blessing of Kurapika and Leorio’s friendship. He was fiercely glad for it, and for them both.
Killua nodded. “I’ll talk to him.” Then he’d looked—heartbroken, his eyes wide, his eyes filling with tears once more. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For taking care of him.”
Kurapika had frowned then, pushing away his own tears, and looked remarkably like his husband, standing beside him openly weeping. “There is no need to thank us. And really, Leorio is right—if you’d just told me what you were planning when you called, we could have—”
“You were in no position to help me, you were just as fucked up as I was!” Killua shouted back, finally sounding irritated about being lectured, and Gon just laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
“Your hair is longer,” Gon said now, on top of the World Tree. For the first time in weeks, it was just the two of them. Everyone had wanted a moment with Killua, and while Gon was always happy to see Killua smile, to be reunited with everyone, he was selfishly glad they had the time together now, alone.
“Yours is shorter,” Killua said, reaching out to touch the side of Gon’s neck, where his hair was cropped. After all these years, since the first Whale Island gala, Noko was still the one who cut his hair. Gon saw now that they’d been reinventing themselves, the first of many attempts—trying, as best they could, to grow up.
Under Killua’s touch now, Gon blushed, which was ridiculous. Ten years of believing Killua was dead had obliterated all fear when it came to rejection—he truly didn’t care whether Killua felt the same as him, at this point. That he was alive at all, here, with Gon, was a miracle. The rest was just window dressing.
Killua seemed to realize what he was doing, and a blush high on his own cheeks rose. Despite himself, Gon felt hope, traitorous hope, rise in his chest.
“We could’ve had so many more years,” Gon whispered. “I wish I’d known.”
Killua’s hand curled around the back of his neck. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Gon’s, his eyes closing. Gon felt warmth spreading from his palm and his forehead all the way down to his toes, and he sighed. “No point in that,” Killua said softly. “We’re here now, aren’t we?”
Gon nodded, feeling Killua against his skin. This high up, it was freezing, but their sleeping bags were warm. Killua was warm. Everywhere they touched, he was warm.
They talked.
“I heard about Abe. I’m sorry.”
He squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. She was happy. It was peaceful.”
“I’m glad.”
“Okay, but Bisky looks the exact same.”
“Right? Isn’t it kind of freaky?”
“So freaky. Don’t tell her I said that.”
“We’re still not quite talking, but it’s…easier, I guess. Than how it used to be, when it was just him and me on Whale Island. We’d have these awful silences in the kitchen. Neither of us really wanted to be there, I think, we were just…trying to comfort each other, as best we could.”
“It wasn’t like that with Alluka, was it?”
“No. I think Kalluto was angrier. Maybe that was why he couldn’t stay.”
“I get that.” A pause. “Were you angry?”
“A little. Mostly I was just—sad. That sounds dumb, hah.”
“No, no, I get it. I talked to him. Kalluto.”
“How’d it go?”
“He hasn’t forgiven me, but that’s okay. We’re trying to move forward, figure it all out. I hurt him, badly, even before all this. I’m glad he has Kurapika and Leorio.”
“Yeah, me too. After he left, he went straight back to them. I used to feel…I dunno, like a failure, or something, but…now I’m just so grateful, you know?”
“Is it really this easy?” Gon asked in the morning, as the sun was rising on top of the World Tree. “Can we really just…pick up where we left off?”
“I mean,” Killua said, his head in Gon’s lap. Gon played idly with a strand of Killua’s hair. “Do you want to make it complicated?” He grinned up at him. “Because I can start all kinds of drama.”
Gon laughed, poking him in the side; Killua yelped and sat up, moving up and away. A moment later, he settled next to Gon, his shoulder pressing against his. “No,” he said. “But we should probably talk, too. About everything else.”
“Okay,” Killua said, nudging his shoulder. “We can talk. What do you want to talk about?”
Gon swallowed. There was so much. How are you? How was your time away? Was it lonely? Did you miss me as much as I missed you? Did you want to come back? Could you feel me, waiting? Did you grieve me, too? Why didn’t you let me follow you? We were so young. We’re still young. I wish you’d told me. I wish we’d had more time. I wish you hadn’t gone. I’m so fucking glad you’re back. Will you stay this time? Will you stay with me? Will you stay with us, with your family, in the home we built together while you were away? Will you love it as much as I do?
Gon opened his mouth to say this, any of this, but instead what came out was—
“Are we okay?” he blurted out, and immediately blanched. “Fuck,” he said. “That wasn’t. That came out wrong—I just—”
Killua raised an eyebrow.
“It’s just that—well, when you—left—” his voice broke slightly. “We weren’t on the best terms, and it’s been eating away at me for years, how we left it, and if you’re still angry that’s okay, it’s fine! It’s fine, I just—I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, Killua, I shouldn’t have said those things, with, with Pitou and Kite, and then we didn’t talk about it for years, and then we kissed and I said more horrible shit, and then I thought you’d died and I just, I couldn’t—”
Killua’s lips were on his, warm and slightly chapped. Gon gasped, clutching the front of Killua’s sweater. The kiss was sweet, tender. It felt like a bruise, blooming beneath his lips, his skin.
They drew away. Killua’s hands came up to cup the side of Gon’s face. “Gon,” he said, his voice very serious. “After everything we’ve been through, after all this time, do you think I care about any of that stuff now?”
Gon looked into his face. “No?” he said, his voice weak.
“No,” Killua said firmly. He let go of Gon’s face and Gon felt the distinct lack of his touch. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I left without telling you why. I hurt you.” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Gon. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say how sorry I am.”
They sat in silence for a moment.
“I guess it really is that easy, huh,” Gon said. He laughed, the sound a little wild. “We’re—it’s just us. That’s all that matters.”
Killua nodded, reaching for Gon’s hand. “I guess so,” he said, laughing too. It sounded a little wet. “And since I’ve never said it,” he continued, looking Gon in the eye. His eyes were so blue. “I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve. Just so you know.”
“Oh,” Gon said, dazed. “That’s…”
“I’m sorry I never got to tell you before I left,” he said. “I was a scared kid. And I didn’t think it mattered.”
“You didn’t think it mattered?” Gon said, frowning. “What the hell do you mean, ‘you didn't think it mattered—?’”
Killua laughed, squeezing his cheeks. “See? I can start all kinds of drama.” His touch turned gentle again. “But seriously. I was so scared, and honestly? I didn’t even think I had to say it. I thought you—” He cleared his throat. “I thought you already knew. It was so obvious.”
“Well, it wasn’t obvious to me!” Gon said, his voice going a little high-pitched.
“Well, now you know,” Killua said. His voice turned playful, but beneath it ran an undercurrent of nerves, of self-consciousness. “And I sure hope the feeling’s mutual, because—”
“Of course it is!” Gon said, almost angry again. “Killua, I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know how not to. It’s—” He laughed, the sound wild. “It’s so stupid how much. How much I missed you. All these—all these years.” His voice broke. “It’s never been anyone but you, Killua. It was always you, even when you weren’t here.”
Killua reached for his hand and squeezed. “I’m here now,” he said. “I’m here.” Gon closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” Gon croaked, barely believing it. How lucky he was. “And you’ll stay this time?”
Killua smiled. “Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, Freecss.”
The sun had risen when they weren’t looking, and now the world was alight. The ocean was so bright and blue down below, and above them was the wide dome of the sky, just as brilliant. Up here, on top of the World Tree, it felt like the rest of their lives was spread at their feet. They could go anywhere, do anything. They were the oldest they’d ever been and so impossibly young.
There was still so much more to say, to do, and Gon would relish all of it. He felt like he’d been running for his whole life and now he could finally rest.
Killua’s hand in his, a new dawn on the horizon, and the wind blowing strong, Gon thought that, in the end, Noko had been right. In time, it would all come back to them, come back home.
They had all the time in the world.