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Though Shadowheart and Tav have been getting along as well as they can be, occasionally, a particularly vicious spat reminds them how easy it is to find themselves at odds with one another.
Granted, it hasn’t been much time at all, since they’ve fallen from the Nautiloid, with unwelcome guests burrowing into their very minds. Still- from Tav’s initial rescue of Shadowheart from her pod, and nearly every moment since, they’ve found each other’s company to be reassuring.
While they generally seem to agree on most means of conduct, there are moments in which Shadowheart questions Tav’s ability to lead the group.
With one such moment occurring not an hour prior, and leaving them covered in goblin viscera, it’s safe to say Shadowheart is still livid about the entire ordeal.
On what had been a simple walk home to camp, in the Emerald Grove environs, they- Tav, Shadowheart, and Lae’zel, of course, had happened upon a group of tieflings seeking refuge in the Grove. Cornered by a straggling group of goblins, Tav saw fit to intervene on the terrified tieflings’ behalf, giving away their position of stealth, and risking the group’s well-being, all for an act of charity.
A fruitless one, at that- when the tieflings asked what they could do in return for such a sound display of heroism, Tav had simply sent them off with a modest shake of her head.
And perhaps it was Lae’zel’s added support that fueled Shadowheart- it surprised her to learn she was in agreement with the Gith, who so often drew her ire, so she took the matter up with Tav, rather cantankerously.
And, much to Shadowheart’s surprise, their usually even-keeled, calm-tempered leader, had yelled right back, matching the volume and intensity with which Shadowheart had spat at her.
Lae’zel seemed amused by the dysfunction, if not entirely unimpressed by the distinct lack of professionalism at play.
She watched as they verbally tore each other to shreds.
“So we’re to stop for every damsel you find? Perhaps you weren’t listening with those dulled ears of yours, but Halsin has no cure for our affliction. Perhaps you are content to die before we ever find a solution, but some of us have more important matters to tend to than your pathetic heroics and sense of ego.”
Shadowheart’s own words- brusque and caustic, echo in her mind.
She surely hadn’t minced words- though, diplomacy is something she generally affords to those that deserve it.
Lady Shar’s mission comes first; her skillset is not a tool for helping the needy, or protecting the weak; she is not a paladin, she has sworn no oath.
And neither has Tav- which makes her disposition all the more perplexing.
“Truly, have you no heart? If the heat of battle poses too much of a threat for your Sharran sensibilities, feel free to step aside- but don’t presume to tell me who I can or cannot protect. If you feel you’d have more luck journeying separately, don’t let me stop you. Hells, I never asked for you all to follow me.”
The fire with which Tav addressed her still licks at her heart, melting the hardened exterior she’s so meticulously built around it.
Suffice it to say, it’s been the kind of day that leaves Shadowheart feeling glad that she can’t remember too much of anything at a time.
As Tav walks ahead of the group, boots furiously crunching against twigs and grass, she turns rather often, just to ensure everyone is still following.
Lae’zel takes up the rear, wordlessly scanning her keen eyes along the treeline, ever on alert for the presence of danger.
Shadowheart finds herself in between the two, brooding and scowling to herself as they make their way to camp.
The next time Tav turns, she glances at Shadowheart for just a moment before turning away, clearing her throat.
“Gods, but she’s beautiful even when she’s livid.”
The words come out almost mumbled, and Shadowheart almost doesn’t recognize Serena’s voice, so soft and calm, after a bout of yelling.
The words make her stop in her tracks, and Lae’zel nearly bumps into her.
“You stopped.” Lae’zel demands, and that gets Tav’s attention, as she pauses and glances at Shadowheart curiously, the rage mostly dissipated from her features.
“What did you say?” Shadowheart finds herself asking Tav to repeat herself.
Perhaps she misheard.
“...I haven’t said anything.” Tav frowns, glancing at her with mild concern, bordering on annoyance, perhaps- Shadowheart can’t be too sure.
“Strange.” She hears the voice again- Serena’s, without a doubt, though she hasn’t moved her lips- hasn’t saidanything at all.
“...I…” Shadowheart clears her throat. She doesn’t want to discredit her entire argument by sounding like she hasn’t slept in days. “Nevermind. Let’s keep moving.”
“Istik.” Lae’zel snorts, and Shadowheart scowls at her before turning sharply on her heel.
The remainder of the walk to camp is silent.
It’s a little better when Shadowheart has managed to rinse the blood out of her hair, and the crimson stains off her hands and neck.
The small lake they camp beside is chilly- even in the month of Eleint as they find themselves, and Shadowheart is careful never to submerge herself further than her knees. It makes bathing a most arduous task, but there is no better option and she refuses to reek of goblin blood because of her fear of swimming.
It’s a pity, she thinks, to fear a body of water so beautiful and calming, lapping gently at the shore and soothing Shadowheart with its gentle sounds.
Her mind is quiet as she dries herself and makes for the safety of her tent, eager to change into her camp clothing and even indulge in a chalice of wine or two.
A cursory glance at the camp tells her that Tav and Lae’zel are both still away, no doubt each bathing in some far off secluded corner of the shore. Halsin has arrived bearing a few gifts from the Grove in light of his recent rescuing, and Karlach keeps watch, off in the distance by the trees. Gale tends to the stewpot, and Wyll keeps his company. Astarion lounges in front of his tent with a book, though he does quirk a smile every now and again at something Wyll says, indicating his propensity to eavesdrop.
It reminds Shadowheart that she shouldn’t be too trusting of any of these relative strangers- even if the past couple of tendays have fused them all together.
Shadowheart disappears into her tent behind closed flaps, and takes her time working a comb through her hair, allowing herself a moment of peace throughout the ritual.
She rewards herself with only about ten minutes of relative relaxation before the voice re-enters her mind with a passion, nearly startling her out of her own skin.
Accustomed to hearing voices as she may be- this is certainly not the voice of Lady Shar- certainly not, with that elegant lilt that gives away patriar status, as much as the accent does.
Tav.
She’s certain of it.
She’s hearing Serena Tavyndír’s voice in her head, and she has been, since that wretched shouting match they’d shared, west of the Grove.
“...and her bloody Sharran ideals…as if anyone would willingly believe that drivel…”
The words ignite a fire in Shadowheart’s very being, affronted as she is, and she throws the tent flaps open, as if she’ll find Tav standing outside, ready for a confrontation.
Instead, she finds both Tav and Lae’zel have rejoined the group, each sitting at their respective spots around the campfire, warming themselves after bathing.
Tav speaks to no one- resting her chin on her bunched up knees, wearing the same ragged clothing she’d salvaged on their first night together as a group.
Even still- she looks beautiful, Shadowheart realizes, with flames reflecting back in her amber eyes as she watches the fire with a faint scowl on her features.
Shadowheart carefully approaches the campfire, and when Tav glances up at her from the corner of her eyes, and nearly does a double-take, her working theory is solidified.
The first thing Shadowheart hears in her mind is more of a jumbled mess than it is a sentence.
“Shadowheart…she…my, she’s beautiful…I…her chest…”
Shadowheart realizes she might be hearing raw thoughts- before they’ve even been filtered by Tav’s own conscience.
“Gods…I shouldn’t look at her in that damned cloister suit.” Tav’s cheeks burn bright red as she turns her head away, suddenly far more interested in the orange glow of the fire. “Her legs…gods, she’s stunning. I shouldn’t look up, she’ll think me a dullard.”
Shadowheart smirks.
She knows this suit is provocative- frankly, she can make anything about herself that way, should she choose to- but to know it evokes this reaction from Tav, of all people?
The evening has suddenly gotten much more interesting.
And to think- she truly thought Tav loathed her, after the day’s events.
Her first instinct is to inform Tav that she’s been caught red-handed, just for the sake of the sheer delight she’ll take in Tav’s embarrassment. Once her short-sightedness passes, however, she realizes there might be far more advantageous ways to utilize this new discovery.
After all, she can’t trust any of these people- unless she can read their minds.
And now?
It just so happens that she can.
She tries to ignore the squirming feeling in her skull- the tadpole seems excited, stimulated by the communication it receives.
She glances at Tav curiously from where she lingers, and cautiously, decides to send a thought in Tav’s direction, completely unsure of how to even approach such a matter.
“...Tav?” Shadowheart thinks aloud at the dark haired soldier across the campfire. “Tav, look up if you can hear me.” She commands the thought as clearly and concisely as she can, but it matters not.
Tav doesn’t so much as move a muscle, hypnotized by the fire, as her own thoughts override Shadowheart’s attempts at communication.
It’s definitely a one-way connection, Shadowheart gathers.
“I wonder how mother’s doing. I hope she received my last letter.” Tav frowns slightly, a somber look clouding her gaze, and Shadowheart feels a distinct pang of guilt. She shouldn’t be privy to these thoughts, private as they are. Certain thoughts and memories are private, cherished.
Whatever Lady Shar’s plan for her- she knows this, knows the importance of blocking Shadowheart’s memories, lest she wants to be distracted and inevitably, fail the mission.
But Lady Shar would also encourage clandestine work- surveillance of those sharing her sleeping grounds only seems fitting for her cause.
Yes, Shadowheart justifies in her own mind, nodding to herself.
She is serving a higher purpose- she has every right to Tav’s thoughts.
She realizes it might be based in proximity- seeing as she can hear Tav’s thoughts so long as they’re within visual range of one another, and she couldn’t hear Tav when she disappeared to bathe.
And so, Shadowheart takes it upon herself to test the limits of this newfound discovery.
Shadowheart departs the campfire to speak in the corner with Halsin, and two things become abundantly clear: Tav thinks about her often, and Tav is surprisingly jealous.
It becomes a bit tricky to eavesdrop on Tav’s thoughts when Tav herself joins in on Wyll and Gale’s conversation- as her thoughts become occupied with the subject matter of their discussion.
It becomes even trickier when Shadowheart also must juggle her own conversation with Halsin- really, questioning him about the pitfalls of taking the Mountain Path to Moonrise Towers, as they’d discussed the possibility of doing.
For a time- there’s nothing interesting from Tav, nothing so clear and distinct as the commentary Shadowheart had heard earlier- until Halsin reaches out to pat her shoulder comfortingly.
It’s meant to be a friendly gesture- Halsin means to thank Shadowheart for her participation in saving the Grove from assured destruction, not that Shadowheart cares. In all honesty, it comes as a bit of a surprise, as Shadowheart and the Druid have barely been amicable towards each other.
Still, it manages to get Tav’s attention from over by the campfire, and Shadowheart hears the next thoughts in her mind, clear as day:
“Of course. She lusts for the druid.” It’s somewhat dejected, and though Shadowheart tries to ignore it, she can’t help but feel a thrill, knowing Tav’s eyes are on her once more.
…Clueless as she might be.
“I wonder if she plans to leave on her own. I was too harsh. Sharran or not, she’s been loyal on the battlefield and her skills would be sorely missed.”
Shadowheart blinks up at Halsin in what’s almost a daze, completely unaware of anything he’s just said.
She cares.
It’s news to Shadowheart- she might have been more affected by Tav’s words than she’d let on, earlier. To know that Serena still wants her there, in any capacity, is reassuring.
When Shadowheart graces Halsin with a laugh, perhaps a touch too loudly in efforts to get Tav’s attention once more, Tav’s response affirms her suspicions.
“Halsin doesn’t know his own luck. To win the Grove back and Shadowheart’s attention in a single evening…”Tav’s thoughts trail off, and Shadowheart notices she’s risen to serve herself stew.
Shadowheart doesn’t know why, but Tav’s words cause a flutter in her stomach, the kind that makes her bounce her weight restlessly between either leg.
She wasn’t aware her attention was such a highly sought-after prize in Tav’s estimation; she surely wouldn’t know it from the way they argued just earlier that day.
Shadowheart quietly excuses herself from Halsin’s presence, suddenly more interested in sitting alone and pondering all that she’s just learned.
“Gods, I hope she won’t cut my hand off for offering…but she hasn’t eaten and there won’t be any stew left.” Tav’s soft musings alert Shadowheart to her presence as she approaches Shadowheart’s isolated position.
Seated on a log, some distance away from the campfire and towards the moonlit lake, Shadowheart glances up as Tav approaches, gingerly carrying a bowl of stew.
Shadowheart’s chest aches as she feels a constricting feeling around her heart.
Only Tav has noticed her lack of participation around the campfire, and only Tav has cared enough to do something about it, despite their nasty fight just hours ago.
“Shadowheart?” Tav asks, so softly and with such sweetness that Shadowheart forgets they ever fought at all.
It’s disarming, how sweet the soldier in front of her is- how large her heart is, finding room within for every distressed soul they come across, in their travels.
In truth, it’s endearing- and more than that, attractive, to Shadowheart. Her thoughts are her own- so there’s no point in denying the way Tav makes her feel. Yes, she so hypocritically challenged Tav’s ability to make decisions, but she finds she cannot fault Tav for caring, for being a good soul.
She can only grow fonder of her for it, despite what she shows outwardly.
And really- despite every Sharran teaching, who can find fault with a beautiful knight who routinely empties her coffers for children and refugees alike?
And besides- there are worse things Serena could be- a Selûnite, for instance. Now that would be unforgivable.
“Tav.” Shadowheart answers curtly, despite her musings- there’s no reason to simply fold in the face of a little civility from the woman.
“....I thought you might be hungry.” Tav murmurs.
“Her eyes always look so beautiful when they catch the moonlight like this.” Tav’s thoughts sound so positively adoring, Shadowheart feels the tightness in her chest return.
“...Did you?” Shadowheart manages, trying desperately to play coy, despite herself.
“Fine. I’ll play your game. As long as you eat.” Tav’s exasperated thoughts draw a grin to Shadowheart’s features.
“...Surely our spat took up more energy than you planned to expend today.” Tav offers playfully, and Shadowheart accepts the bowl, biting her smile back.
“Next time you’d like a thrashing, verbal or otherwise, try to ensure it’s on a day when we’ve had a decent breakfast.” Shadowheart snarks in response, but her tone sing-songs its way right into Tav’s heart.
“Good girl, snark all you like, but take the offering.” Tav’s smug inner musing makes Shadowheart pause for a moment, her cheeks reddening.
Good girl.
She pretends not to know why those words, drawled so enticingly in Tav’s own mind, set her body on fire.
“I’ll leave you to eat in peace.” Tav turns away, but pauses when Shadowheart calls for her.
“...Join me?” Shadowheart pats the space beside her on the log.
Tav regards her with a most inquisitive glance, blinking a few times in surprise. “...Me?” She motions to herself and turns around.
“Surely she means someone else…perhaps Halsin. Yes, that’s it. Halsin.”
“I don’t.” Shadowheart snorts in mild amusement, and then quickly corrects herself when Tav only seems to fall further into her own confusion. “I don’t…want to eat alone.” She corrects, biting her lip and willing Tav to take the bait.
Shit, she’d nearly gone and exposed herself.
“Oh.” Tav lights up- Shadowheart can see it in her eyes, and she’s suddenly aching to see that spark in everything Tav does, so intoxicated by the bright-eyed look she receives.
“And thank you.” Shadowheart adds, as Tav softly makes herself comfortable on her end of the log. “-For thinking of me. It was…sweet.”
“I always think about you.” Tav’s earnest response in her thoughts has Shadowheart sighing softly in awe of the genuine adoration she feels.
She’s never expected this from the stubborn fighter she’s at odds with on many a moral issue. Granted- Shadowheart has noticed an attraction between them, to be certain. Serena is beautiful- Shadowheart would be remiss if she can’t admit that she’s thought about what those full lips might feel like pressed against her own, or grazing the dip in her cloister-issued suit.
But she’s never known the depths of Tav’s genuine affection for her. Not merely attraction- though Shadowheart doesn’t fault her for that at all- but affection.
This entire evening, Tav’s thoughts have been about her- wondering if she’s warm enough, if she’s eaten, if she’s still furious with her and contemplating leaving entirely.
Shadowheart doesn’t wish to admit it- but it’s very much a surprising discovery to learn that the soldier thinks about her as much as Tav seems to occupy her thoughts.
She, too, has spent many an evening pondering the weighty role of leadership Tav bears, if she’s able to manage despite all the pressure heaped upon her slender shoulders.
She has spent evenings in camp wondering if Tav’s furs will be sufficient- thin as they are, and purchased for next to nothing from one of the refugee stands. She has stayed awake watching Tav pace the length of the shore nervously, wondering if there’s anything at all she could do or offer to lessen the pain she seems to endure.
Come to think of it…Shadowheart realizes she spends more of her time wondering about Tav’s well-being than Shar herself, lately.
Immediately, like lightning, her wound lights up and she nearly drops the bowl of stew as she unceremoniously guides it to the ground with her good hand.
Shadowheart winces, gritting her teeth as she clutches at her hand, feeling the searing-hot pain shooting up her arm with intensity only a deity can manage.
“Shadowheart?” Tav eyes the wound wearily, and she reaches out to comfort Shadowheart and then hesitates, clearly unsure about touching the woman before her in any capacity she might not appreciate.
Shadowheart whimpers- her Lady punishes her for the guilty admission- for the sin of straying thoughts, and Shadowheart remembers her place once more.
Tav has occupied more of her thoughts than she ever thought possible- and in such a small window of time, too.
But before Shadowheart can scold herself back into numbness, Tav’s thoughts pierce the dark fog in her mind.
“Gods, I can’t stand to see her in pain. If only I could help her…protect her…if only I could take it away…” Tav’s turmoil sinks deeply into Shadowheart’s chest, and she feels the sympathy radiating from Tav. “What kind of goddess tortures her most dedicated followers in such a manner?”
“Are you alright?” Tav asks, and her eyes glint with unmistakable worry as she asks.
Shadowheart feels her own heart ache.
In truth, she can’t remember the last time anyone was so bothered by her displays of pain, normalized as they had become for her in the cloister. She’s never known a life without this wound, and yet- Tav makes her believe that one might just exist.
“Fine.” Shadowheart manages, and draws in a breath. She exhales, slowly, and turns to Tav, admiring the way a few loose strands have escaped from the bun she’s drawn her hair into, framing her face.
Shadowheart’s body betrays her, and she reaches out, wrapping her hand around Tav’s wrist. “But…thank you.” She murmurs.
The rush of raw, unfiltered thoughts and feelings seem to hit her like one of Karlach’s mighty axe swings.
Soft. Beautiful. Affection.
Attraction.
The latter burns through Shadowheart, coursing through the both of them through the momentary touch.
Shadowheart’s skin burns when she touches Tav, and after a moment, Tav’s thoughts seem to gather themselves enough to be understood.
“I’m here for you.” Tav’s thought is so pure, so honest- Shadowheart feels winded by the confession, never meant for her ears. “I want you.”
Shadowheart’s pupils dilate, her breathing picks up, and she focuses on those three words, and the desperation with which Tav thinks them.
I want you.
Shadowheart feels the heat in her chest diffusing throughout her entire body, gathering between her thighs, and she shifts uncomfortably upon the log.
So that’s mutual, too.
Shadowheart isn’t certain where her audacity comes from- particularly right after being scolded so bluntly by her revered Dark Lady, but she decides to take things a step further.
“If your goal today was winding me entirely too tightly, I’d say you succeeded.” Shadowheart brushes dangerously close to her ear as she leans in to whisper the words. With her index finger, she draws light circles on Tav’s wrist, her tone breathy and as enticing as she can manage.
“My goal was protecting the innocent tieflings.” Tav bites back, her jaw setting in annoyance, but her thoughts bely her rigid composure.
“She’s so close. I could kiss her- brush her hair aside and kiss her neck, her jaw, every inch of her beautiful face-” Tav’s thoughts send chills across Shadowheart’s body.
“How very noble.” Shadowheart scoffs. “Think of all the tieflings we’ll have saved, by the time ceremorphosis properly kicks in and we’re tentacled.”
“She’s breathtaking even when she mocks me…which is often, come to think of it.” Tav’s inner musings cause Shadowheart to smile a moment.
Even in the depths of her feral attraction, Tav thinks sweetly, and Shadowheart cannot help but be drawn to her.
“You take issue with me serving the greater good?” Tav grits out as Shadowheart’s fingers trace up the length of her arm, setting her on edge.
“You soldier-types love being lauded as heroes. You’ll get on your knees for any cause.” Shadowheart drawls hotly, lips just barely grazing the shell of her ear.
This time, Shadowheart knows she’s struck a chord within Tav, because she doesn’t hear her thoughts anymore, rather: she sees the flashes of vague images within Tav’s mind.
Tav, on her knees before Shadowheart, both of them bare, as Tav’s lips graze her inner thigh, her hands wrapping around Shadowheart’s hips and pulling her flush against her.
Shadowheart, her mouth opened in a silent, wordless shout, hands tangling in Tav’s hair as she guides her head between her thighs.
Lips come away wet, smiling into the curve of Shadowheart’s hips as she writhes in orgasmic bliss, chanting Tav’s name on her lips.
Tav’s hips rolling, muscled thighs on either side of Shadowheart’s abdomen, hypnotic as she grinds down against a slick canvas, reeling on Shadowheart’s every whisper.
Exchanging smiles, breathless and at a loss for words, in the dip of Shadowheart’s shoulder as she comes down from her high, their hands clasped together tightly.
It’s as if she lives each of these scenarios as they flash through her mind, sending her heart into overdrive at the sudden rush of blood she feels. The mental images are brief, and yet vivid enough that Shadowheart feels slick between her thighs at the thought.
She can almost feel Tav’s hands along her hips, her lips at her neck, her smile pressed into the dip of her collarbone.
She notices the way Tav glances up at her, lips parted slightly, before she quickly pulls away, excusing herself without another word.
Shadowheart wants to pursue her- wants to ask if she’s alright, but she finds herself rooted to the spot, unbelievably worked up and understandably shocked at the sudden discovery about how Tav thinks of her.
Nightfall brings silence to the camp as they all retire to their respective tents for the evening.
Shadowheart has been largely unable to calm herself since the incident with Tav earlier by the lake, and while she’s tried to seek Tav out afterwards, Tav has made herself scarce at the far end of camp.
It’s a good thing, too, because Shadowheart can use the momentary break in sharing her headspace, so overwhelmed by the desire she felt pulsing through Tav’s thoughts.
Shadowheart is no stranger to attraction, to desire and being desired in turn, but this level of shared hunger and desperation manages to make her head spin.
She’s never wanted anyone- never lusted after anyone’s affections or their heart as much as she wants Tav, in this moment.
She casts darkness in her tent to block out the external light of the campfire and the torches of those still awake, hoping it might help her finally drift off to sleep.
She finds that she remains completely wound up, her pulse still racing compared to her sedentary position as she finally lies down to rest in her bedroll.
The furs feel uncomfortably hot against her feverish skin, and need finds its way to her core, tightly wound and unyielding. She craves the attention, the lavishing, the stretch of a lover- but not just any lover, it would seem.
Tav has wormed- for lack of a more fitting term- her way into Shadowheart’s every thought.
She cannot unsee what she saw in Tav’s mind: what she believes to be Tav’s innermost desires. She cannot unlearn what she knows: She and Tav care for each other deeply, and crave each other carnally.
She tries to seek solace in prayer- she apologizes profusely to Lady Shar for her insolence, for testing her patience, and for her straying loyalty- even if only in thought.
She begs her Lady’s forgiveness and swears herself to her cause yet again, all while ignoring the need she feels in her core.
Sleep, Shadowheart decides, might be the best remedy for this- and what a predicament she finds herself in, to boot. She wonders if this supposed connection between Tav and herself might never cease- and then what? Will she and Tav be forced to head their separate ways, forever bound by a one-way connection of their tadpoles?
And what caused such a connection in the first place?
The thoughts that plague Shadowheart’s mind and keep her awake well into the night are her own…until they aren’t.
“Hells, I shouldn’t be thinking this way about her.” Tav’s voice rings with guilt inside the confines of Shadowheart’s mind.
She hears Tav’s light footsteps as her boots crunch against the sand outside. She curses herself for forgetting that Tav’s tent is oh-so-conveniently the closest to her own.
“Did I…was I imagining the look in her eyes? Surely.” Tav’s attempts to reassure herself don’t seem to work, as Shadowheart imagines her getting into her bedroll for the night, wondering what she’s wearing- if anything, at all.
There’s a lapse in her thoughts for a moment- muddled thoughts of their journey, of Gale’s stew, of a joke Karlach told Tav that morning on their walk.
Shadowheart realizes the thoughts coming with less clarity are just that- passing thoughts, not true ponderings of Tav’s mind, more of a byproduct of simply being awake.
Some of them are…dare Shadowheart even say it…cute.
Tav thinks of the many wildflowers they saw on their walk, and how her mother might appreciate them, too. She thinks of where she might be able to procure a bone for Scratch.
It’s impossible not to be drawn to Tav- for as much as she is a proud knight, with elegant tendencies from her patriar background, she is just as much a loving daughter, a dedicated friend, and at times- a bumbling fool.
Her thoughts quiet out, eventually, and Shadowheart wonders if Tav might have fallen asleep in her tent next door, finally tuning out the world around her and giving into a peaceful slumber.
Shadowheart closes her eyes and rests her head against the fur, hoping for a restful, dreamless sleep.
When she’s just drifting off, eyes shut and lids heavy as if they’re made of lead, she sees the visions again.
This time, in greater detail.
They’re pressed into a bed- that’s the first thing Shadowheart notices about the vision. It’s not a bedroll, makeshift and uncomfortable on the ground or the floor of some tent. The two of them are in an honest-to-the-gods bed, in an inn perhaps, and Shadowheart’s back is pressed into the mattress.
Wearing nothing and glistening in a light sheen of sweat, Tav rocks against her, into her, eager lips drawing wet kisses in the valley of Shadowheart’s breasts. Tav swipes her tongue against her skin, humming at the slightly salty taste, and glances up at Shadowheart’s blissful expression, eager to serve.
Shadowheart gasps, her fingers finding the waistband of her suit, and slowly slip beneath the fabric. With her eyes closed, and these thoughts of wild passion so clear in her mind, she can almost be inclined to believe it’s Serena’s hand, teasing the edge of her thigh.
Tav kisses up the side of each breast, and her hands follow suit. Kneading, tracing her fingertips around each breast until she’s rewarded with two stiffened peaks, Tav finally acquiesces and traces a rosy nipple with her tongue, and then begins to suck.
She hums, and Shadowheart can feel her attraction, the pleasure she gets from watching Shadowheart writhe and whimper beneath her, in her mind’s eye.
Shadowheart groans, muffled into her own elbow, as she slowly dips a finger between her thighs, coming away slick. She could almost feel Tav’s touch against her chest, as vivid as the image seems to be in her mind.
Every time she opens her eyes to her empty tent, she finds only disappointment, and so she lives in Tav’s thoughts for this brief moment, so eager to feel and taste her vision of their lovemaking.
In between flashes of kisses, of moaning and nipping against soft flesh until it bruises- she feels guilt, hot and overwhelming, washing over Tav’s heart. Despite the way she makes love to Shadowheart even in her own fantasies, so tenderly and full of adoration, she still feels guilt for thinking of Shadowheart in this way.
Shadowheart groans at the heady sensation as Tav forces her own guilty thoughts away- Tav needs Shadowheart, even like this, even if only for a fleeting few moments in the recesses of her mind.
Shadowheart only wishes she could forsake her beliefs altogether, march over to the unassuming tent next door, and kiss her until she swallows her own doubts away.
She wants this, arguably more than Tav herself, and she wants to chase that imagined smile on Tav’s lips with her own, as badly as Tav wishes to see hers.
It’s not Shar’s name Shadowheart chants, so desperate and wanton, but Serena’s.
She whimpers and Serena feels a sense of victory, knowing she is the one Shadowheart calls for in the night, kissing her way down porcelain skin, towards parted thighs.
“Shadowheart.” Serena groans into her skin, and Shadowheart’s legs shake when she finally settles between her thighs. Her mouth settles over Shadowheart’s core, tongue laving against her clit as her arms wrap around a thigh on either side, anchoring her lips to Shadowheart.
She eats with an all-consuming hunger, and Shadowheart’s thighs quake around her as she offers her very being to her. A finger traces a tight ring of muscle and elicits a needy moan before it pushes through.
Shadowheart gasps as she tries to mirror the actions, slowly tracing tight circles against herself before gently pressing a single finger into her own heat, whimpering aloud into the dark emptiness of her tent.
To know that Tav longs to hear her own name drawn from Shadowheart’s own lips- to be her deity, even if just for a night, and experience Shadowheart’s loving devotion in turn…
“Good girl.” Tav coos when Shadowheart’s hips plunge down onto two waiting fingers, slowly giving her the stretch she craves so desperately. “You take me so well.” Praise is showered upon Shadowheart, who preens under each word, eager to please, eager to perform. “Tell me what you need, Heart.”
“Fuck me.” Shadowheart moans to herself, wanton and desperate as she slowly adds a second finger, trying to work herself with the same intensity that Tav lavishes upon her in her thoughts.
Heart.
The name makes Shadowheart’s chest feel light, and her head dizzy with affection.
In her thoughts, Tav calls her Heart.
Guiltily, before the eyes of her goddess, Shadowheart wishes nothing more than to be her Heart.
Shadowheart gasps softly and bites down on her lip, wishing desperately that it were Tav’s, and that the weight between her legs was not her own hand, but Tav’s.
It’s a heady mix of adoration and physical attraction that wash over Shadowheart as she squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself back into Tav’s mind.
Tav laps furiously at her as her legs shake, and the only sounds from the room are the wet noises of Tav’s mouth working against her, and Shadowheart’s moans.
She works Shadowheart until there are tears in her eyes- stopping every now and again to glance up and admire her, like a goddess, spread out against the bedding for her.
When Shadowheart finally can take no more, and she grips at Tav’s hair, pulling slightly, Tav curls her fingers within her, burying her face between plush thighs.
Shadowheart thrashes and writhes as the peak of her orgasm washes over, riding each of Tav’s thrusts with a roll of her hips, arching off the bed in ecstasy. She clenches around Tav’s fingers again and again, savoring their connection, the feeling of Tav filling her, sating her deepest, most base desires.
Tav cares only for hearing her soft pants of pleasure, for making her feel sheer bliss in every inch of her body, slowing only when Shadowheart breathily requests it.
She glances up at Shadowheart with that lopsided grin and whispers that she loves her- unabashedly, so eager just to let her know how much. “Was that alright?”
Shadowheart reaches down, only in efforts to pull her back up to her lips, desperate to reciprocate, to hold her. “You were perfect.” She whispers.
Shadowheart seizes up when she comes, hoping her sharp cry of sudden pleasure hasn’t woken up the entire camp.
She clings to the fading image in her mind, of Serena buried between her thighs, eating her out to the point of seeing stars.
She clenches around her fingers, wishing pitifully that they were Serena’s.
Her breathing ragged, she closes her eyes once more, trying to envision the fleeting thoughts, the way Serena told her she loved her.
In this moment, Shadowheart feels the burden of sin upon her- at having so openly forsaken her Lady of Loss in favor of carnal pleasure.
It matters little how guilty she feels, or how Shar compels her to think, for at this moment, all she can think of is Serena’s love, and how badly she wants it.
A dripping mess, Shadowheart slowly withdraws her fingers, feeling a sense of emptiness creeping its way back into her heart, her mind, her chest. Her heart slows to a normal rate as she comes to, aware of the sudden silence in her mind.
She waits a moment or two, until she’s certain the thoughts have stopped entirely, and she has her answer: Serena has fallen asleep.
Craving more of a touch she so desperately needs, Shadowheart realizes she’s gotten all she can from the connection, and resigns herself to getting some sleep, lest her dreams might also entangle with Tav’s.
It takes every ounce of mental fortitude she possesses, but Shadowheart is finally able to drift off into a dream-filled sleep, centered around a very beautiful but stubborn soldier.
In her dreams, Shadowheart lets herself have her.
Birdsong and the smell of breakfast over the campfire seem to draw everyone out of their tents, come morning. Just barely after dawn, the newly lit sky beckons them out from the warmth of their furs, and into the fresh daylight.
Shadowheart finds her thoughts are her own- and she hears nothing from Tav, be it simple musings or any lust-addled thoughts like she had the night prior.
She finds Tav working diligently outside of her tent- re-wrapping the hilt of her dagger with leather strips. Long fingers wrap the leather around the hilt deftly, and Shadowheart feels a familiar heat reawaken in her body at the sight.
She clears her throat softly, and Tav glances up, giving her a little smile. “Copper for your thoughts?”
“Shadowheart.” She greets, and though Shadowheart can’t hear he struggle to keep her eyes squarely fixed on Shadowheart’s gaze, she can see it. “Did you sleep well?”
Shadowheart shakes her head. “I very much doubt I slept at all last night.” She admits.
Tav frowns, genuinely upset for Shadowheart, and pauses her handiwork, unaware of how Shadowheart’s eyes fix on her fingers. “Was it my fault? I apologize if I made noise, I got to sleep rather late, myself.”
“No…” Shadowheart drawls with a little shrug as she turns away. She pauses, glancing at Tav innocently over her shoulder. “You were perfect.” she whispers in the same breathy cadence she used in Tav’s thoughts.
She enjoys the startled double take Tav gives her, the dagger clanging to the ground as it’s dropped in surprise.