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Iruka had never been very good at showing or receiving affection.
Naruto hadn't even known that Iruka cared for him as anything other than a mildly concerned teacher until he'd risked his life for him, and even then, when Naruto launched himself onto Iruka's back or crushed him in a hug, Iruka would always respond with the same awkward raise of his arms, or a shrug to slide him off.
His parents had never been the affectionate sort, which was probably where he got it from. It wasn't really their fault, and he bore no ill feelings to them about it, but he couldn't deny that he was, well, more than likely at least a little bit touch starved.
His Father, Ikkaku, had always been a rather stern and serious man. As one of the last survivors of the dying Senju clan, he took to the responsibilities and weight therein with a grim severity, often reminding Iruka that their bloodline would die out sooner instead of later. He would give the occasional pat on the head, and a gruff 'good job' or 'well done' if he were feeling particularly sentimental, but outside of that?
He would buy ramen. Ramen then, to Iruka, became a sign of love. It was why he insisted on buying it for Naruto, assuming the boy would simply know what it meant, and felt a bit lost and befuddled these days that he hadn't.
Kohari, Iruka's Mother, was perhaps even worse than his Father. She had been born and raised in Mist -- she didn't speak of those years often, but when she did, it was always some kind of horrific bloodied tale involving lots of violence and never any love or affection at all. "It was just how things were," she would say, a little sad and a little bit bitter. So, Kohari didn't know how to show affection either.
She was the tough-love sort, in the end. The kind of person who would put an arm around your shoulder, or shove you over to make room for herself. She'd give advice to your problems, but never went out of her way to make many friends. On top of that, she was ANBU, and so spent many days and weeks and hours away from home.
To Iruka, affection was an arm slung around shoulders. It was a quick "shove over" so he could sit or stand beside you, and it was head pats and ramen and other distant things.
Kakashi was not bothered by any of this, however. Iruka didn't understand it and Kakashi could never give an adequate explanation for why he loved all those bristly traits when he himself was so open with his praise and affections.
In the end, whenever somebody asked him, "What do you like about Iruka so much anyway?" he would pretend to think it over before replying, "He's fun to tease," which wasn't a lie but wasn't the whole truth either.
But when Gai asked him, his answer was more sincere: "His actions are always honest. He doesn't lie about how he feels so I don't have to worry about trying to figure out double or triple meanings. If he's angry, he'll yell at me to get it all out, and if he's happy, he'll wave and smile when he sees me."
"He sounds such a simple man when you describe him like that," Gai said fondly, to which Kakashi laughed, because they both knew he wasn't. Iruka was a very complicated person, who imparted the importance of hospitals to his students yet had once snuck out with Kakashi when one of them was still on crutches and the other with a broken arm just because he hated what he called 'sterile noise.'
"Well," responded Kakashi with a lazy shrug and an unseen grin, "he's also very ugly when he wakes up. His hair's always a knotted tangled mess and he never sounds happy about getting up at all. He curses about the sun being in his eyes, and has no patience for me or the dogs until he's showered and had his tea, but recently he's started giving me a quick kiss to the temple before he goes, which I think is very sweet."
Gai looked back at him with a twinkle in his eye that said I know you kick your feet and giggle about it like a romance heroine when he can't hear you but didn't voice the thought. Instead, he simply got back to his feet, offered a hand to Kakashi, and said: "Let's spar."
Kakashi took his hand and, feeling cheeky, grappled him back to the ground.