Chapter Text
“You think you're the only omega who wants something more. Who wants a chance to forge their own path in life?”
The words rang in Aeron's head, pounding inside his skull, and echoing out through his ears.
As he rode Sweet Girl back to Tully base camp in the fading light Aeron felt…numb. Or perhaps numb was not the correct word to use. He knows he shouldn't feel numb, he should feel so much.
Too much.
Anger, trepidation, worry, sadness, confusion, fear. All of these emotions had blanketed over Aeron in the hours following his presentation, as he had been sat upon the settee in Moira's cottage.
But now… Now the emotions seemed to have fled like a thief into the night. Or maybe, if Aeron examined his heart more closely and with some modicum of honesty, which was a difficulty all of in itself, might admit that the emotions were still there, swirling at the edges of his being, lying in wait, threatening to crack through the barriers he had erected around his mind to protect himself from their harsh and unforgiving deluge, the same way Moira's stone cottage had shielded him from the raging storm outside. For he could not enter into the proverbial dragon's den without his wits about him. He could not be frail and fragile and weak of mind. Not with what he was about to do.
What he had committed to do.
If he was going to truly follow through with this… plan he needed to be steadfast in his resolve, not weak.
Never weak. Omegas were weak. Fragile. Emotional. I have no allowance to be weak, to be emotional. Not anymore , Aeron thought with a grimace.
As he crested over the hill and saw the Tully camp come into view, with red, blue, and yellow tents denoting Blackwood, Tully, and Bracken factions standing proudly in the day's dying light and servants beginning to erect grand bonfires, Aeron took a deep breath working to calm his frayed, raw nerves and hardening his resolve. With a click of his tongue he settled Sweet Girl into a slow trot towards the Eastern expanse of the Tully's camp where great yellow tents dotted the field.
As he approached closer and closer a figure standing at the opening of one of the large yellow tents called out walking at first, then, when he got a better look at Aeron atop his horse, broke out into a run towards him.
Amos was calling out his name, a frantic look upon his face, as Aeron brought his steed to a stop and dismounted with an ease and grace that belied years of equine experience. He could not go a step before being brought into a crushing hug by his cousin.
Aeron stilled, heart hammering in his chest.
He had not planned on having such immediate, close contact with another person the moment he entered into camp. He had planned to keep himself at somewhat of a physical distance. He was terrified, paranoid that even a glance, sniff, or touch upon his person would give away what he was concealing.
That they would look upon him, touch him and just know , somehow. What he was. Who he was.
Aeron waited a moment. He waited two moments, and then three. By the fourth moment, when Amos finally started to loosen his hug, Aeron finally felt some blessedly cool relief flood into his system.
Moira's talents had worked.
He was safe.
He was not found out.
Amos knew nothing .
Thank the gods. Old and New.
As Amos stepped away he sent a hand to smack the back of Aeron's head. “Ow!” Aeron rubbed at the back of his head sending a glare to his cousin.
“Don't give me that look. Now that I know yer not lying dead somewhere with a Blackwood's sword stuck in your throat you'd best explain where the hell you've been.”
“You've had Lord Bracken and I worried, being gone in that storm for hours, we sent out a search party but they could find no trace of you. We were beginning to think those fucking Blackwoods had actually gotten ahold of you. Father was ready to bring his concerns to Lord Tully directly. Seven hells, Aeron, Ser Garrick was practically sharpening his sword for those Blackwood cunts. How could you be so careless, disappearing for as long as you did? Where in the seven hells were you?”
“I- I- I apologize, cousin” Aeron took a deep breath, trying to clear his thoughts and remember the advice Moira had given him. His story needed to be simple, concise. Believable. A story that others would take at face value and not question too deeply, like a child who believes the fairy tales read to them by Septas. Moira had helped him spin a tale before he had left her care and Aeron had repeated the alibi back to himself as he rode to camp till the story came as naturally to him as riding Sweet Girl did.
“I went out to hunt on my own but as the storm gathered I began to feel unwell. I had a difficult migraine and took respite underneath a gathering of trees till the worst of the storm and my headache has passed. I thought it unwise to venture out in a storm in the state I was in. The flooding rivers slowed my return. But, cousin, I- well can you truly not tell? Can you not gather my new scent? I know it may be mild, even for a beta, but still perhaps your nose needs to be examined by a maester. I expect some congratulations. I- I have presented.”
Amos took Aeron in with widened eyes before a smile spread upon his face and he once again gathered Aeron in a bruising hug, slapping him jovially on the back.
“Well at the very least we'll have a good excuse to give to Lord Bracken and Ser Garrick. The gods know they were equal parts worried for your safety and miffed that you had galavanted off to who the seven hells knows where. But we can hardly hold much blame against you now.”
Briefly, letting go of Aeron, Amos turned to a passing servant, instructing them to take Sweet Girl and see to her needs before turning back to Aeron, swinging an arm around his shoulders and walking him further into camp towards one of the roaring bonfires. Sitting down on one of the benches covered in plush, soft fur Aeron accepted a jug of mead from a serving girl taking a small sip before coughing at the slight burn it sent down his throat. Amos laughed.
“Careful there. Best learn to hold your liquor down. I know you're preferential to sweet wines, but this” Amos held aloft his own cup “this is a man's drink, a knight's drink.”
He took a hardy swig. “It is unfortunate, though, that you were forced to present amongst the ravages of a storm, I've heard the headaches that come with a beta presentation can be horrible. I suppose we're only lucky that there was no rut for you to suffer through. But cousin, perhaps you are correct that I should have my nose examined, I fear your scent is quite muted to me” Amos frowned, touching his nose tenderly.
“Cousin, my comment was only in jest I do not truly think your senses are deficient, I believe the wash of rain and stink of horse may be held to account for my lack of scent.”
Aeron, with trembling fingers and a silent prayer to any gods that may hear that Moira's plan would hold, undid the heavy woolen cloak from around his shoulders and dropped it to the ground “perhaps now that my riding cloak has been removed, my scent is not so subdued”.
Amos took a small sniff into the air before turning a shining smile to Aeron. “Indeed, I smell it now. You're correct, quite a subdued scent, but still quite pleasant, like that of tall grass drying under the sun and blowing in a gentle summer wind, clean and clear.”
Aeron sighed in relief at his cousin's words. Clean and clear . A perfect beta scent. Not a single trace of a tantalizing sweetness underlying the notes of his scent.
“Oh” Amos said, setting his cup aside and standing up “the news has probably reached father and Ser Garrick already from one of the other knights who saw you enter camp but I should still go brief them on the intricacies of what has happened to you out there as well as tell them where we are sitting so they may join us in drink and celebration.”
“Oh no Aeron, no need to come with me” Amos gestured for Aeron to remain seated “warm yourself by the fire, drink, rest, I am sure you are the most exhausted out of all of us after the day you have had. I'll be back soon and then we can drink till dawn’s first light”
Aeron thanked his cousin and watched his retreating form as he walked further into camp in search of Lord Bracken. Aeron sighed, lifting his face to the heavens, watching as stars sparkled in the now clear night sky.
He had told so many lies. Too many lies. And he would have to tell them again. And again. And again. Until the lies became truth.
And the truth… the truth was buried, deep within Aeron's chest, bound tightly by chains, unable to escape, its presence heavy and cold.
“But Amos…Amos is a good person, he is as a brother to me, and Ser Garrick, he is a dear friend and mentor, could they not be kept within my confidence?” Aeron questioned Moira with a tone of desperation.
“I understand, Aeron, truly I do, that it is a heavy burden to carry such a secret in your heart. But you cannot let anybody else know. A secret shared hardly stays a secret for long. And this, this is not a secret that can be given away so freely. I am trusting you Aeron. I am trusting with my life, and the lives of those omegas who also live in secrecy, who choose to live freely. You must understand Aeron, such a secret being given away to others threatens everything .”
“Before I can help you Aeron, and I do want to help you, truly, I need to know that I can trust you.”
“Can I? Can I trust you Aeron?”
Aeron brought his head back down, closing his eyes briefly before opening them in response to the sound of approaching footsteps. He could see Amos, Lord Bracken, and Ser Garrick walking towards the bonfire Aeron was seated at, no doubt wishing to be regaled by Aeron's tale once again. And again. And again. And he would tell them the same lie he had weaved so expertly for Amos.
All the while the satchel in his breast pocket would burn.
As the approaching trio came closer and closer to Aeron, a wayward thought struck through his mind.
He had told another lie.
A lie of omission, but a lie nonetheless. He had not divulged to his cousin of his encounter with the Blackwood next to the territory stones.
Eyes deep and dark with ferocity of fire in their core, striking out like a flash of lightning.
He would keep this secret buried as well.