Chapter Text
She should have told Gojo that they could discuss about his relationship with their son in private, in the quietness of her house, but somehow one look at his smile and the pleading eyes of her son had been enough to convince her to have this conversation in the park. The enduring love for her son was what made her agree to do it and she was forever grateful for Megumi to have enough sense to drag her son away from their conversation. Children shouldn’t hear private conversation even if it involved them.
Touwa was a smart boy, but he would be confused about the relationship between a man and a woman.
Neither of them said a word as they watched their son laughing and smiling as Megumi chased after the young boy with a scowl on his face. It almost reminded her of another time. A time when she had been the one chasing after Konohamaru in a game of ninja, her hair flowing freely as her laughter danced in the air. Childhood was fleeting. She wanted Touwa to enjoy his for as long as he could, wanted Megumi not to be so serious all time.
“So, we did meet six years ago,” Gojo said. He clasped his hands together and just stared at the smiling face of their face. “I knew you were the woman from six years ago, you might have been wearing a lot more makeup but I never forget a memorable face like yours.” A cheeky smile played on his lips while she fought against the urge to blush. “And I know you remembered me so why did you pretend that we never met? That we didn’t have one wild night together.”
“Well, you made me believe that you forgot about me,” retorted Naruto, closing her eyes for a moment. Laughter rang in the air before a calm kind of silence settled between them. “If you were going to pretend not to know me, then there was no chance in hell that I would tell you that yes, we did sleep together. I ain’t that kind of woman, Gojo.”
She thought of spewing more words at him or at the very least turning her head away from him, but she found herself just staring at their smiling son. Why was she even this upset? They hadn’t been in a relationship. They weren’t childhood friends. They had been two strangers who had met each other at some club. She had just chosen to kiss him because he had been funny. The kind of man she never thought she would meet. In Konoha, the men were either too old for her liking or didn’t carry the same sense of humour as her.
With Gojo, she allowed herself to think of a chance of dating someone, marrying them, and just enjoying a peaceful life in Japan. A life where she didn’t feel like she was constantly used for Kurama, where she didn’t have to know that people had disrespected her parents’ wishes. That one night gave her Touwa. The light of her life.
“You think I could forget about you?” Gojo asked. His voice was almost amused and soft, just like the gentle breeze brushing against her hands. The birds chirped once again, a final call for the end of the day, while their son tackled Megumi with a grin. “You made a real impression on me that night, I’ve never met a woman who was willing to take charge.” She felt fire erupting in her cheeks as the man leaned back on his chair. “As much as I wanted to remind you about that night, I do have enough common sense not to say it in front of Megumi. His poor ears wouldn’t handle it.”
“Did you realize when I told you that my son was five, he could potentially be yours? Or did you assume there was another man?” A good look at his face showed his hesitance, the way his hands dug against his neck, though no dry skin came out from his fingertips. That easy-going smile wavered before it resumed into its normal position. Minutes passed before he decided to answer her question, he never looked at her or Touwa while he answered her.
“It crossed my mind your child could be my child but I thought you would make that claim, a lot of women had made the same claim. If I run into them, they would tell me but you just kept quiet about the whole thing.” He paused and looked at the ground. “I felt relief when you didn’t tell me he was mine.” Her heart broke, not for herself but for her son. Touwa could say all he wants but she knew from the longing in his eyes that he wanted what his classmates had.
A mother always knew what their child wanted even if her child would never say it to her.
“You know if you asked me a year ago or even two years ago, I would’ve lied for Touwa’s sake because he needs a Dad,” she said, her voice became flat and lifeless. “He needs someone who wants to be his Dad and if you didn’t want to step up, then it would be fine but Sasuke isn’t always around to do all the things Touwa wants.” She stared at their smiling son. “Shikamaru is great, but Touwa doesn’t really like him even though he has shown a lot of ways to be a good father figure. He’s calm, wise and has a boatload of patience but he won’t be you.” She sucked a deep breath. “Besides, he would need to build his own family soon and frankly I would never be the type of wife he needs and he won’t be the husband I need.”
This man was probably not the husband she needed, and the fact he didn’t want to be Touwa’s father meant that he might bring so much disappointment to her baby son. Irresponsible was how Hinata would describe him, and she wasn’t wrong. She just hadn’t seen it until he admitted that he hoped Touwa wasn’t his kid. She breathed in the flower-scented air pausing midbreath when she saw the taken back expression on his face. “What?”
“Something changed, didn’t it? You don’t want to lie to me about it?”
The winds whistled as she considered her next words carefully. “Sasuke is a great friend, even a great mentor to Touwa, but he is still so fucking messed up from all the shit he endured,” she rubbed her wrists as her eyes focused on the swings. “He has gotten wiser and he is the best brother figure a girl could ask for, but Hinata had a point: Sasuke got lucky and had me to save his ass. I know Touwa has me but I don’t want him to always take Sasuke’s advice, just a few weeks ago he told Touwa to reject any girl that tries to confess to him. I don’t want him to close himself off from people, I know he won’t do it but if something happens to me or Hinata…then I need someone, who would allow him to be a kid.”
“And you think I would be that person?”
“I think with all the options I have and the fact you live in Japan, I think you would be that person,” she said, her eyes focusing on their little boy. On that sunny smile on his face. “Besides, every boy needs to know his biological father and I don’t want him to think for a single moment I hid his existence from you.” She twirled a strand of her hair against her fingers. “I’m not asking for you to spend every waking minute with him but it would be nice to bond with him.”
“Let me buy that sword first.” Right, he clearly hadn’t forgotten how quickly his son dismissed him for having a lack of sword.
The mention of the damn sword made her laugh. Made her laugh till tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “You’re seriously going to buy a sword because Touwa doesn’t think you’re strong unless you’ve a sword?” He shrugged and Naruto looked at the setting sun with exasperation. “Don’t waste your money on something you’ll never use. Touwa just looks up to Sasuke because, well because he is like any boy his age. You see someone with a cool weapon and you just automatically think they are stronger,” she scowled. “Honestly, I’m tempted as well just to get a sword to make him stop saying Sasuke is stronger than me, but Hinata won’t let me buy one. She thinks I’ll waste my money.”
“He thinks I’m irresponsible and apparently weaker than your friend,” he let out a loud snort like he found the idea laughable, and she bit back the urge to point out that Sasuke could kill him. Gojo stared at their son for a long moment. “He ain’t wrong about me being irresponsible but I’m not having anyone think that I’m weak, much less prefer me over your friend. I’m a lot cooler than him.” His smile was cheeky and confident, almost reminding her of that wonderful day when they met.
She should forget about that day. It was clear to her that he didn’t really want to be a Dad to Touwa, that whatever attraction she had towards him needed to be stuffed because her son should come first. Because her son deserved better. He was a good kid who deserved to have a Dad that wanted to spend time with him. “You know that means you would need to spend time with him,” she watched the surprise come to life in his expression before forcing a smile when Touwa looked at her. Concern crept onto his face before he shrugged and resumed playing. “He thinks Sasuke is cool because well Sasuke bonds with him in ways I can’t bond with him.” It hurt to admit these things, to watch her son’s eyes lit up with more joy at the sight of Sasuke and the secrets told to him but never her. “He tells him everything, and I’ve to learn things from him like girls confessing to him, how he wishes I dated him but well Sasuke and I would kill each other.”
Gojo looked at their smiling son, then turned his head towards her. There were no emotions in his face, not even a smile, but she didn’t look away. If anything, her heart pounded against her ribcage, her palms began to sweat while the sun continued to glide down with a knowingness that made her want to scream out at the world. “Sounds like he has a Dad.” He pushed his hair back and laughed. “You really think he wants me when I haven’t been there for him? When I can’t be there all the time? I’m not father material, Uzumaki.”
“If you don’t want to be apart of his life—”
“—Don’t put words into my mouth, Uzumaki!” That smile on his face faded while he ran his hand through his hair. “It isn’t like I don’t want to be apart of his life, he is incredibly cute which make sense because he’s my child.” She twitched but didn’t argue against his comment, they did have a cute child. “I just don’t know how to bond with a child. I can barely bond with Megumi and I’ve known him since he was seven and he didn’t have a Dad around him. How the fuck do I bond with my own biological son?”
His words were carried by the soft breeze, but she was more focused on the subtle tremor in his body. “So you want to be apart of his life?” He shrugged, almost uncertain, and she willed herself not to slap the man on the back of his head. “I can’t deal with this, Gojo. I don’t want to just say to him when he’s older that his Dad was an irresponsible shithead, who doesn’t know what he wants, when it turns out that the truth is the complete opposite.”
Gojo rubbed his temples, breathing in and out like he was trying to control himself. “What would he want from me? From the sounds of things, I’m competing with so many men to be his Dad,” she blinked and he sucked a deep breath. “I made him laugh, which is great but parenting? I don’t know how to do those things, thank god he doesn’t need a diaper change but how the fuck do I bond with him? He hates me, he called me irresponsible for fuck sake.”
She was definitely going to have a talk with Hinata about controlling her feelings about Gojo in front of Touwa. It seemed like the man was already panicking over the idea of being a Dad to a 5-year-old, to know his own son thought he was a crap Dad…well she didn’t blame him for being upset. In the opposite scenario, she would have been reacting much worse, maybe crying instead of raising her voice like Gojo was. “Touwa doesn’t know you, he’s just repeating what Hinata had said,” the man twitched and she shook her head. “And if you want to bond with him, well just talking and being there for him is a start.” She paused and watched as his shoulders slumped. “He doesn’t hate anyone, that boy is way too young to hate someone.”
Gojo didn’t smile at her reassurance, it only made him slump his shoulders at her. “What can I even offer him? From the sounds of things, your best-friend has everything under control. It doesn't even feel like he needs me,” his eyes were now focused on their smiling son and the grumpy expression of his ward. “He didn’t ask if I could be his Dad, he only wants me to be his Dad because you don’t have a boyfriend and that is something I find it hard to believe.” She raised her eyebrows at him and he grinned. “C’mon you expect me to believe someone as beautiful as you haven’t gone on a date?”
“It’s hard to date when you’ve a kid, Gojo.” She didn’t miss the relaxed posture and didn’t call out on his hypocrisy since he didn’t even know that he was a father until a couple of minutes ago. “I can’t just bring any man into his life, I’ve to be careful about the whole thing,” she slumped her shoulders. “The only reason Sasuke is his father figure is simply because I can’t raise him by myself and I ain’t the strict type. Shikamaru and I dated long before we met, then broke up because well the emotional connection had frizzled out.” She shrugged. “Kakashi-sensei is more like that Uncle that tells funny stories to him and he rarely visits. They only see him a couple times per year, with you…he has a chance of having a stable figure because you share the same blood. He’ll always be your family.”
The winds hummed, the flowers fluttered, and the air rang with their child’s laughter.
“I haven’t been there for him; you expect he wants me to start from now?”
“It’s better to start now than when he’s 12-years-old and being a teenager,” she shook her head. “I ain’t looking forward to the day where I’ve a full-blown teenage son. He’s already mature and quiet but what if it turns around and he starts saying crap about how he doesn’t need me? Or he blames me for not giving him a stable family?” She exhaled. “But you don’t need to tell him that you’re his Dad immediately, you could just spend some time with him after school and go from there.”
He just remained silent, just stared at their smiling son with a quiet look. She wondered if he truly considering her words or if he was going to run away with his tail between his legs. She had done her part. Had given him all the reassurance he needed but she was not going to push him even more. She should tell him about the monsters, about the curses but she had it under control. Had the whole thing under control. Once she knew whether to trust her instincts about Getou, she would take her son away if needed. If it truly got out of control even if it killed him.
“What does Touwa like? Besides, swords,” she blinked as the man tugged on his blindfold like he was trying to control himself from breaking down. “I’m going to get that sword, ain’t having my son think some guy is cooler than me, but what do I talk to him about? He’s way too young to like girls,” she laughed and nodded as Gojo smiled. “He seems to think the world of you but I don’t want him to think I’m talking to him about his pretty Mum so that I could land a date with you.” She fought off the urge to blush when he gave her that cheeky smile. Damn man still had that effect on her. He exhaled. “Does he even like toys? Does he like martial arts? What do Dad talk to their kids about?”
That annoyance inside of her faded just like the setting sun. Maybe she was wrong to jump to conclusion about the whole thing, about allowing her anger to show. He looked pretty stumped about the whole thing, he even fiddled with his own hands, and Naruto allowed herself to look at their smiling son. “He loves books, not just any books but big books that have a lot of fantasy or fighting,” the leaves began to fall as her eyes focused on the quiet man beside her. “He likes to fight, he actually gets into trouble at school because he defends his friends whenever they get bullied by the older kids. I’m proud of him for that but Hinata worries about it since she worries he might go too far about it.”
“Fighting, I can bond with him over that,” he mumbled. “But what the fuck do Dads talk with their sons?”
She snorted. “I’ve no fucking clue either but you’ll figure it out, if that’s what you want.”
The man didn’t utter a word to her immediately. He just stared at their son with wonder as if it truly dawned on him that there was a part of him out there in the world. That he had a child who needed him. His lips tugged upwards into a sincere smile, not the usual cheeky smile she associated with him. “I know I haven’t given you the best impression but I want to be a part of his life in some way, Uzumaki.”
“That’s the step in the right direction.”