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Published:
2024-07-04
Updated:
2024-12-06
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77,592
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66/?
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Calamity War

Chapter 66: Froggy Little Christmas

Notes:

I was gonna post this on Christmas but I found out DisneyDude deleted Calamity War. I posted this chapter so I can tell you the sad news. Hopefully, it will be back up. The Elf crossover is on Christmas. Enjoy.

Chapter Text

Boonchuy Residence
Everyone was decorating for the holidays.
Hop Pop: Anne, what's happening?
Sprig: Are we under attack? Are these fortifications? Booby traps? Weapons?
Anne: Dude, calm down. It’s just Christmas.
Sprig: What’s that?
Anne: Shoot. I never explained this? Christmas is one of the biggest Earth Holidays. We Boonchuys go big.
Oum answered her phone.
Oum: Happy Holidays from the Boonchuys. Yes. This is she. (gasps) Really?! It’s the Tri-State Area Holiday Parade. There was a last minute opening! Apparently, Superhero Hamster accidentally blew up one of the floats while he and Gretel were fighting Crimson Haste.
Sprig: The what?
Anne: It's the Annual Holiday Parade. Local businesses and schools and sports teams all make floats. It's always my mom's dream to have one at the restaurant.
Bee: Could this finally be the year?
Oum: Thank you so much... I can't believe it, but I'm going to say no.
Anne: Mom, why'd you say no?
Oum: Honey. As much as I would love a Thai Go float and I love Christmas more than anything. It would draw way too much attention to us. I mean, five frogs from another dimension parading in front of all of L.A.? Even in disguises, that's hardly keeping a low profile.
Bee: True, especially not with that evil king coming after you.
Oum: Honestly, we're just happy you're home to spend the holiday with us. That's more than enough for me.
Anne: But this is your dream.
Oum: Yeah, well... (turns around) (nervous) we can still do all the normal traditions. Carols, cookies, decorating the tree, gifts, the family Christmas card.
Bee: Ooh, that reminds me. I picked the theme for third year's card. "Candid". It's gonna be groundbreaking.
Sprig: Huh. What was last year's theme?
Anne: Ungulates.
Sprig: What the fuck?
Grant-Gomez Residence
Gretel, Ivy, Maddie, Fred, Kevin, the Hexsquad, Churro, the Palismen, Nordle, Tobor, Bailey and Lauren were decorating for the Holidays.
Ivy: So what is Christmas?
Gretel: Only the greatest day ever! Santa delivers toys to kids around the world.
Kevin: Yeah right. Santa isn’t real.
Gretel: Kevin, our cousin ended up in another dimension, I got powers from aliens and we’re friends with ghosts. Santa’s real.
Ivy: Who is he?
Anne kicked open the door as she and the Plantars walked in.
Anne: Who wants to help me with the Thai Go Float?
Kevin: What?
Anne: Thai Go has been chosen but Mom doesn’t want to do it so I’m doing it for her.
Gretel: Ok! Let’s do this thing!
Kevin: All right.
Fred: I got nothing else going on.
Anne: All right, we need tech experts.
Nordle: Pfft, my Father is a mad scientist. I am a master when it comes to tech.
Anne: Yeah, I was thinking the IT Gals.
Nordle: Who the fuck are they? Seriously, I heard of them but I have no idea.
Newtopian Castle
Andrias was on his throne again. Lyle comes along with an elf costume.
Andrias: What is that?
Lyle: Well it’s a Christmas costume. I may be evil but how can I hate this amazing holiday?
Andrias: Oh yeah. Marcy told me about this holiday.
Lyle: Professor Exclamation gave you a present.
Lyle ran off and returned with a giant present he pushed. He noticed the stairs.
Lyle: Oh great, how am I gonna get it over the stairs?
Andrias: You can fly, remember.
Lyle: Oh yeah.
Lyle went super and carried the present over the stairs. Andrias opened it and looked inside.
Andrias: Yes. We can use this to destroy Anne. Let’s test it.
Lyle: Ok, where?
Andrias: (Sarcastically) Gee I don’t know? Narnia?
Lyle: I love those books.
Andrias: (Normal) How did you even enrol in High School? Anyway, time for a test run…
Lyle: Do you even know how to work it?
Andrias: (Sigh) Damn it. Just find Professor Exclamation.
Lyle: Is he in Narnia?
Andrias: (Groans)
IT Gals Residence
Anne: Thank you so much for helping me with this float.
Ally: No problem! We'll do anything electronic, animatronic.
Jess: Technotronic... really any other "tronic".
Anne: Thanks. Now for Phineas and Ferb. I’m sure they’ll help.
Flynn-Fletcher Residence
Phineas: Let me get this straight, you want us to help with the float?
Anne: Yep.
Phineas: Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today.
Sprig: Hey Gretel, could you explain Christmas to me?
Gretel: Well…you celebrate and give people gifts. You really gotta give one to the one that matters the most to you. You just gotta. If you don’t you are screwed.
Sprig: So what you're saying is I have to get Anne the perfect gift... (in deep voice) or I'll ruin Christmas.
Hop Pop: This is one of those stressful holidays, isn't it?
Hamster: Sometimes.
Museum
Stan looks at a wreath.
Roman: This, This is beautiful.
Jan: Hello, sir!
Roman: Whoa!
Jan: Interested in learning the history of mistletoe?
Roman: No.
Jan: Oh hey Anne. (Roman runs off)
Anne: Hey, Dr. Jan. Actually, I'm building my parents a parade float and I need all the help I can get. Decorations, props...
Jan: OOOOHH, I love the Chistmapalooza parade! You could use some mannequins and wintry flora from our dioramas. Take your pick.
Anne: Thanks, Dr. Jan! My mom is gonna love this!
Lauren: Uh, Kevin. Looks like we’re under a mistletoe.
They were indeed under a mistletoe.
Kevin: I-I didn’t notice that.
Kevin blushed.
Lauren: Kevin, I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while but…will you be my-?
Kevin: Boyfriend?
Lauren: Yes.
Kevin: Yes. I’d love to date you.
Boonchuy Residence
Anne: OK. So I really wanted to do something special for you guys since you've done so much for me. And well... open your eyes.
Oum and Bee are shocked when they see the Float.
Oum: Wow! This is amazing! (giggles) But what about (shows her) keeping a low profile?
Hop Pop: Ho Ho... Uuhh... Line?
Gretel: Seriously dude? It’s Ho.
Hop Pop: Doesn’t sound right.
The Parade
Announcer: Welcome, everyone, to the annual holiday parade! And introducing newcomers that are replacing Bueno Nachos...THAI GO!!!
Anne: Mom? What's wrong? If it's not perfect, I'll fix it!
Oum: No no. It's just really nice to be part of the community like this. (while looks the people) Ever since your father and I came here from Bangkok, it's been a challenge fitting in. I've always thought (puts her hands together) making it into this parade would mean we had family done it.
Anne: Wow... I never knew you and Dad felt that way and after months is Wartwood, I know what it's like feeling out of place.
?: Robotification complete. Equipped for battle and ready to rock!
Gretel: Does anyone hear that?
Anne: Hear what?
Gretel: That giant Santa robot coming after us.
Anne: What? Oh crud!
Andrias: Ho ho HO. Hello, Anne Boonchuy.
Anne: That voice! It can't be! King Andrias?!
Sprig: King Andrias is Santa?!
Kevin: Santa’s not even real!
Gretel: Now is not the time!
Polly: WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE, NOW!!!
Ally and Jess: BU-BUT... GIANT ROBOT!!
Polly: ALLY! JESS! PUNCH IT!!!
Ally and Jess: RIGHT!
The Float dashed off and the Santa chased after it.
Anne: Come on guys! Grab anything you can and fight back!
They had an epic chase scene and finally Gretel blasted the tree with fire.
Gretel: Merry Christmas Andrias!
Andrias: Thanks. You too…wait.
The flaming tree blew up the Santa.
Anne: I don't believe this. Look! It's snowing.
Sprig: (sticks out his tongue to taste it) Nope. Ash. It's ash.
Anne: That makes sense.