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Team lay in his bed, scrolling mindlessly on social media. He was bored, there was no other way to put it. Win was out on business, Pharm and Manow were on vacation with their respective boyfriends (Team was invited but he would have to fifth wheel) and the school was closed for the holiday, leaving Team with nothing to do but lay on the bed and scroll.
His scrolling was going just fine, until one particular post caught his eye. It was Win, but next to him was a beautiful woman. The two were at the beach and they were smiling. Team almost threw up then and there.
His heart sank to the bottom of his chest and he felt like crying but the tears just wouldn't fall. The screams wouldn't bubble up. He was frozen still.
He knew, deep down, that Win only saw him as a friend with benefits, he just didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that all of the hugs and kisses, the sweet whispers, and the nights spent together were fake. He wanted to believe Win had feelings for him too, but he knew it wasn't true.
Looking at this picture he had all but confirmed that he was nothing to Win. He looked at the woman in the picture. She was thin, and had golden tan skin that would make the sun jealous. Her hair was auburn and her eyes caught the light in a way that made them look like smooth caramel. Team was stunned.
He got up and moved to look at the full length mirror across the floor. He wasn't slim, and his skin wasn't flawless and his hair was just plain. His eyes looked muddy, not like caramel. He wasn't soft, wasn't pretty. He didn't look like this girl at all. He didn't look like somebody who deserved to stand by Win's side like this woman did. Tears found their way out of Team's eyes and into the open air of the room.
The truth is, Team has almost self-destructed for Win before. He always thought, maybe if he was prettier, maybe if he lost some weight, maybe if he bit his tongue more, Win would finally choose to stand by him. It never worked though. He would just wind up in an awkward conversation, being force-fed some leftovers, and laying underneath Win once more.
At least when they have sex, Team can pretend Win is doing it because he loves him. Because he cares.
Team's thoughts continued to race as tears fell. He threw the phone at the mirror, effectivley shattering both.
He couldn't even feel bad about it because he already felt like his heart was being squeezed so tightly it may burst. He left the glass on the floor. Didn't bother to pick it up, didn't bother to get the phone. He just turned and stalked toward the bed. He lay down for a nap, one that he has probably needed since Win left.
It was always the same. If Win wasn't there, the nightmares were. Team woke with a start barely 2 hours later. The tears came naturally, and he sat there crying for what felt like forever.
He heard a ding from his phone and felt an urgency to see who it was. He got up to cross the room but with tear filled vision and a killer headache he forgot about the glass all over the floor.
He stepped directly on a shard of the mirror, the pain from the cut made him stumble over and land on more.
He rolled onto his back and screamed for the first time that night, though it was a scream he had been holding in since that post first crossed his screen.
He had shards of glass embedded in his skin as he lay on the floor. He reached a bloodied hand out to his phone, but once he reached it he saw how shattered the screen was, it was no use. He had no energy or desire to get up anymore. He was tired and his head hurt. His body ached. He felt weak and pathetic, so he resigned to laying on the floor until who knows when.
The tears returned and lulled him back to sleep.
Win pulled up at the dorm building, excited to see his lover. He didn't tell Team he was coming home today, as he wasn't really supposed to be back for another week. Win, however, pulled a few strings so he could surprise the other.
He pulled a bag out of his back seat of little trinkets he had picked up for Team on his trip and got ready to enter the building.
He ascended stairs that seemed to get longer and longer the more he climbed. He just couldn't wait to see Team's face when he opened the door.
As he neared the room, however, a bad feeling settled into his gut. It only solidified when he got right outside the door and heard whimpering and thrashing. Win was all too familiar with that noise.
He dug around in his pockets for what felt like an eternity before he found the key to Team's room. He unlocked the door with a speed he didn't think was possible and bolted inside the room.
His heart almost stopped when he saw Team lying in a pile of glass while seemingly stuck in another nightmare. There was blood essentially everywhere and it made Win panic even more. He wasted no time in crossing the room and landing by Team's side, careful to avoid the glass on the floor.
When he finally reached Team, he grabbed his shoulders in an effort to wake him up.
Typically, Win would just pull him close in an effort to keep him asleep, but Win deperately needed to wake Team up this time.
It took a few minutes, but Team jolted awake. "Hia?" he choked out with tear tracks down his face. He immediately jumped up to hug Win, but found the pain from the cuts was too much to bare. He let out a yelp and fell back to the ground. New tears threatened to fall, but Win was there. He didn't want to cry in front of him again.
Win looked like a dear caught in headlights. He took a few deep breaths to collect himself before speaking to Team.
"Team, baby, I'm gonna help you up, okay?"
Team stilled at the term of endearment unable to think properly. Before he could even think of a response, Win had put his hands under the other's arms and hoisted him to his feet.
Team lifted his injured foot off the ground and hopped over to the bed with Win's help. After a quick assessment, Win realized Team's front was relatively unscathed. He guided Team to lay on his stomach and stepped away from the bed to find a first aid kit and a trash can.
The tears Team had been witholding since Win walked in finally spilled over and he opted to hide his face in the pillow, occasionally turning to the side for air.
Win returned and got to work in silence. Sometimes he would remove a particularly large shard of glass and he would hear a whimper from Team who was otherwise silent, save for the occasional sniffle.
After about an hour, Win had dinally removed all of the glass from Team's body, disposing of it in the trash can. He dressed all of the wounds and discarded all of his supplies before moving up next to Team and running his fingers through his hair.
"Team, could you look at me, please."
Team moved the pillow out of the way and turned to look up at Win. His face was red and blotchy and covered in tears.
Win pulled his sleeve up over his hand and wiped team's face.
"Don't do that," Team said in a scratchy voice, "You'll mess up your shirt."
Win smiled at Team in a loving manner, "I can always wash it."
Team just nodded and let Win wipe his face, basking in the other's touch.
There was a long silence which eventually broke when Win spoke up.
"Team, could you tell me what happened?"
Team had previously been relaxed and pliant but the question caused him to freeze up.
Win noticed how stiff he had become and moved to card his fingers through Team's hair.
Team relaxed a little more and looked up at Win.
"It's stupid," he announced.
Win was not content with that response.
"I never want to hear you say that about anything regarding yourself, Team. I was so scared when I walked in and saw you lying on the floor like that. There was so much blood, Team," Win was starting to cry too. The scene he walked in on broke his heart, and even thinking about it now was hard to do.
Team reached up to wipe a tear from Win's eye.
"I'm sorry."
Win took the hand from his face and held it in his own. He shook his head.
"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what happened. Please."
Team nodded.
"I saw your post this morning, the one with the pretty lady." Team took in a deep breath before continuing. "I thought that she looked ... more fit ... to stand beside you."
Win didn't make a peep, just continued to hold Team's hand. He could guess where this was going, but he wanted to let the other finish.
"I lost my mind, Hia. I looked in the mirror and was so ashamed, so I threw my phone.
Later I got up to go get it, but I forgot about the glass. I stepped on a piece and the shock caused me to fall over. My phone was broken so I couldn't call anyone and it was too painful to move."
Team's eyes became glassy as new tears formed, but Win wiped them away before they could even fall. He sighed.
"Team, that girl was just a coworker. You should know that I only care about you-"
"You never told me that."
Win blinked and realized that he never, in fact, told Team how he felt.
He was completely ashamed. He was about to open his mouth to say something but Team started talking before he could.
"It's really okay. I know that this relationship in only sex. I'm okay with that. I don't know why that slipped my mind earlier."
"Team..."
"No really it's fine, I'll be okay"
"Team!"
Whatever words Team was about to say died on his lips as soon as he heard the command in Win's voice.
"Team that's not what this is at all."
Win helped Team to sit up so that they could talke face to face. Once they were both situated, he continued.
"You are so much more that sex to me," he put one hand on Team's cheek. "You are my world. In my eyes, you hung the stars and and moon. I'm sorry I've never said it properly, but I love you. I love you so much."
Team started to interject.
"But I-"
"You are so beautiful, Team. I could never ask for anyone more perfect than you."
Team wanted to cry, but instead he just lunged foward and trapped Win in a tight hug.
"I love you, too."
Win pulled out of the hug and crashed his lips onto Team's. It was a long and gentle kiss, one that conveyed every emotion the pair had felt that night. Win pulled away.
"Let's get you to bed."
Team didn't realize how exhausted he was until the prospect was mentioned. He just nodded.
Win went to get up, but Team grabbed his arm.
"Don't go," Team's eyes pleaded more than his voice.
Win ruffled his lover's hair.
"I'm just going to get you some pajamas, my love"
Team let go and kept his gaze on him as Win went to the dresser. He was almost scared to wake up and have all be a dream.
Win returned and help strip the torn clothes off of Team, replacing them with the warm pajamas he pulled from the drawer.
Once he was all clean and cozy, Win helped Team lay down and get under the covers. He sat there for a while, stroking the Team's hair until his breathing evened out.
Once he was sure Team was asleep, Win got up and cleaned the glass and blood off the floor before he returned to bed. He didn't want Team to wake up and have to deal with the mess.
When he finished, he crawled back into bed and wrapped Team in his arms. The other was sound asleep but naturally cuddled up to Win.
Win didn't know how he became so lucky, but he did know that he loved Team dearly.
With Team safe in his arms, Win fell asleep too.