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Ana climbed down the hatch of the rusty boat, her rifle clinking against the cylindrical walls each time she took another step down. As she descended, the lack of noise coming from the other girls she knew would be under the deck was becoming concerning. She abandoned the ladder entirely, opting to jump down the rest of the way. If something had happened, she needed to know immediately.
To Ana’s surprise, when she reached the bottom of the hatch and spun around, she found nothing out of the ordinary. Well, the silence was unusual, but the ship’s regular occupants were all present. Even Marsha was in the bedroom, typical cigarette between her lips when she usually only came through in passing. The sight of all of her girls made Ana smile softly, forgetting about her previous worries, and entering the threshold to their bunk beds, sitting down next to Marsha on her assigned cot. Seeing it occupied for the first time made Ana feel warm, yet something was still not quite right.
Ana set her rifle down, leaning it against the bedpost before scooting closer to Marsha on the thin mattress. “Why is it so quiet in here?” She asked, keeping her voice at a whisper.
Marsha silently passed her cigarette to Ana, kissing the redhead on the cheek in greeting as Ana took a drag before passing it back, leaving them to sit quietly once more. One thing Ana had learned about Marsha was that she loved to take her time. Enjoyed dragging out every moment to allow for her occasional lapses in control where she threw caution to the wind and fired carelessly. That was simply her way, and Ana, as well as Bea and Gert, had adapted accordingly and nurtured their ability to be endlessly patient.
“They need to be able to hear each other.” Marsha finally explained, albeit cryptically. She nodded to Bea on the top bunk, sitting with her arms and legs crossed, a slight furrow in her brow and pout on her lips. Then she pointed to Gert, who was stoically leaning against the wall next to Bea and Ana’s bunks. At that moment, Ana noticed Gert’s right hand rapidly tapping the metal walls next to her, making strange patterns Ana couldn’t decipher.
When Gert stopped tapping, Bea scoffed and began her sequence of quick pokes to the wall behind herself. The sound was faint, but loud enough that all four of the ship’s members could hear the intense tapping through the absolute silence.
“What are they doing?” Ana whispered to Marsha again. She had never seen — or heard — them do anything like this before.
Marsha chuckled softly, tossing her cigarette on the floor, stamping it out with her foot, and kicking it under her bed. “Morse code.” She rolled her eyes with a fondness that was nearly invisible.
Morse code , Ana thought, interesting .
The two went mute once again, watching Gert and Bea trade, in increasing aggression, tap for tap, blow for blow.
Ana was lost. She had barely known anything about Morse code to begin with, let alone know how to translate it. Instead of trying to make any more sense of the situation, Ana closed her eyes and laid back on Marsha’s bed. She was thoroughly enjoying the quiet. It wasn’t often that she could relax and not have to tend to something war-related right outside their home.
Ana closed her eyes and began to feel herself drifting off until she was suddenly jerked awake by Bea’s screaming.
“Take that back!” She yelled, beginning to climb down from her bunk bed, clearly heading for Gert.
Pushing herself off the boat’s wall, Gert stepped a few feet back towards the hatch. “No. You started it.”
“ You started in when you destroyed my plane!”
Gert grimaced, “You weren’t supposed to know!”
As soon as Bea’s feet hit the ground, she sprinted towards Gert, tackling her to the ground. In a heated bout of emotions, Bea and Gert rolled around on the floor, trading actual blows as Gert covered her face with her forearms while Bea attempted to land a hit on Gert.
Ana looked to Marsha, whose unbothered facade was starting to slowly fall the longer the two tussled on the floor. Grabbing Marsha’s hand, Ana pulled her to action and made way for their girlfriends, dropping to their knees and attempting to pull them apart. The amount of effort it took to pry the two off each other left Ana and Marsha heaving for breath. In their restrained states, Gert relaxed into Ana’s hold while Bea attempted to wriggle out of Marsha’s, still bubbling with rage as she stared at Gert across the room.
“Are you two done?” Marsha asked, craning her neck to look at Bea, whose back was flush against Marsha’s front. “If I let you go, Bea, will you try to hit Gert again?”
Narrowing her eyes at Gert a few feet away, Bea nodded, huffing with anger that still hadn’t fizzled out, “Yes.” At least she could admit it.
“Okay then…” Marsha sighed, tightening her hold on Bea before spinning them around on the floor to face the wall. Out of sight out of mind?
Now that Marsha’s back was towards them, and Bea was sufficiently restrained, Ana loosened her arms around Gert, confident that, as the most level-headed one in their relationship, Gert could be trusted to not start another fight.
As Gert moved away to sit face-to-face with Ana, the redhead was about to go on a tangent about solving problems with words, but quickly stopped when she noticed Gert’s eyes starting to glisten. Within seconds, tears were streaming down her face as she covered her mouth and began sobbing. Ana frantically pulled Gert back into her embrace, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering into her ear.
“What’s wrong, Gertie?” Ana asked. She didn’t believe that an average fight with Bea would get Gert this upset. Of course, this fight didn't seem like their typical quarrel, but surely it wouldn’t warrant this much of a breakdown, right?
“It was my fault.” Gert cried into Ana’s shoulder, gripping the back of her coat. Still, Ana was unsure of what any of this meant. She hadn’t been present to see the previous events that caused Bea and Gert’s fight, but the confession from the girl in her arms told her that it must be serious. Definitely not an average fight .
Ana snapped in Marsha’s direction, attempting to get her attention while continuing to comfort Gert. Luckily, the small noise easily gained Marsha’s focus, and she turned her neck as far back as she could to see what Ana needed her for.
Ana gestured to Gert sobbing in her arms, making Marsha’s face twist in concern and confusion. Marsha then turned back around, ducking her head down slightly, near the side of Bea’s own. Ana assumed she must have alerted Bea to Gert’s current state, as the pilot quickly turned, her face falling at the sight of her girlfriend quietly choking back tears.
Ana watched Bea take a deep breath before whispering to Marsha and being let free from the blonde’s hold. Bea shuffled across the ship’s floor before sitting down beside Ana. The redhead took that as her cue to leave the two be, passing Gert off to Bea and retreating to Marsha’s side.
As soon as Bea’s arms surrounded Gert, apologies spewed out, filling the silence of the room.
“I’m so sorry Bea. I shouldn’t have done that, I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” Gert sniffled.
Bea patted Gert’s head gently, “I know, Gertie. I know.” She spoke softly.
Ana watched as Bea continued to hold Gert, slowly calming her down. A million thoughts were swirling in Ana’s head, yet she still had no answers to any of the questions that had formed in the short amount of time she had been down in the ship.
Seemingly having read her mind, Marsha leaned in, “Bea told me that Gert ‘broke’ her plane. The one June gave her.” She nodded, seeing Ana’s stunned expression. “Well, she caught Gert taking out one of the components that makes the plane fly, so it just… doesn’t work.” She shrugged.
“Will it ever work?” Ana asked, worriedly.
Marsha smiled, “I watched Gert hide the pieces under her pillow when Bea was still outside earlier. So, the parts are all here but if Gert can’t fix it, June can. It should be flying by tomorrow.”
Now Ana understood why Bea was so angry. To her, it seemed like Gert had destroyed the singular piece of equipment that allowed her to truly be free. The skies were Bea’s second home, and having that stripped away from her by someone she loved must have hurt more than any physical wound she could have possibly inflicted.
But to Gert, this small act of sabotage could save Bea’s life. Everything above the clouds and over the water was unknown to Gert. How could she allow Bea to navigate them alone if she couldn’t even fathom what was out there herself?
Two conflicting acts of love caused a painful clash between two people thinking they were right and the other was ignorant. Now that the glass was shattered, it was up to both of them to pick up the shards and put them back together.
“I’ll put the pieces back in tomorrow.” Gert wiped her eyes, sitting up and leaving Bea’s embrace.
Bea looked confused, “What do you mean, ‘put the pieces back?’” She asked.
“The pieces I removed from the plane. They’re under my pillow.” Gert looked down, clearly still ashamed.
“You still have them?”
“Of course I do. You need them for it to work?” Gert seemed to be attempting to make sense of the situation, carefully weighing her words as she spoke.
A brightly hopeful smile spread across Bea’s face as she jumped up and ran to Gert’s bed, rifling around inside her pillowcase. After a brief moment, she pulled her hand out, revealing a dozen tiny metal pieces in her palm. “I thought they were gone. I thought you might have destroyed them or thrown them out.” She closed her hand and held her fist to her chest, seemingly guarding them from anything or anyone else.
Shaking her head and standing up, Gert followed Bea, placing a hand on her bicep. “Bea, I wouldn’t do that. I just didn’t want you to crash or have something bad happen to you in the sky so… I took the parts out so it couldn’t fly. I swear I was going to put them back later.”
A soft smile lingered on Bea’s lips. “Thank you, Gertie.” She pressed forward and planted a quick kiss on Gert’s lips before pushing past her and heading to the hatch.
Before Bea could begin climbing the ladder, though, Marsha stopped her, “Wait, wait, wait.” Marsha finally stood up off the floor and approached Bea. “You can’t go out now. It’s way too dark.”
“You’re always out when it’s dark.” Bea stared accusingly at Marsha.
The blonde got ready to refute Bea’s statement before realizing the truth in it and immediately backing down. “Fine then. I’ll stay in here tonight if you stay in here tonight. Deal?”
Understanding the trade, Bea’s face lit up excitedly. Ana and Gert also began to feel a giddiness in the air. Marsha never slept, let alone slept below deck. This would be a once in a lifetime time opportunity and none of them wanted to miss out on it.
“Yes! Yes, deal!” Bea nodded shoving the plane parts into her skirt pocket and leaping towards Marsha, forcing her into a hug. Marsha pretended not to like it, trying to fight back her smile and keep her tough guy persona as she held Bea against her.
Ana stood beside the bunk beds, “What do you say we try and push these things together? I think two mattresses should fit all four of us.” She beckoned Gert over to help push one of the beds while Marsha and Bea started to move the other two.
With a small amount of exertion from both parties, they were able to move the beds together, meeting in the middle of the room. Immediately, Bea flopped down onto the large bed, her face sinking into the plush of the cot.
“Come lay down, guys.” Bea’s muffled voice suggested, “It’s super comfy.”
“Can’t say no to that.” Ana smiled before plopping down right beside the pilot.
Marsha and Gert wasted no time following, taking their spots on the mega-bed. Within seconds, everyone was cozied up under the blankets, ready to fall asleep. Marsha had somehow been forced into the middle of the bed, by who she was unsure, now flanked by Gert and Ana as Bea laid on top of her.
“I can hear your heartbeat.” Bea whispered, pressing her ear into Marsha’s chest even harder, “Very steady.” She observed, drawing a giggle from Gert and Ana.
Marsha shrugged, “It’s pretty calming down here. A lot less commotion than up there.” She nodded upwards, towards the deck. “But that’s what makes me stay out of here. It feels too good to be true.”
Gert placed a hand on Marsha’s shoulder, “You’re life doesn’t need to be terrible Marsha. It’s okay to slow down, stop fighting.”
“I’ll… take your word for it.” Marsha smiled softly.
Ana didn’t believe that Marsha would change her habits or start sleeping in her bed. She knew that Marsha had been at war since the day she was born, and there was nothing they could do to completely solve her problems. However, maybe this was the first step towards a life that didn’t involve Marsha with dark circles under her eyes, camping out on the ship’s deck at night waiting for something to strike. Maybe this was a step towards something resembling domesticity in a world that rarely ever felt tranquil. Just the thought sent an excited jolt down Ana’s spine.
“Can we do this more often?” Ana asked softly, already predicting what Marsha might say to forever reject the idea.
“I’ll think about it,” Marsha replied even softer.
All four of them immediately went silent, not knowing if they all heard what they thought they did.
Finally, Gert spoke up, “That wasn’t a no.” Her grin was audible through her voice. “That wasn’t a no!”
Ana grabbed Marsha’s arm and began to jostle her wildly, “That wasn’t a no!” She repeated.
“That’s technically a yes,” Bea concluded, lifting her head off Marsha’s chest to stare down at her.
“It’s not a yes,” Marsha corrected, “It’s an ‘I’ll think about it.’” She bit her lip to try and hold back her smile, “Now go to sleep before it does become a no.”
Not wanting Marsha to go back on her word, all three girls immediately quieted down and shut their eyes. Yet, there was still one little thing that needed to be said.
“I love you all,” Ana whispered.
“I love you, too.” Gert and Bea replied at the same time, making them chuckle softly before Bea reached over to ruffle Gert’s hair.
Marsha, on the other hand, turned her head to place a kiss on each of her girlfriend’s foreheads before muttering a barely audible “I love you.” back to them.
Nothing about their situation was perfect. They argued and made countless amounts of mistakes, but in the midst of it all they were simply four girls in love, trying to make the best of the world they were stranded in. The only thing each of them could rely on was each other, and that was more than any of them could ask for.
Finally, after a whirlwind of a day, all four girls shut their eyes and finally allowed sleep to wash over them in tandem with the comforting warmth they found in each other’s arms. Before Ana completely slipped into unconsciousness, she noticed the ever-present fondness in her heart that burned for the three girls beside her. They were bound to face war day after day, no matter the effort they provided, but at least Ana had something to fight for. She would protect her girls and help them prosper, for the sole purpose of finding more time like this with them.
So while Ana finally drifted off with a smile on her face, she knew that everything would have been worth it if she could always have her loves.